Fortune Telling

>>38487504
will i become a narc in the future
this is for you Nick, you piece of shit

>>38487504
>hhv
>kissed a gay girl once, not sure if it counts
>NEET for over ten years
>fat

Will I successfully kill myself in September, or will I fuck up and/or pussy out?

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>>38487654
>Will I successfully kill myself in September, or will I fuck up and/or pussy out?

The cards are speaking pretty clear: At the moment, you don't have the will OR the skill to off yourself from this world.
And if you'll gain the courage to do so, the cards are saying that you'll probably fail.
Then again, You've drew a Six of wands, even if upsidedown the card in itself speaks of overcoming obstacles and getting towards objectives. This could either mean that stuff will eventually get better in your life or that your dream of killing yourself will become true, assuming you'll work hard enought.

>>38487563
So much for the "tell the oracle something about yourself."
You go after the other anon because you didn't followed the rules my man.

>>38487818
Thank you for the reading, wise oracle.

The full nine yards, khhv and I haven't talked to a girl that wasn't forced to talk to me in 2 years.

I also love history, and currently learning German history. Just got past the 1848 revolution.

>>38488015
Forgot the query, will I ever find love?

>>38487504
>khhv
>I'm a shameless coward. I constantly avoid talking to people (even long time friends) to avoid rejection, and procrastinate doing things that are important to me so I can avoid failure. Despite that, my favorite fictional characters are the ones who have the courage to stand up for the things they believe in and pursue their passions. I guess it is a form of escapism.

My question is: Will I ever have the courage to do the things I want to do? I realize courage isn't something that just randomly drops in your lap. I'm just wondering whether or not I'll learn how to have any faith in myself.

I apologize if this is a lot of text.

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>>38487563
>will i become a narc in the future

Your fate is rather strange.
It seems that you don't want to start this career because of an inner sense of justice or responsability towards society. A wild guess and intuition tells me that that Nick could have something to do about it (go figure).
But at the same time, even if you're not the more righteous of the folks, the cards are in your favor. A nice ace of pentacles shines your path, and tells you that you're probably in the right path and in a good moment.
The main obstacle that you'll find could be even be the result of a physical sickness, maybe even caused overworking, but I'm not 100% sure on that. Be aware that you'll need to be flexible to get where you want.
But you seem to be a somewhat smart dude in what you do, so you'll probably be around. This is also the second king you draw: K of pentacles.
The final thing I have to tell you is to Be really really really carefull. You drew the tower as your last card. That's a danger allert. Be sure to not be cocky and too much overconfident and if you love yourself, play by the rules. Problems and dangers could be around the corner.

>>38488015
>>38488063
>>38488088
Working on this ones. Be patient.

>KHHV
>I am a research assistant for a major company
Does she still hate me? Should I reach out to her?

>used goods
>I moved far away to run away from myself

Tell me if shes coming back. Its all I can think of. She said she would but I can't let it go

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>>38487504
nice nice
hmmmm
i have a slight thing on which my eyes get all tired from light and i have to close them for several minutes
i think its called photophobia? idk

QUERY:
>Will the destined future that i saw but seems unlikely come to happen even if it seems unlikely because of how i am?
jnfjlwkngwk thats it yess

KHHV

will there be people watching when I die or will I be alone

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>>38488088
>>38487504
KHV status is the same as this dude.
Does Taylor love me as I love her? If so, is a relationship between the two of us in our near future?

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>>38488063
>>38488015
Okay. You too have an interesting reading.

The universe has a werid plan for every one of us, and you're kinda unlucky at the moment.
Your first card was a terrible X of spades. It says that It will be a really hard working. Odds are stacked against you at this moment. The weird thing is that this card popped up and jumped out of the deck while i was shuffling the cards around.

But don't be sad. The rest of your draw is actually nicer than this first cart.
Look for someone close to you. Or at least, as close you can get. Possibly blonde, but don't count on that. I say that because the cards are suggesting that you may already know the love of your life, and you just need to realize it. The two of pentacles tells us that this person is on the genki type. He/She will love you and passion will be pretty strong between you two.

The things that are afflicting your love are two: On your side, there's sadness. Your sadness. It's chaining you to the ground mate. (an upsidedown queen of pentacles).
The main issue The card are seeing is that you're not having a "good streak" a nice ace of pentacles is pretty much telling us that you'll get the cherry on the cake with love, but as for now, you miss the cake. So no cherry for you.
In the end, A queen of wands confirms that it's a person close to you. Maybe someone you were forced to work or do buisness with.

There's potential. Fate is both against and towards you.

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Kissed/held hands with a girl once, still a virgin.

Query: Will I ever make a meaningful/positive impact on the world, and if I do will anyone care?

>>38487504
I'll give this a go.
>khhv status
I've experienced all of the letters
>something about myself
I've been in uni for 7 years.
>query:
In which year will 4chan die?

>>38488531
Forgot to mention something about my self, sorry.

I like drawing and have always had an interest in art.

>>38488228
Clever how you indicated khhv status by the image you posted.

>>38488587
oh actually i totally forgot about that
i dont get it sorry im dumb

>>38488471
I don't usually believe this stuff, but that's eerily accurate. Thank you, based magicanon

>>38487504
Kissless virgin who has never been in a relationship.

I enjoy long drives to nowhere and I'm studying Chem Engineering, but I'm trying to switch to EE.

Just give it to me straight, how's my future love life? I'm an ugly manlet so I'm prepared to die alone.

>>38488599
>i dont get it sorry im dumb
You like anime so I'm sure you have a thriving sex life.

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>khhv
More likely just KV, if the involuntary kissing doesn't count.
>smthn about myself
I'm INTP and my BMI is around 17,9.
Also I put a LOT of sugar in my tea or coffee.
>question
Will I manage to live this life as worthy human being with loving wife, children and noticeable achievements behind, or should I simply kys now?

>>38488774
lmao while its funny and sometimes applies thats not always true nowadays
everyone is a geek nowadays imo

well "geek" but you get me im sure sure

>>38487504
Fuck it, this seems like fun.
>khhv status
kv.
>something about yourself
I don't know, I guess having vitiligo is interesting.
>query
Will my future be successful? I'm about to head off to college for stem and I'm anxious for my future and if I'll be successful. I just want to be happy...

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>>38488088
Okay, as you're aware that courage isn't a thing that pops out of nothing, I focused on a simple thing: Are you on the right path now?

The answer is, no. You're not on the right path to become a courage man. But I'm pretty sure you already knew that. Cards say that you could have fallen for the "nice guy" meme a little bit too much, Or in general that you're a little bit too submissive.
You seem to not have courage because you put yourself on a too high pedestal. It seems that you want to be liked. And saying "No" it's not... the best way to be liked by everyone.
Your draw is half wads and half cups. Cups are water, my friend: Introspective and submissive. While wands are fire: the element of strenght and human control over nature.
A knight of cups tells me that you're not trying to change. You're just there. You wish you tried but... You don't.
Help may come from a family member (page of wands. But it can also mean from a some sort of messanger, so maybe a therapist too.)

In the end, I can tell you that becoming the man you want to be will be hard but not impossible: An upside down devil is standing in your way. You have to defeat this fiend you carry inside. (It can also mean you could be under some sort of evil spell/malediction, but I don't think that's the case)

It's not an impossible path, anon. But you need to take them wands and be strong.

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>>38488162
>>KHHV
>>I am a research assistant for a major company
>Does she still hate me? Should I reach out to her?

It seems that she didn't used to hate you, To be fair, a 10 of cups here could mean that you two were in a good relation with each other.
But as for now, a king of swords stands here, upside down. It's a pretty scary figure to look at. She Is mad with you. Yes. She probably is already mad with you.
But don't be scared. An ace of cups seems to tell us that in the future you'll be forgiven, and happyness will return to you. It's a nice transition, From cups, to swords to cups again.
I like this draw. You should probably wait a little bit more, to be honest. I don't know what you did, but I'm sure that she'll eventually forgive you.
That said, if you don't fuck stuff up.

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>>38488201
>Tell me if shes coming back. Its all I can think of. She said she would but I can't let it go


Something happened in your family and she walked away. The 10 of pentacles here tells me this. It's not a negative card in itself (even if you drew it upside down) But it can mean troubles.
Now, here we have a really powerful draw for what you're asking. A 3 of swords (pic related)
It depicts perfectly the way you're feeling I'm sure. This card is usually a sign "of something missing" or something "broken" between two. I like this card alot, even if it's negative. And I like this draw too, Even if it's negative.
For your future I can only say that it depends on you. I have here a 7 of pentacles. If you work actively towards her, she'll be back. This card carries a positive reward, but you have to earn it.

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>>38487504
>24KHHV
>went so deep into escapism that even a happy movie makes me feel disgustingly envious instead of helping
>5 years of NEET lifestyle is slowly killing my emotional side
>2 years of complete social reclusion is making me feel more comfortable in sorrow than in joy
>never fell in love

will it get better or should i just neck myself? (yes for better, no for helium)

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>>38488228

Now, you seem to kinda care about the "future you saw" and you are aware of the risks and the challenges you're going to run into if or when You'll try to make it into a reality. ( a 7 of sticks here carries only problems. Not unbearable, but still problems)
This is even more underlined by the 5 of sticks that popped out right after: It will be a really hard fight to make what you saw into a reality.
Your draw is honestly terrible: To back you up you have this puny 7 of swords, that is an allarm of a plan that could fail. It's not written in the star, but it definitly could. There's hope tho, as you also have a nice 9 of cups that is a monitor of success.
In the end, I'd say that (with a draw of the emperor) You could succeed only if you are strenghty, focused and chad enought to overcome a lack of courage/morals during your path.

The universe seems to hate you, but don't lose your focus mate.

>not khhv
>had an extremely abusive traumatic childhood
>just want to achieve happiness in life
Am I ever gonna have that perfect nuclear era family

>>38488386
Fug forgot to mention something about myself. I like to read books and make art.

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>>38488242
As I shuffled, the Death and the 8 of spades popped out.

There's fatality in the air. The 8 of swords usually means bad news.
You will probably die without anyone watching.
Life is hard anon. Maybe you could change your fate. As for now, you're headed to a very dark place.

Please do something about it. The card of the death can also mean a change: To die and born again.
I wouln't be all positive and say that you will change the second card if you work hard enought. But it's worth a shot.

Please do something.

khhv never done anything with the opposite sex but I'm act gay. Never had a bf though.
I live in my own thoughts and am afraid to face the world. I just want my escapism to be real so I don't have to live in the bleak real world.

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>>38489958
I have only an hour left on this thread. I'll see where I can get with the readings.
If you last oners are left out, I'm sorry.

I'd call it for the night after this post!
No more readings after this fellow, assuming I can get to him.

Sorry!

>>38489658
oh i see so
that probably wont happen
hmmm i understand
its not that bad i guess

thank you anonon

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>>38488386
>Does Taylor love me as I love her? If so, is a relationship between the two of us in our near future?

Your fears seems to have root in reality anon. Fate seems against you with her, as for now. You drew a 5 of cups that's a bad sign in this case. It literally means failied expectations.
But don't be too sad. The future may change in better: A 2 of swords tells me that you can work around her initial indifference in your regards. But you'll need to be "creative" and kickstart the whole thing. You need to make her change idea and eventually, she'll start liking you, Slowly. Both the two of swords and the ace of wands are there, to tell you that it will be a slow growing thing between the two of us. But it doesn't look bad.
Don't lose your focus. There will be something between the two of us. Something pretty strong (some differences in the ways you two see the world for example, even politics).
But if you follow the right plan, she'll eventually love you.
Good luck.

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>>38488531
It's a possibility. But you'll be surprised to know what and how you'll do.
It will surely be a positive impact. As to the broadness of the thing:
It's a possibility that it will be a "worldwide thing" as you wanted. But Cards suggest that it will probably be a more "personal world" kind of thing.
You'll probably impact the world of another small group of close people. It's more probable that you'll be the centre of a family, or a group of friends. (the 2 of cups means this).

The cards are almost sure that You'll impact the "inner" world of someone/ A small group of people, you won't know or realize how you impact them and they will care about you.

It's not a bad future, but probably not the future you were expecting.

>>38490234
To be honest I always felt kind of skeptical about tarot readings, but what you said is really accurate. Thank you for your time fortune telling op.

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>>38490383
Thanks, Oracle dude.

>>38487504
>HHV
>i used to make out with my step sister when i was like 10 yo up until i was 12 not sure if it counts
>kinda fit
>dont look bad im a 6/10 maybe a 7 sometimes
>really autistic and shy
will i ever love someone, and if i do will they love me?

>>38487504
>khv
>NEET
>My life feel empty and everyday feels the same.
>I don't feel like I belong with any group of people. The concept of love has become alien to me. Everyday I feel lost within this world since I cannot connect with people.

Is there anything left to experience in this timeline ? Will it ever change ?

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>KV
>Regular guy buy cant fit in anywhere and hard to relate to most people

Now Oracle, I'm in bit of a pickle. Through out this past whole year I'm starting to experience deja vu very frequently. Somtimes 4-7 times in a week. But it's often deja vu of realistic dreams I have (which are few, alot of my dreams are very vivid) and in said dreams, I often die. Like for example I'll be in a very realistic time and setting, die in a dream. And months/weeks/days later I'll be in the same exact setting, but in real life. Am I going to die soon or do I just have brain damage?

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>>38488540
Come on mate. Cards don't give precise numbers/date and you probably know that.
Anyway here are some numbers: 13, 1, 10.

For what I can tell, It won't close soonish, but when it will close it will probably go out pretty bad and pretty sadly.
10 of spades kind of sadly. (Look up in the thread, I've posted it before).

>>38488659
You will probably find love. Or at least, you'll find stability in your love situation. This could mean that you could either find a girl that loves you or you could end up accepting the fact that you'll be alone. But in both cases it will be an happy acceptance. (The justice is what you drew here)
But it's possible that you'll find a girl, and In case it will be a very passionate love. And somewhat of a quick one: You'll look at her and know that she's "the one".
You should look around for a sporty girl, that or some tublerette: The card that should describe her is the 7 of wands, that should more or less mean fights and competition. That's what the universe sees as your "other half". But at the same time she'll like you alot, so don't worry. She'll fight but not against you.
Again, it seems that you're the main antagonist of the story. You need to be open with yourself and make the first step. Anyway, it seems that you won't get your girl virgin. At this moment she's in a pretty "let's have fun" mindset: This is because she's probably hiding some insecurities. Maybe trying to "cure her" from said insecurities is the path to her heart, as it seems that you'll meet her up in some place you'll go to have some fun. Keep an eye open next time you're on break/doing holidays etc...

Sorry, It's time for me to go. This concludes it. I'll make another thread another day. But for now, I'm going away. It was fun. Sorry if I didn't got to you. I may do more if I wake up and the thread is still alive. But I don't think it'll be the case.

Goodnight /r9k/!

Your Oracle is out!

>Not khhv
>29, Unemployed, No relationship experience
If I don't kill myself, will I die satisfied with my decision? Please don't lie.

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21yo wiz apprentice
I'm strange but well liked irl

I'm applying for a job tomorrow and I'm wondering how it will go

>>38490730
Thanks for the readings, my man.
>sporty Stacy or tumblrette are my options, both of which have "fighting" personalities
Well, you pretty much caught my tomboy/hothead fetish, what the fuck. Not sure about the tumblrette, though. I really liked Ryuko from KLK and Monkey from Bakemono.

What should I expect if I get the tumblrette, lads? What about the sporty girl?