Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 5918. page

We can't hekp you, because we don't know her. Destroying someone is an intensely personal act, even intimate in some ways. You have to know exactly which buttons to push. You probably know those better than we do.

>>16910825
mock her weight. dont do it many times tho or it'll lose effect, but the first time you do it is probably gonna hit her like a bomb. not that I advocate bullying maybe you should just try to reason with her. why does she bother you that much?

How long until you graduate?

>>16910802
1 year

>>16910795
Speak with him about your anxiety problems. If he's a man with a brain AND a little bit common sense, he will realize that he is a insensitive prick. Talking about having a threesome is ok ofc, because partners should always talk about needs and desires they have, but in this case it would be about respect and consideration of your feelings to not be a guy aksing if he may cum into the other girl. (dickmove IMHO, pun intended)

tl;dr Tell him about your problems, if he can't or won't understand your situation, leave him

"Et tu, Brutus?"

Even though they got what they wanted and some justice as well, you were cheated and stabbed in the back by a person you saw as a brother. Shit like that will always bug you, you only learn to not care over time and find better things.

It happened to me as well. Kinda different and it's been years since as well.
>be soldier, with a girlfriend
>also friendly with best friend and his gf
>notice that they break up and I continue talking to friend like nothing
>best friend starts feeding my gf things about me, that I'm fucking other girls while out here and that i dont care about her
>we break up, stupidly didnt think the bf was behind it all
>deployment ends and I show up to talk with my ex, see what happened, just wanted answers, by now Iheard from a mutual friend that theybstarted dating
>talk and just ask "why him?"
>"oh, he was there to help me when we broke up, and he told me that you were okay with him dating me"

I just walked off and moped for a bit and said fuck it. It hurt. He showed up at my house one day to see what was doing on and acted like nothing had happened. I popped a fist into his gut and said get out.
Apparently he thought I was cheating on my ex, gf at the time, with his ex. That from the other side of the world i was setting it up so we could hook up after I came back.

>>16910789
>It sounds like Im doing fine and theyre not, so why the hell can't i stop being like this?
You were betrayed, and in one of the worst possible ways. Injuries like that take time to heal, and even then, you need to let them.

Don't keep this bottled up. Talk to someone (preferably not them) who can help you get these feelings out where you can process them. Only then will you be able to let them go.

>>16910821
its kinda nice to know someone else understands. I always feel like a dick even thinking about bringing up my feelings or what happened.

Selling drugs in this age? Nah you are on Einstein's level.

You might be being set up.

>>16910783
>Selling drugs in this age?
b-but literally everyone does it

>>16910784
Without going into why I know I'm not.

>>16910773
Being born in the great depression would be great.

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Everyone feels awkward sometimes.

All you acward social fucks need to get into acting. Learn the power of bullshit.

Everyone who goes to those concerts think like you. Others will do it, but statistically like maybe 10-20% will be caught. I'm just shitposting.

>>16910746
Depends where you live and the music genre. You will without a doubt see weed, and psychedelics (Molly, l) will likely be present... But it sounds like you don't know you're way around at all, or have friends or connections so you probably won't see anything besides weed

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>>16910753
I'm fine with that, I've never tried anything besides weed in my life and to be honest I would probably only give molly a shot since it is a music festival after all.

Anyways, do you think it will be expensive? I'd smoke weed for sure if I had the chance.

No I don't know my way around at all, I'm heading with a friend who only smokes weed like once or twice a year.

Any idea how I should approach people with the intent of getting high?

"Fuck you."

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It means you need to date women who are not your friends.

Welcome to THE DANGER ZONE.

What it could be is that you value her friendship, but at the same time you have begun to develop feelings for her romantically. And you dont want to risk either.
The problem lies in that if she didn't see you as a potential partner from the start you have always been just a friend.
Sure there are a few times wjen friendship goes beyond, but tbose are rare. Most of the time you are pretty much set as one or the other, it takes a big event to remove the divisor between the two.
There is also the possibility that she was into you at the start and over time saw you weren't interested in more and just marked you as a pal, and she'll never be your gal.

>>16910645
The rationale is (supposedly) that everyone deserves empathy, because we would want people to empathize with us.

I can't say I hold with it. There are people in this world who do not deserve empathy (such as instigators), and even people with whom it is actively harmful to empathize with (such as false accusers). Their friends and loved ones, now, that's a different subject: their only crime is being mistaken, and it's tough to blame them for that, given that they are being duped.

>>16910645
If we start from the assumption that there is no gene for being evil, then everyone who does bad things is reacting to things in their past that made them turn sour. It is therefore possible to see them as victims first, and evil-doers only after being victims.

It can take the forgiveness and generosity of a saint to believe that fully, but we all make some small effort to forgive, just to avoid being burned up in resentment.

Exact same problem here OP. Mental illness really fucks with your social life. Also looking for answers.

>>16910630
Good luck. I've asked that question a million times here, never got any concrete answers, just those "Go out there and be somebody!" type of non-answers.

UK Londonfag.

The gym. Try and find a group to do gym stuff with.

Why 40 specifically? It's a fucking meaningless number.

1. bf: he slowly turned into a radical national socialist
2. bf: he moved away to the other side of the world
3. bf: i got pregnant and had an abortion. We didn't make it trough that
4.bf: hopefully never

learn about communication. It might sound clichée but it's the foundation.
Learn about the different way ro show affection (google languages of love).
Have sex often. Look at it as the adults equivalent to playing. It should be lighthearted and something you both look forward too.
There is so so much more, but it would be excessive to type that out witheout knowing what you already got under your belt and what not...

>>16910611
1. gf: met another guy, thought she was in love (after 3y with me). Nope. Tried to get back with me. Nope again.

2. Lost the spark after a few months, wasn't that into her anyway

3. gf: Broke up with me because we wanted different things in life. I was too lazy and she was fucking too much inhibited. Got sad for some time though..

4. gf: was madly in love with, I was less in love, and it broke us. Like I wanted to see her like 3 times a week, she wanted to see me everyday and sleep with me every night... I didn't want to (comr on, we've beent together for 3 months and you want me to move in with you ?!), and that led us to several fights.
(Also she was a control freak so eh, dodged a bullet here)

Also, this post give good advices

>>16910628


>learn about communication
YES
>Learn about the different way ro show affection (google languages of love).
Yep
>Have sex often.
At least come to an "arrangment" where the 2 persons are ok with

>>16910587
(CONT)
I feel like I've always been held to very high standards because some shrink must have told my dad I was some kind of genius, and I've never been able to live up to them because everybody else can clearly handle basic shit better than I can. I don't know if me wanting a diagnosis is just looking for an excuse, or if that's my dad talking. Seriously, I was repeatedly told growing up that I was too bright to have any excuse for anything except a forever flawless performance.

It dawned on me at some point that kids don't normally get handed a fuckton of scantrons by shrinks and treated like a prize specimen or some shit, but I totally was. Dad was all about nurturing his brilliant son for a while there, and beat the fuck out of me when I started having problems.

What's more, it's begun to dawn on me that a LOT of people in my life seem to act like they know. My sister clearly knows. My parents have to know. People I hardly know seem to know. Folks even had me sent to therapy for all my weird sensory-motor shit.

I feel like I've been treated like a fucking idiot my whole life. I feel like I'm the only asshole out of the loop on this and people have deliberately kept me from knowing. Not the first family secret I was the only one oblivious to, but seriously, it's ME.

I don't even know what I'm asking for. Help.

>>16910587
First of all, you are probably NOT autistic. You are too self-aware and too able to read other people's nonverbal signals and guess what they're thinking. And inability to do that is at the very center of autism.

That is not to say that you aren't socially awkward or have some other mental/social problems. You've fallen into the logical trap that says "If A can sometimes lead to B, then all Bs must be caused by A"

Do see a school counselor, but not to prove/disprove a single theory. Be more open to a range of possibilities: "Here is a list of some of my characteristics. What, if anything, might be wrong with me?"

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>>16910982
>You are too self-aware and too able to read other people's nonverbal signals and guess what they're thinking
That's because of 22 years of hard work and a few years of acting lessons.

>That is not to say that you aren't socially awkward or have some other mental/social problems. You've fallen into the logical trap that says "If A can sometimes lead to B, then all Bs must be caused by A"
That's hardly the case. My thinking isn't half as linear as that. It's more the recognition of a pattern than anything.

It's not just that I'm socially awkward. I have issues with basic hygiene. It's tough for me to dress myself, I had the classic shit smears on the wall when I was a little kid, when I was WAY too old for that. Couldn't tie my shoes for the longest time. I pace constantly or just spin in circles when I'm thinking. My leg shakes constantly. I can't handle certain noises. Whistling hurts so badly and is so confusing that I want to scream and attack people, and I'll still fucking run if somebody starts whistling. I used to spend each car ride to school huddled into a ball with my ears plugged to not hear the radio, the gum chewing, or the singing, and in order to not see things moving in my peripheral vision. I still wear earplugs, ear protection for shooting guns (pic related 30 bucks at Home Depot), or headphones to drown out the noise, and I still block one eye with my bangs or my hands or a folder in class in order to avoid being overwhelmed visually. I even build folder forts to hunker down in. I can't stand light touch. Light stroking, tracing, brushing, tapping, etc. is agonizing to me, and often my own clothes will stop me in my tracks because I can feel them rubbing against my skin as I walk. I used to drive my folks nuts by cutting the seams out of all my socks,
(CONT)

>>16910576
some guys dont like blowjobs. i know because im one of them. they are really uncomfortable and can hurt. handjobs are okay if my gf doesnt pull too jard.

>>16910576
drugs

>>16910576
It may actually be a good sign. There are so many idiotic forces out there trying to get guys to think of sex as conquest and girls as prey to be caught and discarded, that the occasional sensitive guy begins to feel guilty about taking pleasure from sex without giving at least as much in return.

(Put another way, when everyone you grew up with told you that a blowjob was demeaning to the girl and proof of how much power you had over her, it can be hard to let a girl you really care about "degrade" herself that way.)

Convince him that you do what you do because you want to, that he couldn't get you to do something you didn't want to even if he tried, and that he gives you enough pleasure through what he does to you that he's not short-changing you by accepting some pleasure in return - and all will be well.