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How to learn to make jokes? Also, what should one do if one makes a joke and nobody laughs (eg there's an awkward silence)?
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Some people are naturally funny and some are not.
Being humorous is knowing how to read situations, people's personalities and noting the absurdity of the situation(s). Don't try to be funny you just gotta let it flow. If a joke you make falls flat, you just move on to the next situation.
If you're not a funny guy, don't worry about it, not everyone is funny.
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>>16943973
There are roughly two types of jokes; ones you memorize and recite, and situational humor you come up with on the fly. The former is easy, you just memorize some jokes. The latter takes a well exercised mind, you have to read and converse a lot.
If you want people to laugh at you you have to either be funny as hell or likeable and attractive. If you are ever in a situation where you tell a joke you know is lame and a girl laugh at it anyway, congratulations, she probably wants to fuck you.
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Hey /adv/
Planning to man up and ask a girl out I have been talking to for months now. I have gotten intel she likes me from an other friend. I'm planning to meet her tomorrow any advice lads?
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>>16943900
bee yourself
She already likes you
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>>16943900
Put your dick on her shoulder and piss in her bum.
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I want all tips on how to be a grade-A douche. I want to know how to fuck over people, but benefiting me. Like I don't want to just mess with people unless I get something out of it. I want to out manipulate people and make sure they understand I have the power. I want to be a d-bag without anyone knowing that I'm doing it on purpose. Give me some tips.
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>I want to out manipulate people and make sure they understand I have the power.
>I want to be a d-bag without anyone knowing that I'm doing it on purpose.
Those are completely opposite goals, stupid.
But most importantly, if you need to ask for advice you aren't cut out for being a manipulative asshole. Those are born, not made.
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>>16943735
I want them to know sub-consciously. You should interpret my phrase better. Do the work for me.
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I feel like I shouldn't smoke weed as regularly as I do but I can't think of a good reason not to besides vague ideas of where I want my life to be in 5 years.
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>>16943690
Smoke it up. Vape Nation is the way to go.
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Marijuana shrinks the hippocampus, the part of the brain where short-term memory is stored. As a result, people who smoke weed often have memory problems. It won't help you forget old memories like alcohol does but it will make hard for you to make new ones. So if you don't want to have early-onset Alzheimer's then stop smoking it. Or alternatively get an artificial hippocampus implant installed in your brain and smoke all the pot you want.
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/adv/, Im starting to realize I have a pretty big personality flaw that I need advice on how to fix:
I have been on and off with the same girl for almost four years. We had two break ups that lasted for about 4-6 months.
What I have found is when I am with her, I am happy, but I get so lazy and get this mindset of "whats the point of trying, I already have a girlfriend so I cant get other girls". Physically I lose motivation to workout (and eat like shit), and career wise I dont have as much drive.
However I have found when I am single, I get so damn motivated. I eat clean, lift weights, and work my ass off at my job to try and get promoted (and make dat $$).
I am currently not with her and miss her terribly. Originally I thought maybe she just isnt the right girl. Maybe the right girl will have me wanting to be extremely motivated for her. But after talking with other people, maybe this is just a huge personality flaw that I need to work out? or Immaturity?
I wish I could be with her and not feel like all the fun times are behind me. I want to be motivated and be with her...Any advice would be great. Im 25 y/o by the way.
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>>16943297
bump any help would be much appreciated
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Same position but 19 in uni... I love this girl but I'm so much more efficient without her. Idk man maybe we just need to better understand self motivation or some bullshit
Anonymous
Hey guys need quick advice 2016-03-21 22:15:12 Post No.16943191
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Hey guys need quick advice 2016-03-21 22:15:12 Post No.16943191
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Hey guys need quick advice
Anonymous
2016-03-21 22:15:12
Post No. 16943191
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>only had sex once
>horny af rn
>theres this girl that I'm not crazy into
>have jerked off to her pics before so I think I'd like to have sex with her
>but not completely sure
should I invite her over?
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>horny
>theres this girl
What are you waiting for anon?
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>>16943194
Here's the weigh in
Pros:
I get my dick wet
It's one more time I have sex so +exp.
Cons:
Not really into her (But I don't find her unattractive)
Anonymous
Anyone here ever attended a Wilderness/Boarding school before? 2016-03-21 21:48:16 Post No.16943122
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Anyone here ever attended a Wilderness/Boarding school before? 2016-03-21 21:48:16 Post No.16943122
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Anyone here ever attended a Wilderness/Boarding school before?
Anonymous
2016-03-21 21:48:16
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My older brother went to a Wilderness camp by accident four years ago and I think it still bothers him a lot. I don't want to make this post a fucking essay, but I will say with what happened I honestly blame myself for how he ended up going there. I've read more about the industry and I'm fucking furious that my brother had to tied to these lunatics.
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Could you elaborate some? I've heard of wilderness therapy, but it sounds like you're talking about something very different.
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>>16943269
You're thinking about the correct thing. His program must have been designed more as a boot camp though. I don't want my brother to kill himself because he's bottling in emotions.....
Anonymous
personal success stories?? 2016-03-21 21:40:22 Post No.16943096
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personal success stories?? 2016-03-21 21:40:22 Post No.16943096
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personal success stories??
Anonymous
2016-03-21 21:40:22
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tl;dr: please share your stories with me
I'm almost 25 and my life has only become worse ever since I hit puberty. I have uni problems and am high in debt (15k or so due to student loans). I'm still a virgin. Grew apart with all of my high school friends. We all live in different cities now. Didin't really have a circle of friends ever since highschool. Have no connections to my family except very few contacts with my parents.
I'm so lonely and anxious about my future. I've lost hope that life will get better - I wouldn't know how it could at this point. Can you guys and gals please share your success stories itt if your life at some point was equally shitty and you managed to get through it?? I would be really happy to hear your stories.
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Define "uni problems." Other than debt. You're not failing, are you? Because taking out student loans and then failing/dropping out is a bad combination. You need to finish your degree at all costs.
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>>16943096
28 here. Life sucked until a year ago. Ive even been homeless.
Dont feel like typing a story because im sick about to sleep and on a phone. I just promise you ive been through a fuck tonne and i want to leave you with this:
Life is totally random. It may suck for the rest of your life, it may not. We dont know. (not gonna sugar coat it with lies)
But if you actually try really hard and make sure you keep taking action to make it better, your momentum will always continue upward. Also perception is key. You can have everything and if you dont see it your life will be misery. You can have nothing but if you dont think of it everything will be fine.
Get off 4chan til its sorted though. Waiting for replies and hitting f5 sucks up a lot of very valuable time.
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I recently moved to a new area/working in the area. I go to the same places 1x a week for lunch. (I only eat out 2 days of the week).
Today one of the cashiers asked if I recently got hired in the area and that she sees me come in a lot. (like every day as she said). I replied only once a week. She then gave me a 25% discount.
1. Is it weird to go to the same place once a week for lunch
2.Why did I get a discount?
Was it "you're a regular discount" or a "I like you discount?" I don't want to read too much into it because I dont want to make things awkward for someone at work/at a place I frequent.
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>>16943078
>1. Is it weird
no
>2.Why did I get a discount?
Ask her if you can repay her discount by inviting her to coffee. If she accepts you are on date, if not than it is part of business.
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>>16943093
I have no game and I don't drink coffee...Why does dating have to be so hard?
Hey /adv/. Recently a friend of my family died, and so another friend was supposed to order shirts as like a memorial type of deal. Four months and no shirts, my mom called the place and apparently never even got the order. The friend fucked us over.
What can I do? My moms crying and I don't know.
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Was money exchanged?
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>my friend died and all I got was this lousy t-shirt
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Alright guys so I accidentally hit another car for the first time yesterday. It was nothing bad, in fact my car was completely unscathed, however it left a minor scratch on the rear bumper of the other car. I ended up giving me my license and insurance card and they filed a claim instantly. Where I think I started to mess up was when I didn't take a picture of the minor scratch or the license plate (Again, my first hit, I was very submissive). Is there a likelyhood that they will try to screw over my insurance if I did not do that? The rear bumper appeared to be a different material from the rest of the car, I assume the worst they can ask for is replacing the entire thing?
Also on the side note, this is how the situation went down (Also shown in pic):
>Car in front of me at stop sign
>Large opening
>He starts to inch forward and passes the line of the stop sign
>I decide it's time to make sure the opening stays and start to move forward by letting go of the breaks
>Suddenly stopped, hit the car
>He told me that he stopped because there was another car on the way that wasn't even on the lane that we were going to turn into
I'm still in the wrong, right? I mean it's my fault I made the assumption, just pisses me off that my first hit was for something so stupid.
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>>16942854
First your drawing skills are terrible.
Second your driving skills are not good enough yet :-D
>will they try to screw over my insurance?
That is what the insurance is for. To protect everybody on road from economical collapse.
It is your insurance's provider responsibility to prevent them claiming you destroyed whole car.
The only thing for you to change is that the next payment for car insurance will be higher. Also if you buy camera which records everything in front of your car can help in next car accident.
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>>16942937
Thank you for the info!
And yea I'll make sure to try to improve both skills
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I dot two Ds in 3 credit classes in my first year of uni. Am I completely fucked GPA-wise?
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No, unless you can't explain them.
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>First year of uni
There's plenty of time to fix your GPA. Quit feeling sorry for yourself and just do it.
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sometimes i am forced to communicate with family members, cousins,distant friends, people i haven't spoke to in years.
and everytime that happens i get bombarded with 1000 questions, questions that to be quite frank i don't feel comfortable answering, or quite frankly i don't even feel like talking to those people at all.
how do you manage those kind of situations?
i understand their point of view but i myself would not bombard anyone with questions because i know the feeling of discomfort when people that don't know you prob into your personal life
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>>16942566
easy answer: I don't give a shit what people think about my personal life.
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>>16942580
bullshit
Fuck, fuck, fuck. I got my annual blood sample results back and turns out I have Cytomegalovirus IgG. Should I be worried? Please respond, I'm scared to death...
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>>16942372
No, don't be worried. Loads of people have cmv without even realizing it.
Blood donations are screened for cmv because some groups of patients paediatric patients, the immune compromised, etc.) require confirmed cmv negative products. But cmv positive blood is not hazardous for other groups of patients.
Don't stress. You'll be fine.
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>>16942385
Thank God. I was getting worried but now that I'm reading more about it, it says it's very common and doesn't do anything besides fucking the baby up during pregnancy if the mother has it. I don't have any birth defects, so I guess I got this after birth.
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Okay so I fucked up. I failed to drop these classes (3 courses, second semester) and so I'm now going to have three failing grades.
And I wanted to go to graduate school, am I super fucked? Or will I just have to start working really working really hard (fine with that, if anything)
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Oftentimes you can withdraw from the class. You'll probably still have to pay for them though unless you can claim special needs or something.
In CA a W is like an F except it has no effect on your gpa so they don't really know why you didn't finish the class. They just know you didn't finish it.
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if it's too late to withdraw from the classes, you'll probably have to retake them. the uni i went to allowed three retakes of a class, keeping the highest grade, so see what your options are?