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I am a straight man, Im a self admitted normie. socially awkward but none the less I have never had problems getting laid. About a year ago I gave up on women, tried gay stuff and it turns out im a huge faggot, and after a year of dating men... I have given up on them as well.
so I came to you guys
I want a robot, I am certain the only thing I need to be happy is to have someone be there... thats pretty much it. I get attached easily and had strong emotions for any woman ive slept with. I figure if all it takes for me to be happy is having someone there... than I should find someone who would want the same. I want the loneliest most isolated (not by choice) guy on here to talk to me, I want to be your friend and I want to make you feel special. This is what has made me happy and I dont think that will change. I dont care what you look like, you just have to be hygienic and clean.
My Ideal partner is
>male
>hairy
>tall
>semi fat muscle or even just kind of fat
>has a job
>doesnt care if i have a job
>has a small cute dick I can fit in my throat
>likes my big peen
>doesnt make me work
>lets me play video games all day
>cuddles
>keeps me safe and warm
>showers once a day or more
I came close once but it was with a woman and she got tired of me not having a job
I dont want to work... I just wanna stay out of the way and help if I can but if u work u die
my throwaway is
[email protected]
inb4 normie
im aware of this
inb4 you wont find it here
there are plenty of lonely people on here
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how do ytou feel about traps?
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>>34040646
Well, traps would be ideal in most cases, since I like women and small penises.
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>>34040129
How old are you, anon? I'm not planning to add you I just wonder.
>I dont want to work
She was right to dump you desu. I hate selfish neets like you.
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>tfw BMI increased to 17
feels good
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>tfw my BMI is 16
who else skeletal here
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>>34040110
damn that image has a pretty intersesting news story with it
http://www.todayonline.com/singapore/someone-bringing-coffin-wedding-han-hui-hui-trial-begins
you from Singapore OP?
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>>34040110
Thought that was Eliza based on the thumbnail.
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guys help, i have become bald.
What do i need to do to get my hair and my 9/10 gf back?
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shave your head completely or leave less than half an inch of hair. and grow a beard
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Wait, didn't you already get your hair back?
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>>34040014
bald guys with caps are cool
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What do you think of /pol/s guide to a happy life with a happy wife?
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>>34039981
Fuck /pol/
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>>34040013
>MFW I know you can't say the guide is wrong
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>>34039981
It's accurate, I hope I can get a wife like this one day and raise beautiful aryan children
>>34040013
Fuck you
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BPD anon here, anyone know how I could shake the feeling of being unworthy of my current SO? I seriously feel like crying all the time because I feel like they are only with me out of pity. I'm not bad looking, but my mental instability is a bitch to deal with I'm sure. Also, how undateable would you consider someone with BPD to be?
21 Posts / 2 Images
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>Also, how undateable would you consider someone with BPD to be?
One and only relationship was to a girl with BPD.
Never ever again. Ruined relationships entirely for me, can never trust again.
Do the world a favour and end urself
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>>34039956
I'm going to therapy and shit currently to not be such a shit person. Were they trying to improve themselves? I want to be good for this person. I am their first relationship. I fucked up a couple months into when we first started talking, we were distanced from each other and we have rekindled.
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>>34039932
>you think you're lonely and unloved, but you're not and you're just whoring.
>you think to bother people, but you're just too selfish to start a conversation with them.
choose very few people and care about them. if you pretend to have nobody you will be delude anyone who discover the truth.
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Who else are handlet here?
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7.4 inch 19cm for non-retards.
Propably not.
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>>34039960
Pretty big desu
I SAID HANDLET REEEE
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>>34039982
I measured with a 15cm ruler, remeasure for more accuracy coming soon.
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On a scale of one to ten, how jelly are you of normies?
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>>34039802
thats a shitty crop
make ur browser window smaller before screenshotting
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>>34040371
Someone lost at fifa 17
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>>34039802
not even going to bother reading your shitty screencap, kill yourself
Anonymous
This is her hair scrunchy 2017-01-10 02:57:24 Post No.34039801
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This is her hair scrunchy 2017-01-10 02:57:24 Post No.34039801
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This is her hair scrunchy
Anonymous
2017-01-10 02:57:24
Post No. 34039801
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This belongs to a girl who I am completely obsessed with and the smell radicating off it is just orgasmic. I have masturbated to this shit, I am 100% in LOVE with her. I want her to be my woman so so so badly that it isnt even funny.
In early december we went out and by god we had the best time ever. We ordered the same food, laughed and talked like a social couple and even among the other couples there we looked like we had the best time. So great in fact that we stayed till the restuarant owner said he was leaving and locking up.
She doesnt know how deeply rooted into her I am. Im starting a company soon and shes the first to congradulate me and tell me how well im doing.
She knows im a very very good man but I guess she still isnt ready for me yet and turns me down cause she is focused on her career paths.
I just want to make sweet passionate sex with her and raise a family with her. I know all her baby names she wants for her kids. I take notes everytime we talk on the phone. I watch shows she watches so conversation stays great.
My god I am infatuated with her on every possible level.
Am I crazy or is this pure undiluted love.
I want her to be my women
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>>34039801
>the smell radicating
lol
tl;dr
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>>34039801
OP you are absolutely fucking nuts
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>a very very good man
yes, you are.
Anonymous
high school cringe memories 2017-01-10 02:56:31 Post No.34039792
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high school cringe memories 2017-01-10 02:56:31 Post No.34039792
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high school cringe memories
Anonymous
2017-01-10 02:56:31
Post No. 34039792
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>tfw u had to be an sjw for a school project
16 Posts / 7 Images
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>the word retard is grounds for a week suspension in high school now
Feel bad for my brothers desu
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>>34039792
>mfw I have to be a sjw for a project
>mfw I always do it ironically
I'm pretty sure teachers don't really read projects
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>tried to do the Itachi head poke to my weeb one-i-itis
>straight in the eye
Anonymous
Looks, Money and Status 2017-01-10 02:52:54 Post No.34039741
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Looks, Money and Status 2017-01-10 02:52:54 Post No.34039741
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Pic related: one of the founders of Google
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>>34039741
I never understood people who are incredibly rich like that only have average looking gf's.
My best friend who works as a janitor making 9 dollars an hour at 28 has a 10/10 girlfriend who works for a fortune 500 company. I just don't get this.
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>>34039794
You can't pick who you fall in love with, dumbass. You just do.
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>>34039794
Not everyone has a 9 inch cock to tame bitches with
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ok, femwhores, this is what men want. why are you STILL fat?
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>>34039622
shes too skinny, now kys
KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS
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>>34039622
Fat fetishists
THICC threads in disguise!
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>>34039622
>skinny chicks
i'm fine with that.
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what happens if a trap gets pregnant in the boipussi?
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>>34039580
A baby cannot grow inside a man's guts.
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>>34039580
They get a prescription for laxatives
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It's a double trap. A woman who looks like a man who looks like a woman
have you ever waffle stomped?
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>>34039555
robots are generally gross so i thought at least one of them would reply
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>>34039555
Had to Google it
Sounds disgusting and subhuman, is it some kind of fetish or autism?
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>>34039555
I've done that to an ex, shit down the drain (pipe makes a right about 4 inches in plus she had that filter thing). It was funny hearing her complain about the shower reeking for a week.
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What's with all the lesbians in California?
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>>34039530
3d filmed porn is very rarely viewed by women
most women read written porn, some are into yaoi or anime-styled gay fanart in general (not uncommonly furry)
so pornhub results will show a completely unrepresentative sample of the female population
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>colorado
>anal
Legal weed and the girls like anal? I think I'm moving there.
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fyi "female friendly" or "female choice" means bbc cuckoldry shit on most sites.
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I don't get it why people say this is a toxic place. What are you, a child that some bad environment fucks you up? You are what you are...
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>>34039500
>What are you, a child that some bad environment fucks you up?
LITERALLY yes
I wasn't built for these tough times
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>>34039500
it is a toxic place, now kill yourself
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I don't think /r9k/ is all that much more toxic than most other message boards that are comparably moderated.
More heavily moderated boards probably do have more polite posters.