Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 543. page

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It's time for the daily "hOw dO i tAlK tO gIrLs" thread.

But in all seriousness, I need some pointers. The only people I've ever texted for 6 years are my close friends and family. There's this girl I really like that I'm talking to on a dating app, and I feel like I'm constantly tripping over myself. I'm really good to talking to new people in real life, but in texting, since you can't gauge things like body language and voice tone, it's waaaay harder. So do you anons have any pointers on texting new people (particularly women)?

Also, she's quite introverted, for what that's worth.

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Short story. Mid-30s, loser, live with mom, no gf etc etc. Not autistic or anti-social in any way, just the ultimate failed normie with a lot of Neuroticism, shyness and anxiety.

I am at a point in my life where it really is now or never. If I don't get my shit together now, at this late stage, I will never salvage anything from life and my latter years are going to be utter hell.

I know exactly what I need to do. I just can't do it. I know that sounds ridiculous but I honestly feel paralysed by my ego. I am becoming more aware of the separate facets of my personality, sometimes horribly self-pitying and defeatist, other times gung-ho. The controlling elements of my psyche are becoming more pronounced and extreme as I desperately struggle to fucking do something about my situation. The frustration is unbearable at times, my anger levels are getting out of control. This week I poured a whole glass of water over my head then smashed the glass. I smashed a mug on the floor, I punch a chair so hard my hand is cut and bruised. I slap myself around the face and punch my head. I'm losr control temporarily and then regain composure and become lethargic and apathetic to the point I can't be bothered to physically move my body.

I know this probably sounds pathetic and hilarious at the same time. I'm not looking for sympathy, its the last thing I need. But I don't know where else to turn. I just need some objective advice on how to get a damn grip and how to face my fucking fears. The negative voice in my head just ruins everything, it always has. I begged God for help many times but I'm not a Christian and I don't have any real faith. I'm just desperate

Can anyone help me?

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So I've been single for quite a while and I think I developed some porn addiction which lowered my sexual performance. Yesterday I get laid but...
Girl came twice but I couldn't finish and now she is very anxious about it. I've read that fixing my brain dopamine tracks can take up to six weeks. Should I tell her?
How fucked I am?
Is there any way to rewire my brain/body to work normal again faster than six weeks?

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I kmow this situation is kind of childish and a bit naive, but it bever happened to me until today:

>use tinder just for fun, no pics&description
>found someone cure, don t remember if I swepped left or right, found her on fb by her first and last name.
>create a new tinder account after 1-2 months
>can t find the same person
>using my facebook messenger app I wrote to her (who I was, a bit of description, 5 photos (decent, nothing else, Im not that type..)
>pressed "add to messenger"
>see the blue checkmark with round circle (not filled)
>wait (I wrote at 7 in the morning today)
>at 10 can t see the message on desktop, but on messenger yes.
>she blocked me, she didn t even read the message or saw my pics.
>I don t have any pics of me on fb for privacy reasons (and because a incident back then...)

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I met a really special girl. The circumstances in which we met and the experiences we had in a brief time has made us bond like I've never experienced before. Last year when we met I had a gf. This year when we met again she has a bf now. We both believe in relationships (we are sort of morally conscious) and dont like cheating so we just stare deeply into each others eyes and sort of laugh and there is always this tension between us.

I already had some good and bad relationships. There are things you know in life and things you dont. I know I want to spend my life with her or alone. I just know it. I don't care if I have to wait some years. I'm not asking for advice to back off and forget her. Life is too short not to love her. I'm asking advice on how to be patient and gradually/slowly build a relationship.
Because of my job I know masterpieces take time and dedication and I want our relationship to be a masterpiece (not perfect, with flaws, but a masterpiece).
How can I be patient, how can I soothe my feelings and keep the flame between us?
I need some comforting words. I even thought about starting to pray for her. Yes, the same fucker that hasnt gone to church for the past 7 years. Thats how important is she for me.

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I shake a lot normally but it was really bad for this.

I had serious adrenaline going on through out to the point it was unpleasant.

Even during sex I was struggling to get into it because of nerves.

This is coming off of a near 4 year dry spell but I still have never felt nerves like that ever before.

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A friend that I've sort of had a thing for, and who seemed to have a thing for me, doesn't seem to want to hang out with me anymore after he looked up a blood disorder that I have. He seemed super nice and eager to hang out but then he asked me about the disorder and right after he looked it up online he seemed strange and then just stopped contacting me and when I tried to ask him to hang out he made it seem like it would be too difficult to coordinate something. I feel like crap now. This blood disorder causes me enough problems but for something like this to happen just really makes me upset. I used to try to be secretive about the disorder because I knew the symptoms are not the most flattering, but that became too stressful and I ended up losing my job because I was having trouble with it and didn't tell anyone until it was too late. I guess I really don't know what to do now. He seemed to want to hang out almost weekly before, but not anymore...

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I've always been a confident person. Not afraid to go out and do stuff, a real extrovert. But lately I've changed.
My mindset, not really. I will force myself to do things and such no matter what. But I've become more shy or idk. Like I can't control it. Now, whenever I'm about to go talk to a crush or in front of a huge audience of people, I shake. My heartrate sky rockets. I wish it wasn't like this. I can't control it at all and it makes me so upset. I wanna be who I was before. Do I just keep placing myself out there and hope it will pass? Do I talk to a professional? Is this anxiety or am I just self diagnosing? I'd appreciate any advice.
Pic unrelated

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Not much of a problem. But I do need advice from more experienced people.

I smoked weed less than 10 times in my life and all have been minor smoke-outs. I don't smoke cigarrets so it is worse.

I want to smoke weed without any stress, but last time I did I took a shitty trip because I took too much.

I want to know how do I find out how much is too much when smoking weed, I want to know how many puffs to take as a beginner and any general advice. I just want to do this relaxed, not thinking that I will vomit later.

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Hey /adv/, I can't say I've been here in a while, but here goes.

I've been having some emotional issues lately because I have a really difficult time showing my emotions.
a couple of years ago I was dating a woman who passed away due to cancer and since the night she passed away I haven't been able to let out my sadness or frustration.
Lately I occasionally feel like I'm just randomly about to start crying but I can't get myself to just let it out without feeling supported (like being held and comforted) but I don't feel like I'm close enough to the women I know to ask for something like that.I'm almost positive that finally letting out all of the bottled up emotions would make me feel so much better than I have been but I just can't do it.

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Met a friend's next door neighbour a few days back and she a qt, any good excuses to get her number?

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Hey /adv/. Long story short, I'm 19, spent pretty much all my teen years being a NEET, it's a long story I don't wanna get into. Surprisingly, it didn't socially cripple me that bad, I have some pretty bad anxiety and depression, but I can still hold a decent conversation and people constantly laugh when I'm talking and talk about how funny I am. It's a miracle, honestly. Anyway, there's a guy I'm into at work.

>will invite me alone to take a break with him
>i confided something personal to him and he said he was the same way and then invited me to hang out with him outside work
>did something with me that he said he only does for girls
>mentioned his girlfriend once to someone when they said we'd make a cute couple, and then when i brought it up when he did the just for girls thing, he said he wasn't sure she was right for him

Do you think he might be into me? Or at least, considering me? I don't really have dating experience, so I don't know how this whole thing works. I've been fighting with the idea of romantic feelings for a while, but I'm starting to realize that I'm really starting to like him a whole lot.

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I don't know where to post this, I just feel like I need to verbalize it because I've never been able to tell anyone and I don't know how to cope. I turned 25 yesterday. This happened last New years.

I am a really big animal lover, I had this dog that was 17 years old. I had a gf of 2 years that was going through a terrible fight with me, easily our worst. It basically came down to these events:

> I wanted us to spend new years eve at home with my dog, the year before with her was the first time I didn't and I wanted to make sure this year it happened
> She agreed, then a week before new years changed her mind. It also happens to be her bday, she wanted to go to a club.
> I said no and was pretty upset that she went back on her plans, she was upset that I wasn't okay with doing what she wanted to do on nye aka her bday etc.
> The fight about the bday led to the examination of our entire relationship, she wants to live in another city, i dont go places with her enough etc. The kinds of things that when we're OK are all good, but when theres a problem the differences between us come up. Eventually I told her I apologized for not wanting to do what she wanted on her bday and if we can still do the club thing, we should and I would be happy to
> The most heated point of the fight came from that, after a week of fighting, essentially leading to how I come around to things too late, we don't live together because i didnt agree in time (before her friend moved out here), she doesnt even want to live in this city, etc.

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how do you break the touch barrier on a date?

had my first date the other day, just a limp hug at the end and I went home feeling like a pile of shit, even though the date was actually really enjoyable. Not looking to fug her, just want to get closer..

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Should I stay up all night to reset my sleep schedule? For the past month or two, I've been going to bed early in the morning and sleeping until the afternoon. It's 4:30 AM here now. I'm on break from uni now, so it isn't a big problem, but I'd like to fix my life.

What repercussions would I face for doing this too often? How do I discipline myself to go to sleep at appropriate hours without spending another few at the computer?