What am i looking to do this year?
im asking since i have a new start going to a new school so i figured might as well.
How the fuck are we supposed to know your goals and aspirations?
Are you trying to be more popular, get a girl, or what?
And is this college or high school
A girl (7/10) from my hometown started following me on IG, we've never talked before but I've seen her around.
A few days later she hearts a lot of my pics (I only have about 2dz pics there) even the oldest ones.
Few more days forward she sends me a direct 'hi'. I tried to make conversation with her and she'd respond but not ask me anything back.
A week after I started conversation with her and she'd respond fast-ish (3-5min) even tho I was taking like (15-20m) to reply.
Anyway she answers me but asks nothing back. What does it mean, /adv/? How do I move this forward?
I'll probably be back home in a couple months so I'd like to set something up.
Call her? Or ask her questions?
She feels like you're leaving her hanging and just wasting her time. Ask her out somewhere, go eat.
>>18619496
That's the thing, she started contact but then is very unresponsive when I ask her things. It's not like if I'm just saying "hi what's up?" over and over. I ask about things in common or comment something about her pics.
She gives me good answers (not just 'yes'/''ok"/'no') but never asks nothing back...
>>18619498
She's in my hometown and I'm like 500mi away I'll be back there in November for a few months. As I said I just wanted to build a bit of a relationship and just find it a bit odd she would show interest but then go cold.
Maybe she's a bit autistic, IDK.
My new bf has a lot of anxiety about my long term ex. I've heard talking about exs is never ok and it means you're not over them.
To comfort him should I:
Compair his directly?
"Wow you're so much hotter than my ex"
Compair him indirectly?
"You're the hottest guy I've ever been with"
Insult my ex?
"My ex was such a loser"
Compliment my bf?
"Your such a great person"
I give compliments all the time but it doesn't really help his confidence at all. Any other options or suggestions?
>>18619474
Avoid talking down about your ex or being really blatant about "you're so much better" comments. It tends to sound insincere,and it makes you seem like the kind of person who would say the same things about him if you break up with your current bf, too.
Just avoid bringing him up entirely, and be as affectionate and attracted to your current guy as you can.
OK I've been that guy.
Don't compare him unless you're telling the truth.
There's no need to insult your ex.
Compliments aren't really what he needs.
Is there any reason he might not trust you, or think he's inadequate? Is this a relationship with an expiration date?
Could you give a little more info on what he seems insecure about?
>>18619474
Act like you hate even mentioning or talking about your ex. Don't mention him at all.
I'm fucking going crazy /adv/, I've been staring at myself for an hour wondering how a girl somehow found me attractive
>>18619463
There has to be something going for you. Just think about it.
Also, while being self-aware is good, it can get to an unhealthy point. You should learn when to draw between constructive self-criticism and paranoia.
A lot of people think they're uglier than they actually are. I've been flirted with fromgirls and had dudes tell me I'm hot, but I still don't really believe it either. People's eyes are different from yours, everyone sees you differently so think about that.
>>18619479
I feel like this too, I have no idea how anyone would find me good looking. After all, I don't find myself attractive, but I still have girls hitting on me
I guess people who have less self confidence see themselves uglier
I have a psychologist, who disproves of my marijuana habits. I told her it's hard for me to go a day without smoking, without feeling angry/ and or depressed towards people. I still buy weed, because I'm so bored with myself, and my friends smoke. I feel like I've become this miserable brat that wakes up at 1pm near crumpled cum tissues, and looks at memes all day. I hate having to sneak out of my basement to smoke away from my parents. I hate driving 40 minutes, so my friend can help me pickup 2g's, then have to end up 1 because his homophobic wigger friends want to roll a blunnttt daawwwwwgg. The school year is going to raise my tendency to smoke, because I will be away from my parents, and all these issues, but I'm not happy or healthy.
They say if you don't smoke for a week you can physically/mentally feel a difference and it becomes easier to quit just that one week is hard.
Dunno if it's true but if you can tough it out for a day then thats a start, don't end up 29 still smoking weed and living off your folks. Start doing something productive during that week even if its cleaning your cum stained bedroom.
>>18619443
You're bored because you're not doing anything with your life. There's a load of boards on 4chan alone that cater to a fuckton of hobbies, pick one that sounds good and will get you up off your ass - /out/, /fit/ and /lit/ would be the least degenerate of your options.
Look dude i'm 23 years old and smoked weed for 5 years straight nearly everyday.
I left my social and dating life for weed and video games.
If you value social and dating life and you feel weed is impacting these then thats probably what is happening.
For me it took hitting rock bottom to quit. Left my job and everything.
4-5 days sober now.
I suggest you quit right now if you feel weed is in the way of the stuff you really want to do.
It only gets worse.
I'm gunna try and kill two birds with one stone here. I'm 16 and about to be a JR in high school but I just recently entered a relationship over the summer break. I sensed this from the start but didn't have the courage to say anything, but I don't feel like we have en emotional connection that a proper relationship should have. there's tons of awkward silences and all we really do is watch netflix when she comes over and I tickle her in sensitive places (literally her stomach and the back of her thighs, nothing sexual) to sooth the tention and awkwardness. We've been together for about 3 week and I feel like if I dump her then it will have wasted her time.
On the same matter, another reason I think she isn't really digging the relationship is because she's gone a lot farther with guys than I have. She's lost her virginity and done a ton with one of her exes and it's something I'm not really ready to give up without proper time and dedication. But that's the issue. I'm just a giant fucking pussy that can never make a move and bitches about it when things so go right in my mind. Any thoughts on the general situation or about confidence boosting?
Just try to take it casual. It doesn't have to be a serious relationship, just try to have fun and speak to her about this shit.
Take a chill pill my dude, get yourself out there, there's a whole world of experiences waiting for you. Also fake it til you make it.
Also sorry I'm new to 4chan so I'm not sure how to make a correct reply, but should I break up with her? I feel like she doesn't enjoy it either but I can't read her mind.
>>18619488
Aight my dude here's what I would do, I would talk this shit out with her, you two are both people with feelings and sometimes you need to have this conversations. Do you really want a serious relationship right now? Does she? Speak what's on your mind son.
Also don't worry about experience. Everything has its moment my dude.
P.S. Everything will be fine.
My cousin is over for the next few days. We're very close to each other and both around the same age (I'm 18, he's 16). Our interests have diverged over time though. He's into snowboarding and I'm into politics. We have good talks, but right now we're both bored and on our phones, waiting to get high tomorrow. What can we do for fun?
>>18619431
If you have to ask how to have fun on 4chan then I'm afraid you're doomed anon. My apologies.
>>18619431
>He's into snowboarding and I'm into politics
I bet you think you're mature for your age for being interested in politics.
>>18619431
Seems u wanna bang ur cousin
I was scraping dried boogers off the wall and it got caught under my nail and stabbed me. I've tried digging it out but I'm bleeding and it's coming out gooey instead of dry. Am I gonna get infected?
So this Sarahah thing going around. Its great. I've been going around to random people's feeds and pointing out the best things I see in people or saying ridiculous shit for a giggle. Seems to be well received, and I like that they will never know who I am.
I left a message on the feed of a girl I met a while back. We worked together for a day and had some chemistry, and sometime over the following couple days we connected on social media but neither one of us has sent a word to the other since. Been a couple months. She legit seems like a chill person I'd be down to see again, but the window to say "hey its me" seems passed.
She posted my comment and said "If this is you message me :)"
Do people really want people from interactions like this coming out of the woodwork? If I put myself in her shoes I think it would be kind of creepy, like why this person seeing my feed but not saying anything to me ever? Stalker status
I showed up at my new job for a three-hour orientation, and instead they put me to hard work for nine hours.
Should I be worried? Is this a sign I should leave?
>>18619377
It's called a job. And at jobs, you work. imagine that.
So, basic roomate problems. We have 5 people in a nice house, all around 25-27ish. My bfs family owns the house, but we all pay rent like normal. We collect the rent and send it off each month, even if the others are late on their share.
So, since it's summer we've been having ac wars, bc 3 of us actually care and want to save money, but the couple that lives with us probably dont give two shits about it so they leave it super cold during the day and night (central air) even though we have clg fans and other kinds of fans in all our rooms and I've asked them countless of times to be better about it which thet ignore. Its also fucking freezing for the rest if us. Ive actually closed the airvents in our room.
These past two months, the elec bill has been pretty much TWICE, than it's ever been. The girl of the couple is to blame mostly bc she ignores everyone and "can't take conflict" (brings up issues from a year ago, brings up problems we dont even know about from months ago, dodges blame,etc.) They even tried to blame our other nice roomate for the spike since he just got a gf and is over sometimes ( they both dont touch the ac bc drama) Ive seen her and she is the sweetest most considerate thing.
The ac running all day at an insane temp is what's been causing this, so i was thinking of making them pay the difference of the average of what we all usually pay (about 40 more $ a month is what we calculated for them to pay). Does that sound reasonable? What do you all think if this?
Everyone I've talked to says to kick them out which is really what I'm feeling like. I like them as people,but they're super inconsiderate about that stuff.
>>18619348
Try talking to them, with real words? Don't just ask them nicely, tell them you're gonna fucking kick them out if they don't fall in line. It's that simple. Say "stop fucking with the AC, or find a new place to live". It's your house, you don't have to put up with bullshit
>>18619367
The problem though is that we've been friends for quite a while, and countless shared friends. I'm afraid of this causing a rift of "who's side to take"
>>18619348
Boy oh boy don't get me started on this subject. I'm a single man living with two slightly older girls and they are both irresponsible and at the same time absolutely helpless. They were alone with the house while I went out of town for a week, not even two days into the trip they start blowing up my phone about how the AC isn't working. When I got back sure enough the house was above 80 but what they didn't tell me is that after I left they lowered the temperature too much too suddenly and froze the coolant. Anyway they didn't have to pay for it since utilities and all that but then point is you have to be assertive with uncooperative roommates that cost everyone more money. If you don't want to kick them out yet you and the others have to band together and lay down the rules for the couple otherwise they're gonna keep doing whatever they want. You should tell them exactly what you posted, "you're costing the rest of us money by being irresponsible with the thermostat and if you don't stop we're going to charge you with the bill." If they resist you can all sit down and discuss a good temperature to keep the thermostat on. If you have to buy a lockbox. And if they still don't want to respect the rules of the house then that's can be considered a breach of contract and wouldn't be grounds for them to vacate. Hope this helps.
I'm weak. I feel afraid and somewhat trapped.
This January my abusive ex gf broke up with me and left me more depressed than I had ever been in my life. I got put on new meds, started feeling miraculously better. Then by chance I meet this chubby chick on Tinder. We hit off and I think she's the best person I've ever met.
For some reason no matter how good it looked on paper, after a few weeks, I started feeling very numb and detatched. I slowly started taking myself off depression meds to see if it would help.
Then suddenly in May my ex contacts me out of the blue. It's a whirlwind of emotions. I manage to shrug her off with the help of my new gf, but I just can't get her out of my mind. A month later, I lose control and try to date my ex again; I realized my mistake when she made me so anxious and afraid that I became physically violently ill. My new gf, though she was badly hurt, supported me through all of this.
Since then, things got better, then worse, then better again, but it has never been the same. I've realized that now, instead of dating a psychopathic, narcissistic lying cunt, I'm dating a possibly bi-polar woman-child who acts like she's 13. She's so sweet, kind, and understanding, but she just can't get her shit together and keeps falling apart. I've lost almost all interest in her yet I can't bring myself to leave her. What the hell do I do? I'm afraid of being alone again. I'm afraid of not being good enough for the kind of woman I want to fall in love with, and I'm afraid of the shadow of my past clouding my future. I'm so hurt when I see people all around me getting something I wish I could have. Help me, anons.
I've re-downloaded Tinder but I can't get myself to open it...
>>18619314
You can't keep your shit together and you think you deserve better than a nice girl who sometimes has emotional episodes? She gave you compassion when you tried to date someone else and you can't give her the same in return? I say, break up with her because she deserves someone who appreciates her.
>>18619314
You should work on yourself before actually being in a relationship. Sure date other people. Dont get into a relationship until youre over your ex & know what you want.. Dont get into a relationship until youre more sure of yourself. Look at yourself as a foundation (like a buildings foundation) you & that other person build from each other. Your current relationship sounds toxic. Only you can suck it up & either fix it or leave.
>>18619321
It's a lot, lot more than just that. I should have put in more detail.
I have ADD, she has very very severe ADD. Her bedroom is completely destroyed (carpey ruined, huge holes in walls, shit strewn everywhere), she has virtually no money, is almost always at odds with her family, and has constant issues related to the above or to anxiety/depression. I have done a LOT for her and her parents. I have helped her get her room clean, I've encouraged her to be healthy and start saving money, I have spent TONS of money on her and done many, many things for her; and nothing changes.
I'm moving forward in life. I'm generally more confident in myself, I'm learning computer science to have a great career, and a lot of the time I feel very comfy in life. Every once in a while though, I break down like this. I've had much, much worse, I'm just asking for advice because I don't know where to go from here.
You're also right, though. She deserves someone stronger who is willing to really carry her through all of her issues. I just don't have the strength to keep doing things for her. It's a very one-sides relationship. She deserves someone I guess that isn't so bothered by her flaws.
Is it wrong to consider breaking up with my gf due to her libido? I love her but she's the once a month type and I'm ridiculously sexual, I'm like a fucking horny bonobo.
Not really weird. Sex is a vital part of any relationship my dude.
No, there's nothing inherently wrong with it. Sexual intercourse is a part of any relationship, if you're not moderately sexually satisfied then you're in a dysfunctional relationship. Either tell her you need more pussy from her, ask for an open relationship, or leave her. Fucking others without her consent is cheating, and that is douchey, so please don't do that.
>>18619295
Just bad chemistry.. Gotta find someone with better sexual chemistry. Talk to her about it & see where it goes..
How can you tell if a girl is giving you *that* look?
>>18619293
That look is always a fake.
>>18619311
Speak for yourself, kid. Just because you can't get laid doesn't mean the rest of us can't.
>>18619293
You establish visual contact and touch her vagina. If it's wet, she's giving you "that" look.
How do I move somewhere downtown of a nice place near the ocean that has hot chicks amusement parks public transit