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Enjoy your 10.67 microsecond lunch break, wagecuck.
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>>35856768
Thanks, it's an hour and I'll be going to Arbys.
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>tfw boss won't let me take a break today because I spilled my cum cubes over the floor yesterday
Just fucking kill me, or wait I think my boss saw me using my phone! Looks like it might be over lads, I'll post an update if I survive.
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>tfw boss caught me masterbating for the 3rd time this week
I don't think I have much longer lads, this is how people get fired
Anonymous
STUPID FUCKING NERDS!! 2017-03-28 04:06:57 Post No.35856761
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STUPID FUCKING NERDS!! 2017-03-28 04:06:57 Post No.35856761
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i bet you losers would do literally anything for even a smell of my farts i bet you'd drink my pee and eat my shit. id bet you want to be dominated and destroyed. disgusting. you freaks make me sick. well here. something for you to jerk you're nasty lil cocks to. (pic related is me <3), fucking losers you better appreciate this.
6 Posts / 2 Images
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>>35856761
go kill yourself, retarded waste of space
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>>35856761
if anything i was turned on until you said that that stupid bald face is you.
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>>35856862
he was just born with a high forehead whats your deal. as long as he has hair on the crown area he is not bald
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Can you spank your girlfriend if she behaves badly?
42 Posts / 6 Images
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I spank her regardless.
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>>35856673
Well she likes some light spanking during sex, but the rough stuff is reserved for the gimp.
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>>35856673
yeah i can
origoonaligalogoogo
Anonymous
Are eyebags the #1 sign someone is a robot? 2017-03-28 03:57:36 Post No.35856632
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Are eyebags the #1 sign someone is a robot? 2017-03-28 03:57:36 Post No.35856632
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Are eyebags the #1 sign someone is a robot?
Anonymous
2017-03-28 03:57:36
Post No. 35856632
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I have them permanently t. genetics and normies ask about them all the time and tell me I need more sleep.
38 Posts / 9 Images
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I sit in the dark (windows covered) so when I do finally go outside once in a bluemoon people see my eyes and ask why I'm so tired. That's how you can tell the fake robots from the real ones, look at their eyes.
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The eye bags combined with my strange disposition has caused a number of people to assume I was on drugs. I've never touched drugs, stop assuming I'm a pothead REEEEEEEE
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>>35856632
I've always perceived people with eyebags as more "raggedy" in a good way. Mine look very familiar to pic related
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Story Time
>be me, senior year at high school
>keep to myself mostly, almost no friends
>one day this black kid transfers to my class
>He's a real person so just for safety I'm gonna call him by his surname, King
>King seems like a pretty cool guy
>We hang out together, shoot the shit
>His father's some rich producer so he's pretty loaded, but acts normal about it
>One day we go to his place to play some Street Fighter
>His Dad and Sister are there
>His dad is a big ass Nigger, like 6"0 tall Wardrobe-looking motherfucker, named Dekrim
>He approaches me and gives me a big hug, apparently King doesn't have that many friends and he's glad he's socializing
>We have dinner at his place when I spot his sister
>Now I know blacks have a reputation on 4chan, but she was a 9/10 nigress
>time passes
>we graduate and go to the same college
>Dekrim buys King and his sister a house for them to live in now that they're adults
>Big ass place, even has a garden in the middle, one of those Italian-style houses
>Throughout the new year I talk more and more to King's sister
>She actually starts to like me while I weep for that glorious ass
>Feel a bit guilty about it though, her being King's sister and all
>One day sleep at King's place
>Go to garden late at night because I couldn't sleep
>King's sis is there in her underwear
>Couldn't resist and made out
>Best sex on Earth
>Feel really guilty about it though
>Never really thought I would lose my virginity in the court of Dekrim's Son, King.
7 Posts / 2 Images
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>>35856628
>6"0 tall
>big
kek
I don't get the joke, pls explain
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>>35856628
Please kill yourself you fucking nigger
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Damnit I tried to figure out what the punchline would be as soon as I saw "Dekrim"
Not bad
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ITT: Red Flags
>she attends college
Women literally learn nothing in college except how to gape their asshole with fifty nigger dicks.
8 Posts / 2 Images
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>>35856597
>Women literally learn nothing in college...
I know a good red flag:
>he is an immature man child
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Khan Academy couldn't teach her the difference between thought and taught
orgienal
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>she's a woman
Avoid at all costs
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I feel bad for gen Z'ers, only the lowest tier subhumans will be hooking up with each other, most of you will die with a crippling emptiness in your hearts because you all hired hookers at 20 and no decent women will ever trust you.
Like god damn I hope you have some other plan than to chase the American dream because nobody is going to love or trust you.
28 Posts / 2 Images
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What wikihow article is that from?
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>>35856631
Apparently, "Plan a Disney vacation"
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>>35856570
I'm 34 and still a KV because I haven't hired a hooker yet.
Don't see how that's any better.
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Mexicans arent whi-
17 Posts / 3 Images
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>>35856556
>Mexicans arent whi-
damn whites always committing crime
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Mexicans are so pathetic. Fuckers wear thick long sleeve shirts during summer just to not darken, but every other white person fucking tans
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>>35856556
>>35856581
Wrong board, neckbeards
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Would you rather be chad or an ugly, middle-aged fat faceless hentai rapist, if your day job in the latter case consists of fucking every kind of /d/ fetish girl and/or girl(male) under the sun?
10 Posts / 3 Images
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>>35856518
Chad, obviously.
Then I just fuck whoever I want.
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Chad of course because when i am chad i can fuck every kind of /d/ fetish girl(male) too.
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>>35856559
they only exist in scenario two
Anonymous
http://www.today.com/video/meet-julia-the-first-sesame-street-muppet-with-autism-907287619923 2017-03-28 03:49:09 Post No.35856479
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http://www.today.com/video/meet-julia-the-first-sesame-street-muppet-with-autism-907287619923 2017-03-28 03:49:09 Post No.35856479
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http://www.today.com/video/meet-julia-the-first-sesame-street-muppet-with-autism-907287619923
Anonymous
2017-03-28 03:49:09
Post No. 35856479
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Sesami has an autistic muppet.
Discuss.
11 Posts / 2 Images
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>>35856479
you're an autistic muppet
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This topic has been discussed into the ground and all there is left are the people who want to have sex with it.
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>>35856479
goddam the australian accent is hot
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What's up guys? Anyone else getting their cock sucked?
50 Posts / 10 Images
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>>35856468
I'm seriously about to cum down this girl's throat. Anyone else or am I the only person on r9k getting head right now
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sorry OP I'm not interested in other people touching my penis
I'll suck yours tho
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>>35856749
I dont need you to. She's already got that handled.
I am surprised no other robots are getting head right now! Wtf guys?
>Get really really angry
>Start to feel dizzy and lightheaded
>Starting to get headache
>Pretty sure my face is red
How do I fix this? What's happening to me?
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On any drugs?
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>>35856399
>How do I fix this?
Beat the shit out of someone
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>Pretty sure my face is red
Don't you have a mirror?
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He pushes people away before they get a chance to leave him.
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>>35856252
That part was seriously pathetic and cringey. Anyone like him should kill themselves.
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>>35856252
You justt described me :(
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>>35856252
His mentor hangs himself from a doorknob in the post-credit scene
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Why is suicide so looked down on and nobody wants to admit that sometimes its best to just die?
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>>35856226
They don't want to feel bad about knowing that someone killed themselves and they could've helped. Also good vibes die when suicide happens.
iunno normies
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I think it's fear.
I'm miserable but too much of a coward to an hero.
Hold me.
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>>35856226
once you are there, what's stopping people taking others with them
if death isn't so bad, and you are resolved to do it, why not gta until you get wasted?
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*kills baby*
my body my rules :)
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what were you trying to achieve with this thread
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>>35856136
Who cares, it's one less shit head in the world
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No one on /r9k/ will ever be in a situation like that.