Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1971. page

I think maybe just let them hear what they wanna hear..

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Literally beat them at their own game. It's the best feeling in the world when you dominate a narcissistic pleb in their own game. If they ''shout'', just ignore them.

Deal with them like anyone else. Don't armchair psych people.

What are you 12?

>>18195960
I don't really have access to anything else, I just wanna go to sleep

Have you clean out your room/apartment/finance? Don't trouble other people.

>>18195919

You're nowhere near it, no.

Take it from a real alcoholic - I drink 10+ drinks a day and have for the past 13 years. If I'm not drinking, I'm thinking about drinking. I'm financially solvent now, but in the past, I had sold shit or sacrificed eating/other things so I could keep drinking.

A bottle of rum wouldn't last two days.

I'm on the wagon right now, but you have nothing to worry about.

I love rum. I drink it straight.

>>18195919
>High stress
>Cope with liquor
>Run out of liquor
>Can't stop thinking about liquor
>Liquor

Attend AA asap.

So move dude.. your place can't be that tiny tho! :o

This is weird. Cities are huge, but you're so afraid of what your friends are going to say you have to move? What the fuck? That shit is crazy.

>>18195986

No, no, it's not like that at all - it's a city, but a lot of people agree that it has a "smaller feel" to it, in that the people here all tend to seem to know each other one way or the other, whether we went to high school, or worked together (we really just have one main industry here), so people tend to all know each other.

I'm not worried about "what my friends have to say," but that I'm not going to try to date a friend's ex-girlfriend, or someone's not going to date me when they're friends with someone I used to fool around with. Does that make more sense?

I'm not the only person that feels this way, it's a pretty common complaint - also because there's a LOT of shitty people in this city, so the sane people have kind of grouped together.

I live in Vegas, to get that out of the way.

That was several weeks ago. The staff hours have picked up, and I'm still not offered work. I feel paranoid and abandoned. I lie awake at night not knowing what the next day will bring. The real issue I have in my life is my long term job prospects, but I cannot focus on it whilst on bad terms with my manager, because I value that relationship so much. I text her at the beginning of the week when I can work next, and I get no response.

I went in again and had a talk. I could tell by her attitude that something had changed. Apparently I had said some things to other people, there was gossip. I genuinely have no idea what I may have said though, as I often don't think straight these days. I should have pressed her on specifics, but my aim was to beg for shifts, which I was told was not happening. She told me I need to shut the fuck up and work my way up the ladder again. This was a few days ago.

The way I see it, there's very few opportunities to work my way up the ladder without regular work. At work, I feel punished and humiliated, and I cannot stay positive. Outside of work, I feel crippled. When I engage in my hobbies, or even during a conversation, my mind will wander to this issue and I won't be able to focus. This happens a lot.

Sometimes I feel angry and I want to quit the company, but then I consider my job prospects and I feel like I should just end everything.

I have so much I want to tell my manger, but when I talk to her, I don't know where to begin. Last night I couldn't sleep, so I wrote a letter, addressed to her, describing my feelings, and how much I value this job and this relationship. I don't want to seem like I'm harassing her though. I was considering printing this letter off, seeing her tomorrow morning and giving it to her, but saying nothing, and seeing what comes of it. I can't just wait at the side lines, because I get no enjoyment from anything in life whilst I have no purpose in life.

What do I do?

I’m sorry for your situation, especially now that your mental and physical health have begun to deteriorate as a result. But you will find your way out of this. Anyway, here are my two cents and I hope it helps.

Right off the bat: your relationship with your manager seems inappropriate. It doesn’t have to be romantic or sexual or deeply personal for it to be so. It sounds to me like your relationship with your manager has excused certain behaviors, feelings, expectations, hopes, disappointments etc. that have clouded your judgment and role as an EMPLOYEE, not a friend and not a son. And that alone makes it inappropriate.

The initial feelings you described having about being discontent with your job is normal. Those are genuine feelings that you owe yourself to listen to. You’re human. Those feelings are appropriate to have. But how you handled those feelings (i.e. lashing out to your manager and coworkers) was NOT appropriate. This you already know.

But you seem to be blaming YOURSELF for having had those feelings of doubt about your job in the first place. You seem to be punishing YOURSELF for having ruined your friendship with your manager. These are not the things to blame. Like I said, those feelings were normal. It’s your RELATIONSHIP to your job that gave rise to these inappropriate behaviors, not your discontent and worries about your career.

You’re not acknowledging what the true root of the problem is – and until you do so, any action you take will be stemming from that same root. Writing that letter is NOT A GOOD IDEA. It’s simply not appropriate. The importance of your friendship to your manager simply does not matter. You are worrying about the wrong things. It is NOT about your friendship with your manager, it is about your own sense of pride and contentment at this present moment in your career track.

>>18195982
cont.

I suggest you take a step back, reevaluate your past, present, and future job wise – and think about what you want in your life. You were unhappy at the beginning of your story for a reason and my bet is that reason had nothing to do with your relationship to your manager. Don’t mix those things up.

Don't get lost in the present moment, this present job, and this present friendship. Your career track and your physical and mental wellbeing take ALWAYS should precedence. Don't confuse the battle for the war. Don't ignore your larger feelings of discontent with your job over a friendship that is nowhere near as important.

>>18195838
This is such a non-issue... You'll be fine. Put a bandaid over it, maybe. The nail will grow slowly, and eventually you'll never know anything happened.

Enjoy feeling like a badass for now.

Go to the doctor, you can get an infection.

>>18195898
This, you likely already have tetanus and will have incurable nerve damage since you waited to get treatment.

>>18195823
Looks like classical friendzone. It's better for you to give up and find somebody else. Ask yourself, if she were a guy, would you still want to hang out with him that much?

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>>18195908
OP here.

Yes, I know it's a friendzone, but I'd actually still like to remain friends and I have to interact with this person for two years. I'm not trying to get involved in a relationship at this point right now anyway

The question is how should I approach this to determine if our friendship is genuine or if shes just worried about self image or feels bad?

>>18195920
You want to have your pie and eat it too. Until you get over your infatuation with her, it's not possible for you to be friends. I have been on both sides of friendzone. Believe me, friendzoners (at least those who do it knowingly) are really cruel people. If you know you are friendzoning somebody and you care about that person, the proper way to address it is to talk about their feelings, explain why that's not gonna happen and propose to minimize any contact with them, at least until they stop being infatuated with you.

>>18195813
>I feel like i'm a total loser
>I have a doctorate

you are a loser lmao

>>18195813
I've been throught similar things.

Stop comparing yourself with those busiinessmen unless you're aiming to be like them.

Go life on your own terms, only compare yourself to the ones you plan to surpass, otherwise it'll never end and you'll end up feel like loser because you're not speaking 7 different languages, while being a natural born genius polymath who owns worldwide profitable business while bangins victoria's secret models every night.

>55K/yr
>not enough to save

Fuck you. I make 40 and I still it away 500/month.

Hey dude.
I see your situation is pretty bad. Rn I'm in a relationship with a depressed girl and sometimes i have similar situations as you have. I think the best for her is to show her that you are serious. Because I think the most relevant thing in a relation she is in is to let you know that she is thankful for your help. It's very bad of her to tell you you ain't doing nothing!

Good luck!

>>18195801
You what I think is weird?

The younger a user is, the more crazy they think their mom is. Ain't that sumthin'? How 'bout that?

>>18195880
It's not an angsty teenage thing. She's been diagnosed with a bunch of stuff. Therapist gave up on her cause she was too stubborn to change. Literally told her "I can't do anything to help you" and prescribed sleeping meds.


Im not denying she cares about me. She does. And i do. It's just she's been making really bad decisions and the only way to help her is to make her realise and admit she's wrong, rather than everyone else is

eye for an eye senpai

>>18196502
I'm only worried that I might not get anyone that fucked me over fired, but instead it'll backfire and they'll lawyer up.

For a bit I was thinking about whether it was morally right to do this but I don't give a fuck about that at this point, I just want to make sure that I destroy some people's lives but avoid any consequences.

>>18196502

an eye for an eye makes all senpai blind

Wait til she asks you about money transfer.

>>18195807
Plz dont meme me, our city is small and its easy to tell if someone is fake.

>>18195791
>getting hung up on a tinder slut

bro, i get you live in a small town but fuck these bitches, literally and figuratively
don't get attached, don't let your guard down, pump and dump and move on

>>18195751

some people are drawn to loneliness like a moth to the flame.

I think you're operating under the idea that life is supposed to be happy. In fact those who would be your best friends betray your trust often. Even better you get to watch those closest to do die way before their time. Life isn't happy. Life is shit and friends are just people you interact with to beat boredom.

happiness is chemicals
you don't have happy chemicals in your brain
if doing things doesn't supply you with happiness chemicals, you'll have to take a more direct approach to supplying your brain with the chemicals it needs

My ex did the same shit. Eventually we just broke up. She demanded more and more from me that I couldn't give to her and I got salty so I stopped spending time with her. Then she went out with some weird people and I decided it was over.

What did she demand from you?

>>18195730
Just realize that her things are seasonal and she can't keep doing "nothing" forever.
I don't mean it in a bad way a lot of celebs rely on their time, even if they stay pretty for years, they'll have to actively keep masses interested enough to grab their attention.
Why do you think someone like David Bowie keep reinventing his image? Or Michael Jackson? Or in a bad way why celebs go nuts on TV and have divorce, adopting lots of 3rd world kids?

And those companies not giving her for FREE, they counted it as advertising budget for marketing their products better.

Now, what is it the problem? Does she make ridiculous demand on you? Or is it just your insecurity speaking?

Post some of your hand writing


I can't say how much it will effect you since It sounds were around the same age.

Also a lot of bad hand writing comes from the bad habit of writing too fast when you should be going slower. I saw improvement when I learned to take my time.

- slow down your writing, take your time when you can.
- practice
- find a favorite pen (helps me I don't know about you)

>>18195728

I've realized my handwriting is pretty shitty, but it's fast so I don't intend on changing it. Besides it's for stuff that only I will ever read

However I've started writing in cursive more often and it looks a lot neater and more refined than print. Maybe try writing in cursive.

I've also found writing in pen to be beneficial, at least for me, but only because I have really light handwriting when using a pencil.

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my handwriting

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Bump. I have the same situation. She clearly stated that I should find someone else, decided to keep contact purely professional.

I can't fall for other girls, I tried. I just don't like other girls. Can't even jerk off properly.

>>18195720
You could continue trying to find another girl to be your new oneitis.

Or, you could force it to her. Force her to be yours, using any means necessary.

Both are not healthy choices, since your problem lie on something other that girl or relationship.

Perhaps you could try meditation, or zen shit to make yourself no too overly attached to some things in this world.

Wait a while, until you understand the real reason why you were attracted. It may have been deeper than you imagined. It may have been a mistake.

I have a crush on a girl who doesn't even reciprocate or answer my messages. I fucked up bad trying to attract her. Next year, I will more than likely see her again. I will ask if she'd like to dance with me. If she doesn't want to, then I guess I'll just get drunk instead.

They tell you to fuck other women to realize how insignificant the one person you're attracted to actually is. But really I'd just be watering myself down and cheapening compatibility.

I want to hold on to strong feelings because insignificant ones are in abundance. And abundance degrades endurance. All I can do is try. Hell even jacking off waters down my attractions, but the truly significant, compatible ones remain like a tattoo.. if not a blurred tattoo waiting to be retouched so to speak..