How do I get out of here?

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There was some serious voodoo going on that night. The moon turned blood red (solar eclipse). One of the pitchers -- I forget who but he had facial hair like Jesus -- began bleeding from his ankles. A ripped tendon made his Red Socks red with blood: the Stigmata. And then it happened. They won. I was happy at the time, but immediately began to feel guilty and worried about what I had done.

I've changed a lot since then. I've lost interest in sports, I no longer really believe in God. The only thing that has kept me slightly theistic is the fear that I may have done this unforgivable thing. When I finally told my dad Dad about what I thought I'd done, he said that he didn't think a righteous God would really prosecute a 12-year-old child for trying to sacrifice himself in this way, but I'm not so sure.

The reason I bring this up is that even if hell isn't real, I'm afraid that I've become trapped in the closest thing humans have ever created to the biblical conception of Hell. I'm talking, of course, about this place: 4chan. Think about it. It's a place that doesn't exist in the real world where the most horrible people in existence come to torment one another. Nothing really changes, nobody really dies, we can't truly hurt one another. But we're stuck in this endless cycle of pain where the only joy is that felt at the expense of others.

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I'm addicted to internet culture. When people say they're addicted to shit like that, they usually mean it in jest. But I'm being dead serious right now. A thing does not have to be chemical in order for it to be addicting. There are gambling addicts, sex addicts, porn addicts. The only real criteria for addiction, I think is that the addicting thing in question has to (1) cause problems and (2) propose itself as a solution to the problems it causes. My parents used to bug me about the way I wasted my life, and I used to ignore them, but a few years ago I finally realized they were right.

I'm a smart person. I'm intelligent, creative, I can write and work and draw. I'm not saying this to brag, I'm just pointing out that I've got potential and I'm wasting it online. I allow social opportunities to slip me by, and I allow schoolwork to be turned in late or not get done at all. The college I go to is well below my true abilities, and though I'll be graduating this Summer as an Applied Math major I have no idea what the hell I'm going to do with the degree.

There's more I could say, but I'm getting tired of writing, and I imagine you're getting tired of reading. My question is: how do I get out of here? Get off of not only 4chan but out of the internet culture? I've been trying for quite some time to be productive, I've even gone to Alcoholics Anonymous meetings despite not having a drinking problem. But I keep coming back.

I don't want it to end like this. I don't want to be dependent on my parents for the rest of my life. I want to live. Create. Know the touch of a woman. Fall in love. I'm finally realizing that there's nothing here, but what can I do to stop?

Any advice would be welcome.

There's no devil. Nothing supernatural exists. You are the only person with the means to affect your future in any meaningful way. You're free.

Just get off the website. Block yourself from it. Find something to do other then this. You can redo your ambitions; just don't come here any more. But what problems does 4chan give you and how does it fix said problems? I like the idea of this place being some sort of hell were all doomed to for whatever reason, but I'm rather sure that's not true as many people have left this website and talked about it in other places. Honestly, you just need to divide your time correctly.

>>37867973
No I'm not

At least it doesn't feel that way

>>37868266
You are. You are in a prison of your own design. You are free to leave anytime.

You don't need to get out of internet culture. You just need to do other things besides being online.How you do that is up to you.

>>37868243
How do I block it though? I've tried siteblocking software, and either it's incredibly easy to disable or it expires after a period of time. Is there any way I can just block 4chan or youtube forever?

>>37868281
I've always felt that if I were to start a support group for internet addiction, that that would be the best possible title

"Prisoners of Our Own Devices"

That just works on so many levels.

>>37868301
You honestly wouldn't need to block it if you had the ability to not every waking moment here and had the ability to be productive while still browsing here for enjoyment, but I'm sure if you asked /g/ or whatever the appropriate board is for a program like that they could provide you with one

>>37868316
You can block the internet, you can smash your devices, you can even kill the mains breaker in your house, but that won't help. The same conditions that cause you to compulsively come to this website or whatever you compulsively do still exist. You are in a prison of your own design. You are the only one who can choose to leave. You must build mental toughness.

>>37868388
Not spend*

>>37868419
How do you build enough mental toughness?

>>37868461
I run distance every day, but there are other ways. The biggest part is recognizing that what you're doing is compulsive and making a choice to do something else instead. Changing your phone case can help, or putting your computer on the other side of the room. Just the novelty of saying "oh, that's different" gives your mind enough time to say, wait, what am I doing? Is this wilful behavior, or is it compulsive? Then you need some other behavior lined up that can occupy your mind, like a book or a puzzle or ... distance running, for a little while until the compulsive urge goes away. Do this for a few weeks until you've removed the conditioned behavior. This is how people quit smoking.

Like when I want to start weedposting, I often go read /diy/.

>>37868388
I don't have the ability to not spend this much time here. That's literally kind of the point.

At the same time, I can't just get rid of my computer or cut off my internet connection because I need it for work

>>37868558
I have been doing crossfit recently, and that does help. But I've done every kind of "put roadblocks between me and it" thing there is, and it always fails in the end. I need a roadblock I can't easily overcome.

Any other suggestions?

>>37868616
See yourself as a person of value who has high standards for himself.

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When you are so weak minded you start blaming a fictional character from 2000 years ago for your unhealthy internet habits

LMAO
i love these posts this board is so ridiculous

*Crying laughing emoji* x3

>>37868704
>implying the devil was created by new testament mythology

American Christian education system, everybody.

>>37868616
Like I said, ask the tech board for something like that they are much more likely to have it then us.

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>>37867675
>mfw "socks"

>>37869158
I don't get your reaction. Like them? Don't like them?

>>37869326
Red Sox, anon. Red Sox.

>>37869845
oh...

OH!

Fucking hell I sold my soul so they could win in 2004 and now I can't even remember how to spell their fucking names. It's been too long since I was into sports.

Anyhow, if anybody here's a fan, now's the time to thank me.

>>37867973

>Nothing supernatural exists

>You are the only person with the means to affect your future in any meaningful way.

If nothing supernatural exists then there is no free will because we're all made of matter, including our brains that generate our thoughts, and matter must obey the laws of physics (whether those laws at the quantum scale are deterministic or random is immaterial, because if random events compel our actions then that's no more "free" than being determined by prior causes. You can't will a random event to turn out one way or another--if you could it wouldn't be random).

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>>37867697
>Think about it. It's a place that doesn't exist in the real world where the most horrible people in existence come to torment one another. Nothing really changes, nobody really dies, we can't truly hurt one another. But we're stuck in this endless cycle of pain where the only joy is that felt at the expense of others.
Oh god why can't we leave

>>37869959
I know anon, I know.

Maybe you could benefit from some of the answers in this thread as well.

I've started a thread on /g/, as the people here suggested. Not much going on, yet, though.
>>>/g/61011936

Maybe I'll start another thread and cut right to the whole "we're in hell" shit. That'll get more replies, I bet. Still, I'll wait for this one to die first.

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>>37869939
Redpill yourself on multiple quantum realities. While outcomes may be predetermined in this universe, there are infinity universes, each of which contains one set of predetermined outcomes.

It's a theory that fits the facts.