Archived threads in /qst/ - Quests - 633. page

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00:05, 6 June 1944.

You are Maksim, a Landser freshly conscripted from Ukraine, in the 1st Company of the 736th Grenadier Regiment.

About half of your 50-man company are elderly Germans, and the other half are conscripts ranging from France to Russia.

Your equipment is shoddy, and you think High Command allocated the real boots and helmets to the SS. All you have is this foliage cap.

It is the eve of a supposed invasion of northern France, and you are stuck guarding the Caen canal bridge.

Gefreiter Hans yawns as he watches over the bridge with you. It is surrounded by three machine-gun emplacements and sandbagged trenches, of which all of them are being manned by sleepy soldiers.

"Maksim, go check on the guys manning the front of the bridge, ja? Let's make sure the Tommies don't kill us in our sleep," Hans says to you.

You nod and pick up your rifle. It's really cold tonight and you need to piss.

Maybe you can sneak off at the head of the bridge and then do your rounds to alert the other guards?

[ ] Screw warning them, you really need to take that piss.

[ ] Be a good conscript and wake up the guards in the trenches.

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your a professional memer and you need to find the next new meme
what do you do
>post a bury pink thread
>go outside into the meme forest
>your mom
>rudepost

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"I'll show those peasants on the other side of the magic mirror... I'll show those beasts in the Wyld! I'm true royalty, and I'll do whatever it takes to get what's mine!"

You are Avaritia, Princess of Envy, and that was your solemn declaration as you gazed out into the black abyss that dominated the sky, devoid of anything at all. Idly, you fantasize about different clusters of stars and heavenly bodies, the shapes they would take. Maybe once you're in the other world you could take some or if there's a book in the Librarium on how to make your own. Doing either would probably take things you don't have just yet...

The Mandrakes, witless plant people that they are, aren't really good for much right now except physical labor. You definitely deserve better than a handful of glorified janitors and a fussy old butler!

"Still, it's not all bad", you think as you idly trace your twisted horns. At least your second foray into the Wyld had gotten some results. You frown bitterly "Definitely better than the first try...".

But now's not the time to think about past defeats! Instead, let's think about future victories, like...

>Checking out the village you glimpsed on the other side of the Mirror
>Another safari in the Wyld? A powerful minion or another monster part could be a boon
>Other Action?

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_v4n6srZxDY

The Genders stand divided.

Adam vs Eve.

Defectors and Converts come from both genders, spies hide everywhere.

The Gender War grows ever more violent. With each side Reproducing asexually with the Use of the Progenitor machines.

We are the Patriarch's fist and we will take back Earth from the Covenant of Venus for MANkind

But be warned soldier. There are fates worse than death out there.

Aerosol Estrogen Nanovirises, Transition POW camps. Forced Hormone replacement torture.

You must fight if you wish to retain your manhood. Quite literally.

Stay Strong. Stay Male. Stay Victorious.

Praise be to Adam!

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This version of Risk is different from /int/-style Risk. If you can't role-play and just want to post "roll for X" without giving substance to the story, then your roll will be ignored and you will eventually be kicked from the quest. Use dice+1d100 for rolls.

Risk is a board game of simple conquest. You are leaders of nations in a post-apocalyptic USA. Everyone wants to restore the mythical American Empire under one banner.

You must choose your nation and your color. If you've been assassinated or overthrown (inactive after five rounds), anybody is free to take your place.

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You are a marvel executive. Disney has just given you the order to get the fantastic four rights back from Fox. How do you proceed?

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Ree Ree you are a Pepe.

Pepe is a smug and lonely frog.

Pepe occasionally has brief episodes of psychosis.

As a Pepe your one true goal is to achieve the highest level of smug.

Pepe is a strict believer of the will of kek. You see kek is an all powerful being who shows his presence through dubs and gets. Kek has shown his existence in mysterious ways and takes a liking to smug chaos. For each dub or get you achieve you will be awarded a free pass to advance your ascension to smugness.

Smug is very important. As you clear levels your smug level increases. Kek is the highest level of smug. There are ten levels of smug. They are Tadpole, Toad, Bullfrog, True Toad, True Frog, Fire-Bellied Toad, Ghost Frog, Xenopus, Neobatrachia, and kek. Achieving kek status doesn't mean you've accomplished your quest. You must reach kek himself to truly become ascended.

Smug is very easy to get and very easy to lose. As this is a souls quest the smug system makes this an actual challenge. For every hit you take you lose a level of smug. You can get smug for clearing levels and for helping kill Pepes with bounties as explained below. If your smug drops below tadpole you get your dick chopped off(or your vagina sealed shut), die and are taken to the Toad Tomb by Wojack. There you must face other undead pepes and either team up with them to defeat Wojack and regain tadpole status (and your dick/reopen vagina) or kill each other and collect the loser's smug. Losers will have to keep trying to kill other pepes or team up to gain escape from the Toad Tomb.

Will you ascend to the high heavens and face kek himself on the throne of smug?

Let us find out. You begin your quest as a tadpole. A smug tadpole but a tadpole nonetheless. You must first survive your journey out of the pond you have been birthed in. Once we get ourselves out of this pond our journey across the terrible land of St.Louis Missouri begins and so does our quest for smugness!

The land is dominated by delirious apes. An unknown plague has triggered a raging outburst of violence among the population. Be careful around these lesser creatures. Make sure they face the full fury of your smugness should your paths cross. But do mind the innocent civilians and bystanders! If you harm non normie civilians you will achieve a wanted level. A wanted level will earn you a bounty which means that other Pepes are allowed to rape your pepe for smugness. A bounty can only be lost after taking damage and losing smug.

Please select a few preferences below

>Gender-Chad or Stacy?
>Penis size (Chad's only)-Feeble five or Tenacious Ten?
>Vagina tightness (Stacy only)-Hotdog Hallway or Death Grip?
>Political preference(both genders)-Trump or Bernie?

Now for the only stat that will really ever matter.

>Choose weapon-Corrosive semen cocktails-Explosive piss bombs-Shitposting-Eric and Dylan's Columbine Carnage blessing (You are able to unleash a hailstorm of bullets, killing your enemies and civilian bystanders)

GO

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ohayou /qst/-chan,
Congratulations! You have been accepted into the prestigious Sakura Ching Chong Academy. A beautiful and well regarded private highschool that is an hour outside of Tokyo! Now, before we begin our story, it looks like you need a name. So tell us, what will your name be?

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Twitter: @BeleagueredQM
Pastebin: http://pastebin.com/FEc6v8FP
Archive: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Beleaguered%20Prince%20Quest

I'm going to give /qst/ a trial run to see how it goes, so here are the basics if anyone's reading this for the first time:

1- Don't roll unless I tell you to.
2- The target number for all rolls is 4.
3- You roll bigger dice if a task is easy and smaller dice if it's more difficult.
4- Critfails only happen if all dice fail and you roll a 1. They increase the difficulty of your next roll with that ability.
5- Crit successes only happen if you roll a 10, 11, or 12, so they're limited by your dice. They decrease the difficulty of your next roll.

===============

You are Prince Meirion auk Gwyrren, the only sane man in a royal family with dubious concepts of strategy, justice, taxation, and governance in general. You have made it your goal in life to keep your family on the throne and your head firmly attached to your body.

You had a plan. It was convoluted, but it was a plan. You were going to get your corrupt uncle out of his home so professional teams could rob the place and steal a seal of nobility, which you would then return to their rightful owner along with some land in order to keep a merchant conglomerate happy.

Then this happened:

"How dare you put your hands on Eleri! I challenge you to a duel, sir!"

Myrddin is terribly please that you've been challenged to a duel over a woman, while Olwen and Reagan look something between amused and exasperated. The rest of the gathered nobles move into a circle around you in order to watch things play out.

Eleri's face turns pale and she steps in front of you protectively.

"Lord Cadryff -" She calls out to the noble who challenged you.

It takes you a second to place the name. You've never met the Count of Cadryff in person, but you know the previous one died recently, so this should be his son, Andras.

"This doesn't concern you, Eleri!"

No, you're quite certain that this does, in fact, concern her.

"Wait isn't that…"

"I think so…"

"Yes, it looks just like him…"

And now the nobles are whispering about you, which means some of them know who you are. That means you can't back down yourself without losing face.

The Victorious Prince can't lose face.

You sigh and rub your forehead.

>"Okay, let's do this. Myrddin, get my sword."
>[Sovereign/1d8] "Kid, do you seriously not know who I am?"
>[Military/1d10] "Kid, I have killed more people than you've met in your entire life."

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You're trying to board a plane with the masked man and this guy tells you you can't bring friends. What do you do?

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You are a high school student. Your name is Takuya. Your last name is unimportant.

All that really matters right now is that you were enjoying blissful slumber until your childhood friend Maki decided to barge into your room and shake you awake. She likes to do this every morning.

"Takuya, wake up already!"

"Maki, can't I sleep in just this once?" you groan, "I mean, it's Sunday, for heaven's sake!"

"Come on, you promised!"

Promised? Promised what?

...oh.

Shit. That's right, you promised her you'd help her run her family's fish store today. Her dad's in the hospital with a cold, so it's just her.

Or, you could just welch and sleep in.

>Alright, alright, I'll get up
>Sorry Maki, I, uh, I don't feel so hot
>Other

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You are JIMMY JANITOR, the fattest and gayest mod this end of the entire website. Considering your job's reputation for attracting dong hoovers like a greasy pasty plague, this is an impressive feat.

Today is a SPECIAL DAY! Today, against the wishes of almost everyone on the board, you've decided to create an unnecessary quarantine board!

You are , of course, now trapped inside that quarantine area. What do?

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You are in the midst of a civil war. You are at a military camp. Fantasy setting. Reply to this topic with an action. Based on your the last digit of your roll I will determine how that action turned out. Go.

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You are Secret Squirrel and have recently murdered Rocko for being the dumbshit that he is. You need to find some new henchmen.

Choose one:
>Go looking in the alleyway
>Go looking at the Salty Spitoon
>Go looking at Weenie Hut Jr.
>Piss on Rocko's grave

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HELLO THERE this is the new and very experimental yugioh adventure quest.
You are now a party of 4 with spiky as fuck hair and have a deck to defend your pale fleshy skin.
do you like each other? probably not.
it is recomended that you be a veteran in the manga and had watched the original show before embarking on this quest.
The rules are as followed
[1] You are a party of 4
[2] Life points are 4000(may be subject to change)
[3] You start with your spirit card as your goto bullshit plot device and ass protector. This monster may be any of your choosing
[4] No duplicate spirit cards, you can only asspull so hard anon
[5] You must decide your starting location and final destination before you begin, however you get there and how many posts it takes is up to how well you cooperate.