You are Bill O'Reilly.
Today is your first day at FOX NEWS.
>make remark about Donald trump
>>9832
fuck megan kelly
>DO IT LIVE
Ever feel sometimes you were a piece in a game? Well, today you can play a "commander" of pieces in a war-game, trying to navigate through WW2. You'll maneuver, you'll fight, and hopefully, you'll do well, take your objectives and destroy the enemy, as opposed to say, keep getting your ships sunk, your tanks blown up, or your planes shot down.
Each turn will start with a set of orders handed down from the player. They are usually, but not always, designed to maximize the utility of the major power you're fighting for. However, you are no ordinary piece. While the rest of your comrades will always do what the player tells them to, you have a degree of free will; you can disobey orders by spending Willpower, a statistic that measures how special you are. Your individual goals might not entirely coincide with that of your power, your in this for your career and glory, not the ultimate victory, quick and easy, of your major power; there will be times where you might want to disobey an order to be the first into a major city or the like. However, willpower can also be used in other ways, to provide temporary bonuses to your unit, to request an upgrade of your unit to transfer to a different theater, stuff like that.
I have not fully worked out a scoring system, but the basics are fighting and winning=good, fighting and losing=bad, some adjustment for your country (so a Soviet land guy isn't going to be penalized for dying a whole bunch in the first 6 months of Barbarossa, whereas an American land unit who dies an equal amount of times will be)
So, what do you want to play? Start off by picking a Major Power (Germany, Italy, Japan, UK, U.S., France, USSR, China/Communist China) and a broad branch of service you wish to have your career in (Land, Air, Naval)
If anyone has any questions, please feel free to ask, and I will do my best to answer quickly and clearly.
>>5085
Hello. Care to play?
Rolled 8 (1d20)
Rolling for bunnies
You are an arcanaloth who is a cute foxgirl.
You are visiting Sigil. Where do you go?
>>120
Visit Lady of Pain-chan!
>>120
TO THE BROTHEL
>>136
seconded!
We need to make enough memes to have a suitable team to enter.
>>9343
Does Chess with Ses now count as a /qst/ meme?
>>9343
Your name is Richard. You are a 26 year old kiss-less handhold-less virgin living with his parents.
You're depressed and browse /r9k/ daily complaining about how horrible women are, you're also a follower of MGTOW and use it as an excuse as to why you don't have a partner.
You're easily over 100kg and shower twice a week. You spend your days in your room, posting on /r9k/ and occasionally playing video games.
Your mother knocks on your door and you quickly scramble to tab out of your femdom porn video
She makes you turn your obese ass over to her and she confronts you.
Again she asks you why you don't have a job and when you're going to get a girl. She does this a few times a month and by now you've gotten sick of it.
Post ending in 1 or 9 says what you do or say
>>5994
/thread
You find this man homeless on the streets.
He tells you that Google is plotting to conquer the internet and shut down 4chan for good.
He hands you a steel knife and tells you to go to Google headquarters and shut down the mainframe.
You enter the building, there is a person at the reception desk, they say "Hello"
"hello"
>>5136
"what can i do for you today?"
you are sure to hide the knife and she doesn't look suspicious at all
"Show me to the hot cocoa machine"
>You look out the train window and see
Treblinka
Current options
>Holocaust self
>Continue to camp
Holocaust self
>>3099
USER WAS TREBLINKA'D FOR THIS POST
It is a fairly average school day. Your teacher Ms. Olivier is going on a long speech about the importance of some book you are reading in class. Their are two weeks left of the school year and as a senior you couldn't care less about school at this point. You give a glance out the window of the building and see the city streets abuzz with life. You nod off and when you come to the principle has put the school on lock down. Faint explosions can be heard from outside. Ms. Olivier is telling everyone to get to the back of the class until the police arrive, your friend Julia grabs your arm she pulls you to the back of the class. Her red hair and freckles make her stand out from everyone else. Someone taps you from behind a large kid with black hair named Todd hands you your ID. "You left this on your desk" he gives you a smile.
What does your ID read?
Name?
Gender?
age? (17-18)
General summary the world is ending, magic is back. Will you defend your peers and build a new kingdom or join the ranks of magic creatures and attempt to take over this once peaceful city?
>>10037
>Ron D'Rune
>Male
>Age:18
>>10037
Cameron Johnson
Male
17
You give Todd a thankful nod. "What do you think is going on" Julia whispers to you. Julia has been a friend since you were little. She grew up in a shitty home and mostly resorted to shoplifting to feed herself. Todd to your knowledge was the opposite. You never hung around him much but you know he was pretty well off and got near perfect marks in class.
An explosion rocks the classroom and gun fire can be heard from outside. A flying man looks in the window and shoots a fireball. He kills several of your class mates. He laughs and throws another down at some officers below.
Many of the students run out of the classroom. What do you do?
I'll refrain from giving a name for now as its a tie.
>VACUUS ERAT AUTEM MUNDUS
You exist in a world where there is nothing but You and the dark emptiness. You plan to change that.
What is your first action?
>>8096
Make some light.
>>8096
Create the universe
>>8096
Make some light, as anon hath said before me
>Thread Archive: suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Beyond%20the%20Gate
>QM Twitter: twitter.com/SmileytheQM
As comfy as Ilica's lap is, you want to see this. So you pick your head up and take a look.
The outer walls of Locke are a lot more impressive than Bell's Run's, Sherton's, or Contique's. They're easily twice as high, and with twice as many soldiers manning them...
A pair of lightly armored women stand at the gates. Both of them wear a crest that looks like outstretched dragon wings.
One of them is large and well muscled, with a pair of bull's horns on her head and legs that have a strange bend to them... and hooves, she has those too.
The other is shorter, and while she still looks stong, she is a lot less bulky than her partner. She has ears poking out the top of her head that look a lot like Ilica's, but her tail is different...
"Halt. No one enters after dark without her lady's permission" The larger woman says.
"He smells familiar..." The smaller one says, as she sniffs the air.
"I would hope so" Derrick says. "Stuck on night duty, huh Rhea? Lulu?"
"Derrick?" The small one asks. "You're not dead"
"Nice to see you too" Derrick says. "I don't see Mary or Pip around. Is it just you two?"
"We should be more than enough" The smaller one says, as she draws her sword.
The larger woman also draws an axe. Derrick doesn't seem worried... he's more annoyed than anything. "Do we really have to do this now?" He asks.
"You've been gone too long Derrick. Your absence has made you soft" The larger one says. "If you want in, then come try to get by"
...
>Do we have to fight them?
>Can this wait until after I have a bed?
>I'm confused... aren't they the good guys-... gals?
>Other
>>>/tg/
They aren't deleting quests, there's no reason to run here.
>>7797
>>Do we have to fight them?
>>7797
>Can this wait until after I have a bed?
Or breakfast. Both would be preferred.
You're now YOU, and you're put into the most basic of basic situations, you're trapped in a room along with a DOG. It's a very simple predicament with a simple solution. All you have to do is escape the room. Though there is some rather strange rules that apply in this universe...
In this universe you have the special ability to MANIPULATE WORDS, you can use letters from one word to create another word. For example you can turn a SHOE into a HOSE or a WATERMELON into a LEMON. You can also pull a NIFTY trick, via synonyms, for example you can turn a TABLE into a WOODEN PLATFORM to create WOOF MAN. See? That's pretty damn clever.
Now then what will YOU do?
>>2428
Turn Dog into God. And pray to God for ascension to the next level.
You are a lowly shitposter, and you find yourself in the (literally) virgin land of /qst/.
Your current abilities are disappointing, to say the least, but as you find your way in /qst/, your powers grow with every GET.
> Base rules:
> 1. Singles have no game effect. (Good for worldbuilding, character development, etc.)
> 2. Dubs determine player actions.
> 3. Trips determine player level and grant new abilities.
> 4. Quads determine major elements of the world (major events, governmental shifts, new villains)
> 5. Quints are wish-level magic that can add a rule or edit an existing rule, or act as any lower GET.
> Who are you?
>>781
I am Billy Muckfuffin.
>>822
That was quick.
>>822
wew lad. That was fast.
Your name is JACK NOIR.
You and your band of COHORTS stand opposite a ROGUE NINJA, who is halting your quest to find a HIDDEN SPACESHIP. You are suspended six stories in the air on a RAIL PLATFORM thanks to the MURDER of a RECENT ACQUAINTANCE.
After successfully AUTO-PARRYING your first stab, the NINJA has yet to make a move.
What will you do?
PRIMARY QUEST: LOCATE DECK 628B
Your INVENTORY:
>BADASS EYEPATCH
>ROBOTIC ARM STUB equipped with METAL FIST
>32 DOLLARS
>1x STANDARD-ISSUE KNIFE
>1x BLOODIED STEEL PIPE
>1x ELECTRIC TOOTHBRUSH
>1x ADVANCED CELL PHONE
>1x BLOODY APRON
>2x TOOTH HALVES
>1x PROSPITIAN TOOTH
>CAB DRIVER is equipped with: CELL PHONE, ARMCHAIR LEG, BAG OF PORK RINDS
>GARRY is equipped with: KEYCARD, CROWBAR, PACK OF GUM
OLD THREAD: >>/tg/46928683
>>7770
>Jack: Make creative use of the bloodied steel pipe to masturbate furiously in an effort to psych out the NINJA
>>7770
Jack: Tell the NINJA to go fuck himself
Whoops, I mean
OLD THREAD: >>>/tg/46928683
>>7806
Taking your trusty STEEL PIPE between your legs, you present a FAUX SHCLONG that you proceed to wave around to the PARTY'S ASTONISHMENT.
The NINJA advances, and SLICES. The FAUX SCHLONG becomes a 2x HALF IRON PIPE.
>>7828
Pissed off at this castration, as well as the preceding MURDER, you tell the NINJA to go fuck himself.
It does not reply. It instead continues to advance towards your PARTY.
You hear a voice.
"Oh no, onii-chan is dead!" and it's a sweet, tweety tone, though in despair and panic. But something pulls you up, and in the blackness, the light comes over your head, and splits in two.
There is a garishly painted skull on the left, and a long, crested horn with a steel tip on the right. Both radiate, and you can feel what they are. Death on the left, and the devil on the right.
[ ] Pick Death
[ ] Pick the Devil
[ ] Die
>>316
>[ ] Pick Death
>[ ] Pick the Devil
>[ ] Die
>>316
>[x] Pick Death
>>316
>[ ] Pick Death
You wake up and you find yourself to be the Nerd. Infront of you is a shitty console of your choice and and even shittier game.
Suddenly you find yourself putting the game into the console and the piece of fucking shit turns on.
How do you survive completing the game?
*Screams "WHAT A FUCKLOAD OF ASS"*
>>8443
Down it with beer
Fucking his wife in the ass while he watches