Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 4822. page

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>why does dating heavier women carry so much shame
it only does in your head, get over yourself

>>17316583
No it carries real shame. You see how much shit dudes give each other for dating fatties?

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>>17316601
1. grow a pair and tell anyone who talks shit about your choice in women to fuck off

2. stop being 16

>>17316570
Sorry to hear about your troubles, OP

Cutting to the chase, I think you need to identify:

>what has caused him to go back drinking
>what was it that kept him clean all this time
>what is it that could make him come clean this time

Talk to him again. Don't let him avoid it

At the very least, remind him of the trouble it caused his life before, and that it's going to be easier to stop and find help to stop now than it is even in a weeks time

If he is sober in the mornings and somewhat understanding that he's on a slope, there's a medication he can seek (disulfarim) that he can take when he's sober, and will make him incredibly, incredibly uncomfortable should he have any alcohol later in the day

>>17316604
Failing that, do what I did at an early age... Stop caring for him. Don't worry for him. Don't feel helpless. Fuck him and get on with your life

I'm doing just fine

>>17316612
THIS THIS THIS

I really hope things work out OP, but the sad fact is that a lot of these situations don't end well and you need to prepare yourself for that possibility.

I tried everything I could to help my dad through his struggles with alcoholism and drug addiction, but it was ultimately all for nothing. I wasted so many years caring for him and completely neglecting my own problems. I now struggle with a lot of mental issues from all those years of stress, and I doubt I'll ever be totally normal.

And at the end of the day, there really is NOTHING you can do! If he wants to drink, he's going to drink. So don't put too much effort into helping him out. Go ahead and give him a few chances. But don't stick around too long if things aren't getting better. Tell him good luck with his life, and move on with your own.

>>17316563
Read a book. There are books on etiquette and self help for FREE at the library, which may even have eBooks, if you think you're too cool for the internet.

>>17316563
From what I've noticed of my normie friends, they rely on one-sided psuedopsychological life sayings that only apply within their situation and not universally.

When my best friend went through a break up, she'd just repeat things to get her through it like "I'm just gonna do what makes me happy." and "chicks before dicks." and "he had a small dick anyways."

Just real fuckin liberating repetitive shit mantras. I think they commit and fake it until they make it.

Which I am completely incapable of doing. I am completely wishy washy, unable to commit to decisions until I reach the depth of my own issues. Then I slowly climb out of the hole I dug myself using the force of everything anyone ever told me about my own situation to form my own opinion on what direction I should go in. I feel like the more opinions I hear on my terrible situations The better I can over think and eventually reach a conclusion. Even if it takes me months of feeling miserable.

You just gotta go do it. Almost all of it's trial and error with some advice sprinkled in.

When I ask for advice on here, it's something that couldn't be answered on a specific forum, but I've made less threads over the years.

The more you do something though the easier it becomes. Doing something new the first time is almost always going to be the hardest because you don't know what to expect.

>>17316560
It's a pathetic thing to be on this site at 26. But yeah, do it cuz muh eccentricity

>>17316560
It might help, but it requires the deepest commitment, the most serious mind. Martial arts are a way of life…perhaps it is just the guidance you need. Just make sure you find a legit school.

>>17316692
How do I tell which schools are legit?

>>17316559
>I'm a Forever Alone female
Are you fugly landwhale or an insufferable backstabbing unstable cunt?

Easy: Join a charity group. It gives your life meaning, makes you feel better about yourself, probably helps you meet cool new people too.

Get a decent job you don't hate, be self-sufficient.
Cat is fine too.

Go with the flow, good life is always something else for everyone. My ways that make me feel content and comfy would make some people suicidal depressed living the same way and vice versa.

move to the outback

I'm assuming you live an apartment?

Once you 'break her in' she (probably) won't have any issue fucking in the bedroom. Until then you might want to find a better place in the apartment to shag, one that isn't immediately beside where someone else might be sleeping.

>>17316535
>she's worried that the noise will annoy the neighbors

And you actually believe this?
Sorry pal, she just doesn't want to have sex with you.

generally speaking anything larger than .22 are good enough to get the job done (though a .22 will kill you, just not quickly) your pic is a taurus which is a meme gun, don't buy it

If you want to kill yourself get a 12 gauge shotgun, they're usually quite cheap and when you use it to kill yourself there's no way you can fuck it up. Sometimes when people try to blow their brains out they accidentally jerk the gun at the last second and shoot their face off instead so they have to lie there in agonizing pain while they slowly bleed to death. That wont happen with a shotgun because it will literally cause your head to explode like a pumpkin, there will be nothing left. Be sure to do it in the woods or something though, that's one hell of a cleanup job.

>>17316537
Not OP here. I can't believe how fucking hard it is to commit suicide. Wtf.

>>17316542
eh not really, I work in EMS and I've seen quite a few suicide attempts. Most were half cocked cries for help where some girl downed a bottle of tylenol or something (which wont kill you, but it sure will fuck up your liver, so enjoy your liver failure in 5 years) but I have seen a few that were successful. Saw a woman who took a kitchen knife and sliced open her throat, the blood had spurted out to the other side of the room like a geyser. Then another time a guy had taken a fentanyl patch, which is a painkiller 100x stronger than morphine, and swallowed it. I'm sure he died painlessly. Then another time there was this guy who had used his belt to hang himself in his closet. He was a real little guy too, probably not even 5 feet and when I went into the room the door to the closet was shut so I opened it and BOO there he was, it was like one of those popout skeletons.

She wants you to talk to her without actually saying it.

Sounds like high school.

Go talk to her outside of class or parties.

>>17316518
it sure does.

We're in college tho, I have a gf outside of college and she has a boyfriend , both of them are my classmates.

I find the whole thing awkward and don't know how to settle it, if shes just being nice, it would all be cool.

>>17316558
I would probably steer clear.

Sounds like she's trying to find someone to cheat on her bf with. The only time that went well for me was when the girl was on and off with her bf so much you couldn't tell when they were dating and when they weren't.

>>17316485
get over your oedipus complex

>>17316485
Motherly AND submissive?
I agree with >>17316493

try being an assertive little boy?

How do you know you are attractive? Just for calling yourself attractive you sound unattractive though you are being anonymous on the internet so I guess that's okay.

>>17316499
Well I'm going to sound like I'm sucking myself off but I have
>high cheek bones
>dimples
>defined jawline
>nice haircut/good taste in fashion

But like you said, it's anonymous, so I understand if you don't believe me.

>>17316511
No no I mean I do believe you, I just personally wouldn't like a person who thinks high of themselves irl, though you probably don't go around yelling I'm attractive and maybe it's just that me being low profile as fuck makes me want others to be the same, which is retarded. And you are on the internet so it's okay. I mean Idk I think I have a problem with over confident people.
Well it's great that you have those features and... I don't know any real advice for you sorry! I feel the same as you about the whole random hook ups thing.

tl;dr ignore my post, it doesn't contribute anything

>>17316472
how do you feel about it?

>>17316475
Pretty good. Sex with my last relationship was extremely unsatisfying because she had been masturbating at an extremely young age, and could only cum with toys, but never wanted to use toys during sex.

Favorite anime?

>>17316462
Revenge lays are not a thing

When it comes to work I generally keep to a "don't shit where you eat" policy.

how did you find out?
If you found out in a way that would definitely point to you, you need to decide if the benefits of telling outweigh the cons of him finding out you told

if you found out by seeing them in a park or somewhere where anybody else could have seen them, tell the wife without a second thought.

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Sorry this isn't the usual relationshit

Learn to reign in your impulses. Any job that lets you regularly spew offensive things isn't work sticking with in the long term because they're low wage.

What were you doing that bothered them? Were you two close?

There was this guy that was sort of my friend in school. When we finished school he used to tell me that the college he went to was harder than mine, which I found annoying and rude. Also he kept telling me I should get a job and lose my virginity to a prostitute. Also once I was hanging out with his stupid friends and one of them wanted to share a very alcoholic drink with me. I was okay with it but the guy that was supposed to be my friend came over, took the glass and dumped the content in the toilet. Then came back and told me "I won't let you get drunk" and his dumb friends were all like "well said". After that I stopped texting him. He sent me some texts like "how are you, why don't you reply? I hope you are okay" but I didn't reply to him because fuck him.

>>17316439
When I was around 20-21 all my high school friends stopped replying to me. I didn't understand why or what I did.

Most of it was for shitty reasons. One of my best friend's boyfriend didn't like me. He thought for some reason, that I was drunk or high all the time and was a bad influence. While I did do some underage drinking in high school, it stopped when I got older. Hurt that my best friend just listened to him and didn't even hear my side or how my life was going.

Another best friend just joined a sorority and I never heard from her again pretty much.

And just recently, my best friend who stuck it out with me all the way through this, we just moved further away from each other, work all the time, and just started to drift.


People like this, just shouldn't be considered good friends. Personally, I've been best friendless and nearly friendless for about 3 years. It's really hard to make friends with people mid-twenties. Going back and trying to talk to old friends is something I've failed to do. Personally, I'm still pretty hurt. Talking now would be weird. They've missed out on a huge chunk of my developing adulthood. I'm nothing like I was in high school, they've probably changed too.

What I'd suggest to you, which I didn't, is go out and try to make new friends.

It just sounds like a lack of compassion/empathy

There's not a lot of connection in this hypothetical situation between your "emotional needs" and those of others

There's something you long for find it

>>17316438
You are weak now, and only just set foot on the path to social manipulation and achieving your dreams.

The next step should be controlling your emotions and negative impulsiveness, you will not be able to do this instantly.
Try recognizing patterns in these sort of thoughts, and when you do try not to act on them.
Instead try asking a question regarding the situation so you can pick up on what their actual goal or motivation is, if any.
Like this you will be able to learn things about people, sometimes without them knowing, and you can use this to manipulate them into becoming your personal emotional toybags.