Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 38. page

>OMG let's try to get him to message you this, it'll be so good

Women are dumb. I like hanging out with them but they're so dumb. Probably cause they're on reddit too much and have a possible brain tumor/numerous health problems

HAHAHAHAHAHA damn that sucks familia

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>>18731821
Don't. She's not worth it.
Find someone worth your time who feels the same about you.
Look online, go to activities outside school, find likeminded people you get along with.

>>18731821
You dont. She doesnt like you. Forget her.

If you werent a nerd and were fine with women she may still not have liked you and you still would have stood no chance.

Same way in the future a lot of women will not like you and reject you whether youre a whimpy little poindexter or a chad. And youd still have to deal with it and move on.

So do so. This is life. We all experienced this. There are no magic words or wave of the wand or perfect actions that will change her mind. She is not attracted to you. End of story.

OCT 2014 on the morning I was supposed to go to drill for Army National Guard, I was about to kill myself with a shot to the head from a handgun.

For some reason I couldn't do it and I asked family to take me to hospital. I was pink slipped into a hospital and taken to the 4th floor. I followed their program and then was submitted to a crisis unit for further programs and medication.

I followed what they said and took all the medications offered. Near the end of my 10-day stay there I happened to OD on the medication they gave me. I think they gave me 5 or more medications in a matter of those 10 short days.

I could barely talk and my head would constantly be shaking all day every day.

I was taken to numerous doctors and I was diagnosed with Tardive Dyskinesia. I was offered an operation where they would install a pacemaker inside of my body to feed wires to my brain to constantly give me electrical shocks to my brain to stimulate certain parts of it. I declined. Too fucking invasive.

One day I stopped constantly shaking and my family were happy for me. But I didn't care much. I also stopped talking completely to people IRL. For that, I was diagnosed with Conversion Disorder. I rarely talk to people online, but only when I know I am alone at home. I don't want people to get the idea that just because I can talk to people online that I can talk to people IRL just fine.

I went through many different therapists trying to find the root of my problems. I had to use a notepad, text messaging, or a computer to communicate. None of them helped.

I was referred to a consultation to get ECT. Supposedly Electroconvulsive Therapy was the last resort when therapy and medication doesn't work. I denied at first, but then was coerced into getting it after one day I text my mother and aunt that I wished I could get Physician Assisted Suicide. My mother called the police on me and I was sent to mental hospital again where I was mistreated and suffered. They said I could voluntarily (it wasn't voluntary since I didn't want to get it in the first place) get the ECT done or they would court order for me to stay at mental hospital and be forced to do anything they want to do to me.

I wrote down that I would get the ECT. I went through 11 sessions of it. After all those sessions, it did not help me at all. In fact, my memory and concentration are horribly worse after getting it done.

So here I am, getting monthly SSDI checks for the following conditions:
Major Depression
Severe Social Anxiety
Complex-PTSD
Agoraphobia
Tardive Dyskinesia
Conversion Disorder

I sit in a bedroom almost 99% of the time where I don't talk to anyone at all and don't go outside at all unless I am forced to for medical reasons. When I am forced to go outside, I constantly shake all over and can barely walk. Shaking so much that it hurts my head and my muscles.

I can only go outside of my room for bathroom or kitchen purposes when no one else is around in sight. If someone is there, I have to stay in my room until whoever is there is gone or asleep. Which is why I store food and water in my room when I can't go outside to get food in kitchen.

Oh...

Damn I was really hoping post college woes weren't unique at all

:(

>>18731686
>Text me if you're cullour
???

>>18731686
>34

yeah how many kids does '''she'''' have

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>>18731686
>curious
that's trap lingo.

>>18731669

You are forgetting that expenses are roughly 3-5 times higher in Western Europe, housing is ridiculously expensive, taxes, road taxes, food, you name it

You will still earn more, even after all that, but you won't see that really big bump in life quality you desire, because your 4x median salary in EE is worth much more than the 2x median salary in WE will be

Denmark my friend.

>>18731765

We're full, Sweden is more accepting of foreigners

>>18731620
You unfuck your life by working on constant self improvement, one small step at a time. Don't think about who you are now, but think about the person you want to become, and how to get there. Get rid of bad habits and replace them with better ones.

Cut back on fapping. Cut back on porn. Force yourself to cook a new meal every now and again. Find a hobby that involves more than aimlessly browsing a website. I don't know what makes you tick, but it's all the small stuff that adds up to you feeling better about yourself.

I totally get the "surges of energy" that you're describing. To have any long lasting effect you need to change habits and routine, not perform one-off actions.

As for your reputation, if you're the guy that parties too hard, that's hardly a bad thing. It's a reason to get invited to parties.

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>>18731654
I understand, thanks.
However, how do I fight the feeling of constant self-pity? This is the opposite of taking responsibility. I compare myself to my peers which are, in my opinion, completely mature and self-reliant people. I have tried to imagine that my parents are long gone, my close friend is long gone. But it only made me more miserable.

bump for mutual interest

>>18731619
If you can't be yourself around your friends, maybe it's time to start asking whether they're really your friends. I know from experience that it can be exhausting putting on a mask all the time, pretending to be someone you're not.

Either way, you have an active social life, and you've had a single rejection that wasn't overly painful or awkward. Disappointing sure, but things don't sound that bad overall.

>>18731619

dont for a single minute that this girl only said no because you're the 'funny guy'. chemistry is a very real thing and so is attraction. First thigns first, if she didn't find you attractive, her particular brand of attractive, then it wasn't going to happen. this doesn't make you ugly by any means, but girls have tastes and if they just arent into you to begin with than there is little else you can do to change that.

its hard to find the line between your actual personality and some persona you compulsively put forward. in many ways that persona is your personality if oyu adhere to it. we are our actions more than anything. if you want that to change, change it.

it starts by thinking before you speak. ask your self is the joke that comes to mind REALLY that funny? is it worth saying? here are some things you should avoid

1) the obvious joke.

if the joke is just 'your mom' or 'thats what she said' or something in that vain, dont say it. especially if you already said it that week. don't become the guy who goes for the easy laugh.

>self depreciating humor

if the joke involves making fun of your self, dont do it. unless the joke is so far removed from reality that you are clearly being facetious. even then, id avoid it. you notice all the attractive men dont do self depreciating humor, they go the opposite. jokes about how obsceneley large their sex organs are, jokes about how MUCH they get laid, not how little. they use humor as a way to build them up. no one outright believes the jokes, but it changes the way you think about them.

>>18731653
finally,
>no jokes that are funny because their bad.

if you are going to bring up a pun, or something equally simple, dont. its bad, and you already know you are going to try and save it by pretending its so bad its funny. thats not humor. and it is annoying. dont do it. just dont.


and at the end of the day always circle back to rule 1 and just THINK before you make a joke. only say it if its truly funny. even if its not a 'your mom' or 'thats what she said' its likely not THAT funny. and even if it might be, it doesn't mean it needs to be said if its simple and crude.

one thing you can do is just wait and see. often times when i deem a joke to be 'too simple' someone else will end up saying it. if someone else came up with it then you know it cant be THAT good. its just what everyone else is also thinking but discarding because its too simple.


>but i feel like my friends dont really know me

and thats a hugeb ummer, but why not take the time to get to know them? often times when you do that you will find opportunities to share and relate. i had a friend come over one night, he was bored, and he just asked to see the games i play, the shows i watch, the books i read. it was amazing for someone to take an interest in me like that and never insult any of the little details i dont always share. along the way he shared a LOT with me, it became one of those nights where you just talk about life and your place in it and what it all means. and it s tarted cuz someone took an interest in me, and then it went both ways.

Talk to them like you'd talk to a guy friend, just forget for a while that you want to put your dick inside that hole between their legs.

It's not that hard.

>>18731645
It's not that they're women so much as that they're strangers.

>>18731758
What will you lose by striking up a conversation? If you know nothing but a bit of time will be lost, just go for it. It really isn't that hard.

OP u did the right thing, don't feel bad about it, she was probably not suited for you.

Respect OP, I'm currently trying to break things off with a girl right now. It's my first "relationship" even though we've never called ourselves boyfriend and gf but it just seems like it's not going anywhere. I'm scared and don't want to hurt her feelings but I know I have to do it.

>>18731589
I'm in the exact same situation and just broke up with my gf today too. It had to be done and you did nothing wrong.

self-bump

>>18731581
I don't worry about it, because of my girl does cheat then that's a pretty good indicator that she is a bad person for me and I can move on

I am only afraid of not knowing

>>18731581
Eh, worrying about it won't help. Love her, enjoy being with her, keep things simple. Deal with it if it happens. Don't ruin your sanity, happiness and relationship by thinking about it.

b

>Part of it is that my feet problem has got worse over the years

You know that you cant just go posting stuff like that without going into more detail right? Either tell is about the feet problem or do not mention it at all.

Also Meditate.

I'm dying here send help

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I would also like to know this, have a bump, OP

It's in my opinion and experience that online dating apps don't work for everyone.

>>18731523
About what do you fight?

>>18731838
Cheating or suspicions of cheating

If you dont want your dirty laundry aired, run the fucking washing machine. He isnt in the wrong, hes extremely frustrated and all you want to do is hide the issues not solve them. Sounds like its time to break up imho

>>18731505
I like sleeping on my back.
Maybe try a different pillow? (I have a flat one)
And you could also try to put one or both arms over your head (I do so sometimes while sleeping).

>>18731532
I like to use two pillows, should I be using only one?

Do it anon. Do it for both of us. I've let so many girls slip through my fingers because I was too scared to ask them out. I kept making excuses and sitting on my hands and they took that to mean that I wasn't interested. Be a braver man than I.

>>18731490
On the cheek huh? Sounds liked a missed opportunity.

> talking about the kissing/hand holding last night

Why would you do that? Other than a casual "I had fun the other night" I wouldn't go there. She was there, she knows. Sounds awkward to bring up.

If you want something, you take responsibility for it, plain and simple. Want to go out with someone? Ask them out. It's really not anymore complicated than that, and the sooner you get over the fear of rejection, the better.
My mother used to say that when a guy is finally ready to ask a girl out, she's usually thinking to herself "fucking finally, how much more obvious could I have been?"