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Decide I'm done being a virgin at 23
Call good looking hooker of Backpage
Arrives and looks nothing like the pics, she's old and prob 220lbs
I say fuck it and put my dick inside her
Nut in 15 seconds
She's like "wow, so fast"
I apologize profusely
She leaves after 5 min after I've given her $250 for an "hour"
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>>34912162
Kek, guess that I'll be better if I stay virgin
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>fucking goat
>start thinking about how I'm probably the biggest dick she's had
>cum buckets
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You failed at being a wizard.
You will never have the power
Okay so... how do robots feel about pet play, or the idea of having an actual female as pet, rather than a partner?
Sure, you'd have to take care of her and all that shit, but she will be obedient and subservient to you, and if she's a bad girl you can punish her in any way that you see fit.
I don't know, I just think it's fucking hot. Maybe I'm weird. I don't think I'd care if she was somewhat unattractive either, as long as she whimpered, listened to me, was tight and acted like a dirty fucking puppy.
Am I fucked?
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1XqydrykjLs
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>>34912098
>tfw i want to be the pet
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>>34912115
That's pretty fucking hot too, honestly. I wouldn't mind owning a few lonely, depraved boy dogs... I wouldn't give them nearly as much attention as the bitches, especially if I needed them as breeders...
But surely you'd take the cock and get some treats, so long as you didn't whine a lot or try to fuck one of the females.
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>>34912098
You think youre fucked?
Dude, my dream girl is chubby, wears cowprint clothes, is lactating and is 100% OK with being milked like a cow and being treated like one.
>tfw no hucow gf
Anonymous
Aha, your Anon, right?. 2017-02-16 03:20:48 Post No.34912089
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Aha, your Anon, right?. 2017-02-16 03:20:48 Post No.34912089
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Please sit down.
>now, tell me; what was it exactly that the police found on your computer?
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2gb of mp3 files of women crying
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>>34912089
w-well pictures of niggers being executed, isis propaganda videos and some stuff about how retards are funny, but it was for the lulz
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>>34912089
My little pony porn..
Which by the way wasn't a original post
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>tfw you'll never be in an RPG and embark on an adventure with close friends
>tfw you'll never delve deep into your worlds history and follow paths that men shouldn't
>tfw you'll never uncover a truth that would shatter the foundations of the worlds religion
>tfw you'll never find a droplet of blood encased in glass thats said to belong to an old God that would bring about destruction if it were to ever shatter in the Grand Cathedral
>tfw you'll never present proof to the Archbishop of the religion and be branded a heretic
>tfw you'll never fight for your life to escape
>tfw that droplet of blood encased in glass will never fall down the steps of the Cathedral and shatter
>>tfw Eldritch abominations will never descend from the Cosmos to feast upon the world and begin the new cycle
>tfw you'll never fight tooth and nail to protect your world and stop them
>tfw you'll never bring about the Apocalypse as you have ever cycle
>tfw you're destined to destroy your own world because you're the bastard son of the oldest Great One
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>you will never have magic at your fingertips
>you will never chant spells and cast enchantments on things/people
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>>34912017
Thank god. "Chosen one" storylines are the worst.
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>tfw will never go to the Japanese countryside and be friends with cool people while getting embroiled in a murder mystery
>tfw Chie will never be my wife
This is it. Why must fate torment my soul by imprisoning me in this ugly shell of 3D flesh?
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I want to write a short story, possibly a book, where should I start?
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>>34911988
Try killing yourself, see how it goes.
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>>34911988
Get some lived experience. Go for a walk, wander into parties, spend some time with nature.
The best artists spend their time living, not honing their craft. If they're talented anyway.
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>>34911988
First lay out what you want to write, characters, setting, direction, major points of the story.
Set up a schedule to do X amount of words per day. If you were to write 500 words a day you'd of written 15,000 words in a 30 day month which is the average for a short novel, but still a lot less than the traditional novel which is 40,000. Aka, small enough to commit to it everyday but not overwork yourself or rather only work in moment's of inspiration.
After editing your book for awhile for things like consistency, flow, and errors you can then choose to contact a publisher near you or go straight to e-book for self publishing on a website like amazon. The former would be harder considering most publishers would want you to have a following already, and its hard to get good book publishing deals. Be ready to convert your book into appropriate formats should you choose to self publish it.
Best of luck anon.
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What word do I use to refer to women's breasts without sounding juvenile or overly clinical?
>Breasts.
>Boobs.
>Tits.
>Titties.
>Other.
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You call them Tiddies
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Bags of sand. Seriously though, chest would suffice as a tactful but not overly clinical term for them, I think.
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>>34911920
>can I see your mammaries, m'lady?
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tfw no bf to put me on a leash and collar and make me his pet
tfw no bf to rub my face on his musky cock and balls and make me beg to lick and suck every inch
tfw no bf to sit on my face and let me lick his asshole and thrust my tongue inside until he cums all over me
I want to be a good boy and be an anons pet!
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>>34911799
>Tits & timestamp
Or
>Go back to tumbler
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Will you greet me joyfully at the door every time I come home?
Will you cooperate with obedience training in return for treats?
Will you sleep on the floor next to my bed, or a locked dog crate?
Will you wear a collar 24/7 and allow me to leash you for walks?
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>>34911887
>I want to be a good boy
l2fuckingread dumbass
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Why do normies get so mad when you tell them you dont care about travelling to other countries?
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They don't. You're just making things up again.
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>>34912209
My professor started chatting me up because we were walking onto campus from the train together. She told me to visit France and I told her I would prefer not to, alluding to how "different" it has become. She became rather quiet and sad, broke route, and headed into the building by herself.
I accidentally revealed my power level- maybe OP does as well and is a further level of autistic that can't tell after the fact.
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>>34911759
That's a badass big sister
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Why don't mothers teach their sons the true nature of women? Are they themselves deluded?
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What would you call the "true nature" of women?
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>>34911725
they're deluded
originaI
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Because that is usually the fathers job and good luck getting one of those in modern society
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How you become more cool?
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>>34911640
>wear shades
>eat chips and dip at lunch
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>tfw no wan wan with thick eyebrows to cuddle
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Walk slow as hell smoking a cigg
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This pupper loves soda
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>>34911610
>tfw no wan wan who loves soda
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Brush his teeth, sugar isn't good for teeth and can give them cavities too!
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>>34911736
I don't actually give it to him, he just really likes drinks like chocolate milk ands stuff
>>34911729
What's a wan wan
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Is plebbit unironically becoming conservative now?
That post would've got 0 up votes and 30 salty comments if it was uploaded in 2015.
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>190 uplikes
Thats really nothing
The_donald is one of the biggest subs anyway and its /pol/ lite
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>190 upvotes
>of millions of users
You aren't very smart, are you Anon
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>>34911600
>>34911614
r/starterpacks is known to be more liberal like any other subreddit you retards.
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the usual
tags: r9k, omegler9k, robot9001, r9komegle
post waifus and husbandos
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>>34911552
You seriously need to stop, this is getting sad, let these threads die naturally.
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>>34911567
This is the only way I can talk to people face to face, please don't ruin this for me.
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>>34911552
bumpsdsrgsergegetfnghmjmjmh
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I already posted this on /b/ but I am in hurry and its happening now.
Sup robots Please help me I have big dilemma.
>Be me
>Tell my friend his bitch is cheating on him
>He starts to believe me
>He wanted to hax her facebook acc
>I told him I will help him with it
Because I am fucking sadist and I want to see him destroyed.
She is cheating on him, I am 80% sure.
But the thing what will she do ? If he is going to break up with her ? Women are emotional cunts that will do anything.
She may even bring police into this because she is cheating cunt and now she is victim.
And I will be the wrong one because I am the one doing dirty job.
So I dont feel safe now that I realized this.
What should I do?
Should I just cancel this ?
Should I just tell my friend the super hax didnt work ?
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Can you even get into the account though?
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>>34911561
Yes thats the least problem.
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>>34911580
Do it first and then see what the situation is
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Once again /gif/ banned me for a minor offence.
Which board has the worst mods in your experience?
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>minor offense
I bet you were requesting, you little faggot
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/mlp/
Thank you hiro for making /trash/ my new home
never forgetio hiro's spaghettios
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>>34911540
I had my request laying on /r/ for two hours and fulfilled other peoples requests...then made a thread on /gif/ and posted 10 webms into it, got my answer in 5 mins.