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I'm sure you anons get this a lot, but how do I stop procrastinating?
I need to study for my midterms, I need to do my homework, fuck, I need to do things that would take only a few minutes to take care of, but I become lethargic and unworried about everything until the night before it's due.
Most days, I don't even remember I have work. I just come home exhausted and fuck around for a few hours and waste all my study/work time. Other days, I have the whole day off and just goof off and never get anything done until the last two hours before I go to sleep, if even that.
I feel fucking terrible all the time and I hate myself, and I want to be better. I'm trying my best to put all my affairs in order but I just know that in a week or two I'll be back into the same bad habits, fucking everything up like usual.
How do I beat procrastination? How do I become a better, more dedicated worker? I don't know what to do, and I don't want to fail at my one chance to have a better life because I'm a worthless scumbag who can't even work for an hour without immediately taking a 4+ hour """break""" afterwards.
What do I do?
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>>18713684
Do it right now.
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>>18713684
You have key triggers for your procrastination habits. Try changing things up like working in a different place than you usually do. Living room versus personal room or whatever. Recognizing the triggers is important to dropping a habit, and laziness is a habit like any other. Stay away from all electronics ever, you can't handle the possible distractions. Try to get engaged with your work, reward yourself for doing shit without procrastinating and so on.
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>>18713684
I've never tried it, but some people swear by the "pomodoro technique"
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Is it possible to actively dislike everyone? I have never had a friend that I sincerely liked. I pretend to like them, but secretly do not. When people talk to me, I get frustrated and annoyed. I don't like myself either, so it isn't an elitism thing. It's gotten so bad that now the main source of interaction I have is on imageboards because I can close the tab and everyone ceases to exist. THe people on imageboards piss me off too, though.
People tell me that "I just haven't found the right people"; I'm starting to get less confident that this is true. Where are those people? I have never found them
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now that I think about it, you're all probably just going to say I'm just being edgy
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>>18713646
either you're incredibly unlucky and have just met horrible people, or you simply cannot relate to anyone
Have you tried consulting a therapist?
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>>18713893
I've seen over a dozen therapists, counselors, psychiatrists, etc. I didn't like them, which probably had a role in my inability to benefit from the treatment
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my girlfriend broke up with me a week ago, at first I was alright, I was sad remembering the good moments but at the same time remembering the bad things about her compensated and I didn't feel really that bad, but as more time passes the worse I feel and its starting to hurt really bad, I thought it got easier with time not the opposite
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>>18713644
ive felt that pain my whole life, best of luck
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fuck, I lost the game
Anyway, it does get easier with time, but this does not mean it's linear, it may be easy at first, then get suddenly more difficult, then gradually get easier with time.
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>>18713644
Well, you see, there are three possible paths after this:
A. You move on as fast as you can, by finding someone else, it doesn't matter so much if she suits your preferences, I mean, this is a situation in which you are rushing things, and by doing this ending things with this one wouldn't really matter in the first place. (A lot of people do this).
B. You don't move on as fast as you can, looking for another person but not being desperate. This could take time, and you'll suffer like you're now. The key to not fall into case C is to keep your confidence up. (A lot of people do this).
C. You don't move on as fast as you can, but you don't look for another person either. This could take you down another path, in which you find love again, or not. In this case, not being confident or even hating yourself could lead to sad consequences, never getting back on your feet. (Unfortunately, many people do this).
Choose.
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I've tried being nice
I've tried being mean
I've tried dressing up
I've tried dressing down
I've tried smiling
I've tried playing hard to get
I've tried my best and i've given up
but still I don't get it
Why do women ignore me? Over 10 years of this shit, every single time I have tried to meet someone they immediately shutter away.
I know i'm not the best looking but i've seen plenty of unattractive couples that just doesn't make sense to me. I've gone for people way above my league, i've gone for people way below my league. None of them want anything to do with me.
Am I just to assume i'm damaged somehow but can't see it?
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>>18713642
>Why do women ignore me?
youre trying to hard
stop acting and just conduct yourself naturally
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What is your age, education level and salary
post a photo of yourself
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>>18713642
have you tried being yourself, comfortable with yourself, and at [more or less] objectively acceptable standards of personality, appearance and behavior?
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how do you talk to girls walking alone in the halls at school?
saw this really cute girl at the library, but i didnt say anything since we were at the library. BUT THEN, i see her walking past my class as i was waiting for my professesor. Can I do anything or will i iust look creepy.
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Just say hi OP
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>>18713784
and then what
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I think hobbies might have worked for me sometimes - if she's reading a book and you like reading, or doing a drawing and you like art, or whatever, oyu can ask what she's reading or say 'cool you can draw' or whatever.
You may get rejected but lots of people are probably nice and if they don't want to talk will just say something like 'yah, reading this' and keep on reading to give you the sign that they don't want to talk
But some people will actually start talking to you, which means they don't mind talking.
I think it's possibly easier than just straight up asking someone out.
I donno for sure, so take my advice with some discernment for what it is.
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I'm in a relationship (2yrs+) and in university. I've developed a severe lack of interaction with really pretty girls because of it, and while I love my girlfriend and don't plan on breaking up with her - I'd like to start socializing with pretty women again.
My question is mostly an ethical one - Given I'm in a happy relationship and want to keep it that way for the near future, is it wrong to flirt with girls casually if I have no intention of following through? Is it really that wrong to start building a harem of women that are interested in me but can't have me?
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Flirting is only wrong if your girlfriend is uncomfortable by the idea
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>>18713575
Maybe not entirely flirting, but starting to develop more female relationships where ultimately they are attracted to me.
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>>18713573
Would you want your gf to flirt with other men?
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My friend told me he considers me to be his his closest and best friend he's ever had. (I'm a girl) ever since we've met 8 years ago. I know there's stuff he tells me that he doesn't even tell his gf. I love and care for him deeply and I know he will always love his gf. He recently kissed me a few times these past months despite me confessing my feelings for him last year. I don't know why. His gf and I don't even like eachother. He says he feels like him and I have more in common. I can't be with him nor do I want to continue having feelings for him. I just wanna be a good friend to him. How do I stop feeling head over heels for this guy and just see him as a friend?
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>>18713570
Please get with this man :'( this sounds beautiful and so tragic
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>>18713570
Bait? Whatever. Anyways, lemme point you at the problem...he's probably using you as the back-up. And ofc his girlfriend doesn't like you--you kissed her boyfriend.
The boyfriend seems like a borderline cheater and an asshole that's not even worth the time. Think further about that...he hurt his own gf, and is possibly stringing you and her along without care for either of your feelings.
To be honest the one way is just to stay tf away from him. Easy.
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>>18713576
Like I said he doesn't love me that way.>>18713582
Maybe so. The reason I still wanna remain friends with this guy is because he's been a good friend. Doing me favors, giving me a place to stay, convincing me to stay in school, etc. And he still does those things.
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I turned 30 today and somehow I am not a Wizard. To be honest I still can believe I actually had sex but I did and I do count it as one of my greatest life acchievements just next to moving out of my parents house.
Half a life ago I was an average hikki with no friends and no expectations for life but somehow I feel like my life has improved and I believe that this shithole actually helped me mainly by calling me names and making predictions that I fought with all my might to break.
Anyway I didn't come here to complain or for advice just to thank you faggots for being you, not just this board but 4chan in general.
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You're all right, OP. Happy birthday.
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I'm only 4 years away from wizard and nothing will steer me off my path.
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>>18713453
Thank you.
>>18713454
Good luck with that but I would advice that if you ever get the chance to get some action don't pass on the sex.
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Is rape really as frequent as it sounds? It sounds like every classic degenerate guy is raping girls from rumors and I hear multiple rumors about the same person a lot
How can girls even trust guys at all anywhere? Cops are raping people I hear stories of chicks all the time getting raped just smoking with dudes. Constantly at parties tons of chicks I've talked to had some story the rape subreddit is constantly being posted stories that all sound the same from girls. I literally hear about it every day now.
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yeah, that's how it is. don't know what to tell you.
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>>18713442
So just avoid girls that drink and hook up and do degenerate shit?
How the fuck do girls have guy friends. I wouldn't even be able to talk to a dude in a public place and I'd automatically assume everyone is a rapist.
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>>18713429
Rapes happen more often by someone the victim knows rather than some rando. Sometimes it happens when the guy is hurt, misreads body language, feels he deserves sex, etc. It's often about power or "teaching her a lesson" more than purely getting off.
Anonymous
I can't stop myself from talking to other women 2017-09-11 11:06:19 Post No.18713388
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I can't stop myself from talking to other women 2017-09-11 11:06:19 Post No.18713388
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I can't stop myself from talking to other women
Anonymous
2017-09-11 11:06:19
Post No. 18713388
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I met my girlfriend last year, it was a whirlwind thing, we were in love after the first date, it sounds cringeworthy but it's true, it's the closest thing I've felt to true love. before her, id cheated on every girlfriend I've had, I was a scummy guy in general, I guess I still am. this woman is beautiful, to me she is perfect, yet I can't seem to stop wanting to talk to other women. it's so pathetic of me, I start flirting with someone else and then feel terrible straight after. I could never meet these people, I guess I just like the feeling of that 'chase'. It's my problem, I know that, I guess it's partly from having very cold parents and the rest of my family abandoning me, I don't know, but I desperately want to stop what I'm doing, it would kill her and it's killing me.
has anyone else done this? how do I stop it? it's not cool, funny or anything else. I'm well aware it makes me seem pathetic, and as I write this I feel like the worst person in the world. I really do love her
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In your previous relationships (the ones you weren't in love with), how did you justify cheating?
Did you just not care that much about their feelings? I'm not trying to put you down, just trying to understand why you did that to them.
Have you imagined what it would be like to be cheated on by your current girlfriend? Do you think it would hurt? Have you ever been cheated on in the past?
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It's not pathetic, its not cringy, its just natural. You're a man, you want to spread your seed wide and far. It's not your job to select the "best of the best" mates like women do, you just spray and spread your DNA
given that biological context, feel comfort in the fact that women would rather share a high value man with other woman rather than commit to a beta. Knowing this, you can feel more comfort in flirting with other girls. In fact your SO probably will be more on edge and do more to please you knowing you can snag other girls at any time
But don't cheat. if you really cant control yourself just ask for an open arrangement kind of thing. cheating is scummy and you will be called out eventually
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>>18713396
I just didn't care, in that specific time I'd rather have done what I wanted instead of thinking about someone else's feelings. If my girlfriend cheated on me I'd be distraught.
I think it honestly stems from immaturity and trust issues, I just need to stop it. I don't want to be a dick anymore
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Hey, /adv/, I'm having some dad issues. For a bit of context, I'm 20 years old and my father was absent for most of my life. Not that he couldn't see me, but he chose not to and out right avoided me for most of my childhood, even when I tried to connect. I've seen him for a total of four times, all if which were places where he showed up for the food (parties and such). I eventually figured he wasn't worth my time. But then on 2012 he got a hold of my number and texted me that he wanted to talk. I called him and all he wanted to do was sperg about the Avengers movie so I hanged up. Since then he's texted me everyday saying "I love you". All of which I ignored, but recently his text said "I wish you'd just tell me to fuck off so I'd know you're alive." Which really got to me. Am I a bad person for ignoring him?
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>>18713369
No. Your father treated you as an inconvenience all your life, you owe him nothing. He's your father in the biological sense, nothing more.
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That text was obv conversation bait. You don't owe him anything op.
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Fuck him. He ain't done shit for you, why should you do anything for him?
He's probably just trying to get in contact to ask for money anyways
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How do you act nice to a woman without being a white knight cuck who puts pussy on a pedestal who eventually gets used.
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Step one: Kill yourself
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Non-meme by having sex with her.
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>>18713313
have ambitions and goals in life.
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So i got back in touch with this girl I knew about a year ago, and we got talking, and decided to go on a date on Saturday. I drive down to her house, she lives about 40 minutes away. Id remembered her favourite flowers, and brought her a bouquet. She almost cried when she saw them and she was very happy. Since I don't know the town, I ask her what she wants to do. We end up spending the day at the pools (good way to see a girls body too) and then go out for dinner. It's a great time. I make her laugh, we flirt, and there is really good chemistry. We end up going back to her place, she said i can stay the night if i want because it's a long drive back to mine, and her parents are gone untill tomorrow. We talk in her kitchen, then she asks if I'd like to go somewhere more comfortable. She says the living room is a mess so we should go to her bedroom, I'm not complaining. She puts on Netflix, were sat on the bed. I smoothly say that the headboard isn't the most comfortable, maybe we should lay down. We do, and start making out. Make eachother laught too, it's good chemistry. She's wearing a short dress, so slide my hands down her pants and play with her wet af pussy. After not too long she starts convulsing down there, and I can tell it's good. So I'm playing with her tits and pussy, were making out, and it's good. She tells me before we go too far, she doesn't want to have sex, because she only got out of a relationship a month ago. He was a piece of shit. We end up falling asleep together. When we wake up, we get fresh, then have more fun. Later she tells me that's she's sorry, but she doesn't see it working out. She says that when she woke up next to me her first thought was her ex, and she doesn't think that she can feel anything for me while she's still messed up. She wants to just be friends, but that would be awkward as fuck. That was two weeks ago and I've not spoken with her since. Did I mess up? I think her friend might have swayed her opinion too.
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>>18713294
You can still salvage it, just get in contact with her again. Tell her you've thought about it and she's worth waiting for
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You have done nothing wrong. The problem is on her end. If she solves it you will be contacted if not then move on.
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>>18713294
>what did I do wrong
>so I got back in touch with this girl
Right there.
Anonymous
Dinner dates reeeeeeeeeeee 2017-09-11 10:13:04 Post No.18713279
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Dinner dates reeeeeeeeeeee 2017-09-11 10:13:04 Post No.18713279
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Dinner dates reeeeeeeeeeee
Anonymous
2017-09-11 10:13:04
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Why are dinner dates so popular? There's nothing pleasant about them. Figuring out the person, awkward glances as we eat, uncomfortable periods of silence, not enjoying your food to avoid grossing out your date, being confined to sitting at one spot with your date. What part of these "dates" makes someone want to go for a second one? What in the absolute fuck? Why do people enjoy torturing themselves in these situations?? Are there better ways to go about dates? I'm asking because soon I will go on one and I'm not sure sitting awkwardly in front of them as we look for something to talk about bc my communication skills suck.
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>>18713279
What the fuck anon? Why don't you go on mini golf? Bowling? Roller coasters? Walks on the beach? Bars? Dave & Busters? Are you literally so autistic that you can't think of a better date than a dinner date?
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>>18713288
Because I'm poor you assuming cock
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Dude, first time dates should always be chill and casual.
You're socially retarded.
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>Tfw never enjoyed being in the spotlight
>Never really liked extended family
>As a result havent celebrated bday in years
>Tfw my 21st bday is approaching
>Parents are urging me to get them organize a huge family get together
>Extended family trying to help out with plans
>I literally do not want this but everybody is trying to force me
What do?
Its not a huge life or death scenario but I have an anxiety disorder and even talk about the get together makes me panicky, I know for a fact I would not enjoy it
Rented out pub rooms with depressing ballons and tipsy family members who dont know a thing about me sounds like the least appealing way to spend my bday
What do? How do I fell them to kindly fuck off?
Afraid of disappointing my parents, they seem upset that I havent celebrated any major birthdays and I think they might need this? Idk
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well, I think you should invite them over. Maybe they will give you nice stuff as presents, maybe ask for some nice premium clothing? Depending on their wealth ofc, but you should give it a shot. Materialism ftw
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I feel like milestone birthdays like that are mostly for parents and partly for you.
Their probably proud as shit for getting this far.
I agree though, it isnt very fun but when my dad talked to me on my uni graduation party and cried as he explained how proud he was, it made me melt inside. This is from a guy who i've seen cry once.
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Just tell them you don't want to and go out to do something that day. Don't have to actually go somewhere, could just be the library or something quiet like that. If you already told them and they don't listen to you, they've no one to blame but themselves if everyone but your turns up and they're all disappointed, and don't you let anyone tell you otherwise anon.