Archived threads in /asp/ - Alternative Sports & Wrestling - 745. page

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>GOAT
>Rich as fuck
>Famous
>6'2
>Big dick
>Fucked Lita, Kelly Kelly, Beth Phoenix, Daffney, Maria Kanellis, Traci Brooks
>Married AJ Lee
>Two 5 star matches in under 10 years
>Is straight-edge; completely drug & PED free
>Made ROH relevant in the early-mid 00s
>Smartly got out of pro wrestling before it destroyed his body
>Wouldn't take any more of WWE's shit
>Anti-smarks still obsessed with him years after he left
>Exposed HHH
>Exposed The Ryback
>Exposed The Rock
>Exposed Roman Reigns
>Exposed Vince
>Exposed Dr. Z-Pak Chris Amann
>Exposed Chris Jericho
>Most important indy wrestler of all time
>Was the absolute greatest on the mic
>Made wrestling mainstream and made it cool again
>Outsold John Cena in merchandise with half the push and protection in booking Cena gets
>Was able to elevate himself from a heatless directionless midcarder to red hot main event status in just 6 minutes of mic time
>Was universally over with everybody on Earth
>Was the best part about the show any time he was on
>Had the best theme songs in wrestling history
>Amazing technician
>Most entertaining guy in any room at any time
>Cool as fuck
>Hot as fuck
>Rad as fuck
>Based as fuck
>Had the best match with Brock Lesnar since his return
>Had one of the best streak matches with Undertaker, stole WM 29
>Had the best match with John Cena of his entire career and also his greatest rival ever
>Is the reason people finally started to say no to WWE's bullshit
>Is the reason based DBry got his WrestleMania moment
>Considered one of the greatest of all time by Stone Cold Steve Austin, Bret Hart and Mick Foley and many other resurrected names
>Is best friends with Paul Heyman
>Proven draw anytime WWE gave him a chance
>Completely D E S T R O Y E D The Rock on the mic
>Not a single bad promo in his entire career
>Buried The Ryback
>Was brave enough to jump ship to try UFC in his 30s
>Pro Wrestling crowds still chant his name to this day
>Will go down in history as the greatest of all time, bar none.

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You're in a bar minding your own business, and this asshole comes and spits in your face. Wat do?

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Is there a wrestler more JUST than JUST Joe?

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Is he paid by New Japan to overrate everything they do and shit on WWE all the time?

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Why was he always stretching guys in the dungeon?

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Bret was waiting backstage in his private locker-room. Suddenly, he hears a knock on the door. It's Natalya Neidhart. She asks to come in. Bret lets her in and closes the door behind her. "Uncle Bret, I need to ask you something" she said. "My boyfriend wants me to give him... well, oral sex but I don't know if I'm ready". Bret smiled. "Come here, Natalie" he responded. She kneels over to him. "What you need is a man. A real man.". Bret takes her. "...but first, you're going to fart in my face". Natalya whimpers "I-I... I don't" then Bret grabs her by the hair and kisses her deeply. Shocked but aroused, Natalya kisses back. All of a sudden Hornswoggle comes threw the door looking for an autograph. Shocked at what he sees, he rushes out the door. Natalya starts to cry on the floor then to marches out the door. Bret, angered by what just happened, grabs Natalya by the wrists, shuts and locks the door. He smacks Natalya across the face and she goes stumbling to the floor. Bret gets on top of her, holding her down and ripping her clothes off. "Is this what you wanted?" he yells. Natalya screaming and struggling to break free only makes him angrier. He rapes and kills her. He then takes his own life. They say late at night, if you listen close enough inside that arena, you can hear Natalya farting in the arena

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Which female athletes do you want to see transition into wrestling?

For me its Joanna Champion

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Would he do well?

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>And right now, this isn't CM Punk talking to Triple H, this is Phil Brooks talking to Paul Levesque

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>Daniel Bryan gets paid a lot of money to do minimal work, fuck Brie Bella, and be a dad to his new hippie, vegan baby
>He's a notorious troll
>He spends the next 14 months working the smarks with the idea that he's going to wrestle in a small indy fed like NJPW, CMLL, or ROH
>The smarks work themselves into an autistic fit at the thought of manlets doing flippy shit and kicks
>Daniel Bryan generates more publicity for himself forcing Vince to give him a bigger contract with better perquisites
>14 months from now the smarks realize it was fucking retarded to think Daniel Bryan would risk his health.in a tiny promotion because he's a mark for himself

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Was this a six star match?

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Real talk, how much more time has he got? He's 71. Years of living on minimal sleep a hardcore work lifestyle, bumps, steak wraps, coffee and roids. Will it be this year?

What's going to happen when he dies? I know there'll be a tribute show. What happens to the company?

>inb4 he's immortal.

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How do I get my girlfriend to watch wrestling?

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When is her contract expiring?

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Which one would you choose?