Archived threads in /asp/ - Alternative Sports & Wrestling - 435. page

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What the fuck was Joe thinking here?

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Fuck, what are we supposed to do now smacklads?

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Who are the "elite" wrestlers right now?

>inb4 posts of The Young Cucks and Kenny

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Who could beat him in WWE?

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>Turns 36 next month

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DAMN! Carmella looks like THAT!?

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i didn't know big ass is a nigga!

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>GOAT
>Rich as fuck
>Famous
>6'2
>Big dick
>Fucked Lita, Kelly Kelly, Beth Phoenix, Daffney, Maria Kanellis, Traci Brooks
>Married AJ Lee
>Two 5 star matches in less than 10 years
>Is straight-edge; completely drug & toxin free
>Made ROH relevant in the 2000s
>Smartly got out of pro wrestling before it destroyed his body
>Wouldn't take any more of WWE's shit
>Anti-smarks still obsessed with him years after he left
>Exposed HHH
>Exposed The Ryback
>Exposed The Rock
>Exposed Roman Reigns
>Exposed Vince
>Exposed Dr. Z-Pak Chris Amann
>Exposed Chris Jericho
>Most important indy wrestler of all time
>Was the absolute greatest on the mic
>Brought wrestling back to the mainstream and made it cool again
>Outsold John Cena in merchandise without half the push and protection in booking Cena gets
>Was able to elevate himself from a heatless directionless midcarder to red hot main event status in just 6 minutes of mic time
>Was universally over with everyone
>Was the best part about the show any time he was on
>Had the best theme songs in wrestling history
>Amazing technician
>Most entertaining guy in any room at any time
>Cool as fuck
>Hot as fuck
>Rad as fuck
>Based as fuck
>Had the best match with Brock Lesnar since his return
>Had one of the best streak matches with Undertaker, stole WM 29
>Had the best match with John Cena of his entire career and also his greatest rival ever
>Is the reason people finally started to say no to WWE's bullshit
>Is the reason based DBry got his WrestleMania moment
>Is considered one of the greatest of all time by Stone Cold Steve Austin, Bret Hart and Mick Foley and many other repsected names
>Is best friends with Paul Heyman
>Proven draw anytime WWE gave him a chance
>Completely D E S T R O Y E D The Rock on the mic
>Not a single bad promo in his entire career
>Buried The Ryback
>Was brave enough to jump ship to try UFC in his 30s
>Will go down in history as one of the Greatest of All Time.

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Who's living in your head rent free?

>Pic related

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>Hypocrite
>Whiner
>Coward
>Manlet
>Doesn't lift
>Has been training the last five years to get a Gracie Jiu Jitsu pink belt from Eve Torres. Not going well
>Emo geek
>Weaseled out of a drug test
>Entitled brat
>Malnourished, looks like a poster child for starving kids
>Reads comic books
>Liberal cuck
>Pathetic quitter
>Most boring guy in any room at any time
>Wets the bed
>Hissy fit enthusiast
>Everyone laughs when he tries to look tough
>Meat-fearer
>Booze-dodger
>Pudding belly
>Straight edge weakling
>Runs in the opposite direction like a terrified screaming girl at the mere sight of a burger
>All his matches are sloppy and riddled with botches
>Ultra-sensitive
>Tumblr feminist
>Worst physique in wrestling since Mick "Ten Burgers" Foley
>Sk8er boi
>Likes hockey
>Doesn't like to party
>Zero coordination
>No athleticism
>Prefers Pepsi to Budweiser
>30 minute boring promos sent the audience to sleep
>Still watches The Walking Dead
>Never drew a penny
>Tragic gluten-free diet
>Potty mouth
>Brittle bones
>Failed to take the advice from the great Kevin Nash
>Hasn't taken a shower
>Hasn't hit the weights
>Hasn't got a clue
>My Chemical Romance fan
>Wrote the foreword for a vegan cookbook
>Awful tattoos
>Desperate to be edgy. Fails miserably
>Drones on about being an atheist. Nobody cares
>Thinks using Cult Of Personality for his theme is cool. It isn't
>GTS stolen from KENTA
>Ananconda Vice stolen from Tenzan
>Adored by beta morons
>Calling that overrated and carefully scripted promo a "pipebomb" represents a new level of cringe
>Cried about Lesnar
>Cried about The Rock
>Cried about HHH
>Cried about Vince
>Cried about The Big Guy (for you!) Ryback
>Cried about the doctors
>Cried about not being in a WrestleMania main event
>Is the only person who sees talent in his boyfriend Colt Cabana
>Performs worst top rope elbow drop in history
>Booked as WWE champion for over year, made million of dollars - all he did was complain
>Most laughable "fighter" in UFC history

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>Jim, look at all these losers on /asp/, who lets me live in their head rent free.

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If WWE stayed 14+ what would it be like with todays roster? Whos gimmicks would be different?

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damn, Dixie Carter looks like THAT?

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Why doesn't this disgusting bitch get in shape? Is it really so hard to use a gym? Look how pathetic she is next to a real athlete