Anonymous
Car Crash Greentext Thread 2017-04-22 02:47:48 Post No.17063636
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Car Crash Greentext Thread 2017-04-22 02:47:48 Post No.17063636
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Car Crash Greentext Thread
Anonymous
2017-04-22 02:47:48
Post No. 17063636
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Seeing as I was in my first wreck yesterday, lets have a crash greentext thread. I'll start:
>Be me
>Sitting in back seat with a bomb ass pair of raybands sunglasses on
>Riding in car with GF and two ignoramuses
>Having a fun day, riding around, eating Taco Bell
>Everything is going great until it's time to take ignoramus number two home
>Based ignoramus number one decides that instead of driving directly to ignoramus number two's house we take a detour through a backwoods bumfuck dirt road to get there
>Based ignoramus yells amidst the blaring ACDC, "WE'RE GOIN BAHA RACIN BOYYYSSS!"
>While ignoramus number two is yelling "YEEHHAWWWW" gf grabs my hand tightly and looks me in the eye and says without words, "I didn't sign up for this"
>Herewego.mp4
>Based ignoramus immediately speeds up to 70 mph as we blast accross the dirt road like a bolt of KFCô chicken greased lightning
>Riding along in backseat while thunderstruck plays, gripping gf's hand with a fist of steel
>We make a turn past an old graveyard approaching mach 7
>Boiwasiwrong.jpg
>We make our final turn of the day at 50 lightyears per hour
>as the two decade old Ford Explorer makes the turn, the wheels start to slip
>our direction immediately changes from going along the dirt road to charging ahead at 50 lightyears per hour directly into Shrek's swamp complete with trees and a 5 foot drop off the road
>Based ignoramus notices it and oversteers by 900,000%
>Our direction immediately does a 180 as our car is now traveling sideways towards rough farm tilled soil
>We slide pretty ok for about 1 millisecond before the right side wheels catch on the bumps
>As we hit I hear "THUNDERSTRUCK!" being yelled by Brian Johnson over the stereo
>Now the car flips through the air with the force of a thousand suns
>we roll across the ground, car is upside down, i am suspended by my seatbelt
>sothisiswhatspidermanfeelslikeinaweb.avi
>pic related: The 99 Explorer we were in
cont?
26 Posts / 13 Images
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>>17063636
>letting other people drive you
>>
>>17063636
>i frantically look around as gf is screaming for her life
>I noticed the front windshield has evaporated along with the dash and somehow ignoramus number two has already gotten out
>Based ignoramus checks for me, feels me, and escapes
>I gather my senses and reach for the knife based ignoramus had in the back of his seat, realize its on the roof because we are upside down, and push my entire body weight up with one arm so i can undo my seat belt
>Gf is still freaking out as I collide with the ceiling of the car and turn myself upright
>ignoramus number two has found a broken window in the back and directs me to it so i can escape
>Gf manages to get herself out as well
>I stand up, Based ignoramus has blood running down his leg, ignoramus number two is trying to make sure everyone is ok, everyone is confused and screaming
>I emerged without a scratch, aviators still on my face
>I just look at everyone and whip off my glasses
>"Now THAT was fuckin' GNARLY duuude!"
>>
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>Be me driving home from work
>Feeling fine, no rush
>Almost home, one last light to get through, and it is green
>As I enter intersection, I see SUV approaching from right, fast
>He doesn't stop, I start doing what I could to steer away and brake
>No good, the joust is on
>During spin I'm thinking, "Compared to hockey, this isn't too bad."
>I get out quick, look at truck, no good to be seen
>I call wife, tell her truck is dead
>I realize I need papers from truck, truck is locked
>Witnesses help me break window for the papers
cont.
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>BMW
I remember when I tunneled on a brand for a badge and never took the time to consider better cars
When did you grow out of BMW?
29 Posts / 5 Images
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>>17063520
When I realized that I am a buttmad delusional poorfag who hates other people for not being poor
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>>17063527
>the im a super rich guy meme
If you are so wealthy, why not buy a Porsche or used Ferarri or used Aston?
They are better in every way.
You are just a dumb ass and definitely not rich.
>>
>>17063590
Never said I was rich. No need to get triggered ret
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Who owns this car?
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WHAT CAR IS THIS
>>
Prince Abu Muhammad
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>>17062668
It looks like a bmw
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Carbon filter master race
13 Posts / 2 Images
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>>17062511
Im overdue to replace mine, how much do they run?
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>>17062529
round 15 depending on rockauto or autozone
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>>17062511
>square box filters
>ever being master race
Sorry lad
How come no american manufacturer has ever won Formula 1???
64 Posts / 15 Images
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>>17062464
>>17063415
American cars are utter rubbish.
If you aren't built in Germany or Italy you are trash.
>>
How come no european manufacturer has ever won Nascar???
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>>17063432
>Nascar
>Relevant
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Is this literally the last 3 door hot hatch being sold in america?
58 Posts / 10 Images
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>>17061552
Golf
>>
It's a turd
Why do you want 3 doors when 5 is superior in almost every way
>>
>3 door hot hatch
>3 door
>hot hatch
Who the fuck thought this was a good idea?
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>not having two engines
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>>17061415
>not having two v8's
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1fQUCUGwX5I
>>
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>>17061441
>not having pixels
Do you have faith in Toyota? What are your hopes and expectations?
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>>17061391
Hope:
>Can pick up a 270hp, 2900lb 6spd /w lsd supra for $35k
Expectation:
>base model is 220 hp, automatic only, 3400lbs, no lsd, $42k msrp
>6cyl turbo model is $55k msrp
>>
>>17061391
bmw with a body kit and less grip
bit like brz vs gt86
>>
Hopes
>I6 + RWD + manual combination possible
>around 3000lbs
>6 cylinder model can be had for under 50k
>looks like the FT-1
Fears
>hybrid and AWD unless you want the poorfag I4 model
>no manual option
>is ugly like most modern Toyota's
>3500lbs or so
Expectations
>V6 turbo
>looks like a bigger GT86
>3300lbs
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ITT: name as many specs of your car as you can from pure memory, no references
>Nissan Sentra
>2013
>6 Speed
>v4
>128 horsepower
>wheels are 17 inches
>2800 curb weight
>clutch is butta
>whistles in third gear
>abs
>has sport mode
>has prius mode
>i lose, my cars stock senpai
21 Posts / 4 Images
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>>17060936
>Subaru Legacy
>1998
>5 speed
>flat 4
>2457cc
>165hp
>162lbs-ft
>16x7 wheels
>3180 lbs
>new Exedy oem replacement clutch
>205/55r16 tires
>lug torque is 65 ft-lbs
>19mm lug nuts
>takes 4.8qts of oil
>drain plug torque is 32 ft-lbs
>Oil filter part number (Wix) 51334
>first gear ratio 3.545
>final drive ratio 4.11
>r160 limited slip rear
>h4 headlight bulbs
>only driver assist is abs
>2 pot front calipers
>single pot rear calipers
>>
>S550 Mustang GT PP
>Oxford White
>5.0L
>6 speed Getrag MT82 transmission
>3.73 final gear ratio
>19" staggered wheels
>6 piston Brembo front brakes
>3750lb
>>
2015 Ford Focus
2.0L Ti-VCT
160hp/146 lb-ft
Flex fuel E-85 capable
6-speed "powershift" shitty shuttering dual clutch automatic
3000 pound curb weight
17" wheels
"Sport package" body kit
No rear leg room
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>Not having two i8 engines for each side of your car
What kind of scrub are you?
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>>17059681
>Not having a giant turbine with twin afterburners.
Are you even trying?
>>
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>Not having a V16 engine in your car
>>
Optimus Primefag (ID: !VXmvbSnGII)
2017-04-21 01:04:19
Post No.17059738
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>Not having 4 Allison V12 airplane engines and awd in your car
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Auto Sticker General #221
Previous thread: >>17042932
>List of Vendors and Social Media
http://pastebin.com/AGc66Z8j
>/osg/ FAQ
http://pastebin.com/vaEgettv
>What is this thread for?
A thread to discuss, post, create, and review anything related to Automotive Decals and Stickers
>Currently looking for:
>An internet lawyer ( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)
Idea Guys (Come up with Sticker Ideas, /o/ club names, etc.)
Anons with artistic talent willing to make decals for free.
Anons with decal production equipment (Specifically Vinyl Printer Equipment)
312 Posts / 89 Images
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First for Project Hoon.
How's everyone doing? Having a pleasant evening I hope?
>>
>>17057221
thread's ruined. can we start over?
>>
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>>17057214
pls no fight guys
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>tfw giant 80s shitbox fetish
69 Posts / 30 Images
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>>17055469
Fucking hell I want a Griswold-mobile. I want my kids to know the joy of cross country road trips in this beautiful machine
>>
>full size station wagon
>shitbox
>>
>>17055469
> are you Sarah Connor?
> runs over toy car
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What does /o/ think of my new shift knob? Also, post your own shift knobs boys.
83 Posts / 32 Images
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>>17055277
6/10 would insert into anus
also:
>that climate control layout
wtf
>>
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It looks like someone cut a dildo in half so they could fuck their car.
The best shift knobs are made to be gripped like a shifter and not like a penis.
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How do I fight a Redlight camera ticket?
I got 3 (THREE) fucking redlight camera tickets for essentially rolling a right turn on red in some fucking shitty suburb in the middle of the night that I didnt even know had cameras.
There was no flash, no No Turn On Red sign, no warning of red light camera signs either.
$300 fucking dollars. They have video evidence of me rolling the goddamn red light, one was at like a crawl speed, another I was behind a car that was waiting for traffic to clear, and I drove behind them without coming to a complete stop.
The in person hearing auto picked contest dates in the afternoon. I work nights, and sleep during the day, so I cant even go there at 3pm.
They do not allow any form of rescheduling. Only option is to pay, or contest by mail.
Has anyone ever successfully beat red light camera tickets for this shit?
None of the rules, or regulations fall in my favor.
Yes, I fucked up, and yes I fucked up hard. Yes Im supposed to come to a complete stop before moving. Goddamn bumblefuck shit towns, goddamn red light cameras.
Illinois if that helps, all 3 from different towns.
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>>17054834
Just don't pay them
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>>17054834
Break the rules suffer the consequences m8.
Also
>2017
>living in a place with traffic cams
>>
Go fuck yourself.
You broke the law, you know what you did is wrong. Now you have to deal with the consequences, because if you don't then you won't learn your lesson.
Doesn't matter what time of night it is, or where you are, you must obey the road rules at all times.
Anonymous
ITT: Tiny engines in big engine bays 2017-04-19 09:16:30 Post No.17050569
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ITT: Tiny engines in big engine bays
Anonymous
2017-04-19 09:16:30
Post No. 17050569
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step aside retards