RGRE: Reverse Gender Roles Equestria

Ya did it again, you fucking dingdong.

Prompt collection: https://pastebin.com/GgD2Yvkv

Ahhhhh...feels good to finish one again.
>>29966754
You should have done it sooner m8, OP beat ya to it.

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>>29966738
First for stoning homos.

>>29966738
Spotted:
RGRE: Reverse Gender Roles Equestria
RGRE: Reverse'd' Gender Roles Equestria

>>29966738
>>29966754
>The v is missing from the link because RGRE secretly hates the V.

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>>29966738
is dat sum pregnant pegasus pone right there

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>>29966772
What homos? Gay stallions don't exist.

>>29966792
>HAI GUIZ, THIS TOPIC'S GOING TO DEVOLVE INTO SMUG MOM DASH LIKE EVERY OTHER FUCKING TIME!

Please, god no. Dash is trash. Fluttershy supreme.

>>29966792
>Rainbow, being a bit of a marechild, constantly tries to bait you into entertaining her since she can't fly in her last few months of pregnancy.

>>29966796
Every stallion is gay for marecock

>>29966811
>Every woman is gay for man vagina?
I think you may have mixed that up.

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>>29966809
That sounds pretty cute.

>>29966805
Better than the constant sperg Twilight.

>>29966817
No I didn't

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>>29966821
I can't even begin to describe how fast I would snatch her out of the air in a massive hug.

>>29966811
Until they get cockvored by the mares

>>29966844
ohohohohoho

>>29966852
what's so funny?

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>"D-Don't worry Anon! Trixie is going to take responsibility!"
wut?
>"Trixie is not going to run off on you or anything thing like that."
....run off and do what?
>"You know...get an a-abortion."
oh........oh fuck! that's a thing here!?!?
>"Yeah...but Trixie is better than that!"
YOU BETTER NOT BE!!!
>"I- what? Trixie is confused. you want Trixie to...to-"
FUCKING YES! I'm only [age] years old! I can't raise a kid!
>"......w-well.....too bad."


>Anon holds up a coat hanger.
>Trixie holds up a baseball bat.
>A tumble weed rolls through the living room.

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>>29966860
>wanting your pregnant waifu to get an abortion
Shouldn't have whipped out your cock, faggot.

>>29966860
Wait...Trixie has prop tumble weeds?

>>29966821
>You're a dude in his prime, so you have little interest in kids.
>She's an RGRE mare in her prime, so she has little interest in kids.
>But she's pregnant thanks to you.
>Since neither of you are pieces of shit, you both forced to suck it up.
Could be a depressingly real sitcom.

>>29966869
>>You're a dude in his prime, so you have little interest in kids.
>>She's an RGRE mare in her prime, so she has little interest in kids.
literally the best time to have kids

>>29966868
Trixie doesn't like to discuss her fetishes.

>>29966875
As a guy who had kids in his twenties, no it's not. Wait until you have a real career and have outgrown your fun partying days.

>>29966900
>fun partying days
those never existed

>>29966899
....what fetish does she have that involves tumble weeds, does she have a cowgirl fetish?
>>29966900
he's right>>29966911
its 2017, fun is a lie or your a rich cancer on the world already.

>>29966911
>>29966916
Then wait until you make good money at least. Kids are REALLY fucking expensive, and if you have one, you may as well give them he best you can.

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>>29966784

>Anon goes to a vacation week to other place.
>Payed by Porchlight Spatule, of course.
>Don't ask why.
>anondoesn'thaveanyprovesright?
>Sends mail telling them when is he gonna get back.
>Tells them of his times hanging out with some friends.
>How they play, drink, sleep and do other things together.
>Sounds good.
>Finally Anon is making friends, and with colts, no less.
>He and his friends are heading to Ponyville at the same time
>Some business and shit.
>Twi calls upon her friends to help her make a welcome party for Anon and his stallion friends.
>While at it, Twilight forms a plan to get her "herd" with the other stallions.
>Leaving Twilight with his truly one husbando, Anon.
>The night in the crystal castle are long and cold.
>And Spike can use a stallion figure other than your brother.
>And a Daddy, don't forget that.
>Just imagining Anon snuggling you in front of a fire.
>Spike playing with your daugther while the other is still in the oven.
>Anon, putting his hands on your belly, just in time to feel your next one kick.
>This will be great.
>The day comes.
>Everyone is ready for this.
>The plan is clear.
>Greet Anon and his stallion friends.
>Let them fresh up.
>Get them to the Welcome party.
>???
>???
>Anon gets you pregnant
>PROFIT!!!
>Fools proof!.
>The train comes.
>The doors open.
>They can hear deep varitone giggles.
>Followed by...
>High pitched...
>Wait a second..
>When they get out of the train, you blood freezes.
>They are not stallions.
>THEY ARE NOT STALLIONS AT ALL!
>THEY ARE MARES!
>ANON'S FRIENDS ARE MARES!
>YOUR HUSBAND HAS BEEN ENTICED BY ANOTHER MARES AND YOU JUST LET THEM TAKE HIM AWAY FROM YOU!!!

>But they are not just any mares.
>Looks like the destiny hated you and your friends so much.
>In front of you, laughting, are Suri Polo Mares, Trixie, that whores of Lighting Dust, Cherry Jubilee, Photo Finish and-
>Is that Moondancer?!
>WHAT THE HECK MOON!!
>YOU TRAITOR PIECE OF-
>"Trixie!"
>Says Starlight Glimmer as she goes to greet her.
>Double Traitors.

>>29967184
>>29967187
Very engrish my famalam.

>>29967194
This, step it up to English. The idea is fun though, the anti-mane six would be a fun herd.

>>29967187
>Starlight knew about it the whole time
>Trixie has put in a good word to Anon about her
>Glimmergetsit.jpg

>>29967205
>Anon wants to get in on the horse pussy racket and buys a portal at Ikea and puts it together with only half the instructions available in the box
>instead of getting thrown into Equestria, he ends up in Foul Bachelorette RGRE
>the commotion of his arrival brings out the nation's heroines
>The Element of Piss
>The Element of Crusty Underwear
>The Element of Cereal for Dinner
>The Element of Porn Nostalgia
>The Element of Farting to Scratch an Itch
>the final mare, The Element of Ignoring Knocking at the Door, didn't come outside to see what was happening

>>29967478
So the entire plane of existence is inhabited by copies of Rainbow Dash?

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>>29966860
>not wanting foals with literal best pony

>>29967187
>Anon is just as oblivious to their interest in him romantically as he is to Sparkles and co.
>This does not prevent Bookhorse from freaking out and trying to figure out how to reclaim him.

>>29967889
This is going into the territories of
>"Twilight, we are NOT in a relationship"
>"Yeah, Twilight, go away."
>"Glimmer, same goes for you. I'm still single, you can't just tell me to do things like you're my girlfriend or something."
>"What?"
>"WHAAAAT?"

Mkay, I might be back. Chew on this. A semi-serious /k/ Anon in a distinct RGRE.

>”I get the feeling you’re not quite telling me everything,” a smooth voice comments.
>You stare across the table in the darkened room to the owner of the voice, a man who looks like a dead ringer of Jack Harper.
>Ominous suited appearance and your imagined smell of stale smoke included.
>You only know him as ‘Vanduff’, a government spook.
“It’s not like I did much. Hell, I never saw any of the big battles.”
>The man slowly blinks, his electric blue eyes lowering to the open folder on the steel table. “Are you sure about that? I wouldn't call getting out of the Virginia disaster zone relatively unscathed a small feat.”
“Virginia was a disaster long before it was trashed,” you say blandly. “And running is not exactly hard.”
>Your interviewer snorts. “Opinions aside, countless people didn’t make it when the first bombs went off. Yet, you did.”
>If his voice was smooth before, it’s practically oily now. “You either had the luck or the skill to make it out not only alive, but in one piece. Surveillance still active during the panic suggests that would be quite the… test of resolve.”
>You frown at the way he says “test of resolve”.
“Look, a man’s gotta survive…”
>He nods. “Indeed you did. That’s why we want you.”
“Some random asshole?”
>Vanduff stills. If he was caught off guard by the comment, it didn’t show on is face. “A survivor,” he says after a pause. “We’ve gone over other candidates, but none are as enduring as you, mister Anonymous. You’re as hard to crush as a radical idea.”
>You let a breath out through your nose and cross your arms.

1/x

>>29967969
“You still haven't told me what all this will entail. I was only told there was decent pay involved.”
>”And yet you still walk into this facility,” Vanduff says as he leans back into his chair. “You’re sure in your ability to get out should this go sour. You only reaffirm my assessment of you.”
>Your eyes narrow, but you say nothing.
>The older man stands and slowly paces in the small, almost police interrogation-like room, his dress shoes clicking distractingly on the stone floor. “We’re onto something here, mister Anonymous. As you may or may not know, conflict advances technology with incredible speed. Our year long bout of infighting threw the world into chaos, and from that pit of chaos, new technology budded and branched.”
>Despite knowing that the man in front of you can only be bad news, you still find yourself leaning forward in interest.
>”For industry, directed energy tools. Medicine, regeneration therapy. And the most groundbreaking of all?”
>The Harper-lookalike places his hands on the table, leaning on them as he smiles a smile that could convince a saint he was sin-free. “Transportation. In the closing days of the fighting, Einstein-Rosen bridges could finally be made artificially. Unrivaled supply transport threw everything into our favor. The genius of a not-so-common engineer may have just saved us all.”
>What?

2/x

>>29967970
“Alright, now I know you're full of shit,” you say, a scowl marring your face. “Lasers and 3D printed limbs are one thing. Full on wormhole generators are another thing entirely. There’s no way you possess something like that. Not this early in our history.”
>”Are you sure?”
>You want to stubbornly say “Yes,” but hold off to think of a better answer.
>He takes your silence as a signal to keep talking. “It’s a stretch, I understand. But nothing is impossible. I think you know that better than most,” the older man says, his voice smooth as silk.
>You’re really starting to hate this guy.
>”We need someone with the will and ability to survive wherever we can send him. Our own agents…”
“Are too valuable to send?”
>He raises eyebrow and looks as if he is going to refute you, but stops. “They don't have the correct skill sets.”
“Riiiiight…”
>Once again, his aloof expression remains unchanged.
“So what do I get out of this other than a fat paycheck?” You ask, crossing your arms a little tighter and leaning back. “And by god it better be as thicc as a thot. Now that I think about it, where did you even come up with this thing?”
>Vanduff slides an old photograph out of the file on his side of the table to you.
>Glancing down, you see it’s of an overweight man with thinning hair and the name “Arnold Yegirman” scrawled on it in sharpie.

3/x

>>29967965
>>29967889
>>29967233
>>29967187
>>29967184

There's a simple solution to this.

Herd ALL of them.

>>29967972
>”That is Arnold Yegirman,” Vanduff says. “A brilliant man, decades ahead of the rest of us in understanding the workings of space. A second coming of Hawking, some would say. We kept an eye on him.”
“Of course you did…”
>”He was killed when a CrimFa truck bomb went off in his neighborhood,” the other man continues without missing a beat. “His home collapsed and crushed him. After some investigation, local police found some interesting blueprints and undamaged personal computers.”
>He closes his eyes, a small smile on his face. “We saw fit to bring the materials recovered into our custody for security reasons.”
>You sigh, uncrossing one of your arms to pinch the bridge of your nose with your eyes clinched shut.
“The bomb was you, wasn’t it?”
>You get no reply.
“God damn it… What’s the pay?”
>A pause, then tense silence.
>”Incognito.”
>You suck in a slow breath, your eyes opening.
>Vanduff is still standing with his small smile, but his right side is faced away, and his hand is hidden.
>You catch his eyes with your own.
>He blinks first.
“Explain.”
>”Of course,” he says, looking away to the folder again. “Shortly after the initial D.C. bombings, mister Incognito was admitted to a local hospital for severe shrapnel wounds and head trauma. As per state mandate, the hospital tried to contact his parents when he did not awaken.”

4/x

>>29967976
>You try not to let your breath hitch.
>He looks back to you, not easing out of his stance. “It failed. They tried to contact his brother next.”
>Your blood goes cold.
>Vanduff’s smile twitches. “Once again, it failed. Seems he was otherwise indisposed. Perhaps in an area with no cell phone service?”
>No…
>”So they kept him on life support for one year, as mandated…”
“Get to the point!” You snarl, the shout echoing in the stone room.
>For the first time, the government spook falters, his right arm twitching nervously behind him.
>”But after seeing you, we decided to… step in, you see. A stipend was dedicated to maintaining mister Incognito’s health. He’s in stable condition, in fact.”
“And you want me to do this for you in return…” you finish for him, your shoulders slumping.
>The government agent eased back down into his chair, his smile back.
>From the folder, he pulls a single page long contract and a small pen, and slides it across the table to you.
>You uncross your arms and lean back forward, snatching the pen from his grasp with a livid swipe of your arm.
>Idly, you scan over the contract and scowl.
“It says that Nito’s current debt to the system will be waived if I enter this contract, but I don’t see a part where it says he won’t accrue more.”
>You go further, the ugly look on your face deepening.
“And there’s no end date on this fucking thing. Or even a clause saying what happens to Nito if I get wasted.”

5/x

>>29967979
>You give the smiling man a withering glare.
“Did you honestly expect me to sign this? Do you think I’m retarded?”
>”Hmm. Did I expect you to sign that? No,” the infuriating suit said with a shake of his head. “But my superiors did.”
>He pulls out another contract, this one multiple pages. “That’s why I had this made on the downlow.”
>You don’t even wait and pull the paper from his hand, scanning over it intently.
>”I expect you to sign THAT one. I think you’ll find that one more agreeable.”
>The painful glower on your faces eases as you read over the new paper. Care for Nito, the eventual release of him into your custody, and even a contingency in the form of a promise to provide for Nito should you die in the field.
“You honestly tried to trick me with the first one, you rat bastard.”
>You get no reply as you finish reading the last page.
”This is oddly fair…”
>Vanduff just looks at you knowingly. “Trust me, You’ll be doing more for us than you realize,” he says, voice like silk.
>You pin him with a sharp look, then let out a resigned breath and pick up the pen.
>He’s playing you. He must be.
“There’s a special place in hell for shitters like you, you know that?” you ask as you sign.
>He has the gall to openly grin. “Indeed. That place is called the ‘throne’”.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

6/x

>>29967981
>”Gentlemen,” A rather typical nerd of an administrator with spectacles and a large nose said. “Are you ready?”
>”As ready as anyone can be for crazy shit like this...”
>You and a few of other other assembled men chuckle in low tones.
>The spectacled man frowns, pushing his glasses a bit higher on his face. “I hope you’ll all take this a bit more seriously. It’s not everyday history is made, you know. Perform a final gear check, and get ready. In the next few moments, you all could become some of the most important humans ever, even if this is just a test.”
>The atmosphere sobers, and everyone pats themselves down, feeling for their gear and digging in lockers along the wall.
>A cursory glance down tells you all you need to know. You have the lightest load.
>Your beat-up Glock 20 10mm pistol holstered on your side, a small 1903 Colt Hammerless hidden in your waistband, some spare mags, your plate carrier fitted with level VI armor, radio, a no-name fixed-blade knife, and a standard overnight woods kit.
>You’re the leader for this little excursion with a team you barely know. To be fair, they said the whole team would be “Privately contracted agents”.
>But you get the feeling that some of the men here…
>You glance to the side, where one of your four teammates, a tall and thin man, tries to put the magazine of his rifle in backwards.
>...Are fodder.
>You sigh. What kind of clusterfuck is cooking up here?

7/x

>>29967985
“I think we’re as ready as we’re going to be. Lead us to the test area, yeah?”
>The administrator gives one sharp nod, then turns on his heel and gestures you all to follow through the darkened hallway just outside the supply room.
>You pass a number of steel doors through the facility, all of them closed. More than once, you had heard odd noises while passing them.
>With the sterile light of of the buzzing lights fixtures and perverse white of the walls and floor, it made for something right out of a horror movie.
>The man directly behind you yelps in fright and jumps when something slams on the door he walks past.
>You would tell no-one that your heart rate spiked from that.
>Finally, you and the other four are lead into a side room, where the administrator hastily shuts the door behind you.
“Holy shit…”
>The others utter their own expressions of surprise, and even one or two of fear.
>Against the back of the room is a mess of outward jutting metal prongs and intricate wiring, all held up by a massive metal frame.
>The walls of the large room are lined with steel cabinets filled with mechanical whirring and blinking lights, marking them as computers or servers of some sort. The make and models are certainly unfamiliar.

8/x

>>29967990
>”So. Uh.” The team medic, a short, asian man starts unsurely. “What exactly is this thing?”
>The administrator pulls a tablet from his labcoat, and taps a few keys on the screen. “This? It’s the Einstein Rosen bridge. Don't worry about it, though. We just need to test this and have you pick up a few things from unsavory characters for us. This will be two birds with one stone. Your leader can brief you once you make it to your destination.”
>What? You weren’t told shit!
>The other four men look at you, eyes full of curiosity and suspicion.
“Can you at least tell us where we’re going?” You ask, hoping to deflect the uncomfortable stares on your back.
>”Lynchburg.”
>The room seemed to go silent despite the noise of the computer fans keeping at a dull roar.
>Suddenly, you’re glad you didn’t learn the names of your team.
>”Hold on,” the medic spoke up again, eyes wide. “That wasn’t part of the deal! You said that this would be easy!”
>”Indeed we did.”
>The smell of stale smoke invades your nose as Vanduff walks through the door, infuriating smile in place. “After all, testing the bridge generator IS easy.”
>”It’s the afterward part that is difficult,” the admin says irritably. “What happened to keeping this in a need to know basis? Why did I have to tell them?”

9/x

>>29967992
>The older man shrugs carelessly. “I don’t see it as much of a concern,” he replies with casually. “I don't expect them all to come back.”
>”U-uh. Look sir,” the tall and thin man on the team starts, a stutter in his voice. “I might have lied a little on my resume. I ain’t got no military experience or nothing. A-and I’m havin’ second thoughts…”
>The Harper-lookalike shakes his head. “That’s too bad. You’re under contract. You ALL are. Until this assignment is complete, you do WHATEVER I say, understand?”
>”B-but!”
>A sharp look from the admin stops the tall man’s protests. “There is no backing out. You leave here, and you’ll enjoy life in a cell. I did NOT process all your clearance just to how you run away.”
>’Tall’ nods meekly and steps back in line.
>”Now then, step forward into an individual spot you poor fools. You’re about to become the first humans to ever teleport.”
>You glare at the large-nosed man, but do as you’re told until you stand between two of the prongs protruding from the wall-sized machine.
>With shaky steps and muttered prayers, the others follow, each standing between different sets of prongs.
>”Good…”
>Both the admin and Vanduff back-up until they’re almost back against the far wall as the admin rapidly inputs commands into his tablet.
>Oh that cannot be good…
>The technological monstrosity less than a foot from you rumbles and hums threateningly.
>Slowly, the humming grows louder. Before long, it’s a tooth-rattling din that makes your ears hurt and makes your stomach do flips.

10/x

>>29967993
>You look around at your team, all of them wearing grimaces and tears even leak from ‘Tall’s clinched eyes.
>Over the horrid hum, you hear something that makes your stomach drop even further than it already has.
>An alarm klaxon.
>The alarm sounds twice, then the dim lighting in the room dies with pops of glass and the electrical screech of sockets overloading, leaving the glowing bridge generator as the only light source.
>Both Vanduff and the admin’s faces are screwed up in shock and dismay. The admin’s fingers run over the tablet in his hands in a panicked staccato, but from the growing horror in his eyes, it seems to be for naught.
>Faster than a man his age should, Vanduff rips open the door and runs out, frantically gesturing to follow him.
>’Tall’ runs for it and leaves his spot, frightened tears running down his face, heedless of the admin’s terrified scream of warning which was lost to the roar of the bridge generator.
>You can only watch with wide eyes as an arc of energy jumps from a prong into ‘Tall’s back, savagely ripping through his armor and plate carrier, leaving black flesh and molten metal behind.
>The poor man’s eyes were glassy before he even hit the ground.
>You can only vaguely hear the medic’s cry before all your senses other than PAIN cut out.
>Your scream is lost even to your own ears as you feel like you’re being pushed through a hole the size of a pinhead, then…
>White.

11/x

>>29967996
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“Trust me on this, Spike. I know I’ve got it this time!”
>”Whatever you say, Twilight,” the young drake says, looking at the runic circle on the ground dubiously. “Why do you need to do this again?”
>You set the chalk in your magical grasp down and look at the book floating at your side again.
>Wow. Alicorn eyes don’t need much light to see well, and your clear vision in the dim basement proves it.
“Need to?” you ask with a grin. “Well of course I don’t NEED to, but I WANT to. I’m the princess of friendship now, Spike. Imagine what sort of incredible lessons we could learn by making friends across the Aether? Besides, it’s just a temporary summons. I can let who ever I summon go whenever they want.”
>Spike crosses his arms, not buying it. “Are you sure you’re not just summoning a coltfriend or something? This seems awful involved for a temporary thing.”
>And as if it were magic, you choke on nothing.
>You REALLY need to stop letting Spike hangout with Rainbow unsupervised. She spouts things that no child needs to hear, let alone a young drake.
“No! I’m not abusing magic for something so vulgar!” You deny, but mentally file the idea away. “This is purely academical.”
>”Then why not do it before?”

12/x

>>29967999
TRIPS

>You grumble under your breath.
>Spike tilts his head “What?”
>You grumble again.
>”Twi, comon…”
“I didn’t have the mana capacity for it!” You exclaimed, embarrassed.
>”Oh…” Spike says demurely, wringing his claws. “Sorry, I didn’t know…”
>You sigh and pull the little dragon into a wing-hug, something you’ve found pleasant about your new appendages.
“It’s fine, Spike. It’s probably not something you’d expect from me…”
>He nods against your side, making you smile.
“Now, how about you head upstairs while I finish up down here.”
>You give the drake a sly look as he pulls away from you.
“Besides, I saw the mailmare fly by earlier. Didn’t you order some new Cosmo Trek comics a week ago?”
>Your surrogate brother’s eyes go wide. “Oh mare, I totally forgot!”
>And with that, he’s off like a rocket, his short steps rapidfire across the wooden floor and up the stairs.
>Heh. You don't really approve of him reading marely things like those comics, but he loves them so much that you just can't deny him.
>Anyways, MAGIC TIME!

13/x

>>29968000
AGAIN

>You turn back to the runic circle on the ground and double check it again, your alicorn mind providing a helpful boost to your memory.
>Now if only it didn’t take a week to make...
>Both Princess Celestia and Luna could stand in the circle wingtip to wingtip with room to spare the circle was so huge, though, not without stepping on any of the countless whirling, almost Neighponise runes the fill it’s entirety.
>It’s so huge that you had to clear out the basement, leaving your junk upstairs…
>It pained you to leave the library so dirty, but it’ll just have to wait.
>Not a single crooked line, and not a single speck of chalk dust
>It’s time!
>With light, giddy steps, you sat yourself at the ‘front’ of the circle and sit on your haunches.
>The warm, pleasurable feeling of your horn pulling energy from your core never gets old, you idly muse.
>Your horn lights up in a wavering corona the same color as your coat, casting a pale, violet light in the dark basement.
>As if craving the fuel for it’s magic, the circle pulls the freely offered violet energy in thin, luminescent ribbons, making the lines of chalk glow with a white light that slowly grows more brilliant.

14/x

>>29968003
>Before your eyes, the runes light up seemingly at random, but you know it’s a sequence. Why the runes have such an activation order is beyond you, but the magician who created the summoning masterpiece must have had a reason.
>Before long, the whole circle is lit up and slowly rising off the floor, not longer simple chalk.
>Now is the part you could not do before.
>With a deep breath, you brace yourself.
“Here goes nothing…”
>You show your eyes shut and lower your head to a perfect 45 degree angle, then…
>*HIIISSSSSSSSSS*
>You wince as you shunt mana through only the spiral of your horn at 22.4 mu/s, just as the book said, sending a hissing, steam-like cloud of gaseous energy into the air.
>The circle hums in a bone-rattling tone as it eagerly sucks in the mana vapor, pulling in a curving, spiral pattern into itself.
>Comon, Twilight, hold it together…
>Sweat drips down your brow as a few seconds turns into a minute, then into five minutes, then fifteen.
>Just as you feel your legs wobble from the horrid drain, the summoning circle goes silent and stops pulling, floating a few centimeters off the ground and glowing softly.
>You… You did it.
>You’ve got a stable summoning circle!
>With a tired smile, you wipe at your forehead with a wing, careful to avoid your throbbing horn.

15/x

>>29968004
>Now that you have the circle to do the transdimensional heavy lifting, you just need to make desummon triggers.
“Glass baubles should work…” you hum idly to yourself. “Easy to break, so the tether on them holding the summoned creature here can be severed without hassle.”
>Just as you pick up the book again, the circle hums, freezing you in place.
>You didn’t feed it any mana, so why..?!
>Your eyes snap down to the book in your grip.
“No…”
>The book in your MAGIC grip, The magic of which is being pulled away right into the circle.
>Horror digs it’s icy claws into your stomach.
“No!”
>You just used raw magic a foreleg’s length away from a catalyst that you forgot to ground.
>The circle is summoning something without you inputting any summoning parameters.
>And you have ZERO desummon triggers.
“NO!”
>You back against the wall and crush your mana back with sheer will, leaving your entire body unpleasantly numb.
>This is the one that WILL get you banished, princess or not.

16/x

>>29968005
>The wind picks up in the basement, spiraling around the circle with deafening howl and blocking your view with a veil of dust.
>It’s all you can do to hold your wings in front of your face to keep the dust out of your eyes and lungs.
>You dare not use more magic.
>The whirlwind turns from a howl to a shrill shriek, one more befitting a dying animal than magically charged air.
>The ground level windows all either shatter or blow open, sending glass into the maelstrom.
>You crack open a single eye just in time to witness the circle pulsate and writhe, then with the sound of steel cable snapping, the whole thing shatters into motes of blinding light.
>Without warning, it stops. The wind dies and the dust and glass shards fall to the ground.
>Ever so slowly, you pull your wings away and open your eyes, still unsure of the situation through the ringing in your ears.
>*Thump!*
“Eep!”
>You hoof shoots to your mouth too slow to stop the colty sound.
“Oh no…”
>Eyes wide, you look at the circle.
>Or where it used to be.
>In the middle of the room lies a huge, and apparently facedown figure sporting what seemed to be clothes.

17/x

>>29968007
>You gulp, trying to reign in your curiosity with… limited success?
>Who are you kidding, the suspense is killing you.
>The figure groans in a deep and distinctly masculine voice, slowly using it’s forearms to turn itself over.
>It, or he? He flips onto his back with another heavy *Thump!* and stares at the ceiling with narrowed, foal-like eyes.
>The eyes turn their sharp gaze to you, rooting you into the spot as they seem to stare past you.
>You gulp.
“Are… Are you okay?”
>Mentally, you kick yourself after processing your own question. This poor creature isn’t going to understand Equish without some sort of translation spell.
>And the one built into the circle is long gone since the circle itself is gone.
>Twilight, you really need to quit dropping the ba-.
>”Yeah, I’m fine. Physically at least. My day isn’t going too well, though.”
>Your jaw drops.
>The now definitely alien stallion blinks at you and lets out a breath. “Mind if I sit here for a moment? I really don’t want to get up.”
>You just nod vacantly.
>A fine mess this is, Twilight. You just foalnapped a random alien stallion.
>Silent freakout now, rational thought later.

18/18

>>29966868
She is a stage magician, she's got all kinds of props.

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>>29967969
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>>29968009
Bada bing bada boom. I did a thing, and have ambitions and even a small number of other rough chapters for it. Thanks LaP for pestering me literally always. I love you, fagbag. RGRE will be a prevalent theme, but it won’t be the only one, and the story will be a bit more on the serious side.

r8 n h8

https://pastebin.com/4wGMsAch

>>29968017
It's good, I'm carious to see where you take this.

>>29968017
Really liking the inner monologue so far. Seems realistic.

>>29968017
Kinda weird that they would use humans to test out a portal, as opposed to robot drones. Of course, maybe they had drones ready, and the accident just happened instead.
I was half expecting a Stargate, then SCP foundation.
So far, so good.

>>29968017
Aww yeah i love this kind of thing. Been awhile since I read a story with a proper scifi esque start. Can't wait to see how things progress.

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>>29968017
the only thing is dont like is how i have to wait for an update.

>>29968170
It sounds like they have teleported things before, just not living matter.

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>>29968017
Just hope that's some "/k/ Anon in RGRE shenanigans with some culture clash" and not another "Anon bangs Twilight story" but so far it's really good.

>>29968017
NOF, Have you ever been interrogated by the authorities before?
Or have you just watched too many movies?

Why live?

>>29968661
To watch dead writers return to life.
ARISE THREAD

>>29968017
It's shadowrun with ponies?

>>29968377
Given how long it went before even talking about ponies, it will probably not be just an "Anon fuck twilight" fic.

Also, I wanna learn more about the Virginia Disaster.

>>29968724
I don't think so, there's no mention of space herpes.

>>29968255
He didn't use trips. That means you can become the NOF. Make is a silly lighthearted Pinkie Pie wackisode.

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Hey, I got more Fleur

>>29968790

>When Fleur had been a young foal, and the world had been a much bigger place, there wasn’t anything that she loved more than to pile a mountain of blankets on top of her bed and hide under them all. It had always calmed her after a stressful day. The warmth, the gentle weight of the blankets, the darkness that they could provide. It helped make the big, scary world a little smaller and more controllable.

>Her bed might have been much bigger now than it had been when she was small and her blankets might have been better made and far more expensive, but it seemed like what she had felt as a filly still held true. There was something comforting lying under the blankets, something that spoke to her on a subconscious level.

>The world wasn’t bad in this bed. There were no cameras or news reporters. Her manager wasn’t who-knows-where losing his marbles. She didn’t have to do damage control under twenty blankets, and she also didn’t have to explain her inappropriate behavior to her employers. All she needed to do was lay here, stare at the blanket in front of her, and do her best to ignore anyone but herself. As she had for the last two days.

Underneath her blanket pile, she let out a groan. “[i]Putain de merde[/i]…”

>Sinking as deep into her bed as she could, the supermodel closed her eyes, looking forward to another day of warmth and anxiety. Before she could properly begin wallowing however, the door to her balcony opened.

>“[i]Fräulein[/i]!”

Blankets flew everywhere as Fleur quickly sat up, only to become tangled. “[i]Fichu! Damné! Imbécile![/i]”

>The more the supermodel struggled against her blankets the more tangled she became. Cursing loudly and often, she thrashed and rolled around her bed as hard as she could, determined to free herself. Unfortunately for her, she was a little too determined, and found herself rolling out of her bed for her troubles.

“Oomph! Stupid [i]couvertures[/i]!”

>>29968796

>Her intruder tsked. Trotting over, she began to free her from the silk prison that she had made herself.

>“[i]Meine[/i] Celestia, Fleur. To zink that only after two days I’d find you in such a state!”

“[i]Foutre le camp[/i]!”

>“Watch zat mouth. You might not be my daughter but I’ll bend you over [i]meine[/i] knee and beat you all the same.”

>Eventually, after even more cursing and ineffectual wiggling, a red-faced, thoroughly humiliated, and panting Fleur found herself staring up into the bemused face of Photo Finish.

The unicorn’s brow furrowed at the sight of her old friend. “…Photo? What are you doing here?”

>Photo, bending down, picked her up like a foal and lifted her onto her back. “I heard zat you were hiding in your room like ze little filly that was caught with her hoof in ze cookie jar, so I decided to come see you.”

Fleur tried to roll off the older mare’s back, but with the strength that only an earth pony could have, Photo held her in place. “[i]Non[/i], I meant how did you get in here? I told my security not to let anypony on the premises.”

>Tossing her onto her makeup chair, Photo scoffed. “Zose [i]dummkopf[/i] couldn’t keep a pony out of here if zey walked through ze front door.”

“All of the doors were locked!”

>“Which is why I climbed to ze balcony, my dear.”

>Fleur tried to push herself out of her chair, only to be pushed right back in it. Grumbling in Prench, she glared at her old friend. Photo ignored the glare, humming a tune to herself as she pulled out a comb from somewhere in her dress and began working on the supermodel’s mane.

>“Look at zis, look at zis… You look like ze crazy mare,” she said with a shake of her head.

Fleur winced as Photo yanked apart a knot in her mane. “Could I at least do this myself please? You’re going to tear half of my mane out!”

>>29968803

>“[i]Nein[/i],” Photo said, lightly tapping her horn with the comb before going back to brushing.

>The supermodel let out an explosive sigh, sinking into her chair. A pause settled onto the room, which was only interrupted by the occasional grunt and yelp of pain.

“…So, how is everything outside?”

>“It’s a mad house,” Photo said, clicking her tongue. “Ponies are talking, Essence is yapping like ze little dog. When I jumped your fence—”

“You did wha—OW!”

>“Hush. When I jumped your fence, I saw zat the streets were crowded with paparazzi and news ponies.”

>Fleur closed her eyes. She had a feeling this was going to happen.

She sighed again, moving her head to the side to give Photo better access to her mane. “…And how is Anon doing? Has anypony been bothering him? Is he alright? Is he safe?”

>“I told Anon to stay in his apartment for ze time being,” Photo said, giving Fleur’s head another little tap with the comb before tossing it across the room. “Zere we go! Good as new!”

>Fleur’s gaze flicked up to her mirror. Though her mane looked nothing like it would have if her stylist was here, it was much better than it had been a few minutes ago.

“[i]Merci[/i], Photo,” she said.

>Nodding her head, Photo yanked Fleur out of the chair and dropped her onto her back, much to the supermodel’s displeasure. She kicked and wiggled, but it was no use as Photo trotted toward her bedroom door.

>“Come! We must be off!”

“Photo! Put me down!

>“[i]Nein[/i] You must get out of ze house. I will take you to a café and we will drink coffee and talk.”

“What?! [i]Non[/i]!”

>“[i]Ja[/i]! Now stop squirming you, [i]kind[/i]!”


>Thankfully, Photo had put Fleur down before the two of them went outside. Fleur had, of course, tried to make a break for her bedroom, but ended up being dragged to the front door by her tail for her troubles.

“This is ridiculous.”

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>>29968812

>“Hush, before I give ze cameras something to take ze pictures of.”

>The moment that her front door was open Fleur could hear the sounds of a camera clicking. When she was forced outside by a hard bump to the rump, that was when the questioning started.

>“Fleur! Colt Corban here! Are the accusations that you were caught stealing kisses true?”

>“Fleur! Is this just a publicity stunt or something more?”

>“Fleur! What does your new alien lover’s dick look like? Does it have four heads? Does it shoot out eggs instead of semen? Do you have some of those eggs inside of you right now? What color are they?”

>“Did he put it in your butt? Is that how his kind birth their young?!”

>Fleur shied away from the questions and camera clicks. She looked at the ground, trying to appear as small as possible.

“Photo, why don’t we go back inside?” she suggested. “I can have some coffee made and we can talk—”

>“Nonsense!” Photo cried, marching toward the gate that separated them from the mob. “Just let me deal with zese leeches and we’ll be on our way.”

>She turned toward the security guards standing by the gate. Both mares looked baffled as to how the earth pony had gotten past them, but Photo ignored it, throwing a hoof into the air.

“Open ze door!”

>The guards looked at each other before looking over at Fleur. Fleur, of course, shook her head.

>“Open ze door, you ninnies!” Photo demanded, pointing a hoof at them while looking up at the sky. “Hurry now! Daylight is burning!”

>The guards twitched at the older mare’s shout before leaping to action. The crowd, seeing them unlocking the gate, pressed in with camera’s ready. Seeing this, Fleur took a step back, ready to run back to her house if the mob surged forward.

>Clearing her throat and fixing her dress, Photo looked back at the unicorn and smiled. “Don’t go anywhere, [i]mein Mädchen[/i]. I’ll be right back.”

>>29968816

>As the gates creaked open, Photo trotted toward the group of ponies with her head held high. Paparazzi and news ponies alike pressed themselves against the gate, trying to open it faster. A mare, her notebook at the ready, managed to push through the mob and stand before the photographer turned producer.

>“Photo Finish, Newscast here! What do you have to say about the allegations surrounding Ms. de Lis’—”

>Photo reached into the sleeve of her dress and pulled out a newspaper. Rolling it up into a tight bundle, she looked up at the mare, frowned, and smacked her on the head with it. The mare, who had been looking down at her notebook, was taken completely by surprise. Her questions turned into a yelp as he jumped back, rubbing the top of her head.

>Photo continued forward, her weapon at the ready. “Begone with you!” she barked, swinging the newspaper like a bat. “Go! Shoo! Before I give you ze business, you [i]hund[/i]!”

>She forced the poor mare to retreat back into the mob, but she didn’t stop there. Letting out a mighty battle cry in Germaneic, the earth pony leapt into the crowd and began hitting everything within hooves’ length.

>“Argh!”

>“Ow!”

>“Somepony stop that mare!”

>“Stop! Get away!”

>“She just booped that mare’s snoot! The monster!”

>Through savagery alone, Photo drove back the dozens of ponies, much to the amazement of Fleur and her guards. The older mare cursed, spat, and hissed like an angry lioness. Every time the mob tried to lead a counterattack it was beaten back with ruthless efficiency, and every time they tried to swarm her it ended with ponies running away holding their heads.

>“[i]Ja, ja[/i], take your pictures! Where do you zink you’re going? Come back here you [i]ungeziefer[/i]!”

>>29968820

>Eventually the mob found themselves fleeing for their lives, dropping notebooks and whatever else they were holding so they could run faster. The ponies that were standing on the edges of the battlefield, the shopkeepers and regular joes, could be heard laughing hysterically as the streets emptied until only Photo remained.

>The mare’s hair was wild. Her glasses were crooked and she was panting hard. Her trusty newspaper was torn and tattered, a testament to its use.

>Baring her teeth, Photo looked around to see if there were anymore foes to defeat. Seeing none, she took a deep breath and cleared her throat.

>She slipped her newspaper back into her dress, fixing her glasses and running a hoof through her mane. She then adjusted her dress, looked to her left and right to see if she was presentable, and looked over at Fleur.

>“See? All fixed,” she said with a smile. “Now come along, [i]Fräulein[/i]. Zat was thirsty work.”


@-@-@-@-@-@


>As luck would have it, one of the ponies that had been watching the massacre was the owner of a very nice little café not that far from Fleur’s home. The old stallion had insisted that they come down for a cup off coffee—free of charge, of course; he hadn’t laughed that hard in ages—and was even nice enough to put the two in a secluded booth so that they could talk in relative peace.

>“So, what happened, [i]Mädchen[/i]?” Photo asked. “I’ve heard a dozen different things from a dozen different ponies. Now I want to hear it from you.”

Fleur sighed, bringing her cup to her lips and taking a sip of her drink while she thought on how to begin. “I don’t know, [i]mon chere[/i], I truly don’t,” she admitted, her shoulders sagging. “We were sitting in one of the back rooms, he showed me a few movies that he had on his computer, I somehow fell asleep on top of him…”

>“Did you mount him zen?” Photo asked, leaning forward.

>>29968823

Fleur flinched as if slapped. “What? No!” she shouted. “I’d never do that in the studio!”

>“And why not? Zere are worse places to buck,” Photo said, taking a sip of her coffee. “Ponies used to rut in those rooms all the time when ze studio first opened. You couldn’t open a door without seeing a mare splayed out spread ea—”

“Will you keep your voice down? They’re other ponies in here!”

>“What? It’s just a little bit of sex.”

“It’s inappropriate!”

>“Says ze mare that was caught on top of her photographer.”

“T-That was a misunderstanding!”

>Photo smiled around the edges of her coffee cup. “You need to learn to live a little [i]liebe[/i]. All work and no play tends to burn ponies out.”

>Fleur quickly looked around to see if anyone was staring at their booth. When she saw that no eyes were glancing in their direction she leaned forward toward her old friend.

“I shouldn’t have done what I did, even if it’s not what ponies think,” she said, looking down onto the table. “It was terribly unprofessional and in poor taste.”

>“Blah! Zere was nothing wrong with what you did,” Photo said with a dismissive wave of the hoof. “If I had been in your position I would have taken zat colt somewhere private to make [i]ze magics[/i] weeks ago. Zere’s nothing better for a shoot zen for a few ponies on set to rut. It always helps blow off a little steam.”

>Despite herself, Fleur found her cheeks reddening. Disgust, not unlike what a child that walked in on their parents going at it felt, welled up into her stomach. Fleur swallowed the bile that was making its way up her throat before taking another sip of her coffee.

“Yes… well, be that as it may, I shouldn’t have done what I did, and now I’m paying the price for it.”

>>29968826

>Photo snorted. “[i]Nein[/i], ze only thing that you did wrong was act like ze silly filly and hide away in your room after everypony found out about it.”

>Leaning forward, she bopped Fleur on the nose.

>“If you would have just come out and admitted it ponies would have been talking for a day or two at most, but because you hide now zey have ze ants in their pants and your manager has to do ze damage control.”

Realization hit Fleur in the stomach like a punch, causing her ears to fold against her skull. “I… I might have overreacted,” she said after a pause.

>Photo nodded, setting her now empty coffee cup onto the table. “[i]Ja[/i], you did.”

“If I would have just came out the next day and explained what actually happened the paparazzi wouldn’t have been hounding me for the last few days,” Fleur continued, feeling sillier and sillier by the second. “Even if they wouldn’t have believed me there would have only been whispers…”

>“And ze occasional mare zat would ask you how he was,” Photo said, making a shockingly lewd gesture with a hoof. “Or if his cock had more zan one head or whatever silly things fillies fantasize about these days.”

Fleur’s blush crept down to her neck. “Why didn’t I just do that?” she muttered to herself. “Why didn’t I…?”

>Her thoughts drifted toward Anon, causing her stomach to tighten. How was he doing in the midst of all of this? Did he feel angry about what she had done? Betrayed? Would he refuse to work with her anymore, or even go back to his own world and leave her?

Her shoulders sagged. “I should go to Anon and apologize for putting him through this, as well as… taking advantage of him.”

>“Taking advantage? [i]Quatsch[/i]!” Photo said, hopping onto her chair. “Zere is no shame in showing a stallion ze affection!”

“Photo, [i]sit down[/i],” Fleur hissed, sinking into her chair in horror. “Ponies are—”

>>29968820
I know advanced magics are hard, but I feel like learning an invisibility spell would be a lot more convenient than relying on a german mare to beat the shit out of paparazzi.

>>29968835
I dunno, german mares tend to be pretty effective at removal.

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>>29968833

>“You are ze model Fleur de Lis! Alien or not, Anon should thank his lucky stars zat you want to make ze foals with him!”

“[i]What[/i]?! I wasn’t trying to—Will you stop—?”

>Before Fleur could finish her sentence, Photo leapt up onto the table, nearly knocking both of their cups to the floor. The patrons of the café, curious as to what all of the fuss was about, began glancing in her direction. The owner of the café, who was standing began his little wooden counter, immediately brightened, leaning over his counter to get a better look.

>“I found you and raised you as [i]mein[/i] own foal! You are ze pinnacle of grace and class! You own the stage! Ze camera loves you! Your rump is something ze youth of Equestria drift off to sleep dreaming about!”

Fleur sunk a bit more into her chair. “[i]This[/i] is why I don’t let you take me to places anymore!”

>“To not be ashamed [i]mein[/i[ little [i]Liebiling[/i]! Stand tall!”

>The unicorn tried to pull Photo off the table with a spell. Photo dodged it by leaping into the air. When her hooves hit the table a bang that could have been heard down the street thundered throughout the café, causing what little ponies weren’t watching the two to look over.

>“Do as you like, my dear! Let no pony stop you!” Photo continued, striking a pose. “Ze [i]world[/i] is your stage!”

>This was the final straw for Fleur. With a silent cry, she hopped up from her chair and grabbed her old mentor. Using both her physical strength and her magic, she managed to pull the earth pony off of the table and set her back into her chair.

>“Hey! I wasn’t done with ze speaking,” Photo complained, trying to get up, only for Fleur to magically glue her backside to her chair.

“I know, which is why I’m stopping you, you [i]Jument fou[/i]

>“Is zat how I raised you? To speak to your elders like zat?”

“If you’re my elder than [i]act like it[/i]!”

>>29968857

Laughter rang out throughout the café as Fleur sat back down with as much dignity as she could muster. “Now behave yourself. I’d rather not be in the papers for anything else, thank you.”

>“Every model needs ze scandal or two in her career,” Photo said, fixing her glasses. “[i]Und[/i] this is barely one. Ponies are going to be more upset when zey find out zat you weren’t ze first filly to [i]vögeln[/i] a human.”

“I’d never make love to Anon just to boost my [i]reputation[/i]!” Fleur said, puffing up in indignation.

>Photo raised an eyebrow. “Make love?”

Fleur deflated a bit when she realized what she had just said. “I… you know what I mean! Rutting, bucking, making love; it’s all the same thing!”

>“Volume, dear.”

“Not that I’m implying that I wouldn’t because I find him unattractive! I actually find him very pleasing to look at, but that doesn’t mean that I’d ruin what we have just to have my name in the papers! That stallion deserves much, much better than that!”

>“Oh really, [i]Mädchen[/i]?”

“Of course! You know that I’m not that kind of mare! If Anon and I were ever to take our relationship to the next level, which I doubt he’d ever want to do for a number of reasons, I’d make sure to—”

>Mid-rant, Fleur noticed that she had somehow found her face uncomfortable close to Photo’s. Moving away from the smirking mare, she found that she was standing on her chair, using the edges of the table as support so she could lean across it. More chuckles and even an aw or two reached her ears, causing her to jump back to her seat with an “epp!”

>“Is zere anything else zat you want to tell ze public?” Photo asked, leaning back into her chair. “Perhaps you’d like you sing songs of love for your soon to be [i]Lebenspartner[/i]?”

>Fleur took a sudden and overwhelming interest in the table, fidgeting in her seat. More good-natured chuckles giggled the air.

>>29968862

>A waiter, carrying two steaming cups of coffee, trotted over to the unicorn and earth pony, grabbing their empty cups and setting the new ones in front of them.

>“There you two go. It’s on the house again,” he said, obviously trying to hold back a smile.

>“[i]Danke,[/i]” Photo said, picking up her coffee and blowing on it.

“[i]Merci[/i],” Fleur muttered, refusing to look at anypony.

>The waiter nodded, and was about to turn around to go back to the counter, but stopped. “Ms. Fleur? I know that everypony might be havin’ a bit of fun at your expense, but I hope you know we’re not being mean about it,” he said. “Out of all of those fancy ponies near the castle and on the east end, none of them do as much as you for this city. So, if you want to get an alien coltfriend, just know we’ll be happy to support you.”

Fleur’s nose scrunched up. “[i]Non, cher[/i], he’s not my—”

>Before she could finish her sentence, she petered out, letting out a defeated sigh.

“…Thank you very much.”

>The stallion, satisfied with her answer, nodded his head. “Great! If you two need anything else just let me know.”

>Both Fleur and Photo watched as he made his way back to the counter. Photo was biting her lip, obviously trying to keep herself from laughing. Fleur, meanwhile, looked like she was ready to beat her head against the table until one of them broke.

>“If I were you, I’d go and speak to Anon, [i]Mädchen[/i],” Photo said, taking a sip of her coffee. “Otherwise, he’s going to be very confused when ze papers begin printing stories that you and him are [i]Liebhaber[/i].”

Fleur, too emotionally exhausted to be embarrassed about the little jab, sighed. “I should go and speak to him anyway. I still need to apologize for what I did.”

>>29968872

>“[i]Ja[/i], but make sure to have ze blinds closed when ze two of you are about to ‘apologize’,” Photo advised, setting her cup down. “We wouldn’t want to give any papers any more stories, yes?”

>The tip of Fleur’s horn glowed as she picked up her coffee cup and took a lady like sip. The newspaper hidden in the bowels of Photo’s dress slid out of the mare’s sleeve, and before she could so much as blink it smacked her right on the head. Hard.


@-@-@-@-@-@-@


“…Are you sure this is the place, Photo?”

>“[i]Ja[/i]. Zis is ze address that Anon give me.”

>Fleur looked at the large, worn apartment complex in front of her. Immediately, she could see that it had seen better days. The once white walls had been stained by mud and smoke. Not a single window was clean, and the majority of them were cracked or replaced with wood. Even the front door was a little worse for wear, its metal frame bent, rusted, and hanging at an odd angle.

“Why in Celestia’s name would Anon want to live [i]here[/i]?” Fleur asked, a twinge of horror in her voice. “Wouldn’t the princesses have offered him a room at the castle?”

>“Zey did, as did I, but Anon told us no,” Photo said with a shrug. “Ze stallion said zat he didn’t want to be a bother.”

“There’s not wanting to be a bother and living in a place where he could get hurt!”

>“Oh, zis is the south side. Ze only thing he has to worry about is ponies knocking on his door all hours of the day so zey can come in and talk his ear off.”

>Fleur looked at her old mentor, then at the looming building once more. Photo was, of course, right. Even if the South Side was the poorer section of the city, the ponies here weren’t known for anything nefarious or vile. In fact, she knew them as some of the most generous mares and stallions that she had ever met. Still though, that worry didn’t make her feel any less worried.

>>29968882

“This is almost an hour away from the studio,” she said. “If he really wanted to get a place of his own he should have found one a little closer…”

>“He said zat he wanted the cheapest place in the city, since he wanted to save his bits.”

“He wouldn’t have to spend any money at all if he’d have just stayed with the princesses or you!”

>“Yes, well, after you proclaim your love I’m sure you could offer him a room in your mansion. Perhaps in your own bedroom,” Photo said, giving Fleur a pat on the back, which was immediately slapped away. “He’ll be on ze third floor, room fifteen.”

“[i]Merci[/i],” Fleur replied, taking a half-step toward the building.

>“You can do it, my girl. I believe in you,” Photo said with a smile. “Now I must be off. Zere are other places that I must be.”

>Looking up onto the sky, the earth pony clapped her hooves. “Strudel! Guerlain!”

>Two mares rushed out of the alley next to the building. Heads held high, they trotted over and picked up Photo, who struck a pose. They then proceeded carry her down the street while Photo began humming the Germaney national anthem.

“…What?” Fleur murmured, before shaking her head. “Wait! Why don’t you come in with me, [i]mon ami[/i]? You could—”

>The supermodel’s call came just a few moments too late as Photo and her assistants disappeared around a corner, leaving her all alone in front of this rundown building.

“[i]Pommes à cheval[/i]…”

>Dryly swallowing, Fleur looked back up at the building. She took another half-step forward, only to take a nervous step back. She tried to take another step, only for similar results.

>>29967478
There is legitimately nothing wrong with cereal for dinner

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>>29968883
“Come on now, [i]fille[/i]. You need to go see him,” she said. “You need to apologize. Make things right.”

>Gathering up her courage, she took a step forward, then another, then another. She made her way up the steps to the building’s front door, opening it up and stepping inside. After that it was just a matter of navigating the halls and finding the steps.

>She made her way to her photographer’s apartment slowly, carefully pondering what she was going to say to him. An apology was obviously in order, but what kind of apology? Was a simple sorry going to cut it, or was she going to need to really show him just how bad she felt putting him through all of this?

>Though the urge to run back to her house so she could hide in her bedroom made the fur on the back of her neck stand on edge more than once, Fleur eventually found herself on the third floor standing in front of room fifteen.

>The hallway was silent. Not a pony could be seen. While the carpet looked like it had been cleaned recently half of lights were broken or flickering, giving the hall a slightly menacing feeling, which did absolutely nothing to calm the unicorn down.

>Fleur found herself breathing in and out deeply, trying to steady her pounding heart. She ran a hoof through her hair, making sure that it was somewhat presentable. After that she checked to make sure that her breath wasn’t overly strong or foul.

“[i]Fantastique[/i],” she said with a cough, reaching up to knock on the door. Just as she was about to tap her hoof against it, however, she stopped.

Her gaze snapped to her hoof, her brow furrowing in frustration. “[i]Caillement[/i].”

>Setting her hoof down, and tried again, this time with a little more force. Again her hoof was just about to touch the door when she rose.

“[i]Frappez la porte stupide, tu sissy[/i]!”

>With an angry wiggle, she tried again and failed.

“Knock. On. The. Door.”

> Watching a green get posted real time
> Unf.

>>29968892

>Taking a few steps back, she charged the door, hoof extended. Just as her hoof was about to touch the door, her body froze, despite her best efforts. Growling, she then tried her other hoof, then both of her hooves, then her horn, then her whole body, but none of it worked. No matter how hard she tried or what she did, she couldn’t bring herself to knock on the door.

>In the end, she found herself panting and red-faced some both embarrassment and shame while also quietly thanking anyone listening that no one was around to see her make a fool of herself.

“I’ll… I’ll come back tomorrow,” she said with a nod, wiping a bead of sweat from her forehead. “Maybe I’ll—”

>The rest of the supermodel’s sentence caught in her throat as she watched the doorknob in front of her turn. There was a sharp click, and with a creak the door began to open.

>Fleur’s heart leapt to her throat. She wanted to take off down the hall, teleport away, hide in the laundry shoot behind her, do everything and anything in her power not to see the person on the other end of that door, but she couldn’t move. Her body was frozen in place. She could only stand there wide-eyed as the door fully opened, revealing her photographer carrying a garbage bag.

>Anon’s eyes were half-lidded and his hair was messy, as if he had just woken up from a nap. He was wearing a pair of black and gold pajama bottoms and a sweatshirt that was three sizes too big for him. Yawning hugely, the young man took a step out of his apartment before stopping. His eyes snapped down to her and her perked up.

“Oh… hey Fleur, how are you—”

“[i]Bonjour[/i], Anon!” Fleur said, a little too loudly. “It’s very nice to see you! You’re looking very comfortable this evening! Nice weather isn’t it? I’m sorry and—”

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>>29968898

“--have you been well? You look well! And [i]élégant[/i] as well!”

>Anon just stood there, letting her talk. He looked thoroughly confused as he listened to her, though he made no move to close his door or brush past her.

“I’m sorry that I wasn’t able to come see you sooner! I was just busy hid—I mean, I was thinking about a great many things while under my blank— What I mean to say is—”

>Biting back a scream, Fleur eventually managed to silence herself by sticking a hoof into her mouth. Her face was cherry red, and if it weren’t for the fact that her stomach was doing backflips she would have teleported out of the building and into her house through sheer force alone.

>An unsure, awkward silence filled the hallway as the two stared at each other. Anon, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, cleared his throat.

>“…Hello Fleur.”

Fleur slowly pulled her hoof from her mouth. “…Hello Anon.”

>Anon poked his head out of his room. He looked around a bit, and seeing that the halls were empty he placed his garbage outside next to the door.

>“A pony comes around and takes the trash out for us,” he said, after he saw the expression on Fleur’s face.

“Ah… interesting,” the unicorn lamely replied.

>Anon’s lips twitched, and he very nearly smiled. “Hey, would you like to come in for a little while? You look like you could use a chair and something to drink.”

“I—” Fleur stopped herself, feeling the flow of words threatening to boil over once again. “I’d like that..."

>>29968901
Alright, I'm done. If you guys see funny sentences or spelling, or anything else that looks wrong, let me know

>>29968906
The biggest problem I have is that it stopped. It should never stop. Hook your brain to a computer, hire someone to constantly put you on IV and change the nutrient bags,and never ever stop writing, ever.

>>29968898
>>29968901
A flustered Fleur is a cute.

>>29968906
>>29968017
>LaP and NOF
>In one thread.
Sweet dreams are made of these.

>>29968017
>NOF is back
Today is a very, very good day. Would you consider going back to working on "Bump in the night"? Been hoping for more of that as well.

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>>29968906

>>29968855
PHYSICALLY REMOVE PAPARAZZI.

>>29968017
good shit NOF, looking forward to more

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>>29968017
Nice to see you NOF how have you been?

>>29967993
>I did NOT process all your clearance just to how you run away.”
> just to how you run away.
What was this supposed to say?

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>>29968017
>>29968906
>when NOF and LaP post in the same thread

>>29969095
Probably meant

>I did NOT process all your clearance just to have you run away.”

>>29968017
I AM INTEREST

>>29968857
>Fleur sunk a bit more into her chair. “[i]This[/i] is why I don’t let you take me to places anymore!”
kek

>>29968883
>>“He said zat he wanted the cheapest place in the city, since he wanted to save his bits.”
>in the city
What happened to her accent?

>>29968892
>Again her hoof was just about to touch the door when she rose
*when she froze

>>29969264
She's a unicorn. How do you know she didn't just levitate herself?

>>29968906
Super fucking cute my man, a flustered French supermodel is 2cute.

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>>29966738
The google docs link doesn't work anymore

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>Anon escaping from pones/sleeping in the White house ruins with snekwaifu

>>29966796

this anon were right.

These people are absolutely retarded, and they don't deserve a modicum of attention.

>>29969471
I don't know what the fuck is up with the recent OPs being completely fucking autistic, but it's starting to get annoying.

Fixed: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1b1jASUKcbpyp6u1nk0d8m8m_toNwUGSlesl7F1IPa4o/

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>>29968835
But it's actually affecting you guys. If it wasn't, you'd simply ignore me.

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You know what I hate? That weird male shaving trend. Like, stallions just take a razor and shave their fur down to 1/4 inch. It's gross and bristly, yet they keep doing it 'for us'. That's just nasty, sis.

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We've had Anon in the past, how about Anon in the future? Anon comes to Equestria 100 years after the mane 6 die.

>>29969684
>Twilight is 'alone'
>Along comes Anon
>Something something RGRE(Or it could be posted elsewhere.)

>>29968906
Somethings wrong alright.
It's that now I have to wait again for more.
The short sweet five mins of reading-bliss is always justifying the long dark waiting, but it still sucks.

>>29969684
>CMC are all still single into their late teens because no stallion will take all 3 of them.
>Sweetie swipes a summoning book from Twilight's collection.
>All 3 do a ritual to summon "A cool bf who will put up with our crazy shit."
>That's the only parameter they put.
>The result is unexpected.

>>29968017
Im interested in seeing where this goes

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>Better than average day at work.
>Find a steak-n-shake card between car seats for free dinner
>Friday motherfucka
>Come home to waterfall of sweet sweet (you)s

So it's true that good things happen to bad people.

>>29968104
>>29968149
>>29968170
>>29968245
>>29968255
>>29968377
>>29968724
>>29968933
>>29969031
>>29969101
>>29969134
>>29970656
>>29969066
>pic

>>29968377
You might be surprised at who takes stage romantically if the story goes that way.

>>29968423
>NOF, Have you ever been interrogated by the authorities before?
Once. A cop knocked on my door and asked if I was shooting cans in my backyard. I said no and he left. Then I went and shot more cans.

>>29968966
Maybe? I kind of left it to the wolves on fimfic, so someone might have picked it up.

Since this didn't faceplant like I half expected it to do so, I guess I gotta do more. Starting now.

/blog

>>29970729
>Starting now.
See you in June.

>Ponies may not wear clothes, but they have explicitly formal clothes, casual clothes, and even pajamas.
>They even like a bit of lingerie to liven up the bedroom.
>Except the stallion's the one to wear the lingerie.
>Your mare(s) want you to put something sexy on.
>Do you or do you not?

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>>29971465
>and even pajamas

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>>29971465
>Do you or do you not?

Do I not what? Not want them to put on clothes to look sexy? What are you some sort of faggot? Hell, get them dressed in whatever they want. Bonus points for coordinating something together.

>>29968017
You broke my heart before with One of a Kind.

Please don't do it again.

>>29971502
Your reading comprehension sucks. Re-read it, faggot.

>>29971514
Yep, read too fast. And yeah, would wear something. Why the fuck not.

>>29971502
If AJ wants me to wear assless chaps for her, I'm not too much of a faggot to do it.

>It is illegal for a species to go extinct within Equestria
>On his deathbed, Anon is ripped away from his friends and family and driven across the Griffonstone border
>Equestria internationally condemns Griffonstone for allowing a species to die out on their soil
>Anon's belongings are confiscated and placed in museums as a memorial to the human race, or disappear into laboratories for study
>Celestia personally expropriates his underwear drawer for close examination

>sometimes, when i'm in my office, i'll put a rubber band around my keyboard.
>and when someone comes into my office that drones on for a particular amount of time, ill slide the rubber band off so that it hits the mare in the face.
>then, i simply stare at them, unblinking. letting them know that they will look like the biggest sheathes in the world if they try to report my behavior.
>sound fun?

>>29968816
>“Fleur! What does your new alien lover’s dick look like? Does it have four heads? Does it shoot out eggs instead of semen? Do you have some of those eggs inside of you right now? What color are they?”

Kek

>>29967972
>thicc as a thot
what?

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>>29970729
>>29968017

>>29972111
Think he means "as voluptuous as a standard whore". Apparently thot is an acronym for "that ho over there".

>>29972111
its nigger speak

>>29971123
I'm thinking August...at the earliest.

>>29967993
> just to how you run away.”
have* not how.
>>29967992
>this in a need to know basis?
on* not in.

>>29967999
Fucking Twilight getting people killed? Sounds about right. Also checked.
>>29968000
double checked.

>>29969506
Why is trixie a coffee maker?

>>29972315
This is the future stallionists want

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>>29968003
>runes the fill it’s entirety.
that*
>>29968004
>not longer simple chalk.
no*
>>29968009
kek, pic related.

>>29971494
>tfw you will never get a sleepwalking blowjob by Rainbow on accident.

>>29972122
>>29972152
Ah...I learned a thing today.

>>29972391
>not a sleepscrewing

>>29968906
This is getting nowhere, this green is doomed. Seriously, just drop it, I somewhat lost interest with previous update and now it's just died.

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>>29972480

>>29968823
I have the sudden urge to waifu photo and fuck her in the middle of a warzone...is there something wrong with that?

>>29968883
...why did...what the hell?

>>29972480
Why did you lose interest?

>>29972411
Well yeah, but that comes next.
>>29972480
Bullshit shitposter for 500 anyone? Or was it, Obvious bait for 400?

>>29972409
ebonics is not learning anon

its brain aids

>>29972724
There's always been one autist who's a very vocal anti-LaP poster. He's been around for years.

>>29972331
Objectivy the mares.

>>29972881
Die cis white mare

>>29967973
I agree with this.
Oh yeah I also have a new phone now. Will be writing as soon as possible.

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>>29972480
Really? The Story has progressed since the last update, so I don't know what you're talking about.

>>29968906
I loved the update. I love your depiction of Photo Finish. I think we need a pic of her flogging the paparazzi with her newspaper.

>>29968017
I wasn't quite sure where you were going with this but you've caught my attention. I hope to see more.

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How do "Chad" mares in RGRE act?

The McD at my place is giving out MLP figurines with the happy meals. mfw not autistic enough to buy them.

>>29973685
good

>>29968906
Where is the pastebin for this story? I want to read the whole thing.

>>29973685
How to get kids toys without looking like a faggot:
>Step 1, Go to the place that has the toys.
>Step 2, have a list ready if its a store, if it's a fast food restaurant have a idea of what you will eat.
>Step 3, buy things such as liquor, shaving cream, and tampons. If it's a restaurant buy two adult meals and 1-2 kid's meals. Reason: They'll think you're a father just buying stuff for your kids and tampons for your bitch wife.
>Step 4 (Optional) : Go home and cry as you throw out the tampons, or eat your sorrows away as you think about where your life has led you is to buying children's toys.
>Step 5: read/write green text, because remember. You're here forever.

>>29973699
Not yet to my knowledge. Don't know why, but the stories are almost definitely being recorded in one way or the other. They usually end up in his pastebin later on or after he's finished.

>>29972698
Idea was weird right from the start, but it was readable, until this whole "pony society vs Anon" thing.

>>29974405
When did that happen?

Give me something to warm up those writing muscles, Anons.
I'll try pumping out about 500 words of a nice prompt.

>>29974416
Dont even bother replying to him, he's just a terrible baiter

>>29974485
What are you, 14? Don't be that angry with other people's opinions.

>>29974468
>prompt
Eh, thanks for the offering but we have like 10k prompts.

>>29975950
Sorry, I meant I wanted a nice prompt to warm up.
If anything catches my eye I'll write a short of maybe 500 words or so.
I've already found something from the prompt bin so it's okay.

>>29973673
Playing Haylo.

Hmmm... there have been >green where Anon tries to get in Cadence's non-existent pants or vice-versa, when they're either adults or teens (such as Young Love by PaleNarrator), but I don't think I've seen one where a teenage Cadence is trying to woo a teenaged Anonymous, RGRE-style.

So did that picture of the Cow Tipping girls get finished?

>>29976551
Try this anon: https://pastebin.com/1hAjUL8q

>>29976791
It's a TRAP!
Abort!
ABORT I SAY!

>>29976811
Anon never said anything about their relationship lasting.

Quick question, does NMM speak in old English?

>>29976850
no. she speaks old equestrian.

>>29976859
Got it, so 'thee's and 'thy's then?

>>29976869
no. Whinnies and Neighs.

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>>29976869
Yes.

>>29976926
Thanks Anon.

>>29976892
That was actually sorta clever.
You smartass.

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>The royal guards are all white stallions
>Celestia refuses to comment on the subject

>>29977014
Very expensive ball bras.

>>29977014
And Luna only has black batponies.
What's the problem here?

>>29967981
>“There’s a special place in hell for shitters like you, you know that?” you ask as you sign.
>>He has the gall to openly grin. “Indeed. That place is called the ‘throne’”.
Credit where its due, this is a pretty rad line.

The thread is dropping abnormally fast guys, stay vigilant.

>>29977458
New episode day, so new threads are popping up like crazy.

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>>29977458
>abnormally
>being this stupid
New episode today Anon of course there's going to be more activity in the board.

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>>29977014
Fuckin white mares tryn to keep a sista down

Slow day huh?

stoßen

>>29978514
What des this mean?

>>29978829
It means stoßen

>>29978829
that weird looking B in that word is a german letter for a double s. when translated to english it says "bump".

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>>29969483
Don't give up hope friend.
This is one of my horrible attempts at drawing.

>>29977014
>all of Celestia's soldiers are white. Except Flash Sentry.

Wait, hold the fuck up. Did she plan THAT too?

>>29977014
They're all related to her.

>>29967969
>G-Man is hiring another Gordon to take over Equestria like he took over Xen

>>29979478
A visible reminder from her days of conquest

I'd kill for some green

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Since Shining is usually depicted as marely in RGRE, would a FemShining be colty?

>>29980830
All the herding and some rgre-ish stuff is here now >>29964027

>>29981367
Why? We literally have a thread for this already, was it not clear that we shouldn't split the thread?

>>29981367
Haha yeah man already reading and waiting for green their as well.

>>29981422
Dunno, I just saw that thread, opened it and read a nice story.

>>29981440
>>29981455
.....am I the only one noticing how bad this is, or am I imagining things due to sleep deprivation?

>>29981362
>FemShining Armor(Gleaming Shield?) and Cadence have been best friends ever since they met.
>That friendship eventually turned romantic.
>But since Cadence is royal, she's expected to not drop her standards to that of "A lonely common mare"
>To make everything work, they need a herd.
>But inviting a stallion into their relationship is asking for trouble, since all the honest ones are long since taken...
>...Leaving almost nothing but gold diggers wanting to ride on royal coattails.
>In a flash of remembrance, Gleaming recalls something she often forgets.
>Her favorite biped drinking buddy is not taken, and is practically the opposite of a gold digger.
>He's just so marely and easygoing that Gleaming forgets he's a guy sometimes.
>If they can work this out, then the pair of mares can be together, and pull in an easily lovable male while they're at it, forming a happy family.
>All they need is a cunning plan to make him say yes...

>>29981474
That sounds kinda cute actually. Is Gleaming the sensible one while Candy ass over thinks things?

>>29981494
>Gleaming is sure that just asking him well get a positive answer.
>Cadence waves that away, saying that HAS to be romantic, because no matter how mare-like a guy is, they love that sort of thing.
>Cadence starts her plans before Gleaming can get a word in edgewise.
>The guard captain just rolls her eyes and follows along with her marefriend's antics each time.

>>29981563
When they drink what kind of shenanigans would they get up to, or would Gleaming take the lead for a pub crawl? Ending with pizza is obligatory of course.

>>29981563
A crazy and down to earth dynamic would be fun

>>29981422
I suppose there is room for non-RGRE Herd stories (or at least, stories that would get cries of "not RGRE enough!" were they to be posted here.)

>>29981470
>>29981422
How I see it, the thread is Reversed Gender Roles, what our shorthand is derived from. That means the stories here have the main theme of "Girls are guys, guys are girls, and Anon is not them." We also define our view of RGRE as 'this happened because there are far more mares than stallions.'
A herding thread (or general) could possibly run with the main idea of many mares and few stallions as its context, but that wouldn't make it RGRE unless they also had their subfocus being our main focus.
tl;dr:
RGRE is Reversed Gender Roles with an acceptable subtopic being herding.
Herding would be Herding (with subtopics)
Herding could fit here, but then they'd have to abide to our focus, lest they be REEEE'd at for being not RGRE enough, as >>29981722 says.

>>29981761
I want to see a story where Anon actually tries to play nice with the new gender roles but keeps fucking up and embarressing his appointed friend-visor.

>>29981563
"Cadence no."
>"Cadence yes!"
>You stare at your long time lover and friend before sighing.
"Okay, explain to me one more time how a giant neon sign with the words 'Anon pls b mine' with a wonderbolt fly over and fire works that shower hearts over everything will work out."
>"Why it's quite simple dear, essentially the whole event goes to show Anon we're a finacially able and stable herd that is able to afford such wild expenses. So not only will we be able to provide for him and our foals, but we will have plently of money in case of any random bouts of Whimsy that might occur."
"Honey, love bunches of oats, I really /really/ think this is going over the top."
>"Oh relax Gleaming, beside's what could possibly go wrong?"

>>29981974
>>"Oh relax Gleaming, beside's what could possibly go wrong?"

>There was a masculine chuckle from behind them
"Oh, I don't know, perhaps the target of your affections heard you say 'what could possibly go wrong?'"

>>29981974
>The b on the sign fizzes out so it reads "Anon pls mine"
>Anon takes this as a sign to become a miner
>Once there he finds himself the object of affection of a clan of diamond dogs
>Now Gleaming and Candy ass have to compete with the alpha dog for Anon
>Anon as always is oblivious, he does see the whole thing as an excuse to play with puppies though

>>29981474
>>29981563
ew lesbos

>>29982124
Sounds like they're more Bi than full on Dykes.

Which is kind of a recurring undercurrent in a lot of RGRE herding stories, even if it isn't focused on very much unless it would be funny/cute (like Twi and Sunny in LaP's story where they snag and shag Anon when they get snowed in, and tease each other about being dykes)

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OH LOOK! One more thread where this fag LAP drops his dirty shit story with boilerplate characters, not even bothering to erase the metacharacters, while his pawns deepthroat him with shitty (You)s
Listen here, you /fit/nigger, you should really, really ask Nebulus how to write these characters, because all yours feel flat and fake.
I always just scroll through your shitposts, but now I got disabling-noscript-mad since I decided to give your green a try again.
Yes, I am mad

>>29968906
Also, you should really stick to writing shitty human romance novels, bet normies and women would eat your shit up. Your characters do not feel alive, they are like shitty androids whom you shove some shitty text in their mouths. You need this fucking reality check since everyone just circlejerks with you here. The last time I read your shit was like a year ago, and you have not improved during that time at all. Yeah, and the fucking reddit-special snowflake spacing? Cut it out, you fucking fag. Top of my head, I could easily name at least 5 writefags whom are way, way better than you. You suck, really. Go hermit-mode for a while and fix your shit

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>>29982393
ok

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>>29982536
>hating on one of the last writefags RGRE has just because YOU dont like his stories

>>29982571
You would rather keep him in the dark, and suck on his dick more, amirite? Grow up, you fucking kid
>one of the last writefags RGRE
no excuse for being shit
literally fucking nothing of a progress in a year, like an old piece of furniture not thrown out because, duh, it was here for a while now

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>>29982393
>One more thread
I'm pretty sure LaP writes just for this thread.

>because all yours feel flat and fake
Geee.
I thought I was the only one who feel that

>>29982536
Agree.

But sorry m8 you're kicking a dead pony. /rgre/ is beyond saving, you can't even criticize the writefags because they get butthurt, leave and their army of whiteknights goes full reeeeee.

>>29982627
are

are you samefagging

>>29982660
Part of me is wondering if the guy you replied to is the shit-stirrer who has been intentionally sabotaging the RGRE threads. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if he was samefagging, as it's not hard to just avoid a writer you don't like.

>>29982613
only an under aged faggot would tell someone here to grow up.

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>>29982103
Anon, we require more minerals.

>>29982019
>"Could we pretend that you didn't hear any of that and make it a surprise for when we do?"
>Oh Cadence.
>You really love this mare to bits, but Celestia above she can be thick at times.
>"Well I suppose I could act the part if you really wanted."
"Anon, no. Do not feed into Cadence's silliness she's going to go over the top and draw a lot of attention and I-"
>You stop yourself catching the quickly growing grin across Anon's face.
"I-I know that you don't like all the attention so you sho- Put me down!"
>"Aw but Gleaming you're so cute and adorable when your all embarrassed."
"I am /not/ cute! I am a guards mare, I am intimidating and a law bringer of justice!"
>"Oh I know she is Anon, have I shown you the pictures from our first date together?" Cadence says pulling out an album book from the ether.
"I TOLD YOU TO BURN THOSE!"
>"No I can't say that you have actually." Anon clamps a hand on your horn making your spell to rip the offending photos to pieces simply fizzle out with a weak spurt of magic.
"N-no.."
>"Oh it was a wonderful night of carnival fun, but poor Gleaming, she got her mane caught in the cotton candy maker before we realized it her whole mane was blue, purple AND pink!"
>This is your life now.
>Death by embarrassment by your marefriend and potential coltfriend.
>Mom never mentioned this part of the arduous trials that awaited you when it came time for a colt in your life...

>>29982813
yesss

>>29982813
>Candyass is actually Hyper competent about her love tactics
>so much so she sounds crazy
>her confounded multilayered plans put discords to shame
>they all lead to happy couples/herds

>>29981474
>https://pastebin.com/1hAjUL8q
>>29981563
>>29981974
>>29982019
>>29982813
I'm liking this. Please pastebin and I hope you write some more.

Ignore the LaP hater folks. Anon just jealous they don't get (you)s.

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>>29972480
>>29982393
>>29982536
Is this a meme now

>>29983144
Probably a samefag, ignore and it will go away.

>>29982103
Construct additional pylons!

>>29982709
Five bucks say he's the guy that made the herding thread.

How do you know you're too far gone to be saved?

When you keep capitalizing Twilight in non-pony writing.

>>29983151
>>29983165
I was shaking my head when everyone started putting on their tinfoil hats, still kinda am, but I guess there might actually be some purposeful shit stirring happening. The stuff in >>29983144 is way too over the top. Whatever, I doubt LaP would take anything as obvious as that to heart anyways.

>>29983228
>capitalizing Twilight in non-pony writing
yikes
yeah you're fucked

>>29983230
Told ya, it was a meme that herding is shit, now all of a sudden there is a thread for it outside RGRE? That is to much of a coincidence.

>>29973851
Or, buy two kid's meals "and a cup of coffee for me".

TA DA!
Now it looks like a guy buying food for two kids and getting himself a coffee while he's at it.

>>29982154
Multiple females sharing a male would be an absolute requirement to sustain their population, so bisexuality would be the norm for females of any species where the gender ratio was 1 male per 3-4 births.

Likewise, bisexuality would be moderately uncommon for the males, and homosexuality would be virtually unheard of (not to mention, EXTREMELY detrimental to the species' survival chances, and thus socially unacceptable).

From an evolutionary standpoint, RGRE has got the right view on things.

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>>29982813
>Anon clamps a hand on your horn making your spell to rip the offending photos to pieces simply fizzle out with a weak spurt of magic

It seems like you're having some trouble here, possibly because of a language difference? If that's the case you may want to do more reading in English or visit sites that offer help with grammar like https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/section/1/5/

If you are native and/or this was just a big mistake, the above might still apply. You seem to have a firm grasp on several things that trip up most newer writers though,so more practice might be all you need. Hope to see you writing more for us in the future.

>>29981474
>A heard where the mares love each other as much as they do the stallion.
I'll take 20

> A herd where the mares love each other more than the stallion
I wonder what that would be like. Would he be something like a good friend/masseur/butler/cooler for when they go into heat?
Or maybe a well-to-do herd of mares hires a butler, and slowly becomes more and more affectionate with him.

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>"I'm sorry, Anon, but I don't have the time for a stallion in my life."
>"Yes, I'm very busy. Projects, reading, that sort of thing."
>"No, it's nothing about you. At least, not you personally. I'm just a Mare Going Their Own Way."
>"I don't want to offend you or anything, but I'd rather not be a stallion's stepping-stone to a better life. I'll stick with my books."

>>29977014
How can a mare be this Smug?

>>29984666
Millennia of practice
Just like you, Satan

>>29981474
>"Hey Anon, me and Cadence need a guy so we can be in a relationship for real; you wanna fuck us raw? You can come inside, too, Cadence has a real fetish for that kind of stuff…"

>>29984160
>Some Chad mares watch the scene unfold from nearby
>Loudly cough 'faggot!'
>'Oh, s-sorry, Moondancer. Must be our allergies acting up.'
>'Yeah. Our allergies to mares afraid of dick!'
>'C'mon gals, let's go see if we can keep that hunk of human company since SOMEPONIES would rather do sudoku and read Mayn Rand.'

>>29968919
Where's the thumbs up button?

>>29985288
greens of this plox

>>29973851
I cry errytime

>>29984160
So, tell me more about this "Mares Going Their Own Way" thing.

>>29984160
>He looks at you with a forlorn look in his eyes.
>"Are you sure?'
"What do you mean "are you sure?" YEAH I'm sure."
>"Can you really handle it? The pain of being alone for the rest of your life, never being able to gain comfort in anyone else? the pain of slowly realizing how alone you are, with nothing you can do?"
>You gawk at him
"W-What do you know!?!? how could you ever know the pain of-"
>having everything ripped away from you? Of spilling your heart out to someone else, only for them to stomp all over you
>He kneels down on the ground, revealing massive bags drooping from under his eyes.
>He looked like he had seen all the atrocities to the world with those eyes, and to see one more would cause them to break.
>"I may be from across time and space, but loneliness is a universal constant."
>You can fell yourself shaking, like the ground itself was breaking around you.
>It was true.
>every single word he spoke had resonated deep inside you.
>"My offer is still open. And I promise, with all of my being, that I will stick with you till the end of time.
>"so, i ask you, will you be my marefriend?
>you wipe away bitter tears
"yes. yes i will."

why the fuck did i write this.

>>29986054
you know why

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>>29986054
this general is a feel coaster.

>>29986054
Cause u forgot to take ur autism meds obviously.

>>29986584
>forgetting the autism meds
How did you think this board was created?

>>29986054
Because if multiverse theory is correct, then even if non of us receive happiness in our reality, we will still try to bring it to others...even if its just a little bit.
>>29986584
>>29986597
>Not 4chan period
You two need to see the nurse, she has extra medication for you.

>>29986046
>”Because mares are tired of being nothing but punching bags for self-centered stallions.”
>Today you decided to venture outside.
>You chose poorly.
>All you wanted to do was go food shopping and ended up in the middle of some rally.
>”Girls why don’t we just calmly talk about this?”
>And there was Twilight, trying her very best to peacefully resolve the situation.
>But judging by the looks on the other mares faces, it was not working.
>”I have to pay my ex-husband alimony all because he couldn’t keep his cock in his sheath, how’s that for calm!”
>You tried getting away from the gaggle, but being a tall man in a world of knee high horses let you see things.
>Like the fact that you were literally surrounded with no room for escape.
>”And he’s about the worst homewrecker here.”
>What?
>You knew that voice.
>Bon Bon, queen bitch extrodinaire.
>She stood there all high and mighty pointing her hoof at you.
>”All I come home to everyday is Lyra obsessing over his freakishness.”
>A chorus of “boos” tailed her statement and they were all directed at you.
>Fucking Bon Bon
>Just you wait for horse Christmas you candy making cunt, Santa is stopping by your house and shitting down your chimney.
>With no chance to even defend yourself from the angry stares and accusations, a chant started to form from within the crowd.
>”Mares go their own way!”
>”Mares go their own way!”
>You were never going outside again.

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>>29986054
Nobody likes to see a sad poner.
It is how I got started.

>>29986720
>Fucking Bon Bon
>Just you wait for horse Christmas you candy making cunt, Santa is stopping by your house and shitting down your chimney.
kek

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>>29986720
Just go pick the angry little marshmallow up and bring her home to fuck her raw along with Lyra.

>>29987386
"Bon Bon, Lyra, what did I tell you two about breaking into my house and stealing my shirts?"

>>29969506
What the fuck is that thing...
>inb4 would cum inside

>>29986720
> Lyra's infidelity is due to the man
> Lyra and Bonbon are Hooflims
> Poor mares are not responsible for falling for the wiles of uncovered stallions
> The Hooflim community calls for Anon to be stoned.

>>29986720
Noice man, interesting concept

>>29986720
> Anon is living with Twi
> A tired Mare sick of stallions tells her how selfish they are
> Twi gets considered she's being used
> Shenanigans

>>29986720
>First came the rally.
>The mares chanting that they were sick of stallions always taking advantage of them.
>To top it off, once you actually got to the market, you found out they sold out of nearly all the stuff you needed.
>You were pissed then.
>Now you’re just mad.
>And god help happy horseland when an borderline autistic human with no means to make himself some din din is mad.
>It was time to do something about it.
>Hitting the top of the sign with a mallet, you made sure it would stay in place by driving it further into the ground.
>Fucking ponies and their deranged concepts.
>And fuck Bob Bon especially.
>”Hi there neighbor- what’s with the sign?”
“Just read it Lyra, it’s self explanatory.”
>”’Private property, No mares allowed under any circumstances.’ I don’t get it.”
“Nothing to get Lyra, my week has been shit and this is my perfectly reasonable response.”
>”You’re being silly. How about you come over to my place and I fix you something to eat?”
>”He most certainly will not. I’m not having him stink up our home.”
>Speak of the she devil and she’ll appear.
>Bon Bon, as if sensing that her very presence would serve as a means to piss you off further trotted up by her “roommate”
>”I thought we talked about this Lyra. You need to knock off this weird fascination with him.”
“Listen to the witch Lyra, I may hate her more than an alcoholic hates water, but she has a point.”
>”Shut up monkey, I don’t need your input on this.”
>So much hate.
>Bon Bon oblivious to the sign by which she trotted past, came right up to you.

>>29988732
>”If you have any sense at all you would realize that I was having a conversation with her.”
>She poked your shin with her hoof to emphasize her point.
“Candy ass, you have all of three seconds to get out of my yard.”
>”Or what?”

>”Bucking monkey always sticking his- ouch! Careful Lyra.”
“Sorry.”
>You were applying to the cooling slave to Bonnie’s flanks, right in the spot where he…
>Damn you Bon Bon.
>Had you known that the end result of going on Anon’s property was him using his hands like that, you would have done it sooner.
>”I told you he was trouble, now will you listen to me and stay away from him?”

Any good green where Anon is a stay at home husband/boyfriend/whatever and his mate gets on him about letting himself go a bit?

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>>29988743
Excellent

>>29988743
anymore?