RGRE: Reverse Gender Roles Equestria

>>30001782
Where's the google doc link, dipshit.

>>30001782
And here's the google doc link as posted in >>29969497

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1b1jASUKcbpyp6u1nk0d8m8m_toNwUGSlesl7F1IPa4o/

>>30001782
The Google link was fucked up in the previous thread and lead to nowhere, the correct one is
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1b1jASUKcbpyp6u1nk0d8m8m_toNwUGSlesl7F1IPa4o/

Tonight.
You.

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Listen sis, just remember this:

Colts are just like any other living thing.

Since they want to give their seed to a stronger mare, their ratio of fertilization rises when they are raped.

In other words, when Anon being resistant, it`s just a sign that he want to knock you up even more!

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Hey, I got more Fleur

>>30001908
HUZZAH! LET THE GREEN FLOW!

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Even penguins are not immune to waifus
http://goboiano.com/japan-puts-anime-in-zoo-and-penguin-adopts-a-waifu/

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>Ponies have no idea what Anon means when he talks about their magical aura.
>"My horn glows when I use magic? But I'm not even casting a light spell. Wait, you can SEE my magic when Im using it?"
>Twilight sends a letter to Celestia.
>Two minutes later a mass of tentacles and pony ponuts appears in town, abducting Anonymous!
>It's actually Celestia, here to welcome a new "brother" into the family.
>An eldritch alicorn and Anon prompt.

>>30001918
>>30001925
>Sam

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OGp9P6QvMjY

>>30001942
Shoot, sorry LaP.

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>>30001782
>tfw no Equestrian Invasion edition

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>>30001947
kek oh shit.

Did you delete your posts to remove the characters name, LaP? We know it's going on your fimfic account, it's not that big a deal.

>>30001908
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFfffffuck you. I knew I forgot something...

>Anon’s apartment had seen better days. The walls were water damaged and its paint was peeling. Its carpeted floors were worn and bare in some places. There was a tiny bathroom right next to the front door that had a shower two sizes too small for the stallion, and as far as Fleur could tell the only other room was a small living room with a couch that was far too big to have been able to fit through that front door without the assistance of magic.
>Still though, through the wear and tear Fleur could see that her photographer had done his best to make this place into a home. A small wooden table sat in front of the couch, piled high with empty cups and knick-knacks. A makeshift clothes rack sat next to one of the walls. Posters and an overly large foam finger lined the walls and a brand new set of curtains sat above the apartment’s one dimmed window. Right next to that window was a tiny stove and the smallest refrigerator that the supermodel had ever seen.
>“Sorry about the mess. If I had known that anyone was coming I would have cleaned up a little bit,” Anon said.
“Oh, there’s no need to worry about that, [i]mon cher[/i],” Fleur said, looking around. “Your home looks… comfortable.”
>“It’s not the best place I’ve ever lived, but it’s not that bad,” Anon said, gesturing for her to sit down on the couch as he made his way over to his fridge. “The neighbors are real nice, and the view’s pretty in the mornings if you open up the window.”
“It’s a little chilly in here, no?” Fleur muttered, hopping up onto the couch.
>“Yeah, a bit. When I asked the landlady about it she said that the ventilation in this place is a bit funny. If you’re cold though you’re more than welcome to use a blanket or two.”
“[i]Merci[/i].”

>>30002017

>Reaching behind her, Fleur grabbed the black and gold blanket that was sitting neatly folded on top of the couch. Unfolding it, she wrapped it around herself.
>She immediately wiggled into the blanket, her nostrils flaring. Anon’s scent clung to the blanket, as it did with the rest of the room. It was so potent, in fact, that she was surprised that she hadn’t smelled it outside.
>“So, what brings you all the way to my little neck of the woods?” Anon asked as he opened up his fridge and reached inside. “Did something bad happen?”
>Fleur let out a hum, wiggling around. With every passing moment, she could smell her scent mixing with his. If she continued to do with for a little longer, Anon would be smelling her every time he closed his eyes to sleep.
>“Fleur. Hey Fleur. You alright there?” Anon called, breaking the supermodel out of her stupor.
“What? What did you say, Anon?” she asked, blushing.
>“I asked why you came all the way down here to see me,” Anon said, looking over his shoulder at her. “Not that I don’t mind. It’s great to see you. Hey… are you alright there? You’re looking a bit red.”
“Red? I’m not red!” Fleur said with a laugh that sounded forced even to her ears. “I’m just a little tired from the walk is all. Nothing to worry about.”
>“You sure?”
“Yes. I’m absolutely sure, [i]cher[/i].”
>Though Anon obviously didn’t believe her, he turned back toward the fridge. “So, about you being here…”
Discreetly wiggling her hoof out of her blanket, Fleur used it to fan her face. “Well, since the last few days have been no doubt as chaotic for you as they’ve been for me, I decided to come and see if you were alright. As well as… apologize, since all of this is my fault.”
>Grabbing something from his fridge, Anon stood up and kicked it closed. He turned around, showing Fleur that he was holding two metal cans in his hands.

>>30002025

>“Sorry that I don’t have wine or anything like that,” he said. “The ol’ fridge isn’t big enough for anything other than beer.”
“That’s fine, thank you,” Fleur said, using her magic to levitate the can out of his hands.
>She had absolutely no idea what beer was, but she wasn’t going to pass up a drink. Especially if it had some kind of alcohol in it.
>“Make sure to use a coaster,” Anon urged. “I don’t want that table gettin’ any watermarks on it.”
“Of course,” Fleur replied, giving the can a once over before taking a ladylike sip.
>It was unlike any brew that she had ever tasted. It was almost as if someone had watered hard cider down and filtered it so many times that you could only taste fizzy water. It wasn’t exactly [i]bad[/i], but it was different.
>Anon took a great gulp from his can, grimacing as he did so. “The only thing that it has going for it is that it’s not warm,” he said, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “After five or six of ‘em they’ll get better. Promise.”
>Marching over to his couch, Anon sat down right next to Fleur with a grunt. A bolt of nervousness and want raced up the model’s spine. She tried to wiggle away from the human toward the edge of the couch, only to wiggle back toward him until their sides were touching.
>Anon looked over at her, causing her to freeze in place. “So… I’ve been hearing a lot of stuff the last couple of days.”
“I’m guessing you would,” Fleur replied, wishing that she had taken more than a small sip of her drink.
>“I almost haven’t been able to go outside because ponies keep running up to me screaming about a whole bunch of nonsense that I don’t have any idea about,” her photographer continued, leaning toward her. “I tried asking what the heck had everybody so riled up about, but no two people’s stories are the same.”

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>>30002031

Fleur twitched, her ears folding against her skull. “I apologize for that,” she said, bowing her head. “I shouldn’t have left you like I did. It was [i]lâche[/i].”
>“Don’t get me wrong, I’m not mad about it, just a bit confused,” Anon said, taking another sip of his drink. “I mean, when I woke up that day you were gone, and I really didn’t think it was that big of a deal until I started getting pestered.”
>A frown came to the human’s. “It wasn’t like you took my pants off while I was sleeping, right?”
“Of course not!” Fleur said, reddening further. “I’d [i]never[/i] do anything like that in the studio!”
>Anon raised an eyebrow. “Oh? So you’d do it other places then?” he asked with a smile. “I better keep an eye on you then, since we’re alone and all.”
Squawking in outrage, Fleur nudged him in the ribs. “You know what I mean, you [i]cul[/i]!”
>“I know, I know, I’m just teasing,” Anon replied with a chuckle. “But what really did happen then. If you don’t mind me askin’?”
>A shiver that had nothing to do with the cold ran up the length of Fleur’s spine. She nuzzled back into her blanket, feeling the anxiety in her belly turning into butterflies.
>For a brief moment, she wanted to lie to him, to make up some outlandish story. But, looking into her photographer’s eyes, Fleur found that she couldn’t. Anon deserved to hear the truth, and she was going to tell it to him.
“When the two of us were asleep on that couch I somehow found myself lying on top of you,” she confessed after a brief pause. “And I might have started… nuzzling your face.”
>Fleur braced herself for outrage and yelling, looking at her photographer out of the corner of her eye. To her surprise however, she didn’t get either. Instead, a great big smile broke out across Anon’s face.
“Really? Aw, that’s really cute,” he said, almost to himself.

>>30002041

>The genuine warmth in his voice caught Fleur off guard. Her butterflies made their way up to the base of her throat, and along with them came the overwhelming urge to hop into her photographer’s lap and do her best to make that smile grow. She resisted the urge though, if only just barely.
“You’re not... upset?” she asked.
>“Upset? Why would I be upset about that?” Anon asked. “In fact, why the heck would anyone around here be upset about that? I may not know all that much about pony culture but I know for a fact that you all love your nuzzling and touching.”
Squirming deeper into her blanket, Fleur bit her lip. “I maybe have also given you a kiss or two…”
>There was a pause. Not a terribly long one, but it was long enough to be noticeable.
>“Kiss?” Anon asked, brow furrowing.
“[i]Oui[/i],” Fleur replied with a nod. “I gave you a few pecks and while I was doing so a makeup mare came in and…” She trailed off, letting her confession hang in the air.
>Anon took another sip from his can. “So you were smooching me while I was asleep?”
“I was,” Fleur said, forcing herself to look at him. “And I’m sorry. What I did was [i]extremely[/i] unprofessional. And if...”
>She sighed, looking down at the table. A thousand thoughts buzzed around her skull like angry insects, not of them very reassuring. Taking a deep breath, she looked back up at him with her head held high.
“If you wish to complain to Essence or leave me to shoot with somepony else, don’t hesitate to do so. I won’t hold it against you. What I did was inappropriate, and I should be punished for it.”
>Feeling her courage failing her, Fleur looked down at the floor.
“And… If you’d like anything from me don’t hesitate to ask. I’ll do everything in my power to get it for you.”

>>30002046

>For almost a solid minute, Anon was silent, his blue eyes looking her up and down. This felt like an eternity to the supermodel, who had to use every bit of her self-control to keep from leaping off of the couch and racing toward the door. Finally, still eyeing her, Anon took another sip of his drink.
>“If I ask you for something, you’ll do everything in your power to make sure that I get it huh?” he asked.
Fleur flinched. “[i]Oui[/i]. Anything that you want.”
>Nodding, Anon leaned forward, resting his arms on his knees and looking at the can of beer in his hands. “Well, I brought a bunch of this shitty beer from my world, and no matter how much I want to chuck the stuff out the window I was always taught not to waste perfectly good alcohol.”
>He lifted the can above his head as if inspecting it. “And unfortunately for me, I must have brought a hundred cans with me, so drinking all of it is gonna take a while.
>Pressing the lip of the can to his lips, Anon tilted it all the way back and began chugging. Fleur watched as his throat contract again and again while some of the beer escaped the edges of his mouth and dripped down his chin. The sight made her lick her very dry lips.
>Finishing his beer, Anon crushed the can and tossed it in the direction of a small garbage can that was sitting near the window. The crushed can missed, hitting the wall with a dull thud before dropping to the ground.
>“Damn, off by a mile…” he said, before looking over at her with a small grin. “It’ll tell you what, Fleur. Photo gave me the next couple days off to let this whole thing blow over. If you sit here with me and finish all of the beer in the fridge I’ll call us even.”
Fleur’s gaze snapped up to him. “Really?” she asked.
>“[i]Wee wee,[/i]” Anon replied, reaching over and grabbing her beer. “We can sit here for the next couple of days, order a couple of pizzas, and sit back and relax for a little bit.”

>>30002057

“That’s it? That’s all you want?”
>“Well… If you want to fill my fridge up with some better drinks I won’t stop you, but other than that not really.”
>Anon offered Fleur her drink. Freeing both hooves from the blanket, she grabbed it, too stunned to do anything other than stare at the can.
>She must have looked particularly silly, because Anon let out a chuckle. “Now, how about we go ahead and pick a movie to watch? I know that we didn’t get to finish Wall-E last time, but if you want we could…”

@-@-@-@-@-@-@

“[i]Je suis Anon.[/i]”
>“Jesus… Anon…”
“No, no, no. [i]Je suis Anon[/i].”
>“Je… ses?”
“Suis.”
>“Suis. [i]Je suis Anon?[/i]”
A smile came to Fleur’s face. “Yes, very… very good! Very good!”
>Anon answered her smile with a smile of her own. “[i]Merci[/i].”
>Fleur had no idea how many hours had passed since she had finished her first can of beer. She also hadn’t the foggiest idea how much of the drink had passed her lips. All that she knew was the sun had gone down long ago and the garbage can near the wall was half-full of crushed cans. She had also gone from sitting beside Anon to sitting in his lap. Not that she had any qualms with this.
“[i]Fantastique[/i]. I’ll have you [i]parlant[/i]... speak—[i]speaking[/i] fluent Prench in no time, [i]mon cher[/i]!” the supermodel said with a giggle.
>She nuzzled her cheek into the nape of Anon’s neck. Anon let out a sigh, the hand that he had wrapped around her middle giving her side a scratch. Fleur squirmed at the foreign, yet pleasant, feeling of his fingers dancing across her coat.
>“I think I’ll need a couple more dranks… [i]drinks[/i] before I can be a French master,” Anon said, the hint of a slur in his voice.

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>>30002063

“Then we’ll get you all the beer you need, [i]mon ami[/i]!” Fleur said, nearly knocking Anon over as her nuzzles became before more forceful and needy. “Give me… Give me but a moment and I shall get you more!”
>Sticking out her tongue in concentration, Fleur let magic flow through the tip of her horn. As carefully as she could, she tried to open Anon’s fridge with a spell. Three times she missed, twice grabbing the window frame and once nearly tearing out a section of the wall, but on the fourth time she managed to grab it.
“Aha! Got you!” she said, grabbing one of Anon’s hands and pushing it toward her stomach.
>“Yeah, you… get—[i]got[/i] it, Fleur,” the human said with a drunken giggle, giving her belly a scratch.
>Fleur’s eyes crossed at the sensation, very nearly causing her magic to dissipate. Her back legs crossed and her grip on his hand tightened as a rush of heat to her extremities made her squirm. Somehow, despite the pleasure, she was able to open the fridge with only a bit of trouble.
“Sweet Celestia above. Your fingers… Your fingers feel wonderful, Anon,” she murmured.
>Anon smiled. “Yeah? Well, your coat feels really... really nice. It’s really pretty and soft an’… pretty.”
“You already said pretty, you silly filly.”
>“Then it’s double pretty! You’re dribbble—[i]double[/i] pretty! And I’m not a silly filly, [i]mon chair[/i]! I’m a man! A… A manly man!”
Fleur couldn’t help but laugh. “[i]Oui[/i], you’re a manly… manly man,” she said, using her magic to reach into the fridge. “And a manly man needs a drink, no?”
>Anon nodded, an act which would have caused him to fall off the couch if Fleur wasn’t practically pinning him to the couch. “Yeah, I could go for another beer! In fact, bring… bring ‘em all out so we can make a big ol’ pyramid!”

>>30002076

>Fleur searched the inside of the fridge, but to her surprise her magic didn’t come into contact with any of the cans. Frowning, she leaned forward, her brow scrunched in concentration. This time, she carefully searched the fridge, touching every inch of it, but again she didn’t touch anything that resembled a can.
“Anon… I don’t think there’s any beer left,” she said.
>Anon blinked. “What? Of course there... there is! I had like a… a billion cans in that fridge! We couldn’t have drank ‘em all!”
“You’re right, there should be [i]plus[/i],” she said.
>Letting more magic flow into her horn, Fleur picked up the whole fridge. With a flick of her head, she pulled the power cord out of the wall and floated it over to the two of them. She accidently let it drop to the floor once, as well as use a little too much magic that had it flying to the ceiling, but eventually she managed to levitate it over.
“There! Now we can drink… all of the beer in… in the world!” she said, pushing aside Anon’s long powered down computer and the half-finished cans of beer so she could put the little fridge on the table.
>“You’re a gen…. genius, Fleur!” Anon said, leaning forward and throwing open the fridge.
>Both the human and unicorn, as drunk as they were, expected the inside of the fridge to be stuffed with beer cans. To their surprise however, they found that it was completely empty. It took a few moments for this to process for the both of them, but when it did they frowned.
>“Hey… Where did all the beer go?” Anon demanded.
“[i]Je ne[/i]… I don’t know,” Fleur said, once again searching the inside of the fridge with her magic. “We had so much left…”
>“Yeah we did! Like a zillion! We couldn’t have drunk—[i]drank[/i] them all!”
>The two stared into the empty fridge for a few moments longer. Their minds chugged along, trying to think of the best possible reaction to this travesty.

>>30002082

“Do… Do you want me to [i]jeter[/i] it out the... the window, [i]mon amour[/i]?” Fleur asked, lifting the fridge from the table.
>Anon’s frown deepened. “Just… Just put it back,” he said with a wave of his free hand. “We’ll get more later.”
>Fleur nodded. Closing her eyes, she levitated the fridge a few feet away before letting it drop to the floor. A bang echoed throughout the room, but neither the human nor the unicorn seemed to even notice, the two of them staring at the window in front of them.
“Anon?”
>“Yeah?”
“I think… I think we drank all of your beer.”
>Anon was silent for a few moments before he slowly nodded. “Yeah… I think you’re right.”
>The realization that all of the beer was gone hit Fleur much harder than she expected. Now that they were out of the fantastical alien brew, she couldn’t teach Anon to speak Prench, and if he couldn’t do that then he wouldn’t be able to understand anything that she said. He wouldn’t even be able to tell her hello in the mornings.
A very unmarely sniffle escaped the supermodel. “[i]Je suis désolé[/i]… I’m sorry we drunk... [i]drank[/i] all of your beer, Anon.”
>Before she could break down, tears welling up in her eyes, she felt Anon’s hand untangle itself from her hooves, reaching up and touching her cheek.
>“Hey, hey, hey, [i]hey[/i]. There’s no need to be sat—[i]sad[/i],” Anon said. “We were supposed… supposed to drink all of that anyway. So don’t cry. There’s no need to be sad. Don’t be sat—[i]sad[/i] please.”
“But what are… what are we going to do now?” Fleur asked, rubbing her muzzle against his Adam’s apple.
>Anon stared off into space for a second or two, before a proverbial lightbulb lit up above his head. “Hey, did I never tell you how I… how I became a photographer?”
>Sniffling again, Fleur shook her head.

>>30002086

>A drunken smile worked its way onto the human’s face. “I’ll tell that do—[i]to[/i] you then! It’s a really, really okay story. You’ll really get a… a chuckle out of it.”
>Letting his fingers wander up to the top of Fleur’s head to play with her scalp, Anon loudly cleared his throat. “A couple years ago it was pretty… pretty bad around my neighborhood. No matter what you did you couldn’t find a job in anything. Fast food, male strippin', construction, nothin’. Especially if you weren’t going to… to school for medicine or somethin’ like that. See, I saw how… how miserable most people were working at the hospitals and I wasn’t smart enough for college, so after high school I went out and tried to get myself some work.”
A frown came to Fleur’s face, her nostrils flaring. “[i]Connerie[/i]. You’re smart. Very smart. And… And you smell good too.”
>Anon chuckled. “A lot of other peepers—[i]people[/i] didn’t think so, ‘cause no matter where I went no one would hire me.” He threw up a hand, almost accidentally slapping Fleur in the face. “And I went [i]everywhere[/i]. I must have gone out fifty miles lookin’ for stuff. But nothing!”
>He looked down at her, his smile widening. “For almost a year I just… just sat around my folk’s house an’ did nothin’. But then I heard that they were lookin’ for a photographer at some… some tiny news place. The help wanted thing said that the place wanted someone with a fancy, smancy degree, but I saw what they were payin’ and I was… was desperate enough to try an’ apply.”
Fleur picked her head off her Anon’s shoulder to look at him. “Did they say yes?”
>“They did.”
The supermodel’s nose scrunched up. “But why? I thought you said that they wanted... wanted somepony with a degree and you didn’t go… go to school.”

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>>30002095

>“I didn’t,” Anon said, lightly flicking her ear. “But some buddies of mine were… really, really, [i]really[/i] good at making online websites. So, what I did was put on my application that I had a… a master’s degree in photography to some fake college and had them whip up a website for it.”
>The human giggled. “The news place made a couple phone calls, and my buddies made up a bunch of shit, and I somehow managed… do—[i]to[/i] land myself the job.”
“So… You got a photographer job without having any experience?” Fleur asked, disbelief working its way into her tone.
>“Yep! I didn’t even have a… a camera until the day before I had to go into for work,” Anon said, resting his head on the top of the couch and closing his eyes.
“They didn’t ask for a portfolio?”
>“Nope. All they wanted was a… a piece of paper that said I graduated.”
“And you had no [i]expérience[/i]… um, experience?”
>“Nope. I had to teach myself every… everythin’. Didn’t even know how to work photoshop.”
“Really?”
>“Yep. Really.”
>Silence crept into the room as the unicorn and the human looked at each other. The smallest of smiles found its way onto Fleur’s face. Anon let out another giggle, which caused Fleur to giggle as well. These giggles turned into chuckles, which turned into laughter. Soon, before they knew it, both Fleur and Anon had broken into full-fledged belly laughs, holding each other to keep themselves from call over.
>Somehow, in the midst of this laughter, Anon found himself lying on the couch with Fleur on top of him, her muzzled buried in his chest with tears streaming down her face. Their laughter continued for many minutes, before turning back into giggles, then into heavy breathing and smiles, until the two were just lying there in comfortable silence.
“That’s… that’s absolutely [i]incroyable[/i], Anon,” Fleur said, picking her head up to look at him.

>>30002107

>“It is pretty… pretty neat huh?” Anon asked with a chuckle as he stared up at the ceiling. “There I was, a jobless bum livin’ with his parents. But now look at me; I’m livin’ in a whole other world takin’ crappy pictures of the… the prettiest pony that I’ve ever seen.”
“Oh, you [i]flatteur[/i],” Fleur said, booping his nose with a hoof even as her blush worked its way down her neck.
>“Flatter nothin’,” Anon said, pointing a hand toward the ceiling. “You got all… all of the ponies back home beat by a mile, a lot of the girls too!”
>He let his hand flop down onto the small of Fleur’s back. Fleur let out a hum, wiggling herself on top of him.
While she liked to think that she was a humble mare, a bit of vanity couldn’t help but well up inside her at her photographer’s words. “Oh? So, [i]joli[/i]... pretty then?” she asked.
>“Of course! Pretty eyes, pretty mane and tail, a body that even this…this alien can appreciate! I don’t care what people would say back home; you’re… [i]beautiful[/i]!” Anon continued, giving her back a pat. “And I’ll fight any jagoff that says otherwise!”
“[i]Flatteur[/i],” Fleur said again, leaning up and giving him a kiss on the cheek. “And don’t let anypony tell you that your work is “crappy”. You’re a fin… fine photographer, degree or not.”
>“Yeah, but I don’t know how… how much longer my luck will… will hold out after I’m done here and I go back home,” Anon murmured, his smile diminishing. “My brother might have managed to get me some… some work over here, but they already got a replacement back at my old job, and nobody else is gonna get fooled by my fake website and fuckin’… degree.”
“Then you don’t… don’t need to go back,” Fleur said without hesitation. “You can stay here with us.”
>Anon picked his head up to look at her. “Stay here?”

>>30002115

“[i]Oui[/i],” Fleur replied, nodding. “They always… always need photographer’s in Canterlot, and since Photo is a… a producer I’m sure she’d be happy to keep you on for as long as you’d like.”
>The unicorn wiggled up her photographer’s body until their noses were touching. A small, primeval part of Fleur couldn’t help but enjoy the sight of a male underneath her, but she put aside the feeling to frown.
“And even if she doesn’t, I’d be more than [i]heureux[/i]... happy to bring you into my staff.”
>“Your staff?”
“[i]Oui[/i]! Of course! I wouldn’t want my favorite [i]photographe[/i]... photographer to be snatched up by some lucky mare would I?” Fleur picked her head up and looked around the room, her nose crinkling in disgust. “But before we can have that conversation, we’ll need to get you out of this… this [i]les déchets[/i].”
>“The who-what now?” Anon asked.
“There are plenty of empty… empty rooms in my mansion,” Fleur continued with a nod, ignoring her photographer’s question. “Any one of them will be far better for you than this apartment, and we’ll be able to [u]marche[/i]… to [i]walk[/i] together to the shoots. [i]AND[/i] I’ll be there whenever you need me if there’s something… something that you would like to show me or we’d need to reshoot something.”
>She looked back down at him, her face as red as an apple. Anon was looking up at her in confusion, his cheeks pinkish.
>“B-But what about your… your bosses? Aren’t they already pissy with you about keepin’ me as your photographer?”
“[i]Au Tartare avec eux[/i]!” Fleur shouted, pointing a hoof into the air. “They will have to accept my decision!”

>>30002120

>Fleur pointed her muzzle to the ceiling as if to drive her words home. This action proved to be less than wise, because the moment she did it the world began spinning and a wave of nausea tore through the supermodel. She groaned, closing her eyes and letting her head drop onto Anon’s chest.
“By morning everypony is going… going to think that we’re a couple anyway,” she mumbled to herself, rubbing her cheek against his chest. “It wouldn’t hurt anything if we were to go along with it…”
>Anon was silent for a few moments, staring up at the ceiling with a thoughtful expression. “Well… It’d be a heck of a lot better than... than going back home and working for McDonalds or something like that.”
>He lifted both hands up and brought them to Fleur’s head, running his fingers through her mane. Fleur let out a groan, wiggling on top of him. The noise brought a smile to Anon’s face.
>“I also couldn’t think of someone… someone better for work for than you, and even though I like the neighbors here it this place is kind of out of the way.”
“Then it’s decided then. When we wake up... up tomorrow I’ll make the preparations to have your things moved to my estate,” Fleur said with a nod.
>Eyes still closed, she picked up her head and leaned forward, lips puckered. Her first kiss was way off the mark, landing on Anon’s cheek. The second and third were on the nose and chin respectively. On the fourth attempt however, she found her intended target.
>She hummed as she felt her lips brush against his. Fleur held it for a few seconds before pulling away, only to lean back down and do it again. Anon tensed under her, which made her giggle, pulling away just enough so she could rub her nose against his before wiggling back down and dropping her head onto his shoulder.
>“…What was that for?” A now clearly embarrassed Anon asked.
“It was a goodnight kiss,” Fleur replied.

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>>30002129

>“Oh… Is that something ponies around here do?”
Fleur smiled, making herself comfortable on top of her photographer. “Nope.”

>>30002139
Alright, I'm done

>>30002041
>>A frown came to the human’s. “It wasn’t like you took my pants off while I was sleeping, right?”
*to the human's face

>>30002063
>she's teaching him French
My heart

>>30002107
>holding each other to keep themselves from call over.
*to keep themselves from falling over.

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>>30002139
OH SHIT BOI THEY MOVIN IN TOGETHER

ITS HAPPENING

>>30001942
fund it!

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>>30002139
Cutest chapter so far my man.

By the way, I've gotten banned for that pic in the past for some fucking reason so be careful.

>>30002450
It's the lewd ear licking.
Mods are quick to recognize lewdness.

repostan one of my old related prompts:

>Eldritch Anon
>More alien than anything else in Equestria
>Even the Tree of Harmony is left scratching it's metaphorical head about Anon

>He defies the laws of nature and magic simply by existing.
>They bend and break around him
>He is a singularity in the cosmos

>For such a strange being, he is remarkably ordinary looking
>Not the outward manifestation of chaotically mismatched parts that is Discord
>Not the smoky light sucking formless cloud of the Nightmare
>He exudes no aura of terror or power
>He simply is
>Only those who are already aware of such things can really tell that he is Other in a way almost nothing else is

>>30001942
Enter Eldritch Alicorns

>>30002623
Welcome to Eldritchquestria

>Just about all the major magical superpowers are eldritch in some way
>Discord, Tirek, Chrysalis, The Nightmare, All the Alicorns, Grogar, The Tree of Harmony, The Alicorn Amulet, Pinkie Pie

>There are things a mortal mind was not meant to know
>And things that even those who transcend the mortal plane fear to delve into
>Learning the Truth will change you
>As happened to the Princess of Friendship
>Knowledge is Power, but only the strongest (or strangest) wills can harness it without going mad

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>>30002706
>>Knowledge is Power, but only the strongest (or strangest) wills can harness it without going mad
Thank goodness I'm already mad.

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>>30002139
I love this story so much.
Please let it end in a happy romantic relationship with alot of snuggles and hoofholding and passionate lovemaking under the stars, with plans for marriage and kids

>>30002706
It's not knowledge that is power but madness.
Only the quickest and strongest wills can think in the strange ways of magic without going insane. The stranger a spell is the "darker" it is.
After all the most (reliably) powerful being in the show is the embodiment of chaos.
Everyday magic like levitation is so commonplace it no longer warps a normal ponys mind or perhaps the ubiquitousness of magic is why ponies act so impulsively and against logic.

>>30001847
WHAT DID HE MEAN BY THIS

>>30002717
>>30002706
>Discord is Starswirl
>Unfortunately for the brilliant wizard, his grasp on reality was already tenuous at best even before he started delving into the secrets of the cosmos
>In part this explained why he was so successful
>His inherent strangeness offered him a measure of protection against the knowledge he unlocked
>His powerful will let him harness more power and knowledge than any mortal before him
>But at the apex of his power, he delved too deeply too quickly and was not prepared for what he found
>Discord was born

>>30002031
>It was almost as if someone had watered hard cider down and filtered it so many times that you could only taste fizzy water.
So... American beer then.

>>30002146
done as in with this update right? qt epilogue maybe?

>>30003014
#SHOTSFIRED

>>30002823
I always liked this head cannon, it's been a personal one of mine for years

>>30003057
Nah. LaP says that after every drop. It scared me in the past too with older stories.

>>30003014
Nah, that's a Mexican beer if I ever heard one. That's some Tecate right there

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>>30001847
DON'T TEASE YOU FUCK

>Today turned out to be a pretty good day.
>Save for the thing with Bon Bon this morning but you’re good at repressing bad memories, so it may as well have never happened at all.
>The stall in the market that sold your handiwork, you had come to find out was sold out of the birdhouses you made yet again.
>It was a lucrative business after all.
>You made bird houses.
>Ponies buy said birdhouses.
>Birdhorses wreck birdhouses because they’re too big to go inside despite the obvious size difference.
>Ponies buy more birdhouses to replace the broken ones.
>And you make more money.
>Rinse and repeat.
>Looking around the market you thought about what random purchase would be the icing on the cake today.
>”I thought I smelled something awful around here.”
>Turning around you saw the bane of your existence, and she was back to her normal bitchy self.
“Are you off your meds or something?”
>Bon Bon looked confused for a moment, standing at the door of her shop.
>”What are you on about, did your brain finally lose the remainder of its ability to make coherent thoughts?”
“Says the pony who was trying to get me to eat her candy this morning.”
>”Monkey, if I ever tried to sell you anything it would be rat poison.”
>What is this mare playing at?
“Then the only other possible explanation is-“
>Wait for the dramatic reveal…
“You’re bipolar. A true psycho who’s a threat to herself and everyone around her. You should check yourself into the loony bin, I hear they specialize in bitch disorders.”

>>30003686
>”Go buck yourself you hairless ape.”
“I happen to have hair, you fat ass.”
>Bon Bons eyes narrowed and she growled threateningly.
>Weight must be a touchy subject for the candy aficionado.
>You had finally found her weakness, and what better time than now to exploit it.
“No reason to be all angry, I heard the bigger mares were always jolly.”
>An indignant roar erupted from the creamy mare as she launched herself at you like a missile.
>Alas your reflexes were not fast enough to dodge.
>And her aim was true, as she headbutted you right in the boys.
> “Worth it” were the final thoughts before the world went black.

>>30003696
owwch

>>30003696
This will end in hatesex or rape, right?

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>>30001782
I leave for life-sustaining sleep and this happens. Everyone flooded in and started posting anyway. The correct google doc was posted up like three times in the last thread, there was DISCUSSION about this throughout. At this point I'm at least 90% certain that the OP for the last few threads excluding NOF, arguably doesn't even frequent this general and/or did this just to troll you guys, but you came in anyways. This was too much autism for my autism to handle LAST THEAD GUYS PLEASE

>>30003696
>a mare assaulting a stallion
She is fucked

>>30003696
>>And her aim was true, as she headbutted you right in the boys.
time to remove her ovaries

>>30003816
at least they finally got the prompt link right

>>30003829
>>30003857
Here comes the public oophorectomy.

>>30002146
WHERE IS THE FUCKING PASTEBIN YOU HACK

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>>30003857
>>30003881
>hear knock on door
>open it to white knight mare
>she smiles beatifically at you and pulls a jar out of her little pack
>squinting, you notice two fleshy orbs floating in them
>"They belonged to your attacker, I'm so sorry that happened to you." she says, sticking the jar over to you

>>30003883
It's not getting binned, you fucking Neanderthal. It's obviously going on his fimfiction.

>>30003696
>She will have the same luck that Fem-Anon had in that other story.
>Ended up falling from stairs 23 times in a row.
>Then another 4 times inside the police station.
>Serve her right, clumsy whorse.
>It is a good thing that Anon is ok now.

>Anon buys a supposedly haunted house
>Silly poners, ghosts don't real
>At least, that's what he thinks, until he wakes up in the middle of the night to find a ghostpon fellating him ghostbusters style

>>30004219
>She looks at your with her big, hollow eyes.
>...
"Who told you to stop?".

>>30004219
>The ghost mare despite her best attempts at fellatio can’t physically interact with Anon.
>The very reason she became a ghost was because she was a neet mare that never got a stallion.
>Anon ends up having to console a depressed ghostie.
>That’s what he gets for buying a home off of Trixielist.

>>30004219
>She's the ghost of a wealthy, but kissless virgin who died all alone
>She's just happy to share her home with a warm body
>There was that one stallion who came in on a dare, but he peed himself and ran away when he saw a spider
>Hopefully she can share her afterlife with Anon's... Regular life

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>>30001926

>not including the edit that states he's put behind the net at closing time so that he doesn't fall into the pool

>>30002031
Actually, beer has a solid 20% more alcohol in it (on average), so if anything, the cider would be more "watered down".

>>30003014
American beers are actually some of the better in the world (generally ranked just below german beers, where the whole "we germans say american beer tastes like water" thing comes from).

You only get watery beer from America if it's the trailer-trash bottom of the industry mass produced shit like PBR, Bud Light, etc.

That stuff's literally the worst the country has to offer, but it only makes up about ~5-7% of the beer that the United States produces.

Generally, if you're talking watery beer from the continent of America, it's either Canadian (who're famous for having some of the nastiest beer known to man) or Mexican.

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>>30004264
This is 4chan.
Pool's closed.

>>30002057
>“It’ll tell you what,
forgot to drop the t* dude

LaPsbin, I'm reading your hole story and losing my shit. It's hilarious.

>>30004824
>LaPsbin
fucking lol

>>30004914
it was a shitty copy and paste sue me

>>30004944
I'm not sure you understand what is funny.

>>30004961
Maybe not. I never check out this thread, but I was recommended the story. So, I'm def in unexplored territory.

I assume 'LaPsbin' is actually short for 'Love and Powerlifting's pasteBin' and on pastebin it comically reads;
>LaPsbin's Pastebin
so when I copied it real quick it reads like the writefag is named LaPsbin, when he's actually just LaP.

Yes?

>>30002129
Anon from this story is a complete fucking loser, he don't deserve nice poner like Fleur, and why does she even like him is a mystery of writing and selfinserting.

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>>30005070
ok

>>30001782
Thirsty headless mares?

>>30001962
I would be perfectly ok with ponies invading desu senpai

>>30005093
whoa what the fuck? It changed my words
desu

senpai

>>30005112
T B H F A M

>>30004219
i need green of this.

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>>30004219
>>30004251
>>30004241
Anyone know of any ghost pone green? Doesn't have to be rgre.

>>30005082
It's not Nightmare Night yet

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>>30005093
Only if it's an affection invasion.

>>30005258
>Every night while the rest of equestria sleeps Luna watches you through a window like portal.
>All your struggles, hopes and dreams are witnessed only by her.
>She knows you better than you know yourself.
>All she asks of the heavens is that one day she'll be able to meet you.
>To be close to you.
>To give you the love that you deserve.
>And be by your side forever.

You queers got any stories where anon proves his manlyness eventually?
It kind of irks me when he just gets shit on the entire time.

>>30005469
Nof's looks promising, but he updates at a snails place.

>>30005469
No
We don't have any of those.

>>30005469
You can find stuff similar to what you desire in a lot of LAP's stuff, especially his earlier stuff. In fact, a lot of stuff has had the 'Anon rebels and is a manly man' theme over the year(s)

>>30004405
The US west coast (California at least, and some of Washington from what I've seen) does nothing but churn out IPA's...dear God almighty so many IPA's an starts up selling more IPA's. It's gotten ridiculous. You want something hoppy? Hell yeah we got you covered. You want variety? Good luck pal. Hardest thing to find is a good red ale; we have red IPA's and red double IPA's, but no FUCKING RED ALE.

Also, PBR, Bud, Coors, and (to a less degree) 805 Keep it local serve one, and ONLY ONE purpose: the time honored tradition of shotgunning beers.

>>30004251
>Trixielist
yah got me

>>30005469
Cutter Butter
Diggy Hole
Love and Powerlifting Presents Love and powerlifting by LoveAndPowerlifting

>>30005469
Sorry fresh out, we do have a lot of "Anon fucks the princess, has foals and orgies and becomes King of all Da lands, but is still a kooky prick" stories around though.

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>>30006060
what strange things to get randomly salty over

>>30006060
That's one of the worst things about Anonymous stories in general. Anonymous can act like an enormous asshole and not expect any consequences for it.

>>30006083
Well duh. It's rgre. That's kinda the point of the genre.

>>30006129
Do you not even realize how big of a mary sue your character is? RGRE stories tend to run the gamut of making ponies act stupid to outright villainous, and Anon is always the protagonist and nothing can go wrong because every mare within a 20 mile radius want his dick, even princesses.

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>>30006168
>even princesses
nice

>>30006168
Write a story where ponies dont take anon's shit.
Anon acts up and gets his shit slapped

>>30006269
I'm not a writer. It might be hypocritical to judge other people's works when I don't create any original content but I still think it's a legitimate complaint

>>30006339
Until you have actually wrote a story it's best to not complain about everyone elses and say they suck. It won't get you anywhere as you haven't even tried to write your own to see how hard it really is. It's not just slapping a keyboard and BOOM, story. No it's actually difficult.

>>30006168
Well duh. It's /mlp/. That's kinda the point of all green. It's all Mary sue/wish fulfillment.

>>30006353
Are you retarded? You don't need to have written a story to point out flaws. Not that I agree (or disagree) with the dude but c'mon.

>>30005214
I think the strange waifu thread has some
>>29983519

>>30006406
That's not what I was trying to say, I was saying it's not as easy as he thinks. Imagine this,
>a story were Anon is treated like a piece of shit, is ugly fat and ponies won't be nice to him.
Don't like that? Okay I'll knock it down a bit.
>Nothing is sexually attracted to Anon,
and they don't want to be known as 'That pony who hangs out with the weird ape thing.' He can't get a job because who would want that thing around their food or to have to look at it while they try to buy something.
Let me try again.
>A extremely long story were nothing happens but Anon running away from danger and no actual sign of a love interest and can't fight anything because he'd logically be glass in a pony world but eventually after 150 pages of nothing something happens and Anon finally finds a pony that is somewhat interested but then see's Anon doesn't really have much redeeming qualities compared to other ponies and their relationship doesn't work out. The end.
Now, am I saying it's impossible to write a interesting story with relationship building? No, but alot of people don't realize how hard it is to write in a logical relationship without making it get boring and not just starting off with">Be Anon. *Enter pone name* and you have know each other for blah blah blah." which in it's own could be seen as Mary s
Sueing. I don't know it could just be me being a complete retard because I haven't slept in 28 hours. So if it is, I'm sorry.

Prompt idea!

>One day all males in the world have disappeared,
>from this day everything goes downhill,
>after short and bloody war civilization on Eqiuss is no more,
>there is groups of strugglers here and there but they too busy fighting over porn magazines for civilization to rice again,
>one day an old scavenger named Harshwhinny searching the ruins
>She founds an strange contraption that comes to life after she messes up with it`s console
>contraption spews out a baby, human baby,
A MALE BABY
>Harshwhinny knows that no-one must know about this
>she calls him monkey-friend, hides him in her basement and raises him to live in this coltless world until he matures

This summer prepare for adventure, with Harshwhinny and "THE MONKEY FRIEND!"

A few threads ago there was an idea.
granny smith shows up at anons kissing booth with a jar of bits.

However, That got me thinking, granny is what, several hundred years old, or at least that's the way its made out in mlp.

So, instead of granny smith being old and wrinkly as all hell, she buys anon away with a large jar of bits, gets in a poison joke bath, and out pops granny in her prime...
Its just easier to pretend to be old then explain she is immortal for reasons.
Anon finds out granny plays the role of borderline senile granny just for fun, they hit it off together.

what happened to that one green where the Apple's had fangs and Applejack was thirsty for Twilight in like the first five minutes of meeting her?

>>30006732
It got cancelled.
https://pastebin.com/PfvhAejw

>>30004990
Yeh
Also, welcome to the thread

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>>30006887
FUCK

A ponie/ponies tell anon they they are pregnant and its his.
Anon talks a bit longer then they are comfortable with to respond
anons response is simple
"Well... you can't get more pregnant can you? Let's deal with reality a bit later."

>>30004184
He should bin it. Fuck fimfiction.

>>30006556
So Horizon Zero dawn, with rgre and no metal dinosaurs. Pass

>>30006556
Sounds like reverse gender Battle Tanx

>>30002146
Great update LaP.
Btw. What happened to the Story with the Human Kingdom in the North? Are you continuing it?

>>30004405
I'm Canadian and I'll agree with you on that. I think our whiskey is better though.

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>>30007847
what? i don't think you've had proper american whisky if you think that.

>>30007847
Don't worry, both of your Whiskeys are inferior to Scottish Whisky.

Big fan of bourbon though.

>>30006556
So, like... children of men except rgre?

>>30007847
Canadian Whisky's ok. Quite smooth and very sweet but that's about it. Agree with >>30007927 that Scotch is better, but some Japanese whiskies out rank some Scotch.

>>30003696
>Hello darkness my old friend.
>Opening your eyes you were greeted with several concerned pony faces, much too close to your own.
>From the looks of it you were at the hospital.
“Any of you ever heard of personal space?”
>”Thank goodness you’re alright darling, we were all very worried.”
>Rarity, seemed relieved as she spoke.
>Most likely since you were her best customer and losing you meant a cut in her profits.
“So anyone want to fill me in on exactly what happened? The last thing I remember was a pony missile to giblets.
>All the mares eyes seemed to draw their eyes away from your laying form.
>”They brought you here after you lost consciousness, the doctors said there wasn’t any real damage, but…”
>That made you nervous.
“But…”
>”You should see for yourself.”
>Lifting the hospital blanket you saw why they might have been hesitant on saying the full truth.
>”The doctors felt it was a necessary precaution in case there was any hidden damage.”
>Your junk was in a cast.
>”As for Bon Bon, she’s in jail on charges of assaulting a stallion in public.”
“Wait- really? I mean it did hurt, but jail? Isn’t that a bit much?”
>Twilight stepped forward hesitantly, as if she was a little conflicted about the matter.
>”I tried to talk to the guards but they wouldn’t even listen to me.”
>You might have hated the mare with every fiber of your being, but that didn’t mean you wanted to send her to jail.
>That and you may have instigated her reaction to a certain degree.
“Alrighty everyone, get out so I can get some clothes on.”
>You were going to head down to the jail and get this mess sorted out.
>Maybe Bon Bon would tone down her cuntiness out of gratitude, though you weren’t going to be overly optimistic.

>>30008299
really
the whole cock and balls thing seems really unnecessary

>>30008299
>Putting on pants with a dick and ball cast was a new challenge.
>Yet with some trial and error you managed to pull of the feat.
>And after checking out of the hospital, despite the six proclaiming that you needed rest, you were headed down to the town jail.
>You barely made it past the first houses when an all too familiar voice rang through the air.
>”Anon!”
>A mint green pony, whose eyes were filled with worry came careening down the path right towards you.
>”Have you seen Bon Bon, I’ve been looking for the past four hours and can’t find her!”
“She’s in jail.”
>Whatever Lyra expected you to say, it certainly wasn’t that.
>”In jail? Do you know what happened?”
>Maybe telling her to full story wasn’t going to be the best idea.
“I’m headed there now to see if I can talk some sense into the guards and get this sorted out.”
>Lyra’s eyes narrowed suspiciously, but she nodded.
>”Something tells me you know more than you’re letting on, but let’s go.”
>You two didn’t talk as you headed to the eastern part of town where the jail was located.
>”Do you hear that?”
“Hear what?”
>Brining both your hands up to your head, you cupped them behind your ears.
>Damn equine hearing, you couldn’t hear shit.
“What does it sound like?”
>”Like a lot of ponies.”
>A pit began forming in the bottom of your stomach.

>>30008372
>God damn it.
>You hated being right.
>The jail was surrounded by at least a hundred mares.
>Many holding signs that read “Mares Lives Matter!”
>And the all too familiar chant of “Mares go their own way” echoing around.
“Lyra?”
>”What is it?”
“I’m certain Bon Bon will be fine in there until this all blows over, why don’t we just come back tomorrow, or next we- month.”
>Lyra sniffled.
>Fucking shit.

>>30008381
waiting for more

The grave is getting pretty cold, guess it's time to come back to the land of the living.

>>30008381
>Lyra sniffled
No one can resist a sad mint pone

Hey guys, back with more green about your favourite thirsty catburd.

Pastebin: https://pastebin.com/abk5qXPB

Sorry for the delay, exams's been a bitch, and my new motherboard's fucking up.

Story so far: When we last left Gilda, she had just woken up in the large cabin of the strange human, Anonymous.

> Looking up from your plate, a small monolith of well scrambled eggs adorning its ceramic surface, you look at Anonymous sitting on the other side of the table.
> A feast of hashbrowns, bread, condiments, ketchup , various fruits and veggies line the space between the two of you. You even spy a small plate of bacon. Real, honest to the Ancestors, bacon...
> The soft sizzling of the small pan sitting to the side reveals its hearty content of diced mushrooms and what appears to be small slivers of beef.
> A large teapot lets loose the faint trail of a vapor fumes from its tout. A crystal decanter stands proudly next to its shorter, warmer, neighbor. Its content evidently apple juice.
> The appetizing aromas permeate the room. Combining the fragrance of the feast, the rustic scent of burning wood and ash from the fireplace, both serve to accentuate one another.
> The broad polstered chair upon which you sit is finely crafted, the materials sturdy and a testament to its creators skill.
> Despite the usual early morning chill this time of the year, the temperature in the room is at a nice soothing level.
> The soft sound of a newspaper being flipped turns your focus back on the human.
> Anonymous looks to be carefully reading the contents of the tabloid.
> Clearing your throat, you break the silence. He looks up from the paper at you, a questioning gleam reflecting in his eyes.
“Aren’t you going to…”, you ask, pointing at the contents of the table.
> “Oh,” he says, “Sure, of course it. You’re my guest, after all. Please, eat,” he finishes, a humble smile on his face

>>30008866
“Aren’t you gonna eat yourself,” you question, still waiting for his reaction.
> He sits up in his chair from his leaned back position. “Sure, but I mean, isn’t it customary to let the guests pick first?”, he asks.
> You quickly shake your head.
“No, you first!”
> He raises an eyebrow in question.
“I mean, it’s always the bringer of the meal’s right to pick their portion first!
> “’Bringer of the meal’?” he asks.
“The cook,” you clarify. “It’s, um, a griffon thing. The usually the rooster who prepares the meals, so he gets the first share.
> “Rooster? That’s funny, I don’t remember waking up at the crest of dawn, feeling like shouting the head of my neighbor off,” he says.
> This isn’t working out, mayday!
“S-stallion,” you try again.
> Anonymous leans across the table, his fingers intercrossed, with his chin resting upon his hands. A smirk plays on his lips as his beard brushes against his skin.
> Ancestors, take me home.
“Male, you dweeb!” you squawk indignantly.
> Laughing, he reaches for the plate with the hashbrowns and begins loading a few onto his plate, before retrieving the decanter. You clutch the pan with the beef and mushrooms, with an annoyed huff.
> He moves the decanter against your glass, raising his brows in an unspoken offer.
> You nod in gratitude, grabbing the salt and pepper, as he pours you a glass.
> The two of you dig in, the varieties in taste and texture surprising you.
> After a while, Anonymous pauses his eating, and looks at you. “Tell me, Gilda, what’s the griffonian society like? I’ve spent all of my time among ponies, either here in Ponyville or in Canterlot, but never surrounded by griffons.”
> The question takes you by surprise.
“What would you like to know?” you ask.
> Anonymous ponders for a moment, brushing his chin with his right hand. You’ve noticed he has a habit of doing that.

>>30008875
> “Well, considering my limited knowledge of Equess, how about I ask you some short questions, and you answer them?”
“Sounds… reasonable, you reply.
> “Great”, he says, leaning back as he begins peeling an apple using a small knife. He cuts out a piece of the fruit, eating it with a contemplative look on his face.
> “Hm…” he begins. “What type of rulership do you have in, Griffonstone, right?”
“Yes, a monarchy.”
> “What’s the gender ration like?” he continues, starring at a piece of apple with a sharp look.
“Roughly fifty-fifty, I’d guess,” you shrug.
> “Standard of living?”
“Harsh, but tolerable.”
> He hums in thought. “What’s the ritual of courtship like with you birds?”
“Why do you want to know that?”, you retort.
> “Pure curiosity, really,” he says. “Ponies have the whole herding business going on, along with a gender ratio like a nurse school,” he explains.
“Well…” you begin. “Griffons are monogamous, to an extent. A hen…”, seeing the question on his face, you clarify “…girl griffon, usually prove her worth to a roo- I mean guy – in some way.”
“It can be through physical prowess, fighting the competition, or by her skill at a craft. If a guy sees her as a financial stable mate, and likes what he sees, they hook up, and start a family.
> Nodding in thought, the human eats another piece of fruit. “Sounds a bit like my homeworld, though with a bit less fighting, no offense.”
“None taken,” you say. “What’s your world like, Anonymous?”
> “It is… varied,” he starts. “We come in all shapes, sizes, colours and orientations. Earth, my home world, is not homogenous in the least. We’re the only sapient species on our world too.”
“No griffons in your world?” You ask inquisitively.

>>30008879
> He chuckles, “Nope, sadly they only exist in mythology and superstition.”
> You turn to look down at your plate again, contemplating his answers.
> Your train of thoughts are quickly derailed though.
> “By the way, I met Rainbow on my way to Sugarcube Corner. She confirmed your story. Look..” he begins solemnly, scratching his neck.
> “I’m sorry for the whole manhandling you… and forcing you to help me drag the stag back… and locking you up. Christ, when I recount these things, it makes me sounds awful.”
> You study his face, regret and shame apparent on his features.
“That’s okay, I got a free breakfast out of it, right?” you say with a hint of humor. “It wasn’t that bad either”, you continue, trying to soften the slight awkwardness of the situation.
> Anonymous’ head swivels up and looks you in the eyes.
> “’Not that bad…’” he repeats, an unreadable tone in his voice and a reawakened smirk on his lips.
> “Do you like being held down, Gilda?” he asks nonchalantly, standing up.
> You stare at him.
> “W-what did you say?” you question a breathless whisper.
> He places the knife down on the table, as he moves around the table. His steps careful and elegant. The eyes follow yours, all the way to look down into yours.
> “You heard me, Gilda.” He continues. “How did it feel? For once in your life, you not being the hunter, but rather, the hunted?”
> You’re unpleasantly reminded of the difference in the size of the two of you as he stands besides you. His shape towers over your prone form. His shirt doing little to contain his broad shoulders, and wide arms.
> He draws a heavy breath expanding his chest.
> WoahMomma.burd
> “Being hunted not only by a fellow predator, but a superior one…” Anonymous says in a low tone, as he moves behind you. Your eyes shift to look straight ahead of you, your muscles tense.

>>30008884
> You feel the soft caress of his hands on your head, gently pampering the feathers. By the ancients, that feels heavenly.
> An involuntary purr escapes you.
> The combination of his earlier words and his gentle fondling of your crest sends waves of mixed emotions through you. You’ve never felt like this before.
> The enticing feeling of bliss and the harrowing feeling of being in mortal danger.
> “I’m willing to be that you’ve never experienced that before, right?”
> You hum in confirmation.
> His hand moves to your shoulders, joined by the other. They begin kneading your joints with firmness and competence.
> Strong digits pressing into your tense flesh, softening it to the touch.
> Circular patterns made by his unyielding thumbs sends thrills of satisfaction through you.
> You sigh and leans back into his hands.
> He chuckles lowly, and moves his lips to your ear.
> “As a matter of fact, I would bet that deep, deep down… You griffons resemble ponies in ways more than you would think...” he murmurs huskily. You notice his musky scent surrounding you, the scent of a adult male in his prime.
> His hands move down your back, finding your wing joints.
>Trailing the contours of your tendons, his hands trace each primary after another.
> “To be honest, I think that some griffons might even enjoy a few of these ways…”
> As he speaks, his right hand squeezes your wings biceps.
> What happens next is the purebred result of thousands of hours of flight and millions of years of evolution. An age-old reaction, powered through the entirety of your body.
> Your instincts kick in hard as your claws grab onto the chair, your hind legs bracing against the padding, with your wing extending in an imaginary attempt to flap itself. A resounding “Chirp!” follows through as well.
> The force of the appendage knocks the human on his ass, clutching his nose as streams of crimson flows into his beard.
> Ancestors, bring me home now...

>>30008888
Check these digits

Aaaaand that's all for now. Join next times, as we follow Anon's attempt to right his wrongdoings.
Let me know if there's any errors, so I can correct them in the pastebin.
As always, have a nice day, Anons.

>>30008056
>>30007571
>>30007296

I was thinking more about lisa the painful rpg and kemono friends when i wrote this.

With little human in the place of buddy.

>>30008381
>>Lyra sniffled.
Oh shit we got a sad poner!
Anon, save that cunt and make Lyra smile again.

>>30008897
>8888
digits witnessed,

good story by the way.

>>30008897
Fucking yiss, nigger. Loving it so far.

> “Oh,” he says, “Sure, of course it...
I think you messed up there.

>>30008381
>It’s quite odd to find a throng of adorable mares threatening.
>But here you were.
“Please don’t make me do this.”
>Lyra’s sniffling only increased and you could see the beginnings of tears forming at the corners of her eyes.
“Fine. Just so you know, if they kill me, I’m coming back to haunt your ass.”
>”Oh thank you!”
>The mares demeanor did a 180, going from sad to happy in the span of a second.
>She tricked you. Damn mint pony. Damn alligator tears.
“Let’s get this shitshow on the road then.”
>Beginning your suicidal march towards the angry mob you began to reminisce on your life.
>Your first day going to school.
>The first time you got beat up.
>The first time you gave a beating.
>Incognito in a clown outfit at the circus.
>Jesus, your life was fucked up.
>”Look everypony! Why if it isn’t the stallion that got Bon Bon locked up.”
>Technically her getting locked up was because she assaulted you.
“Yeah about that… can-“
>”GET HIM!!!”
>This was the last time you ever tried to do the right thing.

>>30009136
I keep forgetting to put up the bin for it https://pastebin.com/vYAg8B3P

>>30009143
I hope there's more coming today. Want to know what happens next.

>>30009136
>In the mad rush of pony bodies slamming themselves like a wave into you, you lost sight of Lyra.
>Your clothes were torn away, leaving you only in your protective cast.
>Bright side to this, it was at least a warm evening.
>Where the fuck was Lyra? Shouldn’t she be at least trying to protect you from them.
>”Take him to the leaders, they’ll decide what to do with him.”
>One of the mares who was wearing a bandanna declared.
>Leaders? So this wasn’t some random mob.
>They were organized.
>Almost as if you were in a mosh pit, your body was hefted and moved forward.
>Several of the mares pinched and tried to cop a feel as your body travelled over them.
“Hey hooves off.”
>Mares go their own way my ass.
>The only thing they were after was your innocence and virtue.
>Regardless of how you felt about this, you were about to encounter the final boss.
>The mastermind of this fiasco.
>The being behind this whole shit tornado.
>”Hello Anonymous, surprised to see us?”
>No it couldn’t be.
“You little cockgobblers!”

>You lost sight of Anon the moment the mares rushed him.
>As his stallionish screams grew you saw his clothes fly into the air.
>Using your magic you grabbed his pants out of the air.
>For research purposes of course.
>Stuffing the article of clothing in a saddle bag you walked past the mob who paid you no mind and into the jail.
>Anon was a grown stallion, he could handle himself while you got Bonnie out.
>”Lyra you backstabber, help me!”
>Stop being a such a colty colt Anon, they wouldn’t hu-
>”Stop grabbing my butt!”
>He’ll be fine.

>>30007847
Canadian whiskey IS pretty damn good.

>>30002146
Hmmm. Nice, funny and comfy update. Thanks LaP! Looking forward to the next one.

>>30002810
I second that request.

>>30005469
>>30006049
I agree about Diggy Hole. It is a wonderfully over-the-top piece of hilarity. I haven't read the others yet.

>>30006531
>don't want to be known as 'That pony who hangs out with the weird ape thing.'
I'm sure I've read at least one fic like that on FimFiction and the AnonXGilda green that started here is kinda like that. I get the sense he's tolerated by the ponies which is why he lives on the outskirts of Ponyville close to the Everfree.
>*gasp* AnonXGilda Green update >>30008866 ~yay~

>>30007694
>What happened to the Story with the Human Kingdom in the North?
I think that is Ghouls' green 'Reassigned'.

>>30008056
Not that Anon but that is exactly what I thought of.

>>30008299
>Your junk was in a cast.
kek. I don't know why I found that line so funny in context.

>>30008897
Welcome back! Great update and hilarious ending. Looking forward to more.

>>30009153
This indeed. Cliffhanger be damned. kek

>>30008888
>checked

File: 1417568631055.png (106KB, 800x946px) Image search: [Google]

106KB, 800x946px

>>30008897
That very rapidly went from 'cozy breakfast' to 'I'm gonna rape you now'.

File: 1393037138475.gif (679KB, 526x461px) Image search: [Google]

679KB, 526x461px

>>30009253
where is the rgre

why is lyra faking tears to get her way with anon
why are mares attacking a male without a single thought

File: NotAMemeCartridge.jpg (1MB, 2048x1536px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 2048x1536px

Ayy gaybois. Next one dropping soon.

https://pastebin.com/4wGMsAch

Starting from line 248

>>30009977
OH SHIT BOI

>>30009977
As usual, I edited this almost none. Expect mistakes.

>The first thing that hits you as you tumble out of the pin head sized hole is the ground with a loud *Thump!*.
>It knocked the wind out of you and would have been painful if the unearthly agony of being shoved through a wormhole didn’t dominate your mind.
>For a moment, you’re content to just lay on the floor and let the cool wood soothe the flushed skin of your forehead.
>Isn’t this a fine fucking mess? Really, you wish you could sit here longer, but you know the noise probably attracted attention.
>An “Eep!” tells you that exactly, actually.
>With herculean effort, you jump to your feet.
>...Or you try, and succeed in flopping over so that you stare at the wooden ceiling.
>What an oddly intact ceiling it is for being in Lynchburg, AKA hell on earth.
>You cut your eyes to the person who made the Eep, intent on stalling until you had enough cognitive function and feeling in your arm to reach your gun.
>Where your gaze falls on the other person in the room, you can’t help but blink, since the person is not a person.
>But rather a frightened looking purple pegasus-unicorn. The poor thing is almost shivering against the wall.
>Then it opens it’s mouth. “Are… Are you okay?” she(?) asks unsurely, her voice akin to a young woman’s.
>A sarcastic reply is on your tongue, but you hold it in favor of thinking and taking stock of what’s going on..

1/x

>>30010003
>The government goons tossed you through a wormhole generator. That’s first, of course.
>No living being has ever actually MADE it through one of these things, if what you can infer is correct.
>And this is not Lynchburg, as Lynchburg has no stable buildings, never lacks uncomfortably close gunfire, and it certainly does not have purple ponies.
>Mission failed? Or...
>Letting out a breath, your idle thoughts come to the surface.
”Yeah, I’m fine. Physically at least. My day isn’t going too well, though.”
>The purple pony freezes, the pupils AND iris in her large eyes shrinking to pinpricks as she looks at you.
>It takes a bit of effort to not flinch at the unnatural sight.
>If the generator killed you, then this might be the wrong afterlife. Kinda doubtful on that idea though, since your entire body is still throbbing painfully like one giant bruise.
>You return your focus to the gaping purple pony.
>Truly, you are out of fucks to give.
“Mind if I sit here for a moment?” You casually ask the small equine. “I really don’t want to get up.”
>She nods absently, looking more past you than at you now.
>The purple pony slowly starts to tremble, worrying you some when it gets so bad you hear her legs knocking together.
>”Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no…”

2/x

>>30010005
>Her trembling turns into a frantic little dance as she bounces on her hooves, making her wings flap clumsily.
>”Oh no oh no oh no oh no!”
>The pitch of her voice starts to rise as her words get faster.
>”Ohnoohnoohnoohnoohnoohnoohno!”
>You sigh for what seems the like the thousandth time today. Looks like you’re not getting the short break you wanted.
>”IJUSTFOALNAPPEDASTALLIONI’MGOINGTOJAILORWORSETHEMOONNONONONONO!”
“What-napped a who? Going where?” You ask yourself quietly, wondering if you hear the words correct.
>Purple.
“Gah!”
>You recoil as the little pony is suddenly in your face, babbling at an unreal speed as she tears up.
>It’s only your still jumbled nerves that saves her from catching a jaw-breaking punch to her cute face.
“ENOUGH!”
>Now it’s her turn to recoil.
>Slowly, you pull yourself into a painful sitting position and face the other occupant of the small, dim room, careful to keep a hand hovering near your holstered pistol.
>For a moment, you just stare at her.
>She stares back, blinking periodically as her heaving chest calms.
“So,” you start, making her ears perk. “What sort of drugs am I on? This is some high grade stuff with how vivid everything is.”
>”D-drugs?” the pony parrots, her voice unsure. “I don’t… Do you…”
>She recoils again, head whipping backwards and her back arching like a frightened cat. “You think I drugged you?!”

3/x

>>30010009
“Didn’t you?” you ask while looking around the glass littered area.
>The pain in your eyes probably means busted blood vessels.
“This time, it’s impressive. Normally it’s not as… Colorful. Lynchburg has never been so vibrant, even in some creepy basement.”
>”I WOULD NEVER!” Your diminutive captor roars, outrage clear in her voice. “I’m not some shameless fratmare or something like that! The very thought makes me sick!”
>You wince as her echoing voice only makes your ringing ears and migraine worse.
“Fine then, let’s assume I believe that,” you say, fingering the rough grip of your real-feeling Glock through your gloves. “Why are you a pony that’s fit for a cartoon then?”
>No reaction to you touching your gun it seems.
>”Wha..?”
“You’re a pony. Why?”
>She blinks and tilts her head like a confused puppy. “Because I’m a pony and I’ve always been one..?”
>You cross your arms, subtling feeling the mag pouches on your plate carrier.
>They feel real too, and the magazines even have the knife gouge you put on all your polymer mags as an ID mark.
“You sure?”
>Her confusion only grows, as evidenced by her frown. “Yes, I’m sure. One hundred percent sure.”
>Now it’s your turn to frown.

4/x

>>30010013
>This is awful consistent for a hallucination. The shitters in Lynchburg don’t have the supplies, knowledge, or equipment needed to synthesize such a powerful psychoactive drug that isn’t lethal shortly after being administered.
>As far as you know, there are NO hallucinogens that can spoof tactile sensation so accurately, either. Even the
>And you sure as hell would not have been left with your entire equipment load, let alone your very real feeling guns.
>With a growl, you pin your own lip between two canine teeth and chomp down.
>The sharp, new pain of the flap of flesh being pierced is first, then the copper tang of blood coats your tongue, bringing your senses to a near supernatural clarity.
>Your eyes dart around, taking in everything before the burst of lucidity fades.
>Nothing changes.
>With a frown, you look down at your own fingers and count them, muttering the numbers to yourself.
>With a drug this powerful, it should be similar to a dream where numbers don’t remain constant, but shift with your own mind’s unconscious whim.
“Ten…”
>Four times do you count ten fingers, each wiggling on command.
>Your focused gaze lands on the pony, who pulls her own eyes from your hands with a flinch.
>She fidgets under your scrutiny, but otherwise stays still.

5/x

>>30010018
>A thin, yet plush-looking coat of uniform violet.
>Wings just as real looking as a birds folded on her sides, twitching occasionally.
>A disheveled looking mane that bobs and sways with each movement of her head.
>All consistent.
“Oi.”
>The pony starts, probably surprised by suddenly being addressed.
“Get up and do a twirl for me real quick.”
>Once again, her head tilts in what you guess is confusion “Do a twirl?”
“Humor me, please.”
>For a moment, she’s unmoving with her expression still in place. After a another second, the mare stands and slowly walks in a tight circle, her hooves clopping on the wooden floor like one might expect.
>The sound, the sway of her mane, the twitch if her wings, even her voice are all consistent.
>You feel your mouth tighten into a thin line when the purple mare doesn't change. Not even the slightest bit.
“Motherfucker…”
>This isn’t Lynchburg.
>The dim, dusty room falls into a tense, uncomfortable silence.
>The talking pony looks around, seemingly unsure with how to proceed. To be honest, you’re not really sure yourself.
>Just where do you go from “Fall out of wormhole into pony basement then pass self administered drug test”?
>”Erm…”
>You look back up to the pony, hand resting on your hip just above your gun.
>She paws at the floor. “I know this is probably strange for you, but maybe we,” she looks up at you, then gasps and cuts herself off. “You’re bleeding!”

6/x

>>30010023
>You blink, then remember your self-inflicted wound and wipe at your mouth, smearing the back of your glove with red.
>She stands with purpose suddenly, making you flinch and nearly draw from the unexpected action.
>The pony either didn’t notice, or more worryingly, didn’t care, and strode across the room to the sole bit of furniture in the dusty room. A simple table with several unassuming items.
>One of the items in a plain looking box of tissues that she retrieves with her mouth and trots back with.
“Whoa, hold up!”
>You stop the bewildered pony just short of arms reach of you with a wave of your arm.
“Just… Drop them there, okay?” You ask, not wanting the pony to come too close.
>She looks vaguely hurt, but does what you ask and leaves the box on the ground before she backs up a few steps.
>Swiping a tissue, you hold it against the hole in your lip, the pain of which is becoming more prominent as your background pains slowly fade into dull aches.
>”Like I was saying earlier,” starts the pony, gazing at you with a sideways look. “I think we may have got off on the wrong hoof.”
>You raise an eyebrow at the odd, if fitting phrase.
“Prehaps.”

7/x

>>30010025
>The pony smiles, a cute expression. “I think introductions are in order. My name is Twilight Sparkle. It’s nice to meet you!” The now named Twilight says with refreshing cheer.
>It’s enough to make the edges of your lips twitch upwards.
“Anonymous is my name,” you say, tapping a finger on the front of your armor. “Or just Anon for short.”
>Twilight nods happily, then quickly sobers when her eyes glance around. “Oh. Yeah…”
>She paws at the ground in what you assume is a nervous gesture. “You’re probably wondering how you got here…”
>Again, you feel an eyebrow raise, but nod.
>”W-well. I was working on an advanced summoning spell, you see,” she begins, making your other eyebrow rise. “I didn’t ground or put a delay macro on the catalyst, so when I used my telekinisis near it, it pulled some of my mana and well, triggered without parameters besides the prebuilt ones.”
>That did nothing but raise more questions you silly horse.
>Twilight looks at the floor, her whole form sagging under an invisible weight. “And worst of all, I-I didn’t make any desummon triggers. So I… Can't send you back…”
>What.
“Huh?” you ask more out of reflex than anything.
>The pony recoils slightly, as if struck. “I c-can’t send you back,” she repeats, voice cracking with emotion and eyes looking everywhere but you. “I foalnapped you…”

8/x

>>30010028
>For a minute, you just sit, eyes narrowed at nothing as you process what she just said.
>Where do you fucking go from there? Magic? Summoning? Mana?
>You were sent here with some totally-not-stolen government tech, right?
“Magic?” You question, starting to feel a bit overwhelmed. “Okay… How does that work?”
>Twilight’s ears perk up as the gloom on her face lessens. “The summoning?”
“Yeah, sure.”
>The purple mare taps her chin with a hoof in a surprisingly human gesture. “Well, I made a summoning circle out of chalk filled with Fabelmin runes, an older and largely utilitarian rune set. After that, I provided the chalk circle with a potent mana infusion drawn in by absorption runes in the primary set of the sect, which-”
“OKAY! Hold up!”
>Your outburst earns you a startled yelp as Twilight’s forelegs shoot to cover her mouth.
“You’re only raising more questions here,” you tell her as you rub your temples, trying to keep your resurging migraine at bay. “Just an abridged version, please.”
>”Sorry, Anon” Twilight says with a sheepish smile as her wings flutter a little. “I should have guessed a stallion wasn’t interested in specifics. I just used a magic powered rune circle to summon you on accident. And I didn’t make desummon triggers...”
>Her gloomy attitude returns, making her hang her head.
>You groan under your breath at the pitiful sight.

9/x

>>30010035
“Look, Twilight was it? Maybe we can talk about this more in a more fitting place?” You ask, making her look up. “I’d also like to wash out the puncture on my lip if you’d allow…”
>You punctuate your statement by pulling the now near-totally red tissue away from your lip, careful to not break the slowly forming scab, and showing her.
>You swear you see her go white under her purple coat while looking at the large blot of red. “Ugh. Of course, where are my manners today? Let’s go upstairs.”
>You grunt and slowly rise to your legs, trying to not to let just how sore you are become apparent.
>Twilight just looks up at you with wide eyes as you finally hit your full height after what seems to be forever with your head hardly six inches from the ceiling..
>“You… You looked much shorter while sitting,” she says simply, craning her neck back to look in your eyes..
>You look down at her, seeing that the top of her head just barely cleared your belt.
“Maybe you’re just short while standing?” you ask, an amused smirk finding its way to your face.
>Twilight puffs her cheeks out indignantly and briskly turns, but you can see her lips upturned.
>You silently trail after her as she trots to the set of shallow stairs on the side of the room where you duck slightly as you walk up, one stride of your own for every two of hers.

10/x

>>30010040
>Right before you and Twilight come to the door between the stairs and wherever else this building goes, a sudden PRESSURE makes itself known bearing down on senses.
>You tense like a coiled spring, fingers wrapping tightly around the comforting grip of your pistol as the alien sensation washes over you.
>Like high air pressure on someone’s sinuous you feel it, yet, it’s not that. Something foreign and unsettling pushes down on part of you that doesn't exist, leaving the feeling of ice in the pit of your stomach.
>It’s unnatural.
>Your eyes are drawn to a soft violet glow just ahead of you accompanied by an odd sound.
>If you had to describe the sound in one word, it would be “glittering”.
>And the origin of the odd phenomena?
>The spiraled horn on Twilight’s head.
“The fuck..?”
>You watch in utter fascination as the doorknob in front of your equine acquaintance glows in the same corona of translucent color, then turns under it’s own power, letting the door swing outward and pouring light and fresh air down the stairwell.
>Is that real magic?
>More questions plague your mind as the glow stops, and with it, the odd pressure upon you vanishes as well.
>Just what the fuck is going on here? Was that a directed zero-point field she just created? From her horn?
>Jesus christ you are so lost.

11/x

>>30010043
>”Anon?”
>You blink yourself out of your daze when you hear Twilight call to you from the top of the stairs.
>Directing your gaze up, you see the unicorn-pegasus looking down at you in your spot frozen halfway up, concern coloring her expression.
“Yeah, sorry. Just thinking…”
>2 steps at a time, you walk up and leave the stairwell, squinting as your eyes adjust to the sudden sunlight.
>”The bathroom is just down the hall to your right, last door.” Twilight provides as a largely wooden library foyer comes into focus before your eyes. “Feel free to take as long as you like cleaning up. I need to go inform my assistant of what’s going on.”
>Awful trusting, this one.
“Thanks. I’ll be just a minute.”
>She smiles a sweet smile at you, then turns and calls “Spike! Can you come here? We’ve got a few things to talk about.”
>And with that you walk down the hall she pointed out, keeping an eye over your shoulder as she trots off, presumably to find “Spike”.
>Odd name for another pony, if it’s not a pet dog or something.
>You smile at the peculiar thought. Little magic horses owning, domesticating, and breeding wolves to make dogs. Wouldn’t that be something?
>As you close the door to the too-small bathroom door to a suspiciously human looking bathroom, you bend enough to see yourself in the bathroom mirror.
>And the mask covering you shatters.

12/x

>>30010046
“Shit shit shit SHIT!”
>Your trembling hands squeeze the rim of the porcelain sink so hard that your knuckles pop out against your gloves.
“Jesus fucking christ, what is going on?” you ask your equally distraught reflection, desperately hoping for an answer.
>The mirror offers no response, and even seems mocking in doing so.
>Your self restraint almost snaps in the face of the urge to smash the mirror.
>Fuck. Fuck! What are you going to do?!
>You hang your head over the short sink, breathing deeply and trying to keep your stomach from violently emptying itself.
>The bridge was the mother of all screw-ups. Typical government goons try and use something they have no idea how to control, like literally every film and book where it’s man vs government.
>You have no idea where your team is. You may not have cared much for the poor bastards, but neither did you wish death, or worse, a trip to Virginia on them.
>Is this truly some odd parallel world? What did it? Was it the magic nonsense, or the Bridge’s malfunction that did it? Is the air filled with bacteria sure to kill you? The food and water maybe? So many questions and not a single damn answer. Why do you and Twilight speak the same language?

13/x

>>30010050
>Twilight.
>Just the thought of the purple pony makes confused frustration bubble in your chest. How does one even process encountering such an absurd creature? She maybe a sweetheart, but she still made you uneasy, maybe even fearful.
>Few human opponents can say they’ve ever bested you.
>But the little winged unicorn, chock full of unknown potential, is NOT human.
>And…
>Incognito.
>The groaning sink rim in your hands is given reprieve as both your grip and arms go slack, nearly letting you fall and bust your chin on the faucet had you not caught yourself.
>He’s still back home.
>With THEM.
>You crane your head back up, taking in your own bone-white visage.
>Your mouth moves, but over the thundering of your own heart in your ears, any words you muttered are lost.
>Vanduff would keep his end of the contract and take care of Nito, right? The man was a human shaped piece of shit, but following rules should be hardwired into him from years of being a cronie.
>The thought is less reassuring than it should be.
>Most importantly.
>HOW ARE YOU GOING TO GET BACK?
>...
>Even with your thoughts running hard enough that your recently lost migraine returns with a vengeance, you still blank out save for one solution.
>Get Twilight’s help.

14/x

>>30010057
>With a shaky sigh, you turn the water on and gently clean out the bite in your lip, letting the sound of the running water and the sting in your mouth distract you.
>Halfway through, you shrug off your pack and dig in it with one hand, fishing some spray-on fleshknit out.
“Man, this is going to suck…” You say, eyeballing the military issue can of miracle medicine.
>A GI’s Best Friend! It says on the side, as if the topical medication isn’t awful to use.
>Closing your eyes, you grit your teeth and spray a tiny amount of the regenerative mixture on your lip, writhing as it turns into a stabbing pain and hisses like oil in a hot skillet.
>After just a minute of hissing and bubbling flesh, you eyeball the pus-like ooze and destroyed scab on your lip in the mirror and wipe it away, leaving unmarred skin behind.
>A poke with your tongue confirms that the hole inside your mouth is gone too.
>With a deep breath, you glance at your now less pale expression and toss the spraycan back in your bag before shouldering said bag.
>You’ve dealt with worse than a little pony. This will be fine. Just play it cool like you have be doing and remember…

15/x

>>30010060
“...Friendly diplomacy is the most overpowered weapon in known history,” you say to yourself with a small smile. “Fuck off, Nito. Stop being right all the time.”
>Feeling a bit lighter, you head back out.
>Twilight isn’t there when you come out, but you can hear talking some ways down. One was Twilight, the other was a younger, male voice. Her assitant maybe?
>As you rounded the corner into was seems to be a modest kitchen, the talking halts.
>”Anon!”
>Twilight turns away from her companion to address you, but you ignore her in favor of said companion.
>Staring at you with his eyes popping out of his head is a short, purple scaled biped with green eyes and fins along his head and back.
>The little guy is standing on a chair in front of a sizzling pan on the stove with a… heart covered apron on.
>You said you were out of fucks to give earlier.
>Now you mean it.
>Luckily before things could get awkward, Twilight steps in “Spike,” she starts, addressing the small reptile, who finally pulls his eyes off you. “This is Anonymous,” she says, waving a foreleg at you. “Depending on circumstances, he might be…”
>She winces. “Staying with us for a while…”

16/x

>>30010068
>The winged unicorn lets out a sheepish and none too happy laugh. “Anon, this is Spike. He’s my number one assistant. Without him, I couldn't keep the library running.”
>So this IS a library, eh?
>Spike somehow blushes through his scales at the praise. “It’s nothin’ really…” He mutters, still cooking was seems to be an omelet. “I like to think I do more than just help with the library though,” he starts, tone sly. “If I didn’t cook for her, I think Twilight might have keeled over from terrible nutrition by now.”
>Your lips rise into a smirk at the little lizard’s snark.
>”Spike!” Twilight cries, her face red. “I’m not that bad of a cook. Really.”
>Spike looks back at her, his expression saying more than words could. “Boiling water for haymon noodle cups isn’t cooking.”
>”It is!”
>”Mares…” mutters Spike with a shake of his head and he turned his attention back to the pan. “I thought you said you weren't summoning a coltfriend down there. What’s up with this guy?”
>A snicker almost makes it past your mouth. If “Coltfriend” means what you think it means... Fuuuuuck this little guy is spitting fire.
>”Spike Sparkle!” Twilight retorts sharply, making the young male flinch. “What happened here is a tragic accident. I’ve explained this already. The jokes are unwarranted.”
>You stay silent, unsure if this was their dynamic or if it was even appropriate to interrupt.
>Twilight turns to you, her face apologetic. “I’m sorry about that. He spoke without thinking.”
>You wave away the apology and step a little closer.
“It’s fine. It happens to the best of us. It was a little funny, to be honest.”

17/x

>>30010076
>Spike shoots you a grateful look that morphs into surprise as he gets a better look at you. “You’re tall,” he says bluntly.
“I’ve been getting that a lot,” you tell him with a small smile
>You turn your head to Twilight, who looks up at you curiously.
“Anyway, sorry about the abrupt change in topic here, but I think we’ve got an overdue conversation.”
>”Oh, right… I’ve got some explaining to do…” The little pony solemnly recalls.
>She moves past you to the short table as her horn lights up again, and with that, the uncomfortable pressure on a sense that you don't have returns.
>Glowing purple, chairs pull out for both you and Twilight at the table of their own accord.
>The glow vanishes a moment later, leaving just mundane wooden furniture and relieving the phantom pressure on you.
>You stare at the small chair distrustfully, as if it would transform into a monster at a moment’s notice.
>And for all you knew, it would.
>”Is something wrong?” Twilight asks in a worried tone.
>Your mouth thins into a straight line.
“Yes. What was that you just did?”
>Purple wings ruffle as Twilight shifts on her chair. “I don’t understand the question?”
“The purple aura,” you say, gesturing to the chair with a hand. “What was that?”

18/x

>>30010080
>Large violet eyes blink at you, as if unsure. “My… Magic? Every unicorn can use it.”
>Your blood turns to ice in your veins.
>Every unicorn can do that? Magic?
>Every one.
>As in, there is more than just her. More creatures that can just casually claim to tear space and time apart on a whim.
>If they can do that, then what ELSE can they do, these unicorns?
>Just the implications alone...
>Your hands are suddenly clammy under your gloves.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

>You blink, not sure if the tall stallion..?
>Well, he’s male, so it’s not entirely inaccurate.
>...If the tall stallions was serious.
“My… Magic? Every unicorn can use it.”
>Well, you’re no unicorn anymore, but your statement is still accurate.
>You nearly jump out of your chair in fright when Anon’s hard eyes shoot up from the chair you pulled out for him to your own eyes, pinning you in place.
>Try as you might though, you can’t shrink under the intense leer.
>You can stand eye to eye with Princess Celestia.
>You can stand defiant in face of real monsters.
>And even full of fear, you've stared down the likes of Discord and Nightmare Moon.
>But Anon’s foal-like orbs stare down at you with something you have no name for, something that made your skin crawl and set a lump of ice in your stomach. You don't even realize that you’re quaking on your seat until the chair legs start squeaking on the floor.

19/x

>>30010088
>Even Spike, who isn’t directly looking seems affected by the heavy atmosphere. He keeps glancing back over his shoulder and his usually steady arms quiver slightly as a third omelette is slowly made.
>Idly, you note his paw, hand? Hovering over the black plastic protrusion at his hip.
>You gulp, trying vainly to stop the cold sweat starting to dot your coat.
“A-anon?”
>He doesn't respond, but you see a drop of sweat run down the side of his face and off his chin, where it hits the ground with a quiet *pap!*.
>He’s sweating?
>Your muzzle twitches.
>He is. You can smell the sharp tang of sweat, a copper smell you can't place, and another, indescribable smell that makes your nose tingle slowly filling the room.
>You finally tear your eyes away from his and look lower.
>And as you look, shame slowly supersedes your unease.
>A xenobiologist you are not, but only a blindpony would not see how tense the poor biped is. It’s hard to tell under his clothing, but the bend of his knees and the slight lean towards the doorway tell you all you need to know.
>He’s afraid. Afraid of YOU and ready to bolt. And you’re just sitting here sounding unsure and shifty, making it worse for the poor stallion.
>Tartarus, what would the princess say about you terrorizing some stallion that you FOALNAPPED?

20/x

>>30010093
>Did he even have magic in his home? Could that be it? Or did you perform some sort of taboo with your magic?
>But the idea of a world without magic is nearly unthinkable. That’s like a world with no air, or no sun. How would it work?
>You take a deep breath and feel your nerves smooth over.
“Anon?” You ask, much more gently this time.
>His unsettling stare breaks and the tension in the room leaves all at once like air let out of a balloon.
>”Twilight?” He asks, blinking. “Sorry about that. I must have spaced out.”
“That’s fine!” you tell him sincerely. “This is probably a lot to taken in at once.”
>He nods and crosses his long arms, looking at the chair you offered with a bit less venom than before. “So my biggest question…” he starts, trailing off into silence as his brows furrow.
>You suppress a smile. Without the unsettling look in his eyes, he looks kind of like a grumpy foal while thinking.
>”Am I going to die?”
>Your coat stands on end. This got dark really fast.
>You even see Spike’s head whirl around from his spot at the stove, his jaw dropped.
“I have no idea what gave you that impression, Anon,” you say, trying to sound as disarming as you can. “But I would NEVER even think o-”
>”Not you,” the biped-you really need to ask the name of his species-said with a shake of his head. “I’m an alien here, Twilight. How do I know the very air here isn’t slowly melting my insides? For all I know, I have no defence from the microbes in the air and I’m already on borrowed time,” he says darkly.

21/x

>>30010098
>You wince, both at the morbid vision and the surprise of the question itself.
”No, actually. I think you’ll be fine.”
>“You think?” He asks, his face falling.
“I KNOW you’ll be fine,” you hastily correct yourself. “It would be careless if I just summoned any old thing. That circle came pre-programmed to pick only lifeforms that are able to survive in the environment surrounding the circle.”
>”Pfft. No wonder it was the basement. You really were trying to get a coltfriend…” Spike mutters as he plates the third omelette.
>”Spike!” you half admonish, half whine.
>You whirl around when Anon snorts and holds a hand in front of his upturned lips.
“Don’t encourage him!”
>”It was clever,” he says simply, not moving his hand.
>You just groan and return to your explanation.
“Like I was saying, you would not have been chosen only to,” you gulp. “Die, right after. I entered no parameters before I accidentally activated the circle, but the prebuilt ones ensured that only a creature that could survive on Equis would be brought here.”
>You glance at the chair he still refuses to sit in.
“Magic vulnerability, or lack thereof was considered too.”
>He seems to understand and shrugs off the large bag on his back, setting it against the wall. Yeesh. It’s big enough to carry a pony in.

22/x

>>30010103
>With a grumble, Anon slowly sits on the chair, as if he expected it to jump up and attack him. He has to cross his legs a bit to keep his knees under the pony sized table, however
>”And how exactly did the circle know that I would fit all of said parameters?” Anon asks, resting his head in his hand. “Obviously I’m no expert, and I’m assuming a lot here, but it would have to have some level of sensory ability and decision making skills to pick what it brought back. And let’s not forget the absurd amount of power such a thing had to use to reach across space and maybe time in the first place. This maybe fuckin’ magic, but there has to rules to it, right?”
>You blink and find your mouth opening before you closed it with a *click!*.
“Thats… A line of questioning I didn’t expect from you,” you admit, your surprise fading in favor of a smile. “Actually, I would love to explain the intricacies of magic catalysts and how summoning with one works if you would listen.”
>”Okay, hold on with the nerd talk.”
>You lean back as a plate with a hot veggie omelette, a fork, and a glass of orange juice finds their home in front of you on the table courtesy of a small, scaled paw.
>Another set is placed in front of a surprised Anonymous.
>And finally, one final set of hot breakfast is set on an unoccupied side of the table, where Spike pulls himself into the chair and into view.
>”Maybe we could eat first and save the heavy talks for later?” The young drake suggests, crushing a small emerald in his paws and sprinkling it on his food. “They say eggs are brain food, after all.”

23/x

>>30010106
>You open your mouth the disagree, but your stomach makes your decision for you when it growls loud enough for both Spike and Anon to look at you.
>With a blush, you look away spear some of the egg treat on your fork after you pick it up in your telekinesis.
“Well, I guess it can't hurt,” you murmur, taking a bite of the delicious omelette
>Spike’s smirk tells you he already knew what you were going to say.
>Smug little booger.
>Anon, however is just looking at his food in surprise, not moving to have any.
>Your assistant takes notice halfway to a bite of his own.
>”Is… Is something wrong with it, Anonymous?” he asks, worry and self-consciousness in his words.
>Anon looks up at Spike, an expression you can’t name on his face. “Nothing at all, kiddo. It’s just…”
>He picks up his fork in his right hand, flipping it between his fingers dexterously. “It’s been a long time since I’ve had something home cooked. I guess you kinda caught me off guard,” he says, looking at the wall with a faraway look in his eyes.
>He then turns to Spike, a soft smile on his face. “Thank you, Spike. I mean it.”
>The drake looks at the floor, his cheeks red. “Aww, don't thank me till you’ve tried it,” he half-heartedly deflects.

24/25

>>30010108
>”If it’s half as good as it looks, then it’ll be the best thing I’ve had in years,” Anon replies airly.
>For a few minutes, it’s just you, your assistant, and what you hope will be a friend who one day forgives you for your grievous wrong, all enjoying a calm meal.
>”Say, Anon?” Spike asks suddenly as he finishes his last bite.
>”Hmm?” The taller of the two bipeds inquires through a savored a sip of juice.
>”What’s ‘Fuckin’ mean?”
>You’re really glad it was only a small sip of juice Anon was drinking, or you would have been covered in it.

25/25

>>30010110
All that green, I am PLEASED BY THIS.

>>30010003
>>30010005
>>30010009
>>30010013
>>30010018
>>30010023
>>30010025
>>30010028
>>30010035
>>30010040
>>30010043
>>30010046
>>30010050
>>30010057
>>30010060
>>30010068
>>30010076
>>30010080
>>30010088
>>30010093
>>30010098
>>30010103
>>30010106
>>30010108
>>30010110

Fun fact. This is the first story I've ever made a story board for and NOT just twerked on a keyboard to make.

r8 n h8

Updated: https://pastebin.com/4wGMsAch

>>30009253
Haha fucking cunt, anon needs to smack a bitch

>>30010110
oh boy lets read

>>30010103
>>”Pfft. No wonder it was the basement. You really were trying to get a coltfriend…” Spike mutters as he plates the third omelette.

I love snarky Spike.

Also a nice touch to have his last name be Sparkle. Got a definite Little Brother to Twi vibe here.

>>30010127
Interesting premise.
Snarky Spike was good.
Anon has defined character, but isn't a superspecial snowflake.
Hidden history of Anon and his situation hooked me in.
I'll be watching.

>>30010018
>>30010127
>As far as you know, there are NO hallucinogens that can spoof tactile sensation so accurately, either. Even the
Even the what?

>>30010419
>As far as you know, there are NO hallucinogens that can spoof tactile sensation so accurately, either. Even the post-war government with their loose morals hadn’t tried to develop something like that.
Good catch. Fixed on the bin

>>30010110
10/10 stuff right here, love being in twis head

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>>30010108
>>The drake looks at the floor, his cheeks red. “Aww, don't thank me till you’ve tried it,”

D'aw

>>30007694
>>30009529
>I think that is Ghouls' green 'Reassigned'

Appreciate the shoutout, similar focuses to the stories, too, but actually....
https://pastebin.com/LDbK9Hvw
https://pastebin.com/ARXG5y9d
I believe THIS is the set of stories being discussed. It's called Diplomacy.

>>30010110
>>30010127
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>25/25

IT'S TIME

>>30011268
We're talking about your story, where the updates at? That story put you on my highly coveted "throne of writefags."

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>>30011526
Ayy, I'm honored, glad I could entertain you with my thing. Are you that one fella visiting from Guard Mare a while back? W-We are talking about Reassigned, right?

The good news is I'm working on something right now and I'm almost finished. The bad news is, if the stuff above is true, it isn't what you're waiting for. An update for Reassigned is pending while I sort out other stuff. Like I said in a previous post, though, it isn't dead. I know exactly where it's headed next and I mean to take it there, possibly after I'm done with what I'm doing now. I won't lie to you, I move at a snail's pace and it's hard for me to get motivated, but I also like to finish what I start. It's comin'. In time. I hope you're there to read it when it drops.

>>30011656
Oops

>>30011656
Damn, yeah I'm guard mare guy. I'm sure whatever you've got I'll like. I believe in you Ghouls.

>>30010127
Thanks NOF! I'm am looking forward to the next update.

>>30011268
Ah, I haven't read that one yet. So many greens so little time.

>>30011656
>>30011760
I guess there's more than one of us. I followed Ghouls here from RGM as well. QoC and LaP captured my attention making this the 3rd thread I try to regularly keep up with.

Board moves too fast lately. Are the new episodes decent?

>>30011760
>>30012217
>Royal Guardmare

We give you the green, you give us the spunky soldier mares.
Nice and easy.
Nobody gets hurt.

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>>30012218
>spoonfeed me

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>>30012218
>>30012266
>watching the show

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>>30012290

>>30012290
I hate this meme.
How can you not watch the show.

>>30010025
>“Prehaps.”
FIX.

>>30010040
>>“You… You looked much shorter while sitting,” she says simply, craning her neck back to look in your eyes..
>>You look down at her, seeing that the top of her head just barely cleared your belt.
>“Maybe you’re just short while standing?” you ask, an amused smirk finding its way to your face.
BANTS

>>30010098
>“This is probably a lot to taken in at once.”
ANOTHER FIX

>>30010106
>but there has to rules to it, right?”
FIX AGAIN

>>30010108
>>With a blush, you look away spear some of the egg treat
FIXES KEEP COMING

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>>30010127
I am VERY interested in this story. I'm especially liking the darker and much, much more realistic take on things. I'm excited for more my man.

>>30010108
>You open your mouth the disagree

>>30012614
>>30012656
>>30012662
>>30012668
>>30012683
You fuckers I love you but I hate you stop making my pc ding I want to sleep.

Fixed on the bin.

>>30012688
Have a ding.
Dubs checked.

>>30010127
The green cometh

>>30010127
Please not another story about fucking Twilight
Please not another story about fucking Twilight
Please not another story about fucking Twilight

Continue

>>30008372
She committed a crime. You can't just attack people in public. If a man kicked a woman in the cunt for shit talking him he's going to jail. Especially if he kicked so hard she fucking blacked out.

>>30012688
No fuck you, go fix the shit.

>>30009928
This would be a crime even if the genders weren't reversed. You can't just physically assault people. Bon Bon would have been a criminal too.

>>30013068
I hope it's a story about other stuff but fucking Twilight at some point is acceptable as long as it isn't the main focus.

>>30008875
>The usually the rooster
why did you use the first the* here? Its unnecessary.

>>30013081
It's fixed on the bin you troglodyte. >:^(

>>30014091
I'm not sure how it's relevant but... I do like Derpy so I'm still ok with this post.

>>30012688
DING

>>30014422
DONG DING

>>30014422
>>30014428
DING DONG BANNU

>>30015121
The unholy things I will do on that saddle.
Celestia, how could you?

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>>30013218
There are tons of stories about this, maybe something about less represented parts of M6, or some background ponies Derpy, Spitfire or something

Or even, the horror, story without Anon fucking anything

>>30015121
Do you want Nightmare Moon? Because that's how you get Nightmare Moon!

>>30015121
> Turns out Anon hates the summer heat.
> Looking for a fan
> Finds the fan before Luna gets there
> Luna thinks Anon is her fan
> Anon offhandedly remarks how it's much nicer meeting in the evening because the sun is down and its not as hot.
> Celestia is pissed

>>30015562
>Celestia's pranking causes her sister and Anon to grow closer.
>She's happy to let them think it's intentional, but she's fucking pissed that Anon is ruining the pranks she spent the last thousand years coming up with.

>Anon is under threat
>Cult of ponies see him as an abomination for having no magic
>They don't want to kill him though
>Being ponies, they want to 'help him'...
>By transmogrifying him into a bad alicorn OC
>The Princesses forcibly take him into protective custody, being of the fairer sex and all
>There are actually four cults with similar goals, though they don't know about each other.
>Each is led by a different Princess
>No Princess knows that their family is trying the same thing
>Anon is bored out of his damned mind in 'protection'.

>>30016387
>>By transmogrifying him into a bad alicorn OC
sheeiiiit

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>>30016387
>>30016410
What if they turned him into a Seraph instead.

>>30016387
>secret fifth cult run by Discord who just really wants a fucking roommate that won't get lost in the void or die in some other way when they come to his realm

>>30016387
This activates my personal intrests.

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>>30015121
CELESTIA NO

I had this dumb idea, what if a Femanon with a huge bouncy ass is considered the same has a black guy with a massive dick and the mares start feeling really insecure around her?

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>>30016387
So what you're saying is the princesses want a male alicorn around so he can give them the dick.

>>30016387
As long as Anon NEVER turns into a alicorn oc then yeah!

>>30017339
>femanon
That IS a dumb idea

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>>30017570
>Femanon
I can't remember the last time I read something about her. Kek.
I like the idea anyway.

>>30017570
>muh Anon

>>30008113
I buy the cheapest vodka that I can find and then I mix it with orange juice. Educate this filthy heathen on the subtle differences and intricacies of different countries alcomahols.

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>>30008866
> ketchup

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>>30017626
Femanon is shit. I'd rather read a story about a mare any day.

>>30017810
OH FUCK WE SCREWED IT UP GO BACK RESET RESET BUTTON

>>30008866
I lol'd.

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>>30018033
>Femanon is shit.
Let me guess, is because you can't self insert right?

>I'd rather read a story about a mare any day.
I would read both tbqh.

It's very hard to find good >greens without Anon in general.

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>>30018093
>femanon
>3dpd women
>not a cute mare

>>30018156
I'd like to see the other side of the fence once in a while, Anon stories run out of steam after awhile, variety is the spice of life after all.

>>30018175
So go to fimfiction

>>30018185
Why are you so upset about? I just said I'd like to read a femanon RGRE story and then you start going belligerent over me and another anon. Are you that insecure?

>>30018194
He's not even the same guy. I'm the other guy that thinks femanon is shit.

>>30018175
Anon stories would have more steam if they gave him an actual personality outside of "Snarky Smartass" and the unusually high level of skill with inventing and building shit.

>>30018194
>Being told to go to fimfiction equals belligerent
Your on the wrong website bucko, you need to be 18 or older to be on here.
>>30018203
What about the Anon when he is just a dumb lifter, or the one where he is just a janitor, your problem is as inherently stupid as your comment.

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>>30018203
If we self inserted, Anon would be stuck indoors shitposting and jacking off instead of going outside.

>>30018213
Nice try dipshit. Your problem is that you want all the anon stories to be cookie-cutter.

>>30018200
it IS shit, not because of the idea its just that when ever femanon is written either everybody loses interest because its femanon and not anon or it just end up with a bunch of bashing against 3Dpd.

It's difficult to write an engaging Femanon in RGRE story, at least one that isn't shit, so they're rare.

But I don't see any reason why it can't be done, given a good enough idea/prompt to base a story off of, and a competent writer.

Perhaps a 'multiple humans in RGRE' story, with a few Anons and one or more Femanons.

>>30018229
Femanon stories ALWAYS turn into stories where the author might as well have just used a male character since she inevitably ends up acting like one.

Or worse, she's written as a physically abusive cunt that gets away with assaulting pones left and right through the power of 'muh vagina'.

>>30018229
I have always liked Anon and Femanon being siblings.

On an unrelated note, one nice thing about a Femanon is that she can join Cadance's herd without cucking Shining Armor.

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>Femanon likes to draw pictures of cheesecake
>Anon likes to photoshop timberlands onto all the ponies

>>30017339
Femanon is fooking cancer mate

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Why does Anon always has to be against RGR in every story?

Shit I would be happy staying at home cooking a nice soup while I catter to my pepper plant and tomatoes.
Maybe learning to sing or something while I'm at home.

>pic related
My cute red pepper plant.

>>30018420
Wew.
Nice argument.

>>30018465
That's a cute plant.

>>30018465
>>30018484
10/10 pepper plant would bang after making dinner for it when it arrives home from work

>>30018465
You're going to need a much bigger garden than that to feed your waifu and foals.

>>30018313
>Femanon brags about how big Shining's cock is
>Anon and Twilight both screaming "I can't know that!"
>Dash: "I could stand to hear a little more."

>>30010127
Ya done good NOF. Keep it up you glorious faget.

>>30018465
>Purse
lmao Anon is gay.

>>30017785
Only thing I really know is Scotch and some whiskies. Scotch is whisky made in Scotland and most varieties (single malts and blends - a mix of different single malts) are made entirely of one grain, barley. There are several regions of Scotch, each with their general characteristics (Islay, Highlands, Lowlands, Speyside, Campbelton).

Irish Whisky, very similar to Scotch, but made in Ireland. Made from barley as well, but a mix of raw and malted (ie partially germinated, which breaks down the starch in the seed into sugar) rather than malted in the Scotch case. Also, Irish whiskies are triple distilled, unlike most Scotch which are double distilled (there are some exceptions like Auchentoshen and Hazelburn).

Japanese Whisky is inspired by Scotch whisky, as one Japanese guy learned in the late 1800s and brought the art over to Japan (think commercial production started in 1920s). Made from barley and in recent years have appeared on the radar for many whisky enthusiasts as they have won a number of awards, beating out the Scots in a number of categories.

American Bourbon is, by law 50% corn and a mix of other grains (wheat, rye, etc), made in the USA, aged in new oak barrels and at least 80 proof. Because it's mostly corn and aged in new oak barrels, it is often considered sweeter and has bolder flavors. Fun fact: Beam Inc, the company who make Maker's Mark, Jim Beam and such, are now owned by Suntory as they were bought in 2014 for $13.6 billion (final cost of the sale was $16 billion).

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>>30018174
Mmmm yesssss.
Put that stupid bitch in her place.

>>30018731
No u

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>>30018213
>Bashing good greens just to prove your point
>Being this mad at Femanon

>>30018818
>mfw I got banned for this pic
I still don't know what happened.

>>30018871
>ignoring the points people made about why it was a shit idea to have a femanon
>Claims people are mad
The only one that cares is you, don't blame us for your laziness and shit taste. Write her yourself, prepare to be ignored, then get over yourself.

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>>30018156
>You will never be a cute mare

>>30018973
Always with the genderbending. If I had be be TF'ed, I'd really rather still be a dude afterward.

Unless you're actually a Femanon, in which case ignore me and carry on I suppose.