Reversed Gender Roles Equestria

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1 million changeling babbies

>>27371737
Now will less ring edition.

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>>27371737
>*tsst* we have confirmation. no dong ring! I repeat! no dong ring!! *tsst*

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>>27371737
>mfw it's not dong ring

>>27371737
Needs more dong ring

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>>27371790
>>27371778

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>>27371737
You must construct additional Dong Ring.

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>>27371775
>>27371778
>>27371787
>>27371790
>>27371812
>>27371850

>>27371737
american anon in equestria
>hates monarchys and wants to bring down the royal sisters
>nobody takes him seriously because penis
>anon proceeds to bomb friendship castle
>ponies think an evil mare is makeing him do this
>try to redeem him

"celestia help us" bump

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>>27371850

Alright listen up. Your waifu will become real and will love you forever, but only if we go the rest of this thread without anybody shitposting.

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>>27372077
Shitposting you say?

>>27372077
aaaaaawwwwwww crap.

>>27371932
>bomb the castle
>not throwing all their tea into the bay, suing them, and having barbecues and fireworks shows that they're totally not invited to

>>27372153
this is actually a better idea.

>>27371932
What about Anon in Amareica? Early 1800s Amareica? With extreme misandric views?

>>27371737
After the debacle that was last thread, I'd say dongring is needed as punishment.

>>27372153
>Anon builds a house; paints it white
>Princesses sneak in and burn it down

>>27372276
But the last thread was dong ring. We can't have it twice in a row.

>>27371932
>"Anon, just tell us who's doing this to you! Please, we only want to help!"
"It's me. I did it. Me: Anonymous the human bombed your things."
>"Oh, sweetie, you're safe now. You don't have to lie any more."
"Fuck's sake, you guys."

>Anon FINALLY convinces them that he alone was responsible
>"Anonymous, we're so sorry! It was out poor treatment of you that led to your life of crime. Can you ever forgive us?"
"Wh-no, stop it! Stop it! I did this because I wanted to!"
>"Shhh... shh shh shh.... It's our society's fault for heaping all this aggression onto you. We don't blame you for snapping."

>Anon, disillusioned, turns to an honest trade and becomes a functional member of society.

> Anon gets angry in public
> Ponies back away
> Unicorn mares in white uniforms magic him away
> Gets diagnosed with testeria
> Treatment: Hoofjobs
> Anon can't decide if he wants to leave and be independent or stay and get free Hoofjobs
> Orderlies getting "friendly"
> Starts getting feelings for his therapist
> Getting harder to pretend he isn't sane
> Therapfu torn up about her romantic feelings for her patient
> Anon requests dream audit from Luna
> Declared sane
> Marries therapfu, becomes stay at home husband

I wish I had the time to write this out.

>>27372287
>And so, as the two princess sisters galloped away, giggling, they could hear Anon shouting.
"FUCKING CANUCKS! I KNEW THEY COULDN'T BE TRUSTED!"

>>27372355
You mean Harshmellow?

>>27372391
Dunno, haven't heard of it.

>>27372400
there was this green of Anon going out with Ms. Harshwhinny's sister because she was sick of listening to whiny stallions all day and Anon is pretty chill

>>27372425
Sauce?

>>27372487
shit I don't know it was in this thread a few months ago but I don't think there are actually any stories up about it. Just an idea some of us were kicking around

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>Gamer colts

>last threat
>500 replies
>8 of them is green

Just let it die already

>>27373008
>One of countless other RGRE threads is shitposting
>"Oh my god you guys, the end is near!"

>>27373008
Check the thread before that, honey

"Evil" master mind Anon was made?
Would it be Ok if i take it away from your hands?
Evil -Catwoman- like Anon?

go to bed everyone

>>27373196
I'm already in bed

>>27373196
>>27373235
I'm at work, looking for energy peaks in a test for transformators.
If i sleep, i interrupt the electrical energy from a whole city.

Can i stay awake?
Please?

>>27373311
Go to sleep, I'm sure the city doesn't need power too much anyways.

>>27372933

>Anon decides to livestream himself playing video games for fun
>mares go in expecting a colt doing sexy things for money
>instead get treated to the sight of Anon beating all their piss-easy video games

>"What do you mean, 'gets the adrenaline pumping'? Anon, adrenaline has been outlawed as a war chemical for hundreds of years! Where in Equestria did a colt like you get something as dangerous as that?"

>>27373427
>he's in your city
>power goes out and you can't internet

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>>27373531
this has potential.

>>27373531
That premise always interested me, only creatures from Earth produce adrenaline. Or at least adrenaline producing creatures being incredibly rare and usually dangerous.

>>27373531
>ponies learn that humans naturally produce adrenaline fight-or-flight situations
>they try to surgically remove Anon's adrenal glands 'for his own good'

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love the changeling

>>27373622
caress the changeling

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>>27373622
Looks like an old geezer.

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>>27373630
impregnate the changeling

create a new brood

>>27373651
>you will never grow old with your waifu

>>27373613
>>they try to surgically remove Anon's adrenal glands 'for his own good'

>pones get a first fist look at what a human totally scared for his life looks like
>many snouts have been permanently booped into their marshmallow faces that day

>>27373613
The ponies try to stop anon resisting by making him enter unconsciousness using gas.
>They in the process, trigger his flight-fight response.
>Anon escapes by ripping the tube connecting the mask on his face and the canister of gas.
>The situation escalates from there into anon escaping from the facility in an airship, fighting government agents while wearing the mask.
>He is rescued by bonbon, cause fuck lyra is annoying when people threaten her human, on another smaller airship.
>To trick the dumb ponies they leave a fake skeleton on the other airship.
>Anon says to it
"They expect one of us in the wreckage brother"
>The larger airship crashes and everyone thinks anon perished in it.

>>27373613
"I didn't realize that you were suicidal."
>"what? I didn't say anything about-
"I know, I know, you said you wanted to remove my adrenal glands but all i heard was 'kill me Anon! please kill me I want to be brutally murdered'."
>"m-maybe we should check your ear's then?"
"sure doc."
>Anon leans down to show the doctor his ear.
"go on...do it...I dare you."

>>27373751
>the skeleton whispers back.
"have we started the fire?"

"I... what do you mean, where did I get it from? I meant the stuff that your body produces."
>You'd expected Twilight to go "Oh." and for her to feel a bit silly for a few minutes; not disbelief and worry to appear on her face.
>Twilight glances left and right suspiciously, as though afraid that someone might be listening in.
>She grips both your shoulders with her hooves and looks genuinely concerned for you.
>"Anon, listen to me."
>She's speaking like one would to an especially slow-witted person.
>"Somepony's tricked you into buying something that is very, VERY dangerous and very, VERY illegal. I need you to be brave for me and tell me who's selling adrenaline, okay?"
>She holds that expression of concern for a solid five or six seconds before it breaks down entirely.
>"Was it Zecora? I'll BET it was Zecora. That zi-"
"Twilight, no. I didn't buy adrenaline from anypony, okay? I don't even know where to go to buy pony weed."
>You try to lighten the mood a little bit, but it doesn't work.
"Look, I meant as in the stuff your body produces naturally. Really."
>"Produ - Anon, your body can't just... CREATE something like adrenaline."
"Except that it totally does."
>Twilight's snootie is scrunching up a storm.
>"Except that it DOESN'T."
"No, it - it fucking DOES, Twilight."
>"Where, then? Whe-"
"The adrenal gland, Twi!"
>Twilight throws her hooves up into the air and turns away from you.
>"The adrenal gland! What ELSE is there; the salt gland? Maybe... maybe the Nightshade gland? What other impossible body parts do you have, Anon?"

>>27373791
" 'Remove his adrenal gland'? That's a really funny way of saying 'please slap me in the face as hard as you can', Twi."

>>27373751
>>27373791

>"How do I keyboard English good?"

>>27373829
>What other impossible body parts do you have, Anon?"

>Anon inhales sharply.
"MUH DICK!"
>then he twisted her teats.

>>27373856
toppest of kek, anon. my sides are in orbit.

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>>27373853

>>27373829
this could go somewhere good

>>27373874
Stop being a shit, Anon. Don't come in here, type like a nigger, and then act like you were only pretending to be retarded when someone calls attention to your shitty grasp on the English language.

>>27373751
Sounds like the origin story of Equestria's newest superhero - The Undefinable Anonymous.

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>>27373898
Fucking stop me.

>>27373898
What may I ask is wrong with those two greentexts?

>>27373853
I don't understand the problem.

>>27373912
this.
what is wrong with the green texts

>>27373912
The actual greentext was okay, I was talking about how he can't grasp basic concepts like capitalization and the usage of commas. Look around you - almost everyone on this site has grown up with computers. That Anon is either a child or is exceptionally stupid.

Given how liberally he uses his memes, I'm willing to believe the former.

And before you go on about how my autism is kicking in, proper grammar requires bare-minimum effort. It really isn't asking a lot.

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>>27373942
>>27373949

>>27373942
Yeah, i wrote that, in my defence it is currently pushing 20 minutes past five in the morning. My brain has fucked off to bed leaving my body behind.

Further more on the point of using memes; that is the only reason i made that. To give a quick laugh and inspire some joy.

>>27373972
>>27373975

Stop. You look like a fucking tool when you do that. Learn to have an actual conversation and argue against what I said like (like a grown-up)

>>27374011
he doesn't look like a tool, he looks like hes defending his work from autismus maximus.

寝る

>>27374022
All he's done is post memes about how butthurt I am.

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>>27374011
>>27374033
Fite mi irl fgt!


>>27374022
>autismus maximus
that's a new one! use'n that later.

>>27374033
probably because you are butthurt. i agree that his grammer isnt the best but he gave us some good green when their is little green on the thread.

>>27374024
>寝る
Translation:Go to bed.

>>27374072
Why do the writefags say that?

> It started out innocently enough
> Be Anon at a boring state function
> Luna is at your side, looking similarly bored
> Twilight is incredibly nervous, her mane slightly unkempt and her wings keep rustling
> You tuned out whatever civil matter was being discussed long ago
> Something about more colts in higher positions
> For some reason, you just can't keep your eyes off of Twilight Frazzle
> You murmur,
"Looks like someone could use a cuddle."
> Luna jolts to attention, trying to control her surprised expression
> "Dost thou speak of me?"
"Ah, no, sorry. I was just thinking Twilight could use some tender love and petting. Brushy brushies, you know?"
> Luna quirks an eyebrow
> "How forward. Art thou volunteering thyself for the duty?"
"Uh, sure? It's what friends do, right?"
> Luna covers her mouth with a hoof, her eyes sparkling with mirth
> "Forsooth, tis nothing but the truest duty of a compatriot. 'Tis my suggestion to thee to act upon thy inclination once this tiresome affair hath reached its end. Perhaps in some secluded site, her bedroom as an ensample."
> Sounds reasonable
"I'll take your advice. Thanks Luna."
> She nods regally, then turns her attention towards the current speaker

> After the meeting you make your way to the frazzled mare
> She's walking rather quickly, but your long legs can keep up rather easily
> Twilight looks up at your approach
> "Hello, Anon. Is there something you need?"
> You fall into step beside her
"Not really. I was just thinking that you could use some rest and relaxation."
> She chuckles
> "Don't we all. I wouldn't worry about it, I'm a strong mare, I can handle a little stress."
> You grunt, unconvinced
> She stops before a door
> "W-well, I'm going to take a nap. I'll see you around, Anon."
> Time for some grade - A friendship
"Mind if I join you?"
> She looks up at you with wide eyes
> "Wha- Y-"

>>27374056
Okay, realsies question: are you autistic? Because whenever I find someone who can't talk for shit they're either foreign or legit retarded and then I feel bad for talking shit about them.

Either way I'm done. You aren't going to change and I'm just making myself angry. By all means post a bunch more shitty gifs and screech about how you've won by out-retarding me.

>>27374085
"I could brush your mane, massage your wings, things like that. You look like you could really use a cuddle."
> Twilight's wings rise to half-mast
> She glances around nervously
> "A-are you sure? What about your reputation?"
"What, is someone saying I'm a bad cuddler? Don't worry, I'll be gentle."
> Twilight's face turns red, clearly out of embarrassment for doubting a true friend
> "If you're okay with it..."
> She opens the door and you follow her into the bedroom
> What follows changes your life
> You always knew these ponies were cute
> Little hoovsies, soft bellies, big eyes
> You were not prepared for the full range of squeaky noises they made when massaged and cuddled
> The little pawing motions they made when you snuggled up as the big spoon
> The sigh as she falls asleep, more relaxed than you have ever seen her
> This could get addicting

> Be Celestia, troubled by a crime spree
"The mares won't even talk. After they recover, they refuse to admit that a stallion over powered them. I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to investigate their dreams, dear sister."
> Luna looks uncomfortable with the prospect
> It's hard to remember how it was long ago, but even you would be uncomfortable intruding on a dream of being struggle cuddled
> You can't even imagine how it would be for your sister
> "Very well. I shall take the Royal highway in service of this investigation. No doubt I shall discover the identity of the assailant."
> You smile, comforted by her confidence
"You are a treasure, dear sister."
> Luna acknowledges the compliment with a dip of her head
> "Thee as well. If thou wilt excuse me, I shall make my preparations."
"Of course. Good luck."

>>27374081
why do fags push the dong ring meme

>>27374062
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=ButtHurt
>>butthurt
>>An inappropriately strong negative emotional response from a perceived personal insult.
i don't think you know what that word means anon

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>>27374093
nah man I'm just an asshole.

>>27374096
> Be Luna
> Thou hast painted thyself into a corner
> Thou knowest the most likely villein
> Thou set him upon this path thyself
> Nevertheless, thou shalt be thorough in thy investigations
> Far be it from thee to let some other cuddler escape justice amidst the crimes that thou hast unwittingly instigated
> Ye take that Royal road into Dreaming, and brace thyself for the lascivious scenes that do await thee

> Be Anon, walking the streets of Canterlot at night
> You sort of know that these tiny horses are embarrassed about being cuddled in public, so you try to be discreet
> It's the best if you can get them comfortable in their own home
> Other times, you bring them to a nearby hotel room
> You save those pillows for backalley cuddles

Annnnd that's all I got. For some reason, I can't continue it beyond here.

>>27374126
You picked a bad time to post. Too many autists in this thread right now

>>27374093
>Posts with questionable grammar: 2
>Posts bitching about grammar: 8
>Misc. additional posts counterbitching or otherwise discussing the grammar posts: 10

>Posts that could have been avoided if someone hadn't been a huge faggot about grammar: 19 and counting

Gee, thanks a lot. Did you actually expect us to thank you for your bitching? Were you trying to save us from the bad grammar?
Well look at what you've done.
Let this be a lesson to you. Next time you feel the need to bitch about something stupid like that, simply back away, place your thumbs in your eyeballs, and painfully kill your dumb ass self.

>>27374107
well what shoud i use? buttmad? anal attrocoty?

>>27374096
aaaaaah this is adorable

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>>27374158
Damn that was fucking savage anon.

>>27374158
>your dumb ass self
>your dumbass self
excuse you uwu

NANOMACHINES anon when?

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>>27374107
>urbandictionary
>a good source for anything

Have a snickers, mate. you're not you when you're hungry.

>>27374177
wrong general.

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>>27374126
you did well!

reverse gender roles equestria: "the nightshift" edition.

>>27374096
hhhnggg

>>27371033
Oh, its going to be a fuckin train wreak of a green, but no one else is willing to do it.

The need for the gem, wood and metal right now is because i'm writing a piece of it that comes way further down the line, as putting together bits for the middle is proving to be a bit harder then originally thought due to new ideas hitting me now and then and i don't want to write something that requires retconning. So I figured I would write out the few bits that I have clear visions on, and the fuck you is one of them.

Also to the others thanks, I'm going to have a wood interactable with magic but not working with it (this is used as a box around the "gift" to allow it to be moved by magic ponies more easily), a wood that saps in all magic that touches it, meaning nothing magic can manipulate it, metal that has much the same properties but expands itself, fitted with gems that look like shit till pumped with so much magic it could drain an alicorn.

And anon had items that even if you could use magic it would take nothing short of an absolute master to craft, even then, many months to make even one. Anon had 4 made, 3 as middle fingers, and one as a gift to a pony who helped him out.

>>27374634
>Oh, its going to be a fuckin train wreak of a green
>train wreak
Already off to a good start.

>>27374654
Good to know i'm not disappointing.

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>>27374634
>>Oh, its going to be a fuckin train wreak of a green
>train wreak
>wreak
First sentence is already gold!

>>27374654
>Train wreck
>Anon is a train robber in the mild west
>Derails trains and loots the wreckage
>Uses equestrian gag-based physics to quickly and easily knock the trains over by putting a banana peel on the track
>The first time was an accident

>>27374757
>using cartoon physics to his advantage
This is severely under utilized.

>>27373829
Well, for one a stomach that produces acid, several organs that even over the course of hundreds of years of research we know fuck all about and may as well not be there, something that makes me horney 24/7
>You pause for a moment
Oh yea, and a dick that wont quit.
>"Buck you and your 'I last more then a minute' talk"
Want to put it to the test?
>You bend down and look the defiant mare in the eyes, she wants to back down but you pushed her a bit far today
>"You know what, buck it, when you can't last more than a minute you will write a letter to everyone in ponyville you interacted with that you are a lying sack of crap"
>Is this the game we are going to play?
>It is, it really is.
>a wry smile crosses your face
Fine with me, and when you lose you will wear a had, and shirt that says 'Anons dick just wont quit' on the front with every single hole I stick it in with time spend pounding it on the back for 1 year, and you will give an interview to every single paper in equestria, in front of Celestia, about the entire experience.
>"Yea, sure, I'll get the quill and paper ready."

Anyone want to do the after math, all I request you include is a 20-30 spot stop list like a bands tour schedule shirt with creative ways to say vagina and anus possibly blowjob and hoof job too all of which was an entire 7-9 hour long session that twilight has to recount several times in front of celestia with her getting more and more into asking details.

>>27374873
your grammar is atrocious

dont stop

>>27374949
As long as the message is delivered and relatively clear, I'm happy.

>>27374802
Fuck, now I'm reminded of Villain Anon

>You halt in your tracks at the chained fence in front of you, the friction created by your heels replicating sounds of car tires skidding
>"It's the end of the line, Incognito! You have no where else to run!"
>Hah, as if
>Time for some good ol' fashioned rusing
>You turn towards the ponice and place your hands behind your back
"Oh? Officers, I would like to think so otherwise. Tell me, ladies. Do you believe in the art of...ascension?"
>Their ears perk up
>"You mean, like becoming an alicorn?"
"No, actually. You see, we have came a long way through evolution, and have made many breakthroughs with it. I have to applaud the bravery of the first pony to ever attempt flying. What if their newly-developed wings never worked? What if, they just plummeted towards the cliff? An ambitious spirit, desiring freedom in the skies drove them to that. Quite the astounding feat."
>"W-What are you talking about?! You're just stalling your capture!"
"HA-HAH! OR SO YOU WOULD BELIEVE! FOR I, ANO-I MEAN INCOGNITO-"
>You reach into your pockets and pull out a balloon
"WILL ASCEND TODAY!"
>Taking in a huge breath, you blow into the rubber contraction, it's size increasing exponentially by the second until it reaches your own stature
>"He's trying to escape! Get him!"
>The ponicemares rush towards you, trying to grab hold of you, but it's too late
>For them
>Taking a huge leap into the air, you are lifted off your feet and over the stumbling horses as you begin to gain altitude
"Ohoho, Better luck next time, ladies!"

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>>27374802
>Anon have powers of a cartoon character.
So basically he's "just" Pinkie Pie, Discord and a perverted /b/tard in one person.

>>27375121
Everyone has cartoon character powers.
Anon just is more willing to exploit them.
>There's a cart race in ponyville
>Applejack has a normal cart
>Rainbow dash has a sleek lightweight cart
>Pinkie has a wind-up spring powered clowncar
>Twilight built an internal combustion engine based off what she read from Anon's books
>Anon taped a boombox to the back of his cart and wins by going faster than sound
>He decided against using a lamp, maybe he'll go with that next time if Dash steps up her racing game and pulls of a sonic rainboom

>>27375035
kek
got a mary poppins vibe for some reason

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>>27374873
I have to have more of this!

>>27153036
>You'd better fuck that horse, Anon.
Haven't written clop in some time so might as well. (Warning: it's going to be bad)

>”You likin’ the drink darling?”
>The two of you have been drinking for about an hour now.
>You don’t know how strong the drinks are supposed to be, but you’ve probably gone through a bottles of ‘harder stuff’
“They’re alright. Tastes good, but I prefer something stronger.”
>”Stronger? I mean, you sure? Harder stuff doesn’t taste good, sweetie.”
“If I wanted to drink something tasty, I wouldn’t be drinking booze.”
>You down the light blue drink, while your partner sips on a dark looking thing.
>”Geeze, fine. Here try this.”
>She pours out a dark drink like hers. Looks like translucent coffee.
>You down it in one go. It tastes interesting but not strong.
>”Go ahead and lie down, if you feel light headed.”
>You actually hope you would feel light headed.
“Jesus, Wheel. You’re a real light weight you know that?”
>”Me?! Babe you just watch, I’m warning you for your own good.”
“What is this stuff? Like 20 proof?”
>”Fine, since you want to be such a mare. I got some really strong stuff down in the garage.”
“Great, what are we waiting for?”
>You put your glass down and get up.

>>27375505

>”Hold up darling, I need a minute.”
>Wheel gets out of her chair, stumbling about a little.
>She staggers to your feet, and leans against your leg.
“Geeze, want me to carry you?”
>”You’re a real prize. I’ll walk it off, let’s go.”
>You start walking at a reasonable pace, while you’re not drunk or even buzzed, you can feel it.
>Spoked on the other hand, is having a hard time standing up.
>You start walk halfway down the stairs, while spoked looks down in confusion and horror.
“Just follow my hand.”
>She does as she’s told, and slowly but surely starts walking down the steps while you lead her.
>Without too much trouble, the two of you get down the stairs.
>”Gimme a minute darling.”
>Spoked stumbles into a room close to the stairwell.
>She comes a moment later looking much more normal, and doesn’t stumble at all.
>”Now, come with me. Let’s get the good stuff.”
>The two of you walk through the door, into the shop.
>Your car is parked right in the center, with the moonlight gleaming off its red exterior.
>Wheel lights some lamps.
>”Righto, darling.”
>She opens a metal cabinet, and pulls out a bottle.
>”I got more bottles, but we’re only gonna need one.”
>Moments later the two of you have gone through 3 bottles and you’re feeling buzzed.
>Spoked is sitting on a chair across from you, while you’re leaning back in reclining chair.
>”Ya, the’n this crazy mare right, right she fuckin crashed her carriage right into the barn.”

>>27375508

>You laugh at whatever she’s talking about, you’re not too sure.
>”Anyway... That was the las time the apples built that barn ‘gain.”
>She laughs a bit more. You take another swig from your bottle.
>”I’m outta, again.”
>Spoked gets up from her chair, and stumbles on the first step.
>She lands on you, with her hooves on your legs, and her head between.
>She laughs for a second, and reaches a wing up which you hand the bottle.
>She takes a gulp, before dropping it.
>”Damn, babe you emptied it.”
>The two of you lay there for a while, you wish for another bottle.
>You feel Wheel crawl up your leg and chest, to be face to face with you.
>She looks drunkenly at you, and you probably do the same.
>Without a word she drops her head, locking lips with you.
>You’re surprised at first, but being drunk you don’t think and just accept it.
>Despite her drunken state, she’s gentle with her smooth tongue.
>Exchanging a minute of a drunk kiss, she eventually moves her head away.
>She has her tongue out, a small trail of spit follows it to yours.
>You raise your eyebrow at her, and she laughs back.
>”Shut up. Let this mare take care of ya, just lay there darling.”
“Y’know, I did think about this.”
>You can’t deny that, you weren’t sure at first, but you definitely had the thought.
>”You and me both.”
>She tries to use her hooves to undo your pants, but the button doesn’t yield.
>You reach down and do it for her; she takes it from there, lowering your clothing.
>The two of you lock lips again.
>This time you take charge, and you can feel her fight for control.
>You feel her grind on you; you can feel two small nubs rubbing on you.
>Feeling your member harden, she changes her angle of attack, and you feel wetness on your cock.
>She slides herself over your shaft, coating you in a warm thick fluid.
>You still engage in your tongue tango, but force your hips to rub against hers.

>>27375514

>Eventually she pulls away from her kiss, and looks down on her handy work.
>Moving to the side, she looks at your cock standing proud.
>”Damn sweetie.”
>She whispers, before rubbing your glans with her hoof.
>It feels better than you’d thought.
>”You e’er take an eye out with that?”
“What kinda question is that?”
>”It’s pointy.”
>You laugh at her stupid observation.
“Hey, Eyes are just two extra holes.”
>She laughs, while raising and hovering her rump over your erect penis.
>You think her clit moves, but you’re probably drunk.
>She rubs herself over your head, and slides it over one last time.
>You exhale and clench your teeth.
>”Tell me if I’m too much for you sweetie.”
>She slowly lowers herself, taking your whole cock inside herself.
>Both of you audibly breathe in together, you realize she’s blushing.
>You’re sure you feel her insides moving, something twitches at the base of your cock.
>”Mffff, damn you gave it like a pro.”
“What’s that supposed to mean? Not like my job is hard.”
>”I’d say that’s all your job is.”
>You feel insulted at that.
“Nice. 10/10. Lost my sides. Lost my keys. Lost my job.”
>”Ok, ok. Sorry, geeze”
>She laughs a bit more, before raising herself and coming down again.
>You shudder at that.
>The position is a bit awkward for her, her face is on your shoulder, but her back arks over let to her rump be on your pelvis.
>You rise in your seat, so she’s more of a sitting position, she adjusts according.
>She gives a light moan, and starts a slow pace of movement.
>Rising up about a quarter of the way, then coming down again.
>Each time she breaths a bit into your ear, you do the same in her ear.
>You feel pleasure all through you.
>She’s a vice, you can feel her insides adjusting to every move.
>Like the time you made a flesh light tighter by using an oil filter wrench.

>>27375517

>You hope you’re not hurting her, though if you where she wouldn’t be moving as quickly as she is.
>Soon enough she really picks up the pace, rising up, and letting herself fall down.
>Better than any fleshlight you’ve ever used. Including the oil-filter wrench one. You feel the tingly feeling in you.
>”Mffff, fuck.”
>Wheel struggles against something, but doesn’t slow down.
>She tries rocking her hips and straitening her legs.
>You put your hands under her wings, helping her keep her rhythm.
>She moans more and her breathing becomes more and more erratic.
>You look into her eyes, and force her to pick her pace.
>She’s very light weight, you can move as you please.
>You take total control of her, but you don’t think she minds.
>She breaths in short sets, and she moans and huffs often.
>Keeping eyes on her, she looks you back, clenching teeth struggling.
>You quicken to a pace that you start to think may be dangerous, she lets out squeaks each time you bring her down.
>”D-darling! H-he-hey slow do-down, babe. Anon!”
>She’s almost begging you, but you don’t.
>She squeaks again, and goes wide eyed.
>You forcefully kiss her, she moans in your mouth.
>You feel her clench too hard to move around you, opening your eyes you see hers have rolled back.
>Stopping the kiss, you cradle her head as she rides her orgasm.
>You feel your entire crotch soak in fluid.
>Eventually she comes down form her high, and lays on your chest breathing heavily.
>Her eyes are closed for a second, but she soon opens them.
>You look her in the eyes smiling.
>She immediately blushes and looks away.
>”S-sorry, I usually last-“
>You cut off whatever she was saying by kissing her again.
“Still haven’t had mine, Wheel.”

>>27375522

>She bites her lips, and kisses again.
>She rises off your cock, turns herself around.
>”Don’t worry, sweetie. I’ll treat you right.”
>You recline again; her face is buried in your crotch. And yours in hers.
>You’ve never done this before, but how hard can it be?
>Your partner takes half your cock in one go, and bobs up and down steadily.
>Starting to lick the area around her clit, you realize it really does move.
>Every couple of seconds, her button pops out and recedes again.
>You now focus on this, almost suckling on it.
>Wheel is once again, struggling, moving her legs and almost thrashing.
>She picks up her pace, trying to work as hard as she can.
>You can feel the pressure building in you, and you’re sure your partner can feel herself too.
>Racing to see who gets whom first.
>You stick your tongue inside of her, and lick towards her clit.
>She in response, creates a vacuum in her mouth, and sucks harder.
>She’s really close you know it, she’s about accepted defeat judging by her slowing pace.
>But you’re really close too, and you don’t want to waste.
>You stop, and force her off your cock.
>”Wah! What are ya doing?”
>You don’t respond, and instead quickly stand up, placing her back to the chair.
“WELCOM TO MR ANONS WILD RIDE!”
>Lining up your cock, you immediately thrust into her.
>”Damn!”
“RACERS! START YOUR ENGINES!”
>You lean down and kiss her, while vigorously working her.
>You reach down to your pockets, and get your car FOB, and push the button with an IO on it.
>The cars lights turn on; your partner reacts in shock.
>”Ahhh! Slow down! What are you doing?”
>You hear the starter motor turn a few times, and then the 300,000 km engine starts up like it’s still 50,000 km.
>The sound of the 2.0 liter is music to your ears.

>>27375527

>Using the sound of the engine, you pace yourself pistoning into your friend.
>You grab the base of her wings for leverage, you sincerely hope it doesn’t hurt her.
“VROOM! VROOM!”
>Without much time, you feel yourself about to burst.
>”Celestia! Shoulda never put my clam around crazy!”
“This is the future you chose!”
>”I-knOW!”
>You’re not sure what happens after that, as your mind blanks out for a half second.
>All you feel is pleasure, and hear the sound of your car.
>You wake up to a panting manager, and the slick feeling of sweat.
>Your crotch is coated in both of your fluids, the smell of emissions in the air.
>You pull out, and a small stream of fluid flows out of her.
>Kneeling down, you gently kiss Spoked.
>No fighting, no competition.
>You pull away; she gives you the sincerest smile you’ve seen from her.
>”Should we be done?”
“One more drink?”
>Walking with your pants around your legs.
>the two of you stumble back, to the wine cabinet.
>You grab a bottle, and sit down right there.
>Wheel stumbles into your embrace, and opens the bottle with her teeth.
>She takes a gulp from your hand, though spills some.
>”Still hard? If only all colts would.”
>You drink a small glass worth in a sip.
“I can see you still dripping, glass houses, something, stones.”
>”It’s not that late, yknow?”
>She kisses you again, and the two of you get right back to work.
>Neither of you remember when you fall asleep.
>Once you’ve danced your sweet routine, it reeks of wine and gasoline.

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>>27375533
http://pastebin.com/Z8MTmJeD
That's that for that story, now for Ivan.

>”So you’re saying you didn’t poison them?”
“дa.”
>”And that it is just a drink?”
“дa.”
>”And can we see this drink?”
“Heт, Ivan drank it all.”
>”So you’re all out?”
“Heт. Ivan always carry many bottles!”
>”So can we have some?”
“дa.”
>”Send this to the lab to be tested. All right Ivan. Let’s start at the beginning.”
>”Where are you from?”
“Ivan already say! Ivan soldier of motherland!”
>”This motherland have a name, Ivan!?”
“дa, дa. Russia, Ivan from Móлoтoв, town on Peкa Кaмa. Пepмь, now.”
>”Alright, get intelligence on finding the place.”
>>”Copy that.”
>”Why did you come to ponyville, Ivan?”
“Ivan not chose, Ivan woke up in forest.”
>”You expect me to believe that?! You just woke up?!”
“дa.”
>”Ivan you better give me something or I charge you with the attempted murder!”
“Charge Ivan with whatever you want! Ivan man of honor! Ivan not poison!”
>”Fine! You stay here until you have something else to share!”
> CУКA HORSES HOLD IVAN ALL DAY.
>IVAN PROMICED STAY IF THEY DO NOT TAKE IRINUSHKA OR PUT IVAN IN JAIL.
>MAYBE IVAN NOT MAKE PROMICES.
>>>”Hello Ivan.”
>WHO IS NEW HORSE? CUTE SMILE ON FACE AND SMELL OF WILD FLOWER.
>>>”I’m Chamomile. I’m just going to ask you somethings, ok?”
“Ivan have nothing else to say to horses. Talk like wheel on tank, round and round and round.”
>>>”Heh… Well, I’m going to ask about before the night, ok?”
“дa.”

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>>27375556

>HOW LONG IVAN TALK FOR?!
>HORSE SWEET LIKE TULA GINGERBREAD OR IVAN WOULD NOT TALK LONG.
>>>”Did you go to the bar alone?”
“Heт, мaмeнькин cынoк horses take Ivan. Say ‘Ivan we drink!’ they not tell me drink weak like product of Chinese slave labor.”
>>>”Mmm, go on.”
“Ivan ask for stronger drink. мaмeнькин cынoк horses happy with weak drink. Ivan remember Ivan have vodka. Ivan find best drinker in house, offer taste of motherland.”
>>>”Then what happened, Ivan?”
>HORSE SMILE SWEET LIKE MOTHER. IVAN NOT COMFORTABLE.
“Orange horse and gay pride horse stand up and say they best drinker. I offer drink; they think they can take it. Vodka humble ‘best drinker’”
>>>”Ah… So what is this ‘vodka’ made of?”
“Surplus potato stomped to mush then put into barrel and left in bomb cellar.”
>>>”Potatoes? Ivan you do know that potatoes are poisonous right?”
>HORSE BEING OF CONCERNED. IVAN DO NOT WANT TO BE MEAN TO HORSE.
“Heт! Potato is main diet of motherland! Potato bread, potato pie, potato soup, potato stew and potato drink! It feed much generation!”
>>>”Is that so?”
“дa.”
>>>”Ivan, what is your job?”
“Ivan soldier of motherland.”
>>>”Oh! A soldier, you must travel a lot.”
“дa but only with army. Ivan not like to, smell of horses, diesel and sweat not nice. Hardly smell nice things, like you.”
>>>”Ah-ha… Th-thank you.”
>WHY HORSE TURN RED AT COMPLIMENT? MAYBE IVAN NOT SAY THAT, SHE COLOR OF ANGER.
>>>”I-I’ll be back Ivan. Don’t worry, I’m sure this all will be cleared up.”
>IVAN GLAD IVAN ALONE AGAIN. WILD FLOWER SMELL DRIVING IVAN CRAZY!
>HOW LONG IT BEEN?
>2 BOTTLES! дa BEEN NOT THAT LONG.
>”Alright, you!”

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>>27375560

“дa? What horse want now?”
>”Since you’ve done nothing to help our case!”
>>>”Fetlock please! We promised we wouldn’t put him in a cell!”
>”Circumstances have changed, Chamo. We can’t treat a potential murderer different, just because he’s a stallion.”
“Ivan was told he would not go to cell! You cyкa have no honor!”
>”I don’t care Ivan.”
>IRINUSHKA TELLING IVAN TO SHSIKEBAB HORSE! BUT IVAN NOT WANT TO HURT FLOWER HORSE!
>”Ivan! You are under arrest under suspicion of murder!”
“Ivan come peacefully. But Ivan will not stay.”
>”Yea, yea whatever you crazy colt.”
>>>”Ivan! I promise I’ll get you out of there!”
>”Chamo! Get away from him! He could be dangerous!”
>>>”He’s not dangerous! He’s just lost!”
>”Don’t believe a stallions lies Chamo! You’re young, you’ll learn. Put him into a mare holding cell.”
>>>”NO!”
>”Corporeal Chamomile! Into my office!”
>IVAN PUSHED INTO CELL, DARK CELL.
>HOPE FLOWER HORSE IS OK.
>>”Looky here ladies. A stallion did something naughty and ended up in the mare cell.”
>CУКA! MORE HORSES IN CELL! IT IS LIKE IVAN CURSED TO LISTEN TO HORSES FOR ALL LIFE!
>>>>”Oh shut your pie hole! No one buys that.”

>>27375564

>>”Ah, you’re no fun.”
>>>”We’re the Dusk sisters. Do everything together, got caught together too.”
>>”But we dindu nuffin. The ponice is just bearin down on the bat folk.”
>BIRD HORSES! HORN HORSES! NORMAL HORSES AND NOW BAT HORSES?!
>>>”Don’t worry about Midnight. I’m Aurora the oldest, that’s Twilight, no she ain’t a princess of any kind. And that’s Candlelight, the youngest. She might be a princess; we don’t know she never talks.”
>AHH MAKE IT STOP!
“DA! Ivan not care for family photo. Ivan thinking of getting out of here.”
>>”Woah, a snappy colt. Whatcha in for sweety?”
“Ivan on false accusation of attempting to kill people! Ivan did not of try and kill anyone.”
>>”O-oh… Attempted murder…”
>>>>”HAHA! Nice one Ivan, You scared Midi! So what are you really in for Ivan?”
“Ivan of not joking.”
>>>>”Oh… D-did-did you do it?”
“HET IVAN INNOCENT!”
>>>>”o-ok! Don’t hurt me!”
>>>”Come on girls. We were put in here for something we didn’t do. We know how you feel Ivan.”
>”Dinner! Eat up!”
>SOME HORSE WITH ARMOR PUT ONE BREAD AND BUCKET OF WATER IN JAIL.
“How we all eat on one bread guard horse?!”
>”They don’t. This is for you. Now eat up.”
>>>”Don’t worry Ivan. We’re not hungry we haven’t been here long.”
>BAT HORSE IS LYING.
>LITTLE SISTER LOOKING AT BREAD LIKE JEW AT GOLD.
“NEYT! Ivan share with horses!”
>>>”Really?”
“Da! Help self, Ivan still thinking of how to leave.”
>GRILL WINDOW MAYBE BREAK.
>IT DARK OUTSIDE, LEAVING EASY, BUT HOW GET OUT?
>SOMETHING HOLDING IVANS LEG
“What is it?”
>LITTLE SISTER BAT HORSE IS RUBBING IVAN LEG, SMILING LIKE CHILD.
>MAYBE SHE IS CHILD.
>CУКA! IVAN HEART NOT OF STONE.
>IVAN NEED HORSE TO STOP! IVAN DO NOT HAVE INSULINE RATION CARD!
“дa, мaлeнькaя мышь go eat. Ivan thinking of how to leave.”

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>>27375572

>>>”Come here Candle. Let Ivan do whatever he’s doing.”
“How do bat horses leave?”
>>>”Hmm? Usually bats parents go searching for missing kids and end up here one way or another.”
>>”Then they make ‘em pay and we can go.”
>>>>”It’s never happened to us. I-I don’t know if Daddy can get-“
>>>”Shh!” We’ll be fine Twi.”
“What if Ivan put hole in wall? Would guard horse know where to find you?”
>>>”That’s one good thing about being a bat. They don’t bother documenting us. So no.”
“дa. Did horse eat bread?”
>>>”We left some for you.”
“Eat it. Then cover ears.”
>>”What are you going to do.”
“Ivan not do anything. Iri want to though.”
>>>”What?”
>*BOOM*
>HAHA IRI! KICK LIKE MULE!
“HAHA! WALL CRUMBLE LIKE BERLIN-“
>That not funny…
>Ivan stares into nothing for half a minute.
“Never mind.”
>>>”Alright girls through the hole!”
>HORSES GO THROUGH, IVAN FOLLOW!
>”THEY’RE GETTING AWAY!”
>CУКA! ALARMS OF SOUNDING!
“GO HORSES! RUN! FLY! GO!”
>”GET THE RIOT CONTROL!”
>LITTLE HORSE HOLDING ONTO IVAN!
“It is good little horse! Ivan will find you later!”
>”DAMN BATS! PROBABLY BROKE THAT STALLION OUT!”
>>>”Come on Candlelight!”
>>>>”Thank you Ivan!”
>>”You’re a cool colt Ivan. We’ll pay you back someday, the Dusk sisters never forget!”
>>>>”SHUT UP MIDI!”
“IVAN STAY! IVAN DISTRACT GUARD! RUN BAT HORSES! FASCISTS COMING! RUN!”
>”THE STALLION GOT AWAY! HE’S RUNNING”
>>”WHAT ABOUT THE BATS?!”
>”FORGET THEM! THEY’LL BE BACK! GET THE COLT!”
>IVAN RUN LIKE FRENCH MAN RUNNING FROM GERMANS!

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>>27375576

> CУКA! WHERE IS IVAN?!
>IT DARK LIKE AFRICAN LIGHT BULB FACTORY!
>IVAN HEAR FASCISTS IN THE DISTANCE! THEY WILL NEVER GET IVAN!
>HOPE THEY DO NOT GET BAT HORSES, LITTLE ONE TOO YOUNG FOR FASCISM!
>AH! BARRLES! MAYBE HAVE VODKA!
> нeт, ONLY FLOUR!
> дepжaть! WHAT IS SOUND? мaлeнькaя мышь SQUEEKING?
“мaлeнькaя мышь! WHERE IS мышь!?”
>”Mmmm.”
“нeт мышь! DO NOT CRY! IVAN COMING!”
>IT DARK LIKE SOUL OF CAPITALIST! IVAN NEED BURNING BUILDING OR FASCIST BOMB TO SEE!
>”Mmm!”
” дa! мышь! IVAN SEE мaлeнькaя мышь! COME TO IVAN мaлeнькaя мышь!”
>>”Not so fast!”
>CУКA! IS JAIL HORSE!
>>”Sorry to break this little reunion, truly a heart aching event. But you colt, are coming with me. And you get out of here.”
>IRI SAY IVAN SHOOT FASCIST NOW! BUT IVAN DO NOT WANT TO SCARE мaлeнькaя мышь.
>>”Good thing bats are dumb. Dumb little thing just followed after you, or it would have been harder to track you down. Not that stallion are any smarter.”
“CУКA LEAVE! IRI HAS ITCH TRIGGER!”
>>”Yea yea, whatever you say you weirdo. Anyway, you’re under arrest, just put these cuffs-“
>OH NO! мaлeнькaя мышь STANDING IN FRONT OF FASCIST!
>>”Get out the way kid.”
“мaлeнькaя мышь! DO NOT GET IN WAY! YOU WILL OF HURT!”
>”HMmmm!”
>>”Listen kid. I’m like three times your size, puffing your cheeks isn’t gonna make you bigger.”
“GO HOME мышь! THIS IS PLACE OF ADULT!”
>”Hmm hmm!”
>>”You’re trying my patients kid. Get out of the way.”
>”Mmmh!”

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>>27375586

>>”I said MOVE!”
“мaлeнькaя мышь! DO NOT HIT!”
>CУКA HURT мышь!
>>”I told the kid to move. Hey what are you!”
>*CLANKER*
>>”HEY PUT THAT DOWN!”
>*CLASH*
>>”NO! I’M SORRY!”
>*CHICKEN NOISE*
“CHEEKI BREEKI!”
>*BAFF*
>*THUD*
> дa! That is done.
“ARE YOU OK мaлeнькaя мышь! DID FASCIST HORSE HURT YOU?!”
>*HOOVES CLAPPING*
“Ivan happy, you are OK, мaлeнькaя мышь. Come, Пoйдeм.”
> мышь HOLD IVAN LIKE PARENT.
“NO мaлeнькaя мышь! DO NOT OF KISS IVAN! IVAN NOT TAKE SHOWER IN…”
>How many year it been?
>”Mmmmm…”
“дa, мaлeнькaя мышь. Let go of home.”
>>”Candle! Candlelight!”
>>>”Midi! Look over there! Candlelight!”
“It sound of sister looking for мышь.”
>Little мышь face soft like fur coat of dog.
>But warm like afternoon sun in summer.
>>>>”CANDLELIGHT!”
>>>”Can’t find her anywhere, should we go home?!”
>>”We’re not going home without Candle!”
“Bat horses! Ivan have мaлeнькaя мышь! Ivan here!”
>>”Ivan! Where are you!”

File: Luna shooting an SKS while laughing, and Celestia Twilight and Cadence watch.png (1MB, 2124x1200px) Image search: [Google]

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>>27375592


“Over here! дa мaлeнькaя мышь launch flare! Good idea!”
*BANG*
*WHISTLE*
>>>”Over there! Midi!”
>>”Candlelight! I was so worried! I’m sorry I lost you.”
>At least bat horse cry with legitimate pain.
>>>>”Thanks for all the help, Ivan. We owe you a lot.”
>”FIRE!” (Distant voice)
>CУКA! Flare supposed to burn out before touching ground!
>Who built garbage flare that cannot of follow simple instructions!
>’Izhevsk Mechanical Plant’.
>Oh.
>>”You alright Ivan?”
“дa! EVERYTHING FINE! LET’S GO!”
>*Sirens in the distance*
>>>”What’s the hurry!”
“Time for go!”
>>”Alright Ivan, let’s go home.”
>>>>”I don’t know, Midi. I don’t think dad will like us bringing home a colt.”
>*Sirens get louder*
“Maybe we go now?”
>>”He’ll be fine, besides Candle likes him.”
>*Fire ponies screaming in the distance*
>>>”You’ve got a point for once midi.”
>>>>”I don’t know, but ok.”
“Good decisions! Time of go!”
>Ivan and friends going in the distance, while a fire lights their backs.
*BANG*
>”MY LEG!” (Distant voice)
“FASTER!”

And that's that. http://pastebin.com/e9v4weHs

>>27375533
VROOM VROOM
>>27375592
Old but good

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>>27375533
>TFW the car this story is built around is now dead.
>TFW i have furthered lowered my chances of outrunning cop carriages with waifu. And maybe daughtaru ;^)

That car served me and my family for 12 years, Canadian winter and salt took her away from me. She ran till the day she was towed.

Anyone have any experience with dodge dakotas? I found a pretty cheap one that's 4x4 and packing a 4.7 liter v8. If i can find it, i would probably prefer a F-250 with power stroke v8 or maybe even Duratec packing GM. I like diesel.

>>27375599
I went to a Professional Engineers of Ontario conference, and met a engineer who i think of whenever i think of Ivan. He embodied every Ivan stereotype i could think of.

/End blog.

>>27375602
>Old but good
Everything I've done is old now, man.

>>27375631
>Everything I've done is old now, man.
The problem is that you don't write enough.
If you write us a story each week or even month then only some of your stories will be old.

>>27375631
I don't suppose you're familiar with windshield wipers? I bottomed out on a logging road, and now my cherokee's wipers won't stop wiping.

>>27375599
Пиздeц, чyвaк.

>>27375121
well i just realised anon is green, so he could be wearing the mask which gives him cartoonpowers! it makes sense!

>>27375665
>won't stop wiping.
Does it just always wipe at max speed? Or stuck on a speed? Or can you change speed but just not stop wiping?
My thinking is a minor short circuit. Alternatively a damaged switch somewhere.

Try finding the windshield wiper circuit diagram for your specific car. You should probably find it in the service manual which is usually free online.

Inspect the parts on the diagram.

Good luck

>>27375679
Translators turned up nothing.

>>27375637
So the start point of a story is of little relevance, rather the update date is what is judged?

Well, I ain't been here in awhile. In about 8 months
Any stories y'all niggas recommend?

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>>27375714
>Translators turned up nothing.
[i'm emotionally overwhelmed]
>>27375764
>mfw all that are left are shy writefags and everyone is too shy to shill
Frosty did a Cutealoo http://pastebin.com/swpuxdDV

>>27375572
>IVAN NEED HORSE TO STOP! IVAN DO NOT HAVE INSULINE RATION CARD!

RIP my sides.

Got off a ban a little while ago, this is what I wanted to post back then, but was unable to. I think the idea is strong enough to go on its own legs if someone wants to take it.

>>27314026
>>27314040
Personally I would make twilight jaded as fuck. Her past self, the one we see in the opening, didn't care about the friends she had and was always in a book so if there was talk behind her back she never realised it.

Once she became princess, all the ponies she thought were her friend (besides main 6 and some others) changed completely in their attitude toward her. And its not just some "should I bow" shit, it's like they never knew her from the start, and it dawns on her, they didn't. They were friendly toward a hero, they were friendly toward the princesses student, not friendly toward the pony twilight sparkle.

On a separate but related note

In comes anon, they are at the very least on friendly terms with each other, then something happens that snapps twilight out of her jaded stupor of not letting people close once she realizes that anon knows her better than anyone else ever has or even has tried.

>yfw Amphetanon is kill and we will never see Dadnon and Twi adventures

>>27376379
Dude came back a thread or to ago, apparently shits going down by them and they are back burnering the story.

He ain't dead yet.

----------------

Got a question of my own.

Twilight gets a letter announcing the arrival of what should be a threat, but isn't, and they never act in a way that would be a threat. She is explicitly told that you do not touch them or hell will rain down on you.

Does she or her friends fuck up?
Or do they honor the message and let it go?

Finally to sleep!!
Begining energy fag reporting in.
Everything went well.
Nobody got their energy interrupted.
Mission Accomplished
Tell my waifu that i expect the lawn mowned, the dishes washed and something ordered by 12 pm, like pizza or something.

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>>27375572
>LITTLE SISTER LOOKING AT BREAD LIKE JEW AT GOLD

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>>27376497
>LITTLE SISTER LOOKING AT BREAD LIKE JEW AT GOLD
Russian and bathorse are meant for together

First bugs and now bat homos.

I am still accepting names for highborn colts.
The faster I get one, the sooner I can get this update out.

>>27376953
Horace

...i got nothing else

im not good with horse puns

>>27376953
Ernesto Curmedgeonly-Frewwit IV
High Life
Old Bean
Poppy Cock
Richie Rich
Von Count
Steel Fist
Velvet Glove
Deep Pockets
Bulging Moneybags

>>27376953
>Coin Purse
His cutie mark sack of money in a particular shape.

>Alabaster von Shaft
The von Shafts are known to provide good breeders, strong, potent, etc, but while their stallions look physically imposing they're known drama kings.

>>27377042
Now this is what I was looking for. Thank you.

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>>27377050

>>27377042
both of these are good

>>27377091
But what if they were one? Coinpurse Von Shaft, the most phalic of the noble ponies.

>>27377161
That's their son.

>>27377161
So rich he literally jizzes money and so prissy that his oversized cock smells of lavender and springtime

>>27377161
a name that sounds more pompous than blueblood

literally anything he says is in innuendo

and he doesent even know it

>>27377185
And he refuses to admit to it being an innuendo. Breeding may be a family duty, but it is a base activity and not something to be indulged in. Once a high class stallion has done his duty, he should be free to spend his time looking good and doing charity work.

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I want to molest Celestia in public when no one is looking and have her be too embarrassed to call out Luna for help.
Then I'm going to do the same to Luna.

Then I'm going go eat with Cadance and Shining Armor and I'm going to molest her under the table without Shining's knowledge.
Then I'm going to do the same to Shining.


Then I'm going to go boop Twilight's nose in front of all Ponyville and have her explode into spaghetti.

>>27377208
>Once a high class stallion has done his duty, he should be free to spend his time looking good and doing charity work.

which led to the rumor that he''s just a one pump chump

or a REALLY sensitive hair trigger

>>27377227
One look at his dick and he'll be spraying it thick.

>>27377231
The Von Shafts are for breeding, not for pleasure. You get tons of great foals from them, but if you want a fun time you'll have to go elsewhere.

>>27377227
>>27377208
>>27377231
>>27377268
Herding with a Von Shaft is like owning a classic Jaguar. It's more about status and looks than anything else. Sure, when its time for it to perform it can post some solid numbers but the amount of maintenance it takes to keep it on the road, to say nothing of what it takes in between each hard race, ensures that only the wealthy can afford one.

So we can expect Luna to give birth to both a literal and metaphorical dick of a colt next update?

>>27377344
What? I have no clue where you got that idea.

>>27377344
Son, that's not the worst DC check I've ever seen rolled but it's not far off.

>>27377384
Int and Wis are known dump stats for anons.

>>27377344
It's obviously one of Venus's suitors, duh.
>>27377362
GIVE HER A SISTER

>>27377418
>>27377231
"So, how was your date love?"
>"Meh."
"That good, huh?"
>"Well, he's good looking, and he's got the biggest cock in. . . ever. I mean, I could take shelter under that thing."
"Nowhu?"
>"Venus! You are far too young to be se-"
>"Oh, that's the best part. I just looked at him and he blew everywhere."
>"Oh, that is unfortunate."
>"I know! I mean, I get stallions aren't going to last as long as /other species/. But still."
"Other spec-"
>"Indeed. We consider ourselves quite fortunate in that regard."
>"I know. Believe me, I know. Speaking of, I've been looking into extra-dimensional summing spells. Wanna help?"
>"Excellent! Let us abscond to the mare cave."
"No, wait, but I. . ."

>>27377498
>>27377462
>Summing spells
>Maths magic
>They're trying to build a computer using magic instead of transistors
>One day they hope to recreate the global porn machine that Anon spoke of from his homeworld

>>27377498
>>27377516
>Venus and Luna are wearing Anon jock straps on their heads
>human doll hooked up to some calipers leading into a summoning crystal
Weird Magic

>>27377553
Luna wears it because she loves the smell on Anon's crotch.
Venus is the same, but she won't admit it.

>>27377592
>Anon is confused that, even in a land with no driers, he still loses socks and underwear to the laundry.
"This is why I go commando half the time, damnit."

>>27377592
>Luna wears it because she loves the smell on Anon's crotch.
>Venus is the same, but she won't admit it.
I found this more arousing than I'm willing to admit.

>>27377777
Luna is my mommy

inb4 quintposters

>>27377777
Poor Venus
gifted with human stamina and deprived of anyone who can keep up with her

>>27377807

>Venus goes to EqG Earth to find a human boyfriend who can keep up with her.

>>27377813
>Eqg is actually a conctructed dimension and the hewmons there are just an imperfect projection of humans onto pony.
>They are absolutely no better.

>>27377777
Quints confirm for canon. Venus likes the smell of Anon's crotch.

>>27377937

>There is an alternate version of Venus and Anon as well
>They are both terrible at sex too.

>>27375556
>>27375560
>>27375564
>>27375572
>>27375576
>>27375586
>>27375592
>>27375599
Great story you bacteria. Have a song.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7DljgSrTbNE

>>27377498
>Keep on summoning alternate dimension Anons who are also Venus dads
> Get scolded every time

>>27372334
Wow, this is exactly like Swedens view on immigrants!

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>>27377998
я aж cлeзy пycтил

>>27378356
onlyw ithout the functioning member of society kek

>>27378150
>"Didn't your dad tell you not to pull versions of him from alternate realities, little missy? And fuck, he got to marry Luna? Damn, all I got was the wonderbolts captain."
"As long as she is happy with you and you are happy with her, you shouldn't be complaining."
>"I know, and stop trying to change the subject, Venus."
"Yes daddy who's not Daddy."

>>27378746

>Anon got stuck with Spitfire
>Who is canonically kind of a bitch along with the rest of the Wonderbolts

I pity that version of him.

I feel sorry for that version of them

>>27378813
At least it's not the version who got back together with Cadence after she married Shining. That version is a cuck beyond saving.

>>27378746
>"Ha! I managed both the Royal Sisters AND the Changeling Queen."
>"Wow, good job. So, are you from here or. . ?"
"Ugh. Daddy-19999 this is Daddy-1610. Daddy-1610, it's not polite to brag. Also, neither of you is Daddy-616."
>"Yeah, I know, I know. But, c'mon, I really knocked it out of the park."
>"Man, those numbers seem really familiar. Where did you come up with them, love?"
>"Now that you mention it, yeah, those are strangely specific numbers."
"I dunno, they just sorta came to me. Now hold on, Agamotto and Cyttorak are aligning and I want to get you two back home. "
"Celestia knows if I accidentally summon another of you the smell will throw me into heat."
>"What was that last bit?"
>"Something about the weather, I think."

>>27371772
power spawning babies, youll have so many babies.

400 babies.

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I love Pencils.

>>27378903
Mares love a colt with a good flank.

Quick thing before I head off to the nightshift. I'll see y'all tomorrow morning.

>"Take it off!"
>Goddammit, THIS asshole again?
>All you want to do is buy a carrot-dog from the carrot-dog pony and carry on with your relaxing FUCKING walk.
>"Aww, don't be so shy, honey! You come with me and I'll take REAL good care of you."
>If she say one more thing, you're gonna...
>No.
>Take a deep breath, Anonymous.
>Punching her is just going to get you the reputation of a woman-beater.
>Mare-beater.
>Whatever.
>First come the assault charges, then come the rape accusations.
>You've heard stallions here talking about "stare-rape"; you know what's up.
>You've done your damndest to keep your hands off the mares and to keep your eyes forward when a foal walks by.
>You really doubt that you would ever get the reputation of a sexual offender just by watching some kids play, but you aren't fucking around here in Ponyland.
>You're on a tight enough leash as it is, being the only one of your kind.
>Look, just get your shitty rip-off hotdog, pay with your government money, and go home to read another Jake Austen novel.
>"Foal, wait up a sec."
>You feel a tug on the back of your jeans and you drop your vegi-dog thing in surprise.
>motherFUCKER, is she for real?
>"I really like this business you got goin' on here."
>She tugs on your pants again for emphasis and you have to grab onto the waist to keep them up around your hips.
>"But why don't you ditch'em and lemme see that scrote of yours?"
>A few gasps from behind you follow - what's her name? Sunflare? - Sunflare's smart comment.
>Keep it together, Anon.
>You're better than this.

>>27378861
Princess Venus: Sorcerer Supreme

>>27378928
>You're be-YANK
>.....
>"Ehh? See? THAT'S what mama's talkin' about!"
>This pony right here.
>She just PANTSED you in front of everyone.
>On LAUNDRY DAY, no less.
>That means that you had no clean underwear.
>That means you WORE no underwear.
>"Oooh, get a whiff of tho-CAHRH!"
>Your head spins, your vision goes blurry, and you're surprised to suddenly find yourself facing the opposite directly with your fist out in front of you.
>"Aah! Wha' did - ow! Buckin' BUCK!"
>Oh, shit, you just punched Sunflare in the snoozle.
>Oh, god.
>This is bad.
>This bitch had it coming, but now you're going to pony jail.
>A mare is writing on the ground in pain, your dick is out, and you are in PUBLIC with about twenty witnesses around you.
"Uhhh..."
>>"Did you see that?!"
>NO NO NO
"W-wait! J-just let m-me..."
>A bunch of ponies (mostly mares, you note) are gathering around you.
>oh fuck oh shit you're going to get beat up now.
>>>"Oh my gosh! He just - "
"NO NO NO PLEASE I'M SORRY"
>Sunflare sits up, holding her bloody nose and glares at you.
>"You WILL be sorry when I'm do-"
>SMACK
>....holy shit, some mare just punched Sunflare again.
>She went down like a sack of bricks.
>"Aaarhg! Stobbit! Buckin' stop it alrea'y!"

>>27378861
>In one dimension, Anon's Batman.

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>>27378861

>>27378944
>Carefully, keeping an eye on all those mares who're still watching you, you crouch down and tug your pants back up your legs.
>>"Are you okay, honey?"
>A mare steps forward and rests a hoof on the small of your back.
>She and another mare gently lead you over to a nearby bench and sit you down on it.
>So it begins.
>>"We saw what happened back there, okay?"
>Shit.
>Shit shit shit SHIT DAMAGE CONTROL
"L-look, it was just a misunderstanding. I swear, I didn't mean to hit her."
>The mare and her friend exchange a concerned look.

-------------------------

>You are Ponice Chief Cuddle Wings.
>This is the most disgusting case of sexual assault you've seen in all your two weeks as Chief of Ponice.
>You've got the victim, one mister Anonymous, sitting nearby with a blanket around his withers and a mug of hot chocolate in his hoof-spiders.
>You gave him EXTRA marshmallows when you saw how distraught he was.
>You didn't have the heart to bring up the issue after he had an exciting day like today.
>Just brought him straight over to the station.
>Poor thing looks terrified.
>'Lestia, is he shaking?
>Hmmm....
>Lucky for you, today is "bring your foal to work" day.
>Anonymous looks like he could use a cuddle.
>Colts love foals, right?
>Right.

End.

There was that one Bon Bon and Lyra green where Anon kicked a mare in the throat, but I don't THINK I've seen any other greens where Anon gets physical with a mare and gets away with it. Either way, I hope y'all liked this. Like I said, it's the night shift so I'll be leaving real soon. Stay based, RGRE.

>>27378472
ofcourse. =)

>>27378857

>the version who got back together with Cadence after she married Shining. That version is a cuck beyond saving.

MOTHER OF GOD
>Venus lost all respect for her father in that universe.
>Turns into a delinquent out of spite.
>Cadence sends her to military school to 'straighten her out' while she, Anon, and Shining make foals.

>>27379071
Don't turn this into cuck general.
Stop talking about cuckoldry. We all know cucks are less than human.

>>27379071
>>27378857
...But colts can't be cucks.

>>27379085

It's less cuckoldry-specific and more just a BAD ENDING.

>>27379091
Anon isn't a colt, remember? The word colt specifically refers to equine males. Anon is a human male.

>>27379140
But everyone still sees him as one, or at least as the fairer sex.

Besides, wouldn't Shining be the cuck in that case, considering that Anon is the one intruding in heir lives?

>>27379161

You have a point there. Shining would be a cuck for letting Cadence do that, but Anon going back to her reeks of a lack of self-respect.

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>>27375205
So its Wacky Races then?

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>>27378964
>There was that one Bon Bon and Lyra green where Anon kicked a mare in the throat

>tfw someone actually remembered the shit you wrote
That's another first I had with you, RGRE.

>>27379085
>>27379091
>>27379140
>>27379161
>>27379185
Please faggots
Its clear that Anon and Shining are in some sort of homo-lust relationship in that universe, so Candy-ass is the one watching her husband get plowed by his boyfriend

>>27379185
Maybe Cadance came back in tears begging him to forgive her, he did, and sometime later they jsut retook their relationship?
What if Venus is just being a rebellious teenager jealous of her daddy looking at other women other than herself?

>>27379217
Yeah, that seems like the most logical conclusion.

>>27379237

I can accept Anon forgiving her, but resuming their relationship is stupid.

>>27379262
Some people get back together after breaking off or even divorcing themselves.

>>27379320

That is a point. I still think Anon getting back together with Cadence after she dumped their daughter on him and cut all contact is stupid.

>>27378924
So when can we look for the next update? Are you shooting for this weekend or maybe something sooner?

>>27379518
As soon as it's ready. This weekend is a good bet though.

>>27378964
>tfw real justice only exists in fictional cartoon pony green now
t-thanks

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Do you know what pony needs more RGRE green?

>>27380077
Tumbler pony a shit.

>>27380077

I don't care about Starlight, but I'll give it a try.

>Anon can't find a job because he doesn't have a cutie mark
>goes to Our Town when he hears employment there isn't based on cutie marks
>realizes he fucked up when he figures out its a cult.

>It was that time again
>Through an unspoken agreement, one that was made when the stars were still young, the great glowing moon that had so steadfastly guarded the sky dipped under the horizon so that it could rest
>In it's place rose it's sibling, the incandescent sun
>The moment that this heavenly body's rays bathed the valleys and plains and mountains the world changed
>The darkness, which the moon had been fighing tooth and nail to keep at bay, vanished
>Warmth and light filled the land, and with those two things the landscape became alive once more
>The birds began their dawn chorus as they climbed out of their nests to conjugate and feed and fly
>The animals of the forests opened their eyes, yawning and stretching and preparing themselves for another hard-fought day of survival
>In the towns and villages and cities of the world, the more civilized (or as they thought themselves) creatures of the world also began to stir
>Some rose to get ready for another day of work and labor, others rose from their warm, comfortable beds to wake their children or their loved ones so that they may start their days, others simply woke up because the sun's radience was not a thing to be ignored
>You were not any of those people
>You had no loved ones that you needed to wake up, you didn't have work today or for the rest of the weekend for that matter and you had some pretty bitchin' blinds covering your windows, so even with the sun's light insistently trying to force itself in your bedroom was relatively dark
>You were Anonymous
>And, after working like a dog for the past four days, maybe getting two or three hours of sleep in between, you were having yourself a well deserved rest
>Fuck the sun, fuck the morning, fuck having to do any of that shit
>Also, fuck the code because of... reasons...
>You were going to sleep until noon--at the VERY least-- and after that you were going to go out and get yourself something to eat

>>27380393
HES HERE

>>27380393
>You then were going go raid some random horses house to steal their liquor and get so plastered that you'd streak through town and get arrested
>You know, just like you did every Friday
>And once or twice a month on Tuesdays
>You mumbled nonsensically, your mind telling your body to get up but your body saying FUCK THAT, rolling onto your side so that you could get a little more comfortable
>As you did that though your blanket, your only friend in these dark and troubling times, had decided to leave half of you exposed to the elements
>Oh no, no, no
>This simply won't do
>Half of you can't be warm and comfortable while the other half is cold
>That was shitty
>You frown and your mumbling became a little upset
>Not opening your eyes, you began to blindly reach for your blank--
SLAP!
>Your eyes snapped open as you let out a surprised yelp
>Rolling onto your back, you looked down, trying to figure out what the FUCK you had just slapped
>There shouldn't have been a single slappable thing on your bed
>Unless...
"I swear to god, Junebug, if you crawled into my bed again I'm really going to call the fucking cops this time," you murmured, your voice heavy with sleep
>Your eyes narrow as you looked down between your legs
>Sure enough, something was making your blanket tent about a foot and a half into the air
>With an irritated grunt, you grabbed your blanket, ready to yank the sucker off of your body
>If you had been a little more awake, you would have noticed that whatever was pitching a tent underneath your blanket wasn't very pony-shaped at all
>You would have also noticed that there was a gigantic wet spot on your blanket that covered nearly half of the fucking thing and that your whole lower body was wet, as were your bed sheets underneath you
>But you weren't even half awake; your eyes were crusty and a little blurry from sleep and you were disorientated

>>27380454
>In your mind you were convinced that Junebug had somehow, once a-fucking-gain had managed to pick the lock on your front door and had snuck into your bedroom like the silly/stalkerish little pone that she was
>So, imagine your surprise when, as you ripped off your blanket, what you saw in between your legs wasn't your weird little earth pony neighbor who's garden you may or may not pee in on occasion
>...
>You blinked slowly, in an almost owlish fashion, trying to understand what you were looking at
>You failed
>You failed harder than you've ever failed ever
>What you were looking at was your dick but... it wasn't
>For one, while you considered yourself a little bigger than the average fella, your dick most certainly wasn't this big
>The shape and color also seemed wrong; instead of the pinkish, torpedo-like phallus that you knew and loved this was an altogether different beast
>And by beast you meant fucking BEAST
>The cock was oddly rectangular, with a flair at the tip
>There was a medial ring around it at about it's halfway point, wherein the cock became reasonably thicker
>Instead of the a pinkish color this cock was green and white spots peppered up and down it
>...
>Did you also mention that it looked like it was about two fucking feet long and about as thick as your FUCKING ARM?!
>Because you think that that is kind of important to paint the picture of what this thing looked like
>Seriously
>You blinked a few more times, confused and more than a little concerned, tentatively reaching up to poke the thing
>You sucked in a mouthful of air as it twitched at your touch, a glob of precum erupting from the tip and landed on your stomach
>YOU FELT THAT!
>YOU FUCKING FELT THAT!
>THIS ISN'T SOMEONE ELSE'S DICK!
>THIS WASN'T SOME PRANK OR JOKE TO FUCK WITH YOU!
>You slowly wrapped your hand around the--your dick, just above the medial ring
>You couldn't even wrap your hand around the monster that just... APPEARED between your legs

>>27380513
>The--YOUR cock throbbed again, and your eyes couldn't help but widen as a glob of precum, impossibly thick and a LOT more than you've ever produced in your entire life, spurted from your new tip
>You let go of your wang, watching as the pre began to slowly drip down the side of it, your mind racing
>...
>A few thoughts raced through your mind as you let your head fall back onto your pillow with a thoughtful hum
>The first was that you were going to have to wash your sheets
>Like REALLY wash your sheets
>If it was a pain in the ass to clean just a bit of cum out of sheets you had a feeling that with this much it was going to be a MOTHERFUCKER
>The second thought was about Gary-Motherfucking-Oak and that sick ass car that he drove around with all of those cheerleading bitches
>... For some reason
>Idly, you wondered why you hadn't passed out from all of the blood that the monster between your legs MUST have been using to stay as hard as it was
>... Did horse wangs use blood to get erect?
>If they didn't use blood then what the heck did they use?
>Magic? Some sort of of pulley system?
>You then thought about how much of a pain it was going to be getting new pants refitted to contain this thing
>Sure, Rarara would give you a pretty good deal on the pants since she was your little marshmallow nigga, and you were sure that this thing got smaller when you weren't erect, but it was going to be a little awkward having to explain...
>Wait...
>YOU HAVE A FUCKING HORSE COCK NOW?!
>WHY DO YOU HAVE A LITERAL, REAL HORSE COCK?!
>WHEN THE FUCK DID YOU GET A HORSE COCK?!
>YOU SURE AS SHIT DIDN'T HAVE ONE WHEN YOU WENT TO BED!
>Grabbing your brand spanking new horse dick you sat up and wiggled yourself over to the edge of your bed
>Sleep forgotten, you climbed out of said
>As you did that you accidentally let go of your member as it mightily throbbed, twitching so hard that it reared up and slapped you in the fucking chest
"Motherfucker!"

>>27380569
>Magic? Some sort of of pulley system?
I got a laugh.

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>>27380569
>You stumbled, almost losing your footing, and with a look of distaste you wiped the glob of pre that was now just under your sternum
>...
>...
>...
>Twilight
>Twilight would know what to do about this
>She was a smart little horse; she could figure out what the FUCK happened to you
>You were going to go to Twilight's house RIGHT NOW and get this shit settled before you had a heart attack or you exploded or something
>...
>But first, you were gonna get these sheets tossed in the wash and then you were gonna take a bath and find a pair of pants that would hopefully, probably fit you
>...Maybe you should get something to eat as well; you didn't know how long you were going to be with Twilight...
>Then, THEN you'd go to Twiggle's house
>...
>Why the hell does stuff like this always happen on your days off?

>You hum a little tune to yourself as you grabbed the coffee pot, along with your sugar and creme
>Though your mom always told you that only frilly stallions drank anything other than black, bitter coffee you preferred something a little less bitter and a little more sweeter and milker in the mornings
>Through years of experience you quickly poured yourself the perfect cup of coffee
>Three-fourths full of coffee, one-fourths full of creme, three big tablespoons of sugar, all stirred together for twenty seconds so that it would mix properly
>You took a deep breath, savoring the smell of coffee in the air, and carried your cup over to your table, where your breakfast and a good book was waiting
>Spike had gone to Canterlot for the weekend, and Starlight had went on a trip to Dodge City with Applejack for apple-related shenanigans
>You were alone for the weekend
>No paperwork, nopony to watch or teach, just you, some coffee and some reading
>You let out a happy sigh as you sit down at your table and take a sip of your coffee
>Hmmm...
>Perfect like always...

>>27380569
Please continue this green LaP, it looks good.

>>27380631
inb4 anon shows up with a blanket wrapped around him like a tunic

>>27380631
>You smacked your lips together as you looked back down at your plate
>Rubbing your hooves manically, you eyed the stack of pancakes and the mountain of hay bacon on your plate meaningfully, brandishing a fork and knife
>Oh filly, you were going to TEAR into--
>"TWILIGHT? TWILIGHT!"
>You jumped in surprise as you heard somepony frantically knocking on your door
>...Anon? Was that Anon?
>What the hay could he want this early in the morning?
>"TWILIGHT! I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE! OPEN UP! SOMETHING'S WRONG! SOMETHING'S VERY, VERY WRONG!"
>You perk up slightly at this, your eyes widening
>You look down at the feast that you had spent all morning making for yourself
>A part of you wanted to just ignore the yelling and pounding at your door
>It was too early to deal with stallion hysterics and you WERE pretty hunger
>But almost as soon as that thought came to mind you beat it down HARD
>You knew that Anon wasn't the kind of stallion that would run to a mare over the littlest of things, but he WAS the kind of stallion that would kick your front door down if you tried to ignore him
>And besides, you were taught better than to ignore a stallion that was obviously in need
>You quickly stood up, grabbing a hooful of hay bacon and stuffing it into your mouth so that your hunger would be staved off for a while longer, and made your way out of your kitchen
>Alright Twilight
>One of your only stallion friends sounded like he was in trouble
>He was probably going to come into your house a little hysterical, so you were going to have to be ready for that...
>You brushed your teeth and you combed your mane this morning...
>You hadn't groomed your wings yet but Anon wasn't the kind of stallion that was a stickler for that kind of thing so you were pretty presentable...
>Alrighty then...
>Quickly chewing and swallowing your hay bacon, and wiping the grease from your chin, you quickly trotted over to the door, unlocking it

File: toga.jpg (67KB, 600x450px) Image search: [Google]

67KB, 600x450px

>>27380672
TOGA TOGA TOGA

>>27380693
kek
more pls

>>27380693
>Anon must have heard the bolt clicking, because just as you were about to open the door it was thrown open, revealing a wild-eyed Anon
>"TWIGGLES! WHAT TOOK YOU SO FUCKING LONG?" he demanded, brushing past you. "FUCK IT, NEVER MIND THAT! YOU GOTTA HELP ME!"
>Just let him talk himself out, Twilight
>After that you'll ask him what's wro--
>"I WOKE UP THIS MORNING AND SAW THAT MY FUCKING DICK WASN'T MY FUCKING DICK ANYMORE!"
>...
>Oh
>That was easier than you thought it was going to be
>...
>Also, what?
"What?" you asked, looking down at Anonymous's lower body
>...For totally scientific purposes of course...
>To your surprise, Anon wasn't wearing the usual dress pants that he liked to wear
>Instead, he was wearing a pair of really loose, grey sweat pants that really showed off his bu--
>NobadTwilightyou'retryingtohelpfilly!
>You turned your head to look away but there was no need
>Anon, with a look of both embarrassment and resolution, grabbed you by the chin and forced you to look up at him
>"There's. Something. Wrong. With. My. Dick." he said, his eyes burrowing into yours
>His stare was intense; too intense for this early in the morning
>You found yourself squirming in place, a blush pinkening your cheeks
"W-Well, if something's wrong I'd be more than happy to take you to the d-doc--"
>With a quiet growl, Anon released your chin
>Walking over to your still open door he poked his head out and looked around before closing and locking it
>His brow furrowed, as if he was debating something
>"...Come on. Instead of trying to explain it I'll just show you what's wrong," he said, more to himself than you, before he started to make his way down the hall
>You, still blushing, watched him go, trying not to think about how THIS was like how so many of those Neighponese comics that you may or may not read started
>...

>>27380756
>You're trying to help
>Something's bothering Anon and out of all of the other ponies that he knew he decided to come to you first
>And because of that you were going to do your very best to help him!
>Though you weren't a doctor by any means you had studied more than enough anatomy to at least know whether you should take him to the hospital or not
>AND you had been the one that examined him when he first came here, so it only made sense that you were the one to examine him first...
>....Y-Yeah...
>Those were good r-reasons...
>Your feathers ruffled as you trotted after Anonymous
>Since, once upon a time, Anon had lived with you he knew these halls just as well as Spike so, while your castle was a labyrinth to some, he traversed it with ease
>His destination was, it seemed, the very room that you had taken him during his first examination and every other examination that he had to undergo thereafter
>Your experimental/ storage room
>While it was one of the smaller rooms in your castle it had an examination table, it had one of those x-ray picture lighter-upers, you even had equipment to get blood work done if there was a need for it
>"Alright. Say, is Spike or anyone else here? 'Cause I DO NOT want them barging in here while you're helping me."
>Stepping into the room with Anon you quickly closed the door, not bothering to lock it
"We're the only two in this entire castle, Anon," you assured, walking over to a little table where you had a clipboard and stethoscope lying. "Now, why don't you show me what's the problem?"
>Anon looked down at his pants, his nose scrunching up
>"... Now, I need you to promise that you're not going to freak out."
"I'm not going to freak out. I promise."
>Anon's nose scrunched up even more
>"Are you sure? If you freak out I'm going to boop you. I'm going to boop you so fucking hard that you're not going to know what to do with yourself."

>>27380814
here it comes boys

>>27375572
>LITTLE SISTER LOOKING AT BREAD LIKE JEW AT GOLD
Muh sides

>>27380814
>You couldn't help but roll your eyes, grabbing a quill and tapping it against your clipboard
"Anon, please, I can be a professional if I want to be. Now will you please pull your pants down so I can see what seems to be the... the..."
>You find yourself trailing off as Anon pulled his pants down, exposing himself to you completely
>Your eyes widened and you just stared
>STARED
>Now, you've been a proud subscriber to Hung Males Monthly since you were thirteen years old
>Thanks mom
>You'd like to think that you've seen a lot of big dicks; pony, diamond dog, gryphon, even minotaur
>But THIS...
>THIS was something else entirely
>As far as you were concerned, Anon's reproductive organs weren't all that special
>His penis wasn't sheathed and a little smaller than a stallions, with a pair of testicles to match
>Though you wouldn't have minded a closer inspection if you know what I mean but you had almost been disappointed that he didn't have some crazy alien wang like you had been expecting
>But this wasn't the penis that you had examined once upon a time
>This penis was hidden in a sheath
>A very big sheath
>A sheath that was so big that it bordered on ridiculous
>At least twice as big as the biggest stallion that you've ever seen
>He was also now sporting a pair of balls the size of his fist
>All-in-all it now looked like the cock of a stallion but... bigger...
>...
>BIGGER...
>Slack-jawed, you couldn't help but stare a little longer than you should have
>And then stare a little longer than that
>Was it getting hot in here?
>Why did you feel so sweaty?
>What was with that marinara smell?
>Anon, with his pants around his ankles, crossed his arms as he stared down at you with narrowed eyes
>You jumped as he loudly cleared his throat

>>27380902
What does a sheath look like? I've read it everywhere, and I can't picture it. Does it recede into the body? Does it look kind of like foreskin? No way in hell I'm Googling that shit, though.

>>27380902
>"Now you can see why I'm freaking out," he said, gesturing to his new package. "Last night everything was find but the second that I wake up I see that I have this fucking thing now."
>You wiped a bit of drool from your mouth
>Professional, Twilight
>You're a professional, remember that
"C-Can you get hard?" you shimmered, your mouth watering slightly
>PROFESSIONAL!
>Anon flinched, reddening slightly
>"Yeah... I can get hard," he said, looking away from you as he shifted his weight from left to right. "I have no idea how, I SHOULD pass out the second that I get a bit of a chub with this thing, but yeah..."
>You found yourself automatically sketching out Anon's stallionhood, your inquisitive side quickly taking over
>You had never seen or heard anything like this before
>As far as you could remember, there weren't any spells that could change a stallion's penis into the penis of another species, at least not without changing the rest of their body drastically
>But, as far as you could tell, Anon looked pretty much the same as he did the last time that you saw him, sans the new... equipment
>This was a magical anomaly; you could FEEL it in your bones
>Someone or something had done this to Anon without him knowing
>And you were going to find out HOW they did it and, hopefully, fix it!
>With science!
>Your horn glowed, and with a pop about a dozen books appeared behind you, along with some other equipment that you had lying around that you felt might help
"Interesting... Now, I'm going to ask you a few questions, Anon. They might make you a little uncomfortable but I promise you that I'm only asking them to help you."
>You stared up at Anon with your best smile, doing your very best to ignore the blush on your face that REFUSED to go away
>This is for science, Twilight
>No dirty thoughts
>No dirty thoughts
>And certainly no dirty science
>That wouldn't be good for anypony
>...
>NO

>>27380963
Massive horsecocks ftw

>>27381016
massive humancocks ftw, faggot

>>27381059
>humancock
What are you, gay?

>>27381059
>>27381016
Let's compromise
Massive horsecocks on humans ftw!

>>27381100
For you.

>>27381118
big tasty ponuts on dudes

>>27380963
>Though he still looked more than a little frazzled and he was blushing just as hard as you, Anon nodded
>"Alright, lay 'em on me."
>Oh I'll la--
>NO!
>NO DIRTY THOUGHTS FOR CELESTIA'S SAKE!
>THIS WAS A NO DIRTY THOUGHT ZONE!
>The next twenty minutes or so were filled with questions
>What did you eat yesterday? Where did you go? Did you meet somepony that you haven't met before? Did they offer you anything? Did you step on something or touch something that you've never seen before? When was the last time that you've used the bathroom or masturbated?
>Though you tried your best to be professional, the questions that you were asking were a little... awkward, and it didn't help any that Anon was still pants-less, so you were shimmering a little and had to pause once or twice, but other than that the questioning went on without a hitch
>As you did that you were finishing sketching Anon's new sheath as you looked over a dozen spell and anatomy books
>Even once in a while you'd sneak a peek over your clipboard to eye his new equipment with a little more... intensity than was needed, but for the most part you liked to think you did pretty well
>...Though it really didn't give you any clue to what had happened to Anon
>From what he told you he hadn't eaten anything out of the ordinary, he didn't meet any new ponies and he didn't go anywhere other than work and home
>And looking into your spell books didn't give you any solid leads...
>...
>...
>...
>You were going to have to examine it...
>You were going to have to get up close and personal with the biggest ding-a-ling that you had ever laid eyes on
>...Celestia help you...
>You found yourself blushing hard at the thought, quickly summoning up a few more spell books so that you could REALLY explore all of your avenues
>...But there was nothing
>Maybe there might have been a book up at Canterlot or in the Crystal Empire that would shed a little light on Anon's condition but your library wasn't expansive enough

>>27381152
>...
>...
>...
>Now
>How the hay were you going to tell him that you needed to poke at his junk without getting slapped?
>...
>Should you throw out a joke to lighten the mood?
>Did doctors do that?
"...Anon?"
>You peeked over your clipboard to look at the stallion, who was sitting on the edge of the examination table twiddling his thumbs
>He looked up at you, his head cocked to the side
>"Yeah, Twilight? Did you figure out what was wrong with me?"
>Your mouth felt dry as you slowly shook your head
"No. I couldn't find anything in my books and you didn't tell me anything all that useful," you say, ruffling your feathers nervously
>Just come out and say it
>Beating around the bush is only going to make this worse
>SAY IT FILLY!
"Sooooo... I was wondering if you'd be comfortable letting me examine your stallionhood a little more closely..."
>Your eyes darted down to Anon's junk before you looked back up at him
>...Then your eyes drifted back down at dat long, strong, green schlong
>For a long, long moment Anon said nothing, his expression unreadable
>You braced yourself, expecting him to start throwing things and calling you a pig and a mule and a--
>"Alright."
>Wat
"W-What?"
>Blushing as hard as you've ever seen him, Anon stood up
>You couldn't help but notice his sheath jiggling as he did so
>U-Unf~
>"I know you're just trying to help, Twi, and there's no way I'm running halfway across town with this thing to go to the hospital."
>Making a face, to beckoned you forward with a hand
>"Just... just go easy on me will ya? I still don't have any idea how to work this thing."
>You gulped, licking your lips as you took a small step forward; then another, then another, then another
>Keep looking at Anon's face
>Keep looking at his face
>You're a gentlemare
>You're here to help
>Don'tdoanythingstupid!
>When you got within arm's length you gave Anon a nervous smile

>>27381230
>He smiled nervously back at you as he shifted his weight to the balls of his feet and then to his heels
>"...Do ...do you want me to sit back on the table or--"
"No, no, standings fine!" you assured a LITTLE too loudly before you coughed. "No, It'll be easier for me if you stand. Thank you for asking. About what would be easier for me. The exam... touching..."
>You coughed again, trying to collect yourself as you looked back down at the notes that you had managed to get
>Which was pretty much buck all
"Okie dokie. Now, I'm going to start off by touching you around your stallionhood and then I'll start prodding the sheath--"
>Prodding was the worst thing that you could have said!
>You should have used a softer word!
>Prodding is too harsh of a word!
"--And after that I'm going to need to take a look at your testicles--"
>Why did you say prodding?!
>He's going to get freaked out now!
>He's going to freak out and he'll make you freak out and then the two of you will start screamingateachotherandthenAnonwillstartthrowingthingsandyou'llstartthrowingthingsandsomethingsgoingtocatchonfireandyourcastleisgoingtoburndownandyou'llbehomelessandYOUCANDOTHISFILLYSUCKITUP!
"--And then I'm going to have to take a look at your penis. But don't worry about that right now; we'll just take this one step at a time and go as slow as you want. And if you're uncomfortable with anything that I do we can stop and try something else."
>Though you're freaking THE BUCK OUT on the inside you still smile up at Anon as you floated your clipboard away from you
"Does that sound alright?"
>A mixture of both relief and terror filled you as Anon slowly nodded
>"Yep. That sounds fine."
>OhmygoshthisisgoingtogosowrongandAnon'sgoingtohateyouandyou'regoingtohateyouandwhenSpikefindsouthe'sgoingtohateyoubutthatodesn'tmatterbecausenoponycaresaboutSpikebutstillthat'sgoingtobeAWFUL!
"G-Great. Now I'm going to start touching you now, a-alright?"

>>27381272
>Seeing Anon's silent nod of conformation, you slowly begin to reach up toward Anon's stallionhood
>It looked even bigger up close...
>You could see dozens of thick, thick veins running up and down his green and white sheath along with his testicles
>His great big furry testicles that must be FILLED to the brim with cu--
>Anon twitched as your hooves connect with his leg
>You twitched in turn, your eyes darting up to his face
"I'm not hurting you am I?" you quickly asked, pulling your hooves away
>Anon shook his head
>"Nah. It's just that your hooves are a little cold."
"Oh my gosh! I'm sorry, I should have--"
>"Twilight."
>You flinched at the firmness in Anon's tone
"Y-Yes?"
>"I need you to take it easy. I know this is a little... weird but you're not going to help me if you start freaking out."
>...
>He's right
>You do need to calm down...
>Getting antsy over every little thing isn't going to help Anon
>You opened your mouth to apologize but Anon just shook his head and gestured toward his stallionhood
>...
>Alright
>You can do this
>You. Can. Do. This.
>Your horn glowed as you cast a simple yet very effective spell on your clipboard and your quill
>Your clipboard flipped the page over so that the quill had a blank page to write on
>The quill, in turn, tapped against the edge of the clipboard, ready to write
>You could now focus all of your efforts on examing Anon as they recorded everything that you said
>You once again reached up and placed your hooves on each of Anon's legs, about five inches above the knee
"Upon close inspection Anon Y. Mous's penis seems to have taken on the features of a stallion's reproductive organ."
>Your ears perked up as you heard your quill going to work, but you otherwise kept your eyes on the prize as it were
>"His member is hidden within a sheath, complete with a prepuce."
>You gently touched the skin of Anon's new sheath, trying to ignore the fact that his balls slapped together as you did this

>>27379212
paste?

>>27381360
"The skin seems to be thicker than the skin on his stomach and legs, and there seems to be a thin layer of fur covering both the sheath and the balls."
>You could feel the weight of Anon's new cock as you moved his sheath to and fro, poking and prodding and exploring
>Though Anon did his best to stand still so that you could do your work you could feel him beginning to squirm under your touch, his breathing a touch quicker than it had been just a moment ago
"Though it seems to be very much similar to the stallionhood of a common equine upon first inspection, Anonymous's phallus is overly large. So large in fact that it should be impossible for his body to support such an organ."
>You ran your hoof along the length of his sheath, trying to feel any inconsistencies or spot anything out of the ordinary
"From what he has told me and what I have observed for myself, Anonymous's kind achieves an erection through blood flowing to the organ which is caused by arousal or by sensual touch, but, even though there are numerous veins on the sheath and the testicles, there should be no possible way that he should be able to achieve an erection."
>Your nostrils flared slightly, taking in Anon's musk
>You were SO CLOSE to it...
"B-But Anonymous has insisted that he is able to achieve a full and lasting e-erection. This, along with his transformation, has led me to believe that magic of an unknown means has been cast on him without his k-knowledge."
>Anon twitched hard as you reached down and grabbed one of his balls, lifting it up slightly to feel it's weight
>Anon gasped again, and though you didn't notice it, as focused on his balls as you were, his cock twitched in its sheath
"His testicles, likewise, seem to be just as overly large. The fur is thinner on his sack, though it seems to be similar to the fur on his sheath."
>Though you didn't see it, Anon bit his lip as you gave his ball a gentle squeeze
>His cock twitched again, its tip poking out for the world to see

>fucking idiots think gender roles exist

>>27381402
"While it is yet unknown they appear to be--epp!"
>You reeled back as something poked your nose
>OhsweetCelestiathescrunchisreal!
>Your wings flared out, desperately trying to reach out to grab something so that you wouldn't fall over
>As "luck" would have it one of your wings DID manage to grab a hold of something so that you wouldn't fall over
>That thing was also the thing that had booped your nose
>Something hard and something veiny that was wet at the tip
>Anon let out a soft moan as the thing THROBBED at your touch, spurting something thick and gooey into your fea--
>...
>You blinked as you regained your balance, letting your wing snap back to your side
>There, not three inches from your face, was Anon's penis, mouth-wateringly huge even though you couldn't see the medial ring
>Your eyes crossed to look at the thing
>...
>Oh...
>Your eyes snapped down toward your wing
>Sure enough, your feathers were COATED in a white, sticky substance
>Your nostrils flared once more as your eyes darted back toward Anon's cock
>...
>You found yourself speechless as you looked at it
>Wow...
>"Shit! Twilight, I swear to god I didn't mean it!" Anon shimmered, trying to take a step back. "I-I tried to ignore it but all of the touching and--FUCK!"
>Leaning forward, you gently blew on the tip of his cock
>Anon's breathing hitched as his member throbbed and a few more inches of it slipped out of its sheath
>You were statue-still as the flared, pre-soaked tip brushed against your cheek
>You could feel its heat against your face, you could smell the overpowering musk that was threatening to turn your brain into mush
"A-Anon's stallionhood appears to be l-larger than o-originally anticipated."
>Sweet Celestia it was SO WARM...
>Another glob of pre cum, pearly white and the consistency of honey, spurted from the tip, coating your cheek
"L-Likewise, he seems t-to produce sperm a-at an alarming r-rate..."
>Automatically, you stuck out your tongue to lap the cum up

>>27381440
You're right, and almost everyone here agrees. It's just fun writing this, though.

>>27381440
And who are you, again?

>>27381463
Someone who probably wrote a single oneshot and think's he's big shit, that's who.