RGRE: Reversed Gender Roles Equestria

First for someone should write an "Anon is Fluer's Trophy husband" story again or I might try and remember to do it when I wake up to watch the 4CC.

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>>27302265
>mfw it's not dong ring

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>>27302364
I can't believe its not dong ring.
Thanks based Anon

>Anon tired of being treated like a baby.
>starts commiting crimes and burning buildings
>even if a pony sees him do it they get shunned when they report it cause "there's no way a Colt could do that"

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Someone should make Famous Anon sign a pony's teats. Or at least a guardsmare's armor.

>>27302366
There was a slight error

>>27302364
>>27302366
>>27302382
https://derpibooru.org/1000224

>>27302265
>>27301808
>Be anon.
>Have enough piercings to simultaneously put you on the no fly list and ban you from any hospital with an MRI.
>Such is the life of a goth.
>You were walking down the street, thinking goth things.
>Heavy metal, leather clothes, that donut you ate while frowning.
>Suddenly, this weird hexagonal box glitches into existence in front of you.
>portal to Equestria.
>You are now Gothanon in Equestria.
>You shrug.
>Such is the inconvenience of life.
>Once you've got things working for you, it throws you a curveball.
>And it seems like your pets will have to fend for themselves.
>Tooth the Snake will probably eat Whiskers the rat.
>And Morogorth the Declawed Fiend will probably wander off.
> Morogorth the Declawed Fiend is your kitten.
>So you decide to walk into a bar.
>The weird creatures in there look at you.
>Some catbird girl tries to grope your balls after you sit down.
>Not with those claws!
>You flick her on the head.
>She cringes and backs off.
>Some lady-bughorse asks for your story.
>You start to talk about the lonely life of darkness, metal, pain, and spoopy skellingtons.
>Bar is either looking at you with terrified wonder or passed out.
>Once you're done with your appletini you leave.
>Without leaving a tip.
>Gasps abound.
>And now some of the bar people are following you.
>Females, all of them.
>Cool, you've got groupies.


Honestly, I don't understand goths. But here's a start that I may end up continuing until most people come back. Or someone else can pick up from here.

>>27302641
Kekked quite a bit reading this. Are you planning on writing more?

>>27302727
As interesting as it would be, I don't think I know enough about the Goth mindset. But if the Succubus threads don't continue with more writefags, I'll try to write a short story.

>>27302641
>Everyone thinks Gothanon is going to do something villainous because he looks "evil"
>Always on edge around him
>What horrible plan could he have with those potatoes?
>Some kind of mutant tuber army?
>Normal ponies are too terrified to bring this up
>Ponies of a more heroic bent try to find out his plans
>He has no plans

>>27302848
>Ponies learn that he's looking for a legendary weapon capable of binding thousands to his will.
>One that harnesses the power of lightning and booms with thunder.
>Needs plants to use the weapon properly.
>Gothanon just wants weed and an electric guitar.

>>27302930
Apart from the hole goth thing, I would love to see ponies with as a eletricidade guitar as something devilish only for guitarist anon to do what he knows best

I only can't put exactly how a guitar ended up in equestria, maybe ancient rock gods, you do you

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>>27303081
Does it matter?

>>27302754
Goths are like coconuts; hard, dark and hairy on the outside, soft and sweet on the inside.

>>27303170
I thought you were gonna say they were flaky and white and filled with "special water" that just tastes like worse regular water inside.

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>>27302605
dong ring peddlers BTFO

>>27303289
And if you consume too much of it it gives you diarrhea

>>27301484
>"Anon! Your chassis isn't of optimal design for the leisure activity of "hoofball". Why don't you help Pinkie_P[13] in the assembly lines and produce some fuel cells for us?"
>A cyan machine invades your vision: the Dual-engine Ascent unit Shielded for Heat (code name: Rainbow D.A.S.H)
>>"Hey! Don't forget to put some extra lithium-ion crap in there for me. My system needs to be kept at least 20% cooler than the standard design I'm based on if I don't want to fry my circuitry."
>You wish you weren't the robot-woman in this relationship.

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>>27303573
>>You wish you weren't the robot-woman in this relationship.
I want to be the robot woman

There's a reversed gender roles thread on /aco/ with some good content if anyone wants some help getting those creative juices flowing
>>>/aco/552327

>>27303698
>implying I want to read green that doesn't involve colorful horses.

>>27303698
>mfw gookmoot made /aco/ so the ebil western animation wouldn't touch his precious /h/
>mfw that board has just as much weebshit
well memed you cat eating chink

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>>27303796
Heh, well ofcourse I'd forget to post mfw.

>be pone
>find new grass patch
>gallop around in circles
>lay down and roll around on grass
>get on back and kick hoovies in air
>get tired
>pone tired
>trot over to tree with shade
>pone sleep
>pony sleeping noises
>have pone dreams
End

So, it's mothers day, at least in a lot of places, so remember to get those jerseys and beers for them.

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>>27303836
Cute.

>>27303836
>Be birdpone
>Gotta get those feathers cleaned
>Find a patch of dust and dirt
>Roll around in it and kick up a cloud
>Now you're pretty for Anon

>>27303838
I got my mom a new powerdrill and surprised her with breakfast steak

>>27303838
OK dad, if you say so.

>>27303899
In what world would a mom want a powerdrill?

>>27303918
One where your mom needs to drill stuff, duh.

>>27303918
Who else is going to drill stuff, my dad? pff, I can see it now: dad in his flowery bathrobe trying to put up a shelf.

>>27303918
Maybe she's a woman with a very particular set of needs. Needs she's acquired over a very long life. Needs that make her a nightmare for people like you.

>>27303918
>In what world would a mom want a powerdrill?
RGRE

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>>27303918
I got my mom a power screwdriver.

It's like a power drill but dainty and feminine sized

>>27304289
A good one with plenty of torque?

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>>27304256
Working hard to feed their family.

>>27304298
The one in that picture.

It was the only one that had the bit up on top like that so it can get into tight spaces easier instead of being in the middle of the motor section.

>all these baby tools being posted.
Wow, are you buying these for your dads? Any real marely mare would know that manual tools are the only true way to get things done.

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>Your sister's moon hung lazily in the sky as you made your way back to your chambers
>Your pacek was slow and your steps were measured, as they always were, but the usual aura of majesty that you casted around yourself was gone
>Usually, when it was time to lower your sun so that Luna could bring about her night you would have bounded toward your room, excited to take a load off and just RELAX
>But today, sadly, you had not been given the luxury of an evening to yourself
>The yaks had come once again, making demands and flinging threats as they were known to do
>This time it was about a land dispute--which was over fifteen hundred years old by the way--with the Crystal Empire over a section of snow-ladened mountains
>Why the yaks would need such mountains were beyond both you and Cadence, who had asked you to mediate, but, as the hours had gone by, your headache and grown and grown until you were ready to fly north yourself and just blow the silly things to rubble
>Prince, Rutherford, ever the drama king, had made demand after silly demand, furthering your headache
>War was, of course, threatened, and what had turned into a land squabble had then turned into the Prince "casually" saying that a marriage proposal would be the only thing that would stave his wrath
>Hump, "wrath"
>Nevermind that you could crush the Prince's so-called "army" with a single battalion of your own forces
>You, of course, had steered the conversation back to safer waters, moreso for the fact that Cadence had looked like she was going to burst out laughing, all the while remembering the Prince's mother
>Queen Eotteon had been a wonderful ruler; a bit prideful, but you had been glad to call her not only ally but friend
>If she had seen what her son had become, or more importantly what her husband had turned him into before he had also passed on, there would have been Tartarus to pay...
>A gentle sigh escaped your lips as you turned the corner, nodding at a pair of statue-still guards

>>27304323
>LaP
Awwwww shit.

>>27304301
>Switch is flipped to off
>Still running
Fucking magic, I swear.
Also, guess I got banned last month for shitposting on /a/? Wasn't banned this morning.

>>27304339
The 'on' side is pressed down.

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>>27304323
>Even with you mediating the entire thing, the "talks" had still gone on for, far, far too long
>You were tired, your rump was sore from sitting for hours on end and you could FEEL the sweat and dirt on your coat
>You had had a VERY long day and you not only wanted but you NEEDED to rest
>Partly because the negotiations STILL weren't over and you wanted to come back to them NOT wanting to throttle the annoying, whiny prince and partly because there was somepony waiting for you in your chambers that you hadn't gotten to see today and who you greatly missed
>You nodded at another pair of guards, who in turn saluted, as you made your way into the royal wing of the castle
>You were almost there; you could see your bedroom doors beckoning at the end of the hall
>The day was almost over; the moment that you were behind those doors you could just sit back and relax
>The thought immediately perked you up, and with a small smile on your face you began to pick up your pace
>Twenty steps
>Fifteen
>Eight
>Three
>Your horn glowed, and with a thought your doors were opened and you stepped into your room without slowing, quickly closing the door behind you lest somepony try to stop you with some concern or message or report
>At that moment you were no longer Princess Celestia, the mare who carried the weight of a nation on her withers
>You were simply Celestia, the mare that needed to try to get some sleep since she needed to get up extra early for work tomorrow
>As with the rest of the castle, your bedroom was aglow with the gentle light of Luna's moon
>It's pale, almost hypnotizing glow bathed every inch of your room, from the door that you were standing near to your balcony outside
>You sigh again, though this was a far happier one
>Your horn glowed once again and your crown, your shoes and your peytral were gone, leaving you naked
>You stretch, grunting as you hear bones pop back into place
>As you did this your eyes wandered toward your bed

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>>27304351
>While this particular piece of furniture had been something slightly bittersweet to come back to every night now, because of the person that was currently lying on it, it brought a smile to your face
>For years, longer than even you could remember, that bed had been cold, barren, a space shared by you and you alone
>...Alone...
>Shaking away such melancholy thoughts you took a step toward your bed, weariness forgotten
>You could hear his breathing from here, slow and gentle
>Your ears perked up
>As slow and as gentle as it appeared to be it was still too quick for him to be sleeping
>He was awake; no doubt ready to surprise you as you climb into bed with him
>Your heart flutters at the thought, and a smile comes to your face as you quietly made your way forward
>Time for the hunt-ee to become the hunter
>Since it was rather warm out tonight he had forgone your blanket
>You could see every inch of his naked body as he laid there splayed out, with those beautiful eyes of his closed
>You drank in every inch of him, wondering for the millionth time how you managed to acquire a "stallion" such as this
>One who was not only beautiful on the outside but who had made your days such a joy since the moment that you had met him
>It was the little things he did
>Bringing you fresh, warm cookies and milk to a long, stressful meeting--not only embarrassing you but also everypony in that meeting in the process--, the hugs and kisses on the cheek after a difficult day, the way that he moved and talked and the way that those green eyes of his lit up as he smiled
>Sunshine
>He was your sunshine; your sunshine that managed to brighten your day no matter what had happened or how sour your mood
>Your bed creaks slightly under your weight as you carefully climb into it
>Still your little human, your love, your sunshine, does not move, though you think you see his head move to the side slightly

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>>27304406
>Now grinning, you began to make your way up your little human's body, rubbing yourself against thim all the while
>It was so wonderful feeling the heat of his body, the way that his skin rubbed against your fur
>Not able to help it, you stopped your upward advance to kiss your human's belly
>Your nostrils flared, inhaling the scent of vanilla, metal, baked goods and even your own scent
>It was your sunshine's scent, and it didn't matter if he had just bathed or if he had spent the whole day sweating and working like a dog---as he was known to do-- you still loved it beyond words
>You love him beyond words
>The warm, tingly feeling in your belly grew as you kissed him again
>If you weren't so exhausted you would have aimed your kisses a little lower
>You would have hummed in delight as you heard your little human's gasp, his hands finding your mane as his hips bucked
>You would have then embraced him and become one in every sense of the word
>But there was no time for lovemaking tonight
>That would have to be on another day; right now you needed to simply show your love
>You once again continued your journey upward, though your kisses didn't cease
>Belly, chest, neck, chin, cheeks, forehead, you let your lips travel where they will as you pressed yourself more firmly down onto your lover
>If you would have done this with a stallion you would have enveloped them
>The stallion, already uncomfortable lying on his back, would have whimpered in pain from your weight and you would have had to have gotten off him
>The rest of the night thereafter would have been left in tense discomfort until either the stallion quietly left himself or you ordered him to leave
>You'd have then been all by yourself in a cold, cold bed
>Alone
>Lonely
>But, from the way that your lover's hands found themselves against your hips, you'd say that he liked your weight
>He liked feeling your fur brush up against his gorgeous, mostly hairless naked body

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>>27304463
>You pressed your lips against his neck, hoping with all of your might that he could feel the love in each peck
>Every time that you saw him, every time that you felt his touch or heard his laugh, you were so full of the emotion that your heart ached
>Sunshine
>YOUR sunshine
>You squirmed on top of him as his hands traveled up and down your sides, his fingers digging slightly into your fur
>With a whimper, one formed out of exhaustion, want and love, you pressed your lips against his
>Your wings unfurled, encasing you both in a feathery cocoon where nothing else mattered other than THIS
>You loved this man
>You loved him so much that you wanted to scream it to the heavens
>Only when your dear, dear sister had returned and the two of you had embraced as sisters once more had you felt like this
>This happiness, this joy, this... fullness
>And, to your joy, he felt the exact same way
>You broke the kiss as his hands found themselves cupping your face
>His fingers began rubbing against your cheeks in a circular motion, making you hum in delight
>One of his eyes opened, and he smiled
>You smiled back, your tail swishing back and forth happily
>"There you are," he muttered
>You smiled
"Hello my sunshine."
>You kissed him again, as any wife should kiss her husband
"Sorry I'm late."

>>27304491
I've been having a shitty couple of days at work so I decided to write something comfy. Happy mother's day guys

>>27304323
So why do ponies even put up with the yaks to begin with?

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>>27304491

>>27304505
That was very comfy, LaP. Happy mother's day right back at you.

>>27304505
That was sweet, LaP.

>>27304491
Now ask him to make you a mommy.

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>>27304505
Thanks LaP. That was super comfy. I love how you write Celestia.

I forgot it was mothers day.

>>27304967
It's not too late to call her Anon. It would make her day.

>>27304982
>It's not too late to fuck her Anon. It would make her day.

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>>27304491
>>27304505
hhhnggg
It was so cute and cozy, perfect.

>>27304567
> The princesses come to Anon a la the Judgement of Paris
> Anon mixes up what the solution was
> The princesses leave with a part of the box
> Anon has the vague feeling the prettiest princess would have protested at the destruction
> Discord's revenge at not being invited to some party or another is foiled

>>27304505
Was good, mang. Simple but nice.

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>>27304505
theres something really nice about celestia gently laying on top of you and nuzzling and kissing you

>>27305884
Is this what love feels like?

>>27305961
I wouldn't know, I've never felt it.

>>27305974
And you never will.

>>27306016
This is fine. Everything is fine.

>>27305974
This. Though I have to say that the closest thing to it I can imagine is something very similar to what LaP wrote earlier.

>>27304776
This pic doesn't make sense. If she wanted 5 minutes she'd just move the sun back down.

Page 9 bump

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page 7 green

>You are Twilight Sparkle, and you HATE your friends.
>The trans-dimensional alien colt, Anonymous, has been here in Ponyville with you for nearly a whole month and you're STILL trying to prove that stallions are considered equal to mares.
>You don't know WHY he had to crash-land in Equestria a week before Estrus season, but now he has to contend with a bunch of horny mares who make it VERY clear what they think of him, vis-a-vis his dick.
>Just mares! Mares on the street!
>"Mmm, which mare was dumb enough to let you wander out of the kitchen? Her loss, honey."
>"I can teach you how to nip the back of my neck properly, Anon!"
>"Do you cum after fifteen seconds? Would you like to?"
>The worst offender is that HORRIBLE Vinyl Scratch.
>You'd have thought that her dyke friend, Octavia, would have her locked away with a cooler and a crotch-strap, but she somehow escaped their bucking rut-dungeon.
>"Anon! Anonymous, wait! Seriously, I just want to talk."
>And then she smothered her face in his crotch and came all over your floor.
>Bucking degenerate.

"Anonymous, PLEASE. I've TOLD you, this is our Estrus season. We can't control ourselves."
>Anonymous looks up at you from his Equestrian History book with a disbelieving look on his face.
"It-it... seeing a stallion wandering the street during these days is like dangling cake in front of Princess Celestia."
>"Mm-hmm?"
>Oooh.
>That's the noise your dad makes whenever your mom's royally bucked up.
>Standing in place, you trot in a circle while you try and think of what else you could say to convince Anonymous that you aren't a sexist piece of shit.
"Anon!"
>You turn and find yourself MUCH closer to him than you remember being.
"I have to fight the horny mares!"
>Anon sadly pats your head and scratches you behind the ear.
>"No, Twilight. You ARE the horny mares.
>You're suddenly aware of your face in his crotch.
>And then Twilight was in estrus.

>>27307640
I crie evrytim.

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>>27307640
and then twilight was sex

page 7
why

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Estrus thread?

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>>27308428
Estrus thread.

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>>27308428
How would one properly bang a pony?

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>>27308449
There's lots of ways, but it depends on if you want to do it more traditionally or make it exotic for her.

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>>27307834
>Twilight is depressed and frustrated because tfw no qt bf.
>Stallions don't like her bookworm personality and/or feel threatened by her smarts.
>Her princess status puts off stallions who want all her time, leaving only gold-diggers still wanting her.
>She's disillusioned even harder.
>Almost fedora levels of tfw.
>Que Anonymous, the nerd hunter.
>And a lonely purple princess with a razor wit and wide hips just stepped into his sight.
>Mmm yes. This one will be his.

>>27307640
>>"No, Twilight. You ARE the horny mares.
>>You're suddenly aware of your face in his crotch.
>>And then Twilight was in estrus.
>mademelaugh/10

>>27308449
From the behind, cant go wrong.

>>27308525
>Twilight is deeply ashamed of her wide hips and chubby tummy
>Anon can barely contain his erection

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>>27308525
oh yes

>>27308525
I read 'nerd hunter' as 'nerf herder'

>>27303081
>I only can't put exactly how a guitar ended up in equestria, maybe ancient rock gods, you do you

many MANY years ago, ponies learned of magic made electricity, and tried to add it to everything.
you have some ponies who still use the byproducts of their efforts, like vinyl scratch.

however after speakers loud enough to sent the music from what is now ponyville to canterlot were made and tested, not knowing how loud they were, the guitar was deemed to dangerous to use and sealed away.

in comes anon who knows enough about guitars and amps to add in a volume switch and tame the long sealed artifact.

>>27308695
>"Okay guys, pro-tip: put in a dial."

After being out of the clop writing game for so long, writing this feels weird.
Not in a bad way though.

>>27309014
We believe in you, Shukmaster Flash. Let it flow through you.

>>27308695
Does anyone else feel like this is Equestria Brutal Legend edition?

I loved that game, though the 'wars' could have been an entirely different style of gameplay and made it better

So you know the trope in hentai of gross old man and hot girl? What would that be in RGRE: a saggy, fat mare with a gaping cunt having sex with a barely-legal stallion who has a huge dick and balls? Seriously, what's up with all the fat disgusting old men having sex with sexy girls in hentai?

>>27309243
Wouldn't the mare have a super tight vagina that can turn the purist stalion into a slut in one thrust?
The reader is supposed to relate to them

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>>27309161

>>27309243
>>27309275
The gross old man thing is because there is a perverse thrill from defiling young, pure girls. Especially in scenarios where the hot girl's distaste is overcome by her desire for sexual pleasure. That dynamic is sort of a sex variation on the tsundere dynamic. Generally, any time a girl goes from hating a guy to liking a guy, the impact is greater than if the girl just slowly comes to like the guy.
This is probably also why rape fiction tends to have the victim come to accept and enjoy the act.

Thus, gross mares in RGRE could be loose, but only if their interior muscles were skilled enough to bring a stallion to orgasm. Otherwise the scenario won't work.

>>27309275
Here's a bit of hot stuff. Channeled my inner 変態 very hard for this.

>>"Oh? Already out of it's sheath huh? You really want it, don't 'cha?"
>"Back off, old lady! I'm gonna hurt you!"
>>"Oh? The little twink says he's gonna hurt me. Go ahead, try."
>"Huh? I-I can't move my hooves! What did you do?!"
>>"He-heh! I might have slipped a few...medicine in the drink I bought ya."
>"Y-You're vile! This is-aaahn~"
>>"Mmm, it's always so nice to see fresh ones so sensitive and wild."
>"Haah, haah~ There's n-no way your dusty old cooter can make me-oooh buck!"
>>"What's that? This "old lady"'s ears don't work like they use to be anymore. Run that by me one more time."

So is everyone still focusing on the new episode or is RGRE just lost its steam?

>>27309709
>Thread is inactive for only a few hours
>Oh no it's dead
Sure Anon, sure

>>27309709
Probably more because it's mothers day.

>>27309778
Nigga we've nearly hit page 10 three or four times today.

>>27309893
I'd believe that.

>>27302265
horse rider anon in rgre
>pones see stallion bigger, tougher and faster then them being riden like a slave
>self confidence destroyed
>they see he's been gelded
confidence destryed even more and the stallionists are crying misandry at the highest level
>try to put anon in dungin but cant because he keeps escaping with actual horse
>turns out anon is male so he couldn't have done it
writeing promp bump

>>27310003
How can you possibly fuck up English so bad?

>>27310023
His english is too shitty to not be trolling. I've ready plenty of fics from people whose mother tongue isn't english and they at least have structure and you can tell they're trying.

>>27310003
no

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>>27310003
>Hurting a tiny pastel horse.

>>27309130
Combat through dueling rock stages
The power of magic in music compels the beings listening to act

Now imagine the entire event being remembered through a song like ultimate showdown.

On a side note, while I love the game, make no mistake they fucked up hard. The game was billed as a open world god of war style game, the only hint of an rts element was 1 week before the game came out. That rubbed most people the wrong way, and with how simplistic the rts element was, i could seriously have done without it, I found the action gameplay far more satisfying.

Heres hoping brutal legend 2 doesn't suck.

>>27310101
not a troll i just havent slept in the past 37 hours.

>>27310196
im talking about an actual horse in rgre not the tiny pastel ones.

>>27310255
>>27310261
Are you that dude from before who got mad because everyone told you that you had shitty grammar?

>>27310281
iv'e been told many times on many different boards that i have bad grammer but iv'e never been told that here. hell this is like my seventh post on /mlp/

>>27310281
In his defense, I assumed it was a regular horse being talked about when i read that prompt.
Probably because of this line:
>>try to put anon in dungin but cant because he keeps escaping with actual horse

>>27310304
Oh. Well, I hate be the bearer of bad news but that shit won't fly. It isn't anything personal but nothing pisses people off more than unreasonably bad grammar.

>>27310332
if its the grammer is the problem then someone here should rewright it with good grammer so it can pass the wrightfags expectations. with that being said, good night /mlp/

>>27310360
Night bro

>You arrive in town after a 30 minute walk, making sure to not just pop out of nowhere in particular
>Looking around you try to see if you can find the place
>"Well well well, what do we have here?"
>You see her
>Its like every cowboy stereotype in one was applied to this pony.
>You have seen and dealt with AJ, but this... this isn't even fair
"I'm looking for a good time, mind pointing me to the nearest brothel?"
>Oh this is going to be fun
>"If you are looking for a good time..." she half lids her eyes, and if you didn't know what ponies were like, you may have taken her up on the offer "... I can give you a ride you will never forget"
>But you have better things to do.
>Sockenly seductive, now you know why cowboys can turn women on
"Well damn, didn't know you were a filly fooler."
>The look in her eyes go from seductive to quizzical
>Then from that to shock
>You can see the gears turning faster then ever before
"It's been a while but I could give it a go if your down."
>You get in a little closer and put a hand on her back
>This snaps her right the fuck out
>"N-now LOOK here. I'm no filly fooler..." stopping to look and see if anyone is looking at her and by your estimate its midnight
>Narrowing her eyes she looks at you in a hushed tone "...down the road, second last building that isn't marked."
"Thank You, unless you have any other... offers..." she cringes at that "I'll be on my way"
>Wanting nothing to do with you anymore, she squints and says "that place is suppose to be our town's little secret, don't go spreading its existence or else we may get some laws passed to make it illegal when we are technically abroad"
>With a somber face you nod and head out
>No matter the universe the oldest profession is always looked down on

Seriously, anything that would irk anon big or small about rgre world will help this idea along.

>>27310464
So is this Femanon or regular Anon just telling pones that he's female to trip them out? Cause I didn't get the filly part.

>>27303838
I did the same thing I've done for more than a decade. I buy her a years worth of lawn care and yard maintenance from a local company.

>>27310464
Gotta be honest, I'm kind of confused. The story doesn't really set the scene, so I can't tell who's doing what or why.

Okay, let me see if I can piece this together -
The protagonist is ... Anon, I guess.
And he has walked (apparently in the middle of the night) to a town. The town is not Ponyville.
There is a cowgirl pony who hits on Anon, but Anon is completely uninterested in ponies for some crazy reason.
Then the statement
>now you know why cowboys can turn women on
suggests this Anon is a male but then lies just to mess with cowpone and get her off his back.
Anon wants to find whores.

Okay, I think I've got it up to this point, but ...
why is Anon looking for whores when he's going out of his way to avoid sexing ponies who are throwing themselves at him? Is he supposed to be some kind of ... private investigator or vengeful pimp on a mission or something?

>>27310508
>>27310557

I'm putting one part out at a time right now from the beginning, fishing for ideas, as most of the story will be told in anon recounting his time among ponies. I got a good deal of the ideas down, and it is rgre enough to be here. I also got sick of doing nothing, having part of the idea in my head, and instead asking for help without anything.

The last part was here
>>27264610
A bit of reworking will be done when I put them together, but I think i have 6 or so more posts to go that i can put out one piece at a time.

The short is Anon came to equestria and after a few months of dealing with twilight, her kingdom and the rgre shit, he is moving to his final option.

Hell from what I understand as I don't keep up with the show as its coming out, twilight trying to control friendship is canon so it makes some parts of the story that would normally be her being to shitty and ooc far less so. Not being able to do what he wants, not being able to get away from the ponies, Twilight and 4 of her friends who actively hunt anon down, and the few ponies that were cool with anon being anon have been banned by the Friendship Kingdom from interacting with anon.

What I need is a plethora of little and major things that irk anon to really move forward. I have a fairly big fuck you moment too, that is something along the lines of this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hoO7PtR0ujY
Hell I laid out a lot of the planning about 2 or so weeks ago, don't want to do that again as the idea is beyond what I can do well.
But I'm guessing that after the first real post of it most people will remember it if they read the initial idea and subsequent brainstorming.

Also, any ponies anon could lightly interact with as a new being to equestria after the Twilight shit happened would also help, the more ponies that I can add that may give a shit about anon the better... right now I have 3, potentially 4 ponies and a possible herd.

>>27310508

>Be Anon
>Wow these ponies are gullible
>Being a treated like a woman got shitty after a while, so you just told them that you're female, and they believed you without even questioning it
>Now, you can resume to normal life
>Well, as normal as it would be in this place
>And instead of "bro", it's "sis"
>Oh well, beggars can't be choosers
>Right now, you're waiting for Rainbow Dash to come over so she can chill with you
>A muffled knock resonates from your door
>Welp, that must be her

>Be Rainbow Dash
>Currently waiting for your awesome sis, Anon, in front of his house
>It was kinda awkward when she first revealed to everypony that he-SHE'S a mare after several weeks of you fantasizing about her, but it's all cool now
>She's great fun to hang out with and handles alcohol better than you do
>The door opens, and his-HER familiar voice greets you
>"Hey Rainbow! Ready to watch the new Daring Do movie on tape?"
>Oh sweet Celestia that baritone voice-NO THAT'S A MARE, RAINBOW DASH. YOU'RE NOT INTO RUBBING CLITS TOGETHER
>But those withers tho
>NO GET OUT GAY THOUGHTS

And more shenanigans ensue, most likely involving RD and other pones questioning their sexuality

>>27310692
ITS NOT GAY IF THE OVARIES DONT TOUCH

>>27310692
I'd read more of that.

>>27310705
In the immortal words of Rooster Teeth in Moon Base Alpha: "It's not gay if it's on the moon". The obvious solution is banishment.

>>27310692
>They go swimming
>Anon loses his trunks and accidentally flashes RD
>"She has a penis! That's close enough!"

>>27310692

>Shy stallion confesses his love for Anon
>Anon rejects him and clarifies his love for horsepussy
>RD(And the other members of Mane 6?) Sweat spaghetti as their lesbian fantasies intensify

>>27310824
>>27310692
>>27310508
>>27310464
I'd be pretty easy tricking poners that you're a female since human men have nippes and stallions don't, now that I think about it.

Anon could just flash his donger at whatever mare he wanted and no one would believe her he's a male because of his nips.

He could also reveal he has both to everyone, and no one would know what to treat him like, being confused since he's clearly stronger than most ponies and he has nipples, but he also has a dick and testicles.

>>27311036
At least with mine, the last link, anon is going by being female on the run, the only way a pony would know 100% that anon is a male is if they had a sperm sample. Even if they saw his penis, he could reasonably claim it being an oviparous and no one would be the wiser unless they were medical professionals due to the nipples.

>>27304491
desu I was expecting this to end with Celestia waking up in her bed alone. After seeing how well Luna and Anon have gotten on with one another in Shukaku's story Celestia might have gotten envious of Luna's relationship.

Glad to be wrong.

>>27310692
This isn't a half bad idea.
Now if only Frosty would finish that story.

BrandNew more Vinyl ever and if so when?

So quick question, who wrote/where is that battle axe anon/celestia story?

>>27312542
ShukakukkukukukukuXX

>>27312508

>In RGRE, Oreos are the pony equivalent of vodka
>it gets them completely wasted with just one bite.
>Rarity tries to get Anon drunk so she can rut him, but the cookies don't work on him

>>27312738
That's less rgre and more ponies are literal marshmallows.

>>27312738
>Anon finds cookies on sale; buys them
>Ponies are concerned when they go by his house and catch him "day-time drinking"

>>27312834
Nonsense. Rarity, a girl, is trying to get Anon, a boy, drunk so that she can easily get sex from him. If TV and the internet have taught me anything, that sort of shit happens to one-in-two women every day.

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>Don't talk to me or my husband's daughter ever again

>>27312852
More the drunk by oreos less the getting him drunk at all part.

>>27312857
>Anon in Equestria
>Sugar works differently here
>The cakes have a "sugar license" to operate SCC
>Anon figures out why at two in the afternoon one day
>Anon gets a reputation as a "party colt" after being found passed out in an alleyway from eating too many cookies
>Mares shake their heads a the sight of a half-empty soda bottle in his hand and cake crumbs on his chin

>>27312900
>anon just took a much needed nap while holding his snacks
>everyone's treating him differentlynow and he doesn't know why

>>27312991
>>27312900
This sounds almost exactly like the "salt is an addictive hard drug for ponies and anon is constantly incriminated for eating it" craze from a year or so ago.

>>27312991
>Rarity approaches you one day.
>Her five other friends stand a short distance away, but their ears are perked and they're shooting poorly-disguised interested glances at you.
>Pinkie Pie in particular looks guilty.
>"Anonymous, honey? You... you KNOW we care about you, don't you?"
"Of course."
>"And you know that we aren't judging you, and we only want what's best for you, right?"
>What's she getting at?"
"Sure."
>Rarity magics a pamphlet over to you: Chocoholics Incognito.

>>27313037
>You are Anonymous, and it has been thirty days since you've last had a sugary treat.
>Pinkie Pie made sure you went to these meetings and even led your friends through your house to find all your Earth-candies.
>They didn't destroy them, of course; Twilight took them to study.
>She was amazed and disappointed at how much sugar humans could sneak into things.
>Here you are, sipping your diet soda (you got a prescription from Doctor Stable due to your "addiction" in hopes of weaning you off of sugar), and considering whether or not you should spend a huge amount of your hard-earned bits on magical door locks.
>Ponyland is suck bullshit.

>>27313196
"such bullshit", not SUCK bullshit. God damn my fingers.

>>27309521
cute stuff, make moar

>>27312900
But whatfore does the boozium do to pone then?

>>27313482
This kills the pone.

>>27313482
Nothing. Alcohol only works as a disinfectant in marshmallowland.

>Pinkie Pie has nightmares about how she had enabled a chocoholic

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I'm still in a pretty bad mood, so here's some more comfy

>You were a pony that loved her books, and over the years you had developed the very useful skill of being able to read in nearly any environment, from the loudest stadiums to the quietest graveyards, but, as you laid in your bed after a LONG day, you couldn't quite... get there
>Not that you weren't READING the book that was floating in front of you, in fact you there tearing through the pages like a fat colt tore through a cake, but you just couldn't get... THERE
>The book didn't absorb you into its world and you weren't able to explore every inch of it like you usually could
>Tonight you were simply reading words that formed into sentences which formed into paragraphs
>But even still you soldiered through the Daring Do book, not because you wanted to read it (you had read this particular book about a dozen times) but because you needed to keep yourself busy
>The mind was a very tricky thing when it wasn't stimulated
>If you weren't careful fears and worries and insecurities that you had buried during the day might go and rear their ugly heads as Luna's moon rose up into the sky
>And, since your noggin had been particularly active these last couple of days, especially around bedtime, you had taken it upon yourself to keep your mind busy, all while ignoring the lingering fear that was clawing at the back of your mind
>It had been another long, long, LONG day
>Your old teacher had asked you to sit in for one of her courts so that you might learn the finer points of governing Equestria, as she had been doing for the past few months
>At first you had been ecstatic
>You were a wet-behind-the-ears Princess of Friendship: Of COURSE you wanted to do all that you could to make the land that you loved a better place
>You had read up on every law book that you could get your hooves on, all the while thinking over all of the ways that you could spread your lessons of harmony and friendship

>>27313661
>But there was no harmony in Canterlot, and there most CERTAINLY wasn't all that much friendship
>Though you had lived in the city all of your life your childhood had been a sheltered one
>Both your parents and Princess Celestia had done everything that they could to keep you out of the city's politics
>So now, to your dismay, you got to see the "game" that the nobility of Canterlot played with each other and the entire city as a whole
>The lying, the backstabbing, juggling ponies lives like they were nothing and meant even less...
>Before you were a princess you had been a nobody
>Somepony that most stallions wouldn't even give a second look
>But now, now that you had a set of wings, which in the nobles eyes meant you had "power", you were the best thing since horn polishers
>Every day stallions were swooning over you, flirting and kissing up to and vying for your attention
>Now you had mares sending you letters trying to get you to join their herds, praising you and all that you've done for Equestria and other such nonsense
>You'll admit that you're a pretty naive pony when it comes to a lot of things, but even you could see the daggers that were hiding behind those ponies backs
>They didn't care about you as a mare, they didn't care about your thoughts or feelings, all they saw was the crown and these wings...
>You sighed as you closed your book, teleporting it onto your shelf before you rolled onto your back, looking up at the ceiling
>When you were little you had always wondered why your old teach didn't have a herd or a special somepony of her own, but now you know
>If you weren't careful the pony that swore up and down that they'd love you always and forever wouldn't be a pony at all
>They'd be a leech; sucking everything out of you and tossing away the empty husk without a second thought...
>Your ears perked up as you heard footsteps coming from down the hall
>You knew those footsteps

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>>27313684
>They weren't the light pitter-patter of Spike's claws, and they weren't the clip-clopping of Starlight's hooves
>These footsteps were heavier, a bit faster than your student and assistant
>He came again tonight?
>A smile quickly wormed its way onto your face as you blew a bit of mane out of your face, all of your worries dissipating, replaced with happiness
>He came again tonight...
>The only stallion that you've ever met that you could be YOU around
>Not Twilight: the Princess of Friendship, but Twilight: the bookworm that liked her fast food a little too much and who may or may not have won a national Yu-Pon-Oh title when she was thirteen years old
>...
>You still have the deck in your closet...
>There was a gentle tapping at your door before you heard the doorknob being turned
>You lifted your head up just a bit just as the door was slowly opened
>Though it had been months since he had lived in your castle, but even now he still had the keys that you had given him, and while he usually got just as lost as Starlight did now he knew his way around just enough to make it to your bedroom without much trouble
>...
>Y-You didn't m-mean it like that!
>Just because he lived in y-your house didn't mean you'd EVER t-take advantage of a stallion like that!
>Especially not him...
>He smiles the moment that he sees you, and just like every time that you see him smile you can't help but blush and feel tingly all over
>You then remember that you're in a rather compromising position, what with you lying on your back with your back legs splayed out like they were
>With a NERVOUS/borderline hysterical giggle you rolled onto your tummy, resisting the urge to cover your face with your wings
>There was a reason that you hadn't had a single coltfriend when you were a unicorn, and sadly that reason hadn't went away because you were a princess now
>You just... froze up around stallions

>>27313711
I'm here for you baby

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>>27313711
>It wasn't your fault
>...You think
>No matter what you did, no matter if the stallion was a knockout or so ugly that his reflection would crack a mirror, you couldn't help but be a sperg around them
>And a dork and a chubby weirdo and...
>...
>You get the point...
>But, while your behavior would have made most stallion's roll their eyes and walk away in disgust, he just smiled; no matter what you said do did or how stupid or cringy it was he just smiled
>And it wasn't a cruel smile that stallions could do so well either; this was an honest, wonderful smile that made your heart flutter and seemed to light up the room
>"I'm sorry that I'm late," he said, stepping into the room and quickly kicking his shoes off. "I had to help Big Mac drag a tree halfway across the farm so we could get it into the barn."
"I-It's alright," you mumble, wiggling nervously as you watched him pull his shirt off, letting you properly see his upper body
>You had never understood why he had insisted on wearing cloths; he looked perfectly wonderful without them on, so much so that it should have been a crime to hide all of THAT away
>You had told him that to his face the second after he had commented needing to get some from Rarity when he had first come into your life
>You then remembered that you were talking to a stallion and promptly broke down into a sweaty, blushy, shimmering mess
>But just as he did now he had laughed that wonderful laugh of his
>His shirt came off, then his s-socks, then his p-pants as he made his way over to you
>You tried not to stare, you knew that it was impolite to stare, you were raised NOT to stare at stallions, but you couldn't help but do so
>Though he wasn't a stallion he was jaw-dropping in every sense of the word
>Mares from all over would(and SHOULD) start wars to get a stallion like this
>He was beautiful, inside and out, he was smart, he was nice
>And he was YOURS
>Your stallion...

>>27313749
JUST PUT IT IN HER BUTT ALREADY

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>>27313749
>Not because he wanted the power that you may or may not have, not because he wanted the easy life living in your castle on your bits
>The two of you had been as thick as thieves long before you had become a princess and you could say, without a BIT of shame, that he probably worked harder in one day than you did in a WEEK
>He cared about you because, for some CRAZY reason, he liked you for the purple weirdo that you were
>In fact HE was the one that had asked YOU out, and looked TERRIFIED as he did it
>HIM, terrified that YOU were going to tell that you weren't interested
>You giggle quietly at the thought as he, in just his underwear, climbed into the bed with you
>The bed, like it always did, creaked under his weight as he crawled toward you
>You rolled back onto your back, making sure that you were decent, and spread your rear hooves out, hooking them around his neck when he got close
"I missed you," you quietly admitted as he picked you up, laying you on top of him as he laid down
>His smile widened as he leaned up and kissed your cheek
>"I was only gone for the day you silly pony," he said as you nuzzled his cheek, relishing in his warmth and touch and his smell
>His smell that smelled smelly in the best possible way
>You know, you were being silly
>Not Applejack silly (nopony could be half as silly as her even if they tried) but you were still being silly
>You KNEW him
>You KNEW that he'd never leave you
>You KNEW that he loved you
>...But there was still that thought that one day you'd sit on this bed waiting for him and he wouldn't knock on that door
>That he'd find somepony else, somepony better and more marely and more confident than you
>Somepony better
>There was somepony better...
>You weren't good enough for him...
>Never good enough...
>As if sensing that your thoughts were turning less than sunny, Anon gave you another sweet peck on the cheek
>His arm looped around your withers, pulling you firmly against him

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>>27313770
>"Who's a pretty pony?" he murmured as you nuzzled him
>Your horn glowed, and with a spell you pulled your blanket over the two of you
>Since he seemed a little cold (or so you told yourself) you made sure to wrap your wings around him nice ang tight, rubbing your cheek against his neck right under his chin
"I'm a pretty pony," you murmured right back
>His smile widened as you settled against him
>You didn't even have to shift around to get comfortable; it was almost like you were made to be pressed up against him like this...
>Anon kissed your cheek again, one of his hands reaching up to flick away the stray tear that was making its way down your face
>You loved him
>"Who's a pretty pony?"
>You loved every bit of him
>You loved how his fingers traced your cutiemark as he held you
>You loved the feeling of his bare skin against the soft fur of your tummy
>You loved every kiss he gave you and how even the little ones were so full of love
>You loved every flaw and every imperfection
>You sniffled, your hooves tightening around your human's neck as the day's hardships make themselves known
"I'm a p-pretty pony."
>In here, in this room, you didn't have to be a marely mare that other mares looked to (Celestia forbid that anypony looked up at you)
>You didn't need to be a princess
>You didn't need to be anything that you didn't want to be
>You could just be... you
>Your human wiped your cheek once again with his thumb as you looked up at him, your lips quivering
>Slowly, you leaned upward with your lips puckered
>Though you knew that you were probably a TERRIBLE kisser Anon nevertheless let out a pleased hum as your lips connected
>Though he was so different from you this felt just as wholesome as when the two of you were lying together
>Your lips were made to be pressed up against his
>You were made to feel his warmth and taste as your heart pounded in your chest

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>>27312853
Explain to me again why Luna is racist.

>>27313794
>With your ears flat against your skull, you shut your eyes as hard as you could, kissing him with all of your might
>Please, please feel the love in this
>Feel how much you mean to me and how lost I am without that smile or your touch or those kisses or your touch
>Please know that I love you with all of my heart and please, please, please, please know that I always will until my heart stops beating
>You whimpered even as a small smile of joy came to your face
>You broke the kiss, pressing your forehead against his
>You opened your watery eyes, staring directly into his, your breathing just a hair ragged
>"Yes, you are a pretty pony, Twilight," he whispered, giving you a kiss on the nose before nuzzling your face. "And never, EVER let anyone tell you different."
>Now you understand why your old teacher never took a herd or got herself a special somepony
>But, as you found yourself being lulled to sleep by your human's warmth and the feeling of his heart gently beating against your chest, you can't for the life of you understand how she managed so long without being whole

>>27313820
Alright, I'm done

>>27313828
I want to cuddle the cute pony.

>>27313828
Oh my god, that was cute. LaP, your writing makes me like ponies I normally do not.

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>>27313828
MUH WAIFU

>>27313018
This was a good craze unlike this shit. because salt inhibits magic and you know it. All the salt circles and that shit.

>>27313828
Shyamalamadingdong ring: everyone actually loves Twilight. The letters are sincere. But the bitter, unloved past Twilight will never believe them.
Most of those that try courting her are actually in awe of who she is, and not of what she can do for their family.
With every day that she doesn't care to reply, their hope of sharing a good moment with Twilywily dies, little by little. A Princess can't just spend her time on lowly non-princely ponies just like that...

I'm also headcanonizing the fact that Applejack is the silliest pony in the good sense i.e. the most romantic of romantics, and no Raras or Rararas can get to her level.

Also Twily is a pretty pony.

>>27314026
>Implying hicks are romantic

>>27314026
>But the bitter, unloved past Twilight will never believe them.
>Most of those that try courting her are actually in awe of who she is, and not of what she can do for their family.
>With every day that she doesn't care to reply, their hope of sharing a good moment with Twilywily dies, little by little. A Princess can't just spend her time on lowly non-princely ponies just like that...
No wonder Canterlot seems to devoid of Love and Friendship to her.

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>>27313820
>>27313828
hhhhngggg

>>27313661
>If you weren't careful fears and worries and insecurities that you had buried during the day might go and rear their ugly heads as Luna's moon rose up into the sky
>And, since your noggin had been particularly active these last couple of days, especially around bedtime, you had taken it upon yourself to keep your mind busy, all while ignoring the lingering fear that was clawing at the back of your mind

Oh, Twiggy Piggy, I have felt that feel.

>>27312402
Well, I'll be honest with ya. The story queue goes like:

-Minotits
-DD2
-Overprotective Celestia 2 (maybe?)
-Random oneshots

So you'd fit in the Random oneshots category with your request. I'm not saying no, never, but - I'm not saying it'll happen this week.

A few bits of advice/info for you guys.
1. Writing erotic horse fiction at work can make it awkward if you're bad at hiding your... happiness.
2. This clop scene is probably gonna be pretty long. It's easily broken 1k words, and I'm halfway through the foreplay.
3. As an aunt, a bouncy castle is a good investment if you have a number of nieces and nephews.

>>27314038
She is 300% romantic, but she has to hide it.
If you were to wife her, ponies would write books about your marriage. Very books.

>>27314455
Do you feel dirty doing it, dad?

>>27313828
Man, that was pretty solid. I haven't read a good Twi fic in a while.

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>>27314455
Coolio.

>>27312853

>Twilight being a cuck and raising another mare's daughter

Why is this so funny?

>>27313711

>Yu-Pon-Oh

Card Games in RGRE, when?

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>>27313818

>>27314492
How could I? I'm writing the pure love between a man and a horse. Nothing is better.

>>27314551
>not Po-Ni-Oh


Starswirl: the Gathering

>>27314614
Truly you are an inspiration for us all, dad. If everyone in the world was willing to sacrifice their time at work to write erotic horse words for people they will never meet, the world would be a better place.

[Spoiler] or there would at least be more horse porn in it, which can't possibly be a bad thing. [/spoiler]

>>27314673
God damn mobile automatically capitalizing the word spoiler, I guess I'll just go kill myself.

The sex toy market must cater to stallions in RGRE, which sounds amazing. They've got different types of material for the onahole, beads inside of it, vibrating shit inside of it, something that tickles their balls, all kinds of shit. Mares just have a stick of plastic that breaks every three or four months.

>>27314793
Anon opens a sex shop targeted for mares. Even models some after his own dick.
Has Demo days, where mares can come in and try out new products. With his assistance of course.
Stallyns get mad and try to shut him down. They wake up with "the barbed beast" dildos in their ass. They do not come out easy.

>>27314836
Anon just has a pile of Q&A pamphlets by the door for customers to pick up. Questions such as, "Is this too big for me?", "How fast will this make me cum?", and "How does this stand up to repeated use?" are ALL questions that he's willing to help each and every mare find the answer to.

>Stallyns get mad and try to shut him down.
Anon'd just re-open shop selling "post-modern art-deco" and have all the dildos marked as tasteful centrepieces.

>"the barbed beast"
Anon has griffon friends that owe him some favours.

>>27314528
Because it's totally in-character for her to do that.

>>27314667

I don't play Magic, so I wouldn't really get all the references. Would they let Anon play with his cards from another world?

>>27313828
very nice, gud work friendo, hope you get through your struggle

>>27314455
aww yiss

>>27314967

Does that make the Luna in Shuk's story a cuck for marrying Anon, which means agreeing to be Venus's mom as well?

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>>27313770
>>You know, you were being silly
>>Not Applejack silly (nopony could be half as silly as her even if they tried)
fite me irl m8

>>27315280
Oh god. Well, she'a borderline cuck due to Anon being out of the Lovehorse pussy game and going to be taking a treasure dive in her's next update.

>>27315477

>Cadence calls Luna a cuck for having her sloppy seconds

How would Luna react to that?

>>27315529
Luna got Anon's first Anal time. Something Cadence didn't get.

>>27315529
poorly. Battleaxe to the head poorly.

>>27315545

Hawt. Would Luna even be into anal though? I know in RGRE, mares liking anal is supposed to be equivalent to IRL guys liking anal, but Luna is old school. Would she think it's disgusting?

>>27315578
Maybe, but after being unfucked for a thousand years, wouldn't she want all the sex she can get?

>>27315608
Point.

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>>27315616
>>27315608
Hey guys.

>>27315529
>Cadence calls Luna a cuck for having her sloppy seconds
How would Anon react to that?

>>27315608
I'm pretty sure that Anon could die from all that snu snu if Luna really wanted to "catch up with the times"

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>>27315642
Talk shit, get hit.

>>27315642
Ask her how long her husband lasts. Laugh at the answer. Rub in the fact that, even with magic, she'll never have it as good as she did. Then go back to the castle and put Luna through her paces as loudly and longly as possible.

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>>27307640

APA. You fucking win. I can't even. I didn't expect a fucking doom joke. Wait let me check.... Nope still can't even.

I may not have a writer in this general I dislike, but fug do you have top rank in who makes me laugh.

>>27315477
I wouldn't consider this actual cuck scenario. Isn't that more if the girl (or stallion in this case) sleeps with someone else while you are in a relationship?

>>27315681
Ye of little faith.

>>27315642
again poorly. boot up the ass poorly.

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>>27307640
I read this multiple times, and still laugh errytiem

>>27315642
Anon calls her "the warm up before a real mare."

>>27315545
>Luna equips a strap on as Anon lubes up his boypussy.

>Anon is able to cum more than once per week.
>Able to last more than 8 seconds.
>Masturbates to last longer in bed and doesn't pass out because of it.
>Able to take on dozens of mares before a single orgasm.

Cadence's FW she'll never get that back.

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>>27315937

>>27313828
Comfy as fuck, I almost want you to stay upset so we get a Luna version.

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>>27315997

>>27314793
>>27314836
>"So, ah... so this is the stuff, right? This'll work?"
>The purple winged, horned mare infront of you with the impenetrable fake mustache disguise slides forward a bottle of lube
>You look it over a bit
"Hmm. That depends - what's your cooler made out of-"
>"Aah! It's uh, it's for a fr-friend, not for me. I, I don't need one of those."
>She coughs into her hoof, playing it cool
>You shrug
"Well, mystery mare, you seem like a cool gal-"
>"R-really?!" The smile that spreads across her face causes her mustache to sag
>Aww
"-I never PEGGED you for a mare to like only other mares-"
>"N-no! I mean, no! This is for me-"
>You hum softly
"So, what's the material of your cooler?"
>You make eye contact with her and smile softly, and a deep crimson blush spreads across her face
>aww
>"Nnh.. I-it's... tempered crystal-"
>You whistle softly
"Well. That's quite a purchase-"
>"Y-yeah. I have, uh, live in family-"
"Aaah. Say no more. Most any lubricant will work with that; that said, I'm assuming it's smooth all around?"
>She nods, not meeting your eyes anymore
>It's ok, little mare. Everypony clops.
"Well, you may want to splurge for one of the specialty lotions I've got in - heat and cool, there's tingling sensations, and one that even mimics a throbbing sensation, from what I've heard. That'll give it a little more life than cold crystal."
>"R-really?! That's.... " she lets out a breathy sigh. "oh wow, that sounds amazing."
"Well. Take a look - I'll be here."
>"O-ok."
>You smile as Twilight eagerly trots over to the lubricant section, her tail flicking back and forth
>Poor thing, spring must be hitting her hard.
>Today was a sex-shop owner kinda day.

>>27316161
>"Family Values" Stallions protesting a sex shop.
>Anon shoos them off with a giant, floppy dildobat.

>>27316196
>dildobat
>You are Anon
>And you were a pleb, trying to chase off styllyons with floppy dildo bats
>But they took that as you triumphing with the male form, blah blah blah
>It backfired, ok?
>So now, you've graduated
>no more dildo bats
>No
>You smile as a loud, oboxious stallion stands outside your shop, yelling at your mirrored windows
>You grip the fabric
>Soon
>now, in fact
>You kick open your own door, running outside
>"-and NO self-loving styllyyn would eve-EEEE! GET THAT AWAY FROM M-"
>With a grunt you toss your vagina-net over the squealing myn pyg
>Ugh
>The warm vagina-net smothers him against the pavement, his hooves flailing against his constricting prison
>"Nooo! The freudian undertones are too muuuuuch~"
>You pull out your floppy dildo-bat and begin nudging him gently with it
"I AM YOUR MOTHER AND I AM DISPLEASED"
>Passing pones start tossing bits at your feet
>Today was a "the best way to get rid of these fucks is to turn it into performance art" kinda day

>>27316161
oddly adorable

seems like no matter what little mares are doing theyre always adorable

>>27316317
Uh... how exactly does a vagina net look? Is it just a bunch of silicon vaginas attached to the netting?

>>27316343
I was thinking more just a giant, heavy vagina-shaped blanket. He just got enveloped in it, and it's all really.... really suggestive.

Great for business, actually.

>>27315997

You know we make jokes about human sexual stamina being better than pony sexual stamina, but men still have refractory periods.

Maybe in RGE, mares have refractory periods and stallions don't?

>>27316432
So a stallion can turn into a machine gun, is that what you're saying?

>>27316630
Fully automatic Ponerifle.

>>27316630
>>27316760

I hate to be a Fun Nazi, but RGRE stallions not having SEXUAL refractory periods would make sense.

Ponies are a prey species, and RGRE are generally lower in number compared to mares.

A lack of refractory period provides a reproductive advantage in that a stallion could impregnate more mares in less time, allowing for the continued survival of the species.

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>>27316317
>vagina-net
>not throwing dong-ring

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>>27302265
>Spike comes up to Anon
>Gives him his card
>"I'd really like to check out your dick, Anon"

wat do?

>>27316935
Grade A edit, my good sir.

>>27316856
No way can a refractory period be a bottleneck in reproduction.

>>27316935
10/10 edit. I'm impressed.

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I-Is Amphetanon kill?

>>27316960

Probably not, just throwing ideas out there.

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>>27316391
>>27316317
>>27316343
>Uh... how exactly does a vagina net look?
Obligatory comic is obligatory.

Shit, I totally didn't see that you posted >>27316935 when I posted >>27317058. Excellent edit, friendo, I may have to steal that to identify secret gentlemen.

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>>27316953
>>27316968
>>27317100
>mfw I'm a staunch anti-donger but I'm peddling dong rings under the table

>>27317108
this meme isnt even funny

why do you people keep pushing it

>>27317108
You can't build a multibillion dollar business on being anti-dongring. Sometimes you just need to accept that the world is what it is.

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>>27317125
>dong ring
>meme
>not funny

>>27317125
Welcome to the anti-donger camp, friend.

>>27316856
At some point, males run out of sperm. If anything, refractory periods means that too much isn't used at once. Cumming until you are empty in the span of a few minutes because the pussy too strong isn't all that adaptive.

>>27317336
They also show a remarkable absence of common sense. I'd say evolutionary advantages weren't too high on the list when you consider that magic is on the table.

>>27314182
Yay minotits!

>>27317913
Maybe by the end of the month.

MAYBE.

>>27314455
>Writing erotic horse fiction at work
During your break, right?

>>27318484
Probably has some of his coworkers proofread.

>>27318202
Why must you tease me so?

>>27313828
Cute and feels. Well done LaP.

>>27314455
>3. As an aunt, a bouncy castle is a good investment if you have a number of nieces and nephews.

Somehow I'm seeing Prince Blueblood joining in on the bouncy castle.

Drunk bouncy castle sex when? That sounds like something Anon would think of.

>>27318898
I want to cum inside Bouncy Castle.

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What would (you) do if you saw a stallion being molested by a mare in public?

>>27318898
>"Luna? Do you want to explain why there's semen and vomit in the Royal Bouncy Castle?"

>>27318952
>Uhh...the vomit was there when we came?

>>27318961
That just raises more questions than answers.

>>27318923
Simple. I'd ask if I can join and double team the stallion with the mare.

>>27318923
Molest the mare.

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>>27319077
>>27319059

>>27318923
>rape

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>>27319097

>>27319135
I love the idea of an extremely flustered Celestia losing her cool and childishly yelling the pic's text at Anon, possibly prefaced by a "Sh-shut up!"

Misogyny = muh soggy knees
Misandry = ???

>>27319196
Muh sandy ree's

>>27319196
Muh sand bees

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>>27319156
>>27319135
>>27319097
>Prudelestia in RGRE.
>Goes around getting into ponies lives and telling them to save themselves until marriage.
>Equestria is a unparalleled haven for decency and family values.

>Luna rebelled herself herself against her sister during her teenage years, horse hormones driving her into deviant desires and all that.
>She now listens to her older and wiser sister, but she still feels the lewd call of Nightmare Moon.

>Twilight is Celestia's little pet; following her teachings to the letter.
>It's easy for her to do so of course, being a high society pony, a princess and a humongous, shut-in nerd.
>She has spent her whole life with her face on a book and she doesn't even know what a dick looks like, since Celestia had all of the graphic anatomical depictions of stallions and mares removed from books and media.

>Other ponies including the other elements go around their normal lives as if nothing was wrong.
>They only have problems following Celestia's teaching during their estrus, and most ponies shut themselves during the strongest part of it.

>Cue Anon "Rape Monkey" Ynous, Anticitizen One enters, the scene.

>>27319135
>You roll your eyes. How boring is this shit?
>You are Anonymous. This is the Gala, and you've been asked to dance by the fifteenth mare tonight.
>"What is the matter Anonymous? Are you not enjoying yourself?"
>An Ivory wing drapes itself over your shoulder, to which you brush it off.
"Remember that talk we had about personal space...?"
>"O-oh! Right! I forget myself in the presence of g-good friends."
>Her eyes trail down your body to your crotch.
"Yeah sure. I'm not a piece of meat."
>"I didn't m-mean to imply-"
>You put a hand up, and look away.
"Save it. I can't believe I accepted an invite here. All you mares do is ogle me, and try to feel me up! Not counting I'm like..one of six males here."
>Celestia puffs her cheeks out.
>"That's not true at all! Sure you may be a strapping young male, and quite approachable, but I assure you my little ponies have the utmost pure intentions behind it!"
"Celestia please. For all your talk of being "Pure", and such, you horses are nothing but boy-hungry lewd, molesting fruits you la la homo pony-"
>Celestia scowls and softly bangs on the table trying not to raise a scene. It's not really audible but it catches your attention.
>"We are not lewd! Ponies are a proud and noble race!"
>You cross your arms.
"Is that so?"
>She nods.
>You think for a second, remembering something you did long ago to Twilight's mom.
>Celestia turns her head in faux disgust.
>What you're about to do right is possibly one of the most single-handedly autistic things a man could do.
>You look around, and start to work your slacks down to your ankles.
>Celestia peeks at you, her jaw dropping.
>"Wh-what are you doing?! What if somepony sees you?!"
>Your flaccid member hangs in the open like a boss. You and the princess are sitting with your backs to the wall, so there's no danger of being seen luckily.
"You know..you're so much hotter than your sister, Princess Celestia."
>"S-stop hitting on me Anon!"
1/

>There are SJW colts bothering mares on a daily basis for their "privledges"
>Anon decides to speak out against the stallionist groups
>Puts up an extremely offensive stance to gain attention
"Let's talk stallionism-the idealism that has now been twisted into a misogynistic cult by blubbery whales that dare call themselves male. Any comments?"
>"You're a racist homophobe!"
"Oh yeah, like I haven't heard that one before. Listen up, all you dumb cunts. First things first, you're insulting the green man here, I should be the one playing the race card on you. Second, I grab more stallion meat than you ever will in your entire life on a daily basis, although mares are also welcome. Looking at you, ladies in the crowd."

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>>27319323
>She turns red, her eyes stealing glances at your skin.
>"P-please make yourself decent!"
"What I'm Trying to say Princess is that I want to fuck you."
>"S-stop!
"HARD."
>"PLEASE. Somepony could hear..."
>Using the magic words of Apache Chief that I refuse to look up and spell you make Trunknon grow to his full length of a whooping five inches.
"BEHOLD."
>"ANON,"
"Imagine this-"
>You form a triangle with your hands around it.
>"N-No stop!"
"Pounding into you-"
>"P-Pounding?!"
"For between 15 to 20 minutes-"
>"O-OOH MY GOSH."
>She covers her mouth, looking around frantically.
"I mean, I'd eat you out before we fuck-"
>"I-I can't--"
"For at LEAST half an hour."
>"Th-that's so long--!"
>You grin, and make your meat bunny hop.
"Get you nice, and sloppy."
>"Unf"
>Celestia scans the room once more.
>"S-shall we go somewhere more pr-private, and get m-me all "nice, and sloppy"..?"
>Her horn seems to be throbbing, and her wings have unfurled completely.
>Smdh family
>You angrily pull your pants back up, making yourself presentable.
"I'm not a piece of fucking meat for your sexual gratification, you misandry practicing scumbag!"
>You storm out of the room, leaving princess Celestia with the worst case of Pony Blueballs known to equinekind.
She shortly died after.

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>>27319396
>Death from blue beaning

>>27319396
kek
shouts comics are the best

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>>27319396
>>27319323
Mh. It's almost as if I have read that somewhere else...

Oh, wait. I have.

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>>27319459
That was the point.

>>27319396
>She shortly died after.

maximumkek.jpg

Question Anons, how do I write about fillies without it being creepy? Just cute pony stuff?

>>27319469
A very unoriginal point, then.

>>27319527
>What is fun?

>>27319515
>how do I write about fillies without it being creepy?
Write if from the fillies perspective.

If it's lewd with filles then there's no helping you, Anon.

>>27319527
Someone's got sand in their vagina. Chill out faggot. It was just a joke oneshot the guy wrote.

>>27319535
Hm...would work and I'd be able to make it RGRE enough for the thread since that view point has it already embeded

>>27319298
>Anon "Rape Monkey" Ynous, Anticitizen One
You cant spell "rape" without "ape".
You can't spell MurderApe without rape either, dose dragon bootays are gonna get it too

>>27319396
Exploded ovaries.

>>27319527
The execution was good, originality is not essential.

>>27319515
The key is to not care whether other people would find it creepy.
You can also throw in some body-horror for extra funzies.

>Be Filly Applebloom, like regular Applebloom but a childpone.
>You just finished your daily potions session with the town potions master, Anon.
>You made these awesome blue crystals today
>Loads of them
>Like it took two carts to get them out of his lab
>You got to keep a bucketfull of them with the warning not to consume them yourself
>Duh, of course you aren't going to eat them, you're not a dragon.
>Which is why you're going to give them to Spike as a Hearts and Hooves day gift

>Still be Filly Applebloom, but it's a week later
>Spike LOVED the gift
>He's been following you around for a day now begging you for more of the blue crystals
>He's also given you a necklace made of dragon teeth, it's quite nice.
>It's nice having Spike cuddle you.

>>27319682
He made pony meth didn't he?

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>>27319690
You're goddamn right.

>>27319682
god damnit meth Anon, we know the Apples are supposed to be hicks but this is a bit much.

>>27316082
Yeah, you stay mad, worst horse.

>>27316075
As much as I hate to see anyone upset, I really would like some comfy Luna, too.

>>27318961
Nicely done anon *golf clap*

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>>27319459
>>27319527

>>27319396

ENUK CHUK

>>27310692
>your awesome sis, Anon, in front of his house
You fucked up

>>27320088
She is obviously confuese

>>27316968
Daring Do raiding a dragon's cave for his dong ring when?
It's like a panty raid, but for the mareliest of mares.

>>27318484
Whenever I'm not dealing with customers.
>>27318484
There are no co-workers when I'm working.

>>27320422
Now I imagine you accidentally slipping and revealing your power level to customers after writing every pony to much in dialogue, or a creepy smile as you write horseporn

>>27320520
He always wants the biggest donuts possible.

>>27320667
*ponuts
FTFY

>>27320667
They key anon is to find a big ponut with a small hole. That's the key, anon. That's the key.

Would ponuts smell like pastry?

>>27320800
Pinkie's would but that's natural. Twilight would smell like vegan fast food, so make of that what you will.

>>27320813
>vegan fast food
Oh god, I think I'm going to be sick.

>>27320520
truestory.jpg
>At wok
>Talking to coworkers about chest hair
>Slip up and call it "chest fur"
>They didn't notice
I think I spend too much time on /mlp/.

>>27320833
>organic mustard
>free-range corn
>some kind of bean paste
And it all costs four times as much as regular fast food.