/brit/

>>69104405

ah yes, this would certainly happen.

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Asuka.

can feel the histamines in my body causing my insides to itch

>>69104405
t-that won't happen

>>69104393
cant tell if this santa is 5 ft or 6 ft tall


WHAT IS THAT LINE TRYING TO SAY HOW SMALL CAN HE BE

>>69104393
*throws a pie at your face*

Almost in tears looking at kevin boyles holiday pics while listening to my immortal

>>69104455
dah-LEET this.

INSTANTLY.

Fisting me arse lads

Can somebody explain the phenomenon of having a fitness tracker motivate you?

I could run every day and get better yet I wasn't motivated to keep it up but having a fitness tracker beep once a day and say I'm not doing enough exercise motivates me.

Am I childish or is there some really simple logic behind this??

business idea: put e's at the ende of words to make them sounde french

>>69104347
wait, did IMG_1142 post the full picture on here? what a top lad

>>69104455
wonder why some guy is carrying a mirror out of my mum's room in the middle of the night.

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What the fuck was his problem, /brit/?

>>69104479
*Crawls up inside your ass*

Ah yes, so this is where you've been hiding the runts.

>>69104393

>Mfw robbed of a York university offer
>family don't even care
>don't get it in the end due to domestic problems

Ah yes, this is why drinking makes every day easier

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>>69104482
le elephante

>>69104455
Delete this post mate.

feel good about death 2017

>>69104493
He was a pretty good PM tbqh

>>69104455
Fuck that's a nice cock

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hmm

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>>69104483
yeah haha he's a strange bloke

*seizes all the runts from paddy's rectum*

>>69104481
Seen some amount of heffer normies wearing a FitBit™. It's just mindless normoids following trends. Same reason they buy smart watches, smart TVs, beats headphones etc. They just do what the adverts tell them to.

how come noncing is forbidden while having sex with old hags is ok

craving some coke but holding off until at least nye

>>69104481
that's literally why they exist you fucking mong

>>69103365
>>69103465
alri Autismo

My Charlie Bingham's mac n' cheese just finished cooking lads

>>69104529
now you know what it's like waitu piggu

>>69104553
you don't traumatise old people and fuck up their development when you fuck them

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>>69104529
Really evoked brain juices

>>69104481
Video game conditioning.

>>69104579
FOB

>>69104584
what if the children is consenting to discovering sexuality

>>69104553
our generation should start the movement of it being ok to have sex with kids

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>back to work soon

>>69104547
But I've got a fitbit and it's really good.

It motivates me and I exercise more. What's wrong with that? Or are you just being supercilious.

>>69104570
Yes but why? I don't understand why it makes me feel like exercising just because it gives me some stats.

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>2017

>>69104616
children can't consent as they're fucking stupid

>>69104560
i did it properly for the first time last night, was sniffing it for 10 hours straight. i thought i was going to OD at one point because at around 5am i shoveled down 10 fat lines in the space of 10 minutes.

it was a really good experience, but i'm never doing it again desu

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gave her a white christmas lads

craving some coke but only pepsi in the house

THIS IS A FUCKING HETEROSEXUAL, CHRISTIAN GENERAL

IF YOU AREN'T BOTH YOU CAN FUCK OFF BACK TO WHATEVER SHITE DEGENERATE BOARD YOU CAME FROM

>>>/lgbt/
>>>/mlp/
>>>/b/

NOW FUCK OFF

>>69104643
>i'm never doing it again

that's what they all say

>>69104655
umm no sweetie xxx

>>69104627
Same reason listen to "motivational" music while they lift, it's just a way for people to lock in

if you were in uni and you didn't receive any grades, you'd not give a fuck about how well or much you study, right?

>>69104655
fuck off leaf this is a non-rorke general

>>69104648
what an incredibly irish looking boy

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2016/12/26/barack-obama-says-democrats-will-not-disintegrate-like-labour/

LMAO

THE STATE OF LABOUR

ABSOLUTELY ROASTED BY LE COOL BLACK MAN

>>69104619
I've got to go back on Wednesday, literally only need to be there to pick up phone calls cos there's fuck all normal work to do. I could just divert the calls to my mobile and just stay at home but they won't let me, and their internet blocks 4chan so I'll have to shitpost from my phone.

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>>69104529
>you will live to see Idris Elba portray Wernher von Braun in the inevitable Hollywood blockbuster biopic

official gf poll

http://www.strawpoll.me/11960108

http://www.strawpoll.me/11960108

http://www.strawpoll.me/11960108

>>69104648
they could name their child Tyrone and both would be totally fine with it

>>69104690
he's right though

labour are in a state and they're not coming back for a while

thirsty for cock but all we have is Hi-C and milk

will have to wait for new years ever

>>69104677
Fair enough, not sure if I'm disappointed or surprised at how simple my mind is with stuff like this.

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>left an entire semester worth of essays to do in a week
is it possible lads?

>>69104713
kek

redpill me on the mandem

>>69104648
lol, looks like a right runt (read: Irish).

>AH YEA. qw somn#tCARE anon was cheated pt of his York university position which ould've made his life bettter episee

>>69104573
both of those posts were me
quite cool they were exactly 100 posts apart haha

>>69104728
i once wrote a 1600 word essay in less than 2 hours and got a good grade for it

>>69104690
would be funny if the democratic party absolutely fell into shambles over the next 2-3 years thanks to barry's words

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Can't stop wanking, it's always the same when I have a hangover

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>>69104728
Anything is possible

man's on road

bet Harrogate and Durham are filled with Southerners kek

>>69104710
ive already sent in my registration card, im all in this year. i know im in for a tough relegation battle though

it's funny seeing that York is apparently a really good uni in the UK. Our York is a shitheap leftist uni

>>69104805
im on the road and i cant see them

*farts*
*inhales*

hmmm yes, quite pungent indeed, splendid

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who /turkgf2017/ here

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>140 character essay due tomorrow
>haven't started

>>69104655
What if I prefer 2D?

>>69104690
Can you imagine being so shit at your job that Barack Obama himself even uses you as an example of how not to lead a party?

Christ, time for Corbyn to go.

>>69104821
everything about canada is leftist and shitheapish

>>69104821
all north american universities are leftist marxist paradises

>when you start sexting with one of the girls in the group chat that you've known for ages

quite cheeky

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You wake up in Motherwell, Scotland

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/pakigf2017/, yeah?

>>69104845
had a turkish gf during my college years, best gf i ever had

>>69104845
strong looking hips

love me some bitches with strong hips

>>69104783
do you find that wanking is really, really good when you have been drinking heavily the night before? i first noticed this at uni, got really drunk and had sex with this girl i was sleeping with who was also really drunk. then the next morning we had sex three times, i came really fast each time because the physical sensation was way more intense than usual. there must be a reason for this

who /poo2017/ here?

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It's all about /daddyissuesgf2017/ lads.

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>>69104881
boom

>>69104881
Grim
*snorts a full heroine*

>>69104690
JEZZA ON STATE-FUNDED SUICIDE WATCH

>>69104884
Need to complete black gf first

>>69104821

>Mfw shithead brother comes back from the army because it was too tough for him and ruins my chances of York univsersity, puts me under a shit load of mental stres sduring exma, ,begin shitting blood and everything

is it as magical as I hoped?

>>69104910
whats that? are you holding in a poo until 2017? or for the duration of 2017?

>>69104912

yeah nah. she'll clean your bank account out and get you arrested.

>>69104884
*slaps the fuck out of her*

where is your hijab?

>>69104923
That's gonna be tricky where you live, no?

>>69104690
>>69104859
>says the guy that has Donald Trump as his political successor

>>69104910
me

im gonna have so many poos in 2017

>>69104934
have a healthy poo every day

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you wake up in Marseille 14th arondissement...

>>69104690
>lost the presidency
>lost the House
>lost the Senate
>will lose the Supreme Court

ah yes, the Democrats AREN'T going to disintegrate like Labour.

very interesting!

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>Obama was a terrible president, Trump will do much better

>>69104912
need a gf like this desu
i bet she'd fetishize my self harm scars

>>69104949
very, but I'm optimistic

>>69104947
some pakis are christian

>>69104960
At least the weather will be nice.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/journalists/rebecca-reid/

ah yes

>>69104960
*shoves pain au chocolat into anus*

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>self harm scars

>>69105010
the only nice thing about marseille haha

Gonna get drunk more and eat a snowman cake, which Black books do I watch nrext? already seen blackout and security system episode?

>>69104969
when people get bored of the republicans and trump for not waving a magic wand and making america into a utopia the dems will be in power again

thats how american politics goes. "im tired of the last guys!" 4-6-8 years later "wow the guys we elected sure were shit, lets get the blue team in here gain!" 4-6-8.. "its time to make america hope again, team red its youre time to shine!!!!" rinse, repeat

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>you wake up outside KFC in Blackpool

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you wake up in camden new jersey

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>>69104960
That's the place that pic related is based off innit

>>69105059
*takes Millie B home and shags her*

Might just start smoking to fuck u0 my lungs despite coughing like a smoker and never touching a cigarette.

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Personally my goal is /butterfacegf2017/

>>69105068
that looks a lot like grim suburban british terraced houses

>>69105068
can't wake up

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You wake up in South Auckland

>>69105079
her brother dylan brewer would stab you mate

>>69104445
>''''art'''''

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>>69105068
i'd assume this were anywhere in britain if it weren't for the background and the black guy

>>69105068
Looks just as much of a shithole as the camden in London tbqh

>>69105084
jesus that body

>>69105093
>suburban british terraced houses
Doesn't exist mate, terraced houses are in towns and cities.

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You wake up in Oldham, one of the most deprived areas in the country.

>>69105054
yeah our politics was like that in 2010

now it's a fucking madhouse

Labour Scrolls IV: Electoral Oblivion and the 1000 Years Tory Reich are daily things we have to deal with in Britain.

also UKIP and LibDems sporadically surge and collapse every other week.

>>69105077
banlieue 13 was filmed in romanian commieblocks
says a lot about the state of the ends in marseille

In Lithuania lads
Just got a bottle of vodka for 4 euros drinking that in bed now

who /rotten/ here?

>>69105109
no problem, I'll shoot him before he has a chance

favourite dip?

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you wake up in Bradford, West Yorkshire

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Gary Lineker @GaryLineker
The MOTD running order: Che/Bou, ManU/Sun, Swa/WHU, Hull/ManC, Ars/WBA, wat/CP, Lei/Eve, Bur/Boro. Some sensational goals. @BBCOne 10.55

what did he mean by this

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how I imagine the Dane/German is viewing the downfall of the West

>>69105118
also ill clear this up before someone from britain says "we have black guys too!!1!"


this is a black guy with sandals

a slice of americana

>>69105128

Oldham once produced more cotton than France and Germany combined

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Were any irish lads on henry street/ jervis shopping centre lately? It was like fucking nigeria today, never seen so many blacks in one place

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you wake up in Sevran Beaudottes...

>>69105127
Rural terraced houses are a thing.

Around here they are anyway.

>>69105068
PHILLY SKYLINE MENTIONED

>>69105127
yes

in the suburbs of towns and cities

for example the entire north west of london

>>69105163
sounds like hes reading out a dead mans switch code


where is julian assange????????????????????????????????

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>>69105174
Haven't been to the capital in over a year if you discount Blanchardstown.

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you wake up in london

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>>69105174
I'll go tomorrow

great chance to find a black gf if true

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you wake up in a Birmingham canal boat

what names make you instantly hate a person?

>Jaxon
>Chad
>Skyler
>Brett

why are yank names so fucking horrible?

#@!£

>>69104960
*dies in race riot*

then i put the strap to my own head like boy im on one

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Need a chubby gf to sit and eat pizza with

>>69105220
*goes back to bed and tries again*

>>69105199
NW london is mostly victorian

>>69105220
>*muezzin wails in the distance*

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>>69105245
>>Jaxon
>>Chad
>>Skyler
>>Brett

>he still has to fill out a captcha
lol cucks

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you wake up in the flat spracklen house dukes place marlow

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you wake up in the northern powerhouse

any irish here?

is a potato a vegetable?

>>69105270
I live in London and I only hear church bells everyday

If you live in the North, you have a 90% chance of waking up to Islamic prayer calls

>>69105264
stop contradicting me you fucking spanner

>>69105262
>Chubby

that's morbid obesity

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You wake up in the city of Cork, Ireland

how much money do you give to 4chan each year

personally £0

>>69105163
>Swansea win 3-0
>on last
>Swansea lose by the same aggregate
>on third

fuck MOTD man, they hate the Welsh.

>>69105311
Um that's not cork city sweetie

>>69105262
i love chubby women but my dik too small

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>>69105296
yes

>>69105128
i actually do this every day

>my granddad tells me his father was a cavalryman in ww1
>ask him if he ever told him any war stories
>"..no, people didn't talk about it. he was either away with the army or in the pub when he was alive anyway"
jesus christ granddad, bit of a downer

*starts violently shaking*

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you wake up

>>69105335
>no one cares about relegation fodder

stop the presses

>>69105262
JAYE ROSE
A
Y
E

R
O
S
E

She's like the living embodiment of Britslaggery

have to go to stratford, fuck

>yanks literally pay $50k a semester to go to some shitty state university

fucking hell

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You wake up in the Czech Republic

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4y5ovWd6neQ

mandem tune

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You can't wake up inside.

>>69105351
he's just being honest

just drunk a whole carton of tropicana

>>69105346
For the millionth time, you don't need a big willy to fuck a chubby girl

>>69105386
West Ham are relegation fodder.

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>>69105394
(CAN'T WAKE UP)

Need a comfy film where a boy and girl are mates but they both fancy each other but they act like they don't but then they slowly start to express their feelings tbqh.

>>69105420
did it have juicy bits?

>>69105390

Mandi dee mentioned

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Da See gulls are gowan up

>>69105452
my life

>>69105452
perks of being a wallflower

fuck sake my mam mentioned never seeing me with a girlfriend or boyfriend and saying i can bring someone home if i want, for the second day in a row

is this going to be a regular thing now

>>69105452
the shining

>>69105420
good tribute to George Michael

>>69105423
would probably help though

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WAKE ME UP

>>69105424
they just won 4-1 and have won their last 3 in a row, they'll easily stay up

>lazing around house
>decide to put trousers and dress shirt on
>it's actually pretty comfy

might change my whole wardrobe to just dress clothes desu

makes me look like i actually have a job too

Would really like to fuck Fran from Black books

>>69105452
Friends

>>69105452
kes

>>69105472
she just wants a family to love anon

>>69105472

she suspects you're a bender?

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You wake up in Lewisham

>>69105472
>got a girlfriend yet son?
>no
>... a boyfriend?

>>69105452
me, earl, and the dying girl was good....

>>69105423
reckon you need a very long one to do doggy style unless she's flexible enough to have a lot of anterior pelvic tilt, which I assume she isn't

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you wake up in a pub in the Cotswolds

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>>69105472

>>69105472
My parents don't give a shit lmao.

They just want me to get a job and don't care if I never get a gf.

>>69105533
Isn't there a blackie in that?

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>>69105540
>Asians in rural England

>>69105479
>west ham are now 11th

holy fucking shit when did that happen?
fuck i thought they'd be like 16th

fair lad, but Leicester are 'relegation fodder' and don't pretend no-one don't care about them :~)

>>69105539
You just spread her bumcheeks apart when you fuck her, easy

bit chilly here but I have a hot mug of tea

why does cocaine make my shit like clay?

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Where did everything go so wrong lads?

>>69105527
think she might have actually said "boyfriend" first this time, idk

not a good sign

>>69105559
this is how I thought mine were too

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is light beer for queers in the UK? it is here

>>69105569
yeh but its ok because he doesnt say or do too much in the movie its mostly about the white ppl

what are the benefits of rich people living in hotels?

never understood why they would choose to do that rather than just buying a home/condo

*tackles you to protect you*

>>69105579
yeah leicester are crap but they're reigning champions so there's a good narrative for their collapse

>>69105622
Not sure it's worth the risk.

>>69105594
kek, that's all Americans drink

>someone on twitter tweets about how cold it is where they live
>"OH YEAH? WELL IN CANADA, IT'S WAAAAAAAAAY COLDER"
every. single. time.
is the cold the only thing Canadians take pride in?

>>69105472
these fuckers still think we live in village times where you knew the same 100 people growing up for 30 years

its different now days old people #s mh

>>69105667
>SORRY EH XD

leaf

merely a leaf

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>>69105580

>>69105658
not by the look of them

>>69105594
Stop lying, light beer is the norm in burgerland. Our version of light beer is stuff like Fosters or John Smiths. If beer had light in its name no one would buy it here.

>>69105667
eh aboot

youtube.com/#/watch?v=5M-_dXwqEnc

>>69105644
>going to be relegated
>easily won their CL group

lels.

>>69105667

One time I commented on a BBC.com article that you were pussies for posting a story about a snowfall

did not get published

>>69105667
if you're from west of quebec and live in a city, yes
it's all that differentiates you from a yank

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you wake up in the northern peninsula of michigan in a cozy cabin on 500 acres of land

>>69105594
no one drinks 'light beer' here. the usual is shit like carling or fosters

>>69105299
I live near a church in a Northern village, fucking bell ringers do my head in. They're at it for hours on a summer evening sometimes.

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>da swans

just had a heart attack

>>69105715
fuck sake

cheapest way to get drunk lads? managed to get a pretty decent bit of grogginess on £2 of sainsburys cider

>inb4 some runt says ace white

>>69105736
ah yes no water no gas no heating no electricity no internet no sewage system no ambulance no police no nearby shops

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jesus christ, some people come up with the most ridiculous shit to convince themselves to keep going

>Mfw cheated out of York university
>Family don't even care

Might develop an addiction to something to spite them

>>69105594

why are coors and miller lite so popular in the us then

>>69105746
yes we have a shit manager.

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You wake up in Manny.

What do you do?

I think I saw Deano in red and white bodypaint celebrating England's 2-nd goal against Wales.
>>69105084
her face is not bad, I think.

>>69105760
Pretty sure boxes of wine are the best value purely for getting drunk.

>>69105706
>>69105658
2bh only because it's the cheapest shit. A beer is a beer to most.

>>69105760
box wine probably.

Errm, I will never be an anglo teenager.

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you wake up in Grigny la grande borne...

>>69105667
FOL (fuck off limey)

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>york """university"""

Why is Marco Reus on the cover of FIFA17?

Getting sick of the senpaiily, glad crimbo is nearly over

>>69105760
You lads have Four Loko? Very high alcohol/price ratio

>>69105790
take it off the map.

>>69105815
need to run along those roofs

>>69105780
and shit players

coors light is literally water

Also, not really, I'm a rasheed.
What?

>>69105790
Pop round my brother's house for breakfast probably.

>>69105769

well
wood fire stove
micro solar/wind or generator
outhouse
med kit
is that supposed to be a bad thing? fuck the pigs
not hard to stock up on stuff once a month

Culchies OUT

>>69105815
fuck me, who thought that would be a good idea?

>>69105667
it's almost like Canadians actively search for weather related social media posts just so they can post a screenshot of their weather app which shows -20 degree weather and heavy snows.

someone call me a nonce quick
preferably an irishman

>>69105799
>>69105807
I'm taking for like £5 or less

don't have £20 to splash out on a box of wine

>>69105842
nope

>You will never grow up in a comfy suburb with a girl best friend who becomes your first love when you hit your teens

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I'm watching a Canadian shitlord review junk food on youtube, what the fuck am I doing with my life?

*tries to find manny on the map*

>>69105842
Not that I've seen. Always wanted to try get pissed off it though. Whats it taste like?

>>69105893
nonce

going music/audio shop anyone want owt?

>>69105895
then you're going to have to drink something runty like super skol (high % lager), or shitty cheap high % cider.

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MANNY ON THE FUCKING MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP

>>69105930
I HATE you!

>>69105667
LITERALLY the only thing noteworthy about Canada. Just put yourself in the mindset of a Canadian for a moment and imagine how desperate they are to seem significant

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You are insignificant in your own city. You are insignificant in your own country. You are insignificant on your own planet.
And there are more than 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 planets in our visible universe.

you benihanas get chopped up like some sushi rolls

>>69105930
every unreleased Hessle dub plate

ta x

>>69105951

wrong

we just like bragging how tough we are compared to you warm weather poofs

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>>69105790
jump on the first train back to the REAL second city

need a sugar mummy

>>69105918
Nasty sugary drink tbqh, but it's strong and the cans are huge

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the new gaming pc

>>69105961
I won't be interested in space until we can actually travel to these other planets

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anon please go away lets be honest you're just taking up space here

>>69105895
Dunno then, probably tramp cider if you only have five quid.

>>69105961
humans are the only sentient life in the universe tho, so that makes us pretty significant

>>69106008
unlikely

>>69105937
was worried that would be the answer

they have so many calories and taste awful

>>69105977
t. literally lives on the border

>>69105923
cheers pal, appreciate it

>>69105982
You know what, come to think of it I need one too.

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ah yes london

>>69105984
Inside? 400 Macbook Pro with Touch Bar™. It just works.

quick

>>69106023
can't make any statement about the probabilities involved lad, there's only one data point

Manchester? Is that what the kids are calling West Wakefield these days?

>>69106046
YOU BETTER FIX THIS SHIT RIGHT NOW

>>69105981
Both Birmingham and Manchester are depressing shitholes

>>69105984
Looks like cheap Chinese shit 2bh

>>69106046
need to live in vancouver

it's full of pengsians

>>69106027
the lager isn't nearly as bad as the cider in terms of calories tbqh, or as runty if you ask me.

Are yank "high schools" really as bizarre in real life as they are in movies? With all those cliques and all that? Mad.

>>69106070
yes but my depressing shithole is a bigger city than his depressing shithole

do fuck all: the day

why are you retards always asking about the USA? seriously shut the fuck up

>>69106090
lager is still pretty bad, I'm a skinny runt and it always makes me feel bloated

taste petty vile as well

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>>69106046
sharting at this post

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you wake up in Corbeil Essones, les Tarterets...

>>69106131
*the life

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All I want is a nice house in the countryside, a gf or wife who isn't completely mental, a cute dog and a steady job that isn't full of backstabbing twats. WHY IS IT SO DIFFICULT TO ACHIEVE THIS MODEST GOAL?

may just go back to watching mad men 2bh