/brit/

hello lads

>>66601198
*farts*

Good edition

tfw no reddit flags bf

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>hard times with the gf the last month
>one day things turn especially bad with gf while we're texting each other and we break up
>she blocks me on all media, can't even view her facebook profile
>I get home from work
>there's a package
>remember she mentioned earlier that she had sent off a package the week before
>I open it up and there's a little pink book inside
>it's full of pages of cute stickers, poems, nice things I said to her, things we did together and lovesick scribbles
>last page has three lipstick-pressed kisses on it with the message 'I'll love you forever'

Lads

>>66601222
bit gay

I bench 80kg and WILL give you all wedgies

me: *gives wedgie*
you: yeeeeEEOOOWWWWWCHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>>66601239
eat the book

https://youtu.be/xb8G8qA9ibI

>I bench 80kg and WILL give you all wedgies

>me: *gives...

fascinating

*walks off and talks to somebody else*

>>66601239
the aussie flag ruins it 2bh

just picturing any kind of romantic or dramatic scene with aussie accent....it's just ridiculous

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threadly "alri thailad"

>>66601242
only been lifting a few months?

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>>66601242
>he fell for the lifting meme
lmao
enjoy your fucked up joints

Pozstralian shit-posting has hit a new low.

>>66601289
yeah my fellow countrymen are awful posters

all the shitrunts are from sydney

>>66601289
yes yes that's nice lad

*walks away from you and talks to someone else*

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>>66601278
alri Bruce

>>66601239
goodnight

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>the nonce is here with his yank tier shitposting

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The Aussie bf just sent me this

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>>66601198
>tfw too smart to not get banned and have to use a vpn

the state of this thread smdh

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Rate her

>gear of our lord 2016 A.D.
>he doesn't lift

Howling

Black Mirror alri or not lads

>>66601396
such a body is hard come by in Australia tbf

>>66601396
6.5

>>66601396
Would bang uezs brudi

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>>66601334
> posting my arse without my permission

You ever visit Cornwall and see all the kids that grew up there, and you can tell they're all comfortable in their own skin, hang out at the beach in 5's and 6's, relatively healthy, go surfing and skate and can hang around without feeling vulnerable or like they should be there

Seems nice innit

I grew up in north London grimeville, I didn't deserve that

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>"My policy on Scotland? I'll make Longshanks look like fucking Florence Nightingale, that's my policy on Scotland"

What did she mean by this?

>>66601398
>not playing a sport
faggot

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>>66601414
I got more if you like

i've been working as a call centre cuck for the past 6 months and i still get nervous ordering a taxi

makes no sense

>>66601403
not

>>66601398
>not just being skinny and attractive
runt genetics

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>I grew up in north London

>>66601423
People born is Cornwall are malnourished chavs by and large.

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>>66601442
>tfw skinny and unattractive
should i just off myself

how was work today lads? and bless the brits that are on their way to work right now. gotta love taking home a salary

>>66601439
you are WEAK

you must condition yourself to be STRONG

this is only achieved by ACTION not by SELF REFLECTION

YOU MUST DO

HYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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>>66601336
>What is mobileposting

>I'm skinny (read: a runt)

Lads how do I tell whether I'm a sociopath

>>66601465
why are aussies so autismo

>>66601442
Whats wrong with it? Reviews make it sound pretty good

>>66601464
I'm sat in the car park at work right now. Not going in one second before 9

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right then

going to watch the final episode in the latest series of black mirror

>>66601439
Been doing it for 3 years now lad, it doesn't get any easier

Just want to go home and sleep. Cannot deal with early mornings desu

>>66601465
im fine talking to strangers of the phone for 8 hours a day but when i have to make calls in my recreational life i shit myself

>>66601472
because South Africans keep coming here in hordes
Are you guys really that scared of niggers?

going to the laundrette today lads

>>66601472
says the skinny and unattractive little weasel

I will launch your lifeless corpse into a river if you ever burden me with your appearance again you vapid little cooing runt

why are new zealanders so shit

why does everyone on /brit/ work at a call centre

>>66601488
Matt

>>66601439
Different mindset lad

>>66601472
aussies throw a bunch of autistic gimmicks in the thread and see what sticks.
That's how runtposting came to be.

have to admire the effort.

don't understand how call-centres turn over profit

>>66601460
no mate, you're a necessary building block of society, a basic unit of populace.

most people don't have a anything extraordinary about them but society still needs. without mediocre people there would be no extraordinary ones either.

>>66601480
it's a videogame; videogames are for runts

>>66601511
They employ runts who have been NEET for years

>>66601526
they are actually brothels, if they call you you have to use the codephrase and then the person who rang will have to come and give you a handjob

>>66601526
innit

Been away for a few days

Can someone tell me what the latest gimmicks are please

>>66601520
Australians are creative larakins who are leeched off of yanks (cultural parasites) who host absolutely no hint of originality*

>>66601548
Some girl called Agatha

I HURT MYSELF TODAY

>>66601472
t. the cunt who just spent the last two hours having a cry because he's too autistic to talk to his room mates

>>66601548
runtposting is at an all time high
ballbusting is in
tinderposting is pretty strong too

>>66601509
:-(

>>66601509
You one of those fuckwits that got trolled by that crazy hapa?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3870880/New-Zealand-Woman-named-Poison-Ivy-grooms-unstable-men-commit-suicide.html

>>66601508
>I will launch your lifeless corpse into a river if you ever burden me with your appearance again you vapid little cooing runt
i would like that
assuming you're not a fat NEET who can barely manage to lift his fingers tbqfhwymgl

everyone in these threads just sponges the creativity of brits and aussies 2bh

it's sad

>>66601590
lol was that in nz?

>>66601603
>creativity
>brits
wew lad

>>66601438
I remember you spamming this girl here 2 years ago.

>>66601616
>wew lad
British meme

>>66601603
these threads have really devolved over the years

>>66601239
Haha rip :(

>>66601638
>an expression is creativity
delusional

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>these threads have really devolved over the years

Australians in a /pol/ thread are literally meeting up to fight eachother hahahaha

the lads

>>66601659
link the thread

I sucked danebro's cock in berlin

>>66601651
shut it you fat twat

>>66601672
Lucky

>>66601665
boards.4chan.org/pol/thread/94606648/thunder-river-rapids-general-thread-2#p94608902

posting from the call centre

>>66601704
that sub is a fucking mess

>>66601704
dumb fucking aussie

>>>/pol/94606648

>>66601704
fucking moron
Those is how you link threads: >>>/pol/94606648

>>66601603
Shut the fuck up.

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what he mean by dis ?

>>66601751

this* dumb auto correct

time for brekkie

>>66601751
>>66601749
does it matter you passive aggressive little peon germs

I would turn your feeble bodies into a fine paste in 4 seconds

>>66601777
trips confirms

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>>66601777
you're straight outta reddit, mang
You have to go back

where ma neets at

>>66601806
except I'm not so um you lose sweetie :) x

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>>66601821
based newfag in denial

>>66601821
you sure sound like it "sweetie"
i'll fuck your runt arse up

>>66601777

Navy SEAL confirmed.

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Found this on Brit/pol/, I thought you might like it.

>>66601857
bit shit

>>66601826
>>66601834
ah yes hello sweet little childrens

>>66601857
who is it

the call centre's bathroom smelled dreadful this morning

you bring me sun sun sun sunshine

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And this.

i absolutely despise autistic people

just got a message from the girl I messaged late last night

going to wait before messaging her, I don't want her to think I'm an autist who only gets 4 hours sleep a night so

>>66601879
alright mate
better not show you're face around here or i'll bend you over and show you who your messing with mate

>>66601904
But she's awake too

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And this one.

someone's in the shower and I NEED to do a messy shit

>>66601904
stop saying message so much

*taps bollock with a mallet*

*erection grows as pain floods my body*

ah yes.....

>>66601921
are you black

>>66601934
Hm? Do you not have a separate shower and toilet?

>>66601933
>>66601902
very consistent artwork 8/10

is there one for england?

>>66601948
post fucking machines

>>66601948
pfm (post fucking machines)

message
message
message
messaging
message
mess age
message
message

>>66601948
pfm

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This one.

I think we've been a bit rude to the south african

he's as welcome here as nz and aus even if he is a runt

>>66601969
hmm

>>66601987
hes not south african hes a yank

working on my conlang

>>66601963
>>66601972
am a FAN of this gimmick evolution

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>>66601953
He's working on this one, but it's not finished yet.

>>66601999
thanks

nice trips btw

>>66601950
nobody has the shower and the toilet in different rooms, fuck off

Obama? More like HOMOBAMA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

>>66602002
ah yes...very impressive....

>>66602019
I thought they were pretty comfy, anon.

>>66602011
Oh right, I forgot you're all packed into tiny cages like good little runts. No room I suppose

>>66601948
pfm

>>66601993
i've been found out
time to switch to Zimbabwe

>>66601969
answer's clearly "massage" but you keep moving around the pieces

who will be hosting The /brit/ Awards 2016 this year?

Whoever hosts I'm not really fussed but I feel the best gimmick award should hands down go to Tim.

*listens to the stone roses*

>its a mentally ill middle aged man wins gimmick of the year episode
n-next year w-will be d-different

>>66602105
llf

i only want him to win because i discovered him iah

>>66602011
>the shower and the toilet

singular use of the? you don't have multiple?

>>66602046
not so fast, invader zim

>>66602120
how?

>>66602084
feel like we should award poley something for his efforts

>>66602134
cant remember how i found his channel just remember posting him on /brit/ first

my room is a fucking pigsty

>>66602152
runt

>>66602151
going to vote for yank bumhole lad though desu

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Lads

yes mine too we should combine our pigsties together for a mega pigsty

no more gerrymandering!

>>66602152
runt
post pic

>>66602152
hallmark of recidivist hoarder

get your act together

>>66602185
>gerrymandering
do you even know what that word means you retarded cunt

Finally got my fish :)

capitalistic pigs unite

>>66602180
that is a class gimmick tbf

Farts smell like something's crawled up my arse and died

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>30 litres

>>66602194
i googled it just now :^)

everyone likes to be the little spoon

>>66602220
the absolute state of yank intellectualism

\MARK-PC\Users\Mark\exofelching-44316.mpg

>tfw roommate won't throw out his trash and it stinks up the whole entire apartment
really should off this loafer but instead im gonna just clean the apartment and charge him for it later

Cant stop yawning

21 seconds to go

21 seconds to go

got an headache
might do a sleep

>>66602282
sounds like you need that permanent vacation, t'shmuel ezekial ben-jackson

>>66602282
yeah, yeah, but what about those fucking machines?

Give the Mjolnir Mark IV armor to me

>>66602302
*hands you a spare condom*

Hand it over now

>IT guys walks through the office
>he's the most autistic person in the company

>>66602282
pfm

>>66602282
pfm

>>66602320
he's just shy, you cunt

pfm should win gimmick of the year award

>tfw incredibly degenerate

Don't know how I let myself lose control

>>66602356
sounds like you're in a right state 2bh

post-fucking machines is my favorite genre

>just after tricuspid sample distortion

Someone explain this "post fucking machines" thing

>>66602374
pfm

*taps a certain paragraph on a page of the FT*
know anything about this, runt? The asian markets?

*foot runt squeals something about not having eaten for the past week*

yes yes I thought not

*adjusts feet and carries on reading*

Working on a longlist for gimmick of the year lads:

>fucking machines
>pawnposting
>runtposting
>the ribena saga
>the story of tim
>barratt newbuilds
>trainposting

any more?

>>66602376
EPIC!

>>66602363
I'm m80...

>>66602384
graduate jobs in IB in a nutshell 2bh

>>66602398
pfm

you ask a question and no one gives you a straight answer

>>66602396
bumhole lad
ballbusting

@99
nice single
@96
reviewbrah rplaying
@84
nice rplaying
@74
has to do with women having consensual sex with machines

come my lady
come come my lady
be my butterfly
sugar baby

>>66602396
in greggs?

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*lobs hand grenade*

>>66602418
>>66602431
>>66602448
good ones

also that gimmick where we all post 3-4 word sentences like "making a move" or "sizing up the competition" or "considering my options"

what's that called?

grind australians into runt paste

>>66602480
being vague

>>66602480
dunno, but it's all based off of the ...

>*teleports behind you*

gimmick so....

just did a really sticky poo lads
dissapointing to say the least as it felt solid before it came out.

>>66602502
no it isn't, you're thinking of actionposting

>>66602504
>really sticky poo
check your liver

>>66602480
management speak posting

>>66602520
liver is getting better, I've not drunk for 3.5 months now. it was a one off anyway.

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The absolute state of keiron

*checks liver*
nah looks fine to me mate

>>66602522
>'hr's laying off some people, gonna' need you OT next two weeks. dont be late on purpose.'

that good yeh?

business idea for averagely attractive white girls: stream yourself playing video games badly in your underwear

/brit/ is cancer

"gimmicks" are just reddit-tier epic memes

>>66602570
nice gimmick

*adds it to the nominations*

Wish I was at Oceana Watford tbqh

>>66602559
Im in

/brit/ is cancer

"gimmicks" are just reddit-tier epic memes

i remember black gf posting was prominent during the early months of the year

but i hated that gimmick so im not nominating it

>work at a charity shop (paid)
>one of the volunteers is really irritating
>can't do shit about it because we have to treat the volunteers with a lot of kindness and care

He's so fucking annoying. He keeps doing shit like poking me and grabbing me and walking into me and I keep telling him to stop because it's unprofessional but he just laughs and says "I can do what I want"

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>>66602597
good gimmick that never caught on properly

>>66602396
Under 18 nightclub midget posting

>>66602617
lol

>>66602398
replying to the wrong post has to be a contender surely

wrote a fairly good short story lads

>>66602396
runtposting is objectively the best gimmick

what won gimmick of the year last year?

just came across an old uni acquaintance on tinder

should I like her? it could be super weird and she's not even hot

there's gonna be snow for 120 days lads

Here's my key

Philosophy

A freak like me

Just needs INFINITY INFINITY INFINITY

>>66602731
DUDUDUDUDUDU
DUDUDUDUDU DUU DUU

Going to make a big pot of tea lads

be right back

behave yourselves while I'm gone you naughty boys

>>66602762
tim is the most cancerous of all

>>66602763

*Shits in your kettle*

>>66602762
runty post

>>66602762
good post

tim is the goat gimmick

>both brits and poles always have shaved heads
really makes you think

on the can boys

well good morning

bit cold out

>>66602652
link and ill read it

>>66602868
typical french weather

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>women

>>66602895
sun is out though

Got Christmas cards sorted already! X

#WellPrepared #TisTheSeason

>>66602940
haha Bev you absolute domestic goddess! xo

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He's following me lads, MAKE HIM GO AWAY
>>66602980
FUCK OFF

>>>/pol/94613916
hahahha what the fuck

Imagine being such a gigantic uber runt that you browse /pol/

browsing /pol/

>>66602982
Fuck off out of /brit/ paddy

@66603143
> anime nonce is a /pol/ drone
colour me UTTERLY UNSURPRISED

never reply to me again you grubby little saprobe

nonce

>>66603245
Azunyan a shit

non-moe anime can be good sometimes
rest is utter trash for nerds who want a bit of human warmth

off to get some bog roll and then do a massive cack

/pol/ is reddit let's be honest

Someone post the midget

>>66603318
used to be better when it was tongue in cheek and not thought to have any actual influence

>>66601208
I'll bottle up your organs and sell 'em cunt

why ded

>>66603412
Australians

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the french call this "putain"

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with the lads

>>66603463
can't even comprehend living a life this grim

drink bleach at the earliest opportunity

>>66603472
Oi, lets go paki bashing

>>66603318
you always say that but its completely untrue
apart from the donald which isnt even as extreme as /pol/, the rest of reddit is leftwing

doing a massive cack

>>66603540
most of reddit is populist

a rorke is a rorke whether he likes trump or sanders

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A month ago you didn't wanna know
But now I'm seeing dough
These catties they be calling off my phone
All these mandem they applaud me on the road

>>66603567
that's literally the most retarded post I've ever seen

>>66603630
there is no significant difference between a lefty rorke and an alt-right rorke

lefties just tend to mask their racism behind other excuses

just did a massive cack

You mongs claim to be experts on reddit yet you also claim to never browse it
Fuck off

t. Reddit

I HAVE WASTED OVER £200 IN ONE NIGHT ON ONLINE POKER

OH MY FUCKING GOD

reddit is libertarian

Morning lads

>>66603662
what the fuck are you on about? There werent any racists voting for Sanders you plonker, he let black lives matters talk at his rally for fuck sake

Never reply to me again with such worthless drivel

>>66603674
absolutely runtacious

I am playing with 9 monitors.

You stand no match against me.

Just give up.

>>66603704
morning hunny x

>>66603710
the vast majority of supposed leftists are racists

why do you think they blabber all that rhetoric about protecting muh workers from evil capitalism?

all workers worldwide are better off the more capitalist we are but over-unionised western machine operators stand to lose out from capitalism

>>66603710
sanders isn't his voters

>>66603771
you are chatting shit senpai

>>66603771
I told you not to reply again
please kill yourself

>>66603803
Why don't you come down here and make me potato munching mong

I wish there was a game where you were part of a five man sniper team garrisoned inside a bunker tower overlooking a vast desert where a massive army of r*ssian communists conscripts have gathered.

i'm talking like thousands of players who have just been randomly picked from the overpopulated server, forced to run at the garrison of snipers (who by the way have a surplus of 7.62mm armor piercing modified rounds) and just see who wins.

the desert is really long so it'll be like a game of potshot for the snipers.

the conscripts will never make it to the bunker on time

>>66603730
haha xo

>>66603854
didn't read a word of this drivel

>>66603854
shan't

>>66603921
haven't read a single letter of your post

to the person who is wondering whether I spare even one moment of care for their posts: I don't.

bunch of cretins in here this morning

shit on my face please

>>66603995
don't ever post in MY thread AGAIN

>>66603995
>>66603989

not reading any of these
in fact, I'll just close the tab

>>66603995
well, it can't make it any uglier

*shits on your face*

off to go hunt some Australians

shan't be mustering even the bare minimum amount of care necessary to participate in this thread with you mongs

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Great Shitain.

>>66604046
a lot of posts for a hired not-carer

halloween plans lads?

>>66604066
stay in, drink self to sleep

done 8 wanks in the past 24 hours

>>66604066
gonna lie on the carpet and drink

>>66604066
this >>66604075 but with a wank and a borderlands play

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>>66604052
you will... regret... this day...

>>66604066
club

>>66604075
>>66604107
>>66604108
>>66604132
costume ideas?

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>>66604153

>>66604153
probably just my underwear, maybe a cum stained t-shirt

lads how do I buy a lottery ticket?

>>66604170
would be a laugh on me

>>66604181
bit too abnormie

>>66604182
rob a gas station

>>66604199
where are you even FROM??? Penisburg?

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THAILAAAD

>>66604066
gonna stay in and maybe have a sesh with the lads

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>>66604241

>>66604239
citizen of the world

>>66604262
yeah well not MY world buster you know what I'm sayin

I think it's time for you to leave

LOG OFF OKAY

I will fight each and every one of you in the octagon

>>66604239
t. proud inhabitant of Penishire

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-37773576
A television advert in which a tearful woman meets a slimmer and happier version of herself has been banned by the Advertising Standards Authority.

The ASA said the advert "implied that weight loss was the only solution to her problems".

It went on: "It therefore implied that those with insecurities about their bodies, and particularly their weight, could only achieve happiness and self-confidence through weight loss.

"We therefore concluded that the ad presented a socially irresponsible approach to body image and breached the code."

It ruled that the advert must not appear again in its current form and told Diet Chef "to ensure that their products were advertised in a socially responsible way".

been hanging around in my underwear and realized some old geezer was at his window
bit awk that

>>66604370
>realized
fuck off yank

Steve you absolute madman
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yVGJWUulu_Y

qt fuccboi noticed me ogling him from outside with my hand down my pants and now he's put his howling wolf shirt on

>>66604398
>>66604398
>>66604398

thought the nonce had disappeared but unfortunately, he still hangs around like a bad smell