GIOYC - Get It Off Your Chest

>>18723317

I feel guilty af. After months of not doing it I just cut myself.

I'm a senior in highschool (America) and living with my single mother. I'm broke as hell, struggle for groceries and facing eviction on a regular basis due to late rent checks. meanwhile, everyone else is having fun and owning cars while I'm stuck at home. I have no friends at school and I'm a loner. I've been feeling my life has no future for many years. Tried to kill myself twice over a year ago. I'm not sad and depressed anymore but if I had a gun I wouldn't hesitate to shoot myself in the melon
> feelsbadman.jpg

I think about you every day. If you felt a fraction for me of what I feel for you, it could be magic.

>>18723369
>oneitis
Abandon ship

All faggots need to fucking burn

>>18723331
I hope you feel better

>>18723317

I thought you were interested before, but chalked it up to you just being nice and me being hopeful. Sure enough, you picked found someone else, and I put you out of my mind. Then I found out from a mutual friend you were looking around at that time, and these days I feel like were both dancing around each other when we meet, afraid of showing too much interest.

On on hand, I get this sense that you're always watching me out of the corner of your eye. When we talk and make eye contact we both look away quickly, as if we're afraid of being caught. Little, rapid series of 'accidental' touches at the last minute, or just getting a bit closer than expected, when usually you keep a good distance from others. You'll banter and give back handed compliments to others but shout my name and give honest praise.

On the other hand, maybe this crush hit harder than I thought, and I'm projecting.

I don't feel comfortable having a crush on someone who is taken. It doesn't seem right or fair to you two.
That said, each day you look less and less happy to be with the person you're currently with. And the look you gave me today, behind his back, looked like you were apologizing. Definitely biting your tongue on something.

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Me: 31 year old lawyer

GF: 35 year old lawyer divorced two boys, 4 and 6

GF's boss shuts down his law firm and gives her everything, including existing clients.

She tries to make it work for a month but frantically applies to jobs because she can't handle the stress of being a solo with kids.

I'm already a solo in the same line of work as her.

Her boss knew we were dating and he didn't like it because he not-so-secretly had a crush on her and held it against me.

I had to find my own office, was never allowed to office with her.

GF is notified that she was accepted to a new job at a government agency, has to close down the firm.
That means she has to get rid of current clients somehow.

I say, "I'm capable, I need the work, send them to me."

Instead she, along with her former boss, decide to refer all the clients to another guy in their office.

She says it was just a business decision. Other guy has a newborn and another 2 year old kid. His wife is a prosecutor.

I say "wtf?!, after your two boys I'm supposed to be the nearest and dearest to your heart." Who gives a shit that I don't have any kids?! You should want me to be successful and you know I can handle these cases just as well as other guy.

Do I have a legitimate reason to be upset?

I love your smile. I can't forget it. Is this gonna last forever ?

>get rid of toxic and fake friends
>sad and lonely after very tough decision
>they spread rumors and misinformation about me to "make everyone who could possibly care about you hate you"
>fully realize the extent of former best friend's psychotic tendencies and desire to control our friend group
>meet new friends
>rekindle with old ones
>two months later I'm surrounded by people that support me and care about me and aren't trying to manipulate or hurt me

What a feeling bros

>>18723464
>meet new friends
H
O
W
?

>>18723432
As the saying goes (paraphrased): "You don't mix business with pleasure." Playing the devil's advocate with no other context, that may have been her mode of thinking in that decision.

As I'm not within the legal world, yet understand how commissions work in general, I would assume that the deal of the transference of her clients was made with a considerable percentage. Seeing as how she is a single mother who's struggling financially, she likely proceeded as your second quote stated, making the decision with the welfare of her children in mind.

I've never really wanted to be alive, but actively being suicidal has come and gone sporadically. They tell me I need to just find my reason to live, but I genuinely don't want to. I'm not making a joke or trying to be edgy, the only thing that has ever been keeping me going was the inability to not keep going without dying and pressure from others. No matter what I've done, I've never mattered to people, even the people "close" to me barely notice if I fall off the grid for a few days. I just want to an hero. I'm tired of this endless cycle, because even when I find a glimmer of hope, I'm screwed over by things completely out of my control. I hate everything about my life, I hate myself.

>fwb ends on a really bad note, i caught feelings
>girl i hooked with ends well, i didn't care too much, but it seems i just can't hold a girl for long
>don't really feel like i have any friends, even though i've got 2 rock solid best m8s
>job is unfullfilling
I'm just tired with it all anons, this is the first time i've contemplated suicide in a long time

>me
>plenty of good hobbies
>almost no social life, no friends
>somehow not a social retard, despite this
>very pretty girl at my work is obviously attracted to me

I'm gonna go for it, anyways. no fucks given. wish me luck, anon.

>>18723618
There's a million reasons why this is a bad idea.
Unless you live with very supporting parents and you have a good safety net to fall into, good luck.

Oh, also
>I have 4 women flirting and hinting at me
I know this feel. I can't act on it ever, however. Lots of shit's on my shoulders with this gig.

I'm in a situation where I'm juggling between two people who I'm in a relationship with, and they're both BPD to make things even worse. It's really eating me up since I know it'll be found out at some point. I like the other one for sex and pretty much love the other one but she lives far away and we can only see a few times a year, she isn't very sexual either.

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>>18723540
wish i had something comforting to say, but all i got is that i know that feeling. 5 years since the feelings of hopelessness really started to overwhelm me, and it's always getting worse, never better like normies keep telling people in our situation. i feel it's never about what other people can do to help us, but always about what can we do for them to earn their help - which is nothing because living like this is so paralyzing. i'm just counting down the days now.

I have absolutely no interest in sex or romantic relationships with men/women, and don't want to have children. I'm getting pestered by family and friends to "find the one" that way I'll be a normal person.
Everyone thinks I'm odd for not wanting to be in a relationship.
Why can't people accept this?

Pat my head and make it all better.
Whisper sweet words as we fall asleep together.

>>18723409

Thanks, Anon. Even if I don't know you and it may sound dumb, I actually appreciate it. I'm not sure if I feel better but I'm drunk (I'm know I'm having a self-destructing behavior but I'm trying to harm myself the less I can), so I guess I am a little bit better. Or at least I'll probably fall asleep soon. Again, thank you. I actually needed someone to just tell me something, doesn't even matter what.

He moved away years ago yet he's the only friend who still responds to my messages and cares about how my life is going.

I'm completely hetero yet I love him like nobody I've ever known and I miss him so much.

>>18723647
I completely feel that, I'm always being a shoulder to lean on for others, but none of them ever do that for me. I've been discarded like a used rag more times in my life than I can count. Everything I do never seems to affect the outcome of things, it all ends the same. I just want to escape, I can't take it anymore.

My boss is on vacationand she just sent me a photo in a bikini. Her smile in the pic is really inviting. I hqve been attracted to her for a couple years. Is she too?

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>>18723317
All I want is to love you under the stars of the southwest and to hold you in my arms, get high off of touching and knowing you and it hurts so fucking much because I know you feel the same way and that neither of us may ever have that chance again. I know how alone and sad you feel and want nothing more than to drive 2,000 miles and be with you again. You retreat into your tremendous strength, believing your scars make you ugly but to me they only make you more beautiful than any woman in the world and I want you to have that. I want to embrace everything you are and all that you have, because I am a selfish bastard who needs you to know how amazing you are.

I'll be back in 8 months. I promise I won't be a coward this time.

It looks like my dreams will continue just being dreams forever, it's too bad, I had such a beautiful idea for the world.

>>18723647
>>18723647
I feel that so much, people keep telling me it'll get better but it never does. Hell, I have glimpses of hope now which has turned out worse because every single fucking time it's stomped out like some cruel trick, I finally was having luck with a girl and then she couldn't bring herself to continue because I reminded her too much of her step brother, I am so fucking alone and every single attempt to not be fails, even when I'm compatible with them I will be fucked over by the universe. I'm so sick of everything, I have no reason to live beyond the fact that everyone around me decided for me that I have to live yet they dont give a shit that my life is fucking miserable. I think I've made up my mind, I finally made it to college, I have enough freedom to do it, I know where to buy a rope nearby and there's a wooded Isle about 20 minute walk from where I live. This weekend, I want to escape.

>>18723647
I feel that so much, people keep telling me it'll get better but it never does. Hell, I have glimpses of hope now which has turned out worse because every single fucking time it's stomped out like some cruel trick, I finally was having luck with a girl and then she couldn't bring herself to continue because I reminded her too much of her step brother, I am so fucking alone and every single attempt to not be fails, even when I'm compatible with them I will be fucked over by the universe. I'm so sick of everything, I have no reason to live beyond the fact that everyone around me decided for me that I have to live yet they dont give a shit that my life is fucking miserable. I think I've made up my mind, I finally made it to college, I have enough freedom to do it, I know where to buy a rope nearby and there's a wooded Isle about 20 minute walk from where I live. This weekend, I want to escape.

Just add me back on discord. I don't know what I even did to upset you enough to warrant a block and remove.

I'm here again. I'm not really sure why this time. Maybe because you still haunt my thoughts. My mom said you looked like hell today. I wish this would end soon. The less ties we have to each other, the better. I don't mind the memories, but I can't stand that you still affect my day to day life. It's hard coming to terms with everything that has happened. Everything you've done to me. Everything I've done. Everything that could've been. But I wouldn't have it any other way. I found a beautiful love in the chaos and shattered pieces of myself. A love for myself, and a love that I hope to marry one day. Buy I won't agree to an engagement until I stop wondering how you would react to the news.

>>18723732
>I have to live yet they dont give a shit that my life is fucking miserable

this
it's so ass-backwards that it actually makes me chuckle.
hate to be the person to egg on a suicidal person but i don't blame you for thinking and feeling the way you do.

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im having another small panic attack because my ex (who has been wanting to see me to talk) wants to meetup tonight and we haven't seen or talked to each other in person in well over a month. She sorta ghosted me and didnt talk to me for a few weeks, said she was sorry for being so quiet and said I had a right to know this thing was on the way out, etc. Not a totally awful breakup really.

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

i dont know what to do

>>18723648
I just abandoned a person I very much cared about because of exactly this same thing. They get really angry about it too, when you tell people you just want to be alone.

I can't stand worrying about someone else like that. I have to be alone or everything gets fucked up. I'm not hurting anyone by being alone, but I have hurt people by trying to do the relationship thing. Why continue? Honestly. It makes me miserable.

>>18723819

I just came here to say: same. I'm heartbroken right now but it's better to be alone that keep hurting people I actually care about and that, don't matter how hard they try, don't understand it.

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>>18723877
I thought if I pushed myself I could make this one be the one. I needed so little. I had everything set up to go well, I was so optimistic. Then it hit me like a train. Distrust is a poison.

I guess some of us just aren't made for it.

If I call would you pick up this this time?

>>18723772
stop thinking about her feelings, she'll understands.

What's going on? What did you think I said? Did you read something on here and think it was me who wrote it? This seems to have come out of nowhereThis was the last post I made on here >>18719593 and this board besides fit are the only boards I've been browsing for the last two weeks.

God do I hate how this site is tearing us apart.

Why do you keep me around but won't really talk to me anymore? Things are so strange now, I miss your friendship. If you don't want me in your life, please block me. It's the last thing I want but if that's how you feel then I will respect it. I'll always care for you, I don't see that changing. I only want good things for you, but you know this...

V
I wish you'd tell me what happened and why we're back to being strangers again. With my Dad's lung cancer diagnosis, I had put you out of my mind and now it's catching back up to the loose ends between us. I never said I loved you, but I think I did.
-M

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>>18723317
Halp! Advice I followed your advice from the other day and asked the girl at work if she wanted to hang out. But I didn't really get a solid response she took my number and hat was sorta it.... I almost would have preferred the straight up damn that's cold girl rejection than the sorta lolwut? Answer I got maybe I'm freaking out and should have another pipe.... Wat do?!?

>>18723928
No.

What the fuck did you even mean by "we're too real". Do you even know what real is? Is that why you're so afraid of it? I thought you were stronger than this but here you are acting like a loner and pushing not only me but your best buds away?

I guess we both got ourselves in this message. It was a gamble, but I was honest with you and you still came to me and I followed you.

I dunno, I genuinely hope whatever it is that's gotten you to act this way turns for the better. I hope nothing but the best for you because you were my friend first.

im glad i left everything behind and i have no regrets looking back. i did it all on my own better than anyones control could get me. im free of the things they told me i couldnt do. suck on that i made it and im glad these people are no longer there to hurt me . i can rest mentally and physically

I loved how your face lit up and you were practically bouncing when I brought you the brownies I made and the Americano. I love doing nice things for you but our chemistry is too much and sometimes I feel too giddy about it.

I should stop putting it off and get a boyfriend so I can do these things for him instead. I lose myself in you and that's bad.

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I'm not sure why you try to lie or be secretive when you are too much of an idiot to know how to cover your tracks. You think it isn't obvious when you try to do to me what you do to everyone else. You think I don't know better, maybe. Or that I didn't catch on long before we even spoke to each other.

I do know better, and I'm not doing this shit a second time. Good luck finding someone else who gives half of a shit about you despite the fact you only care about yourself and your whim of the moment. You want me to feel bad about protecting myself but I don't.

The only thing that really burns is the disappointment, but I get used to it. Bye J. Enjoy your... well, you'll surely find something basic enough for even you to enjoy.

I wish I wasn't like this. Why do I fear intimacy? Why do I tense up and feel discomfort when someone loves me? Why have all my feelings been so muddled lately? I managed to open up and get the help I needed, but I feel like I need so much more to recover. There's a long road ahead of me and sometimes I wonder if it's worth it to keep going.

I feel fucking fantastic all the time. But I swear sometimes I just feel like I wanna fuck my ex just one last time. I seriously need some new pussy so I can stop thinking bout her..

>>18723819
It's hard telling people about my aversion to relationships is purely based on my disinterest in romance/sex, they too get rather frustrated with me. So I know how fuckin annoying that can be as well anon.
I like being alone. Sure, meeting with my good friends is fun every now and then, but I like going home to an empty house where I can decompress after a long day.

Anyway, hope everything works out for you man.

Taking the high road.... Over the years this is the path I have chosen to take. I try not to wish ill will on others even when they have done pretty messed up stuff to me. I keep hoping things will get better then I realize maybe this is the path I am destined for. An empty life living on a whim, a marketed life of just being there, a body filler on a bed. Had I had been selfish I would have what I wanted, a family with a kid, it wouldn't have been the best situation but I would have been happy. I've always put others people's thoughts and feelings before my own. I know that too is self destructive. I want something real, I don't want to feel like filler anymore. I've been in a committed relationship for years and spend most of my time by myself. My So is engrossed with his drug problem. I can't see how one can smoke all day. I wonder how he can live life functioning in a blur. I asked a simple question the other day, he had a lot going on and just the way he interacted with me in front of other people made me sick to my stomach. I feel like a thing. I need to say fuck all and start taking care of myself, I always put myself on the back burner. I'm not in the best of shape right now and the illnesses are draining. I've been told more effort will fix that and I should be glad I don't have a piss poor hateful attitude, that kind of hateful can't be scrubbed completely away......

>>18723317

Lost my right leg below my knee and broke my other one forcing me to lose my independence and live with my parents again.

The frustration is real.

..... My past actions were overly impulsive. I could have stayed married, maintained a party lifestyle, enriched with all the deviant sex I could think of. I really loved that one, the stuff he didn't share with me beforehand shadowed his morals lacking any fiber, and I guess it bothered me he carried a picture of someone else's kid in his wallet but made me get rid of our own then had the audacity to marry me after the fact. I'd give anything to clear my conscious. I've tried to right my wrongs but they still fester. I sometimes think I'm to wounded to be a decent human being and isolation and silence is what I deserve, I need some sleep..

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>oh i bet he's a VIRGIN
>hahahaha
>oh he'd better find a girlfriend
>hahahahaha
>he doesn't need a girlfriend can't you see
>HAHAAAA

>>18724127
I can smoke the entire day and exist, the trick is to not smoke pure weed but to use some burning base, most people use tobacco or male weed but I use dried mint. Sure sometimes I overdo it and get too blasted and need to sit down or wash my face to get clearer again but it really helps with muscle soreness and bone aches.
I am done with my oblugatory dude wwedbro 420xd defense of weed on the Internet.
You shouldn't hate your life like that, having kids and a husband isn't everything. But you still should work towards your own happiness in life you know? Even if it's not the fulfillment you want from a family, there needs to be contentment in life not only bliss.
But you should probably work on your weight if that's an issue, I have been through some bad times on and off when I stopped working out and every time I get fatter I feel heavier and pulled down, it affects my mentality and outlook on life. As soon as I drop the pounds and increase my range of motion through stretches I feel much more liberated and content with my body. A healthy body isn't everything or won't fix your problems maybe but it's like a glass of really nice juice every day it is refreshing and clearing.

I'm sorry I fucked it all up. I should have treated you like the amazing person you are. I got too wrapped up in our problems and went to self pity rather than trying to fix the issue. I should have tried to fix me, and help you, instead I spiraled down clutching you and destroyed you and us in the process. I hope we meet again under better circumstances when we're both matured and you can forgive me baby doll. It won't be soon, but maybe when I'm old, tired, and gray.

c ya

>>18724151
What's the context here? Are you the guy they're talking about?

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Day 5 of recovering from a circumcision. The head of my dick still looks like a cricket ball and erections are a nightmare but so far, so good. I just wish it weren't so sensitive so I could get outside some more.

>>18724163
bye Felicia

>>18724175
Yes. I've also heard that from women, not from guys.

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>>18724151

>>18724212
fuck off.

>>18724202
>circumcision
for what purpose?!?!?!

>>18724246
Ever heard of phimosis?

>>18724248
Of course, I managed to fix it with lotsa stretching. There was even this dude online who managed to stretch his from a literal pinprick hole to a fully retractable foreskin with these gauges designed for just that. Too late now though!

Used to sadpost here a lot when I was a neet. Out of options I took a leap and moved abroad to work. The office is great, the people is a 100 times better than where I came from. No more poverty, no more stacking debts, no more unemployment.
Signed by: normie

I've been against medicine my whole life and now I couldn't be more excited to take the medicine I'm most scared of: antidepressants.

I took one for the first time yesterday. Very low dosage and working my way up.

I felt nothing for the first few hours, but as I was talking to my sister, who's a mental health worker, about my situation, I had a very scary moment.

It was like I felt my brain being re-wired or changing tracks, and for that "in-between" moment, I felt like I understood exactly how sane people suddenly go crazy. I really thought I was losing my mind. And then all of a sudden: change. I felt different. It was a very odd experience. I more or less went back to normal, but for a while after that happened, I felt like an extremely vulnerable little boy.

>>18724257
Pretty sure that's real fuckin dangerous but hey, power to you guys. I had a pinprick hole too and the skin was really really thin so I wasn't gonna risk it.

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It secretly pisses me off when people ask if I'm mixed race just because I have light skin and long hair. I always ignore it and just gently correct them because they don't mean it, but it's a pet peeve. The nasty part is I know it's some sort of misguided compliment coming from subconscious prejudice and small-mindedness. "She's clearly mixed with white", "Black people can't grow long hair" etc.

Africans have more genetic diversity than most of the world. Both I and my parents are directly from West African countries, so the old "African-Americans are 20% white!" argument doesn't apply to me, either. Nothing about my features is even slightly white or Asian,some people just have a pathetically narrow image of what black people look like. Stop pushing that image onto me, and then trying to erase my blackness when I don't fit into it. Stop pushing it onto other black girls just because you're incapable of thinking that anything black can fit your idea of what looks good. Just fuck off already. It's the visual equivalent of telling someone they're "acting white" if they're polite or soft-spoken. Maybe a coon would be flattered by that sort of thing, but I respect myself, my mother, my sisters and my entire family too much to accept it.

It bleeds onto the internet, too. I keep getting into arguments with idiot racists over this or that black model "having white features" just because they might not look like the first result when you Google "starving African child", and deep down I know they enjoy their racism, they're not going to change and I should just allow them to be stupid, but it seriously grinds my gears like nothing else. I can't even say this anywhere else because I know it'll either sound like a humble brag or make everyone uncomfortable.

>>18724298
You sound like a chore of a human being ughhhjhhh reading your post wore me out

>>18724316
You too thanks

>>18724316
Welcome to your first three minutes on /gioyc/

>>18724298
It's sounds like people are just trying to make small talk with you.

>>18724330
No, I'd be able to tell if it was. Trust me.

S, why are you such a whore?

>>18724356
Fuck off beta virgin

I can't wait to see you again! I'm not gonna tell you this because I don't want to scare you off but everything I know about you I just adore. I don't know what dating you is like but you seem like my dream guy. And I can't believe you might like me too. There's this chemistry and tension when we're with each other. We're both always looking at each other and looking for excuses to be closer. I wonder who's gonna make the first move. I'm super impatient so it might just be me haha, I can't help it. At the very least when I next see you I'm ramping up the flirting

life is pain. have many ''friends'' but no one really close. scared to see a therapist, dont think anything will change my mood :(

>>18724405
I'm serious, don't you wanna kys knowing everyone saw who you really are?

Long story short, she broke up after 5 months, it hit me out of the blue as 2 weeks before the break up we were having a really great time.

I was mustering the courage to tell her that i loved her and she was all supportive about it. Anyway, she broke up 2 weeks after that, we talked for a couple of minutes (not really enough time at all for me, felt kinda disrespected as i could hear other people in the background).

Still got some books of her which have some value to her, she told me she'd get in contact with me about them but has blocked since the breakup.

Question: Is a short text on a non blocked channel asking her to get her stuff okay? I was thinking about also telling her that i loved her, but ultimately i don't feel like she should even know, considering how she treated me (emotionally) like dirt 2 months ago, tried to hold herself back and everything looked like she was really giving it a try.


TL;DR still got stuff of her at my house, want it gone, am blocked on social media and messengers

So one of my favorite managers, who is probably one of the most humble, capable, professional bosses I've ever had was recently passed up for a promotion in favor of a guy who has 10 years LESS experience in her field because her boss who has a temper that drives him to constantly pick fights with her to let off steam put in her review that she has an attitude problem. An "attitude problem" which amounted to her standing up to him with cold, hard facts instead of "getting all emotional like women do (t. her boss)" or backing down and saying "yes, sir" when he's trying to blame her for bullshit. And as if all of this wasn't bad enough, the new guy is pretty much a bumbling retard who needs her to hold his hand through everything.

I know I shouldn't even bother getting this upset. After all, we aren't even friends outside the workplace and I probably would have quit this job if it wasn't for her. But I can't stand how the world continues to reward shitty people with what they want and punish good people for simply not being shitty. For once I wanted to see some karmic justice done. Someone good get rewarded for being good. I want to see that there's some hope in the world if you don't find pleasure in screwing people over. But life continues to disappoint. Good people get screwed for not being bad enough and bad people get more for being bad to good people.

Maybe if I manage to save enough money I can find a place where one of this will matter. Where you can just live and be and not have someone constantly looking to fuck you over for it.

I got over and then almost immediately fell in love with my ex and I want to stop but I missed this feeling.

Why didn't you go?

>we were cuddling
>she knew i was about to tell her that i love her
>tells me i shouldn't rush it, she understands me and keeps carassing me, being sweet to me
>2 weeks later she breaks up

what the fuck

>>18724595
Kind of happened to me too recently. Ain't that some fucking shit?
Like an emotional suckerpunch to the nuts.

>>18723317
I think I may have Klinefelters. I know most of you dudes don't care, but I won't insert my fucked up genes to the next generation. I just want to feel normal. I still live with my mother, work a dead-end job, etc. If anything, I just want to feel something. I feel dead.

>>18724607
it's fucked up man. we were having a great time, she was on vacation a week later told me everything's fine and out of nowhere i get a text telling me that she realized she has no feelings etc. once she got back.
like, she knew exactly what i was about to tell her the days i spent with her

haven't been dumped like this before
hbu?

this is me talking to myself:

FFS GET YOUR ASS UP AND GO LIFT
2 months you went and registered with a gym and haven't been since
eat big get big, fuck your ex and just llift
you don't have social anxiety you're just fuking lazy
ahhhhhhh

>>18724625
>text
That's cold. We started off slowly, like watching stupid YT videos, playing vidya with some cold ones once every two weeks or so, then we start to cuddle etc. etc.. But three weeks later she suddenly says she didn't have feelings for me and says that she needs some space. Damn I'm bitter.

>>18724645
after she texted me we atlked the day after for a whopping 4 minutes. now i'm blocked and still have stuff off her.

man, it sounds to me like she liekd you but was to frightrened to commit lastsly

>>18724655
Yeah she has issues, but I have low expectations. Better luck next time dude. There's always someone out there.

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This is so confusing.
What do I have for you?
I think about you constantly. When I get get home, I can't think of anything else but talking to you again. Spending time together, or just wasting it away simply talking and listening to you. You always make me smile, and the few times I cracked you were there to hold me together. When you have nights like last night, where you feel the world is coming down around you, my only desire is to hold you close and do my best to reassure you things will be okay. I simply want to talk until you feel better.

I'm confused about you. Do I love you? Am I just obsessed? Or am I just playing with your heart?
I don't want to hurt you, that much is certain. Maybe it's just because the circumstances for this relationship of ours are so unorthodox. Something I never calculated for. You are a strange variable I want to figure out and make into a constant.

You are the sweetest, kindest person I have ever dealt with. You remind me of my ex, but you do what she could never do, talk. You tell me of all the things that go wrong, or when you feel down. You're honest with me, and I really do like you for something so simple.

That takes a certain strenght to open yourself up to a wretch like myself. I want to hold you where you're weakest and tell you that I will never hurt you in those ways.

But do I love you? What do I have for you? For a person who I want to do nothing more but caress all day until my hands glow red? For someone who's jagged edges don't make me turn away, instead they make want to help smooth those out so you feel better about who you are, better about the girl I see in my eyes.

I think I love you, but it might just be a little early to say it. And, I rather much show it to you. Words are nice, but actions are better.

Why did my ex-girlfriend send me a friend request on facebook? Is she trying to check in on me?

>>18724661
yeah well, still sucks to not even having the opportunity to say goodbye to someone my heart fell for

This is a LinkedIn & career advice question.

As part of my degree (4 years worth of courses), I have to get 700 hours work experience.

Most people finish these hours during their summer breaks and formally graduate a few months after finishing their final semester of courses.

I've passed all of my courses, but haven't yet finished my hours - I've only done ~250 because I had no self confidence to go out and look for work and generally depressed about my life for various reasons. This depression contributed significantly to shitty grades and failed courses during my first two years at uni - so instead of 4 years, I'm now up to 5.5 years (with 500 hours still to go!).

So compared to other graduates, I'm in a shitty predicament. Not only do I have fuck all experience, but also my degree has dragged out and my GPA is trash (although definitely shows an upward trend & my last semester I got straight As).

I feel like the only redeeming quality I have is a good work ethic and attention to detail because I decided to fully apply myself for the last 1.5 years; uni pretty much turned into my life.

My questions are:

1. How do I communicate my situation to an employer

2. How tf do I market myself on LinkedIn? I don't think I can call myself a grad (although I've seen a few final year students do this)

I don't have social media and so I feel that it's vital I have a Linkedin

>>18724678
write her your post, also words are nice for females, nicer than actions

>>18724742
Thank you for your help anon. Simple, but thanks. As you can tell, I am not all to knowledgeable on matters of the other sex. I'm still rather new to all this, and your assistance is very much appreciated.

>>18724678
D? :(

>>18724810
No, I'm not D.

i'm not here for you to talk to me and ignore me whenever you fucking feel like it, and for you to hook up with me and then leave me hanging. you don't know how much i've cried for you and the feelings i feel for you. you don't give a shit and you don't even pretend to care.

that's the thing though, you're night and i'm day, you're the moon and i'm the sun. i forgot you and you came back into my life only to resurface everything i tried to forget, to see a brief glimpse of all i ever wanted, like an eclipse. and just like that you're gone again.

The only reason I'm pledging a fraternity is to find a qt, blonde sorority gf who puts her hair in a bun and wears tshirts so big they completely hide her shorts.

>>18724863
Did I write this in my sleep? Funny how we all live such similar lives.

>>18724556
This.

She broke up with me about a month ago, went absolutely dark and pushed me out of her life while also being shady/doing shady shit.

I fall for it, answer her call to talk last night, and head over to her apartment with intentions of talking and such, etc.

We had a good talk. She said she felt awful and shes a horrible person for doing that to someone like me. Things weren't going so smooth for her recently, she even admitted to going on dates with other guys after we broke up and that she just hated, all of them douchebags, etc, and here I am back again after all of it. And yeah, one thing led to another, we made up, had some incredible sex, and I spent the night as if nothing really happened. This feels strange, and it confuses me why she wants me back.

>>18724972
She doesn't. She basically told that she tried find someone else but thought that they were too bad. As soon as she finds someone that is not, she'll forget about you.

I figured you out... you just need to be worshipped. The only thing we have in common... I love you and you love you. Glad to have been of service, it was my pleasure. Know that.

>>18725057
And I hope you enjoyed mine.

>>18725068
You know I did...

>>18725073
P.S.
I don't love myself. I needed yours to regain it.

>>18725084
Well you should :( you're my favorite... for always

>>18723668
take it easy bro don't stress

>>18724490
Keep it short:
Did you want your stuff?

Without context cant say if anything else is worth it. Blocking just because of a break up is pretty childish.

Wubba Lubba dub dub!
You think I'm happy
But I am in great pain, please help.

I wish I could be single again to find a more mature guy who is more stable in his life/career, meaning more money and more of a sexy mentorship relationship. I never went through a slut phase, even though I don't think I'd do well at it, I still want to be given an actual chance now that I'm peaking in my twenties. I constantly (but not always) feel trapped in my relationship even though he's a great guy.

>>18725177
T. Reddit

I think about her in every moments I'm not distracted. Whether that's work, friends, videogames, or alcohol that's distracting me I always come back to her in my mind. It's been two years since we broke up and I'm still in love with her. I don't really know what to do with myself anymore, frankly it's a miracle I even managed to graduate through this fog. I know there were problems with us, and I doubt she'd take me back, but that doesn't change how I feel. How could a man's will change the tides? Hold the moon at his beck and call? Could a man take a star from the sky and hold it in the palm of his hand? Could a man tear down a mountain and put the sun in its place? No more than I could stop myself from loving her. And yet I press on trying, hoping, pleading to forget her.

>>18725188
I was in the same boat/headspace as you once. I totally forgot until today. I was completely delusional and in the mental hospital. I remember one incidence in particular. We were all in recreational therapy. Everyone around me was engaged in harmless banter but I thought they were all speaking to and about me. It was upsetting and overwhelming so I decided "screw you guys, in just going to block you out... not listen." I think you should do the same. Just ignore all this shit that's stressing you out. Do your art, you're lucky you have a talent. I'm basically shit and terrible at most things. I'm rooting for you.

Well guys gf finally came over for the weekend. She lives in another state. She comes here and sleeps all afternoon. Still sleeping while I post this. What do?

>>18725341
Wow, fuck you then. Why aren't your parents helping you? They've certainly failed you.

>>18725353
I'm no doctor, so take this with a grain of salt, but it is my understanding that all humans have a monthly hormonal cycle. It's just a lot more intense for those of us with female organs, because they have a lot more shit to do with those hormones than male organs. Perhaps as an intersex person you're simply experiencing a mishmash of both worlds? No matter what, you are you. You are yourself and not your body. A body is just a meat robot your mind rides in.

>>18724869
It should be easy enough. They're all whores who pick up rank fucking people

My kid has became a spoils turd.
She acts like a brat all the time. She refuses to do anything asked of her and acts out any time she dosen't get her way. Won't do homework or chores. The other night she turned her tv on on a school night after being told no repeatedly. When I went in and told her she wasn't listening and it's not ok and unplugged her tv she got mad and peed all over her bed as a way of getting back at me. She's becoming a complete nightmare and I'm at a loss as to how to help her. She's bad in school, we've got her in special help classes and have gotten lots of testing done to rule out problems like ADHD and stuff like that but she dosen't have any issues, she's just extremely stubborn and lazy and thinks that no rules should apply to her. I don't understand why she thinks this or why she feels so entitled but it's really hard to deal with and I am worried about her future.

>>18725347
Let her rest. When she wakes up ask her if she's feeling alright. Traveling probably wiped her out

I fucking hate myself.
I've seen you three times today and couldn't even bring myself to say hello because you were with your friends and I didn't want to embarrass you.
But I want to hear your voice again. I want to make eye contact. I want you to know that I exist.
I want to kill myself.

>>18725369
Spank the shit out of her, lock her in her room, let her cry it out. Take all phones away, give her only books.

I used to be like this. I even accused my parents of child abuse to my school counselor. I was a little fucking shit. Now I love my parents and how much a fucking strict witch my mom was with me. I understand why. I never got to the point of peeing all over the fucking bed though. You've let this go too far. As for school, they took me to the public school near me which happened to be the shittiest (back home only private schools are good) and told me I'd be walking through the fucking hood where I'd get beaten up and raped and abducted (they left out this part, I just knew how it was) if I didn't straighten up in school.

Good luck. Send your kid to boarding school tbqh or get them a therapist or a fucking discipline nanny or whatever the fuck south park portrays in that one episode where they're trying to control Cartman.

>>18725353
Just something worth noting.
Most birth control pills are heavy on the oestrogen...
So very similar/same stuff gets used for "feminising" both in the rare cases of intersex I've heard of and in all cases of trans using hormones I know.

Every time you demand I use your preferred pronoun
Rather than what you look like
It takes that little bit of energy
Energy that I needed
To make myself eat or to have a shower

I'm not a bad person, I'm just exhausted.

Are you ok?

I want to lay my head in your lap so badly. I want to be comfy with you and take care of you. I want to do all the things...

In the waiting room about to do bloodwork for hsv-1 & 2. What are my options for the future?

Do you ever wonder if you are doing something or look really weird and everyone is giggling at you, but nobody has the heart to tell you so you never know? I think about it all the time.

>>18725603
He wouldn't want it

>>18725565
are you ok, annie?

>>18725614
Yes sir, then you grow up and realise that it doesn't matter. Do the sneering masses pay your bills, feed you or do anything other than illuminate your paranoia?

>>18725627
I've got a handle of whiskey and a 21" pizza, a pack of smokes and Spotify to kill the silence. Are you ok Oscar?

>>18725632
It chisels away at my self-worth. I'm not an asshole who thinks everybody's opinion except for mine is worthless.

>>18725614
If only there were a word for this kind of thought process....

>>18725614
You're not nearly as important to other people as you think. If, on the off chance, you have true haters... pity them and move on. Once you learn to not give a fuck, life is a whole lot more enjoyable.

>>18725654
Eh
So what are you doing that's introducing these irrational thoughts?

>>18725664
Not giving a fuck is sad though. I want to give a fuck. Instead of rejecting others, I want to look into them even more

>>18725668
Usually just walking somewhere. It's like that feeling when you become overly conscientious of your walking.

>>18725614
>>18725664
Or more elegantly:
>You’ll worry less about what people think about you when you realize how seldom they do.

>>18725683
Here is another

>Don't take yourself so seriously, no one else does.

>>18725677
I get that, it's weird as fuck. Overcome it by being fitter and stronger than everyone around me.

Mom
Dad
Fuck you.

>>18725698
Son
You're
Adopted

I'm oversensitive, and I mean... really oversensitive.

I worked for 3 days, and I'm dead. I went to the hospital because of the stress.

Someone said that my fantasyfootball team is shit, and I felt an intense pain into my chest.

I want to cry. No girl, and the saddest thing is that I don't want any partner, I know that I could not stand a relationship and that I would go to the hospital asap, on a burn out.

I'm fuuucked.

>>18725704
I'm serious.
They're cunts.

>>18725730
Hey could you get a tripcode so we can hide your posts easier? Hiding and reporting all your shit manually is really tedious.

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Half of me wants you to be happy and is sad to see what is happening to you.
The other half is taking great pleasure in watching him do exactly what you did to me.
I mean I don't believe in karma but it scarily similar.

>>18725752
>>18725760
Please, just get a trip. You'll be even more important and it will make things so so much easier for me and some other users.

>>18725730
>>18725760
>>18725785
You're free now dobby
You're a free house-elf
Could you please fuck off now?

And take these with you
>>18725738
>>18725752
>>18725770
>>18725793

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>Have borderline personality disorder
>Virgin
>Mild drug addiction, mediocre alcoholism
>Visit befriended couple
>Drink
>They do what only can be described as foreplay, full of joy
You would think that this was hell for me but I never felt better. It had therapeutic value.
They showed me that life doesn't consist of just pain and suffering like my ultra-catholic father told and showed me.
Pic related. It's a metaphor for my education.

Then there is this other friend of mine:
He is as charismatic as a wall street psychopath. You wouldn't belief how good he can lie. It's scary. We know each other since forever, yet he manages to fuck me over again and again. He's good at apologizing. I still like him a bit more than I hate him. Pretty sure that he's actually a psychopath.

I've got no urgent problem but my loneliness. That's why I'm posting

>>18725810
oh no please no anything but the tulpa army coming to burn down my house

>>18725725
I know that feel.
You may have a boderline peronality disorder as well. Not every borderliner cuts but most get hospitalized sooner or later. Read about Nietsche or listen to https://m.youtube.com/#/user/KatiMorton That helped me. A bit.

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I will never be able to express how remorseful I am. You instantly forgiving me, comforting me and saying the perfect thing doesn't help either. All it does is remind me that you're too good for me. You're too good for the hideous side of humanity that I'm a part of. I don't deserve a friend like you. I don't deserve to have been saved by you. Hurting you is the very last thing I want to do. I broke a promise to myself that I'd never hurt you. I try my best, but it isn't good enough. You will never know the extent that I care about you. If I told you you wouldn't believe me. There are reasons, very good reasons as to why you are so special to me, but I am too timid to tell you. You probably would think I'm just going out of my way to be nice. I wish you could appreciate yourself for the truly amazing and beautiful person that you are. You will never know how much it hurts me to hurt you. I'm not a bad person. I'm just stupid. I'm just not deserving of you.
I'm so sorry.
Please don't forgive me for once.
I'm so fucking sorry.

So you say that you fell out of love with me before the holiday. So when you told me that you loved me after we had sex...that was a lie? I spent the whole holiday with someone who didn’t love me?
It honestly seems like you haven’t even tried to fight for it. All you’ve done is left it a few weeks to see if you felt anything..instead of trying to do the things that made you fall in love with me on the first place. I gave you the option to go back to where we had our first date. I ran so many ideas and future plans by you and you nodded and agreed. Where as really you were leading me the fuck on?
If i hadn’t have confronted you on whatsapp about you treating me differently, would you have ever even told me? If i didn’t tell you to meet me this Sunday to officially end it, would you have just left it there? Never see my face again and just be satisfied with dumping the person who you apparently loved on Fucking whatsapp?
You have no respect for my feelings what so ever

>>18725725
>>18725839
I can give better advice since I've been living with this for over a decade:
The emotional instability will not pass but as far as I can tell it gets easier to handle with time as you learn to know yourself.
Look for stimulus satiation when you feel that pain in your chest. Fast and loud music for example.

>>18723369
Maybe they think about you daily too. ..

>>18725852
How are you hurting them?

>>18725852
You sound like you could like an abusive partner. Like me.

I'm having a real hard time this past week justifying not offing myself. jfc everybody is blowing me off, even people I fucking pay to do shit for me aren't calling me back. Can't stand the fucking weekends because I'm not distracted by work. At least normally I can just wake up, go in, come home and go to sleep right away.

>>18725883
When people get angry over little things (not calling you back sounds minor to me) they need love.
Go love yourself!

Your previous relationship still bothers me. I can still visualise the video I [shouldn't have] seen in warwick. I fucking hate it. I know it's not normal or rational to feel this way but i cant stop it from spoiling how i feel about you

>>18725925
The downsides of modern technology are manifold.

>>18723317

my literal 9* say yes for a beer and im a fucking worthless dog of a manlet to the point i don't fucking know if i have balls to go. Im so fucking scared with women i believe its a trick or some shit. its just not possible. halp

>meet cute girl
>she just left her bf
>talk to her every night on phone
>tell her I fell in love
>meet her 3 weeks later and hang out with her over the weekend, just chilling
>she doesn't really wanna talk to me since
>me slowly dying inside

>>18725909
Yeah, it's a little thing it's just what triggered this recent drop. I've been blown off a lot in the past month or so, so "even my fucking barber won't text or call me back" was just the last straw.
It'd be great to think I'm okay and love myself, but when everybody else seems to think otherwise it's hard to disagree with them. I know if I saw posts like these, I'd think "yeah, he's probably a loser and people don't like him for obvious reasons", and I'd probably be right most of the time, I'm sure I'm no exception. I'm just apparently not worth the time of day to anybody. If I could go back and beat the shit out of my high school and university self for not realizing how much of an issue this was going to be I'd fucking curbstomp him. Lol, but nah, it's cool, I don't mind being alone, I'll just keep my head down.

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I had drunk a fuckton and passed out, in bar, in front of friends. They made several photos of me, sent to my ex-GF, and I don't know if they were sent in public, in social media.

How fucked up is it?

>>18725966
Just ask them if they did

>>18725966
It's not great you're getting that drunk in public and weird anyone would bother your ex with photos of you, but I don't see anyone in this situation with reason to be angry

>>18725947
Getting rejected hurts less and less just as your sense of self-worth declines with every time it happens. In my experience.

>>18725995
I knew she didn't want a relationship or anything and I never brought it up. Just not sure what I did wrong. She's been so important to me and I don't wanna lose her as a friend. I don't know how to move on anymore.

>>18725950
Well, at least you reflect yourself. Can't say that about everyone.

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>>18723432
You're justified to feel upset over not getting those clients, but it's not like you had great chances anyways. Your GF has been divorced before, and probably care's more about doing what's good for her than she ever will for you. She gave the clients to a guy at her office because 1) he has a family, which she sympathizes with, and 2) she probably has admiration for you than you think. You need those clients, but so does that other guy apparently. I'm confused why sent none your way, unless that's not possible somehow. How badly do you want those clients? That should be your gauge on how upset you should be, but to answer your original question, you do have a legitimate reason. Just don't take it too far, or else cut your losses, since mixing your work and love live will only make you incredibly angry if you fuck up your relationship.

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>>18726013
I always know what I did wrong when I get repelled. I wish I didn't but it's always painfully obvious. The faux pas.
>Meet cute vegan girl
>Eat salad with mushrooms
>Tell her that, biologically seen, mushrooms are rather animals than plants
I can't believe I've done this.

>>18725862
I just constantly say really stupid, insensetive things. I'm completely fucking autistic and have no idea what time it is to be honest, what time it is to be nice and what time it is to be joking.

>>18726053
Mushrooms aren't animals...
They're just genetically closer to animals than to plants.

If you're gonna be weird, at least be right.

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>>18725582
All the things!

I wish I could swap sex
But all the options for being trans are pretty shit.

>>18725839
>>18725855

Thank you

I don't know if i miss her or just having a girl in general. I had such a great time with her and now it's gone. I don't know why she did not want to continue with me and it hurts. She's enjoying the new life as a first year student and i'm a last year bachelor student in a rut. I can't forget her when she is so 'close' she is a mutual friend so there's a 100% chance we will meet again. I want to forget her and find a better girl but the memories are too fresh. She was not even perfect yet i still want to return to those days. Now i feel so confused about love and dating. Everytime i'm thinking i'm experiencing real feelings the girl ends up leaving me explaining how she did not have feelings for me. Yet we walked hand in hand, slept together, showered together, cuddled on the couch watching tv like a couple. I said to my friends that i don't practice wishful thinking and that it's over now since she was probably 100% certain in her decision. Yet deep down i do hope that she willl contact me again. But since she is a girl and she was the one that broke it off i see no chance in that. I just miss her and we dated for just a month. i'm pathetic tbqh

>>18726062
>mushrooms are rather animals than plants
>They're just genetically closer to animals than to plants.
Where is the difference?
Mushrooms aren't plants either.
If you're gonna be a smartass, at least have a point.

>>18726075
>Where is the difference?
One of them makes correct use of the English language to convey a true fact.
The other fails to achieve the above.

Sometimes when i start a song i get a premonition of the feelings the song inspires within me. Some songs provoke anger, or vigilance. Some songs promote sadness, reminiscing and regret. But that's it. No excitement or happiness, at least not anymore from what i've seen. Maybe i've not found the right song yet, but i am looking.
What's weird, is the premonition is often more potent than listening to the song itself. Like i get one brief look at my soul, but i cant handle it so i turn back, close my mind to it.

>>18726063
So many things

>>18726090
I'm sorry that my second language skills don't please you. In my defense: I have neither eaten nor slept in the past two days.

>>18726020
Yeah, that skill has proven very helpful to me.

You seem like a nice guy. I appreciate what you're doing, and hope you never turn into a negative PoS like me, but believe me, I'm going to turn anything you say into a negative, regardless of what it is. Of course I wouldn't do that in person. I'd have more of a valid explanation for why nobody wants anything to do with me if I was just overtly negative all the time. But given the context I'll just be straight with you.

I used to just consider suicide as a non-option because of my parents, and sister, etc. but now it's just
>my bank accounts could probably solve most of their financial issues.
Which, obviously they would disagree with if given the option, but in the long run, I would argue would be better for everyone.

>>18726065
titty skittles and makeup until SRS is less shit tbhon

>>18726093
Have you tried a completely different genre? When I'm in a bad mood I listen to dark, energetic music to get euphoric.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WtBsKyndHVQ

>>18726100
I've been that cynical just a week ago. I drank a bottle of booze every day, with little to no food. Things escalated, I got anxious and asked for help.
My friend helped me. He's the best.
If the pit of despair is too deep you'll need a friend to get out of it.
You don't want to die in there. No one does.
Ask for help, not a barber. Call your family.

How do I stop myself from catching feelings?
I think I'm starting finally get over my ex but I was helping an old friend from highschool study for her class. And we've been meeting up everyday. Me and her use to have a thing back in highschool but it didn't work out but we're good friends now. She has a boyfriend. We were talking about her getting a car and she was sitting really close to me almost leaning on me. And God damn I want to take her right then and there. I started looking at old pics me of me and her and I can't help but want that. But I need to stop myself she has a boyfriend and she's happy with her relationship. I need to stop myself before I do something stupid like try to make a move on her.

I met this girl through a friend and I really want to ask her out. My friend is confident that she'll go out with me so I'm not really afraid of rejection, but I can't help but think of everything that could go wrong (she ends up not liking me, I end up not liking her, her family/friends don't like me, mine don't like her, she gets pregnant, etc...) and it's holding me back from asking her.

I've never dated before so I don't know what to expect. How do I get over this?

>>18726209
>How do I stop myself from catching feelings?
I've come to the conclusion that the only way to deactivate your libido completely is by becoming a NEET with a fridge full of alcohol and an equivalent amount of cannabis.

I fucked up everything and I can't stop crying

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>>18726241
It will be okay. Everything will be fine again someday.
Make yourself a hot chocolate milk and get a blanket.

I'm not ready to be 20.

I'm ignorant and stupid and I want to die

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everything is actually alright

You're literally the shittiest person I've ever encountered and that's saying a lot.. gg

>>18726219
Same here.
Are happy couples rare because dates go wrong or because there are so few dates at all?
>>18726262
You can be 20 and still 16 on the inside. Grow up at your own speed. Adults are either like children or they are dead on the inside.
.>>18726265
You're being cynical. Who hurt you?
>>18726267
nice

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I hate going to Uni. All I think about is constantly killing myself. Everytime I get a test back, I feel like walking out the door and jumping off the nearest building. It sucks knowing that at work I'm successful and get praised for it, but when i go to school I feel like a down syndrome retard because I struggle to barely get by and get mediocre grades. It's bizarro world to me. Everyone in my classes are people who constantly quit their jobs, get fired, and generally don't do well in the real world (I know from socializing) but are A students. I don't even know anymore why I haven't off'd myself yet. I have a year left is why I guess.

>>18726282
Your head's in the wrong place...these people are awkward fucks who're only good at one thing. School.

Some people just have the right disposition to memorize and reguritate. You don't. Doesn't mean there's something wrong with you--especially when you're doing so well out in the REAL world.

>>18726282
I felt like that when I was working on construction sites. Now I'm glad that I didn't do it.
Endure it. Better times will come.
Btw I left uni after two weeks because I was unable to socialize.

Just block me...

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>>18726294
>>18726304
I hope better times do come. The only light in my life right now is work because I'm good at it and know I'll be able to go to high places with my skills. But life really sucks for me. No matter how hard I try, everything outside of my control is just crumbling and hurting me in the process. I hope I do get to be happy one day. 20+ of non stop sadness takes its toll on you.

You hurt me very deeply, but I know you're trying your absolute hardest every day to fix it. I really believe that, from the bottom of my heart. I really believe I'm not being tricked, and I have the solemn word of someone I would trust with my life that you're being honest. But the anxiety just won't go away. I'm still afraid. I hope that some day, I won't be. I just wish things could go back to the way they were when we first met.

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>spend two years unemployed, living with family, helping them and dealing with personal issues
>get everything back in order, out for a job
>rejection, rejection and rejection
>aim lower
>more rejection
>friend getting his life back together tells me his job is kinda crummy but 'they'll hire anyone and I'll put in a good word for ya'
>feel like interview goes well
>rejected

It's never going to end is it?

>>18726304
I went 4 years of college without friends. Kinda fucked me up in the first few years. I didn't have a single friend until 5th year. Socializing isn't everything but it really helps.

Sometimes I wish I could get tested for autism, but that's not easy in this third word shithole. Took me 5 years to get a 4 year degree that some people get in 3.5. Now most of the people I graduated with have great jobs, and I don't know them well enough to ask them to put in a word for so so I can get hired too. fml.

worlds with a dribbling dribbler
meat spinning, subsonic thumping
used to be the tightest
now a fist,an apple and a bib
little bits of jukebox hits

black dressing, prom salads and spiked drinks
grey avian birds dressed in black, at ease
warm button, hot war, nothing comes easy
ten foot footsteps a million miles away
have you seen yourself in the million of lights
guess nothing comes easy, even eyesight and sound

the portal of stars, the iris of a rooted apple
even knowledge takes a break yet a mother just doesn't
even when she does the child will bear the mark
they say they know the one yet the one don't know thyself
searching within two, to find what it represents
father of the three, overseer of the two, guide of the one
sound the alarm, red hot hearts are soon becoming one
original as the day comes until the job is done

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Posted in the last thread about how my bitch ass friend/roommate was gonna ditch me with the rent/lease to go move in with her fucking boyfriend she's been dating for literally 3 weeks, but then decided against it when she found out, surprise most apartments wont let her have a billion pets like our place does, and will charge her out the ass for having them.

So I went and talked to her, because I've been friends with this bitch for so long, tried to salvage our friendship and told her how hurt and betrayed I felt that she would try and fuck me over like that to move in with a guy she barely even knows. I talk to her a bit about my problems too, how I'm lonely, and desperate, and how I hate being around couples because it just makes me feel even more lonely and desperate and hopeless. Tells me she understands, as a show of good faith she invites me out to a carnival thats in town, since we haven't hung out a lot recently. I was happy to take that offer, rekindle our friendship.

She comes home, says "lets go I'll drive". Get in her car. As we're pulling away "OH BTW MY BF IS COMING"
And I'm pissed "Soooo I'm just gonna be a third wheel then tonight on your date, that's whats going on right?"
"Noooo no anon I promise, he's just gonna be there to drive if we get drink, I won't third wheel you I promise!"
>Third wheeling to the maximum within 5 seconds of meeting up with him.
They fucking cuddled, kissed, held hands, took selfies together, there wasn't 20 fucking seconds where he wasn't touching her and telling her how much he loved her and blah blah blah.
I just had to fucking sit there and watch the disgusting PDA shit show.

Fuck this bitch. Just fuck her. I'm putting her name in my suicide note.

>>18726338
>I hope better times do come.
Can they get much worse? Probably. Will they? Unlikely.
>everything outside of my control is just crumbling and hurting me in the process.
That happens to everyone in one way or another.
>non stop sadness takes its toll on you.
That's true. Do you fab enough? It's a factor to my depression, which is currently gone.

>>18726095
Share with us all the things, anon. Penny for your thoughts

>>18726338
No matter how long, cold and dark the night is, the sun will eventually rise.

my (soon to be) ex gf doesn't want to have kids with me, but rather want to adopt a fucking ni**er child
im so pissed

i think i should kick her out - that shit is insulting and i wont take that
stupid fucking whores

her reasons are retarded too... she wants that ni**er child (in hungary) because she doesnt want kids of her own because they *might* get bullied and she doesnt want to participate in that whole overpopulation thing
both reasons are fucking retarded, first of all, that ni**er child will stand out of a basically all-white class (and will get bullied for that) and second, we have enough orphants here who could need a parents - we dont need to import a fucking child like a bag of bananas from another continent ... but noooo, it has to be a fucking ni**er

How can I call "depressed" people on their fake bullshit?

Depression isn't even a real mental disease, just a feeling. But assholes use it as an excuse to be lazy and whiny. And since their "mental problems" make them like a protected class they are spoiled and entitled. There will be a witch hunt against you if you call "clinically depressed" people on their bullshit and lies. I fucking hate that.

>>18726367
Uh oh. Shit's about to go down.
>>18726410
Oh wow. That's extraordinary at best. Does she want to show off? I'm European too. Is this the goal of "our" political agenda?

Is it completely fucked up that I take stimulants to relax. They seem to be the only thing that makes me feel like I have some sort of control over my life.

>>18726405
Thanks : ( I give up though. I don't anything.

>>18726432
You probably love a lifestyle where you have jack shot to do. Get a new job or take up a creative hobby instead and say no to drugs.

>>18726425
>Depression isn't even a real mental disease
I stopped reading right there.
Fuck you and fuck off.

>>18726428
i dont need to care anymore
i just dropped that bitch
she can go now to the next rapefugee shelter and get her shit colored child in a few months

the most im pissed off about myself because my instincts failed me to filter such mentally insane people out of my social life
i invited the enemy in my own house and slept with her in the same bed and eat with her from the same dishes

disgusting

>>18726436
*Deserve anything... I haven't any fight left in me. I'm so hurt.

>>18726410
You sound mentally ill. A shrink might help but it sounds like you don't want to be helped. But it is obvious from your post that you are paranoid and have some anger issues.

>>18726432
Have you been tested for ADHD?
My friend got diagnosed and has had a Methylphenidat prescription.

>>18726462

That kind of behavior is the result of being spoiled to the point of self destruction if you are well to do, and of knowing a bad crowd if you are poor. Either way more drugs and shrink visits are not the answer. A lifestyle change is. Stay away from anyone who sells or shares drugs and put yourself to good use instead of blowing money on therapist appointments while you continue your downward spiral

>>18726460
you cuck
are you from western europe or the US?

yeah, she denies me to have my own children
but she wants to raise other peoples children on my expense
and add to that, not even a child from my own nation, culture or race (we have enough orphans) - no, from africa

but im the sick one

i wont get cucked on that one

>>18726479
Wow you really are too far gone into crazy cuckoo land

I like to take an ass load of melitonon just to see how fast I can fall asleep...don't really care if I die or get sick from it

>>18726460
If my wife would want to adopt a kid from Afrika instead of having own, I'd get anger issues too.
>>18726479
I'd consider myself left but: Well done!
It's in fact sick what's going down here. Every other day I read about a rape in the newspaper. And surprise, surprise he was from the maghreb countries.

>>18726428
The icing on the cake is her bf has the same name as the last and only man to ever even pretend to love me, so every time I have to hear her say his name all cutesy I die a little inside.

>>18726483
you're cuck
nothing you do or say has any value

>>18726440

This is what I'm talking about.

>>18726477
My friend doesn't get Methylphenidat anymore.
I just wanted to state that ADHD is treated with stimulants and that
>>18726432
>only thing that makes me feel like I have some sort of control over my life.
could be ADHD.
>Either way more drugs and shrink visits are not the answer.
I've had schizophrenia and I strongly disagree. You are dead wrong on this.

So last year I was about ready to kill myself but then I met someone and we became good friends and she basically restored a bit of hope to my life. Spending time with her is virtually the only thing I enjoy doing and I would say that I love her. Not in a romantic way, although I certainly wouldn't mind dating her if A: she didn't have a boyfriend and B: she wanted to have children (she says she never does while I very much do so I guess it would never work out anyways) but I don't really feel sad by not dating her as long as I get to spend some time with her every now and then.

I was wondering if I should tell her all of this. I would at the very least like to tell her she is a very important person to me but I don't know how to. I haven't really let anyone see my emotions for like 15 years and I just can't open up anymore.

>>18726511
Isn't getting your hope restored the best feeling ever? Happened to me a few days ago. A pretty huge chunk.
Say:
>she basically restored a bit of hope to my life
>she is a important person to me
Don't say:
>I certainly wouldn't mind dating her if
I'm no expert, but I wouldn't say anything of it till you feel comfortable.

>>18723317
>Move to a shit country as a kid.
>Grew up learning the hard way that people are awful.
>As an adult, have a happy life working freelance and having no one to deal with. Everything is quiet, no one bothers you while you're working and enjoying the simplicity of life.
>Move to first world country.
>People are too loud and too nosy.
>Want to try to get along but get constant migraines because of it.

>>18726425
I feel the same way.

>>18726540
You can go to a doctor now.

>22
>no friends, no social life, no job for 4 months now
>just play vidya, watch youtube, watch animu/read manga and shitpost here for escapism all day every day since I was 13/14
>live with parents
>been around them so long and my personality is so different from theirs that we drive each other crazy and I regularly argue with them
>they're not abusive or neglectful, I'm just sick and tired of handling them and their arguing every day
>purposefully stay up until 5/6am everyday so I can avoid seeing family members
>cycle between being pissed off and being tired, staying in my room all day doing nothing and gaining weight
>parents think I'm job searching, in reality I'm making excuses to myself for not doing so every day

The only thing I've dreamed about since I was a teenager was leaving. Going somewhere else, ideally a different country, to fix my life and start anew. It's the only dream I've ever really had; I've never had a dream job, but I've always wanted get fit and do an honest, hard-working job. I don't care about romance or finding BFFs, I just want to feel like I'm doing something with my life. I feel the most energetic and alive when my family isn't home or I go out to buy supplies for myself, so I know I am capable of getting my act together once I have the opportunity to be alone and do things for myself. At the same I know just leaving my family won't fix things. It's not because of them, they just remind me of why I want to leave so badly.

I know that staying where I am now is leading me to despair and it's the reason I can't bring myself to do anything most days but my problem is I wouldn't know where to start if I just left. I'm scared to run off with little money and no job prospects but I honestly feel like if I stay like this any longer then I'll end up doing things that I can never fix, or do nothing and never sort my life out.

So you remembered?
Thanks.
And, I'm still sorry for how I acted that day. I swear its like something just came over me.
Take care.

>>18726511
If you don't know how to tell her, then show her. Be there for her when she needs help herself but you should make sure you're not doing it in the hopes of getting in her pants. If there's ever an opportunity to tell her it'd come naturally, forcing yourself to open up just because you feel obligated to would be bad for you.

>>18726548
>purposefully stay up until 5/6am
Best tactic
>I feel the most energetic and alive when my family isn't home or I go out to buy supplies for myself,
I told my father to go fuck himself, packed my shit, left for two days, came back and apologized.
These two days has been the best days of my life so far. I have never felt so independent and attractive ever before. I still feel a lot better than before.

It'd be cool if you didn't see me wanting to know when you smoke as controlling. Or if you didn't smoke twice a day now. Or if you didn't have an unhealthy relationship with weed that you've personally admitted to. Or if you didn't say you'd rather live in an area where weed is legal than get help

>>18726367
LMAO look at you, salty ass bitch. Just get your own boyfriend and you won't have to envy romantic partners people more attractive than you.

>>18726241
What did you do?

>>18726462
>>18726502

I was diagnosed a few years back but I just can't seem to convince myself that I'm not faking it. The meds did help me get my life together. I found a job that I like and even started college again. But when the meds wear off I can't stop thinking that I'm just a worthless junkie.

Been a shut-in/neet for around 5 years now; I have no irl friends (just 4 people play videogames with that I've never met in person); recently I've been thinking a lot about a girl I haven't really seen or spoken to for a decade and it's driving me mad.

I even saw a doctor already but they were of no help, referring me to some site for depression that had nothing for coping strategies (basically only explained what depression was, felt very condescending). I don't know what to do, my anxiety and agorapohbia is so bad that I genuinely don't know who to turn to or how.

>>18726280
>there are so few dates at all?
I'm not sure what you mean by that

I wish I could eat you out

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>>18723317
God I miss my crush

>>18723432
Yes

I feel stuck in this relationship. I dont want to break up with him but at the same time I want to be worry-free. How can I do that when I dont want to lose him but he's the cause of all my worries? It feels like this relationship is already falling apart. He can be verbally abusive when he's not in the mood and I get really scared. I want to escape but I dont know how.

>>18726053
This makes me like mushrooms even more

>>18726596
>(just 4 people play videogames with that I've never met in person)

You're doing better than me friend. I've always been to paranoid and embarassed to talk to online players, never mind consistently playing with them.

While I still have no actual friends myself I am a lot better at talking to people IRL than I used to be, thanks to the retail job I had for a few years. Retail sucks ass and ID checks made me anxious every time but being forced to talk to customers on till, even though what you say is mostly rehearsed, and on shop floor has helped me learn how to talk to people more than anything else in my life. So while I have no actual friends, due to a complete lack of social media presence, I still feel better than I used to because I'm not a complete sperg around strangers anymore. It's not total progress but it is a noticeable step forward once you do it.

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>>18726584
>But when the meds wear off I can't stop thinking that I'm just a worthless junkie.
Low feeling of self worth is a normal symptom of coming down. You should know that.
It's 6 am here in Europe and I'll go to bed. good morning and because i don't see you, good afternoon, good evening, and goodnight
>>18726596
Understanding your problems is essential to be able to live with it.
She knows things: https://m.youtube.com/#/user/KatiMorton
>>18726606
Probably a local issue. My hometown sucks.

It's 6 am here in Europe and I'll go to bed.
Good morning, and because i don't see you, good afternoon, good evening, and goodnight!

>>18726155
>Friend helped me
Well uh oh, I've run into a problem executing this plan.

Regarding family, pretty sure all they can do is make me feel like I'm giving up even more control over my life than I already have, which is already one of my problems, in that I can't seem to influence anything around me even when I go out of my way to try to. I'd sooner talk to a therapist, but again, the money is probably better spent on something, or somebody else. You know, there's a point at which fixing the car just isn't worth it anymore.

>Father passed away from 3rd cancer back in feb
>slight hypochondria ever since
>become hyper aware of everything after rib injury thinking I had a horrible lung malady
>get chest xrays and told everything a-okay, but have tiny lung nodule
>while they're almost never cancerous in young people, still getting bumrushed towards a lung doc and they're probably going to want me to spend 12k I don't have on CT scans if not tear out half of my lung, in the worst case scenario

I did not need this boatload of shit, I just wanted to graduate, then get up, get off, and go start my life, but here I am being meek and poking around medical studies and not sending out resumes. I want to create massive change and never worry never again

Dan,
Where have you been?!

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I can't fucking wait for my last god damn day of this job I hate. I hate all the incompetent people I work with and I'm tired of living with my parents. My new job that I accepted will fucking save me and get me away from this hellhole.

I've made some serious fucking mistakes and I'm glad I made them now and not further down the line in a place I want to stay. I shat where I ate and I'm still paying the consequences. Worst of all, I still have feelings for someone who hates my guts.

The sight of her still makes my heart skip a beat even though I know she's nuts and has crossed the line multiple times. I know in time I'll be able to forget with the distance but god damn...I need it.

Also, I still feel like I should kill myself. I wanna finish my album and then blow my brains out but I know that would be horrible for anyone who gives a shit about me. I just feel worthless and full of self hatred.

>>18726640
>You're doing better than me friend
Debatable, it sounds like you're passable at socialising irl, as I can't anymore due to being a hermit for so long. I end up stuttering/repeating words or being too shy to say anything at all - it doesn't help that I have a deep, groggy, voice that even my own mother mocks sometimes. Oddly, I don't have any such issues speaking online, only face-to-face. I've also never had a job and am terrified at the thought of getting one, something about the outside world legitimately scares me. I wasn't joking when I said I have agoraphobia, and I have no idea how to get over it nor what to do with my life after the fact (I only have highschool education and have done literally nothing since then but play some piano).
>>18726643
>Understanding your problems is essential to be able to live with it.
>She knows things: https://m.youtube.com/#/user/KatiMorton
Saw a link to this channel in another thread earier, I'll check it out I suppose.

On nights like this, I wish I had a cuddle buddy.

>>18726450
Not dead yet.

>>18723317
He died a year ago thiis Sunday, and I think about him every day.

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>>18726656
I remember a quote from a tv series or a movie.
>Do you know what an animal does that has been trapped?
>It gives up!
Sometimes there is no other option. Nothing that can be done.

If you are aware of that, please don't expose your miserable situation, seemingly asking for help when you have long given up. Not very cool.

>>18726497
You have to break free.

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>>18726577
>Getting a bf is as easy as asking for one hurrrr
I can't. Even you can see I'm irredeemable and insufferable. I entered in the stage of desperation too long, there's no way out of this. I had a chance maybe 3 years ago before I hit the point of no return, but had absolutely zero people interested in me regardless.

And frankly, she's not attractive and neither is he. He's obese, she's fat and also got shitty skin and facial features. They both just settled for uggos I guess. She's one of those "looks don't matter at all uwu" weirdos anyway.

I'm l feel invisible. Girls never talk to me, even if we're paired in groups. Guys never talk to me unless we're paired up in class. People look away if I look at them. I haven't made as single contact during my 5 years of college and work. What's wrong with me?

>>18726670
initials? There are a lot of Dans out there.

>>18726676
I'll cuddle with you anon

>>18726681
What do you mean?

I wish i was dead. I truly truly wish i was dead. I want to get the balls to finally end it. One of my best friends is gone, my job life sucks, my relationship sucks. Everything about me I hate, I try to put this mask on like "I'm the funny guy, I'm always not caring about things". I can't fucking do it anymore.

>>18726714
I don't want to be insensitive but it's probably your looks. Haircut, clothes. Everyone looks at least decent in fitting clothes. Maybe change your style a bit.
Workout sounds a lot worse than it is. Don't go to the gym, gyms suck. Ride a bike, grow an ass in your pants. Swimming is fine, too.

>>18726732
Thanks I needed that anon, I'll have to settle for massive blankets and puppies on the couch.

AHHHHHHHH

GET IT OFF MY CHEST

>>18726425
Except depression can also be caused by a chemical imbalance that can only be corrected by medication. How is that not a legitimate illness?

>>18726748
you can fix it with meditation. Stop making excuses and start living

>>18726339
I wish we could go back to but there's no returning to that time. We have to live in the here and now, we're both damaged but we are wiser now. I want to fight together through this life with you until I expire, I won't ever leave your side again.

>>18726337
>Just block me...
You should do it.

Im just scared, thats all. I know you want me back in your life but you did such a bad job at it the first time, and I know you learn from things like that, but i feel as if Im an easy rebound for you (even told me about all the douchey guys you dated since we broke up).

I dont hate you but just know I'm really fucking scared right now. Maybe that month or so distance was needed but how the fuck do I know it wont end up like it did last time and you seek out other guys, get fucked over with karma, and come crawling back to me.

>>18726753
>you can fix it with meditation.

>you can fix a chemical imbalance with meditation
Great! I'll meditate away my peanut allergy while I'm at it.

>>18726755
I don't want to

>Reached the point of college where I have to start taking classes for a second language
>Legitimate head trauma growing up has completely fucked the way my memory works
>Got a tutor, studied my ass off, etc
>Failed Spanish 101 anyway
>Somehow supposed to retake this and make it all the way through 202

I wish I could just say "I promise to move to Washington" so they'd say "Oh, sure, no language requirement for you". I've dealt with challenges up til now but studying, getting help, etc has always been enough. Now even with all that, I'm falling short and it's killing me.

I suppose all I can really do is keep at it, but venting helps.

>>18726425
>Depression isn't even a real mental disease, just a feeling.
This is completely wrong. You're confusing "Depression" with "being depressed". Your only problem is that they named it poorly.

>>18726734
Put the mask off if it's too heavy. People won't like what's behind but that's not your fucking problem. Go bad. Drink a beer in the morning, be a bit mean here and there. It's what I do when I want to die and it works. It makes things change, not necessarily in a positive way, though.
Just become a nihilist for a while. Nothing really matters.

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you're the type of person i knew you were. you don't care about hurting other people, you care about you, how hurt you're.

even after all the shit you did i write you to ask how you are and that i'm concerned about your mental health..... and you destroy all the shit that i gave you? like literally everything.

every. fucking. time. i do something nice for you, you find a way of fucking it up.

you're a horrible person and i hope i never see you again. good thing i'm leaving the country next year..... i don't want to see you or know about you.

my heart is literally shattered into pieces, i befriended you, i cared about you, i helped you with your hw and that's how you pay me.

you fucking monster, i'm literally in tears.

>>18726760
Then why would they want to?

>>18726748
>>18726768
HEY! You guys over there! Feeding the trolls is strictly forbidden here! They are already overpopulated.

>>18726780
There are many people who legitimately feel that way though. It is a very common feeling if someone you care about has very long lasting depression, they are completely self destructive, they project their negative feelings, and they never show improvement. Man needs to be corrected, but who is to say he isn't just venting from being burnt out from someone like that?

>>18726786
>>18726425
>TIL In the psychology of human behavior, denialism is a person's choice to deny reality, as a way to avoid a psychologically uncomfortable truth.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Denialism
How have I never heard of this? Seems like the basic aspect of human nature.

So I just drew myself giving a blowjob to the guy I like. That's a new one.

>>18726779
I don't know. I don't understand what he's doing. Most of the time, he seems like a friend but other times he purposely hurts me. I feel backed into a corner but I don't want to give up on him. He can give up on me. I just don't want to keep being teased. I think I ruined our friendship by falling in love with him. I vent here because I can't say these things to him. He doesn't really tolerate any of this kind of behavior. I don't want to push him away. I'm not having expectations on him more than just don't treat me abusively. I don't think I'm capable of protecting myself where he's concerned. I've known him a long time.

>>18724157
This wasn't meant for me, but boy did I need to hear it

Take me back to a time where I actually felt something, I just feel numb and frayed.

>>18726807
Like this?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hct6HT6dHJo
Worked for me.

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I hate this fucking board so much. I avoid it like the plague, and I feel more guilt ridden whenever I post here than when I post on /r9k/. I wish I had a clear image. I don't care of what. Of who I am, of who I want to be, of who I pretend to be, of the type of person I want to be with, of what I want in the future, or of what my future will look like if I continue down this path; anything.

I wish I could sleep. It'll be 2:00 AM EST soon, and whenever I stay up past midnight, I wake up in the afternoon without energy. I can't go anywhere, I barely take care of my hygeine, I don't leave the apartment.

40 fucking dollars. I think I have like 30 in my bag. Maybe 20. 26 I think. I don't know. It's not enough. I think I'll buy a few pens, pencils, highlighters, and I'll just look through what I already have here. I wish I knew how to drive. I wish I had a car.

There's nothing I want. I don't want to be here, I don't want to leave. I'm living a passive life, and I don't want to change. In times like these, I like to reflect upon my life and look back fondly at any memories I hold dear, but there's very little I'm nostalgic about. I can barely remember anything.

I don't have a past to return to, only a present, and a future. 2017 is okay. That's all years are. Okay. 2016 was okay. 2015 was alright. 2014 was okay. I don't remember 2013. 2012, I only remember December. I remember Christmas and New Years, when she became a part of my life. I'd thought she'd a part for long, but she's leaving to New York and I don't care about her anymore.

It's selfish, but I like the person she was before. She should've never changed.

>>18723317
There's this new girl in school and I've been talking to her a lot. She's cute and really innocent and I'm quite into her. At this point she considers me a best friend. The issue is that I'm kinda into her, but she's into a friend. I have instead of furthering my own cause helped this girl get with my friend as I watch from the sidelines and see two awkward teens try to talk to each other. I want a relation but at this point I think I'm in too deep.

>>18726731
D.G.

Zach,

I'm sorry I let our friendship slip away. I hope that I was there for you when you needed a friend the most. I'll forever appreciate you being there for me. I hope you're doing well and I hope you didn't get back together with your ex. You deserve someone better. Under different circumstances, maybe it could've even been me. You're such a sweet and caring soul. I hope you're able to achieve all of your dreams. I'm still cheering for you. Good luck and remember what you're worth.

>>18726856
spooky. Can I get a little context?

>>18726801
Lucky guy.

So recently, about 8 weeks ago, I got a new coworker. She's from out of state and has only been here a couple months. Right off the bat I had a little thing for her, just like I've had for other cute coworkers of mine. But nothing out of the ordinary. We'd have the normal chitchat, but I would still get those butterflies in the stomach feeling. I mean I think she's cute as fuck and well I'm not a very social person, so it was nice when she would talk to me, but I still saw it as just an acquaintance sort of thing. Plus i've been in a relationship for quite awhile now and wasn't looking for anything at all, just more or less letting a crush of sorts run it's course. She has a fiance as well so it wasn't even in my mind to start anything. Well last week we were talking about the weekend that just passed and how we both had gone drinking. She mentioned it would be nice to go get a drink since I was one of the few friends she's made since moving here. I was surprised she viewed us as friends, given we didn't talk a whole lot, it it made me suggest she give me her number so we could setup a time to hang out. That night I get home and start texting her just usual beginner friend stuff just to feel it out. I haven't made a friending quite awhile as I'm mostly comfortable with my small group. Almost right away we get into these long texts,really getting to know one another. And she mentions something that catches me off guard, saying that I'm the best part of work. At this point in flabbergasted. But I throw her a compliment too as I do enjoy or small talk and shes friendlier than most of my coworkers. It starts dawning on me that we might be flirting. She eventually asks if I am still with my girlfriend. Afraid I perhaps said something I shouldn't I addresses it and apologizes if I was too flirty or anything. She comes back saying no she was just curious but that she likes being flirty and was enjoying being flirted with. To be continued.

>>18726880
Initials?

>>18723317
I cheat on my wife on a regular basis ever since she told me I should find other women to do the things she doesn't want to any more. She does not know and I will never tell her.

>>18726950
Before I know it we're flirting back a d forth, i admit my crush on her, and she confesses she has a crush on me since the day she met me, and would go out her way to see me at work. So it goes until the weekend passed and Monday night hits. Usual stuff, flirting talking about movies etc. A while passes and she tells me her fiance saw her phone and doesn't want her to text me anymore, but goes on to ask if I have snapchat since it wouldn't save our messages. This hit me for a loop. I explained I was fine calling it off and that if I had overstepped my boundaries I apologize. She said she didn't want to stop talking to me and that he flirts with other women too. And she seemed really sad at the prospect of not talking. So I went ahead and made one, against my judgement. The next day we were back to the same routine this time she was actually sending me selfies. And in turn I would send some as well, something I don't really do, and she claims not to do much either. We talk for hours after work, flirting, and confessing things like how we would make reasons to somehow see each other, not knowing we had these feelings the whole time. And tonight she explained she usually texts me a lot because her fiance works nights the other days of the week so she's more free to text me. And that it wouldn't be as frequent but she would still try when she could to talk to me over the weekend. We have made plans to hang out after work this next week.

I don't understand what's going on guys. I'm just a really average guy. Im not a very good looking guy. I haven't been flirted with or had someone be into me since high school. Well other than my current girlfriend who I have been with for 8 years. And this coworker of mine happens to be pretty attractive in my opinion as well as a few friends I trusted to tell.

What do I do here guys? I think I'm catching feelings here and I have no idea what she thinks of our friendship. I'm out of my element here fellas.

>>18726950
>>18727004
I'll try a tldr. I'm mostly a lurker and sometimes helper. This is my first time posting a problem as I usually stay out of things.

Tldr: attractive engaged female coworker wants to maintain a secret flirtatious relationship with me. Thinking we're both feeling more. What do I do?

>>18727022
She wants to cheat with you if you are okay with that go ahead otherwise you know what to do.

>>18726985
I seriously doubt you're him. I don't think he comes to this board. But if it is you, just look at the snap I sent you last week.

Right now I need strength and guidance to pass this test tomorrow. It's basically the next step in my career and my life.

I'm getting anxious as fuck thinking that I will forget most of this stuff, but I will try my best.

>>18727050
You got this anon relax rest and believe in yourself.

>>18727026
Does she? I mean why risk an engagement? I've looked her up on Facebook and most of her photos are of her and her fiancee sharing kisses and posing together and such. I mean she seems pretty happy with the guy based on the pictures. I went looking after all this started to see if it would satisfy the curiosity. Just doesn't make any sense to me.

>>18727060
It is something new, taboo that kind of shit. Have you ever met a woman before?

>>18727065
I guess but I mean she seems more invested than sex. She seems genuinely interested in more. Granted I know next to nothing about this stuff. I kinda fell ass backward into my current relationship. Before that I didn't have anything going in high school except for the only other girl to flirt with me. Though that was short lived and went nowhere. I'm more used to rejection and such so I gave up. So this situation is unprecedented for me.

>>18727078
Chances are she will sleep with you a few times then get married and forget all about you.

I work a job that pays close to minimum wage. It's not bad but, I just hate people, and by that I generally mean my coworkers. I don't like saying "hi" to anyone because it takes effort. The only reason I do greet them is because it makes them happy, but saying hi to 10 different people everyday within a few minutes of walking through the door is annoying. I have to give each person their own individual hello because one person is at the front door another is at the counter and then there is that guy in the locker room the manager at his desk and the boss closed off somewhere else. Regardless it is alright. I have my dignity is all that matters, I am respected, people suck up to me and everything is good. But at every point in time I'm not thinking about working with these people. I simply want to draw. I don't act nice because I like you, I just want to draw but I can't because I'm poor and my mom is single because my dad is a deadbeat drunk. So I work for money with the goal of one day abandoning everything so I can draw, alone, in complete isolation. Every noon is spent drawing, on the bus I am drawing, on the work toilet I'm always drawing even while eating I am drawing and when I sleep I dream of the next good draw. Normally I would be saving up for university but I'm not smart enough so I'll never be accepted. But what does being smart have to do with drawing? I mean surely if I draw hard enough would you consider accepting me? I mean you accepted everyone else they clearly had no chance of accomplishing anything with their lack of talent yet you turn me back for some odd reason even though I cry in front of you I want to draw I want to draw so god damn bad when you ask me about what my passion is and what drives me to create I didn't know what to say because I spent to much time making myself sound intelligence in an effort to entertain you and show off how smart I am but fuck that I just wanted to draw the whole goddamn time
cont.

>>18727057
Thanks. I needed that

>>18727085
To be honest, as much as I probably would enjoy it, I don't think I want to. It keeps me up sometimes making me wonder why this is happening. I mean there's plenty others she could definitely get if it was just that. Since we started texting, shes been hanging out with me more at work. Part of me thinks she might be unhappy at home. I just never imagined I would be in a position like this. Though I would be lying if I said I didn't enjoy the flirting. It's an experience I never really had.

>>18727091
I didn't want to sit in a class and listen to someone less talented than me talk about dead people I didn't care about and their unknown accomplishments no one cared or wasting hours writing critiques on things I weren't interested about learning skills I wouldn't use or would never see use in real life scenarios because the entire time I could only think of drawing precious drawings sweet sweet drawings with each I push myself to my absolute limit and I feel the self gratification of completing something I could never possibly complete because I'm generally a lazy sack of shit but when I'm drawing I can do anything I can accomplish anything I am a god. It's funny because a few of my classmates were jealous of how visibly lazy I was yet how talented I was at art. I was amazing, everyone knew it, it made no sense how I could draw so little yet have so much innate raw skill they just couldn't understand it it made no sense to them and they hated me for it, and i love how much they hated me so each and every time I draw I take a moment to remember them and laugh and jeer and hahaha they couldn't make it, they couldn't draw good enough, they thought they were working hard but they weren't, all those assignments were meaningless because they were only drawing what was required, while I simply didn't give a fuck what was required. "Oh why don't you draw a few squares and triangles for me anon". Shove your squares up your ass you old broad, I'm gonna draw a big ol' booty with some nice titties and the whole class will love it.

>>18727108
Maybe it is bad at home for her or maybe she sees it as one last hurrah before marriage who knows. Well just keep flirting until it get to the point where you are uncomfortable.

Aw, is the game over already? I was having fun playing along to whatever you guys thought you were doing. It was a wild ride I must admit. It was the acid I swear. It made me see right through it since the beginning.

It's about the journey, not the destination.

>>18727129
Yeah. We have a day planned this week for drinks so we can hang out outside of work. I'm actually nervous about it. I'm hoping to gain more insight but I'm not sure how to approach it or what to ask. Any ideas?

My fucking roomate!
So I've been living with this girl for a while, she's not a slob or anything... on the contrary she likes it really clean.

But she met a guy about 6 months ago and ever since she's been neglecting her responsibilities in the apartment: I agreed that she could bring her cats when she moved in but for like 4 months now I've been the one having to clean up after them and feed them since she's barely home...

We had a huge fight about 3 weeks ago when it was time to re-sign our contract for the apartment: I had asked her weeks before about it, I was a bit worried that she wanted to move in with her bf:
>"Are we going to re-sign the contract or are you moving in with Anon?"
>Yeah, I've been thinking about it but it's still early between me and Anon and I think it's best for everyone if we sign on for another 6 months"
So I got the ball rolling to get the contract "negotion" started and blabla, it dragged a little so we didn't get that finished until late october (last day to re-sign was the 1st of september) So when I got the contract in the mail I contacted her about it and all of a sudden she tried to pull out using 20 bucks I had borrowed from her as an excuse.
>"You borrowed 20bucks and didn't pay it back when you said you would... I can't trust you"
I had just totally fogotten but that's beside the point, it was an excuse and nothing more.

Luckily I managed to convince her to re-sign the contract after all, i mean it was 10 days left until we had to move,the apt is too expensive for me alone and there was no waaaay i'd be able to find another place in 10 days.

Well today the cat shat on the floor, it's not the first time: They don't want to use the litterbox when it gets too dirty.
SO I just sent her a friendly reminder: "You need to clean out the litterbox more often"

and holy fuuuuuck she got pissed!
I've been nice and let her pass for 6-7 months on her "chores"/responsibilities in the apt so she could be at her bf's.

>>18727143
Just be yourself, flirt if you want but know outside of work it is a bit riskier, especially at a bar. She will probably make a move or push you towards making one.

>>18727156
Yeah I understand that. But at least I would know more about what's on her mind. Is there anything I should ask or bring up?

>>18727180
Easiest way would be to straight up ask her over drinks, not right off the bat of course.

>>18727203
Hmm yeah that makes sense. I enjoy the feelings but I'm also frustrated. I mean this was the last thing I expected.
Is there anything else I should talk about or look out for?

>>18727154
I ask for one thing! one very simple thing: Come home and clean out the litterbox atleast..

It's not even demanding much, its just asking her to fulfill her responsibilities.

>>18727228
Ask her about her and life outside or work get a feel for that whole situation.

Mainly just watch out for getting to liquored up.

My grandfather is the only one I have left after loosing my wife and son to a shooting and I've been thinking about getting a gun and going just after him.

>>18727244
Yeah I try to find a way to ask but it seems awkward in text. We just end up having fun flirty talks. At work she's just all smiles with me and to be honest it's a nice feeling. It's just tripping me up I guess. If she's being honest and it's not just a sex thing, she seems pretty smitten.
And yeah I'll be careful around that. It's going to be a work night. If I may ask, how should I word this? Anything else helps too. Sorry if I'm being annoying. I'm just totally clueless on how to handle this.

>>18727261
Thinking about it the best bet is just continue being flirty, have fun and let her know when it goes further then you want. Don't pry or bring up the fiancee and all that.

Enjoy it and if nothing ever comes of it then you just have someone fun to be flirty with.

>>18727274
Yeah I mean I could just keep it at the status quo. It just kind of bugs me not knowing ya know? Keeping it fun and flirty sounds nice. I just hate feeling like I might be catching some real feelings. I do feel this sense of attraction around her that I can't pinpoint.

>>18727286
Do you guys touch while flirting. If not maybe try that while you are out.

Seems like you like her so why not go for it?

File: Yuno_Gasai_excited_knife_twirl.gif (1MB, 500x248px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 500x248px

Hey, sweetie.
I won't be checking this board anymore. If you post here to play those alluring mind games with me again, I won't see them. Find me elsewhere. Start by looking towards the stars.

Your
S.P.G.

How unnattractive are under eye circles to women? I feel like they detract from how I look.

>>18727464

I find them actually atractive. (And I'm a gurl).

>>18727483
How? I feel like it's ugliness, unhealthiness just reaching out from my eye sockets...

I can't stop feeling sad for myself. Not even sex can mend it.

He gets paid and its all about getting what he needs. I get paid and suddenly its "we" and "us" that needs to be taken care of. Then when he blows all "our" money on garbage, "we" gotta do more to fix things up. Sure, buddy.

>>18723432

>dating a divorced career woman with kids

Wouldn't be surprised if she's fucking the boss AND that guy

Yes she did you dirty you little cuck, dump her ass

>>18727325
No not really. We only ever actually see each other at work. But I can feel something if that makes sense. Like we both want to.
And I'm pretty sure I do like her alot. But she is a coworker who is engaged. And I've been with my girlfriend so long it practically feels like marriage. Plus for all I know, she might just wanna stick to friends or flirt friends. I wanna be careful to not make things odd for her or me. But I feel like I need to find out what's on her mind. No matter what it is, at least I would know then and I could approach this better.

>>18726883
I haven't seen him at work for a while...

My brain isn't healthy enough for college or work. I want to go to therapy but I need a job to afford sessions. I'm becoming more useless with each passing day. I don't deserve the air I breathe.

>>18727988
guess just really odd coincidence, gl