GIOYC - Get It Off Your Chest

i'm clinically insane, have a fuck load of problems, and really wanna fuck and get high.

Ok. I did something really dumb. I messaged an ex from years ago after completely forgetting he/we existed. He popped in my head and for some reason I had this urge to know what he was doing and missed him really really bad.

I found him on facebook and he only had one photo from years ago and status set to single but a few posts sprinkled here and there from the past few months.

After I messaged him he responded. He told me he was married and had a 1 year old and even sent me a photo of them. I said congratulations but I felt kind of heart broken. Isn't that weird? I literally didn't care two days ago.

He asked if I was with anyone, and I am and said yes. He then started to give me baby advice. He told me things changed a lot... and how when we dated he wanted kids but he would have been a bad father.

He said he had to go and thanked me for thinking of him. I said he could stay in touch if he wanted. He started to type.... but stopped and never replied.

HAHA I am such a loser. He didn't really want me then why would he now?

It's hard to say what's on my mind sometimes, I honestly wish I could just straight up tell you that I love you and that I NEED you in my life but I worry it'll push you away, you are my everything, for the past 5 years we have been close and often people would mistake us as a real couple, I love you so much, but I don't know where we stand, you tell me that you could never love me more than a friend, but then you tell me these things that just make me confused, you send me gifts and hold my hand, I love you so much but I don't want to lose you, hearing your voice when I fall asleep and hearing it again when I wake up is what gets me out of bed and makes me feel alive


I love you.

I had an horrible day.

>>18694606
>I messaged an ex from years ago after completely forgetting he/we existed
How does that even work? I think about every single one of my exes several time every single day. And not just exes, old friends, family and so on. Pretty much everyone I was close to the last 5 years. I think about them every day. Multiple times. How can you forget someone you were this close with? And then you pretend to care and act heartbroken? Fucking lol.

Get your shit together. You are an insecure attention whore and you're just mad that you can't have this guy anymore no matter what you do. But not because you care about him - because you care about the validation you would have gotten from him. Leave the poor guy alone.

Not trying to be mean, you just sound like an ignorant ego.

>>18694641
I didn't break his heart (to my knowledge) and it was 15 years ago and I was a teenager. We never had sex and it was a pretty short lived 'romance'.

I don't know how you think but for me I have met and befriended too many people to think about cyclically on a daily basis. I don't remember why we stopped talking but I remember being sad about it.

I think I was heartbroken and my brain blocked him to ease the pain.

>>18694687
>I have met and befriended too many people
Sure so have I. But I definitely haven't romanced too many people to think about daily. But for me, having a romance is something special and worth remembering.

>I think I was heartbroken and my brain blocked him to ease the pain.
Lol sure. You were just so heartbroken you didn't think about him for years. Poor you.
Girl, you don't have PTSD. You were sad about ending a short lived romance without sex. But you don't even know why. Heck, maybe you weren't even sad.

We're not speaking of severe trauma here. Your brain didn't just block someones memory out. You simply did not care, which is why you forgot. Don't try twisting this into the opposite.

>>18694606
I also get jelly of my friend's successes.

>>18694621
speak brothah/sistah what's the story

>>18694722
wtf? I most definitely cried my little girl heart out for a few days and was probably bitter about it for months at least. I cared. Too much to be honest, just like now.

>spend months wallowing over the fact that I can't find anyone to date after a traumatic breakup
>redownload tinder for the 4th time
>now I'm talking to 5 cuties I'm all interested in and a few of them are interested in me
how do I not blow this

When I met you at 4, the solemn lonely boy in the door, I never imagined all that would pass, but I felt that unfamiliar tether in my soul settle between us, and I knew it would last.
Those dark eyes burned forever in the back of my mind. I'd find myself always looking down the street towards your house, sometimes catching a glimpse of you at just the right moment. I always knew when you were there. In the halls of school I'd feel you, look up and we'd lock eyes, lol away, and live our lives.
Every day I'd tell you hi. Down the hall, I don't know why. That sophomore year, you were just right there, I'd reach out, despite being scared.
So dofferent, we were. You stayed quiet and dark. I being bright, rising, laughing, socializing, couldn't feel further apart.
Up on stage, singing and dancing, I'd look out, wishing your face was in the crowd. Every arrow I shot, every track I ran, cheer I called, ren fair I'd walk, sport I played, every song I sang, I'd look out wishing I'd see you, but that wasn't your thing.
My type, wasn't your thung.
Yet one night out of the blue, you messaged me. I didn't know yet how to use social media, I was a face to face person. I felt so disconnected, awkward, lost typing to you.
Few words, no emotions, but you made every word count.
I loved you, and when we finally were together, I thought we'd be together forever. Night and day, light and dark, balanced.
It wasn't so easy, but we made it work.
Being your wife was the greatest gift you ever gave me.
Every fight made us stronger. Every memory made me better. .........

>>18694800
well for one you have to actually choose one and actually go through with the date.

this will be the hard part that you'll probably screw up on. A week will pass without you doing anything about it and then you'll remember this post and go "goddammit"

At four, at your door, looking into those dark eyes, I never imagined I'd look into those eyes and not see you. I never imagined that an accident could take away the man I loved. I never imagined I'd look into those eyes and only see hate, only see anger, only see rage, only see a stranger.

I never imagined all of who someone was could disappear in a split second.
I never imagined you'd hurt me, over and over, each time worse than the last.
I never imagined I'd have to leave you to save my own life.
I never imagined how much it would destroy me to give up on us, even if you stopped existing long before.
I tried. I held on for two years. Doctor after doctor and no one could bring you back. Hit after hit and I just couldn't take it anymore.

Years later, we talk, and it's so strange. You've managed your anger, but you're still a stranger in my loves body.

I never got to say goodbye. I'm crying typing this, years later and it's still not fucking fair.

I miss you. I love you, and I miss you

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Good night /adv/ sleep tight

Hey /adv/

I'm terribly afraid of fucking up. I rarely drink when I'm sad. I drink when things are going well and i'm terribly afraid to mess things up. Ive been drinking more lately and it has me concerned. I noticed this today and stopped myself from having a second beer.

I'm 23, a full time student, and also work more than 30 hours a week in a leadership position at a startup where i never really get a day off. Next semester I will be transferring to a prestigious university as long as I maintain a certain -high- GPA. I'm learning two languages, and constantly filling out annoying scholarship applications and other paperwork/forms that make me want to strip naked, fasten myself to the roof of my apartment and scream at the next thunderstorm as the elements lay siege to my body. I'm prone to bouts of stress and anxiety when i miss a class or Fail to get an A in a class.

Ive been more short tempered, impatient, very sexually promiscuous, and also aloof with social relationships. My friends are catching wind of my sexual exploits and getting judgey about them and my drinking.

Ive made immense progress in the last year of my life. I dont want to fuck it up and go back to being the laughing stock of my family, and I will not fuck it up. but fuck, this is hard right now. I will figure out a way to make things work, and more, as I always do but damn it is painful right now.

>>18694860
Goodnight

>>18694878
Keep it anon, your hard work will definitely pay off soon enough.

>>18694860
Goodnight Yuno. I love you.

I ostlost my computer to seizures and crashes today. I'm weeping at this loss. It hurts even more as it was 4 days since my grandma died last year. Why does September have to be the month of death for me?

It hurts as I lost the two things that keeper me tethered to my world. The business world and the love world. My grandma was my world and her death tore a hole within me only the computer could attempt to fix. Now I lost that.

I am at a loss at what to do. I feel so defeated and sad.

I'm in love with a woman who has had a propensity to cheat. She and I have been close friends for about a decade, and fucked it up with her about 3 years ago. Despite her flaws, I cant get over her, despite trying for years. But i think its about to come to a head.

This week she told me she's likely pregnant, and she's not sure whom of 2 men is the father, between her current boyfriend and one of her coworkers. She has not yet told either of the men.

I dont know how to react to this, to say the least. I want to be 'supportive' as much as one can be, but its yet another bad decision, it doesn't really have anything to do with me, and i'm hardly an unbiased person in this circumstances.

I do know that this is pretty heavy shit. There are a million ways that shit can go sideways in this situation, and i know the world isn't convenient enough to prevent someone from getting hurt.

Im worried that something will happen and it will leave her on the street with a kid on the way. Im worried that someone might get violent over the circumstances.

Im also worried, that if she came back to me for help, that i would actually give up my plans for her and her bastard kid. Im also worried that she might have no one to help her should I disappear.

Honestly, i dont even know what im thinking anymore. I wish this existing around people thing was easier.

i really want to post here but i won't, i have a funeral to plan.

>>18695013

just fuck off from her. she means trouble for you. it might be a huge regret on your life but swallow it up. don't be the third party life she is ruining.

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Im too boring for most people. I don't drink, I don't smoke, I'm saving myself for marriage... It can be hard but I wouldn't change it. I wake up happy every morning while my friends are hung over in a strangers bed complaining to me about their problems.

It's disgusting when non-Native American people dress up as Native American people with cheap imitations of sacred head dresses, say it's all in good fun, talk about ~*the cultural exchange*~ and how good it is to share cultures, but stay quiet when it comes to issues like Standing Rock or the fact that Native American women are one of the most vulnerable groups when it comes to rape in the US.
They're all for the commodification (and subsequent lowbrow cheapening) of an entire group's cultural aesthetics, but stand by idly when genocide, rape and pillaging of those same people (by their own group, no less, ie usually white people) occurs and continues to take place in the modern age.
On a less urgent but still as repugnant level, non-black people do the same thing to black culture. They take aesthetics, musical innovations and vernacular born of resilience in a time of poverty, oppression and strife to make themselves seem "rebellious" and "unique". Instead of integrating cultures and "ending racism" like they swear on their life they're trying to do, they use it for shock value and then discard it once it gets inconvenient, or once they're done getting what they want.
Funnily enough, most of them also don't speak on issues that affect black people because they don't care. They really don't give a single fuck about the people they're copying, except maybe for sex, drugs, "street cred" or the next thing to copy. That lack of care is why my heart will never bleed for a white person who gets cyberbullied for wearing dreadlocks.

>>18694568
So I got to ask are there any meds out there that can make one loopy but not give you any form of psychosis?

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The older I get, the more aware and critical of society I become. I guess it's a good thing because the world is starting to make sense, but at the same time, it's distressing and sad. The most repulsive thing is when people accuse anyone who points out the inequalities of the world of being a "communist", an "islamophobe"/"fedora-tipping atheist" (depending on what religion is being denounced), "misandrist", "racist" or "pulling the race card" all to protect their own feelings.

Like it or not, a lot of problems in this world are inextricably linked directly to capitalism (regardless of how equally shitty communism would be), religious extremism, sexism, racism and general ignorance. Why can't people just have basic empathy? At this point, I'd be happy for the human race to die off. We think we're so much more intelligent than every other species, but somehow we can't figure out how not to fuck each other over for personal gain, which is really the same as fucking ourselves over in the long run. I want to be nihilistic and go on about how nothing really matters, but every single day I find a new reason to be saddened and enraged.

>>18695013
Her bad decisions her problem. Dont let her fuck ups ruin your life. If she can't get one of those other men to take care of her then she shouldn't have been sleeping with such low quality men instead of you.

>>18695087
Mhm. White people are just hated by everybody, what a time to be white.

I'm so happy that I get to go outside everyday, and know that it's in the back of everybody's minds that I'm a slaver/rapist/genocidal lunatic who doesn't follow whatever fucking religion or cultural ways that they do.

I guess that's my fault for not telling the rest of these white guys to go and cut it out, huh.

Fucking pain in the ass.

The general attitude of natives towards white people is generally: "Get the fuck out of our business" To be absolutely fair. The only time I have natives not insulting me or pretending to be nice is when they're asking me for money. It's not like they don't have their own sub-culture of despising white people, and teaching their children to as well.

I propose strategic nuking. Give EVERY group their own little tiny island, and we can just all stay the fuck away from eachother. Clearly humans are just far too stupid to get along.

>>18695155
>Mhm. White people are just hated by everybody, what a time to be white.
Wow, great job making things about you and your feelings and how "everybody hates you". Great pity party. FYI, I don't get mad at random white people I see on the street, just the ones who explicitly do the things I pointed out. Most of my friends and my SO are white, so how could I hate white people as whole?
If you actually are one of the people I criticized in that post and are just conflating doing ignorant, terrible things and being reductive of other racial groups to being white in itself (which would actually be pretty racist), go ahead and feel victimized. I've said all I wanted to say already. I don't feel the least bit sorry for you or your subsequent insecurity from hearing other people call out awful behavior. You know why? Because you certainly don't give a flying fuck about anyone else.

I'm not happy, I'm not happy with my relationship nor the rest of my life but I'm not suicidal. I know I also won't be happy being single and don't really want to be part of another relationship if/when this one ends but I can't help trying to make any cute girl I talk to interested in dating me. Even the ones that obviously wouldn't be partner worthy. Then I feel jealous if they don't fall for me and talk about seeing another guy, but that always passes pretty quickly. I don't know what my deal is with women and it's not helping me fix the rest of my personal issues.

>>18695184
You're an idiot.

Stating the facts, you know nothing more of me than my race. Yet, here you sit making assumptions and holding preconceived ideas of the type of person I might be.

It's satire. Of course everybody is a victim. You're a victim, black people are a victim, asians are a victim, natives are a victim... Everybody is a victim. At some point, you just have to realize that people on the whole, regardless of their beliefs or the color of their skin, are just terrible. It doesn't matter how you justify your hate, it doesn't matter what lines you draw, and what you choose to correlate. At the end of the day, it just doesn't matter.

You can erase all culture, color, and gender from the face of the earth. It still won't stop people from clubbing each other to death. It just means they'll make up a new excuse to do it.

Shitty people to shitty things to the people around them. So, I'll repeat: You do not know me.

>>18695227
>Stating the facts, you know nothing more of me than my race. Yet, here you sit making assumptions and holding preconceived ideas of the type of person I might be.
I didn't do that once. I made that conclusion based on the fact that you responded to "This thing that some people do is pretty disgusting" with "Everybody hates me for being white! What is this world! Woe is me! :(". And your response to me addressing that is some trite, equally reductive spiel about how everyone is bad. News flash: That doesn't make the bad things I'm pointing out any less existent. We're not living in a world of no race or culture. If we were, I would probably be making the exact same post filled with disdain at people being shitty. Since we're not, here we are. Deal with it.
> Of course everybody is a victim. You're a victim, black people are a victim, asians are a victim, natives are a victim... Everybody is a victim.
You had your feelings hurt for no good reason and came at me with passive-aggressive nonsense about how everybody hates you. That makes you more of a victim than a good 70% of the people I've ever talked to, and I know people who have suffered some of the worst humanity has had to offer. Congratulations.
> So, I'll repeat: You do not know me.
You don't know me, either, but based on you attacking me and calling me an idiot for not validating your retarded, selfish whinging, I can already tell we wouldn't get along. And that's fine, because this is an anonymous board and we never have to speak again. :^)

>>18695265
there's no such thing as true anonymity, and I'm sure we'll speak again many times

>>18695278
Neither of us will ever know, so there's no point in considering it.

>>18695282
I'm not him lol

>>18695287
See? Point proven. No way to know.

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I feel so happy when we're together, holy shit. I didn't think this would work between us, but you are winning more of me over and over with every passing day. I feel stupidly enchanted whenever we spend time together. It's gotten to the point where I now get heart ache thinking if it may not work out between us in the future.
I'd never really thought I would live the "oh, once you meet the right person they become your perfect partner" spiel that I used to say, but then you showed up and proved me wrong.

I could never tell you this without freezing up and shaking with embarrassment, but this feeling is so much more than infatuation. It's both terrifying and exhilarating.

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Some people should just delet themselves

I miss my fiancee

>>18695291
Yeah, you have way too much energy for me to deal with. Your response to clear satire is to mock the message I'm trying to portray, use anecdotal evidence to prove you aren't racist, and then passive aggressively attack me. Despite your original post clearly being racist. Your response to my second message is to skip over the entire point of it all, and continue to attempt to attack me.

Perhaps calling you an idiot was too kind a term? Whatever. I really don't care enough to continue this, as stimulating as you've made it all. I don't have the will for banter. If you're going to make a point, please be concise.

I would be interested in hearing your proposed solution to this all, out of curiosity if nothing more.

>>18695338
Sorry, but I can't be bothered trying to help someone so self-absorbed. "It's satire" doesn't make your posts any less ridiculous and self-contradictory. I've seen too much unironic rhetoric like that for me to believe you were only pretending to be retarded. Next you'll be saying your anecdotal evidence about how natives are "taught to hate white people" isn't really anecdotal evidence because it was a meme all along. That's a fool's excuse. I'm not here for that.
A word of advice: If you want people to take your "message" seriously and not skip over it, you should probably try to come from a place of actual seriousness and a willingness for decent discussion instead of (what you claim is) satire, baseless insults and overall foolishness.
I can't say it's been fun, but it has certainly been something. Good luck, have fun.

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Don't know if this is the appropriate place but heres a greentext story that has not helped my trust issues with women

>meet girl online
>apparently lives in the next town over
>we talk a bit, she seems cool
>conversation is hinting very heavily at meeting up to fuck
>one point she sends a pic of herself
>not great looking but fuck it Im horny and desperate
>today ask if she wants to meet up tonight
>she says yes and I tell her a place we can meet up at
>its really just a two minute walk from my house
>wait around for about 20 minutes or so
>finally get a text saying that shes arrived
>look around trying to find her and end up asking where exactly she is because I dont see her
>texts back with something along the lines of "I never actually left the house lol"
>sends some blurry pic of her doorframe
>she then says she "tricked" me and then blocked me
>take the 2 minute walk back to my house in confusion

This happened today. I'm not even upset or angry I'm just really fucking confused. What was her thought process throughout this? I only knew her for a few days so she apparently planned this out but all she really did was mildly disappoint me and waste maybe a half hour of my time. Is she sitting in her home right now acting all smug like "yeah I totally fucked with that guy". If anything I can get a good laugh at how incredibly dumb this experience was

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>>18695338
not him but
>be retard
>post retarded shit
>"that's retarded, fuck off"
>"NO IT WAS SATIRE YOU'RE AN IDIOT STOP ATTACKING ME REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"

The last week has been miserable for me.

Some nights when we talk I feel like I'm falling in love with you. Some nights I feel like we're just friends and I could easily walk away from what we have. I know you feel both of those too. But, whatever the way things work out between us, I'm glad to be in this with you. I just hope that this won't screw up our friendship and that we'll be able to find a way to be this close always, no matter what.

What if right after I get married they finally release the techonology that makes waifus real

I can't live like this any more.

My IBS has gotten to the point where I can't eat anything without feeling bloated and sick and in pain. My anxiety regarding my emetophobia has been skyrocketing since I got food poisoning in July and the IBS symptoms are not helping at all. It's at the point where I have an anxiety attack nearly every time I eat. My unrelated restrictive eating disorder has never been more effortless, but I'm losing weight way too fast and it's starting to scare me.

I can't keep crying until 2am every night because I feel bloated and waking up sweating at 5am every other morning because I had a nightmare about throwing up and panicking through my entire commute both ways. I'm supposed to be travelling to Europe in December and it's meant to be a total dream holiday and yet I can't think of anything worse at the moment. Long stretches of travel surrounded by other people, non-consistent schedules, no guarantee of my few safe foods, constant threat of food poisoning etc. I just can't handle it.

>>18694568
I have been having such a shit time lately but have been trying to scrape at the bottom of the barrel to try to make my life better. So much has been out of my hands too. My life is pretty fucked up.

some guy keeps calling my job every day and politely asking for one of my coworkers, then when we give him the phone the dude starts screaming "fuck you" and other explicit shit. now we don't pick up the phone anymore but I'm kind of afraid. I work overnight so it's even more crazy cuz this guy has to stay up until like 3 am to start calling. I'm afraid he might show up one day.

I can't tell you how much I love you, even if I say it all the time. You are such a brilliant, beautiful, special being. Just imagine, I live in a constant state of fear and anxiety, and terrified by it itself. Not even pills or drugs or alcohol can erase it (it's always there, in the bottom, and so you've seen me desperately try to drown it many times). But you, you make me feel so safe. I'm so grateful for it I wouldn't even dare to do anything that could disturbe you. So even if I say it often, I always keep this part to myself. And it's okay.

>>18694568
Hey adv, wth I am supposed to do

I dated this girl for 2 years
I liked her
Physcially and mentally

And now I am starting thing she is not beautiful when ever I see a women who is taller than her or have thick hairs

My gf has a thin hair and short
I never thought I was materialistic and seeing these things

And I fear this would give me resentment and force her to be something she is not

So after months of hiding I told

Told her I find thick hair and taller women attracticr and j feel materialistic and Jack ass

And I aksed you to see hair stylist bcs I felt I would lose attraction towards you because of this

She broke down and cried and I feel like a Jack ass to even loved her and putting her through something like this

I wish I never existed

I wish this life is just fake and I am just dreaming


What is wrong with me

>>18695487
are you on drugs or is English your third language

>>18695405
ibbi itll all be good

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>>18694568
I browse /adv/ to not feel as miserable

I've got two things to say, I guess.

1. I'm too scared to reach out to people who catch my interest because every time I do so, they just end up being rude to me. There's a couple people I want to talk to right now, but I'm too afraid of being ignored or yelled at again for no particular reason.

2. To the empath I met at that party back in my sophomore year: I thought about you again yesterday. I'm sorry I didn't ask you to send me a quick message before we said "goodbye" to each other. I still wonder what would've happened if I had. Maybe I'd actually have some friends here by now. I wish I could have another chance to see you. There's something about you that really stood out to me. You're not shallow like everyone else in this city is. There's some actual depth to you. Talking to you felt like I was talking to a real person as opposed to some sort of robot. I know that this was years ago, but shit I want to see you again.

Im a diagnosed retard and this happened to my group today.

>sitting with my retard group on a normal bus
>perverted retard with bpd acts like a cunt to get a young pretty disabled-support-workers attention
>pretends to fall over in front of us
>older disabled-support-worker wants to make sure his okay
>retard hits older disabled-support-worker because he only wanted attention from the pretty young one and hates old women
>he spergs out and assaults a random woman trying to steal her phone
>young disabled-support-worker gives into his terrorist demands to make him behave
>his suddenly happy and she is forced to talk to him the whole bus and train ride home
>everyone defends him
I tell them to not ever talk to him again and they are just like. . .
>"he cant control his actions and doesn't know what his doing ):"

They are lying to themselves…

Meanwhile;
>OH NO MAN SPREADING

Bleed out

You will always be dead to me

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>met girl online
>get along fairly well
>talk a bunch and spend time doing stuff together
>she seems to be into me
>I start to like to her
>talk and exchange numbers, start video messaging
>she tells me she likes me more than a friend and that she wants me to be here's
>sweaty man.jpg
>insecurities start popping up
>mfw as I try to hold them back so I can appear calm

I don't know why she's interested in me. She's beautiful, smart as fuck, much younger, from a well of family, talented, has tons of hobbies, kind, and she's slightly taller than me.
Yet, she honestly makes me feel as if it doesn't matter to her at all. Doesn't care I'm older, shorter, poorer, dumber, and average. She makes me feel special when I know I'm not.
I want to ask what her goal is, what she expects from me, but from what she's told me the answer is likely "nothing".

What do I bring to the table besides my oddly confident self? Which I never thought I could be, but she makes me feel sure about her, and a bit about myself.

Why would a person with so much treat a lump of coal as a bar of gold?
I don't understand, and I think the desire to want to know why is best kept locked inside.

Fuck, I wish I could read her mind. We have started playing games together as well. To add something we can share besides talking.
It's getting to point that I'm considering leaving my city to move to her town and figure shit out in person. She doesn't seem against the idea. Still should see about spending a week or so with her to see how things turn put when we add the full 3d world to it.

Everyone who fakes depression should die. It's so easy to tell which ones are lying

You think I'm hiding something from you, V? The only thing I'm hiding is that I'm in love with you, think about you all the time and only want to be with you.

I dated this girl for a month and a couple of days. I got dumped almost 2 weeks ago. Deep down i know this girl was not right for me but i still feel sad and miss her. Especially that i almost know for sure another guy is the reason she dumped me. That this guy is now experiencing the stuff i was experiencing with her and will probably not get dumped is making me sad as fuck. I dread the girl is in a relationship with another guy on facebook. I know for sure it's going to fucking happen AGAIN. inb4 why do i still have her on facebook, i don't want to send a signal that i'm butthurt because she is a mutual friend of my friend so it won't be the last time i see her. I did unfollow her yet i sometimes can't fight the urge of checking

I attended weekly Narcotics Anonymous meetings. This Sunday I will get my 'relapsing sucks' keychain.

>>18695329
Awww that's so cute. I am guessing you are a girl?

>>18696369
>my depression means more than your depression

it's just the attention seekers that should die. We all go through depression it's a human emotion.

>>18696401
>Ones who fake it
>FAKE
Way to have zero comprehension skills

>>18696369
How can you tell if someone is actually depressed? If they're constantly happy?

>>18696407
Asking if they have a diagnosis

>>18696406
Nobody fakes it, we all have depression.

>>18695336
can't remember whether it's one e or two in my case but i miss mine too anon

>>18696412
anybody who has been to a doctor to complain about being depressed has depression, dipshit.

Holy diagnosis batman, you're going through something everyone goes through.

>>18696414
Everyone gets a littpe under the weather now and then. Not everybody has depression you're fucking stupid

>>18696420
5 minutes of google is literally all you have to do

>>18695358

wtf :(

>>18696421
>everyone gets depressed
>not everyone gets depressed

what?

>>18696431
>False equivalency, really bad one at that
That was hard

>>18696436
>im so depressed/self-centered/attention seeking that I cancel out every and anyone elses emotions

>>18696487
>Projecting
Not really sure what you're trying to achieve here

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>>18694568
I want to keep warking. I don't want to go back to that "college". Fuck that middle school extension shit.

But goddamn it I can't tell anyone.

I feel like I'm never going to accomplish anything or be happy in life. I'm at a point where I need to start looking for a normal, decent paying job. My mom and brother work for a state department just in a normal menial office job. They say it's fine and I was considering trying to just get in there with them.

But I feel like I just can't. I'm afraid. I think I'm afraid of moving forward with my life. I don't think I'll be able to function on my own in society, like I can't be on my own. The past couple of days have just been brutal on my emotionally, physically, and mentally. I don't know if it's full on depression or just a mood for a bit, but fucking hell I just can't take it. Not in the mindset to kill myself thankfully, but I'm just scared for the future and unsure if I'll ever work things out and be happy.

I should get a defence, that's part of justice. Or at least my point of view. I didn't know anything about these people, and I'm not different to what you people type or broadcast everyday either.there might not even be a connection. Hmm .

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I found the place I been homesick for. That place is with you.
The hurricane heading your way will make it hard to remain in contact with each other for sometime. I will bare with it as long as you come back to me safe and sound. I'll wait for you. The way things are going between us, I hope this won't be a problem in the future.
You have given me the reason to leave this place. For the longest time I had yearnings to leave this place, but never enough reason. You may be that reason, and if you are, I am ready to pack my few things up and never look back.

Maybe is stupid to feel this way for someone I hardly know. To risk so much for someone else. The reason I am willing is not for you, I'm a selfish bastard. I want to see you happy, because it would make me happy. I'm selfish that I want to cling to you in the hopes that I can protect that smile of yours.

I'm stupid, but maybe that's why I'm willing to go these lengths. I am stupid, be that may be why I will not listen to logic and for once listen to my heart.

You pulled me from the brink of falling back into my pit. Pulled me away from giving in to what I once was, so I owe you more than the time and company we have shared.

You already have my loyalty. Just as I once told you, this is why you should never feed a stray. And, you, simply told me I wasn't a stray anymore.

If I have found that place I have searched for, then I will do whatever it takes to make sure it last. Because I'm selfish, and I want you and everything you have.

>>18696579
This made my heart melt.

>>18696423
Erm. Depression is a mental condition, you should see a doctor about it.

I wake up, do chores, play games till I get bored which is usually about 2 hours these days and then I just read and listen to music till I get tired enough so I can finally go to sleep

what a life
truly thankful for this miracle we call life ive been given
amazing

>>18696664
Not everyone can for social/financial/etc reasons, dumbfuck.
Pro-tip: Mental conditions exist even before they are diagnosed. Diagnosis just means you are being treated for it, not that it is now actually real.

>>18696679
No shit but you get a doctors opinion regardless you fucking dumbass
>Social
Because they're pussy?
>Financial
Does not cost that much you over inflating retard

>>18696692
Sometimes, you can't.
>Mental healthcare costs exactly the same everywhere as it does for me??? And uh, there's no stigma around it for anyone, other ppl are just pussies??? Mental healthcare is totally available for everyone too ://// And there's no way you can be too depressed or otherwise mentally ill to even push yourself to see a professional about it, let alone shower or brush your teeth or leave your house LOL That's not how depression works :3 So uh....yeah, your depression isn't really real if you haven't had it professionally diagnosed sorry xDDDDD
Imagine being this retarded.

>>18696406
Whose to tell if they are faking it, the most suicidally depressed people can come off as happy and may tell you they are depressed in confidence. Likewise some people who are depressed don't shut the hell up about it. It isn't something that can be detected to be real or fake.

>>18696704
>>18696704
Did you not read what I typed fuckwit
>No shit
XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
And you're being hysterical about health care costs and availability

>>18696749
>No shit
All your post had to do was end there, idiot.
>hysterical
You're probably faking being depressed and projecting that falsity onto the entire world. Pretty sad.

Care may be available but "quality" care is not. Most of the time antidepressants don't work for shit. When I'm depressed I do not seek treatment anymore. No one knows when I'm depressed because I hide it well. My main symptoms are numbness, apathy and being really tired.

>>18696749
Again
>My circumstances are the same as everyone else's. Stop exaggerating lol you're just being hysterical
Dumb as fuck.

>>18696773
If you are in the first world, health care is fairly easy to come by no matter your circumstances. It's more an act of reaching out than anything

>>18696792
There are more third worlders than first worlders in the world.

>be at job for 2 years now
>bunch of newcomers get hired because we're doing so well
>I'm promoted to project manager
>Boss has me relay all information because he's busy getting new clients or whatever
>all the newcomers fucking hate me because they think I'm being a dick
I'm just trying to do my job and I don't get why everyone fucking hates me. At this rate, I will end up resigning. I was supposed to get a raise anyway but instead he hires 3 new people instead because they're cheaper.

I didn't ask to be born, let alone be born here on the edge of the suburbs and a hectic hyper-city. I didn't get to choose you people. My people. I had no say in the creation of my image. My sex or gender. My skin color.
I wasn't, and then I was.

I can't stand it here. I don't want to work with people, for money, to buy my share of a landfill. I don't want to hear the buzzing of useless information everywhere I go. I don't want to make polite small talk about how bad the traffic is; It's an army of cars that make it hard to breath. I don't want to witness the horrors and hate, the grimy undersides of a developed world.

I want out.

>>18696398
You'd be correct on your guess, anon!

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My mission is to make your birthday with me a special one. Thank goodness there is no stairs for me to drop your cake on.

I fucking like you. So much.

That show about the cult with kevin bacon.

I have convinced people that there is an afterlife. They are not afraid to die. I made a true believe of them.

This is why they will die for me. Any of them would die for me if I asked them to...

They know I would do the same for them.

>>18696599
A part of me wishes I could just tell her all this, but we have only known each other for a short time. Yet, she made the first move to something else beyond two people that so happen to speak with each other. She started calling it our relationship, and seems keen on making me her's. At first I made no more of it, taking it as a jest, considering how some people can be, but she assured me it wasn't as such.

It's a strange thing to have someone who is physically so far way, but emotionally can pull on my heart strings as if they stood just within my reach.
I hope to someday have her at the actual tips of my fingers, to hold her close and reassure her things in life don't have to be as bad as we grew up to believe.

We are like two birds, huddled closely against the cold and bitter storm of life. She makes me want to be positive, and makes me believe in hope. She's stated the same. It's scary for both if us. I have been in other relationships in my past, but this one has what will make me chase a person to the ends of the earth.

I sound stupid because it's not normal to feel this for someone I have yet to meet in person. I am stupid for letting myself get so attached.
The clouds look dark as we head into the storm, but as long as we each have one wing, we may be able to fly out of it.
And, if I don't risk, I won't ever gain.
Maybe she feels the same way, maybe not. I have steeled myself for either result. For now, all I can do is hope for the best, hope to get that call it message from her telling me she's alright after the hurricane passes. Once that happens I can worry about the rest life may bring.

Such is life.

Sometimes I ask myself, "what type of girl do I like? What kind of girl should I chase after?"
Because honestly, I really don't know. Most of the time I like someone because they gave me attention and they seem like nice people.
What do I really want out of a relationship? I just want a relationship with a person I can really build a bond with. Someone who is articulate, makes me feel calm. Someone who smiles a lot and can light up my world.

I guess maybe that is my type of girl.

I have never met any group more untrustworthy, disrespectful, unkind, self-centered, and disgraceful group. You come into my life with my friends and my home and all you do is take. Money, time, food, friendship. All of it. Fuck you and everyone like you.

>>18694568
I don't even know where to begin. I'm living in Romania,underrated artist,jobless,who always dreamed of serving in the military. I'm 26 years old. First time i tried to join the romanian forces was in 2014,but i got rejected because of tattoos. In 2016 i tried the french foreign legion,spent 3 weeks there as a engage volontaire,got inapte temporaire 'cause i didn't know how to swim. Returned this year,got rejected again because of an injury. I got a friggid girlfriend,no money,no hopes for the future,no nothing. All i want is to fucking serve in the military. I don't even care what will happen to me,i'm just sitting and waiting to die.

I just want someone to cuddle, im cold

I want to be a composer.

>>18696669
Find new things to enjoy. Step outside your comfort zone.

>>18697209
I'll cuddle you, anon

Everything is falling apart and I am willing to admit I completely deserve it.

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Winter is coming. I know how cold it gets in there. If you still have it then I advise you to use that comforter to keep you warm. Even though we hate each other I don't want the cold to take you although you deserve it and far worse.

Good night /adv/. Take care of yourself

Not all white people are racist, but all white people benefit from racism. If you are not racist, what are you doing to help dismantle racism? Complicity and indifference only helps the aggressor, after all.

In the end everything will probably be alright, but damn the anxiety before I get there is killing me.

I'm an obsessed beta orbiter. I can't be truthful to myself, and I can't be truthful other.

I am better off fucking dead, I am sick of living every single day with a mind so irrational, so emotional, so fucking fuzzy and retarded.

I am in constant pain, and I deal with it all alone. I don't understand why anyone would choose to deal with it alone.

I have no outlet and its stunted my emotional growth and maturity.

I am so sick of life, so afraid of death.

you have told me time and time again that "nothing is as it seems."

Well, it doesn't seem like as if it's anything. I can think of a million fucking things and who knows.

I just want it to be over. It's a fact that there are people running this, that it's not in my head. I don't know if all the things about renee, my brother, my dad ect are real or if you were just wanting me to think those things. They could all be innocent or they could be the worst people alive. They could be acting or they could actually be terrible.

You could just be using me to communicate to someone else.

You could be doing a whole shutter island thing where you play out some kind of fantasy game.

Thing is though, this has been going on for a looonnngggggggg time. You can read my mind. You do alter my dreams. I just don't know what this is or why.

You could be using me as a mascot for a revolution I don't know I was even a part of. Like, broadcasting or

Who the fuck knows. I'm super tired.

God, please just end this. I'm so tired. I'm soooooo ttiiirreeeddddddd.

Didn't know being normal isn't actually normal. That sucks.

To gf. Stop being so fucking melodramatic all the time

To other person, stop being such a fucking pussy about life Jesus christ you literally can't take a single shitty day
Well guess what you can't live life without the shitty parts

And you're fucking killing mom with your stupid shit

Is it a bad hobby to write fan fiction? I want to dedicate most of my free time to writing something but I think I can only handle one thing at a time.

I am right at some point, really. Even as obviously that's not going to be how it turns out, I should at least get a "yes you are sort of right"

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The guy I've been using as an emotional tampon might be getting a gf soon.

I'm a terrible person for using him in the first place and I'm unworthy of life for being so upset by him finding happiness.
I'm such a selfish cunt that I'm scared I won't know what to do now that I can't dump my garbage all over him

People here are like "durrr women have it easier" yet I keep coming across job offers from my field where they specify they want a man.

>>18697676
I keep seeing the opposite.
Either way, there's only one objective truth: women have it easier when it comes to getting random sex and men want random sex. That's why it seems to men that women have it easier. That's it. No denying, not debatable. Let's get it over with.

I cried while watching Your Lie In April. Not because of the plot twist, but because I relate to the main character and he gets a girl and I'm left watching anime in my moms house silently crying.

Woman i have know for 14 years, a friend, who i have had a crush on and off for years, (i knowingly friendxoned my self when she was dsting and later married to my cokkege roommate, they have been divorced for years)
Is having a rocky patch in life and it now looks like her current relationship of 3 years is going to end.

She is also baby crazy.

Im conflicted. 2 years ago i would have swooped in. But today i had the realization that while i love her , platonicly , and could love her romantically, i hesitate because if all her baggage.

She has a degree, that could net her 80k+ with out trying. Instead she is running an unlicensed daycare in her house.

She has anxiety, depression and frequently snoke pot and drinks.

She is dating a dr. Currently and charging him 1400 a month in rent.

She is high maintenance now becuse he has spoiled her , and makes more than enough to support her spending and lack of work.

Adv. If they do end, should i peruse or not?

We are both 30.
I dont make dr and dont know if i could put up with her not working

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Craigslist jobs fucking suck ass. Where am I supposed to find a job if I have no friends?

>>18697072
Same

>>18697087
Sounds like a nice kind of girl.

>>18694568
I am so fucking triggered. I'm fucking triggering myself every day.


I keep going to my ex's social media. Not only my ex but her new it's social media too. A week ago me and her pics were up. She took them down. Then she set her status to in a relationship. And then he fucking puts her name with a heart next to it in his description. God fucking dammit I'm getting to triggered. I want to be the one to make her happy. But she hates me. I don't think we'll ever speak again.

There's only one more fucking thing that'll be the nail in my coffin is if either of them post a cute picture of them together. Thats what'll kill me. I miss her so fucking much.

I sent her a birthday message too. She didn't respond to it. I want to die. Yeah yeah I know move on and all this shit. But it's fucking painful. And it hurts so much that she's winning the breakups and I'm just a fucking loser trying to workout and smoke weed just to keep these thoughts of her away from me. While she doesn't fucking need to do any of that to keep thoughts of me away from her. She just doesn't care about me anymore because she has a new boyfriend whos shorter fatter older and has a job and is more charismatic than me.

I feel like such a fucking loser.

>>18697795
>Not only my ex but her new it's social media too
New bf's*

Has anyone done a lot of LSD?

I would do about 5 tabs or so every weekend or every other weekend depending. I haven't done it in awhile because my dealer moved away but the effects are still there somewhat.

For example, pretty frequently I will hear what I like to call "chattering".
It sounds like people are talking in my house, or a TV is on. It's only my wife and I and I can see the only TV from my computer. I can't make out what's being said but it most certainly is a conversation between multiple people.

Also, I still frequently get closed eye visuals and tracers from moving objects.

I think I've permanently fucked myself, not that I really care. None of it scares me, I would just like to know if anyone else has experienced the same thing.

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My degree-indecision begun at age 18 and lasted for too many years...at first I settled with something practical and that's what my family (ones beyond my nuclear unit especially) praised me for. My parents are basically the black sheep of an otherwise rich family--millionaire rich. They're very concerned with social prestige and stuff like that.

But then eventually I realized that there was no way I could emotionally handle the soul-crushing work my degree would entail and jumped ship.

Now I'm doing what I always wanted to do and making a livable wage which is gradually increasing because of my own efforts to expand my business...but a part of me feels embarrassed at having mislead my extended family. After years of getting perfect scores on aptitude tests and beyond, of academic excellence and extracurricular awards, I basically dropped the ball. I don't regret it. But, a part of me is definitely ashamed for being a failure.

>tfw when people told me "but anon you're a genius at math and science--your gril status will also give you brownie points with the workforce"
>"grow some balls and fuckin be someone, following your passion is a meme"

Stop thinking I'm insecure ffs...

I'm so fucking sick of keeping the secret and acting like violence is some big evil thing thats never justified. I know what happened, I remember it in detail, I shouldn't be expected to feel guilty that I did something about it when I grew up.

Thats the worst part, too. My wife doesn't look at me like I'm infected because of what I did, but because I don't give a shit that I did it.

Fuck.

Fell for my best friend's fuckbuddy/friend whatever the fuck they are. He fucks around on her, she wants to get over him but goes back to that fuckboy.
Anyways, do I give her this letter explaining why I'm shutting her out of my life, or do I just block her with no explanation? Either way, this shit hurts too much to be around her and I know they won't last

I had pure o ocd for many years and it has ruined my life.

I have a really cute coworker that I THINK I have great chemistry with. I'm just worried since we never really talk about anything outside of work related stuff. Do I make the plunge and pursue an out of work relationship?

I wish I was there now, with you, while while you fall asleep. I want to lay my head on your chest and listen to your heartbeat.

Nah fuck you Kristin. I hope you're happy with your bf. I honestly do. I wish you the fucking best. But my heart is fucking beaten and tired because of you. I'm not saying you should feel sorry for me. I'm not saying you should stay with me because I'm fucking sad. All I'm saying is fuck you.

I'll find someone that treats me like a human being. I can be happy. With or without you.

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>>18694568
This is a love letter. I will probably delete it.

I remember when I first met you. We were all hanging out by the fire,
I had never been up there before.
You introduced yourself to me and I just remember thinking to myself "oh my god, she's cute as hell." A lot of the other guys we're all over Alex but I didn't get the appeal. I was paying attention to you. We got to talking a bit, I was nervous in general and a pretty embarrassed that I was having trouble with your name. It's exotic, but it's not that hard. I don't know, I just had butterflies in my chest when I was talking to you, maybe that made it worse. Even if you're a generally calm and solid guy this type of thing turns you into an idiot.
What really got me was when everyone started bitching about how little firewood there was as the flames went out so you shot up all flustered and stormed down the hill.
15 minutes later you came back up with this massive drybag full of logs. You're this small, fiery woman and this thing was so big, just the whole picture of it, this massive red object with two curvy little legs kicking out from underneath it, teetering its way towards the fire pit, you slamming the thing down and yelling "THERE!"
Like, you just went on this whole little mission while slightly buzzed and it was so funny and charming. I sat there thinking to myself "This chick, dammit... I have a crush, you have a crush. Fuck." And then you just vanished, that's how the industry works I guess, you went to go work another contract and wouldn't be back for another two months and it drove me nuts.

1/3

>>18697960
and kiss your face... all over, so many tiny kisses

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>>18697970
You know I was so looking forward to just disconnecting from everything and anything in my life like that and having a tranquil summer. I wanted to be a monk. I didn't expect to stumble upon someone so incredible. The more I got to know you the more I became infatuated with this beautiful, funny, and deeply introspective person. Thanks for ruining that tranquility, no really, thank you.
I like you because I feel like I really get you, you're so relatable when we talk, you said so yourself. You have this tremendously complicated inner world whirling around inside you and I just find that so unbelievably attractive. You're so introspective. Do you know how rare that is?
It's all the little things, that look on your face as we drive across the desert and you just light up at every new landscape, your evil little laughs when you make fun of me, humming the theme of the Empire for no reason, I just can't handle it.
When I see everyone on an expedition getting worse, things are coming apart, I'm bursting at the seams myself, and then there's you just becoming more solid. I'm completely blown away by that, how strong and gentle you are. I look at someone who has that, and I understand, I think I know where that comes from. I know that something really shitty happened to you, but you survived and you're wielding it like I am. You just do it a lot more modestly. I know that difficult place, I've been seriously drawn towards someone who knows it as well.

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>>18697972
I couldn't believe it when Chloe told me that you actually had a crush on me. I believe that if you really care about someone, your desire to share a wonderful thing with them will overcome that fear of rejection. You scare the shit out of me because you're more than worth it. I know in my heart that most beautiful thing in the world is when two people can pull one another out of the darkness, I've seen it work, and I know the two of us could do that.I'm sorry for being such a coward.

I'm hoping I'll see you next summer, and that I'll be out west for good. Maybe if we can each break through that barrier, be vulnerable, I can share this crazy jumble of words with you. I'm sorry I buffed your advances while we were out at Hopi and you were flirting with me like crazy, there was just so much going on in my own life at the time and I didn't want to destroy that fragile leadership dynamic. Just the right person in the right place at the wrong time. It kills me when you say you feel inadequate, insecure, all that stuff, because you're not and I wish I could help you see that. When you talk about how you see yourself I just want to hold you and tell you you're wrong, because I know how amazing you really are and I want you to have that. I wish you could feel as good about yourself as I do about you. Really though, where have you been all my life?

I miss you so much, I can't wait to see you again. I hope I can be braver next time.

3/3

>>18697971
and your hands

There's a girl in my class that I kinda like but we've only just met. I'm not one to carry a conversation and she seems energetic. I'm worried that she won't like me once she gets to know me because we'll basically have one sided conversations. I do it to everyone and I feel bad but it's not intentional.

Fuck you. This is all your fault. Why the fuck did you listen to people who didn't know a fucking thing about what they were talking about? Why trust them over yourself? Whatever. It doesn't matter now, the damage is done.

You didn't follow up on 'a sprained wrist' and now you've fucked your hand for the rest of your life. Arthritis will set in in a few years and you know what'll happen then? You won't be able to play hockey again. Ever. You won't be able to play guitar again. Ever. And you know full well that you've only got you, and you alone to blame for it.

The fucking worst thing is that you know you'll make the same mistake again because you're a spineless, deferent piece of shit and you can never take ownership of yourself.

Fuck you. Get yourself together you worthless cunt.

>>18697931
Consider going no contact instead of blocking her or writing anything to her. It's her life and her choices to make.

>>18697756
What skills do you have?
I found my job via a temp/staffing agency for my field.

It worked well for me, i had a job within 24hrs and raise and a solid career in 6 months. That wa 3 years ago.

>>18698011
She's blowing up my phone right now, we always talk and hang out. It hurts so much to ignore her like this when she knows I've seen her messages
I won't be with her whether she wants me or not, out of respect for my friend. I guess what I'm asking is do I give her the closure

>>18698022
Closure, ye. Make sure you don't sound insecure, jealous, pety, or vindictive. You can copy/paste here for critiquing if you wish

>>18697434
There is nothing enjoyable about living. It all boils down to the same thing.

>>18698021
I'm good with computers and at least used to physical labor. I'm introverted, but I'm trying to be more social.

I'm working through a temp agency right now, but waking up at 4:30 AM is going to fucking kill me. I would love to have a swing shift job.

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>meet italian NEET online
>she is a qt 3.14
>has same interests and funny
>likes me a lot
>im in a relationship currently
>its falling apart
>person im with is emotionally stunted
>refuses to grow up or help me grow as a person
>is developing drinking problem as well
>we've been speaking for 3 years online
>honest to god would marry her right now if i could
>but she dropped out of highschool and hasnt even begun considering graduating
>italy is shit at the moment so no job history
>i know she is basically going no where
>would bust my ass and care for her with just my income if i could but
>even then she wants to stay in her european shit hole

Fuck. I love you and i know i do, but if i acknowledge or dwell on these feelings, itll just hurt us both. Its best to just keep things how they are i guess...

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>>18698028
How about this...
1/2

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>>18698104
2/2

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>tfw you realize capitalism is to blame for like 80% of the world's problems
It pays to discriminate people, treat them like shit and forego human decency. It just does. Face it, you get maximum profit if you have a loose code of ethics (though it's encouraged to make it appear like the opposite is true. It's all about the optics). And in a world where everyone is out for themselves, how can you expect corporations and businesses not to know and take advantage of that fact? You hate your job and are suffering because capitalism rewards your bosses for giving you the bare fucking minimum, and trust me when I say that if they're planning for success, they will cut corners wherever they can. That's why American corporations don't fuck with worker's unions. It's always about the guy on top, not the guy pushing boxes or at the grill or cleaning the toilets. That's why the prison system is basically modern slavery. That's why we still have racial tension

You are suffering for the sake of a system that benefits people who were born richer than you, and unless you get the opportunity to betray those you call your colleagues in order to elevate yourself, that is where you will stay.

The American dream and the "Pull yourself up by the bootstraps" meme is a fairy tale. In its most realistic sense, when you pull yourself up by the bootstraps, you then use those boots to continually stomp on the face of everyone else at your level to get to the top. Your fortune will always be someone's misfortune. That is the nature of the western world. I don't know how well communism would work, if at all, but this is the truth of the matter.

>>18698140
Man, I remember my sophomore year of college too.

>>18698160
t. blind wageslave

>>18698170
I own 3 cars and I don't have a degree.

If you hate your job, get a better fucking job. If you can't do that, that's not really anyone else's fault.

>the man is keeping me down!
Then leave.
>but I have bills to pay!
So does everyone else.
>but rent is so expensive!
Live in a cheaper city. Get out of fucking NYC/LA/St Louis, etc.
>but I have no skills!
Your fault.
>but I have to buy anime dolls to make myself feel better!
Your fault.
>but minimum wage!
Your fault.
>but I got caught with 4 ounces of weed drunk driving going 90 in a 40!
Your fault.
>but I have $9000 of credit card debt!
How the fuck did that happen? Oh wait.

You will never grow until you stop blaming your environment for your shortcomings. As soon as you're honest enough with yourself to recognize how shitty you are, so many things immediately start to make sense.

>but I'm le sad
That's nice.

Jordon,

I don't think one month was long enough to decide if we could make it. It was so hard, with you still living with family. I know you needed to save, and I know if you'd have moved in with me, it could have saved you money, but I just couldn't jump into things like that. I wanted you to have your own identity, your own space.
I wanted to play out my relationship with Him to intodentotyts own end. I didn't want to just jump from guy to guy.

I love you, but there's something in you that scares me. The way you grab me a bit too tight, the way you breathe through your nose and stare with that predatorial look.....the way you pull me against you even when I don't want, and Sony take no for no until I say stop with anger.

I know you don't mean these things to come across the way they do, and I try to judge you based on you......but all the flags in my brain are red during those things. My past pops up in my head, warning me to run.

I love you. I want you to be happy.

If you have to cut me out of your life to make that happen, I'll find a way to get over the broken heart.

I'll never understand the logic in cutting out someone you love when you end things on mutual terms.
If it was shitty, ok, id get that, but mutual?
Just......I'd always want you in my life in some capacity, even if I hurt seeing you move on.

I love you. I want you to be happy.

C

>>18698182
How old are you, what's your job and what city do you live in?

>>18698191
26. The uptown part of Dallas, Texas. Technical drawing, visualization, and graphic design.

Maybe in the next life.

Maybe what? Maybe I'll be happy? Maybe I'll have a family? Maybe I'll be a pretty lady? Maybe I'll have free will.

Why can't I have those things now? Why can't you do the surgeries? Why can't I have any friends? Why must you keep me a prisoner?

you're going to kill me. My parents knew you were going to kill me. They sold me to you, so that you would kill me for your cause. Not a fake death, but a real death.

You tell me I'm going to be reborn but I won't remember any of this.

I'm not afraid of death. I'm really not. But christ, you really took everything from me.

I'm super tired. I want to go home. If heaven is my home, then take me there already. Stop making me suffer.

I like a guy but he's normie-ish. Seems like a waste for a weirdo like me to be with someone who won't appreciate it. I want to cosplay for a guy, play vidya, all that. I don't think he'll enjoy much of that. But all the nerdy guys I meet are lazy and make 0 effort to look attractive. But who knows, he might be nerdier than he shows. Still, I'm thinking too ahead. For now I'm just glad that spring's close and I can show off my body around him, hehe.

I have bad insomnia and cant get up for school and my family hates me for it.

>inb4 underage

I want to go home.

Someone take me home. I don't have anything left.

>>18698292
Start with half 1 milligram of melatonin.

>>18698307
Ive tried melatonin, and it worked for a while, but stopped. Ive tried a lot of different stuff, but I'm always restless.

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The fact that someone as incredible as you even exists, let alone has feelings for me is insane. It's like a dream. I'm sorry I wasn't brave enough to meet you halfway when I had the chance. I am a coward and you are too good for me. You taught me that I can actually be attractive. I was never able to think of myself in that way because for most of my life I was too busy just trying to survive. Thank you.

I miss you so much. I hope I can be a better man when I see you next year. I'm doing my best to become a better person for you. We're both lonely as hell and you deserve someone better. I'll see you in the desert.

>>18698310
It might be a psychological thing, try therapy

>>18698317
Ill try, thanks for taking time to respond

>>18698318
You're welcome, I hope you get better.

im super fucking frustrated right now

i broke up with my fiancee about a month and a half ago, we were stuck long distance for probably 6 more months due to work and life stuff. i was selling my house, getting a transfer for work and doing what i could to get to her as soon as possible. we werent really happy long distance and it created a gap and it felt like we were just going through the motions.

she said some really shitty stuff to me before we broke up that kind of triggered me to call it quits and ive been fine until her brother texted me to ask how things were with the hurricane (i live in texas)

i got fucking triggered somehow and emailed her and keep waiting for a response, getting more and more frustrated because of shit she said and how she treated me and i feel like i cant find closure anymore. i was doing great before this and for some reason emailing her has just opened a whole new can of worms and i dont know how to get over this, im angry and frustrated and just want to be over it

I just wanted to be normal.

>>18696379
Awe... I love you too

I just want to go home. I don't want anything to do with these people. I don't want anything to do with the girls you're trying to set me up with.

I want my surgeries, I want the truth, I want to be free, and I want to go home.

You can take the rest and shove it up your asses.

You can't buy me with money. You can't control me with threats. You can't win me over with flesh and sin.

I really don't care if she is the greatest girl on Earth. If she is lying to me or done any of the things I've talked about I want nothing to do with them.

Seeing how you people have done some truly horrific things to me I won't trust you if you say you didn't do what I just talked about. Why the fuck would I trust any of you? What have you ever done for me other than literally torture me my entire life?

"You'll never be alone again."
I'll always be alone because of this. You destroyed my ability to trust. I cannot trust anymore. I will always be alone now.

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Soon I'll go back to school. God forbid...I don't know if it's the right choice but the school does pay for my tuition, food, and housing. I do genuinely want to do my major--it's just possible to learn what I must online, and god knows it takes a lot of time doing all the chores of living on campus, getting to class, doing other things...sometimes I wonder if I'm making a horrible mistake by going to university.

>>18698199
Pure capitalism is shit. Regulated and well maintained capitalism is the bee's knees. Keep the private money out of politics, keep robust safety nets to even the playing field, provide good education for all citizens without cost, provide universal health care, and invest in your citizens. Investing in your citizens will equals a more robust economy. Letting private interests or religion or whatever into your governing system is a bad thing. Workers rights and all that stuff is great!

The whole "let them have their fun" when my dad was playing with the cat...

Do you have any idea how fucking disgusting that is? Which cat?

I just want to leave. I want to get the fuck out of here. I want to meet new people that have no fucking connection to any of this. I don't want to be with anyone from this world.

Just let me fucking go already. If you're afraid that I'll get killed out in the real world then so fucking what? This isn't living. I would rather live a single day out in the real world than 10 years here.

Just let me fucking go.

>>18697484
>Not all people are homeless, but all people benefit from homelessness. If you are not homeless, what are you doing to help house them?

Do you see how fucking stupif that sounds? I hate /pol/lacks as much as you alt-left cucks. Fuck you.

Even though my life is not complete shit and I'm having a fairly good time here, I can't help but feel like shit almost all the time.

The only reason to go through this much effort to lie to someone is if you're hiding something truly disgusting. Not once have you shown that anyone has my best interest in mind. No one listens to me,, no one tells me the truth, and they won't even tell me when it will be over.

JUST LET ME FUCKING GO

He didn't mean to hurt me and I know that he loves me so much that I make him happier just being around him. We were a perfect couple. I was head over heels, I would dream about our wedding, I'd imagine having a family with him. I thought about a future for us that I used to be disgusted by, but with him? It felt amazing.

Then he kissed another girl. They dropped me off at my house and when he drove her back to her car, they made out. He groped her. It feels like it's my fault. I feel like such a fucking idiot, because I technically allowed it, but I didn't fucking explain myself right.

It's my fucking fault, Im such a fucking idiot. I hate him so much, why did they think that was a good idea? Why did they do that when I wasn't there? And why the fuck do I have to pretend everything's okay now? Everytime I try to bring it up about how it makes me feel, he spews the same shit.

"Aw babe, fuck, I thought we were over this..."

You KISSED my FRIEND. You TOUCHED HER. And fuck, I loved you! The idea of even touching you or kissing you makes me so angry. I want to love you again, but holy shit, it feels like you don't even care.

I don't want to lose him, but I hate him so much. I hate them. I fucking loved him. I can't sleep without crying because I feel so fake, pretending like nothing's changed. My whole life has fucking changed and it's all their fucking fault.

It's 1AM and I feel like I'm going to explode. I had to get this out somewhere, but I didn't want to vent on social media or to a close friend? I don't want them to know that I'm so fucking stupid.

>>18698369
You're not him...

I would do anything for love but I want fucking pay money for it. I won't be with anyone that is being paid to be with me. I won't be with anyone that sells their body for money or anything else for that matter.

They are free to live life they choose and I won't judge them for it but that is not how I view love. It's the complete opposite of how I view love.

I won't be with someone that lies to me.

Why did you do this to me? Why do you continue to do this to me?

Did I have sex with Cassie? Are those memories or just dreams? How did it happen? Did I have sex with her while sleep walking? Did someone drug me? What the fuck happened?

That night of the party, someone put something in my drink, didn't they? What happened that night?

why the fuck do you people constantly fucking drug me? is this fucking fun for you people? Is this how you fucking get off?

wait

since no one has ever seen my face... my brother has been fucking pretending to be me. He uses my romantic words, my poems, and even my art to lure in women. I was right from all that time before, he was blocking my messages to her and then using the things I was trying to tell her to make himself look good. All those things I talked about how a guilt is just a good heart locked away about how my shattered mind couldn't be reflected and because of that she could be her true self around me. He called her bunny and was stealing every single fucking thing I told her.

Did he try to frame me? Did he use my accounts to send her threatening messages or to tell her off? Did he use her accounts to get shitty at me to make her look bad?

My entire life my brother stole everything that I made and claimed it for his own. From old characters like Zink and Starman... everyone thought he made those up when they were my creations.

He was the one that was hitting her. They were blackmailing her into having sex with them or they would tell me and release nude photos of her. They DID release nude photos of her and tried to frame me for it. When I told my mom that they were raping her she started to cry. She knew it was him... and she did fucking NOTHING. My dad helped him get into my computer, my mom knew they all did.

he was the one that put child pornography on my computer. They told people that I sold nude photos of the girls I talked to online for money. They used my love for my puppy Digger, telling people I sold nude photos to pay for his treatment.

They created multiple online dating apps using my photo. Tinder, okcupid whatever. I...

What the fuck is wrong with you fucking people?

What the fuck did I do to deserve this? Why... why the fuck does my dad give me the most disgusting looks when he was the one doing all of this? How can my mom sit there and give me shit for being depressed when she had helped them try to fucking kill me?

>>18698473
how do you know?

>>18694568
One of my coworkers is pretty hot solid 8/10. I can't tell if she's into me. She likes fitness in general, and will say things like hey when are you gonna work out like me. She teases pretty often, but I feel like it's more of a personality thing as she and other coworkers always have game nights and I've only been invited once. She also will be kind of mother when I'm not doing something healthy like eating can and drinking soda, but I figured it is just her bringing her knowledge of fitness into conversation. Am I right in saying she's not interested?

>>18695405
Have you asked your doctors to check for colitis instead? Could be the issue. I also hear cannabis is good for treating both of those, but I can't say myself.

I wish I was a better writer so I could express these thoughts I've had lately.

Baths are supposed to help me relax but honestly I just feel like cutting myself here.

Question for fast food workers: If a customer asked you to spit in their food or otherwise tamper with its hygiene, would you do it? If not, would them explicitly asking you to do it stop you from doing it later if they pissed you off? Like "Wait a minute, that's his fucking fetish. Nope, not gonna give him what he wants".

I've been alone all my life and it's my own fucking fault.

I'm a human disaster and I throw into the trashbin every chance life gives me. Fact is that I hate myself because and I hope I'll die soon.

I need explanations at some point. I can't take it anymore. No one told me ANYTHING since the beginning. You all lied to me, no one apologized or told me the truth. I've been alone without any info other than this board for so long... Can you imagine ? Fuck this, your turn now.

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I'm fucking done , I just can't stay optimistic

I will start school the next week , I haven't even bothered to buy a backpack , back some weeks ago I was stupidly happy and optimistic , for some reason weeks ago I started to convince myself that I can work in the videogames industry as a director , but as I expected that is utterly unrealistic and childish , right now I found myself depressed as always , without any motivation to go to class and without anyone to have support

Dear God , Im terribly done with this , with everything , I keep saying that everything is going to be nicely but that's not true , I'm going to end living under a bridge without anything or anyone , it's ridiculous

i miss you so much

come back already

I'm pretty sure this that I feel is sexual tension. I feel this certain confidence that he's interested in me. He was observing what I did. Avoiding my eyes. Making excuses to talk to me. Need more time to be sure but things are looking interesting.

>>18698472
How could that possibly be your fault? My ex cheated on me and blamed me too, the nerve of some people.

> "Aw babe, fuck, I thought we were over this..."
Ugh I'm getting flashbacks from my ex. "It's in the past, why can't you move on? ". He's an asshole, consider yourself lucky that be showed you that before you got married or had kids.

And why did your "friend" do something like that?

>>18699018

JUMP!

You are Byzantium and I am Russia. I am in awe of you.

It's nothing major but eh.
Today is my birthday. I have it hidden on social media so only 2 people wished me a happy birthday. Why do I even bother to remember other people's birthdays when they can't remember mine. Bunch of assholes.
Got tired of this bullshit so I drove into the woods and enjoyed a strawberry cheesecake by myself while listening to my favorite songs. I then smoked a few cigs, probably the first in months, all alone in the nature. It felt really good to just sit back and stop thinking and just enjoy the moment.
Tomorrow I'm gonna try breaking my lifting plateau.

I met the most stereotypical Chad in real life and he looks so much like the one from the meme it's insane.
It's also funny how he says the most inapropriate and gross/rude shit and girls laugh hysterically.

>>18699262
Yesterday, at the gym, I saw the virgin himself. He was probably a new guy because I haven't seem him before, but oh man, he looked exactly like the meme. I don't wanna make fun of him or anything but the fact that you found Chad made me laugh.

>>18699272
Well if you are implying I'm that virgin, I don't ever go to the gym.

>>18699202
B-but I want to be Russia.

>>18699257
Do you even hang out with people IRL?

>>18699273
>Well if you are implying I'm that virgin
?
I don't, it just seemed funny that we both found the opposite side of the meme irl.

>>18699257
Hey it's my birthday today too! Technically the 8th but HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANON

>>18699354
>Do you even hang out with people IRL?
Yes, and quite often at that. I've got plenty of friends and a couple of close friends. Out of those close friends only 2 remembered my bday. I can understand the normal/casual friends not remembering it as I don't know everyone's bday, but it would have been nice if the close ones did. Dunno, it's probably silly to get annoyed by something like that.

>>18699359
Thank you, anon, and happy birthday to you too! :)

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I'm confused by you.
So I'm your boyfriend, right? You call me that, you hug me, and cuddle, what not. Yet, you never seem interested in who I am as a person. Am I just some sort object to you? Or is really because you don't know how to handling being in a relationship? If it's the latter, I guess I can work with that, it will be exhausting. I just don't understand, I want to know everything about you. Listen to your stories from you childhood, and other things. Yet, you never seem to have any curiosities about me. And if you do, you never ask.

It's strange, and makes me feel like I am just a toy to you. That all you want is the affection, and not the actual man.

Fuck.

>>18699363
>as of 10 AM of my birthday ONLY HALF OF MY FRIENDS HAD SOMETHING TO SAY ABOUT IT

grow up kid, damn. no wonder you're so passive aggressive you had to go out of your way to hide your own birthdate on FB just to lock some of your 'friends' in a corner about not knowing and directly telling you happy birthday.

Hell nigga, I still forget which day my mom and dad's birthdays land on. and when my dad gets drunk and asks me how old I'm about to be, I don't mind filling him in because it's in our nature to forget dumb shit like that because we don't make a big deal about it 9/10 times.

>>18699367
You're simply the beta rebound after Chad dumped her. She was interested in him.

>>18699374
>calling people kids and telling them to grow up
>can't remember a simple number after years of being reminded
I'm sorry, I didn't know you had autism. :/

two weeks into college and my clinical depression is rearing its ugly head again

constant fatigue, can't focus, and no drive to do anything

i just want to make my parents proud

>>18699355
Oh lol. Yee.

27 y male. Been on antidepressants for 7 years, cut them off and realize I'm a narcissistic asshole to anyone who's not giving me attention(the way I was raised), stoner, can't focus on shit, Life looks like a constant blur nowadays. Want to die

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>>18694568
Currently in hospital being tested for MS, things are looking bad based on preliminary test results.

Left heartbroken by a girl I love more than anything in the world.

Friends ignoring me more and more, don't invite me out anymore or really care about how I feel.

I just feel so lonely, and sad.
I feel like nobody cares about me, I just want someone to care about me the same way I care about them.

Honestly I can't remember the last time I enjoyed anything in my life, and I'm finding it hard to think of a reason to continue living.

I'm pissed we ended up being so similar. Why couldn't you have turned out weird. Or normal. Or not like someone I could probably spend my life with. I can't stop thinking about you.

>>18699465
I'm sorry anon. Maybe now is the time to take care of yourself and not think too hard about others.

>>18699493
But I hate myself, I hate being trapped inside my head. It's so lonely and dark and painful.

If I can't make this new job work I'm going to kill myself, simple as that. Tired of trying and getting nowhere. Society makes it impossible to get anywhere. Can't get a car, no credit and no cosign. Same with apartment rental. Need both to reliably work anywhere, but need a job to afford them. Constant chicken chasing egg. Now that I've finally got a decent job lined up, I can't get the car or the apartment still, only got 2 weeks before I start. Shit, couldn't even get this job without the college degree I got, which didn't get me any jobs for 2 straight years, and now that I've got it my student debt to income ratio is one of the biggest things denying me car loans/rentals. It's a vicious cycle.

Its all so tiring. I'm trying as hard as I can to become a normal productive member of society but society wont let me.

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>>18699374
Why are you so mad my dude? He was just venting, no need to give him shit. You sad man.
>>18699450
What antidepressants do you use?

>>18699501
Watch some movies that make you laugh. Eat some icecream. Don't give a fuck for a week - take a mental vacation. You'll feel better.

>>18699503
I had a hard time with that too. My family never bought me a car and after college, when I got a job, the entry level position did not afford me one.

I ended up getting the apartment first. I quit my job and started freelancing. Taking the bus sucked balls and I knew I couldn't get promoted at the company I was at because they were very judgemental about my lacking a car (who can afford a car at $11/hr?). Anyway, after freelancing I bought myself a nice crossover with a sunroof because I now make 50-100 hour depending on the project details. It took awhile to make that much though.

>>18698182
Okay, I needed to clear my head before formulating a reply.
You're idiotic. I don't want or need three fucking cars. I want to be able to live without fucking someone else over, or being fucked over. Your
>Heh, this is how *I* became successful! You're just bad at everything!
rhetoric just proves that you really are a blind wageslave. You can't even comprehend that respect for yourself in the non-material sense and compassion for others around you should be more of a goal than material ownership and capital. Guess what? Even if you own three cars and find pleasure in sneering at McDonald's workers for not being you, you aren't at the top. When push comes to shove, you will be crushed like all the other working class roaches, and you will have no one to blame but yourself and your own misguided greed. I guess I can't blame you for being programmed this way, but ignorance is still never an excuse.

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Today is going to be weird. And as the time for our online meeting approaches, I grow more nervous. This hurricane business is a mess. I wish things were different, and I could be there with you. I would be frozen with fear, but I would rather that than you dealing with it alone. You worry me a little, as you get to be a bit of a scatterbrained when you're stressed. Take care of yourself, your pups need you, as well as I.
You sounded so sure at first, but I knew it wasn't going to hold. We are utterly human in this. As it gets closer and news of uncertainty comes in, it's only natural to fear the wrath of the storm.
When you told me that the reason you were scared of this is one was because you had an emotional investment this time, that you worried about me being without you. It tugged hard at my chest.
I'm worried for you.

I'm safe here for the most part more than 2000 miles away. Safe, but I would easily give up my safety for be there with you. I am absolutely terrified and there's nothing I can do to help you from here. To feel like this, and know what the person I care about is scared, it makes me feel powerless. Likely you feel that way too.

Even as you are the one that's about to face the maelstrom, you worry about me. Your words have a slight hook to them, as if you want ro say something more but can't. Seems mine do as well.
We will be with out communication for a while, depending on the damage. I hope to get a call from you soon.
Or even text saying that you're okay. Stay safe, I need you.

I keep having intrusive pedofillic thoughts. Like one night I was masturbating I couldn't fun untill I thought about my 10 year old nephew, and just now when the news was on annd talking about some motor speedway opening up to tkae in Irma refugees it showed the public showers and I thought about how hot it would be to see a little kid in there naked.I don't like this. I don't want to be that. Is it because I fap to shota?

>>18699367
>Or is really because you don't know how to handling being in a relationship?
I'm the gf in a similar situation, I don't know how to ask probing questions. I've spent my life around people who tell me all about themselves without me ever having to ask, and now I'm in a relationship with someone who is more or less a closed book and I don't know how to handle it. I'm afraid my bf feels the way you do, and it's tearing me apart.

God why am I such a fucking social autist.

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IMHO and all things considered, the world would be a better place if the UN decided in a joint effort, to nuke the Balkans.

On a side note, I recently started dating this girl. She's an athletic dancer who is really popular and she finds me shy'ish crush on her very adorable. First date went great and ended with a kiss, but I'm afraid my shyness will fuck shit up for me like it usually does and it all might end on the 2nd date and I won't get a real relationship with her/won't get laid. So... right now I'm feeling really lucky, but I'm so afraid of fucking it up I even had to postpone my plans of writing letters to the UN about the potential benefits of nuking the Balkans (at least for now)

>>18699639
Okay that makes me feel better.
To be honest, I have a solid feeling that its the latter. I used to be like her, so much so. It's just hard to see it sometimes. I want to tell her about stuff, but then I feel like I'm just bragging or boring her. I love asking her questions and learning about her, it really makes my day but it does wear you down when they don't ask much.

Look, all you have to do is ask. Start small, "how was your day" goes a long way. As for probing, if you are every curious, about something, even something small, just ask. The question does have to complex, just a simple thing could work, if something makes you curious go for it.
Even what we could consider stupid questions are welcomed.
Sometimes when I'm with my gf I ask things like "favorite ice cream flavor?" "Toppings on a pizza?" "What kind of tea are you drinking?". You don't have to ask so what makes you exist, just small things. You would be amazed how even something small can start a deep conversation.

I'm going to get you back. Slowly, but surely. Prepare for war.

>>18699710
get who back, cucknon?

>>18699710
Haha, bring it on faggot.
She was never yours in the first place.

>>18699716
>>18699719
Thanks for being supportive anon. I'm the she, and getting HIM back.

>>18698574
He doesn't love me

>>18699710
Get him girl

>>18699749
Ah, so you're a cucknonita, not a cucknon.
"getting back" as in payback, revenge for smth he did, or as in cutting the brakes to his new gf's car and getting his dick back in your puss-puss?

>>18699367
I'm sorta in the same situation. With most people I have no problem asking questions but he's been secretive before so now I'm afraid it'll seem like I'm prying. I want to know everything about him but I probably appear similar to the person you're talking to. I don't know how to start.

>>18699767
Lmao

>>18699767
I... I just want to cuddle and talk about politics and make cool projects together alright. Maybe some puss-puss tho...

>>18699374
Ever had friends, fag? If it's important for anon and his friends knew that and ignored it then they are just cunts. Where do you draw the line?
>"haha, lmao you are angry cuz they don't respect your [insert event/thing here]"
I bet you are one of those incels who spend their time alone on Christmas or NYE because they are so special and don't conform to normal traditions.

>>18699801
Drop after drop of water can break stone.
That's how you do it. Just ask small questions. If he doesn't like it, he will tell you. If he ask why you're asking, be honest and tell him you are curious about him, and that you want to know him better. Some people don't like being asked of, but if they like you they will understand and help to sate your curiosity.

I miss you, MJ. You were the sweetest, sexiest, most driven guy around and the best I know I will ever have. I will always regret how things ended. You were truly a great friend, and so much more.

Going to Reno, the shell will be tagged a new name. Hope you are well.

>>18695078
>I'm saving myself for marriage
if you're female that's great
if you're a male you're a loser

>>18699873
Thanks for the encouragement. I just thought of something I can ask him.

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>>18694568
I have this weird obsession of creating Andy Sixx threads and I always search for rekt threads

>>18699911
Good luck, you'll be perfectly fine.

I can't stop thinking about my ex.

We haven't talked in 2 years. I fucking miss him, every single day.

Can anyone explain me why now my OCD has convert to obsession to bald men or becoming bald?

Why the fucking brain is so stupid and works so bad? The most perfect machine? I would say that is the most stupid and easily broken machine of all.

>>18699954
I know that feeling. I broke with my gf 3 years ago and recently I still visited her instagram to see what she is doing. You know what is the problem? That you don't feel confident that you can find another girl anymore or at least easily. So you can't forget the only one you have had.

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>when she had me, she didn't fight for me, didn't tell me she loved me, didn't make time for me
>I leave and she suddenly has everything I was asking for
>mfw I tell her no
I'm too tired for this shit.

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Why do I keep fucking up things, /adv/?
Basically, I've been in this relationship for about 3 months or so now. Things were going good for the first 2 months, even lost my virginity to her, and vice versa. Everything was going smoothly until her parents found out. So now we can't really see each other in person anymore. Plus, I moved farther away, so even if I could see her, I would have to go a very long way by bike, since I don't have a car. Yes, I'm 18. My gf is 16.

Anyways, the past week, I've felt rather lonely and depressed, since I can't be with her, and I've realized that the spark and love that I've felt towards her is nearly dead. Like, I almost don't feel anything at this point, unless we both start going down memory lane. I know that if we were to be able to be together in person, this wouldn't have become an issue.

To complicate matters, I decided to reach out to one of my exes that I've always been good friends with. We've had our fights, our breaks, but she's a good person, and I honestly still have heavy feelings for her, even if I bury them most of the time. She already knows what's up here, and she says I should just break up with my gf if the spark is dead. No point in leading her on just to keep her happy, right?

Anyway, to the real meat and bones of why I'm here: Lately, the old spark that I had for my ex has started unburying itself, and she said that she feels the same way towards me. Thing is, I really want to try to fix my relationship with my current gf, even though due to her parents, our relationship basically is gonna be long distance/over text for a few years. What do I do, guys? Should I stay with my current gf? If so, how am I able to fix my relationship? Or should I just be with my ex, who has no strings attached?

>>18699960
I can find another guy. I am a pretty girl, I get asked out.

But he's my very personal 10/10 and I can't get over the fact that I have lost him.

>>18699967
Ahhh you are a girl, I didn't notice it. Well then I can't help you, that's another world for me. I mean girls that can fuck or have boyfriends when they want because they know they are pretty and almost every men would say yes to them. That is another world for me. I can understand that having random boyfriends isn't too much good like having the one you really love but the power of can fuck random guys is something most men don't know because women are the ones who decide in terms of sex.

>>18699977
I haven't been on a date in 2 years.

The fact that I *could* get another guy is nice, but I never felt attracted to anyone else after.

>>18699987
That's impossible, even when you have boyfriend you feel atracted sometimes to other people.

>>18699990
It never happened. Neither when I was with him back then or now.
I never wanted any other guy. I can see they're good looking, but I never think "I should fuck that" or care enough to go on a date with them.

>>18699992
And who ended the relaitionship? You or him?

>>18699995
Me. I found out he lied about something pretty relevant.
I tried to get over it for a little but I couldn't, so I broke up.

>>18700004
Cheating?

>>18699831
Oh. What kind of projects?

>>18700008
Yes.

He had a girlfriend in his home country when we met. He dumped her 2 months after we met, the first time he travelled back home.

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>conventionally cute girls
>especially the ones that give awkward guys the time of day
>4chan falls for them
>being cute and sociable/open, probably have had several guys approach them
>it's only natural that they've ridden the cock carousel
>the cuteness is not innocence and morality--it's just looks
>the halo effect may have positively influenced them just as it might have degraded their sense of morality

Sometimes I wonder if all the virgin betas understand these things

>>18699965
long distance relationships almost never work, just give it up
get over your current gf and after that you COULD get to your ex

>>18700024
But he left her. Sometimes things are complecated. Sometimes is not easy to end relaitionships. The thing is that he left the other girl to be with you. Wasn't that worth for you?

>>18700042
He lied to my face and cheated on his ex with me.
While I can understand, I couldn't forgive him.

>>18694568
Fuck you.

>>18700063
Please do

>>18700063
Actually, fuck all of you.

>>18700048
I wouldn't do that either, I mean being with one girl and starting a relaitionship with a new one. I wouldn't do it because I don't like someone could do that to me.

In the final years that I was with my ex she was living in another city and when she came to my city she met with me, we fucked and then she told me the problems she had with his new boyfriends xD. At that moment I knew the realitionship was ending and I try to enjoy it the more I could so I didn't care about that. Yes I thought about the other boy and thought what she was doing was bad and maybe me too but she knew what she was doing, if she wanted to fuck with me when she had a new bf, I won't say no. But I found that amazing, how could she being fucking with me and at the same time asking me to advice her with her new relaitionships...

>>18700064
Why? also ASL.

>>18699990
Wait, are people supposed to be normally attracted to others?

>tfw you're a girl and never really found anyone good-looking

>>18700068
That's pretty fucked up. Lol. I'm sorry.

I found out about my ex when we went visiting his parents in his home country. A friend of his made a comment about "Ha, 2 years ago today you broke up with your ex (they broke up two days before christmas)". Sucks that we had met in September and had been dating since the beginning of October.
Felt like throwing up on the spot.

>>18700084
what type of question is that? You don't see boys in the street you feel at least pshysically atracted??

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I'm going to lose everything in life

Once that happens I'll sell everything I have left and save one bullet for myself
I'll be dead in the mountains with a bullet in me and one day my family will get a letter in the mail saying to not look for me, they won't find me

Can't get over the fact that this one evening, where all my closest friends met the new girl i was dating, will never, ever be again.

For once because the girl broke up with me, secondly because all my closest friends are now living spread around the country

It was the perfekt evening, drinking, playing board games, listening to music, to show a girl my friends

This has been depressing as hell, the fact that she broke up with me the way she did makes it even worse

>>18700070
I'm lonely. And sexuality seems to be the only way I can express love. And I'm not even a woman

I'm not sure what makes you behave the way you do. I guess I have to take it at face value. I tried, you know I did. I'll always love you though...

>>18699367
literally what i felt after some months with my gf

needless to say she broke up because somehow she didnt miss me during her vacation as much as she should have, even if halfway through she texted me that everything was alright

>>18700012
Creative ones. But anything really. :/

Wow, this thread is fucking depressing.
I thought /r9k/ is sad, but as much as its sad its also kind of ludicrously funny.
This thread is pit of hell.

4chan really is place where we, the lonely, hurt, misunderstood and downtrodden congregate.

>>18700165
all i wanted was to get away from this shit hole, never even go back to adv
met my ex on 4chan and it seemed promising even though i met her on this cesspool

now i'm back
fucking hell man

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The relationship I've had for > 9 years is slowly dying or already dead.

We were each other's first and have share many good memories together. The constant droning of real life responsibilities associated with the increasingly frequent fights started to kill us. Then came her depression and the blow to our sex life that became rare and vanilla. She has gotten better but her older self is gone.

Unfortunately I really don't feel the spark anymore and get the impression she's holding be back. When we happen to be separated for a couple of days or a week I usually feel better and get more things done. We've both fucked up but have also been there for one another when it counted.

I really thing I'm prolonging the inevitable.

>>18700172

Nah man, you will never leave this place.

>:Don't Forget, You're Here Forever:

But as much as i browse this shitfest of a site i never been really an /adv/ guy, let alone /GIOYC/general one. I started half and hour ago, flip through the thread and i needed to opened a beer because i couldn't handle the anguish some people spew here. Its not like i cannot relate but its a lot to take on in one go.

>>18699465

Hang in there Anon. Even if you have it there are some pretty good treatments to prevent it from advancing now a days.

Please love me

>>18700190
sure its a lot of those anons here have gone throug hthe same shit i have, quite literally some too
then again it's a good thing that people can commnicate here, much better than being alone at home with literally no one remotely to talk to

>>18700197

Oh shit, don't get me wrong! Its a brilliant idea! Vent as fuck, Truth is the way. But its the paradox of the situation that pisses me off. There is so much of us that are so in the gutter its hard to keep up. I would love to take all of these guys and just buy them a beer and talk n' shit you know?

>>18700202
ah, sure yeah i understand that.
half of those people here wouldn't be so down, including me, if people weren't assholes in general and would just be upright with each other, be honest and not lie and egoistic

>>18700194

I love you anon. You might be even a cunt but i still love you. How are you?

>>18700204

This would be hard as its not actually beneficial to be truthful all the time. But that might be drunken armchair philosopher talking. Point is its good to have place to vent, but the amount of people that congregate here and are hurt is just overwhemlingy depressing. In a way you would want to help them all because you (i presume being in this place) been in the gutter can empathise.

man do i feel like shit today

feel so alone, stopped crying for a couple of days and now i'm back at it

christ almighty

>>18700214
true, sad thing is everyone has to fight their inner demos themselves so to speak

Last night I said that I hate my mother. But I don't hate get. I only hate the fact that she was shit at raising me. She coddled me to the point where I am completely helpless now. Everyone has tried to help me but I don't seem to change. I am not fit to live.

So let this be a lesson to parents and future parents: be extremely careful how you raise your children

>>18700205
<3 feeling kinda like this https://www.google.com/amp/www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/drunk-driver-car-thruough-russia-airport-terminal-kazan-international-a7491951.html%3famp

>>18700221

I know its a meme, you might hate it and people will give me shit fpr this but start watching J.B.Peterson lectures and fallow it to iota.
He is like a father i never had.

>>18700215
adding:

after some months i met up with a friend and played some table tennis
felt good for the hour to just let go and have fun

now i'm back to crying

>>18700225

You mean you are stupidly suicidal or just drunk as balls. To the second one i can relate and to the first one to a bit i guess but...
Don't let your anguish hurt others. Ever. You know you are not this kind of an ass hole.

>>18700186
Do it.
I just got out of a 10 year relationship. Your's sounds a lot like mine. We were together for 10, each other's first. We met in HS, and our relationship wasn't able to survive the real world.
The sex was still good, but we onkybdid it once a week, usually once a month.
I was the one with depression, but I tried to at least give her time.
>older self is gone
That right there. People change, but when the two people you become no longer click and talking doesn't help, it's time to walk.

The spark is momentary, it will leave eventually, but once it fades there should be something there that you care about and want in your life.

First thing is first, talk ro your gf. Express all your concerns to her and see what she makes of it. She may be obvious ro how you feel. Be honest and see what you can fix, I anything. Go from there.

>>18700234
Just feeling reckless, desperate and sad. Don't worry I'd never hurt anyone but myself.

>>18700248
reading about this makes me feel better about being broken up with my girl anon
10 years, that's fucking for ever in relationship years

>>18700104
No, not really. They all look kind of plain.

>>18700161
Hmm. I assume you're American xP Chicks like you don't exist here.

I cant tell where this is going. Love, lust, friendship? You're the first person that ive felt like this towards, and the fact that you are a guy just adds on to the slew of emotions and questions about myself you've brought up. I hope to meet you one day, and resolve the big question. But even then why doin care about you so much. Is it 1juat because you are the only person to actually flirt with me before? Why would you even care about a loser like me? Sometimes I feel like I'm not being genuine with you or myself, but then again I have felt things that definitely feel genuine. Why else would you turn me on like you do? This is a layer of hell I'm sure of that

>>18700254
A bit if a story.
It was a slog. I wanted to talk things out and she never had time. We both felt in the way of each other. The final straw was the abortion and how she continued to use it as a way to guilt me.
We broke up and I tried to fix things. She kinda just dragged me around for almost a year. She would reject my help when she was having problems with school debt and such, I offered to help out. She would say that she was fine and could handle it herself. Then she would passive aggressively bring up the debts and other problems. I couldn't take it anymore. A person can only carry the blame of two for so long, and whenever we got close to talking about these issues, she would only blame me. She never took even a semblance of responsibility. So I quit trying and walked.

She then came back asking me to try again. Her treating me like shit got me to realize that after 10 years, if never learned how to treat each other with respect and love, what was going to change now?
So I said no. And started to tell me she still loved me and that her pride and resentment got in her way. She had a lot of time to actual tell me all that and she didn't until I had pretty much destroyed myself.

I'm not happy, far from it, but I'm better.
I'm a bit more scarred, but the lessons I learned are extremely valuable to me.

All I left feeling for her after 10 years is pity. I love her still, but as one loves a garbage truck fire. Outside of that, I simply felt pity for her, but I still wish her well.

I think about her still, but not in a loving way, mostly that I hope she learned from our disaster as I have. If she didn't, well, at least I'm better. That's all that matters now.

posted this in another thread but doubt anyone will reply but My now ex girlfriend broke up with me two days ago. Her reasoning was that she couldn’t feel comfortable around me, she didn’t believe we were meshing together properly and that we were too similar and some other “unknown” feeling that she couldn’t put into words that was eating her up. The relationship wasn’ healthy due to her anxiety and chronic body issues getting in the way of becoming closer and bonding. She couldn’t open up to me and really tell me about her deep problems only stuff about dramas with her friends ect or parents. She couldn’t eat in public or really wanted to eat in front of me, and the only sex we would ever had was after we had been drinking never sober. She even apologised to me at one point because she felt she was only a good girlfriend when she was drunk. She couldn’t take her shirt off during sex either because she thought she had a big stomach and would often make me look away when she was getting changed. She would get weird about how we communicated and I would only ever text her or message her once a day but she just would sort of say she didn’t like texting or anything so it made it incredibly hard to know how often to communicate or how much was too much or too little and would sometimes and more often as time went on go without communicating with anyone for a few days. She said she still has feelings for me but the other feelings are there and she just can’t do it anymore she even kissed me and hugged me as she was breaking up with me and kissed me goodbye. it clearly wasn’t a good relationship but i don’t know how to find closure. She couldn’t even say “I’m breaking up with you” she just said i can’t do it anymore. I miss her so much and after a year of dating it feels like a huge part of my life is missing. I feel like there's hope because she said she still has feelings for me and that she would miss me which makes it harder.

>>18700253

You shouldn't do it either. What happened?

>>18697209
I want a cute girl to cuddle

I know I'm asking for too much but still

>>18700377

Why you think its to much?

>>18697484
black people basically see white people like Americans see Muslims

prejudiced paranoia yeah (unless they actually are trying to kill you), but there is history backing it up.

>>18700380
This is 4chan

what do you think?

>>18700388

This is /adv/, don't meme up shit boy. Tell the truth.

>>18700326

Where we go, well that might be something we talk about next time we talk, because I don't know. What i do know is that I, too, hope to meet you some day.
You call yourself a loser, much like insee myself when you talk to me. You aren't a loser to me. I admire you so, and I only wish I could be close to you, especially this weekend. We are so a like, but for once I am not repulsed by a mirror. I want to make feel that things will be alright, and if you gave me the chance, I would travel that quarter of the world that separates us.

>>18700345
>>18700402
Samefag?
Also you are not him

>>18700341
I've been in love with someone for years... way too long. I can't get over him with constant communication but I'm too afraid to break contact. It's getting to be too painful... I grow more attached everyday. I don't want to live anymore, I'm weak. I'm tired.

>>18700399
If I didn't add the second line all I would get is people posting on how I shouldn't expect shit like that to happen.

>>18700411
Edited by post.
As for bit being your person, dang.
I was hoping it would just come our that way. Good luck anon.

>>18699710
You lost em for a reason, if they take your ass back they're a fool.

>>18700422

>him

So you are either a chick... then i have no clue what to tell you as im totally clueless in this regard.

Or you a ender bender. In this case you are a bloke. My brother had similar problems. I know you are gay and shit but you still a dude. Get some balls. Conquer shit. All dumb advice for guys here still applies.

So what's your deal.
Its not /b/.

>>18699367
open up to her, if she reject it break up with her

>>18700231
continue playing table tennis

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I can't decide if I love your or fucking despise you.
I enjoy our time together and you have been gone two days and I already miss you.
But you hurt me really fucking bad, you are a cruel bitch and did it for attention.

I only realised the other day I got my haircut the same way your faggot friends have,
holy shit I am pathetic, I want to take a razor to my head.
Keep getting random tattoos and piercing, they turn my stomach and make me less attracted to you little bit little.

>>18700440

No.

This ain't fucking /b/.
Also if someone says shit like that just disregard it. Tell the truth and fuck everyone else. Then again if someone is telling you something truthfully and its hars it might be you are missing something.
But come one, wanting to cuddle someone? Really? You are fucking ashamed of THAT?

ded bread

>>18700460
lol I'm female. Some days are just harder than others. I'm a bit of a masochist but this is over my comfort level. It's not worth talking or thinking about. I'm not worth his or your time. One day he'll be gone and I'll have to learn how to be without him. I just wish I didn't know he existed... he has too many qualities that I respect and admire. I hate that I've become such an emotional freak. I'm ashamed. I'm usually in the other seat, so to speak.

>>18700549

>lol I'm female.

WEEEEELLL...

No im kidding. This place is for guys only. (now im not kidding). Most of us are inept in this kind of situation then. To be honest with you? Most of chicks i know have this kind of crap almost every weekend and that ok as you all ball of uncontrollable emotions thats why we fucking obsess about you.

But DON'T fucking tell me bitch that you are "worth talking or thinking about" as im the one deciding this. I would't fucking talk to you if i would watn to help at least a bit (as shitty post from 4chan can).

You seem really fixated on one dude, did you at least consider that other people might be to your liking or even might LIKE you?

Also obligatory titties or gtfo?

>>18700165
I feel that /adv/ was a containment board for the "b'aww" threads on /b/.

>>18700598
Yeah, I told you I'm a masochist, that's why I'm on here. Other guys do like me, I only think of him though. He's the best one.

>>18700630

Then you either a dick, or just plain wrong. You decide.

>>18700632

This is kind of obsession, you indirectly omit my question. Would you like to see yourself with any other peer of yours?

>>18700650
No, just him.

>>18700466
Hmm, she doesn't seem to stop me when I just talk and open up to her. I guess that's just how she is?

>>18700661

That we established. How about someone ELSE that him? Is he some perfect hasbundo or you just lack of imagination to see other people in that role?

>>18700680
It's not for lack of imagination. He's perfect.. for me. Its just a good fit, his peculiarities are what I need and want. It's hard to explain, I'm done with relationships after him. I'd be happier to love him and be alone than to be with anyone else. Sounds dramatic but it's true. I've been in love before but not like this. If you knew him, you'd love him too lol

>>18700715

>If you knew him, you'd love him too ...

nope, everyone has his shadow

You are putting dick on the pedestal as much of this board puts pussy on the pedestal. The point of love is to love someone despite his flaws. Constant argument as it seems. You are not in love, you are obsessed as a teenage chick can be or you just lack a proper attention by other dudes. Sorry to be shit like that but its true.

Fucking piece of shit docked me half an hour for sitting down once.

>>18700730
But how do I take him off the pedestal? Each day when we talk I fall right back into it. I guess maybe I need to stop thinking about him when he's not around. I feed it like a fire. Everything I've read says to cut contact but I'm not there yet.

>>18700762

Thats why i said i don't really can't advice women.

But really, i will do it like to a bloke.
Everyone has a shadow. He is NOT perfect, far from it. Stop idealizing. There is no a fucking thing you need to do externally. No cutting contact, no burning bridges. You just need to see the truth. This guy is just... a guy.

And even if you downright go for a cheap play and say "he is perfect, he is perfect for me" just go out from you narcissistic obsession and think seriously what this dude means for you really. What shit he is fulfilling no one else can.

The last part im actually curious myself. What in the fuck can guy be to have such profound dumbfounded effect on a chick. I will never experience this myself so i can only wonder.

I just saw my girlfriend for the last time until she moves country. The minimum time until we're able to regularly see each other again is two years. It's a pretty serious relationship and we're really attached so it's really hard. Honestly I just keep fucking crying. I made some mistakes by falling out with so many friends, and not having very many before she left. I've used all the words and they're all run out now. I feel fucking lonely and isolated.