GIOYC - Get It Off Your Chest

>>18687678
You'd figure after constantly hearing that she's with a new guy and being away from her for 5 whole months would make me not care. But today is her birthday. And my fucking heart is tearing itself up thinking about what I'd do if I was still with her. How's I'd fucking go above and beyond for her today. And wondering if hes doing the same. Wondering if she's happier with him. Wondering what she thought when I decided to say happy birthday to her. Wondering when I'll find someone that makes me happy.

>>18687689
Why did you break up with her anon?

I feel like I need to say this,

People are allowed to criticize me or talk shit about me or do whatever they want as long as it doesn't infringe on my own freedoms. I'm not going to threaten them or sick my dogs of war on them. I'm not a monster, I'm not a dictator or fascist. I am pretty big on that whole free speech thing. People are free to have their own opinions without worry of persecution.

>>18687709
It's a sad world where this needs to be said, but yeah.

I'm tired of the constant uphill battle of getting a girlfriend. I'm tired of how every girl I ever I am interested in is already in a relationship. I'm tired of being the obvious better choice for her but she just can't see it. I'm getting angry at being alone all the time. I just want to scream.

>>18687711
Well I mean... things are a little bit different when it comes to me. People get hurt when they come after me. People have died.

I haven't had anything to do with that but from what I can tell I am getting blamed for the actions of others. They hold me accountable.

I appreciate the die hard loyalty of my people but we all need to remember I am still just flesh and blood. I can still make mistakes. My word is not infallible.

They love me for bearing my teeth and being passionate but I don't want anyone to get hurt. No one should get hurt because of me.

They are trying to tell me something just now but I don't know what. It's really fucking stupid. Stop playing games and just fucking say it.

>>18687678
I met an absolutely stunning 29 year old Japanese woman (I'm 21) in the smoking area of a nightclub last night, we chatted, then went inside, she bought me a drink, then we danced for like 2 hours and made out a few times. When it was getting close to closing time she said she was going home, I asked if I could come with her and she said no. Then I asked if I could have her number and she said yes, gave me it and said to call her sometime.

How to proceed? How long would you wait if it was you? Can't wait to see her again but am terrified of fucking it up somehow because she's literally a 10 in my book. And no she didn't give me a fake number, I put it into fb and she came up

If you're playing hard to get and not just being busy it's mostly working. But I keep going through the exact same cycle and each time I get closer and closer to moving on. If you'd just been direct you would've had me, but I don't appreciate you trying to manipulate me

are you trying to tell me I'm getting hacked again?

I highly doubt they ever stopped.

And like... why would you let them? Am I bait?

I'm still not sure if this is for better or worse, but not a day goes by that I don't think about you.
And you finally getting citizenship after all this time, but just a few weeks after you left me, is too ironic to bear. I waited so long. I would have kept waiting.
Doubt I'll find anyone like you again.

-Q

>>18687704
I didn't. She broke up with me. She just said she wasnt happy with me and could never be.

>>18687752
if I am getting hacked by someone...

Those people should be scared. They probably think they are smarter than everyone else or they don't believe in God.

Remember who is protecting me.

They are really going at it again.

"Oh A, aim to misbehave."

I'm 100% sure that all my friends, celebrities, and more live in all the houses around me.

That girl that came out from the house with the dogs, what about her? I'm all about her.

Why don't you come on down girl? We could talk, snug, and

Your house I have had signs. Fidget spinners, triangle pills, they match the rocks outside your door.

(I know you put models and other gorgeous women working places in town. Like at Dairy Queen, that girl with her gorgeous green eyes and just at Mcdonalds, her big ol blues. Sigh, so many pretty ladies)

You want me to get out, but what would I do? Where would I go? It's boring out there. I need a friend. :(

>>18687721
>tired of being the obvious better choice for her
heh, why you so sure about that?

>>18687789
Realize though my eye sight is really really really bad and I am also incapable of recognizing faces.

It makes me feel awful when I'm talking to someone that acts like they know me and I'm just sitting there like "Who the fuck are you?"

I like this guy a lot, but his past is a little scary. Was abused, was an alcoholic for a time, was impulsive and reckless. Do I give him a shot?

Help I want to smoke weed but my rabbit is chillin on the bed. Should I step outside and smoke or can I smoke with her in the room?

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>>18687678
>Majored in Earth Sciences BA and minored in Business Management in Uni
>Took Earth Sciences because I couldnt major in Business because transfer would fuck up my credits
>Have no real interest in Earth Sciences career just did it because it seemed interesting especially on a resume and was actually kinda easy
>Finishing Uni in December
>Have no real clue what to do after I finish Uni
>Feeling depressed because what plans I have had fell through or seem out of reach

Thinking of polishing my resume and hitting some university job fairs before I finish in December. But fuck, I cant get over my dread of facing the world feeling like my prospects are shit.

>>18687799
carcinogens are very bad for small animals

>>18687678
Rape isn't that fucking bad. Women need to harden the fuc kup.

>>18687805
You're right anon. Taking something so beautifully pure and full of love, something that requires an incredible amount of trust, taking that from someone, ruining it forever...

Right, it's not that bad.

Well, that's enough. Stop cuddling me in my dreams again and again, really. I could love you till the end (and probably will, deep inside), but in this life \ universe \ dimension \ whatever YOU finished it. I know that you are not so happy with him because he is completely different person and treat you like shit, but you got so far that you can't control yourself. One part of me want it to be true, but another is want you to be happy. Are you happy? If you do, get the fuck out of my head and STOP HAUNTING ME, OK?!
I'm so tired of this shit! Can't you see what you have done to me? Two years gone. stop it, i want to move on.

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>Be me.
>Long distance relationship for almost 3 months.
>Ask my girlfriend how her night has been.
>She says she just returned from her friend's house.
>I ask "How'd it go, do anything fun?"
>Her response: "Yeah, I just gave him my v-card."
>My heart drops, ask if she's serious.
>She confirms, saying "he's my best friend, it just happened, there was no emotion involved so I thought you wouldn't mind, etc."
>I flip out on her, in which she's playing it off by giving me lame ass apologies.
>Her: "It just happened, it hurt but it did."
>Me: I repeat her statement, along with "Are you for real right now?"
>Her: "It did. If it didn't my legs wouldn't be sore."
>I reply with the most aggressive, sarcastic response I can think of.
>A barrage of messages from her wanting me to respond, to which I don't answer.

Pic related: My face when responding sarcastixally.

If you told me the truth, if you gave me the ability to communicate with my people, I would leave tonight all on my own.

Knowing that I could just crash at any random person's home. That anyone in the world would give me a ride. That they would give me food and shelter.

I wouldn't need money. I wouldn't even need a car. I would be able to exist purely off the charity of my followers.

But you aren't telling me anything. You aren't freeing me. You keep telling me to run but we all know that isn't possible when you're living in a prison.

>>18687830
Wow, damn dude. I was just about to make a post about a current, well not LDR but something of the sort and was looking for help on what to do next, and this, well...

>>18687813
>Taking something so beautifully pure and full of love, something that requires an incredible amount of trust, taking that from someone, ruining it forever...

Lol. This autism. You're the one imputing erroneous values into a physical act.

Its like believing in santa clause and then being traumatized if your mom hits a plastic santa driving down the street.

Choosing to believe things that are bullshit only ends up wounding you. That is why you fail at life.

Sex isn't pure and full of love. Its an act of sexual desire for procreation and its converted into sex for pleasure and 'love' by rationalizing hamsters in people's heads.

This needs to start moving forward soon. Please.

>>18687813
>>18687842

see this shit?>>18687830


Exactly what Im talking about.

If you don't feel like you own someone else's vagina or penis, then you can't determine what they do with it and with others. Any 'normal' relationship is bound up in rules of 'don't share your body with others, only with me' which is inherently about control and power games.

These people make up all kinds of excuses as to why a relationship SHOULD be like that. But they're all irrational rationalizations with no logical merit.

>>18687839
I wouldn't recommend taking a post like that as something likely to happen, as infuriating as it is

>>18687839
I'm the poster you've just referenced. As >>18687854 just remarked, not every situation is the same. While still feeling some aggression, I'm of sound mind to offer my truthful "2 cents". Tell me comrade, what's going on with your situation?

I have a lot to say. I have so many questions. I have a billion fucking thoughts. I can't sleep.

Will you please be my Mantis?

Tonight I asked my brother if he would like to change places with me. I could tell that made him upset. Of course he wants to be in my shoes right now. I'm going to be a playboy, girls and boys alike are diggin me. I'm going to have a shit ton of money. I'm going to have a loyal, devote following. For those things I will feel blessed.

But if we switched he wouldn't have done the time. He wouldn't have had the 30 years of psychological torture. He wouldn't have put in the time to be the kind of artist I am.

No one in my family gives me enough credit. They don't realize how hard I work. They just think art comes from nowhere, that it is just a talent. I love painting, I enjoy it more than anything but that doesn't mean it comes easy. That doesn't mean I never had to work. They have no idea how hard I study, how long it took to train my mind to do what I do. They have no idea how many hours I have put into this skill. I paint for 15 hours a day (well, before my world got turned upside down.)

I work long hours, all day and night. I never stop it.

Iris and her mother would say those things to me as well. "Oh my Iris is every bit as talented as you." or Iris would treat my work like it was a vacation. She also made many claims about how she could do what I could.

It's incredibly insulting. If she could have done what I did then she would have been the one paying all the bills.

She might be dead now, I don't know. I'm not trying to hold grudges but I don't think my family, friends, or partners ever respected me or gave me enough credit. They all think I'm lazy. That I don't do anything all day.

If it weren't for this game, I would have been so so so more successful.

I'm so fucking jealous that I'm not as good at music then my friend. I just wanna be able to express myself through music but I don't seem to be able to get better fast enough

>>18687842
You know what, I take it back.

I will use my power to kill morons.

>>18687854
You're dumb. All LDRs end up with someone fucking someone else they either have been around for a while or just met.

If a college age woman goes to europe for a trip during break on her own or with female friends, she WILL be hooking up. You see the real female side come out when they absolutely know they won't be shitting where they eat so to speak. The moment they're in another area, they'll fuck so many guys because in their mind they don't imagine anyone finding out and getting shamed for it.

Do not do LDRs. You might say its because guys can't be trusted, but girls are just as bad, if not worse.

>>18687862
>I'm so fucking jealous that I'm not as good at music then my friend. I just wanna be able to express myself through music but I don't seem to be able to get better fast enough

you could play a drum solo on his head with a pair of lead pipe drumsticks.

>>18687854
Alright, well here's my story
>be KV at 19, never had a relationship, rejected a couple of times
>went on vacation to visit family a couple of months ago
>meet girl, though ironically from Poland and not Croatian
>last week we "live" near each other, hang out
>one night things get physical and I'm still a virgin but at least we kissed a lot and hands on each other's bodies

>flash forward today
>we talk on Skype sometimes but usually text each other every other day
>I want to be with her but I'm in college, maybe shallow, more confident with myself and abilities (everyone says she looks beautiful, IMO she's like an 8/10)
>try to think of ways to see each other besides going on vacation again, trying to align my study abroad semester, etc

Honestly have no idea what to do. It probably won't work out, but I feel like I should talk to her about it, but I'm not experienced and I don't know what to say. I know kinda what she does day by day but never been really anal about it, but I'm pretty sure she hasn't been fucking anybody on the side since we were last together unlike that dude.

>>18687802
you can only polish a turd so much

>>18687871

what t he fuck is KV

>>18687882
Kissless virgin, just a quick way of saying I have 0 experience / success with romantic relationships until her

I'm so God damn in love with one of friends
but shes interested more in another guy and I'm just so fucking AHHHHH I swear to god I fucking feel like a 3rd wheel around them it's so depressing just to be around them cause I get cut out yet put on a fucking rope to be dragged around by them I've just been walking off when I can't seem to get included just to be able to get entirely detached and be myself instead of being in that awkward in between of trailing along trying to be apart of a "group" that's just a fucking pair. I can handle being independent on my own and being in groups of people but don't fucking put me in the shitty in between because you don't wanna be seen as a couple yet, or don't wanna do shit on your own as a pair. Honestly if we're gonna do shit as a group of friends don't split off just to leave me hanging in the background it fucking stupid either do shit as a pair or couple or whatever the shit you wanna be and exclude me completely or we hangout as a actual fucking group of friends. No more bs with your shitty ass fucking crap.

Holy fucking shit I love this board

>>18687871
My honest perspective on your situation:

Long distance or not, this is way too early for you to be considering changing the structure of your life for this girl. It seems that you're extremely infatuated with her due to the fact that she's giving; gave you some attention, physically and otherwise.

Don't invest so much of yourself into her, as much as you may want to. Allow time to pass, for the situation to play out, and see what happens. In the future, if she proves worthy enough for you to actually visit one another, see each other more so, then by all means do so.

It takes quite a bit of time to show whether or not she'll truly be worth the effort to re-arrange your life, or vice versa.

>>18687842
So you give consent to be gang raped by men for the sole purpose of mass groin pleasure.

>>18687898
Thanks dude, hopefully you don't get the bees. That sounds like a good... long term solution, but I need something in the next week, I don't feel right just kinda being in this limbo with her. If we are we are if we're not I can live with it , certainly not the end of the world.

Should I just keep talking to her like I have been and just ask like nothing happened? Should I text and say hey we're kind of far away and I don't think we can be serious but we can stay friends until maybe we meet each other again in person?

I don't know, but it seems like you seem to lean toward the former. Not saying that's bad or anything

yyuuuussssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

It's the most amazing feeling in the world. To know that God is on my side. I can't get over it. The things I have seen are simply divine. Supernatural, mystical, magical.

>>18687859
To be an expressive person by creating art (visual, audio, video, physical, etc.), is only something a few people are able to relate to, being those who also have artistic abilities, appreciation, and passion.

You aren't likely to be able to find support within others who don't share the same admiration and aspirations as you do.

As an artist, you're already your own worst critic, and other's comments; attitudes, however passive or up front they may be, definitely don't make it any better. Still, do your best to shake their doubts off, as worrying over them won't help you in the slightest.

Connect with others who are similar to you in their state of mind, along with interests. Continue to pursue your goals and dreams, trusting; believing in yourself, because at the end of the day, you have to always rely upon yourself, and no one else.

Feeling a new kind of empty tonight. It's not really sad. More frusterated, a bit resigned. It's like there's something on the tip of my tongue but I just can't figure out what it is. It feels like the world's unfair, but also that I only have myself to blame. It feels like a curtain has been lifted and the other side was so disappointing I just feel kind of angry about it. I don't know, this feeling is giving me a headache. I don't want to die and I don't want to sleep. I don't even know what I want, but I want out somehow. I want the world to be more like how I pictured it and less how it really is.

Your one isn't close to our three and four and six and nine. Oh god even that's there too. Hahaha. Better wise up and be a good boy. Always watching.

>>18687912
Your assumption would be correct. Even with my plight tonight, I personally would advise for you to pursue this "relationship" you have with her, albeit not too unrealistically.

Ask yourself, is she worth putting in the time? Do you see a possible future down the road with her? Only you can answer these questions. Trust your gut instinct, and act accordingly.

>>18687796
It won't be pretty and it won't be fun. If you do, be prepared to be hurt.

>>18687678
Can't believe I still think about her.Can't believe I still dream about her.Almost 2 months have passed since then and ,for the most part, I have stopped caring about you.Yet a piece of me still likes your personallity and your beautiful face.

>>18687940
what did she do?

That's what they were fucking doing? She's been working as a stripper in FW. Did she come over here that one night I heard a car pull up with no lights on? Did she do it for drugs then? My mother is compeltely ok with this? They are swingers or something then? Getting a divorce finally?

I really hope it's just dancing. They aren't fucking one another... still...

is it R, B, MM, or ICL?

That one day when my mother said that my brother was going to have a "photo shoot." for "someone", was it with Bree? I got an incredibly bad vibe about that shit. Or was it Maria? Renee?

You have already told me they were hookers. There was that post about "I paid that whore $400 and she was such a whore she accepted half that the next time without haggling at all." Could have been about Vicki as well. I know that people were saying I was pimping her out to pay our fucking rent (which isn't true. If she was whoring to get her money I had no idea.)

This is why I don't want to have sex with any of these girls. I'm not going to fuck someone my brother or father had sex with. You even tried to tell me "Let them have their fun." when it came to playing with the cats.

If they had sex with any of these girls I will hate them forever. That kind of betrayal is absolutely fucking disgusting.

I already know they are prostitutes. I know Renee made porn and camming, I know Vicky fucked people for money (she would come home at night and go straight to the bathroom to wash up. I mean, fucking really?) and I know Maria is far less innocent than I would have liked. I know she was the one that posted the "I'm just a pretty vapid slut" and all the "I'm going to rot your teeth." stuff.

She's living in Amsterdam. Thats a pretty obvious hint. You had her standing in front of a wall that looked like it was bukkaked to death. Maria also uploaded those photos of her younger self in a bikini, legs spread straddling a cement pillar with a comment later saying "Don't you wish that was you?"

>>18687958
How the fuck could someone do that to their own son? To their own brother?

What about the girls? They know who I am, they know that I considered them friends or even more for the future.

If you want me to "complete my mission." You're going to need to be honest with me. You're going to need to have to answer some questions. You're going to have to stop stabbing me in the back time and time again. They know they fucked up, they know they are disgusting people but they kept on doing it.

They saw what this shit has been doing to me and they didn't care at-fucking-all. My entire family is nothing but a bunch of sociopaths. People incapable of empathy, of love. Christ, even my mother is obsessed with trying to get me laid. She thinks my problems are to deal with drugs and lack of sex.

No matter how many times I tell you people this you never fucking listen. All I have ever wanted in my life was honesty. Was trust. All I ever wanted was someone to have my back, to be able to trust someone no matter what. Someone that wouldn't leave me. These people... they know their actions are going to hurt me but they go through with them anyways. They hurt me on purpose.

What have I ever done to them? What did I do to my dad? What did I do to my mother? To my brother? I paid for them to come visit me in multiple states. The first vacation my brother ever took was one I paid for.

My exes all have cheated on me multiple times. Every single one of them.

They gave me fatal diseases. I have syphilis, herpes, and HIV now. God knows what else. I'm pretty sure I have all of them. I didn't know that you fucking people were setting me up with prostitutes.

And you ruined my reputation. People at school HATED ME for what you assholes did to me. People thought that I was a sexist pervert, that got girls to model for me so I could jerk off to them. People thought I was trying to pay girls like Tisdale money to have sex with me. They thought that I was pimping my ex.

>>18687967
Do you people not feel bad about this at all? Do you think it's fucking funny? Do you enjoy what you did to me? Do you get together and laugh at the fucking tragedy that is my life?

Do you think I deserved all of this? Do you think it's poetic to treat someone with such a loving heart worse than trash?

How the fuck do you people sleep at night?

And they can sit there and fucking criticize me. They get fucking angry at me for being so fucked up. They actually get angry at me for being depressed. They try to blame everything but themselves for what is done to me. My mother refuses to see the truth. She...

I need to get the fuck out of here.

I need to go home.

But I don't know if I want any of you to be the ones to take me there. If Bree, Maria, Claire, or Jordie are the ones that are coming for me... they better not have done any of the things I talked about here. I can only hope that it was my past which did me wrong, not my future. If it was Renee, Iris, or Vicky that did all of the whoring and backstabbing with my family I'll be fine. I'm done with those people. They clearly have no respect for me or for themselves.

If Bree has done anything with my brother or father, whether it's dancing, modeling, or sexual acts... tell her to not come. For all I know, when my mother was talking to her on the phone she could have been talking about my dad or brother. The whole "You better give him a lot of blowjobs." thing. Yes, I heard that. For all I know my mom is into my dad fucking other women.

If either maria or bree have done anything with my brother. Modeling, dancing, whatever. Again, don't bother.

I know you people have been doing shit with them. My dad playing with the cat "let them play."

There is also the Anthony shit. and Seth.

what the fuck did you people do to me?

I have a hunch that the child is my dads. I'm not going to raise that kid. I'm not going to raise any of them. I know for a fact they aren't mine.

>>18687985
and no, I'm not going to have sex with any of them. Bree, Sue, Maria, Renee, Iris, Vicky, Emily, Jordie, anyone.

I don't trust you people. You seem to get off to the concept of doing the most horrible shit to someone pure.

I just want to go fucking home.

That night with the car. I knew something was up. before I went to bed my mom kept looking out the window to the road and yard. Multiple times.

Right before I went upstairs I heard a car pulling up to the house next door. Except, they didn't have their lights on and the engine was off. They turned it off and rolled in.

I went upstairs and put my head against the grate. I heard "Oh, he can't hear us." and then I posted about something shitty happening on facebook.

Almost instantly a bunch of cop cars came rushing to just outside the block where they turned their sirens off. Like, they didn't know if I saw someone dangerous or what.

Later that night you guys post about feeding a habit and how you were going to quit but made it worse and that the girl was going to use the pills that he gave her to kill herself.

I know you keep a parameter check on me. I have seen men with flashlights walking around. Checking inside of cars, bushes, whatever. I've heard the same kind of sirens, the ones that stop before they reach our house. I know that you took down the trees to keep better security on me. I know you took down the large tree on leopold and first st for that same reason. Thinking about it now, that is why you removed those two large trees in front of Barb's house a long time ago. So you could keep an eye on us from atop the hill.

Those hills have guys with guns. I had a dream about getting into a sniping fight with one of those guys in the houses. I once saw one of them, the house across the street and to the side. I saw their binocs looking into my window.

I know that's where they live. At least one group of people. When I discovered the shit about Hitler, and about the surgeries, I asked to talk to a doctor. When I went upstairs I heard two men talking "Oh, he's awake up there. Let's go," the other guy replied "No, I don't think we can." while the other guy said "Why not? He already knows."

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>>18688000
A while ago, when I woke up I swear I could hear distance chanting. Like a protest or riot was taking place west of here. It went on for awhile, but I was so tired I fell back asleep.

Later that night I heard the same chanting but it was closer. This time though... there were a LOT of sirens. More and more sirens kept going to someone up north west from my house. I thought maybe someone called the cops because they were having a fight or that there was a fire but I didn't hear and fire engines.

The sirens went on allllllll night that night. And they were close.

There was a riot trying to get to me wasn't there? If I went out, would I find them?

I heard chanting again a day or so again. Very faint, I think they were saying "LET HIM GO NOW. NOW. LET HIM GO." when I say up though, the chanting went away.

I think they are playing loud youtube videos next door. They turn them down when I try to listen in on them by sitting up or turning off my fan.

I know for a FACT I heard the HL2 zombie scream played in reverse. "OH GOD WHY GOD WHY"

Something that Bree talked about on twitter the day before.

If people are rioting... TURN UP THE HEAT.

Show them what you're really made of. Set the world on fire.

This is slavery.

>>18687941
Rejecting me after 3 months of everyday hanging out and alot of flirting.Gave me the lame excuse of " it's not you it's me" and that attraction is an arbitrary feeling

If theres one thing that comforts me is that when the shitty day ends I can always come on /adv/ and just see that I'm not alone.

>>18688011
oh ;-;

It's true, but that doesn't make it suck even slightly less. Hope you can find someone with the right "chemistry" eventually

>>18688027
Thanks bruh really apreciated

The chick I met on Facebook (1/2)

So I used to talk to this chick on Facebook a year and something ago, then we stopped, but about a month ago she messaged me and we started talking again. I suddenly remembered that I really like her. We've been talking ever since and we hung out twice last month before both of us went on vacations (separately). The first two weeks of talking I was so anxious and overthinking and obsessed about her.

One time after the vacation, she took some molly in a club and texted me, telling me she likes me and that "I really want to kiss you right now". Sure, we did flirt a little before, but that was a huge step.

Ever since, though, I gradually started to lose interest in her, the "butterflies" were slowly dying. Then we dated and it took a while for me to make a move and kiss her, because she's pretty shy in real life apparently. But when I did want to make out with her, she interrupted it.

Another time when we were talking on FB, she was drunk and told me that she really wants to make out with me.

Then came the fourth date/hangout/whatever. Yesterday that is. We went to the park, then to a pub and then I suggested her to come to my place since I was home alone (note: my place is a shithole and the neighborhood in which it is located is an even greater shithole). During the date, she was still interrupting making out. I planned to turn her on and have sex (note 2: we did do some dirty talking and share some fetishes through the FB chat), but I could barely even kiss her. Both of us did have a great time and laugh a lot, but she went to sleep at a certain point. And when she left, she wanted to kiss me goodbye, but couldn't do it for some reason, so I had to be the one making the move again.

The chick I met on Facebook (2/2)

I have a lot of mixed feelings right now and can't focus at all (note 3: I also slept less than 2 out of 54 hours and I have 6 more hours of work at the time of posting this). First of all, I am sexually frustrated for various reasons. Second, the backlash from the downfall of me being in love with her is killing me. Third, I don't even know what's in her head. Does she not like me? Is she too self-conscious, even though I was so open and honest to her and showed her that I'm a lowlife depressed piece of shit? Is she not mature enough for me? Am I worrying too much? Should I ignore her for a while and then tell her what I really feel/felt if she asks what's wrong? Or should I just slowly cut it out? I don't even want a relationship given that my last relationship was Hell on Earth, but this chick actually seemed worthy of a chance.

So am I going to become a beautiful lady now?

please... I want to go home.

I want to be a pretty gothic princess.

I've always loved you, you must know that. It's an unhealthy thing. I can only imagine we'd have great sex, seems like we are compatible in that department. We'd never last in a relationship and it would end very badly for me. So I will try to keep it to myself. Part of me wants to tease you, boost your ego in this lonely time. But I know if you even have interest it is from being horny and alone. I'm around and have always wanted you but you will never really love or want me. So I'll keep on keeping on.

I didn't graduate highschool, did I? To be fair though, I didn't care. I spent all my time drawing or zoning the fuck out.

What about college? Did I get enough credits?

>>18688088
why do you think you aren't good enough for them or that they don't really want you? Shouldn't you let them be the one to decide that?

Began talking to a girl on Meet Me after she apparently got ghosted by a gut shed been dating.
We've talked and gotten to know each other but now he came back and she's still into him. Just my luck..

Are you guys going to give me my license back now? Was that little drive a test? I fucking nailed it if so. I'm assuming I'll get it AFTER the surgeries. With my new name and everything. I'm so fucking excited for that.

I'll never shutup. I'll always run my mouth. You cannot control me. You cannot buy me.

My people...

I would give a lot for the opportunity of meeting up with you irl. It would be nice to grab a beer and shitpost about our lives face to face.

The sea turns
and the waves whip the air
The storm is getting worse
and I'm no sailor.

>>18688113
I guess I'm insecure and afraid I'm right. I've been infatuated with him for years, we're both a little dark/crazy. I don't know that he can truly love someone.

>>18688145
>I don't know that he can truly love someone
That sounds like a red flag...

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After two years , I think I'm going to go to school another time. After a lot of time thinking about everything , I discover that maybe I want to work in the game industry seriously , as a writer or a director , now , I think I have something to look forward.
As I expected , my anxiety is reaching some uncomfortable levels as I haven't been around people for a long time , and in other side , some weeks ago I started to write ideas for a game , I even felt happy for some days , like , truly happy.
As I expected that just lasted a week or two , but after that I realized that maybe , and just maybe I need to take antidepressants , if I can't manage to feel as happy as that day , I don't know if I will be able to finish any project.

Anyway , what's your experience with antidepressants , guys ? I'm seriously contemplating taking them as I am going to start school in two weeks

>>18688150
Don't put spaces in front of commas, it's grammatically incorrect.

>>18688150
antidepressants can be a literal lifesaver/make life feel worth living again. It's always worth a shot

>>18688149
It is for sure. I know that I would get hurt and we'd lose our friendship so I'm not going to make a move. He is legit one of my best friends, one that really knows most of the crazy inside. I need to accept that this is just how things are because I don't want to give him up. I don't have anyone to talk me off the ledge about this so I talk to 4chan. (Admittedly not always a great choice lol)

Thanks anon.

>>18688159
Oh well, I'm sorry I guess
>>18688161
The problem it's, what about the secondary effects ? I've read some people saying that they didn't have any, and other people saying that they ruined their life, that's the thing I'm worried about, I'm not really sure If I could take even more pressure

>>18688172
There are dozens of different antidepressants. If the side effects are bad, talk to your doctor and you'll both find a combination that works for you. Once you will find one, you will see how much of a game changer they are.

>>18688176
I understand , thanks for the advice Anon , I'll sure look into it! Have a great day

You should probably let go of it because it's not going to make you any happier. And it's not like you haven't done it all before and how did that work out? You still look dead miserable.

>>18688331
If you're "dead miserable" either way why not go crazy?

>>18688341
Because they could be happier if they stopped giving a fuck.

>>18688407
Is not giving a fuck even a thing? From my personal experience, it's impossible to not give a fuck. Even if I repeat the phrase a thousand times, I still give at least one fuck.

>>18688331
Why miserable?

>>18688464
Yeah you're right, it's difficult to not care but at the time it's not possible to fix everyone's problems or make make everything go according to our own ideas. I suppose cross fingers and hope it works out and take a drubbing with as good grace as possible. Life's such a bitch I wish everyone was happy.

>>18688482
Maybe it's just different spectrums on the autism scale between viewer and viewed

You can't dictate to a whole room of women in the nude and when you've got the newspapers breathing down your neck it's absolutely impossible.

Read this dude,
http://depressiond.com/narcissistic-personality-disorder/
I hope you know I'm here to help...

>>18688145
I'm going through exactly the same thing. I'm trying to figure out how to get over him but stay friends. Seems hopeless

J,

I miss the old you so much. Why did you have to change and forget about everything, including me?

>>18688579
i wasn't like this till i came to america, fuck my life

I'm not sure if I'm sick, but something definitely hurts inside me once in a while

I have the tendency to just space out and lose the motivation to do anything, like letting the current sweep me away, slowly losing the will to swim against it

Maybe I'm just tired, or it really is caused by something else

Either way, I'm deathly afraid of going to the doctor to find out

I come to these threads just to attack people if someone responds to your post it's probably me.

You're a rising light in the dark, prepare, you will attract the moths you desire soon.
I wonder if she sees me as one of the moths now and if she has told you what I wanted.
Back then I didn't know you. Now I caught a glimpse.
I adore you. For what you do, for how you are approaching me times and times again, for the adventures you inspired me to and yeah, still for your beauty. I can't help it.
It has been ages since someone had the endurance to play the game properly. The back and forth, trust and distance, bad wordplays and laughter. Even if it will never get to any 'happy ending' the experience is more than worth it.
I'd still like that but what I want more is to be a friend. Not something you'd regret the next day.
I do not know what you want or see in me, as there is not much to see. I will probably never know before you'll disappear forever. Until then I'm willing to play. I'm willing to dream.

Re: "I hope that you suffer for the rest of your life"

Duly noted. Thank you.

>>18688762
I relate so much! Thank you for putting into words so beautifully what I cannot.

>>18688702
Other anons will ignore you.

Please don't this it's a fucked up thing to do.

>>18688788
no, fuck that and fuck this thread

none of you deserve happiness

>>18688804
No one deserves anything really.

I think we should break up, you seem to need to upset me to believe that I actually love you and it puts me in a downward spiral. Not healthy

>>18687903
>>18687903

>give consent

>to be raped

Are you a retard?

Why am I so happy?
I met the love of my life.
We happened to post on a rare
Punk, rock metal thread. And by sheer luck he was local to me.

I call it rare cause /soc is typically traps and dicks all day.

After a year and a half I live with him.

We have nothing but fun all the time.
No worries over pregnancy cause birth control.

But I recently found out my Mom has fibromyalgia is being stalked by her bay daddy. And I just wish I could help somehow.

And I'm worried but can't stop being on cloud9

Like what fuck.
Am I bad person or ?

>>18688809
>>18688804


That's right.

Its like when men complain nogf nosex or friendzone. They don't deserve any of that even though its intimately connected to mental well being.

I mean, there's droves of shit online where it talks about how important it is for women to not suppress their sexuality, to masturbate, to even get laid, all the good things about sex, over and over and over, yet if a man complains, he's an entitled neckbeard virgin (even if he's not).

And you know who says all this shit? Usually people who have no problem getting laid, either women or attractive men, e.g. those very people who don't have the same problem.

Its kind of like rich people shitting on poor people and saying "well if you'd just work harder", except you can't work harder at changing your genetics.

You can't work harder at the fact that twice as many women as men leave behind children. You can't work harder at the fact that women naturally want "the best" men and will only spread their legs for them.

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This happened a while back

>living in a city, always dreamed having a house far from large settlements and could sell my soul to have that
>finally got a chance to buy that house
>two weeks before signing the papers girl I know from past suddenly contacted to me and wanted to meet
>hot, coolheaded brunette with very cute personality, quirky humor etc
>met her and her friends, started to hang out, she eventually confessed that she's been thinking of me for two years and only now had courage to tell the truth
>night before signing the papers, can't sleep because have to make a choice to stay in the city with her or move away (she didn't understood my dream about the house so she wouldn't come with me)
>came to a conclusion to reject her and move away

I know that her expression of ultimate sadness and disappointment for my negative response will haunt me for a long long time, but I believe it's the sacrifice I have to make to achieve my dream. For now I feel no regret, but will it happen afterwards? It kinda scares me.

I had three girlfriends, and I have cheated on everybody of them. Besides that, I can say with confidence that I have no regrets about that. Relationships eventually went apart, adrift, whatever. Nobody knew. Feels good.

>>18688137
You're only good for siren feed

My gf joined a local chat for our city, and started talking a lot with them. She went to a meet which was really last minute while I was working. I felt slightly
betrayed because at first she said she was going out with her new (girl) friend from work then it changed to 'oh I'm going to a meet for the chat with said friend.'

And she was already on her way without really asking me. Yes she's an adult but as you guys know most chats and sites have shit loads of dudes and creeps >pls b in London types.
She said there was several other girls. I have access to the chat since anyone can join. There are a few other girls, and my gf get a lot more attention than other chatters. She tells them I'm her bf which is fine and all. But I really just don't like the whole idea of it. And lately she seems more enthralled with the chat. She wants to go to another meet soon and I really don't know how to feel about that.

Tldr gf making friends in chat then meeting them makes me uncomfortable

>>18689050
You're a terrible person but not for that reason. Because you say things like bay daddy.

>creeps

Im sure many women have considered you a creep too boy

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>>18688609
Monster

How long must one wait to talk to a girl again after the first date? Dont want to seem needy

>>18689151
Depends on how often you two talked to each other before.

>>18689166
usually we talked for about half a week, then stop for 4-5 days and one starts conversation again
should i keep it that way?

>>18687678
The week before you left i almost mustered up the courage to tell you that i love you

I know that you were on a good way to get over your ex
I know that now being in a relationship was something else for you and i let myself get treated like shit for some weeks, but after that period you apoloigzed, you were actually nice to me, we had a lovely weekend and suddenly you realize that you have no feelings left for me?
Have you forgotten the last year in which we texted on and off while you were back with your ex but wanted me?
Have you forgotten that before that, we dated for nearly half a year?
Is it that easy to delete me from facebook, delete me out of your life?

I've still got some books of you you probably want back at some point, you wanted to text me about that.
Maybe i will text you that i loved you, maybe i'll tell you that right there and then, because i feel like you should now it, only for my sake

Fuck....

I got a bit too horny and masturbated with a pair of my mom's underwear
I will never be absolved of this sin
it will be with me for the rest of me life

>>18688775
I hope so too

>>18687678
I think I am developing some sort of multiple personality disorder. There has been a noticeable divide between the emotional part of me and the logical part of me. Furthermore the emotional part has had less and less influence over my actions and thoughts. Should I seek help because I don't really feel anything anymore. I'm not really unhappy I just don't feel too much anymore.

>>18689361

That's no sin.

I drink to try to stop feeling. 30. Married. 2 kids. House. 2 cars. 68k a year. 60k in savings. 114k in retirement. Things are going south at work and I'm spiraling out of control. Feels like I won't be able to get a new job. Feels like I'm an imposter. Mind is racing constantly. Drink to numb. Doesn't work. Can't kill myself because kids. I can't see a way out. Please someone help me. I don't know how I just need help.

>>18689151
contact her within the week

dare to seem needy, it's better than seeming distant

>>18689417
What's happening at work?

>>18689422
People very high in the company are going to find out I'm bullshitting my way through something very big. It's possible both me and my immediate supervisor will be fired. I fucked up and took on more responsibility than I could handle. Millions of dollars are on the line and I'm cutting corners. I'm trying to find a way out but I can't find one. It feels like this is it, I will lose everything if I lose this job. My kids don't deserve that, they deserve stability.

Why is a relationship the most normal thing for everyone else but me? It's like gathering magic pixie dust in a faraway fairy land on my purple unicorn. Am I genuinely autistical? I feel like a 12yo kid when I get interested in a girl, I literally can't handle the feelings and I just feel like complete shit all the time. Most of the time I'm at peace with being alone for the rest of my life but now (for the 3d time in my life) I met a girl that seemed worth it so I thought I'd give it another shot but it's just excruciating. I don't know what to do or say to make it clear I want a relationship with her. We had a great first and second date but now it just seems stalled and I feel like the initial spark is gone already. Do I just flat out say I like her?

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I've been depressed since I was 7, and have been diagnosed with social phobia when I was 15. I'm currently in university in a somewhat small town and it's killing me.

I /have/ to "fix" my social phobia to be able to function in the field I plan to work on and, while I'm improving a bit, the town I'm at doesn't really give me that many opportunities to work on it (there's basically nothing to do outside of uni).

I planned on transferring to another college in a bigger city, and have been working my ass off for their entrance exams (aside from studying) for the last year. Just learned I won't be able to do the transfer exam because of some legal bullshit.

I honestly don't really know what to do, I have no friends at university and am alone all the time (I have been every since I was 7 and my mom had to take over my grandpa business after he died); my mom's business is basically going bankrupt, so I spend about 2 hours a day calming her down on the phone; I hate the town I'm at and there's virtually no way for me to leave it now.

I just don't know what to fucking do, I've never really enjoyed life, but at least I could be optimistic that things would get better. Now, I'm not sure. I don't know how many more years I can handle of almost bursting into tears whenever I see people hanging out with their friends on the street.

Problem is that I'm also too much of a pussy to kill myself (up until now I've only considered it somewhat seriously once, because I always had the idea that things might get better one da y if I worked hard)... I just wished I had never been born.

>>18689361

Hey, I masturbated with my cousin's still - warm underwear along with her unwashed ones for scent while she was too tired from her period effects.

It ain't so bad, you just have to not think about it too much; and before you ask, no: the panties weren't stained with bloody discharge. Would be too messy even for my taste. Also didn't dump my load onto them because it would be impossible to lie about the stains before washing.

>>18687678
Help me guys. Just Help me. I'm so alone i can't take it anymore.
I Just want my friends to talk to me personnaly, i Just want to kiss her i Just want someone to hug me. I want to live a normal life.
Help me guys please i Just don't know anymore

>>18689492
The more you yearn for a "normal" life, the worse it gets. If you can, you'd better off ignoring those desires and just living however you can. Normalcy will forever be in the eyes of the beholder, what's normal 'here' might not be over 'there'.

>>18687678

I’ve fantasized secretly of a future with my best friend that given if our conditions were favourable in my preference (Being myself but a woman). I’ve imagined myself sharing the same bed with him at night; cuddling under the warm quilt in a cold room as I wrap my arms around him and rest my head onto his chest, satisfied with just listening to the beating of his heart through clothing as I sink deeper into calm and sleep. Waking up in hurry during the dark hours of any morning to collect our laundry hung from our apartment balcony before it all becomes soaked by the rain. Having miniature orgasms as I spaz our while tightly squeeze – hugging him on the bed before snuggling affectionately and falling asleep after a regular day’s work. These are just the imaginatively normal scenes of wholesomeness, there have been more extreme ones where I would dedicate myself to almost every one of his needs and desires no matter how hideous so long as they remain within reason under the excuse as a “loving wife” when in truth, it was out of shameless obsession.

>>18689537

I even went deeper into more extreme imaginations, given the chance; I would go about the house with nothing but a dress shirt and panties on while sexually harassing as often as my duties allow for it but deny him the satisfaction of sex until the end of the day where I would force demands of rough, brutal sex after congratulating him for holding himself back from raping me. I’ve fantasized of him pushing or pinning me down if not beating me with all of his strength as he asserts dominance onto my small, frail body out of frustration before savagely ravaging my insides like an animal for hours without giving me rest before choking my consciousness out in ecstasy; leaving marks on both my wrists and neck which I wouldn’t mind shown openly to the world as the signs of the sexual taboos of greedy lust and ecstasy.

>>18688137
And the soundtrack for this solemn voyage would be Echo and the Bunnymen's Ocean Rain, you're no sailor but you will float on.

>>18689361
just like my h-manga

I hate all possible fields anyone could ever go into and I have no artistic talent

what do

Hi G,
Sorry for the abrupt cutting of connection. I know i am nothing to you, insignificant. But i cant stop liking you. This 2 week have been the most hectic time of my life. I learnt a lot about you and get to know the people around you. It just makes me feel like i don't deserve you. I lost at everything compared to them. My mind cannot seem to work properly whenever i see your name. My feelings go haywire and swings randomly whatever you do. I get jealous when the guy you are spending time with isn't me.

It must have been a pain when i asked you if you wanted to play. It must have been creepy that i know stuff about you when i was not even told. You are just too kind.

The guys around you are too good compared to me. I am a loser.
Losers like me don't deserve to be with you. So i decided to improve myself before i contact you again.

Maybe when i am good, i might be able to finally make you like me or at least notice me.

-L

>>18689596
e-sports

>>18689540
don't browse /lgbt/ friend or you may awaken something you wish you hadn't

>>18687727
Wait like 2 or 3 days as a rule of thumb imo, but just ask her out and see where it goes from there. No pressure anon, just b urself (but unironically)

Are you too busy for even a text once in a while? I understand you have stuff going on but a short explaination would suffice.

>>18689604
How do you know that you are insignificant to them? Maybe you're not

>>18689636
Wouldn't need to worry because such things are morally impossible for myself unless there was a way to become closer to what would be almost being born a woman rather than having to go under the knives and plastics, anything other than that would just be a forbidden relationship between us.

I absolutely hate doing homework on the computer. I can never concentrate even when I'm not tabbing out for random shit.

Tired of being so invisible at work. Everywhere really.

I know I'm shy, but I still give the courtesy of a "good morning" and "how is [sick relative] doing?"

Being included in the "how was your weekend" small talk would be nice every once in a while. It hurts coming from people you're supposed to spend 40 hours a week with.

I'll probably never make a friend no matter where I go.

>>18689660
Then you DEFINITELY shouldn't go to /lgbt/ and find out about anti-androgens and estrogen :3

>>18689660
I secretly find his beta - type behaviour cute though, if able and under preferences mentioned; I would almost immediately suggest a lifelong relationship of intimacy if not harass or scheme and trap him if he became overly resistant with doubts that would endanger my chances on him. It's up to the point where I would shamelessly lie that it's for his own good if not mine because I've the feeling that we're doomed to live the rest of our lives alone, even in death without being given the satisfaction of sharing our existence with someone we genuinely care for beyond material value.

>>18689694
I meant reaching close to an almost natural - born woman, that estrogen - androgen stuff's no different than surgery imo.

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I'm a 5'5" manlet and it's seriously crippling my self-esteem. It only became aware of it after discovering 4chan.

It's making me rethink my life goal of becoming a Doctor (because who would respect a manlet Doctor like me?). I am relatively good looking too, and so it just adds to the pain.

I've been genuinely suicidal over it in the past. I'm as tall as most women I come across, and the only men that are typically my height are drug addicts and alcoholics.

Why did I have to be born like this? For fuck's sake!

>>18689704
>altering your hormones from male to female, growing breasts, redistributing fat from male to female patterns, and altering your mind is the same as plastic surgery.
I guess you just want magic instead?

I hate my life because I'm 5'3 and I hate every other person in my life because they all make fun of me for it. Everybody is the same. I refuse to speak to another person outside of hello and goodbye. The moment I let them into my life they reaffirm that they're a shit person who wants to hurt me. Everybody wants to hurt me, and its solely because I'm short. It just doesn't make any sense. I hope to god one day your children come down with a life threatening disease and you break the rope that you tried hanging yourself with midway leaving you paralyzed from the neck down

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Went to a Smash tournament last Wednesday and met a solid 10. Christ, we debated about Zelda games, then she kicked my ass at Mario Kart, it was like a dream. She's Finnish, and has been in the country for a few days, she's here for her studies. As we left to buy our own booze, she told me it's very flat in Finland, so I took her to the highest place in this end of Scotland. Nailed it. She was blown away. We stood at the top of the city and got drunk. She kissed me, then helped me back to my flat. One thing led to another at 5am, and it was the best night of my life. She said I'm cute, and that she totally digs me and my outlook on life.

Problem is, she just got here, so she hasn't got her phone set up yet as far as I can tell, but she can use WiFi, so I got her on Snapchat, and she got my number. She hasn't used it yet. We snapped each other once the day after, and I realized I'd started to get feelings. So my wingman buddy suggested I invite her to a party at mine - I do that, and although she kindly declines, she actually messages me and makes it clear we'll meet up for Smash sometime. I honestly just wanted her to acknowledge me.

So we banter like once or twice a day. Yesterday it was twice, and she called me cute, so it was a good day. Today we spoke this morning, and then she stopped responding, again. Snapped her again and she left me on "read". This is torture because there's no way of knowing if she's interested or not.

I don't know how or when to ask her to hang out without looking too clingy. Everyone's giving me different advice. Everyone's telling me not to fuck it up. But there's a video game convention this weekend, and I wanna take her to it. I have no idea when or how to ask her to that, either. Every time I want to message her, I have to go for a walk and seriously think about it before I do, and it's driving me crazy. She's so damn cool.

I just want her to message ME. Just once.

I hope this suffices for details. Pic related.

What do?

Im asian transgirl and i hate it with every bone in my body.

I wish i was born white. White girls are way prettier on average than Asian girls its not fair.

Their not stuck with yellow skin, small eyes, dark hair, dark eyes, weird headshapes that makes their heads look oversized.

Plus their not stuck with awkward asian parents who eat fucking weird food and cant teach them social skills.

>>18689795
You're not even a girl

You guys are welcome btw

For the world peace and prevention of nuclear war.

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End me.
I want to move out of my house so badly, I got all the money and skills to do so.
But this shit is holding me back

>Father is too much of a baby boomer and doesn't let since god knows why
>Am old enough to live on my own
>Know how to pay bills
>Not a beta to defend myself, willing to do
>Not afraid of anyone but god and myself
>Brother is really mentally challenged and somehow of a Satanist
>Sister is fat and weak and mostly doesn't know anything about me so she says one thing knowing that shes right but in reality doesn't know the main picture
>Mother who is a depressive alcoholic and doesn't know how to deal with it

What do I even do?

>>18689838
Leave, but keep in touch with them as regularly as possible to make sure they're doing ok (or at least not getting worse)

Getting a looottttt of mixed messages here.

You tell me "look, don't touch." but then guide me to a picture of a girl and say "you destroy everything you touch, please destroy me in this way."

You want me to do things that are wrong. I don't know if I should do it. Not because I want to but because I want to help people. If I have to do something I don't really want to do because it's the right thing, I'll do it.

I really don't want to get in trouble. I've suffered enough.

I could see why though... why you would want me to take interest in younger girls (like, 16+). People already think I'm a "bad boy" or they like the whole lolita thing. Mostly because all my fans are young girls going through puberty and the whole daddy thing is... yeah.

If I keep up the myth, "He turns out girls of barely 18" that means I'll become extremely influential to the younger generations, the future. In the process, I lose everyone else.

I don't really want to fuck underage girls, but to be fair 16 is not underage in my state. I honestly do not have that interest.

it's weird though, I've always had a similar taste as a highschool girl. Music, fashion, and shit like that. I'm not the only grown ass man that has these tastes. Cougghtimburtoncough

I could keep up the myth without actually fucking anyone. I wouldn't feel right. The power difference is masssivveeee. I never want to hurt or take advantage of anyone.

Those girls are sexually active at that age though. There is a reason boy bands exist. They are going to throw themselves at me and you're just going to have to trust me to behave.

But then you tell me to misbehave,

This world isn't one I exist in. A world of manipulation and plans. Do I look like the kind of guy that has a plan?

These girls so badly want me to be their Joker. "J" They want me to treat them like objects, to be abusive, and to use them. That's not who I am though.

>>18689945
But I want to help the world. People already think that's the kind of person I am and it's the myth, the legend that they want.

You know what we should do? You need to get me girls that look far younger than they are. Make people question it without actually doing anything wrong. Someone like Lauren, Poppy, or Ellie.

The myth and legend part only works if they can think "oh my god he would fuck me too"

Still, not the kind of person I am. if I put my mind to it I could easily be a master evil villain though.

Hide your kids, Hide your wives.

on the day of execution only the women will kneel and smile.

>>18689729
>>18689704
>>18689694
>>18689660
>>18689636
>>18689540
>>18689537

mentally ill body dysmporphic alert.

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>>18689972
>dysmporphic

Whenever they show up to get me, please don't be hurt if I don't come off as excited.

I'm a bit numb.

I'm so very tired.

I want to go home, wherever that is.

>>18690022
>>18689956
Fuck off with your spam you annoying schizo tranny scum fuck.

>>18687796
Why not? The guy sounds like an absolute dream! Imagine how hard he hits when drunk! MMM!

chilhood

What's the one memory you would want to keep after you die?

>>18690036
I am building an empire with my heart and not my mind.

Oh Danny boy, you're so very sad and lonely.

>>18690052
You're shitting up the thread, fuck off already retard.

Fuck you E.
I hope you get what you deserve you lying bitch.
Have fun with the fucker with whom you have cheated on me.
4 years down the drain,thanks for wasting my fucking time.

D.

How do I go the rest of my life, hurt by someone?

Some days I feel like I can sing and other days I feel like I suck worse than everything.

That one day I had my window open and I gave it my all, singing Atlanta by STP. When I finished, I heard people clapping and woo'ing outside.

olololololol

Today is one of those days I feel like I suck.

>>18690058
I have never seen a more jealous person in my life.

Are you that butthurt that I got away with it all?

You should probably block me. I think I'm always saying the wrong thing. I only want you... just you.

>>18690058
You know what I think? I think that you cheated on your gf with one of my ex girlfriends.

I think you all did.

So they left you and they all got together to have an awesome grouplove sexy time with me.

That's why you faggots hate me so much. Because when I lost my mind this time last year you all got your cheating shit revealed.

You could no longer keep it a secret because you got HIV, syphilis, and more.

ha.

The ladies all got cheated, they all know I got blamed for all your shitty behavior while I was completely innocent.

Look at what you made me do.

>>18690096
and since then, you faggots banded together to try to take me down. You have been digging for dirt, going through my emails, calling the police, trying to find horrible things I did so that I wouldn't get to have any fun.

You dumb fucks. Don't you know I'm untouchable? That I don't make mistakes. That I have nothing to hide. God herself is on my side.

This world is so disgusting though. You all did horrible things to those you love and when you got caught, rather than own up to your acts you got angry that you got caught. You got angry at me.

The dumbest fucking part is you think karma is on your side. You think I deserve to suffer because I shed light on those that hide in the dark.

All I wanted was to love and be loved in return. I would never hurt anyone. I would never use anyone or take advantage of anyone.

>>18689838
You've got to take care of yourself first my friend, then family. Your dad is responsible for his family, you are not.

>>18687678
I hate one of my best friends, he's such a egoist douche bag.

A female friend of mine is recently single and I want to make a move, but I don't know what to do/how to do it.

There was a couple year span where we never really spoke, but we've hung out recently, not one on one but for friendly get togethers with other people, so talking to her isn't terribly awkward or anything but I don't think it's overtly obvious that I'm interested in her.

She's kinda laid back, but if I were to ask her out on a date and had no real plans in mind, would it look bad? I know I'd look incredibly desperate just saying "I'll go anywhere" or "I can pay for wherever you want to go" but it's not like I have a favorite date spot to recommend, and I don't know if it'd be stupid sounding to just ask her opinions on places she'd like to go if I'm trying to initiate the date.

>>18687678
Shit, even though my social life is thriving, i'm partying, volunteering etc. I don't have a gf despite having lots of woman friends. I don't have a big pressure, but it would be nice to be loved by someone. I sometimes feel just like I'm missing social clues dropped by girls at me.

I'm never going to shut the fuck up.

They love it. They love how when they think I'm down and out with nothing left to say I can be triggered into a rant that last hours. I have a silver tongue, everything I say is absolutely enthralling.

I'm a Killer Queen
Gunpowder, gelatine
Dynamite with a laser beam
Guaranteed to blow your mind
Anytime

>>18690175
these aren't just rants. People take them as if they were essays, philosophical writings.

How many times have I heard "You are the most interesting person I have ever met." or "You make me see things I never thought of before."

I am the most interesting man and woman in the world.

My head isn't getting any bigger. I just want to be happy. I've been alone my entire life and hearing things such as "Why did you have to be so god damn nice. Oh worthy one, you inspire. Worthy one, you are admired." makes me feel good.

Please don't hate me for feeling good. Call me egotistical, selfish, or narcissistic but try and put yourself into my position. How would you feel going your entire life alone, having everyone disagree with you over everything, and then having the entire world see your opinion as Au.

Your little space fart,
Eve

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>>18687940
>>18688011
Fucking hell mate are you me? I got burned fucking hard, I read all the signals correct but she was fucking with me.

It was probably one of the cruelest things that ever happened to me yet I still find myself daydreaming about her and missing her.

>>18690190
Mods ban this spamming fuck already.

>>18690193
Aren't you the one spamming? Your posts add nothing of value what-so-ever. My ramblings are at least entertaining.

Also I don't understand. You know for a fact I am the son of God. Think about it.

>>18688011
>>18690191
this is me to a T. I'm so lonely

>>18690204
That's the worst fucking part about it, I had closed myself off for so long that when I took the chance, even for a second to like a person it opened pandora's box.

I never realised how fucking alone I feel, I just want a companion.

>>18690193

if you don't report it, how do you expect the mods to find it?

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>>18687772
>She broke up with me. She just said she wasnt happy with me and could never be.

That's exactly what my girlfriend said. "I look ahead to the future, and I don't see us being happy together." We'd been happy together for many years. What's different now, bitch? Am I suddenly going to turn into a zombie tomorrow?

Why do they say this?

I just spent the last 7 hours masturbating. I had 4 whole days to study, but I ended up fapping. 4 hours total of studying in the last 4 days. Now I'm sitting on 4chan doing nothing. Jesus, do I even care.

I got to send a fucking message, and I've been here thinking about it for an hour. How much of a dumbfuck can I be?

It has to be Grimes. It has to be.

The girl in the red dress. The blowjobs thing. When I googled her she had like.. alllllll of those mics in a very... provocative manner.

Those posts about liking pink, glitter, castles, and being a princess.

The things about me.The songs. So damn cuuttteeeeeee.

"Skinny Love."

Those pictures I have on my computer, with the thong showing is definitely her.

Those other pictures of the really skinny girl is bree.

The picture of boobies posted, the dots... that was Maria? or Bree.

The girl that keeps posting pictures on here is Marina.

That person that posted "my tranny GF" was clearly Renee. That was her bed, those were her stuffed animals. I remember seeing that tape on her wall in old photos as well.

Renee had been to Chicago before. That was a picture of her but they had photoshopped it to make her look different. Stretching her out with the transform tool. She had been in that fucking tower before... and she took me there like it was her first time.

I do remember her telling me that she had been in chicago recently. I don't know who with though. My brother went there around that same time.

I'm not raising another persons kid, I'm sorry. I'm just not going to. It would be a horrible idea to give me a child. For one, I'm a massive mess. Two, I am going to be on the run. Three, I'm not going to live past 40, and even a few years before that I won't be able to take care of myself. Giving me a child would be the dumbest fucking shit ever.

Were those pictures of her sucking dick? Was that her? Was she with Elliot Roger? Is that the reason he went crazy and killed a bunch of people because he found out that she was a whore? Like, literal whore. The kind that deals with money and sex. Is that why he hated chinese and mexicans?

She told me that her ex went crazy and killed a bunch of people. I vaguely remember that because at the time I hadn't slept for about a week. I was extremely stressed out.

>>18690250
went through a bad break up a few days ago, same story, but i thought back on all the things that made her angry about me or made me angry about her, and I thought, why did either of us have to tolerate it, we weren't always happy, so why keep it going?

Sometimes I lay my head on him or hug him and pretend it's you. It feels so good.

>>18690286
stop with the rebounds. Spend sometime alone and build your character.

>>18690301
It's not a rebound, he's my friend.

>>18690309
it still stands. do some self improvement and move forward. Time will do the rest.

>>18690312
K

>>18690283
I knew something was up with all these people. "SadieK", "Sadie Kaydence.", "EllisJuice"

When I asked Liliana what those names meant she just blocked me. You people treated me like absolute fucking garbage in a time I needed the most help and you act all surprised that I brokedown. You manufactured my breakdown and I still get shit for it. Are you all ordered to be the most disgusting people ever to me?

I tried searching for Renees past but you removed all of it. I even knew something was up with Maria. Multiple times I would try to figure out what the fuck happened with her. The stories online saying that she hooked up with people from 4chan, all the super sexual photos she had of herself. Like, upskirt panties and more. She was underage when she uploaded those and she could never shake off her chan stalkers.

I tried to see if she did porn or camwhoring because again, it just felt really weird. Every girl I talked to seemed to have this exact same fucking past.

Those pictures of a girl surrounded by red/pink on her knees were Hayley right? They looked a whole lot like her. Then again, I suck at telling faces apart.

LASTLY... Maria has a lot of cosplay of Bridget. Is she trap? I'm beginning to think that every girl that has ever been in my life is a trap. Except, they were all raised as girls. A bunch of boys raised as girls.

While I was a girl raised as a boy.

I am snow white and they are my seven sisters.

can we please get this show on the road?

This is going to be my reality. I want it nows
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=laFvF3KYdgo

I keep thinking about my ex. Broke up two weeks ago.

One second your on my mind, the next I think how stupid I was. Why can't I stop thinking about you. You're probabaly living it up as I sit here jobless. Fuck you. I helped you get a car, craft your resume and you dump me the next day. Fucking bitch. Have fun finding yourself, I hope you end up going to Ireland and the IRA bomb your bus as your necking with some lesbian. Fuck you M.

Im trying to get myself back up by watching the same kind of motivational videos i watched when i considered myself to be at my best but i can't, everything is bullshit now

Someone did the complete opposite beat me at what i wanted the most, people just love lo lick each others wounds, to be negative and make others feel weaker, to talk shit and make fun about anyone who is putting a lot of effort to be better

I can get to whatever place i want when it comes to work and studies but i'll just never be loved, i was totally fine accepting that the first girl picked that other guy who later cheatw on her instead of me but then i re encountered an old friend, we started going out and everything was fine until the day i decided to tell her my feelings, she never talked to me again, i miss her, why am i never allowed to feel

My last bit of optimism tells me "hey there are a bunch of nice girls in this new college" but what is the point? No matter how good look or how well im doing if i try to be closer than friends bad things happen

>>18690315
no wonder he left you.

Lets not kid ourselves, you miss me and it's why we have been trying to meetup recently.

It's been a month since we last talked and I really don't know what to say or how to go about it. I miss you and we could probably work it out but don't know if it would be worth it or be the same. It won't be the same and it will take a lot of repairing.

Just wanna talk at least, please. I'm not blowing you off, I just work shit hours

>>18690332
He didn't... what are you talking about?

>>18690352
I said "k" because you're right... I'm in love with my friend but I need to forget about it and work on myself.

So, take it easy on me at first.

I'm going to have some hardcore trust issues. and... would it kill you all to be loyal to me and only me in the beginning?

I know they are just going to leave me. They are going to hate me and just deal with me and then they will make fun of me behind my back. I don't think I want any of this. I just want to be alone. I want to go home. I want the truth.

>>18687678
First day of classes tomorrow for me anons. Wish me luck.

is it nomal/acceptable/ok for me, a person who doesn't drink or smoke to want to date someone who also doesn't do so? i don't care if others or friends do so, and i've been around it all the time, but am I being some kind of pompous ass to want that in a partner because I don't do it either?

>>18687678
I only stay and put up with my girlfriend's shit because the dating game is harder.

>>18690497
You mean because you don't have a job?

>>18690497

maybe you just love her, don't be negative

I know I have an issue with touching others and showing affection. My body freezes when I try to show any kind of affection, anything from grabbing a friend's hand to leaning or cuddling to kissing. Could be innocent or not so much, either way it's hard to get around this mental block I have around affection and touching others. I want it so fucking badly. To be close to someone like that.

I'm sorry to my friend who looked hurt when I pulled away from your hand while you just wanted to show me a new shop.

And to the guy who liked me earlier this summer. For not being affectionate or cuddly at all, and only having the courage to kiss you after we slept together. Figures why you wouldn't want to see me again.

Maybe it's my parent's fault for not being touchy and hugging me as a kid, or more likely it's my own fault. I want to get better at giving and accepting affection from friends and love interests. Everyone else my age is completely okay with this and find it fulfilling. How to relearn these skills, I have no idea where to start.

>>18690516
Nah, I'm good on that front.

>>18690523
Sure, sometimes when she's not being abusive or insane.

Haha, what did you mean by this.

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I wish I was beautiful and sexy like he is. He says I have no game.

You know, it's probably better this way. I don't need to know everything that happens to you all the time. Thank you, now I can care less and move on.

>>18690690
Who?

>>18687725
Shut the fuck up Donald.

Had a rough split with my ex a year ago, mostly my fault. It took ages but I haven't thought her in an emotional way in months, thought I was finally over her.

Then she messaged me out of the blue for the first time in nearly a year asking how I was doing and she did this soon after splitting with the guy she replaced me with.

She was my best friend for years before we became romantic, and I can feel the emotions start to slowly come back. I don't know whether to message her back or not. I don't even know what she could possibly want. She said she wanted me out of her life last time we spoke but now here she is...

Bleed out

I'm depressed and have a cute and kind bf and I'm scared that I'm going to ruin his life and I'm scared that I'm never going to get better and just drain him of all his kindness. Before he met me he has a masturbation problem and did it 14 times a week, and I caught him doing it in the shower and it made me feel super insecure about myself and he feels really bad about it now and is trying to stop because of me but I just feel like I'm not good enough and I'm scared he's gonna cheat on me and it's so bullshit. I just hate my own fucking brain for telling me all of this dumb shit. I just want to be normal and I just want to make him happy (he tells me I make him happy and I do believe him because we have some pretty good times). I just want to know that I'll get better. Better enough so that one day he can be confident in coming to me for help for once.

>>18690890
Therapist.

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First semester of college, Fucking it up, relying on financial aid and if they take it away im 100% fucked.
Im probably going to fail so im fucked either way. fucking hilarious when these people tell you "if you need help go to x or y " and then they tell oh you need help with this? you should have known this. fucking amazing thanks for the help!
>tfw you have no idea what you are gonna do with your life
ajfd3po43nbgvfodvpo[ep[l

>>18690939
They'll just put you on warning. Take half as many classes next semester and take time in the library.

Well I guess this is how couples drift apart. Lucky with enough foresight I can decide now you really are unfit marriage material.

I need to ask a question but I'm a piece of shit and I don't want to make my own thread so I'm just going to ask in here.
For backstory, I've never been in a relationship before. I've had a thing for a couple women, but they didn't feel the same way. I know in the past my problem was that I would grow too attached and I'd get hurt when I knew they didn't feel the same way.
Well, even though I didn't want to feel this way, it happened again.
I fell in love with my best friend, and I know for a fact that she doesn't feel the same way because
A: She has a boyfriend
and
B: She's told me that she believes guys can be just friends with girls and she's already had problems with one of her friends liking her
My trouble has been trying to put aside my feelings for her and to just be a good friend but I can't seem to shake it off.
I feel like the only solution to this problem is to distance myself from her until I lose these feelings that I have, but I feel like there has to be a different way I can go about this, right?
I don't want to lose her as a friend though because she's helped me with a lot of my problems and I've talked to her about a few of her problems, too.

>>18690913
I'm currently in therapy. It's been helping sort of. Do you think I'll make it anon?

I slept with a man 20 years my senior and I'm regretting it. It's the second man I ever have sex with.

Broke up a few weeks ago, year long relationship.

First week was pretty bad. Was moping around, constantly seeing if she messaged me.

Second week was a lot better, started to see through the bullshit.

This week im starting to relapse into shit. Im thinking about her. I have that feeling of sadness in my stomach. I just want this shit to end.

>>18691039
Anon I recently broke an 8 year relationship.

Trust me it gets better, things happen for a reason you just need to be patient and wait for that reason.

>>18691018
Sure.

>>18691044
Im sad my best friends gone. I know it wouldnt have worked out but she said all this shit like im the one and wants to marry me.

I just want to message her and ask why she led me on (I wont). I just don't understand.

Sorry mostly venting.

M,
I have a lot of mixed emotions about you and alot of the time is just anger and sadness I see you in other people and I think that if I hope and maybe get lucky that I'll find you and you wont remember how fucked I was. Had I known things would have turned out the way they did I wouldnt have changed everything. Still would have asked you out in the same nerdy way I did and maybe make some the same jokes and ask the same questions. I just wish we hadn't slept together. Maybe it all happened for a reason and maybe it was doomed from the start but I miss you. All those times I tried to talk to you and get closure where I just looked stupid. Kept thinking to myself maybe if I say the right thing she'll come back to me. Yeah that was def wishful thinking sometimes I also wish I could send you a letter since I'm much better at writing then talking. Would have loved for you to read my book since its basically about you but maybe its not in the best of light. I love you and its been three years will be four new years night but idc I still love you and hope your happy somewhere and thanks
B

>>18691059
Don't worry, talking about it helps. Talk to someone you trust or even a random stranger. Don't bottle things anon.

Sometimes we as women lead guys on for self-esteem, or sometimes we are just confused as to what are our feelings.

Can you believe though? It was right there, it would have worked as well. Well, might have done.

>>18690995
Does she flirt or give you any signs that she may feel the same? I'm in the same situation but switched as I'm the female in a relationship and I'd want to know.

>>18691123
Yeah I can believe it. Though that doesn't make it logical or sensible; it's the existance of that "might"that scares us away.

>>18691133
I can't, it's like, there it was it's great now, you'll feel better about things a little bit I hope and I'll get out of here onto something different. I just don't believe it.

Though that you can believe it makes it seem more beleivable. If out of the ordinary. I think the 'might' helps, maybe it might again or at least it was an attempt.

Ready for another bowl full, yummy.

>>18691153
Perhaps later on (way later) you can ask her why. Hell, she probably doesn't know either.

What I did to get over my situations was to stop trying to comprehend things. Sometimes it is better to just accept, cry it out for a while and bury it so we can love again.

My mom read to me before bed until I was like 15

I am sorry about last night. It's hard to stay positive. The two of us are negative as fuck, yet we get along so well. I should have stopped myself getting too depressed. Even though we have only been with each other for so short a time, we seems too connected. As I gave in, you tried to pull me back from the edge of that dark pit we both know. You tried to place your gentle touch on me, and spoke sweetly to me. But, I gave in still and even worse you started to feel bad because you couldn't comfort me. I know you aren't used to being the one trying to be positive. So far it's been me, but you tried to leave your comfort for me. I wish I would have told you last night, that I saw it. To not let you leave for the night, we left on such sour moods.
But today I show and you smile and embrace me as nothing happened.
And we went on to have a great day together. Oh, what are we doing to each other? How we tug at each other's heartstrings. We, so negative are few, that we fear being this happy with each other. I don't want this to end, and I will do anything to make it last.

I might actually love you.

I am 29, F and I've never been in a relationship

>>18691279
That's really sweet. My parents tucked me into bed (or at least would come into my room to say goodnight until I was about 16).

>>18691489
That's ok there's nothing to be ashamed of. But start asking yourself as to why. Have you been too busy with work? No one fits the bill? Start troubleshooting the reasons without blaming yourself.

I miss you

These next 4 weeks are gonna be rough

>>18688609
I don't forget things.
I simply rewrite history.

>>18690890
Dumb nigger

Fuck working for Amazon. I used to think they were a good company to work for, but after the bait and switch bullshit they pulled, advertising one job then dumping me in a shit one on the first day with no explanation, they can suck it. I am going in tomorrow and tossing my badge to HR.

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I miss old me. Never thought I'd say that in earnest...without any ironic venom or cynicism. I was extremely awkward, fatter, and whatever the fuck else. Yet I simply didn't give a fuck, laughed at society with all its expectations and I didn't worry...god, I didn't worry or freak out over anything. Teenage angst be damned. I had a good time with my friends. Everything was actually fucking terrible, but...I still felt cool.

Age 18 was when the real downward spiral begun. A series of experiences suffocated my faith...in others, and myself. In fact I lost so much self-respect and a sense of integrity and security. I was haunted, terrified by everyone and everything, the memories like little parasites shriveling up my minds' bridges. I'm tainted. I'm breaking.

So, with adulthood, depression and anxiety came, and with the years more baggage has rolled in. Queen of the virgin retards...the most abominable sideshow freak...dramatic titles, sure, but the real killing blow has to be how mundane and boring I really am beneath it all.

They told me that losing weight would fix me. They told me that doing stuff would make me good. They told me that it doesn't matter, don't think and the pain and the flashbacks would leave. But nothing worked. Waking up in cold sweats after the nightmares and the festering insomnia afterwards...walking outside and seeing guys' turned heads as a sign of judgment rather than admiration. I feel so ashamed of myself. I'm not good enough. I'm sorry. I'll die. So it'll be okay. It's good that nothing really matters.

I've just deluded myself with another woman, what the fuck. I'm gonna kill myself soon, I know this

Please contact me

>>18691737

are you me my friend?

>>18687805
People like you need castration.

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I don't regret my choice, but it would have been a lot better if I didn't have to move to the other side of the country to get things through.
I miss my home, my family, my friends back there.
Failure is not an option, and neither is giving up, I will do this, even if it costs me everything.
Still, I would love to have somebody actually close to me to share this experience with, instead of being all alone, again.
I just want a friend.

>>18691869
Are you me?
Jesus, I could have written that exact post. I'm getting tired of being lonely.

Clowns aren't scary. They are whimsical and children still laugh in wonder when they see one. Hurr durr let's take the symbol of jester goofiness and make it into a retard horror symbol. Stop pretending being scared of one and trying to fit in you fucking cunt.

I can't stop thinking about fucking you. I know it can never happen, and will never happen, and it's creating a burning pit inside me because I know you felt it too.
I want to fuck you like an animal. I want to canvass your body with my tongue. I want to feel you inside me and ride you until everything around us is wet with our sweat and body fluids. I want to run my fingers through your hair while we rut like the world is on fire. I want to run my hands, my chest, my loins, my lips over every inch of your body. I want to consume you until there's nothing left to give, nothing left to say, nothing left to fuck, and then walk away and let you go back to your life.

I still think I did the right thing

>>18691935
What did you do?

>>18691905
>I know you felt it too.
> I know it can never happen, and will never happen
Contradictory.
If they're single then go for it.

>>18691905

It seems tiresome to me

I'm not your sex object btw, get yourself a fucking dildo and disappear

>>18691943
It's not that simple, unfortunately. Yes, we are both single, but there's other interpersonal relationships to consider, and an age difference. (Nothing disgusting or illegal, obviously). I'm a widow (husband died 4 years ago), and he's one of my adult son's college friends. Basically, I want to Mrs. Robinson him, except I'm not a bitch like she was, and the feelings are mutual. It can't happen. My son would be so fucking pissed, and he's the only family I have and more important than my unquenchable desire to fuck the shit out of his friend.

>>18691983
Kys whore

I seriously need to get over myself and start looking into dating apps or something.

Current chick I'm interested in isn't giving many positive vibes if any at all, so I'm considering cutting my losses on that front.

I wish i weren't so soft spoken and shy and carrying this constant suspicion that any relationship i get into is to just use/manipulate me for something.

I just feel like a wreck

>>18691987
I'm sure she really gives a fuck what you think.

>>18691983
If it really would upset your son, than obviously don't do it. But, maybe talk with the friend, and see what he thinks, if you two could approach your son and talk about it, or something. You're all adults, so treat the situation like adults. I'm sure you're lonely, what about men your age, nothing there?

abstain from meals
abstain from meals
abstain from meals
abstain from meals
abstain from meals
abstain from meals

>>18691999
This needs to be my mantra as well.

>>18691983

>My son would be so fucking pissed, and he's the only family I have and more important than my unquenchable desire to fuck the shit out of his friend.

So basically you don't care about his feelings, you care only about your eventual loneliness.

This means you ARE a bitch.

>>18691998
Neck yourself, pathetic beta whore enabler

>>18691998
>men your age

Well, first off, most men my age are either divorced or have never been married, both of which tend to come with certain drama. Also, they are usually looking to get married again. I loved my husband so much, no one could replace that, so I don't plan on getting married again. It would take someone extremely special to get me to consider that. To be honest, younger men are frankly easier because I don't have to worry about them wanting more from me than I'm willing to give. I don't enjoy being an asshole and having to explain this to men when they want to take things further.

>>18692003
No, that's not what that means at all, you are being obtuse. And there's no point in trying to rile me, I know what people like you are like, and I don't care.

>>18687796
It's not worth trying to change people. Change yourself instead, the effort actually yields a result.

Trust me, it's like trying to squeeze blood out of a rock.

>>18687805
Rape is degenerate. Allowing it would ruin our society.

>>18687678
>Took the day off from work to talk care of some important stuff with the apartment.
>It's looking like I'll be done way early and could just go into work late instead of using my sick hours up
>I don't wanna go into work

Hm.

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It's annoying that because I'm black, half of the things I do and am will 100% be attributed to my race in some way, down to how I'm treated by others. Being aware of it makes my existing social anxiety and avoidant behaviors even worse. I started noticing it from a young age, too. People would act a certain way toward me, and then be much nicer to white kids even though I never caused any trouble, kept to myself and wasn't loud or rude. I didn't know how to put it into words, but I could tell. It's even more annoying that people don't even seem to recognize themselves doing it. Or, maybe they secretly do, and just make excuses in their mind for it. I don't know.
I guess I do like the fact that I can basically get away with having an eating disorder, considering EDs are considered a "white thing". If being fat and white or Asian is a painful existence, being fat and black is literally hell. It's a hundred times easier to be the skinny, black "quirky" girl than the fat black one that everyone projects all sorts of dumb stereotypes onto on sight (mammy, ghetto, loud, bitchy, etc). People don't judge me as harshly. If I can make myself even skinnier, to the point of near-invisibility, maybe it'll be even less difficult.

>>18690822
Initials?

>>18692020

Yes, you are selfless and pure, like Jesus Christ. Believe this.

>>18691905
Imagine psychologically preparing yourself to admit this to someone, typing it out in Notes, and rewriting it to sound better three times. Finally satisfied after two days, you copy it, then paste it into the text message field and hit Enter. Three seconds later, in horror, you realize you sent it to the wrong person.

>>18692115
You next thread: "Why can't I find a gf? I am nice and very compassionate and friendly :("

>>18692109
Abbie?

>>18692122
Perfect comedy material.
>and hilarity ensues
That post is hot, though. I can fap to that.

Why are you so fucking stupid now. You used to be a really smart girl. The worthless degree you're majoring cause the switch

>>18692134

Not with everybody

>>18692134

>implying that your tastes are everybody's tastes

What a spoiled and self absorbed girl we have in here.

>>18692196
>>18692186
>samefagging
>thinking I'm the person you were talking to
>thinking I'm a girl
kek

>>18692109
Literally me. It's so bad that don't think I can deal with having white bosses anymore because despite me being quiet and rather compliant, they, especially white males in particular, seemed obsessed with finding reasons to punish me or get me angry. Then if there was any indication of a less than happy to serve attitude, even if it was just a sigh, I automatically had an attitude problem that also needed to be disciplined. I mean I had one boss actually bring me into a room for a lecture about getting to work on-time instead of a ridiculous half an hour early and then get upset that I said, "I'm sorry sir" instead of getting mad. Then he did the same to my half-black coworker who did have an attitude she kept apologizing for but said nothing to my white coworker who was rude bitch to everybody.

It fucking sucks that people seem to think that black people aren't capable of any feelings besides anger. It's like they don't want to see anything else out of us. Nobody will acknowledge my depression and straight up ignore my anxiety. They will call me being happy weird then come at me acting standoffish or confrontational from the start. Then either give me shit for not being mad enough like a "typical" black or pretend I'm too mad like a "typical" black.

I'm just so tired of this world that strips the humanity from black women from every direction. I wish I could just be open and honest and be allowed to have emotions. I want to be just a woman who can want to be treated and loved gently and not a black woman who is a threat and "deserves" to be mistreated or ignored by everybody.

Sorry for the rant but as a fellow black woman I do understand and wish the best for you. Hopefully one day there will be a place in the world that treats us like individual, unique women capable of feelings and deserving of being treated with affection and respect. Don't blame yourself or harm yourself because. The problem isn't us, it's ignorant, cold hearted ppl.

>>18692212

>you want to post again = samefagging
>not understands this is an anonymous board
>bitter white knight

topkek

>>18691803
Ok. How? Smoke signals?

>>18692223
Thanks for this, anon. I'm glad someone understands, and I'm sorry your boss and coworkers are such shitheads. I hope things get better in the future. They probably won't, but society is still changing, after all.

>>18692142
No idea who that is, sorry.

>>18692245
A black girl that I used to know who struggled with an eating disorder.

>>18692268
Did her last name start with "Agy"?

Another job interview into the trashbin!

They told me everything went well and now they don't reply back to my emails, phone is shut off. What the fuck, they pay you to answer emails. At least answer me back saying "you're shit and we don't want you". Don't leave me here waiting for nothing.

My mother-in-law is awesome. Feels good to have a mother again after three years.

>>18692293
It did not.

>>18692401
What happened with your actual mother?

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All I want to do is grow marijuana. I want to start up my own grow operation and eventually open up a dispensary once it becomes recreational.

However, the fact that I can't talk to anybody about this (especially my family) is killing me.

The fact that my family expects me to have a pretty "normal" life by societies standards also kills me. They talk about having grand kids and what they want to be called when they are grand parents, but I have never had an actual relationship with a woman in my life (25/m and virgin).

I'm extremely close to finishing my Bachelors Degree, but loath school.

I just moved back in with my parents and they expect me not to smoke weed under their roof.

I have an extreme sense of self-loathing and depression, literally want to die every day, but if I talk about it with my family they will just tell me smoking weed is my problem.

I want to be happy, so desperately...but I just feel this consistent sense of impending doom. I just want to die and be rid if these feelings.

The best girl I have ever been with broke up with me 3 days ago all because of stress at her home we were together for over a year it was also online and we were planning on meeting soon.

We were exactly alike in every single way she was my best friend and all we wanted was to spend time with each other and just be there for each other. She deleted me off all of her stuff and left me with a lengthy message as to why we shouldn't continue. God it hurts so much, someone please tell me its going to get better because my fucking chest hurts........

I fucking hate how much time I wasted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I THINK ABOUT IT CONSTANTLY

Why do people on Instagram take pictures of the food they're eating, or going to eat?

>>18692416
She died three years ago of cancer. She was an amazing mother, though pretty strict, but I guess I turned out okay?

In all honesty her death fucked up my father quite more than me. They didn't have any friends besides eachother and my father forgot how to make bonds with other humans. He's finally getting better, though, so that's good.

>>18692422
Anon, it IS going to get better, I promise. But first, you're going to have to work through the hurt. It sucks, but it's part of the healing process.

>>18692450
Thanks friend its nice even just to read that from someone else....

>>18692459
Well, it's true, anon. Everyone has had their share of heartbreak, and you WILL pull through, I absolutely promise. It just really sucks and hurts right now. Stay strong, friend.

I fell in love with my best friend's girlfriend. Debating whether I should write her a letter and then block her on everything and never see her again, or if I should just block her with no explanation.
Either way, my heart is fucking broken. I never intended for this to happen.

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She always tries contacting me, saying she misses me and apologizing for making me hate her... I was talking to an aquaintence of ours and he even said that she was talking about me a lot. I miss the fuck out of her but ive given her a lot of chances and she still does shit that makes me so angry. I try to move on but her trying to contact me doesnt help at all.

>Pic related, she texted me this the other day, didnt respond

I got a note left for me with an slight insult word added to it at the end, presumably by someone else. Replied to it with a big old "fuck you stupid cunt" rant aimed at the insult, with arrow pointing to the insult because it pissed me off to a point of chimp out Well, turns out either the notes writer doesn't understand arrows then contacted our supervisor or the note was actually left by my supervisor who now reads the thing as a big old straight fuck you at him.
Sup's confronts me about the note because reasonable suspicion, infront of another unrelated person so automatic "wasn't me.jpg" face due to social anxieties.
"Me thinks I'll just clear this up later in private". Bit later doesn't happen as entire group gets pulled up for "this is unacceptable communication" speech and healing circle.
Pretty much sure everyone knows or suspects it was me. Have to just whistle along because it's too late publicly bail now I guess. I still might get to some trouble for it cause I see things about sudden new meetings and shit, some disciplinary action, doubt anything serious but it's not kosher by any means career wise. FML

>>18692650
Don't send her anything. You also don't need to block her either. Decrease the amount of time you two spend together, treat her less like a confidant, and limit any incidental physical contact or things that could arguably count as flirting and the feelings will begin to fade. You have to make an honest commitment to do that and stick to it though or else it won't work.

>>18689771
Keep cool, don't be too needy-greedy. give some space and time to think. Ask her out after a few days gone past. If she doesn't give a straight yes/no, or reschedule, friendzone exit the fuck out of her: just tell her you like her as more than a friend, and wanna see if it's as good as you think but if she's not gonna go out, then don't want to with you'll have to ask this one other sheila out instead and leave her alone.

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>Get lucky and score a job right out of college
>Among people who did amazing things, all of them rolemodels in different ways
>Company gets caught doing some illegal bs that no one but the top brass was aware of
>Get booted from the company along with half of the IT crew just before my 2-year milestone
>Been applying even during the 2 month period of "employment"
>No calls
>No emails
>Try temp agencies last week because I just want a job to get out of the house regularly and be secure in my finances
>No calls
>No emails
Short of being told to keep trying or to kill myself I'm at the end of my rope. I know there are people out there that have been looking for jobs for over a year, but I'm not being picky, I'm trying all sorts of entry level, internship, but at this rate I'm only a handful of months away from being at a year of unemployment.
I just wanted to work loyally at a company while doing my own thing at home, learning along the way to try and get into my dream field, but now I'm just trying to get back into my old field even with no avail.
I'm willing to take paycuts, I'm willing to work ungodly hours, I just want a purpose to work, not this endless cycle of hedonism and self-loathing.

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>>18687678

My wife has treated me like... Well like shit, most of our years together.
Why did I stay you say? Because Im stubborn, and had a bad confidence to begin with. Now though, its practically zero. And most importantly, we have a beautiful 4 year old son which I love more than anything.
But being basically treated as someone that's of "less value" than her is just the worst. She thinks so highly of herself it stings the eye, and her family is just the same. And if you criticize it, even in the most gentle manner, your the bad guy.

Had a female colleague say something like "Im so happy I have my man, and sometimes I just can't help myself think he´s so damn hot!", this was mostly aimed at all the other female coworkers blabbering, but this sentence caught my attention... And it hurt, like really hurt. Because I know, no matter what I do, no matter what I achieve, my wife will never think this of me. And just the knowledge that she never will feel this way is, well quite frankly depressing.

See on many levels I still love my wife, but in truth I want her to be someone else entirely as a person. Someone warm, feminine, playful, encouraging, and even a bit of stubborn.

>will never happen.jpg

I will create a kingdom which will rule for a thousand years.

I got soul, that's why I came. To teach those that don't know my name.

>>18689276
This anon here

She ghosted me, deleted presumably blocked me on facebook and whatsapp

5 days ago, when she broke up, she didn't
I was mourning but wanted to tell her something, i feel betrayed, confused as to why she didn't even mention deleting my number.

What a shit personality she has in the end, once she contacts me to get her books i'll drop them off in front of my door and not even look at her
Fucking hell

>made enough of money in summer to be able to take a month or two off now until I get new job
>signed up for part-time master's from Oct, but now I'm free so I spend the time on learning programming and it's really satisfying
>feels like all that logic I have to use kinda rewired my brain to stop caring about girls, ironically it feels like I'm better at dealing with them now
>yesterday I hanged out with a buncha friends and they were saying they missed me (I used to go there weekly to watch a show with them but stopped when the show ended), in the evening a (drunk) friend called me randomly and she said she's been missing me, a few days ago I hanged out with a good bro and he helped me out in a trouble, in general I realized I do have a bunch of friends that actually like me at least a bit
>I usually hate my face but yesterday when a friend took a picture of me and she showed me I liked it so much I asked her to send it and put it on instagrammo
I wanted to sum it up for myself because I think I have a few things to be happy about. And I am happy, I could list a few more.
Still, I keep getting anxiety attacks lately (as in breathing trouble etc.) and I have no idea why. I mean I think it's anxiety, but maybe I should visit a doc.

I would kill ten thousand kittens to be near you again, or to even see you again. I'm serious, without you my life has been shit. It's been two fucking years since we first met. I wasnt in love with you first but i soon developed a crush on you. When you told me that you loved me, my entire life felt like it was worth it. I dont blame you for leaving me. Honestly the second half of our relationship was bumpy and I'll be honest I think you kind of abused me emotionally. Thats okay though, I dont mind. The last time we "talked" was a mess... It was my fault. Im a loser and an idiot, but i never ruined your life like you say i did.

I'm not a good person, but I want to do good and the only way I can see doing that is by ending suffering, all suffering. But idk how Id do that. Im not even sure if you're okay, we havent talked in almost a year. Are you even alive? If I found out you were dead I think I would probably kill myself, just knowing that some stupid thing I said may have influenced you to do something and then as time went on and you moved back home that you might have taken your life. I would need to kill myself, But i can't im a coward. So id rather never know.

You are the one I've ever loved. Even though we havent talked in a long time I think about you every minute of everyday. Was I the reason you're not here anymore? I hope you'll never read this, I hope your life is good. But I'm scared your not alive anymore. I cant even use words to describe how shit everythings gone to in the past year. A mutual friend of ours died, i wonder if you heard. Well otherwise if you do happen to be reading this (its possible, remember last time?) I hope you have a good day.

Ps. I've started watching one of your favorite shows a while ago. Its really good, but watching it makes me sad, but in a good way. I love you so much.

women are manipulative and biologically inferior, socially they could thrive but instead of working past problems as a gender they surround themselves with asspatters and orbiters who concrete the narcissism and selfishness they gain from never being able to do anything wrong ever no matter what

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Fucked that last one up
>meet girl
>she's from Florida
>have been keeping in contact for over 4 month
>playing online games together for over a month
>we reveals to me she really likes me but has trouble with emotions
>tell her she's alright, that I understand that, we keep going, texting, talking video when we can
>she wants to ask me out, and if I'm willing to head over to Florida for a week or two
>might do it
>tell me about the hurricane
>she knows I'm worried
>tries to comfort me by telling me she's used to hurricanes
Fuck you mother nature, get off the rag and leave Florida alone. I actually have a reason to care about that hellish state, REEEEEEEEEEE!

>>389378521
these kind of feminists are so fucking stupid. They think that just because their gender is being brought up they think it's sexist. They are too stupid to grasp that these people are just picking at a weakness. If they sounded nerdy, people would call them nerds instead. if they sounded black, they would be made fun of for being black. If they sounded gay, they would be made fun of for sounding gay.

It has nothing to do with what they are and everything to do with trolling. Trying to get a rise out of them. This doesn't mean the people are sexist or racist, it just means they are fucking with you.

The more these dumb cunts complain about "muh sexism" online, the funnier it becomes to the trolls.

Congrats, am I done blowing your minds yet? Of course not. You idiots need me.

>>18692916
They don't miss you or even think about you anymore. Grieve and get over them

I was a fuckup for 8 years and now I get to do life the hard way. Hard work, low pay, terrible hours, chunks of glue in my hair - all the bits.

You make me crazy. Do you know how much I love you? This hurts so much...

>>18692438
You're just now wondering that?

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Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck

How do i stop overthinking things guys???!

Everytime someone looks at me or bumps into me in the hallway or when im sitting alone in a class i cant ever stop thinking people are seceretly talking about me or judging me.

fuck im so fucking unhappy