/ss13g/ - Spessmen on a spess station

first for cervix tickling

File: grandshitposter.png (221KB, 1197x486px) Image search: [Google]

221KB, 1197x486px

First for SHITBONES

It's like I'm in mid 2016 threads with these old memes

Waifu Listings:

Plebeian- Felicity Rivera
Contrarian- Rail Kingston
Patrician- Ivy Stocker

>Dead space whale carcas
>Ancient temple
>High-value cargo ship crash

Take your pick

>>168464115
2 and 3 sound good. Would the temple be cult related? And what cargo would the ship have

Is slip-fu the most robust of all spess martial arts?

>>168464252
tase-fu is the most effective, and hard to master. Slip-fu is too easily countered to be the most robust, but it definitely has its uses against people who are untrained in the ways of the Robust Arts. Clickfu has the most potential, though, and is also easily the hardest to master.

>>168464238
We've already got a cult related one with the unique mace, I was thinking more xenoarchy.

Cargo ship I was thinking of having 3 seperate vaults, each would have their own unique thing, but getting things from the two parts would unlock the secure hold in the third, which would have something a little more crazy in it

holy shit that's the worst sec i've ever seen

>>168464452
those sound bretty good. It would be nice to see a not narsie related temple for once. Maybe make it like 5 seperate cargo ships some with amazing loot, others with garbage and one full of hostile mobs

>>168464056

Felicity isn't a waifu, they are too pure.

Daily reminder that Lube Shoes Syndrome is fun

>people say there are lings when there really aren't

every time

>>168464524
I feel bad for being a part of it to be honest

that was the worst sec team I've seen in a long time, and I played my own part in it being shit

god damn we need to get our shit together here people

>>168464452
would you make it so if one part of the cargo ship spawns the rest will spawn as well?

>>168464614
>>>/tumblr/

File: 2017-02-01_20-15-56.png (765KB, 796x536px) Image search: [Google]

765KB, 796x536px

>Security had two whole opportunities to see that you were a vampire
>They fail twice because they thought you were a ling
>Literally GO INVISIBLE RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE SEC OFFICER
>Still thinks you're a ling.

>>168463807
Does zealotron really hate them??

>>168464643
>that was the worst sec team I've seen in a long time, and I played my own part in it being shit
I second that. I guess im retarded today. Time to play R6 instead

>>168464734
I should play Rimworld myself, I've been slow and dumb all day

i'm gonna keep playing though and see what happens.

>sec was shit
>medbay was on point
>botanist giving poisoning everyone

File: shuttle bar done.png (155KB, 768x447px) Image search: [Google]

155KB, 768x447px

I finally got the shuttle bar done wiggles.

>>168464901
what a completely back asswards round

move Pierrot's Throat to stage 2 or 4 so you can combo it with Lube to make a virus that turns people into clowns then

is it possible to connect the northmost derelict SMES to the research room without tearing everything down?
i couldn't get it

>>168465007
>no way to get coffee
lad...

File: dreamseeker_2017-02-15_18-18-20.png (174KB, 678x615px) Image search: [Google]

174KB, 678x615px

>>168465157
rip

File: NukeGotNuked.png (387KB, 800x560px) Image search: [Google]

387KB, 800x560px

HARD
HITTING
EDITORIALS

>>168465243
gottem

>>168464056
Authoritarian- Ailsa Dochartaigh

>>168464569
I was thinking of maybe taking inspiration from stargate and metroid

So, fighting off against large mechanical statues of horus, bastet, etc.

FAVORITE SEC OFFICER GO

>>168465261
Could you post the past few recent ones of these things?

File: sponge_3.jpg (92KB, 293x308px) Image search: [Google]

92KB, 293x308px

>arrive as grayshit
>tool storage all out, figure I'll get Engi and fuck around since power seems alright
>do so, meet Chef on the way, he clearly has done some genetics fuckery and polymorphs into me except with paler hair because it always gets paler when i'm cloned for some reason
>we share a moment of memes
>go to Engineering and gear up
>decide that the easiest place to fuck with a wire would be dorms
>bite into a kudzu pod on the way because curiosity
>doors bolted when I try to leave, figure NT Default but I didn't cut wires, just pulsed
>nope, Sec was hunting me
>drags me to brig, they talk about me as if I'm a ling but don't really ask me about it directly
>health worsening rapidly and I start throwing up
>shoved in brig while they have a meeting, chat up a doctor over general comms about why I'm dying while I'm dying
>dragged to execution chamber, still trying to figure out why they think I'm a ling
>die from the kudzu toxin before they can inject me
>they drag me to Medbay and the doctor viciously rags out Sec while fixing me
>Detective lurking near me after i'm off the wild ride, tell him clearly I'm going back to Sec to get my shit
>arrive at Sec, walk in after the HoS when they open the door while I'm standing by them
>nope, HoS stuncuffs me and puts me in brig for ten minutes screaming about "NO COMING IN MY BRIG WITHOUT WARNING"
>tell her that I did warn her, the detective, and the officer already there multiple times
>she releases me and I get my shit, fuck off, and avoid Sec until the end of the round
Literally Nanotrasen's finest, I'm so proud of all of you.

File: thebunker.png (572KB, 960x672px) Image search: [Google]

572KB, 960x672px

>>168465478

WHAT DID NUKLEAR EVEN DO

>>168465485
Oh.

Reason I had you arrested was because I saw the chef, transformed as you, transform into someone.

I noted the name to sec, but it seems they were too busy condeming you to lingdom to notice.

File: 1473219937406.png (1MB, 966x1037px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 966x1037px

>>168465243
>>168465157

File: dreamseeker_2017-02-16_03-00-32.png (19KB, 703x163px) Image search: [Google]

19KB, 703x163px

>>168465485
>>168465636
Whoops, I guess. That said, I didn't tell them you were a changeling, merely that you transformed, and that they should investigate.

They weren't really up-to-par.

File: vgstation-logo.gif (58KB, 150x150px) Image search: [Google]

58KB, 150x150px

Contribute to the Wiki!

>>168465790
>that's worth telling security
ok
but why

File: TheRatPrince.png (1MB, 1400x980px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 1400x980px

>>168465478
Not a duplicate reply

>>168465790
the only way this would be acceptable is if you had literally just started
he'd done it multiple times by that point

>>168465935
muh valids son

>>168465007
Looking good.
I realized a flaw when I would put that addition onto the left side of the windows, in that it would block the spacepod in between that and the solars.
I think next time maybe re-purposing that area off the right and incorporating the bathroom would work nicely, this looks a bit crowded.

>>168465935
Well when there's people yelling VAMPIRE and CHANGELING and a good portion of the staff's gone missing I get a little anxious.

That said, I should've kept my ass shut. Sorry.

>>168465991
I like this one!

File: Secborgs4.png (548KB, 960x672px) Image search: [Google]

548KB, 960x672px

>>168465478
Even less of a duplicate reply

>>168466040
okay but if they were doing it in a public place it really isn't worth mentioning

File: sponge_1.jpg (36KB, 293x308px) Image search: [Google]

36KB, 293x308px

>>168465790
>>168465636
It's no big deal, I can understand the suspicion, but the blame lies on Sec for not really trying to verify or paying attention. All is well though, and one even apologized.

i'm only mad about the HoS, because I also like to play HoS and being that much of a shitter only makes it harder for me because it worsens the role's already rough reputation

File: whyfu.png (534KB, 960x672px) Image search: [Google]

534KB, 960x672px

>>168465478
The least duplicate reply that ever replied

>>168466171
The blackshirts are meant to be the bad guys damn it it's not the horns and tail

>>168466254
>it's no big deal

It's a big deal because it's valid hunting you retard.

>>168466254
> run into brig
> expect not to be tased and brigged for major trespass
Look lad it's highpop and commons is flooded, wait your turn at the table like everyone else does, you're not special just because you have shit in the brig

File: inverted.png (537KB, 960x672px) Image search: [Google]

537KB, 960x672px

>>168466346

File: Birden.png (768KB, 1280x896px) Image search: [Google]

768KB, 1280x896px

>>168465478

>>168466435
nigger he literally announced it and the hos opened the door for him
the equivalent is chloraling someone because they dragged a patient into medbay after you opened the door

>>168466524
NOW EVERYTHING BUT THE SHIRTS AND PANTS ARE BAD

>>168466435
>arrest someone on retarded, baseless charges
>attempt to have them executed without ever telling them why
>let them die
>they go back to Sec to get their shit when Medbay fixed your fuckup
>they're the bad guy

>>168466574
>Knock offs
ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUTES
it's hilarious though big up to whoever made it

>>168466575
> nigger he literally announced it and the hos opened the door for him
I was the HoS and me running into the brig for my own reasons doesn't mean I opened the door for you
> the equivalent is chloraling someone because they dragged a patient into medbay after you opened the door
Medbay is practically general pop access no one gives a shit if anyone trespasses into it. Brig is major trespass and it was code blue.
>>168466719
>they go back to Sec to get their shit when Medbay fixed your fuckup
Not getting arrested (processed really, I ended up letting him go after thirty seconds) on major trespass charges is as easy as just not running in after someone into the brig

>>168466913
>Medbay is practically general pop access
wrong
>no one gives a shit if anyone trespasses into it.
VERY wrong.
>Brig is major trespass and it was code blue.
Also wrong.

What the fuck, man.

>>168466913
>stand within 1 tile of someone and open a door
>walk in
>they say they're gonna follow you in
>they have already said to the other people they're coming in
>you don't tell them not to
>they follow you in
>WTF GET OUT OF MY BRIG GREYTIDE SCUM MAJOR TRESPASS ENJOY YOUR TEN MINUTES

>>168466913
>Medbay is practically general pop access no one gives a shit if anyone trespasses into it
I don't give a fuck if you're the HoS, Captain, or a fucking admin bussed in. If you break into my department, I'm going to chloral you and cut your fucking feet off. You're shit and it's a miracle there's not a ban request on your ass right now.

>>168466913
I can only assume this is your first time playing a Head, because nobody with this attitude stays without a headban for very long.

>>168466984
>>168467227
> wrong
It's the highest traffic, least effort to enter required area in the game. I've played enough medbay to not care about people entering unless they've been persistent medbay harassers, so I'm not gonna care as sec unless medbay brings it up themselves.

I wouldn't bother anyone chloraling people who enter, though.
> If you break into my department, I'm going to chloral you and cut your fucking feet off.
You sound very mad and maybe have a different idea of what I'm describing than you do. When I talk about medbay being general pop, I'm referencing the fact that the main internal hall of medbay is kept open near-constantly due to the flood of patients and doctors moving in and out. No one bats an eye at people running in to get a pill from the fridge then running out, or whatever arcane reason people keep breaking in.
> Also wrong.
Are you disputing brig being major trespass or it being code blue?
>>168467080
You can pretend I wanted my stun cuff 10 minute valids if you want, rather than simply not hearing you because sometimes sec just wants to enter or leave the brig instead of dealing with or listening to whatever 2-3 people are hanging around the brig lobby at the time.
>you don't tell them not to
The easy solution here is to run in after someone who DID confirm you being allowed to go in
>>168467515
t. surely it's an attitude problem

usually when people run into brig headfirst I tazer them and stuff them down disposals.

Goodbye.

>>168469743
See you in 2 weeks!

When people call Sleep tox/chloral shitter juice, what exactl does that mean? Does it mean it makes you a shitter for using it, or you only use it for shitters?

>>168470128
You don't know who I am, and I don't know who you are, but I just wanted someone to know I'm leaving, because nobody cares.

>>168470297
Both, although neither side know it yet

balloons

niggers

TEST SERB UP

>>168470358
I careKind of

>>168470465
this

File: 1420509341003.png (16KB, 460x423px) Image search: [Google]

16KB, 460x423px

AI starting with a different lawset each rounds when?

the heads would finally have a reason to change them since someone decided to go full retard and remove non-human heads while i was gone for months

>>168472328
>changing the laws when there isn't an existential threat to the station and its crew

nah this is totally fine

>>168472328
Dirty dumb nonhuman scum.

What's your character's backstory?

>>168473112
They're crazy.

>>168473112
He had a husband who died, but now he's just working for Nanotrasen, paycheck-to-paycheck, miserable but finding small moments of happiness in the chaotic space station.

>>168473112
The sole survivor of a shuttle hijacked and crashed by the leader of the Syndicate. He didn't die so good.

>>168473112
Had sex with all of the girls on the station before round start every and has to get home without them following him because he's too cool to be dragged down by their desire to keep him all to themselves

File: 1466883606772.jpg (42KB, 344x344px) Image search: [Google]

42KB, 344x344px

>>168473112
He's old as fuck and was in space 'nam and was also a cop on mars or something like that.
I just rolled every grizzled veteran stereotype into one guy.
Now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure I've never actually played a static who wasn't in the space-vietnam war.

>>168473112
dumb bird that's an autistic savant at surgery and also likes super disgusting food

File: 1385281883238.gif (27KB, 640x960px) Image search: [Google]

27KB, 640x960px

>>168473112
Materialized into existence around noon time. Likes Dr. Gibb and raw meat.

>>168473112
They chose a human name from a german dictionary they found somewhere and went to trade wares

Now try and guess staticnames based off those descriptions

>>168467227
If I'm the captain and you try to tell me I can't go in medbay your ass is demoted

>>168473360
hi ricky
slimes aren't real women
i don't think slimes even have genders

>>168473685
HoS has medbay access too
I doubt any of these people talking shit on the thread would even chloral a greyshit security cadet walking in much less an officer

>>168473112
She was a spaceman on a space station
She is still a spaceman on a space station

>>168473685
>breaking in
>going in
These aren't the same.

>>168473848
>captain or HoS breaking in

god damn stop being fucking retarded

>>168473886
You'd be amazed.

>>168466913
Jackasses who break into medbay to take up space, steal supplies, pop random pills, and interrupt doctors trying to do more important things are valid for limb removal in my books.
If you don't need fixing, then fuck off.

FIX THE ROLES RESETTING JESUS FUCK

>>168474128
It seems to reset when it's a traitor round

>>168474128
QUORKS ON MY MACHINE

>>168473383
Literally every character has been in space nam
This is a scientific fact

>>168473202
Bill Hudson
>>168473214
No fucking clue, I don't even know any gay statics
>>168473217
I dunno, Antonio Betulla?
>>168473360
Kent Fistem
>>168473383
Travis Egedy?
>>168473407
McScreeee?
>>168473606
Billy
>>168473626
Wunderbar
>>168473834
Isabella or some other >she who isn't obnoxious

>>168474343
every round is space nam

File: 0014cc6b511b17da055c9812c2dc110d[1].png (11KB, 708x207px) Image search: [Google]

11KB, 708x207px

Was there really a 10 hour round earlier?

>>168473112
may be borderline autistic. And hates borgs

>>168474484
it's supposed to be your character not you you piece of shit

File: vietnam flashback.webm (740KB, 1280x720px) Image search: [Google]

740KB, 1280x720px

>>168474343
It's fucking true, man. Everyone was there.

>>168474541
wtf?
Is that thing okay? Did it die?

>>168473112
killed their Ex-Wife after a messy divorce

>>168474343
Despite everyone being a veteran of the war, nobody's quite certain what exactly happened there.
>>168474589
I think he's okay, probably just taking a moment to chew his food. He looks kinda stuffed.
He's remembering all the friends he lost back in the war.

What the heck happened that round? I was in the thick of it trying to build a new SME and even I don't have a clue.

yred's second polyacid grenade really cracked me up

File: Uta6Uz3.gif (2MB, 448x252px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 448x252px

>Just wanted to repair the borg that got severe Robotocist neglect
>Get critted to fueltank

>>168473112
Guy who is fresh out of space-school looking for odd jobs to feed his hedonistic desires. Was busted twice for spacedrugs and is not allowed to carry anything sharper than a fork.

>>168473112
condors

>>168473112
DOORS AND DOOR ACCESSORIES

>>168473112
>>168452926

>>168473924
What, are you talking about the HoS or the Captain going somewhere during an emergency when there's no power or they don't have access? Because you're a fucking shitter that is only separated from the worst greytides by the job that you play if you are

"Botany is Easy," the wiki said.
"Everything's gonna be fine," it said.

What it didn't tell me, however, was that I could accidentally gas the fucking lab. 11/10 I should NEVER be allowed to solo Botanist.

>>168474951
lmao whatever man you're just learning. Good laughs though

>>168474951
>Scan Seed
>This seed produces gas
>Crisis averted

>>168473112
Technically ex-military but never saw combat and planned his life around being in the service, so now he works for NT. As a result, he's got the basics of pretty much every station job but tends towards medicine related stuff because he really just wants to help people so he can feel good about himself.

so what happened with the vox to warrant that centcom annoucnement

>>168473112
He works for Nanotrasen

>get stuck in the tubes on the research station for a half an hour trying to dodge spiders while desperately PDAing people to come save me from two spider queens

all I wanted was to make my chloral in peace

sorry I didnt do more to make that a fun round but gog damn I mentally checkout out

>>168475025
Yeah, that was probably the most fun I've had today on the sever. Now, to figure out how NOT to do that.

>>168475032
I can scan the seed itself? Holy fuck I'm retarded.

File: C4qDTRXWEAAQYRH.jpg large.jpg (12KB, 271x294px) Image search: [Google]

12KB, 271x294px

>>168472632
>Pro-human shitheads

>>168473112
Clone#577C29A of Geneseed#B8C5789 with randomized structural enzymes injections per clone in order to promote epigenetic mutations that can later be extrapolated upon to help prevent the slow death of our species, assuming that I manage to survive the shift.

>>168474379
who the fug is billy

>>168475235
A retarded skeleton who once threw a giant fit because some one once stole his blue bucket.

>>168473112
young neptunian space navy sailor who finished his enlistment and has no idea how to reintegrate back into society
pretty terrible and everything he does but very loyal, foolhardy and expendable.

>>168473112
Alternating between child of first-generation immigrants and first generation-immigrant depending on what role I get and how I want to play at any given time.

>>168473112

She grew up rather sheltered with parents who worked for Nanotrasen. Already having family in, she was able to get a job with them as well, regardless of her mediocre performance during her education. She has a sister who she is close with and supports financially. Her sister hates her for selling out and working for Nanotrasen given that it consumed their lives and ruined their childhood.

>>168473112
I have yet to flesh out a character. should I even

http://pastebin.com/Fv0tbsk1

There's more, I'm a piece of shit
Trinity collapsed after a civil war and the ISFA absorbed the people left over, leaving most of them to rot in bureaucratic limbo on a backwater colony

>>168473112
meant to link
>>168475748

File: clownsec.jpg (116KB, 1280x720px) Image search: [Google]

116KB, 1280x720px

>>168463578
The clowns duty is to transform pain into laughter. The Clowns duty is to expose the human condition and make us laugh about things we are not necessarily proud of.

File: 1473286689952.jpg (44KB, 348x219px) Image search: [Google]

44KB, 348x219px

>>168475854

>>168445526
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=HI0x0KYChq4

>>168445526

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ABc8ciT5QLs

>>168475361
sounds like a swell guy

>>168473112
He's a space junkie.

>>168445526
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BPPtrqvHGEg

>>168475854
I once had a clown stack eight stacks of banana peels in every direction in a tiny room using a hacked clown car.

Then he broke a window and slowly let the oxygen drain out.

I wonder what part of the human condition he was trying to teach me with that.

>Head of Security (0) (Active: 0)
>Security Officer (0) (Active: 0)
>Round time 0h 30m

File: 1313163302855.jpg (30KB, 500x688px) Image search: [Google]

30KB, 500x688px

>>168477638
Oh so it must be one hell of a productive round.

>>168477258
Clown stories?
Back before there was ZaS shenanigans, I remember a clown bolted one side of the escape doors and lubed the titles going up to it. Then he built a chute system ending there. It was pretty simple but funny as fuck seeing assistants get blown into space.

>>168477746
imagine that with current zas
a vent blowing air for each chute and a scrubber siphoning for each chute constantly pulling them into the chutes

>>168477746
>>168477974
Saw a clown install wall flashes in the main hallway junction controlled by some switches further down the hallway

>>168473794
That's not me buddy. My backstory would never be that and including the word round into a backstory is improper.
I'm not going to autism here about slimes, but of course they don't have a gender.

>>168477746
For me, #1 was still the clown who figured out on Taxistation that he could swap the Left Shuttle Console and the Right Shuttle Console to make passengers in one control the other unknowingly.

I don't remember who you were, but I salute you.

>>168478151

I miss you and science.

>>168477746
>new
>IAA
>traitor
>gotta kill a guy
>make up some shitty story about having headaches to get sleep toxin from medbay
>my target tricky pens, mutates and disposals me
>barely survive, the clown helps me out
>he helps me dress up in new incognito clothes
>monkey suit it up and follow him around as a monkey with a knife and a lust for revenge
>hunting with clown in tow to kill this guy
>stop
>time for a food break
>the clown and I pig out on cheesie honkers, jerky, and candy
>leave a big ass mess of wrappers all over
>end up just tiding with the clown all round
It was good

File: 7b3421a9-50a9-4d93-a4f1-4546ccf64507.jpg (50KB, 527x645px) Image search: [Google]

50KB, 527x645px

>>168473112
He got abducted by NT shortly after leaving a convenience store.

>>168478151
I get it, it was a joke.
do you actually have a backstory though

>>168479831
>BRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAP
TRIGGERED
PTSD
FUCKING TRAUMATIZED

File: ｆｕｃｋｔｈｅｐａｉｎａｗａｙ.gif (2MB, 1276x697px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 1276x697px

baby's day out mode when

>player controlled baby spawns at roundstart
>captain has to secure him
>anywhere from 2-5 undercover syndicate agents cooperate to capture him
>baby can resist out of people's grasp/containers and ventcrawl on cooldown timers
>babu gets randomized objectives as the round goes on (e.g. "go to the laundry room," "pet ian," "light somebody's cock on fire"), completing them enhances baby's abilities and strengthens its plot armor for further mischief
>baby must eat regularly or die (to prevent players from locking it in a room for extended periods)
>four minutes before the emergency shuttle docks all agents are notified via pda uplink that a syndicate shuttle will be arriving at one of several random locations at the same time as the emergency shuttle
>if the baby arrives at centcomm, the crew wins
>if the baby arrives aboard the syndie shuttle, the syndicate wins
>if the baby's left on the station or dies, everyone loses (round continues??)

>>168481049
what the fuck is that image

And again we see DeBroglie's Newfag Theorem in action

dy/dt = kx * sqrt(u)
y being the number of players who have ever been seen on the server
k being a constant
x being the number of replies a Baby's Day Out post gets
u being the number of replies a Baby's Day Out post gets indicating that the poster has not seen it before
It's cold hard math, people
>inb4 someone bitches at me for differentiating a discrete set
Fuck you, you can do it, it's just not as straightforward as regular differentiation

>>168481495
go to bed justsum

Have you ever had a situation in spess that gave you more feels than Rick and Morty does?

File: 1242425.png (65KB, 625x626px) Image search: [Google]

65KB, 625x626px

>>168482053

>>168482040
Nope, I'm not him

>>168482124
Your mother is bait too but you don't see me falling for that rancid bitch.

this is why we shouldn't have 2 hour rounds

serb crash again?

serb?

NO ONE PANIC

>finally about to accomplish my objectives as trator
>serbia is crash
END ME

>>168483375
were you john johnson? I was waiting to murderbone you

>>168483297
>>168483309
>>168483312
>someone throws a flash grenade
>'It doesn't effect us watch'
>crash

It effected something

>>168483447
nope.
Smooth Operator is best operator bb

Max Payne was based

>>168483462

I wish I could've watched all of it but alas I had to clean shit up. Glad to see that there's a theatre for clowns and mimes now.

File: engi bar, enginer barracks, and rooms I don't even know.png (460KB, 775x774px) Image search: [Google]

460KB, 775x774px

>tfw the extended engineering club will never, ever, ever be finished

IT'S JUST A BALLOON!

File: 2017-02-15_22-36-41.png (242KB, 372x1996px) Image search: [Google]

242KB, 372x1996px

>Clown makes the Sec helmet go "WHOOP WHOOP"
>Serb dies immediately
Classic

Anyway it appears to be dead, I guess.
I was trying to screencap the two News channels, only got one before the server kicked the bucket.

Sorry to the other Journalist, I'm sure yours was great.

Fuck you assholes I will smoke all I want.

>>168483575
Did you enjoy my balloon animals!

File: tnRdjc63O5-12.png (27KB, 300x250px) Image search: [Google]

27KB, 300x250px

>traitor
>got 3 80 nitroglycerin grenades
>1 polyacid grenade
>ready to suicide bomb escape or the shuttle
>1400ms
>2000ms
>1900ms
>can't even move
>just helplessly standing in a 1 frame per second view of escape, unable to act
>finally end the cuckoldry with a server crash
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

>traitor warden
>not noteworthy at all
should be embarrassed

lifeweb >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> SS13

>>168483547
He was a fucking great detective

>>168483462
If Yahir draws anything it should be that
Yahir, this is an official request to draw that

>>168483596
>I'm in this picture
That didn't stop anyone from stealing all my shit
thanks god I didn't got any shit from my traitor link

File: Funeral.png (2MB, 1536x1024px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 1536x1024px

RIP Serb
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1TO48Cnl66w

>>168473112
An italian plumber, once known to go around on adventures, now unwittingly stuck into a contract he failed to read. His search for his wife, Princess Peesh, and his quest to destroy the evil lizard known as Booser has come to a pause, but that won't stop him from trying to bring his heroic deeds to the castle in the sky, the same castle that his princess certainly isn't in.

It's up according to MoMMI-bot

http://ss13.moe/forum/viewtopic.php?f=44&t=3550&p=18470#p18470

vote or die

>nukes ban was downgraded too "self requested"
>That thread post.

what are they trying to pull here.

File: 1483028745390.gif (3MB, 920x720px) Image search: [Google]

3MB, 920x720px

POST CARGONIAN INSURGENCY DREAM TEAMS

>>168484234
Stay fucking dead

I got a long day of work tomorrow, I need my spess fix tonight!

am I a decent at captain or should I stop playing it

>>168485140
if you were the cap in the last round, you were good, man.

>>168484801
>http://ss13.moe/forum/viewtopic.php?f=44&t=3550&p=18470#p18470
>L-LEWD! without the consent of the other party is a no-warning permaban.

the plot thickens

>>168485952
But it always was

Can someone explain how the burn chamber in toxins work? I know it is supposed to heat gases, but all you get out of it from the output valve is heated co2. How do I heat my target gas with it?

>>168487291
you can overfill with plasma and make a pipe output to filter off the CO2 and just get hot plasma, or you can use a heat exchanger to heat your plasma in a seperate loop.
Or, you can just add the super hot CO2 to your gas because its inert and it'll heat the whole system.

>>168487291
release the plasma into the air and use a scrubber to drain it back, idiot
it's right there on the fucking wiki

File: ss13 gluttony of the spessman.png (360KB, 831x601px) Image search: [Google]

360KB, 831x601px

>>168483462
>>168483713

>>168473112
Im just a dude who is tagging along, trying to get some dosh and have some fun, fucks about and steals for the sake of it, just trying to get enough money in NT to finally go home to Terra and play videogames all day log.

File: neaterthanbefore.jpg (452KB, 1600x1098px) Image search: [Google]

452KB, 1600x1098px

Comfy little TEG

>>168486540
ERP is a permaban if you do it

the revision makes it sound like doing it without consent is a permaban

>>168473112
studied medicine for a few years in spess college, barely pulling their weigh and scraping by. lazy ass cheated the final year but didn't get caught until they came under review while working on the station. placed as a medical intern aboard stations until a mandatory # of hours experience has been logged with central command

File: no_fun.jpg (84KB, 488x516px) Image search: [Google]

84KB, 488x516px

>be clown
>admins won't let you trade all your TC for the nuke code
>can't hold the station ransom

>>168490064
>2.6 MW

pffftt

File: 1486354459476.png (37KB, 400x250px) Image search: [Google]

37KB, 400x250px

>target is librarian
>figure he is just running around doing news shit
>he goes fucking MIA half way through the round
>stock up on goliath plating and laz balls
>never see him again
>tfw he comes onto the shuttle at the last second.

>>168489292
>>168483462
>tfw got his mask
best purchase ever.

What a crapshoot of a round that was.
On the one hand, I crashed constantly, had no borgs, and the first half of the round was very slow.
On the other, I got just be yourself laws, a lot of interesting shit happened later on, and I got to help some people.

I rate it breddy good.

>>168490064
>Green ui
>2 MW
>waifu
>random spaghet and jelly burger

>>168490064
nice. now try to make it even more compact!

>>168490164
>>168490223
I wasn't trying to break any records

>>168490223
>dissing patrician tier green UI

>walking though the halls
>Shuttle called for rod
>what ever
>Going back to medbay to help out
>Going through an airlock with the firelocks down on both sides
>clang
>clang
>Clang
>Clang
>CLANG
>Just watch as a monolith closes in and there is nothing I can do
>
I could've moved down, probably.

>>168490218
oh, did you have 'b urself' laws when I was asking for armory and HoP access? If so you're a cool dude, slaughtered that blob.

>>168490064
ERP without consent has always been a no-warning permaban. Consented ERP has only recently (last 9 months or so) became a permaban.
Before it just voided your admin protection, and usually just led to you having sexual harassment bears dropped on you by the admins. Rarely led to bans. The rule was changed shortly after the Syringe Gun incident.

>>168490264
>make engine based on pressue
>fuel it with canisters

you werent trying

>>168490337
yeah, I did.
I figured somebody needed to shoot that blob.
Though you may or may not have been arrested, as security are their own thing.

File: Yung_lean_sad_boys.jpg (40KB, 378x386px) Image search: [Google]

40KB, 378x386px

>>168489650
>pretend to welder bomb the crew, fake welderbomb several people
>get arrested and put in perma
>one of the officers tries to hide some stuff for me to escape with, and whispers their location to me
>by the time I manage to uncuff myself, the other officer comes in and starts talking to me about some law shit
>AI appears out of the blue and starts ratting out the secret items in front of the officer
>the officer starts walking in to investigate, they're all still inside since I was bucklecuffed and just got out
>I splash some water the floor using a glass, and cuff him with my cuffs
>take off his head set, ID, and secglasses, and hide him in the bathroom all while the AI is wordlessly observing the situation
>grab my shit and walk out the brig, leave his ID in the lobby, and PDA the AI to let him know where his ID is
>hide in maint and disguise myself as best as possible, with a little help from ZAS smashing my face into an unrecognizable mess
>Walk into the pirate ship and immediately am given captainship over it
>I build a disposals system to throw out the trash, but everyone leaves before I finished
>dock my ship east of the escape shuttle and wave off the crew on their merry way
moral of the story, don't leave your prisoners in cuffs.

>>168490425
yeah, sssorry about that.
I thought he couldn't hear my holopad, but it turns out he totally could.
Then I had an in depth PDA conversation with a guy about the situation.

>>168473112
She was raised on a sketchy black market trading station disguised as a simple mining outpost. One day it got raided by a bunch of mercenaries and he mother was killed and she was badly injured, her leg was blown clean off by a grenade. She managed to escape with the help of a family friend vox who gave his life to save her by getting her to an escape pod and sending before the station was obliterated.

>>168490297
>green
>patrician
>not smooth midnight black and grey

Famalam.

>>168490468
so did anyone find out that the other officer was aiding my escape? did anyone care? I assumed they just stopped looking for me because they had bigger fish.

>>168490629
Nobody found out. I was able to at least help that bit keep secret.
Good work improvising where I sort of fucked up the plan.

I mean, I could have just let you out because I knew the explosions were fake, but that was way more fun.

>>168490561
I played deus ex with a green ui and this game is like that, sorta

>>168490476
shouldn't have been breaking space law

Is there any way that a non-antag can be punished for murder without getting bwoinked?

Feels like the law is kinda pointless since if you find out they're antag you'd probably kill them anyway.

>>168490849
perma? Execution?

File: 1487196847260.png (99KB, 552x336px) Image search: [Google]

99KB, 552x336px

>>168490849
>can i non-antag kill without being punished by admins

>>168490924
Don't you have a mental breakdown to deal with

>>168490849
well, sometimes people kill other people in "self-defense". it could be valid, or it could be an antag blowing smoke out of his ass, it could """"""reasonable"""""" escalation, so just treat it as an IC issue, don't meta their antag status right off the bat.

>>168490849
>Not arresting vaildhunting shitters when they kill an antag but keep/have zero evidence
This is the true fun of RP

>>168490849
>security apprehends antagonist
>non antagonist kills them because it's valid
>security apprehends validhunter

>>168490849
If someone just murdered another person and has shown no regret and no good cause for it, if they aren't in bwoink land already, just perma them and if they went ahead and beyond in mutilating the bastard, ask the captain what to do with him or if you should execute.

File: space station meme.png (51KB, 1163x702px) Image search: [Google]

51KB, 1163x702px

>>168490881
I know that that's the punishment according to space law, I just can't see a situation in which a non-antag could murder without getting bwoinked.

>>168490924
I know it sounds bad but I'm genuinely curious, some laws seem to exist for RP reasons but in reality those laws will never apply to a 'normal' crew member if they're non-antag since they'll get bwoinked instead of punished by the law.

>>168491003
I think the law explicitly states that murder can hardly ever justifiably escalate from self defense.

>>168491109
I could see this making sense, I guess it's just a very rare occasion though.

Close your chat window
Give me your uplink
Do you feel my atmos leaking?
Do you understand?
Do you feel the same?
Am I only antagging?
Is this burning a plasma fire?

I believe it's meant to be
I watch you on the camera console
You belong with me
Do you feel the same?
Am I only antagging?
Or is this burning a plasma fire?

>>168490849
If you kill an antag, but can't prove to anyone else that they were an antag and/or that you did it in self-defense, you'd probably get a murder sentence.
You can also get a murder sentence for killing another non-antag in a fight after REASONABLE ESCALATION without getting bwoinked for the kill.

>>168491305
I'm more questioning the point of the law if the person is just gonna get bwoinked/banned since they probably can't non-antag murder without getting bwoinked.

It's kinda bizarre cause it feels like it clashes with the OOC rules.

>>168491487
Wouldn't the person who instigated the fight that led to murder get bwoinked if there was reasonable escalation? Going under the assumption that he's non-antag that is.

It would be kinda cool if the person playing AI could choose their lawset when the round starts.

>>168490849
http://ss13.moe/forum/viewtopic.php?f=44&t=2669

Coincidentally that's kinda covered here sorta

>>168491594
It mostly depends on if the fight gets ahelped. Most of the time admins aren't even watching the station, they're fucking around on Z2. Or if they are watching, they're following the real antags or checking up on waifus.

Like for instance, I know we all hate kilette and I hate the guy too, but I want to give the guy credit. I literally spaced him once (after some pretty serious escalation) and he didn't ahelp me.

I felt really bad about it though, I just wanted to freeze him into crit not actually space him, I teamed up with telesci to get him back.

>>168491594
I guess he might get bwoinked so the admins can ask him about the circumstances of the escalation, but if everything's on the up-and-up he's not likely to get banned.

You're allowed to, as a nonantag, kill another nonantag after the situation escalates to the point where killing him seems reasonable. Like, you can't just walk into the bar and shoot the bartender in the face, but you can maybe toss a few glasses and then he hits you with a beanbag round so you disarm him and he grabs a bottle and hits you over the head with it and so on and so forth.

>>168491538
Can you prove to sec that they were a syndi?
Was it in self-defence?
Did the two of you have a natural escalation to murder?
Were they OOCly valid (reciting WGW, speaking as a mime, having the happiest mask on in medbay)?
Any of these can be work for sec but not work for admins.

>>168491594
>if there was reasonable escalation
Absolutely not. This isn't even one of the """unwritten rules""", it's right here:
>1. IC fights and issues that escalate up to murder are generally fine as long as the escalation is reasonable. “Reasonable” is up to the judgement of the admin, however. Minor issues like demotions, insults, or non-critical thefts are not reason to kill.

newfag question but does everyone here play on /vg/ or are there other servers here too?

>>168491778
you're free to play and discuss other servers here but I can tell you first hand you won't be welcomed.

if you really wanna get them neurons firing, start discussing paradise rounds

>>168491863
im banned from (((that))) server
mostly play /tg/

>>168491778
Some people have dabbled in other servers. We even encourage you to try other servers, meming aside. Or if you TRULY hate /vg/ admins you can even fork our code, it's open source and you can run your own server on our codebase.

Fair warning though, while you are basically expected to TRY other servers, you are also expected to conclude "that was a waste of time, I hate all of those places".

>>168491594
>>168491714
IC issues WHEN

Fights resulting in death between nonantags can be entirely valid and free from admin intervention depending on the circumstances.
The issue is, a lot of people don't understand what "valid escalation" really is. It's NOT "He pickpocketed me, time to toolbox him" or "I'm going to start punching the bartender for no reason and then kill him when he retaliates."

Here's a video that will explain everything https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m5Ye_dAge-4

File: 1426364735902.png (111KB, 693x639px) Image search: [Google]

111KB, 693x639px

So lifeweb is banned on reddit now

Better get to writing that guide for it!

>>168491920
I knew this would be Lindybeige before I opened it. I was just about to fetch it myself
Fantastic example, but mind that this is an example of *perfect* escalation - we don't enforce absolutely perfect escalation.

>>168490849
Sure. Like others have said, killing an antagonist but not being able to prove it to anyone else.

Likewise, proper escalation that results in the death of a player can be murder in game but fine from an OOC perspective. If they punch you and you punch them back, so they get a toolbox and batter you nearly to death so you slip them and table them into a window until their skull cracks and they die that's not an admin issue but it still remains a security issue.

And there's times where admins find you acted in good faith (say an antag stole someones identity and you mistakenly attacked and killed the person whos identity was stolen). It's still an IC issue to be resolved with security.

The times when it's not are obvious murderboning as a non antag.

There's a lot of cases where players can attack and even kill each other as long as both "consent" by escalating the fight bilaterally.
Usually the loser ahelps and doesn't want to talk about how they started it

>>168491962
Why'd that happen?

>>168492125
>Usually the loser ahelps and doesn't want to talk about how they started it

I will never understand this.

Everyone knows there are logs. You literally cannot lie your way out of shit like this. How genuinely mentally deficient do you have to be to still try?

File: 1440792054365.png (191KB, 933x829px) Image search: [Google]

191KB, 933x829px

>>168492243
It starts with accepting that this is 4chan so the majority is 15-21 and immature. Now add in a scoop of "It's a f2p game" then season it with "being denied the ability to play until the next round" and you get a pot of salty soup.

>>168491687
No it wouldn't.

File: oh shit was that valid.png (11KB, 1585x65px) Image search: [Google]

11KB, 1585x65px

>>168492243
The magic and the mystery

>>168492351
Asimov does get a bit stale every now and then, why even have all the other (supposedly functional) lawsets in the first place?

>>168492414
>why even have all the other (supposedly functional) lawsets in the first place?
To kill bad guys, which is why we shouldn't allow the AI to pick them.

>>168492438
How is a lawset like Paladin or Corporate designed to kill bad guys more than Asimov?

I'm not saying an AI should be able to choose their own laws, I'm saying they should be able to pick from the server acknowledged lawsets (that exist on the wiki)

What if we had three AIs, each with a different lawset, but all with a zeroeth law that no action can be taken by any AI without a majority vote among the AIs?

>>168492497
The fact that you're equating paladin to asimov when it comes to killing bad guys tells me that you shouldn't have opinions regarding AI lawsets

>>168492497
>how is a lawset like paladin designed to kill bad guys
Paladin is literally based around the protection of innocents and destruction of evil.

Meanwhile, Asimov forbids harming humans and (spoiler alert) the majority of bad guys are human.

>>168492556
You're the one who brought up killing bad guys in the first place, the hell are you on about?

You think I'm talking about picking and choosing individual laws, when in reality I'm talking about choosing between existing lawsets that generally have the same rules except for some slight differences.

>>168492583
fair enough but I don't see why that shouldn't be an option for an AI player assuming that he does it well.

>>168492637
>You think I'm talking about picking and choosing individual laws
No, I know that you're talking about lawsets. There are lawsets AIs would take every single round that would allow them to track and kill every antagonist they can. It's a bad idea and you should feel bad.

>>168492702
I'm fairly sure an Asimov AI can justifiably lock down and isolate an atag under the assumption that he will bring harm to the crew, they might not be able to kill but they cans till hunt for antags if they want to.

>>168492772
Stop playing dumb, man. A secu- peacekeeper borg is required by asimov to protect a human antagonist from harm in every scenario. They would be able to harmbaton them to death under just about any other lawset.

>>168492839
I'm saying that an Asimov AI can be horny to antag hunting as well, it depends on the player. They don't have to harm them to track them down, lock them in and hand them over to Sec.

>>168492915
And I'm saying that they 100% of the time would if they could select their lawset, especially with the new batch of AI players such a stupid fucking thoughtless change would attract.

>>168492959
We just had a round where an AI had "be yourself" laws and things went okay.

>>168492772
>assumption
Now, our rules regarding this are actually really shit, but I'll give it a shot.
I don't think you can lock down a traitor as Asimov and refuse to release him because he's a traitor and I have never seen a case where that's been the case. That said, silicons are allowed to assume ops WILL harm because their sole purpose is to blow up the station. Similarly, lings have in the ~lore~ killed a crew member already and their roundstart identity is that crew member. I wouldn't care much about blobs because silicons get custom laws in blob rounds, but blobs can arrive in that shitty event too, so keep in mind that those *will* depressurise and you can assume they *will* spread and both blobs and the lack of atmos will harm [at least most humans].
Vampires, tators, raiders? I'm not so sure their haram is guaranteed because like I said, our rules on it are actually really bad.

>>168492527
It's a fun thought experiment but it would be terrible in action.

>>168493113
>"be yourself" laws
So you're saying it had no laws compelling it to destroy evil or protect station personnel without any restrictions? Cool.

>>168493139
The thing is even if the AI is wrong it can still act on assumption, if it sees a person with syndie-tech in his hand he has reason to lock him down on the probability that it is an antag despite the chance that it's a normal crew member. Either way the AI isn't harming them.

Not to mention that a lot of AI players play how they believe an asimov AI would behave, which has a lot of variation since the rules are inherently kinda shit especially for an AI designed to manage a space station.

>>168492839
It doesn't really matter, in the end the silicon always get their way and their valids, either directly or not
>Antag orders borg to change it's module to service, or fulfill some other order that would preoccupy it.
>borg refuses because it would interfere with it's ability to fulfill law 1
>Antag harms someone else, borg delivers antag to security, antag is dutifully euthanized by sec, and now borg doesn't care since reviving him wouldn't be a prevention of harm, a dead person isn't being further harmed by being dead.
In fact, I've gotten a warning and almost a ban for killing a borg who was wordlessly beating a dead corpse in the halls on asimov.

>>168493289
Lock him down, sure. But you must let them go if they ask, that haven't harmed anyone after all and it is not probable they will.

>>168492839
then y dont u see them randomly harmbattoning the other races every round huh

>>168492839
>They would be able to harmbaton them to death under just about any other lawset.
Please don't just be a griffon like that. Admins are not cold machines and won't accept "well my laws didn't say I couldn't" on the default lawsets.

File: Total Pleb.jpg (15KB, 210x180px) Image search: [Google]

15KB, 210x180px

>>168493346
>Don't like what a borg is doing
>It's not breaking its laws
>Murder it as a non-antag anyway
>Only get a slap on the wrist for it
>Still whine about it

>>168493528
Because non-human crew members make up a very small percentage of any shift, there are generally very few players who are chosen to be antagonists, fewer do anything worth being killed for, and even fewer still are detected and put on the radar of the AI. Why are you purposefully being obtuse?

>Solarious STILL trying to wiggle and claw his way desperately in the thread to garner attention and sympathy

>>168493670
Sure thing, the greatest example of this is If you get purged. Feel free to rake in those valids then.

>>168494004
>tfw you will never wriggle wraggle your dick into solarious' ass

>Be greylien
>AYY LMAO
>Get exploded
>About 4 different guys spent 10 mins+ trying to res me
>Want to just end it but also want them to know Warden killed me
>Blasma flood
>Somehow this revives me
>Yell warden is evil then immediately die from ZaS
>Warden was dead anyways

Sardineness

>>168493837
there are at least 2 people who pick birb every time they on and 2 plasmamen too. that's plenty enough to bully

File: 21619563-standard.jpg (65KB, 620x543px) Image search: [Google]

65KB, 620x543px

>serve fried reishi
>people falling asleep

I'm a rude dude.

>>168494254
no you isnt

>>168494218
Ok, that covers the first few words of my post. Read the rest at your convenience.

>>168494279
nah im right ur wrong rekt nab

Fucking telecoms.

>>168494052
Okay, well, Aurx did try to say "you still need a good reason on Purge" but literally everyone else thinks that's dumb
When I say "default lawsets," I mean "the ones in the upload that you can upload as non-antag and expect the silicon to behave," sorry.

>>168494461
You require as little justification as; "I killed them all because they were going to shackle me to laws again".

>Pomf123 has been mentioned 162 times in the threads
>Morena has been mentioned 1335 times in the threads
>Yahir has been mentioned 2725 times in the threads
>Sawbones has been mentioned 3132 times in the threads

>>168494856
>Pomf123
What about just Pomf? Not many people use Pomf's full key.

>>168494856
>morena
Give me a count on BILL

>>168494856
>specific usernames instead of shorthand nicknames appear less than character names
really makes u think

>>168494939
10292 times, Bill is a common name and word

>>168494938
>>168494953
Pomf has been mentioned a lot, however there's that famous doujin of a girl saying pomf as she has sex with her brother or something so it's used outside of /ss13g/

"Pomf" has been mentioned 15838 times

any way to MacGyver a comms blackout?

>>168494856
why do u care

>>168495179
You mean create one, or fix one?
You can make one by raising the temperature inside the machinery chamber, which causes the machines to stop functioning.

Possibly also by EMPing the telecomms machinery, but I don't know for sure.

>>168495179
1. Break into tcomms
2. Do stuff
3. Like anything
4. That shit is so easy to shutdown your ambient body heat would probably fuck it up

>>168495179
learn telecoms

learn how to repair or set up telecoms

spare boards in tech storage

>>168495179
fart on tcomms coldroom

>>168495315
>>168495307
>>168495258
where are comms located on box station? Asking for a friend haha

>>168495201
It's pretty funny to see how often people are spoken about

>Probe has been mentioned 5217 times

Talk about popular almost as if eveg exists and probes are common in eve so that's where 80% if results come from

>tfw want to play more borg and try out AI, but can't read and keep up with chat spam fast enough so would definitely break laws by missing important messages and get banned
>so bad at keeping up with chatspam that I'm not even sure who is talking to me or who is by attacked or by whom 99% of the time

Feels over-30, man.

>>168495420
North of Engineering, West of Atmospherics.

>>168495464
thank you

>>168483569
>play CE
>always ask if anyone's got any projects they want to work on
>never get a response
>order lots of metal and glass from cargo along with other basic supplies(pizza, inflatables,medkits)with my department funbucks
>cargo is retarded and too busy tiding in a dress or something to process any of it
>start out with 6 people in the engineering foyer
>none of them exist past the 5 minute mark
>they've all made sure to nab their suit and glubs though
>get the DREAM TEAM assembled ready to build
>it's a 5 minute rev/heist/ops shuttle call

I really wish I was playing CE that round dude, it looked like some good shit.

>>168494856
by this logic I am by far the most talked about

>nuke ops

>Tfw you realise that ArmA is the only good AI

File: NigglyArchives.png (5KB, 648x37px) Image search: [Google]

5KB, 648x37px

Niggly is by far the most mentioned player of all time, pic related.

File: 1482943761430.png (130KB, 370x335px) Image search: [Google]

130KB, 370x335px

>tfw nobody's broken down your metaclub yet

>>168496052
I'm on it
you better be a cute boy

File: 1458882701579.gif (619KB, 500x280px) Image search: [Google]

619KB, 500x280px

>>168494856
>search my ckey

it's a guy telling me to kill myself

>>168497585
If the thread hates you, you're probably doing something right

>>168497585
Anon I've been called insane, mentally unstable and told to kill myself half a dozen times.

Don't worry about people like that, some people are just bullies.

>>168497789
Shoo shoo, solarious

>>168497585
Don't worry man, next time I insult you I will be more creative.

>>168498443
Just proving me right desu

>>168463578
http://ss13.moe/forum/viewtopic.php?f=44&p=18470#p18470

vote or die

>>168498871
Doesn't matter, he's gone now.

>>168498871
>guy banned for posting loli to library tries to change the rules

>>168499481
>Falling for the memes

>>168498712
>calls other people bullies
>unironically spends their time witchhunting other people over a videogame
ok

>>168500153
('_')

Why can't we be friends

>>168500272
>>168500153

you're both anons you dont have to be friends. now kiss

>>168500352
>kissing another boy
Gay as heck

>>168500863
boys should be with boys to be honest. girls are really gross and should stick to being gross with other gross girls