/ss13g/ - spessmen on a spess station

Hi i'm morena

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they were the raiders,
the treacherous vox
they didn't rock, i say
they were chicken pox!

they wanted to thief
all that the crew had obtained
they could have just left
but they gave us no say!

the first bird was nosy,
around space he slid
then came the miner shuttle
and the first bird was gibbed!

then all the birdies
with their magical ship
flew around space, but
didn't accomplish a bit!

the last bird was brave
but all on his own
he bust in the shuttle
but his face got blown!

and so they all failed
and at the end of the day
it's better to get a job
with Nanotrasen that pays!

repost for new thread yep yep shameless

>Agent ID as manifested captain
>Voice Changer/Obscured face
>Orders borg to do something

You do it. No questions asked.

I want Julia Brandt to digest me!

reposting for all your centcomm pissing off needs

Let me list the reasons why poo is funny:
- Most poo is brown. Relatable.
- Most poo comes out your ass. Relatable.
- Most people poo. Relatable.
- Poo is not expected in space. Quirky.
- Poo can be thrown. Slapstick.
- Most creatures poo. Relatable.

I hope these reasons are enough to make you see the real humor in poo.
Honestly I think there is simply not ENOUGH poo in our station.
Poo is an everyday aspect of life, and should be incorporated into everything to do with life accordingly.

Here are some things I think would be better with more poo:
- Meday (Sometimes people get constipated and can't shit.)
- Janitors (I highly doubt that as a janitor, they do not run into large amounts of poo on a daily basis.)
- Security. (They're already shit, may as well add it to the department.)
- Toxins. (We simply do not see enough real time poo bomb simulations.)
- Ghetto Bar (The adult nature of the area means that poo would fit nicely into the atmosphere.)
- Any rag cage. (Not enough mid-fight pitstop shits.)
- Any R&D research. (Your research does NOT have enough shit in it. 0/10.)
- The Captain (>Implying the captain has enough poo.)
- You (Doctors say that atleast two shits a day is healthy. Hit that bathroom.)
- Department Game Night (I always said that shit flinging was a family friendly sport.)
- Atmospherics (Our air should be ATLEAST 10% poo. The clown is making progress, but they need our help.)
- The chef menu. (Slider? More like Shitter.)
- The solar system. (Uranus is a good start though.)
- The universe. (If every quark of my being was shit, I would be happy.)
- Everything in general. (Poo is just fucking great, aint it?)
I hope these reasons are enough to convince you that poo is a great thing, and there should be more of it.

With shitty regards,
- (Name)

Protip:
To defeat the Creatine Demon, shoot at it until it dies.
The Creatine Demon cannot shoot back.

Feature request: preset /me's
This would improve roleplay while also triggering the No-RPers, so it's a win-win

>>159587253
Wouldn't that kill you?

>>159587927
Right click the menu bar while in-game, select Macros.
Someone posted a pastebin a while ago showing Angelite had a /me smiles macro that he had used about 2000 times.

>>159588164
>ight click the menu bar while in-game
Meant the title bar

>>159587549
Protip: if you are an NTDefault borg
and a manifested captain orders you to do something
you do it without hesitation

>>159588039
I'm gonna add to her plump thighs!

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>>159587253
I wanna have an eating competition with Chug, and then hit the bar afterward and compare our beer shits in the morning after I wake up wearing his pants

>>159588540
chug is for frinking only

>>159588540
I just wanna know Chug in real life. He's like the best friend you could ever have.

>>159588857
>i want to know someone in real life that pretends to be a fat drunk retard in a ancient videogame

>>159588517
but Julia is 5'6 and skinny...

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>>159588958
Yes.

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>>159589013
For now.

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>>159584820
>can't tell if I'm being baited or borg players really are this retarded
Oh, but they are! Most of them don't even know how to resist out of lockers.

Cyborgs are the game's First Order Optimal Strategy.
They give the most bang for your buck, provide you have only the minimum buck to give.

As a result, the new (or incompetent) valid lusters inevitably gravitate to borg..

>>159589213
She will never get fat! She cares too much about herself.

Tiny nets when?
>work similar to bolas, but handcuff as well as legcuff
>can only be thrown up to 2 tiles away
>metalsheet-sized

>>159589381
I'm gonna care for her tenderly and overfeed her until she can't leave me.

>>159589213
Julia is 5'6 and 312 anon. Fix this sprite, why do you think she's always hiding in the back of medbay eating the spare pizza and stealing donuts at the start of every round?

>>159589213
I want to feed Julia mice until she's so full she can't move!

>>159589828
Julia eats mice!

>>159589891
I'm gonna build a shrink ray and let her EAT ME or find someone willing to take her name and appearance and do the same!

I bet Bill did this.

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Mediborg deployable surgery table when?

>A surgery table deploys from WILD-RIDE and anchors to the floor!

The things you find while log diving :^)

Hair dye was just merged, you can find it inside standard costume crates is you want to run around coloring everyone's hair.

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>tfw julia will never come up to the kitchen and hand them a bottle of clonex and blood begging for them to make her burgers
>tfw you will never see her then proceed to waddle into the bar and sit on a chair making it creak as she waits excitedly for her 30 burger meal
>tfw she won't guilt you into rubbing her fat stomach after he meal to make her feel better after stuffing herself

Why even live senpai?

>>159589828
Nuhuh! 120lb at max!
>>159589820
Gross!
>>159589891
>>159589992
Not true! Mice are friends, not food!

>>159590187
what'd you find baby

>>159590241
>>159589992
>>159589891
>>159589828
Mods will ban you for this by the way. They'll say it's irrelevant to video games.

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>>159590351
My obese waifu julia is video games though! I want to feed her cake till she can't move

>>159590351
It is relevant to the game in that it is something you can do in the game with a character from it

>>159590179
You can already pack up the medical gurneys and they work 100% as well as a surgical table. Combine with a surgical switch tool and YOU TOO can do surgery on the go as a paramedic. Not that you ever will.

Not even once.

>the atmos flamethrower at the end

Teach me your secrets.

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>>159586957
How do I have fun as QM?

>it's a "second roboticist" round
>he's actually really good

>>159591112
Consider yourself the ghetto captain of the ghetto station (cargonia) and make your department capable of doing everyone else's jobs because fuck them cargo is stronk

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>>159591131
wow, this flagrant meta OOC IC is pretty lame sawbones

>>159590687
I've done so many surgeries now that i'll only bother doing them on-the-go as ghetto surgery with tools on a dirty table. It's a bit different.

I wish I still enjoyed being part of the wild ride.

>>159590349
Yahir gets arrested for shittery. Metafriends Mai Pai and Surfer Girl harass his arresting officer. Surfer then gave Yahir a head role, and became a prisoner. Serwind was told, and didn't care, instead making simple jokes.

>>159591668
god bless the autistic community we harbor

>>159591471
>Vox Trader
>Syndie Agent breaks out of perma with his friend's help but he got fucked up earlier somehow
>Dragged him back to my base and into the O2 area, mixed up tricord from my medivend and healed him up enough to wake up
>He complains that he has a broken leg and can't stand
>We can autolathe print most of the tools, use a wrench in place of bone gel
>Patch up syndie, give him clothes from the mining locker and set him back loose on the station

Birb medicine

>>159591668
honestly anybody who gains a friend from this game should be banned

>>159591668
Banrequest it. Yahirs autistic faggotry has been put up with for too long.

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Suck-You-Busgamemode fucking when?

>>159591769
isn't it great?
admins above reproach, and they'll make sure to defend their 'friends' that they play games with outside of space whenever they are in trouble.

>>159591872
Did you at least get an emag or something as payment?
Either way, that was very nice of you

>>159591950
Just go to medbay and talk up the girls there, most of them will follow you to dorms if asked

>>159592007
I was actually a syndie too by random coincidence and just decided to heal him up so that he would cause some more havoc on the station. The extra confusion would give me cover to go lift the CE uniform later.

>>159590251
I WILL FEED YOU LIVE MICE AND YOU WILL LIKE IT.

>>159591950
>You are the Succubus!
Objective 1: Get hugged 48 times.
Objective 2: Suck the life-essence from Greyshit McGlubs.
Objective 3: Kill (female crewmember).

You are a space-succubus. Your powers increase by a small amount through physical contact with other lifeforms, but targeting the mouth of a human lying down with help intent active will allow you to kiss them and begin draining their essence!

Draining the essence of another lifeform will turn them into a shambling husk - a living, player-controlled husked form that must attack on sight. Powerful succubi can spend their power to transform a shambling husk into another succubi, enslaved to their will!

Succubi receive brute damage upon coming into contact with holy water, and quickly regenerate health whilst in the dorms.

>>159592684
;Okay all greyshits to the dorms, it's confirmed succubus round so we're going to kick all of you and anyone who recovers quickly is getting spaced

>>159592828
;Okay it's confirmed vamp, all crewmembers to the chapel, if you dont turn up and you're on the manifest you're getting spaced

pomf if I beat your Jay Bauman looking ass in a texas cage match will you let someone port rollable sleeves

>>159592946
reminder that termedclepe literally tried to pull this off during mid RP week

>>159592684
Honestly I think it wouldn't be too hard to mod changelings into succubi. Would go well in servers like eros/vore. The mechanic is pretty much the same anyway: aggro grab someone, they're dragged under you, except instead of penetrating them with your proboscis it's the other way around. I guess it would be mostly text changes and making the abilities more like vampires'.

I bet I can map Snow Station quicker than Celt.

>>159594274
>>159594274 WHEN
>>159594274 YOU
>>159594274 CODE
>>159594274 IT
>>159594274

>>159594274
can you fix 100 bugs quicker than him?

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What's your favorite thing to do after SMELELELELELE?

>>159594359
I could learn how Byond code works, learn how to fix bugs, and then fix 100 bugs in the time it takes him to do another 3.

>>159594607
Kill things with a mech

>three fuckers teleport in
>front door gets fucking nuked

What was that bullshit

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thanks for trying to saving me medbay

>>159594607
Go ghost and alt-tab to catch up on world news and change my music, or go for a short walk and get coffee and a joint

>>159594607
Wonder why we haven't been fired yet

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>>159595618
>Joint

Weed is unironically a shit drug. Why even waste the money.

What did the ERT do? I was in my office the entire time.

>>159595593
Did you not get healed up

>>159595705
ERT tried to go on station but since the console to the ert ferry is admin only i couldnt send it. I tried to ask the admins but to no avail

>>159595727
I was pretty fucked up and spent most of that round in medbay, by the time I was healed up the borgs were tearing up medbay and killed the surgeon that patched me up. Bailed into disposals and then SMELELELE

>>159595790
all you had to do was leave the lab

>>159595672
not him but what the fuck do you think we are here? you think a space loser can afford to snort a line after every round?

Every two months I log into a mine craft server. I dump all my problems onto one person who is kind enough to listen. They end up being robots though ,who say the same "comforting" thing over and over. Then I insult them a ton and they block me.

Sometimes it's irc servers. I worry one day I'll do it here.. I wish I could stop but I have No one to show emotion to in my real life.

>>159595790
I tried my goddamn best
chemists can only do so much when they're floating in space

>>159595863
Even a 2nd coffee is better than weed.

Weed is fun for maybe the first 15 minutes of being high, and then its utter shit, you spend the rest of the time wishing you had a functioning body.

>>159595785
>>159595705
Every time I went to send it a new ERT member signed up and I went to brief them.

Also, you should be able to place a table under your fax machine by just using table parts on the same tile no?

>>159595593
It was a damn long surgery.

Coding a big change isn't very rewarding. It can take hours or even several days of coding to make something substantial.

>>159595953
Nope, you can only place tables on tiles you're standing on, and you can't stand on the same table as the fax machine.

>>159595953
>>159596042
Alt click the table so you can see the tile under it

Then click the tile while you have a pull on the fax

This will place the fax on the table

You're welcome

>>159592684
But what powers would they get? I imagine it would be a mix between ling and vamps with a dab of cult.
>inscribing runes with the "life essence of crewmen"
>can turn others of the same gender into lesser succubi
>thermal vision at the cost of expending stored essence
>can fucking fly

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>>159595672
Well it's not for everyone, I can totally understand that...sorta depends what you're trying to get out of it. What's your experience with it been like?

It relaxes me, enhances music and visuals and no homo helps me RP better get more in character, sometimes brings me joy. I've done some hallucinogens but you don't just do those on a whim, whereas a jay can be good wherever whenever if you have free time. Makes watching space documentaries fucking amazing

>>159595942
You must have gotten some really shitty brickweed or smoked a strain different than the effects you were looking for; getting burnt out goes hand in hand with shitty weed. Im from Canada and I've been getting medicinal grade stuff of my preferred strain (hybrid) for a while now

I keep my drug use between myself and my close friends; I absolutely fucking detest potheads that base their entire social/hobby life around weed

>>159596226
Gotta have something similar to thrall

>Tfw really enjoy this game, but am constantly bewildered at the proper response/preparations for bad situations.
I'm not talking about looking for a fight or anything, more like what I should be focusing on.

So far all I really know is blob, which is gang up on it with all the lasers, welders, and emitters you can muster.

>>159596249
LSD is probably the best drug I've ever tried.

>>159596372
blob and xeno are the only two you can really prepare for. for xenos just fucking stockpile guns and WEAR A HELMET OR MASK

everything else is mostly for security to deal with.

>>159596226
>flight
>in the tight corridors of a space station
>flying in space where there is no air push around to achieve movement

>>>159591950 extremely unergonomic squat
Is it your goal to wreck your feet and legs?
Because that's how you wreck your feet and legs.

>>159596372
For most antags, a chloral syringe is your best bet

Guns are mostly effective on a ling if you can pick it out, but you have to finish the job by cutting off its head with something like a cleaver or axe -- or incinerate it at the crematorium, gib it at the kitchen, etc.

Vamps are a massive fucking pain to kill because they have a ton of free abilities and escapes. A good vamp can sax the entire crew **even if they are actively chasing him**. Just arm fucking everyone. Security should bring earmuffs if possible to cancel out screech, but you can't block eyeflash even with sunglasses.

Wizards, it mostly depends on which spell they have. The most important thing to remember is that if people start losing control of their ability to walk, you need to get chemistry to shit out a fuckton of ethylredoxazone 1u pills which cure it. Subjugate is massively annoying.

In case of mutate wizard or creatine traitor, you need chloral. In fact, most wizard situations call for chloral.

>>159596819
>chloraling a hulk
ha
hahaha
HA
okay buddy

>>159596226
>>159592684
Fund it

>>159594054
Just because it's a succubus doesn't mean it has to be maximum ERP. Just think of it like a friendlier vampire that drains the soul rather than blood

>>159596372
>Your co-workers are disappearing
Be guarded and don't trust strangers. Maybe they're afk. Maybe a changeling has killed them.
>People are screaming bloody murder about the bloody murderer in the halls
Make a weapon out of anything you can, preferably with some kind of slippery sidekick like a bucket of water or stun gloves. Every spessman for himself.
>Ayys/Blob
Just report to the HoP desk for your all access card and walk to cargo for your gun. Shoot the same direction as everyone else. Don't shoot others. If someone is in the way wait. He will move eventually and you will be able to shoot. If there are too many somebodies move somewhere else. There's probably a blobberific room with one poor engineer trying to weld it away that wants help.
>Meteors, Rods, and Other Calamities
Use maintenance if you have access otherwise try your best not to depressurize further rooms while escaping. A contained problem almost instantly becomes a station wide problem because people run with disregard to their own and others safety when opening airlocks and venting the air in safe rooms to depressurized areas.
>Virus
Medbay. Tell them you are sick and describe it. Wait there until you are cured. Do not leave. Sometimes viruses last 30 minutes because some chucklefuck leaves and infects a guy who goes braindead before symptoms manifest, then a radiation belt hits and the virus mutates and jesus christ everyones getting sick with the new virus the clown just exploded while holding a rubber duck I think its gibbingtons call the shuttle.
>Nuke Ops
Run. Fight. Do whatever you want just stay out of securities way and don't pinch their hardsuits. If security doesn't exist pinch their hardsuits and a fire extinguisher. Space yourself and hope you wind up on the Asteroid or Derelict. This is your new home.
>Raiders
Watch as they feebly try to trade, get half heartedly kidnapped and watch again as security slaughters them.

>>159596819 Everybody and their estranged aunt are always full of Anti-Tox.

>>159597147
>just because it's a succubus
>doesn't mean erotic roleplay will come into it
>s u c c u b u s
>n o e r p

>>159596372
>Cult
Head to security for an implant. Panic. Die. Get resurrected as a fucking construct. Die to security. Avoid anyone that wants to form a book club or sex cabal.

>Wizard
Just stay out of their way. If you have a ballistic weapon feel free to shoot at them and accidentally maim the chef. But mostly Wizards want to create chaos so everyones busy running amok. If you stay out of their way then they probably will be too busy firing eye-lasers at security to pick on you in particular. Do this by running the fuck away.

>Shit I forgot
Keep calm. PDA someone that has a gun explaining what's going on. Hide. Go to Medbay since there will likely be people there and you're less of an easy target. Go get a gun. Drink in the bar. Drink in the library. Pray. Pretend to pray while drinking in the Chapel. Get your liver replaced in medbay.

>>159597203
>If there are too many somebodies move somewhere else
You will almost always make more progress killing blob if you go somewhere its attention is not and start chipping away at it.

While the blob is focused on killing the big mass of people, you can sneak around back and take out a crucial resource node. Make yourself MVP instantly.

>>159597232
That's just a flat-out lie, Anon
I've gone in hypospray chloraling sprees and nobody ever has antitox in them

>>159597203
>Make a weapon out of anything you can
If you plan on lingering in one general area, retreating through a door trap is pretty much guaranteed to work.

>>Virus
>Medbay.
You're really better of curing yourself.

>>159597438
>Head to security for an implant.
>not already being implanted
You can ask for one at any arrest to get 5 minutes off your sentence.

>>159597646
>>>Virus
>>Medbay.
>You're really better of curing yourself.
no you fucking cunt, you GET YOUR ASS TO MEDBAY and at the very least get some spaceacillin.
DON'T FORGET THAT SPACEACILLIN EXISTS AND IT'S RETARDEDLY GOOD

>>159597438
>Head to security for an implant.
No thanks I'd rather join the club if they catch me than have them murder me when they see the conversion doesn't work.

Well, that as an interesting first-in-a-while game. Barely figured out how to geneticist again and managed to find xray
too bad the round was already over by then, shit went down quickly

>>159597728
You don't cure it in *in yourself*, that usually kills you.
But it's significantly faster than the virology machines.

>>159596372
Ask yourself what the station really needs. Sometimes it's not a bad idea to leave the robusting to the validhunters. If there are suddenly a lot of people dying, help out in medbay. If something like a wizard starts thrashing the place, repair the breaches.

As for preparing, get yourself some stungloves or prod and cable cuffs ready as soon as fights or antags are announced on the radio. Those should fend off the most basic attacks. And whatever tools your department has to offer, be creative.

>tfw malf AI interrupted my attempts to get Sawbones investigated for being a non-human captain last round
Damn, I wanted to get an NT guy to come over from Centcom to spice things up a bit. Oh well.

>>159598151
>tabling your plans because of antags
Unless your Sec, just keep doing whatever.

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>set up enough trade goods to last a century, my efficiency is through the roof
>shuttle call 20 minutes into the round because lol plasmaflood at roundstart & bombs & murderboning clowns
>miserable
>at least the... ghosts are keeping me company?
>clown smashes in and flashbangs me to death and ruins my shop with ZAS and then beheads me because the murderbone was fat
...

>>159596372
have to go with >>159598106
There are a lot of validhunters already, and most of the time the best answer to "what can I do" is "your assigned job", even if it looks like you're not doing much.

For example, today in the bleb, R&D had not developed energy weapons, so the people who broke in R&D started printing machine guns. Only to realize that they couldn't print bullets because the miners had not brought any silver. And cargo was already overtaken so no way to order them.

If you were a miner in that round, simply doing your best to smelt silver and bring it to R&D would have made a difference.

>borgs/ai not malf
>ignoring law 2
ebin

>>159598728
How about you try forming proper sentences instead of just yelling "AI LAW 2" and hoping it guesses what you want?

>>159598629
I was IAA, I felt like I was responsible for getting help from Centcom, so I had to cease the investigation and start faxing them to get an ERT going.

>Put bombs all around the station
>Leave one in toxins, to cover my tracks, set to go off with proxy trigger
>Plant 2 bombs in arrivals escape shuttles
>Bomb in toxins goes off.
>Get killed before planting the other 3
>only one bomb gets to go off.

Sad Day.

>>159596647
It's demon magic. I ain't gotta explain shit.

>>159598958
>tator roboticist
>want to try something than emagging all the borgs
>start making some ed-209s to emag for chaos
>no security officers
>pda a borg, doesnt come
>try talking to the AI on his private channel
>no response
>try requesting ai prescence in brig
>no response
>HoP arrives
>go ask him for some taser/vest/helmet or sec access since we have no force
>basically tells me "yeah ill send some over"
>5 minutes later, doesn't
>nothing
>walk back to HoP office
>try to convince him
>suddenly plasmaflood
>eventually get healed up, blind because my eyes burned out
>left in medbay
I know your pain

>>159599256
>blind because my eyes burned out
literally 10u of imidazoline
ask a chemist or break in and make it yourself
blindness sucks and you NO LONGER NEED TO HAVE IT

>>159599415
it was 2 minutes to shuttle call, I think there were 2 people in medbay, I don't know, I couldn't see

>>159599256

Sorry about not responding. HOS was having me hunt down a tatortot. Then toxins went to hell.

>>159599256
Literally the moment you left my queue all the shit went down, I never got a chance to get you the parts before it all went to shit. Also you left your ID behind when you ran.

>>159598879
You could have build a second fax machine to send the Sawbones fax.
That takes significantly less time than waiting through the cooldown.

>>159598630
>at least the... ghosts are keeping me company?
A l w a y s G r o w D i o n a

>>159600130
I kind of gave up after the plasmaflood

usually ends in a shuttle call anyway

byond://70.106.202.233:65432

Celt has snowmaps in their final stage up, come and test it out.

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>>159600838
>grew a batch of 12 dionas at once
>all of them were braindead

>>159600978
Gib proof, not joining a serb link at random anon

>>159601126
>>159600978
I'm waiting on code compile, I'll check it out

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>>159597296
Is kissing too erotic for you anon?

>>159601261
>>159601126
Okay it's just Taxi but with snow tiles outside instead of space

Literally nothing

>>159600978
IT'S NOT FINAL IT'S NOT EVEN READY TO MERGE FUCK OFF CARSH
t. celt

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>>159601408
Public test on the main server WHEN

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THE BADDY PADDY STRIKES YET AGAIN

>>159601405
Sorry that was carsh, he's shitposting again. It'll be merged and ready tommorow.

t. Real celt.

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>>159601408
Oh god please be soon

>>159601408
Is that supposed to be fencing?

You know we have ACTUAL fences now, right?

>>159599256
>want to try something than emagging all the borgs
Give all the greytiders Ripleys.
Build a bunch of AIs with conflicting lawsets.
Put nanites into random people.
Leave synthetic flashes lying everywhere.
Debrain the whole Morgue without making borgs.
Blow helpful borgs during crises.
Build and emags dozens of floorbots and cleanbots.
Adjust the safety and speed of every door you see.
Steal surgery patients, then borg them.

>>159601736
It's literally old taxi - I've removed those since, justsumguy is running an outdated branch

>>159601751
>Build and emags dozens of floorbots and cleanbots.
Didn't know they were emagg-able, since wiki only mentioned beepsky/ed209 as far as emags go

How are you supposed to blow borgs without RD access?

>>159601408
Is that an arctic planet station?

Lost Planet mode when.

Let people be licensed hunters and band together hunting huge ayyyylium bugs full of rare regents and minerals when butchered.

>when I code it

>>159602381
>traitor
>access

>>159600978

>/vg/station has never done snowmaps


Speaking of which, when are we going to do snow map again? It's almost Christmas...

>>159602530
I get your point, but emagging into the RD office seems like a dead giveaway

>>159602581
It'll be merged in tommorow.

t. Patty O'Celt

>>159602381
>Didn't know they were emagg-able
Floorbots will make space tiles and cleanbots will lube everything.
Pretty nice synergy between those two.

>How are you supposed to blow borgs without RD access?
Hack your way in or build your own console (you have the tools).
You can use the console itself with just robotics access.

What do wooden limbs do?

>>159602970 Almost nothing.

>>159602970
Be comically shit.

>>159602970
Make you slow as shit and unable to do certain things, such as wearing shoes

>>159602970
Entitle you to a free entre at several resteraunts on talk like a pirate day.

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>>159602394
>Lost Planet mode when.
Soon™

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>>159602970
The hooks on wooden hands are cool! COOL!!

>>159602719
Emags are the most cost effective traitor item, but frankly they're a crutch.
Unless you're in a pinch or doing a gimmick, you should just sit on your TCs.

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Begorrah!
Let me explain what just happened, and why you're all so upset. What just happened was Carshalash thought it would be funny to take my bleeding edge version and play it despite not having bug fixed it. The revision behind was much more stable, although obviously it has much less features. So yes, although you got to play on the feature rich version it was much less stable.

If you have any questions be sure to ask and I'll respond.

>>159603484
Why am I so bald? Why are you so piglike?

>>159603484
How many bugfixes to you expect to have by your deadline?

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>>159603758
I may not be on track 100% for 100 bug fixes, expect to get around 40 or so by December 31st.

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>>159603856
>Celt isn't going to finish his bugfixes
Wowee, who could have expected this surprising turn of events?

>>159604016
Truly he was the hero we all deserved

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>around 40 or so
so maybe like 4?

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>>159604016
Would you prefer 100 shoddily fixed bugs, or 40 high quality fixes?

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>>159603856

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>>159604127
Explain this

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>>159604228

>>159604127 It take something like 15-20 minutes to fix most minor bugs.
You could crank that shit out in 34 hours, including coffee and food breaks.

>>159604127
I'd prefer that you do what you said you were going to do, you fucking leprechaun.

>>159604242 Silicons a best gas Vox.

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>>159604242
Carsh self requested them. He said the weight of not spending enough time with his girlfriend was weighing too heavily upon him, so he wants to take a break.

>>159604228
"It's a hitpiece"

>>159604262
I'll code how I code, you back off lad.

>>159604328
Fuck off, A*glo

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>>159603856
SAWBONES WAS RIGHT

>>159604427
Why all the jobbans though instead of just a server ban?

>>159604526
He doesn't even have all the job bans.

>>159604526
He's gonna carry that weight.

>>159604427
>carsh
>has a girlfriend
yeah ok

>>159604427
Celt why do all nationalist movements sell out and turn leftie

>>159603856
>>159604127
Why bother setting such lofty goals for yourself if you're just going to fuck it up?
You didn't HAVE to promise to fix 100 bugs by the end of the year.

But now that you did, the fact that you're going to fuck it up just makes you look like an asshole who can't keep his word.

>>159604242
Chef
Mechanic
Trader
Silicon
MoMMI
AI

>>159604739
>look like
He IS an asshole who can't keep his word

I know you've missed me guys but I'll be back soon!
Unemployment is a few days away

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>>159604739
>>159604328
>>159604079
>>159604016
>>159604738
>>159604863

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>>159604738
Because Socialists are an inherent plaque upon the world

>>159604739
>>159604863
I'm not even Celt, as far as I know he's still on track to 100

>>159604738
Political machines are the most effect way to sway the opinions of large groups.

>>159604758
>Mechanic
The have that.
>Silicon
*Cyborg

Also:
pAI
Dionaea
Syndicate
Cultist
Nuke Operative
Vox Raider

Can you jobban Ghost?

>>159604732
Metaclub has photographic proof senpai.

>>159605113
>still on track to 100
He has FOUR

>>159605146
Post it

>>159605171
>he has FOUR
Still got a month to do 96!

I'll probably leave it to the last two weeks - snow map is my priority right now

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>>159605265
>violation of global rules 4, 6, and 7.

>>159605265
Should have joined the discord club.

>tfw you will never be Julia's boss and get her to call you daddy
Why even be CMO desu

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contratulations Ivan Warren & co.

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>>159605865

>>159605146
o-oh wow, he showed you a picture of something!
proof confirmed!

the one time I try to use the singulo beacon, and it pays off

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>>159605865
Cargo was a mistake

>>159605969
How is photographic evidence of me being with her not proof nigga?

>>159606316
Carsh, fuck off, you're a faggot and we don't want your retarded discord shittery in the thread

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Somebody set us up the bomb.

>>159606409
>I WILL BLOW UP THE WHOLE STATION
>blows up his own department
Hillarious.

wait did the plasma flood the entire station?

>>159605856
BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL

damn, it took awhile but flooding the station and releasing singulo. thats a new best for me

Quick, what's a cryptid-type monster that lives and hunts only in darkness?

>>159606604
Dwarves.

>>159606604
Grue?

>>159606604
Yred?

>>159606604
What about grues?

>>159606604
Grue

>>159606717
>>159606728
>>159606756
Grue it is, then. Thanks.

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>>159606604
A sniveling New York Liberal

>>159606604
The mothman?

>>159606604
The fuck does a Wumpus look like anyways?

>>159606776
What's wrong with dwarves?
Those fuckers turn to stone all the time in germanic myth.

>>159606863
>What's wrong with dwarves?
Because "dwarf" evokes more an image of a stout humanoid, not necessarily a monster.

I was looking for something that you think of as a monster with teeth and claws that'll fuck you up if it catches you in the dark.

That round was too fun.
>chug becoming "captain" and fucking around with the clown and nuke disk on a janicart
>cargo nuked Hank Hill style
Good shit

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>>159606945
that sure sounds like a dorf

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>>159607015
Dwarves are fucking terrifying

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>>159607073
Truly the most barbaric race

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>>159607176

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>>159607176
Sometimes they go past the point of barbaric and become feral
Feral snow dwarves, with an even more twisted idea of !!fun!! than before

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>>159607235

Coder discord here
https://discord.gg/fE3Ts8A

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>>159607324
At least they recognize what being a librarian is all about

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>>159607562
And at least they're better than humans.

>>159607001
What happens if Chug becomes the real captain one day?

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>>159607675
>tfw running into a naked dwarf living in a cave shitposting

Why are you shitposting in ss13 general

you know this isnt dwarf general right

>>159608357
>shitposting
You must be new here.

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>>159608357
It is more than one person posting dwarf and I didn't start it

>>159608357
/dfg/ and /ss13g/ are essentially the same places
you can't dispute this

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>>159607819

>>159608357
Ignore this massive fucking homo mongoloid elf special child, post more dorfs

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>>159608716
it was inevitable

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So is Celt a strong independent coder who needs no timelines like Toady the great?

Lets get back to the important issues at hand.
Titty and ass sliders when?

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GIVE ME THE NUKE DISK, CAPTAIN

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>>159608958
>dwarf fortress
>dwarf fortress fun
>dwarf fortress no graphics

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>>159609547
>Space Station 13 only on Level 3

What's Sybil, what's Bagil?
yet more servers?

>>159609706 Depth is social acceptability and time investment.
MUDs are basically chatrooms, and our learning curve isn't steep.

>>159609706
It should be 4 at the most, everything beyond that is Saint territory.

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>>159609547
>tfw level 4
I am thinking about picking up Shenzhen I/O or TIS-100 though which would bump me up to 5.

>>159609819
>and our learning curve isn't steep.
when normies come into the server and singuloose

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>>159609871
TIS-100 might be the best puzzle game I've ever played.

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>>159609871
Pick up both of them, they're great

Hello I'm Emilia
Who should I banbait next

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>>159609871

>>159610817
Reica and/or Lisa Tovir if hey aren't already banned

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>>159610898
>7 nodes

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>>159611024
Be nice, I'm not the optimization guy

>>159610817
Kill yourself

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>>159610898
>>159610812
>>159610271
>>159611086
>tfw I might be spending my free time from programming homework doing programming games

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>>159611086
>7 nodes

>>159605856
http://pastebin.com/vhe4xYfh
but why would you

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>>159611191
It is a good pain.

To the CE that showed me how to make a railgun, thanks! I tried looking it up on wikis, but google didn't bring any results.

>>159610817
Hyun

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>>159611086
No wait, that's 8 nodes.

>>159611684
he already sperged out and banned himself

>>159611582
Adding "site:ss13.moe" to the search constrains it to the relevant wiki.
You can also dig through https://github.com/d3athrow/vgstation13

>>159611771
Show me your solutions, then

>>159610817
yourself noone likes you :)

This is the song that doesn't end.

>>159611684
> deadpoolj banned for welderbombing
one less angry autist

Why are there so many implausibly stupid virus effects?
I mean fuck, how does a virus make you GROW CLOTHES
Most of them aren't even interesting or fun

What's the trick to making a good burn mixture that doesn't catch fire inside pipes and canisters? I tried cooking plasma and oxygen to make a better flame thrower but as soon as they mixed in their container they changed to plasma and carbon dioxide.

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>tfw going to bed to your qt trap gf camming for you after a nice and fun game of SS13

>>159612170 https://youtu.be/xJIGo1tL9yA

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>>159612286
>tfw your gf makes you miserable.

>>159612251
Keep the plasma and oxygen separate dumbass

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>>159612246

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>>159612286
>>159612418
>tfw foreveralone

>>159612547
>tfw found my irl waifu through spess

>>159612418
As long as you have those special moments that make it worth it, keep going. I've gone through emotional hell for her, and I don't regret a second of it.

>>159611385
Damaged goods are fun goods

>>159612246
The game's first virus turned people into monkeys.

>>159612812
don't stick your dick in crazy
or in BILL

>>159611385
>[03:10:15]ADMIN: DeadPoolJ/(Hyun Ae) : yell at me over byond if patrick and julia get too loewd
>telling someone else to admin for you
Is this where the valkyrie meme came from?

>>159612423
I did. I'd mix them in the little orange canister you plug into the flame thrower and they'd still turn into plasma and CO2.

>>159612920
I like to live on the edge, and normies won't eat me as a giant Tarantula drider Lady in an autistic atmospheric simulator

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>>159612627
One of my classmates met his wife through WoW or something and mentions it all the time. Maybe my waifu is also out there drifting through spess.
>tfw I have maybe 4 hours of spess a week during midnight burger hours to find her

shit the general was at its best when everyone was talking about something other then spess

Is there someplace i should go to make a suggestion to improve the game?

>>159613740
github - just know that since you don't even know where to suggest how to make game changes that you're probably too new to actually know what would 'improve' the game

>>159611385
>I'm a good girl!
No you're not, you're a faggot hipster named Bill

>>159612169
Sec likes me

>>159613784
>you're probably too new to actually know what would 'improve' the game
Quite on the contrary.

I was going to suggest that the time required to play silicons should be greatly extended, they are way too hard for a new player to handle properly.

Is this idea retarded?

>>159611861
Oh sweet, thanks for the filter. Wouldn't you know the recipe list that actually had useful info on it came up.

I wouldn't know where to start with that github stuff though.

>>159613874
>time required to play silicons should be greatly extended
Good idea but:
>want to become the most robust robit
>roll assistant
>"roboticist you nigger borg me"
>if he doesn't comply, break into his shit and make a mess of everything until he does

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CUTE
CUUUUUUTE
I LOVE RAIL
CUUUUUUUUUUTE BIRD
I LOVE YOU RAIIIIIL!

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>tfw my waifu is back and I got to play with her.

>>159614130
requesting that "I'm tough stuff" vox meme

>>159614051
>if he doesn't comply, break into his shit and make a mess of everything until he does
>Call security
>greyshirt is stunned, handcuffed and arrested.

Also, it could prevent new players from getting borged at all, which would stop this situation.

I am just saying, I started playing a few weeks ago, soon got to play as borgs, made a lot of mistakes and got a lot of complaints noted about me, now I get job banned for whatever mistake I commit.

It would have been better if I was not allowed to lay borg at all until I had something like 3 months of game experience? Probrably more for AI.

>>159614216
It's a good idea, as the few times I've been borg'd by an antag I had literally no idea what I was supposed to do. I can only imagine it's worse for non-antag borgs

>>159614163

who?

>>159614391
>not keeping your waifu all to yourself
What are you, some kind of spess cuck?

>>159613984
>I wouldn't know where to start with that github stuff though.
Just dig in. Search bar would be a good place to start.

BYOND objects are atom/area, atom/turf, atom/obj, or atom/mob (for game tokens) or datum (for more nebulous crap).
If something is inheriting behavior, but redefines a subroutine, ..() means "and do the original subroutine's stuff here".
BYOND subroutines are called proc.

Everything else is pretty self explanatory.
As with all programming languages, it's intended to be human readable.

Also, it would be nice if once someone sets a only x person is human lawset the borgs would be able to see a sign on top of the person's head pointing that he is human, something similar to the cultist icon being used to allow cultists to see who is with them. This would prevent new players from committing the stupid mistake of harming or killing the human they are supposed to be serving.

Sure, you can just learn to pay attention to not commit this mistake in the future, but this way you would not commit the mistake in the first place.

>>159614336
>It's a good idea, as the few times I've been borg'd by an antag I had literally no idea what I was supposed to do. I can only imagine it's worse for non-antag borgs
Specially when you do not even understand what asimov is yet, you simply feel lost, just like you would if playing another job, but mistakes commited as silicon are treated much more harshly.

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>>159614190
I got ya family

>>159614442
>antag borgs me
>not emagged
>laws are standard asimov but only the antag counts as human
>not sure if I'm supposed to go murderbone everyone or not
>get blamed for the AI's doorcrushing before I even know if I'm free to murderbone or not
>get robusted because am scrub

>>159614051
Not even being an efficient assistant.
Ask for a robot head to make a roburger.

>>159614216
The correct answer is brain cake.
You have sufficient escalation.

>>159614578
Thanks senpai

>>159614442
>>159614336
>>159614216
>>159613874
>Specially when you do not even understand what asimov is yet
That's why we have a wiki. You're not required to read it, but you really are.

>>159614586
Pretty much this.

You are so confused in such a situation that you will simply fail to do anything at all and just get killed.

>>159614636
>The correct answer is brain cake.
>You have sufficient escalation.
Well, you can't stop newbies from commiting newbie mistakes, but you can improve the game so that these mistakes will not happen so often.

>>159613223
what's >her name?

>>159614772
>That's why we have a wiki. You're not required to read it, but you really are.
Yeah, but the thing is: the wiki is not clear on many things.

Does getting tased by security harms you? Not really, but borgs are not supposed to do it either way under asimovs law, right?

Besides, the wiki contains a lot of information all mixed up, you don't seriously think a new player will read it all before trying to play, right? They will just read enough to get started and continue reading as the need for information arises.

And as I said, the time it takes for you to be allowed to play silicons is too short, there would be literally no harm in increasing the time so that new players would have to play longer before trying out silicons.

>>159614216
>It would have been better if I was not allowed to lay borg at all until I had something like 3 months of game experience?
Wouldn't have hurt to go to the test server (or locally host a server) to get the hang of the borg UI and powers.
Which I guess is true of anything else in the game, for that matter.

>>159612698
I havent had them for a long time, she puts nearly everyone she knows over me at this point. She got mad at me for getting pissed at her friend for jumping on my legs while I was laying down feeling sick.

>>159614994
>but borgs are not supposed to do it either way under asimovs law, right?
Why would you even have a taser? There's no reason to roll Sec borg on Asimov.

>>159613062
Partually, yes. DenkouZ observed often, shittalked shitters in deadchat, played nice when playing, and was considered a waifu (despite not wanting any part of it). All of that led to the thankfully short-lived valkyrie meme.

>>159615061
>Wouldn't have hurt to go to the test server (or locally host a server) to get the hang of the borg UI and powers.
This is not the problem, mate.

Anyone can understand the UI and powers of a borg, and use it. The problem is knowing how a borg is supposed to behave, that is where things get messy.

>>159615152
>Why would you even have a taser? There's no reason to roll Sec borg on Asimov.
Yes, you would know that if you have been playing for a few weeks, but a brand new player on his first time playing borg will simply pick security, because they are drawn to it.

Like, these suggestions would probrably have helped me in the past few weeks if they existed in the game, Im just giving feedback from a newbies perspective of the game.

>>159614994
>Does getting tased by security harms you?
Tases are completely harmless.

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>>159615262
>on his first time playing borg will simply pick security, because they are drawn to it.
y tho.

Standard > Medical = Engineering > Combat > > Security > Janitor > Service > > Miner

>>159614216
so you're the borg who didn't follow his onehuman law, even when the human explicitly said I-I-IT'S M-M-ME

maybe just keep it in your pants, don't be a cunt etc.

>>159614994
>but borgs are not supposed to do it either way under asimovs law, right?
wrong.

>the wiki is not clear on many things/all mixed up
I agree, still it gives you enough information to not get banned. And you also get some amount of freedom in interpreting your laws.
You can even ask your AI or other bots over binary for advice if you're totally clueless. You have all the information to not be shit at your disposal.

>you don't seriously think a new player will read it all before trying to play, right?
>read it all
No, but I expect new players to read the basics, rules and the guide for whatever job they're joining as. If someone can't be assed to do that, I personally don't want him on this server.

If you mess up as a silicon, you'll get a warning and a temp jobban at most which should be the signal for you to read wiki, and if you then STILL can't be assed to read it, this is not the game for you.

>>159615605
warning *or a temp jobban I meant

File: Jesus.png (261KB, 962x952px) Image search: [Google]

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Amen.

File: 68407.jpg (238KB, 700x393px) Image search: [Google]

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as he nukes the cluwnes and cultist from our station, blazing holy fire will strike the sins from your booing ghost and you will be brought to the eternal centcomm

File: System Spess Junk 16 2016-11-07 005401.png (132KB, 480x480px) Image search: [Google]

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>King Arthur (as Unknown) says, "FOR THE KING"
>Sir Viver (as Unknown) says, "YAWHEH"
>Sir Griswald (as Unknown) exclaims, "FOR THE KING!"
>Sir Lancelot (as Unknown) says, "DESTROY THE INFIDELS"
>Sir Lancelot (as Unknown) says, "FOR GOD"
>Sir Griswald (as Unknown) exclaims, "DEUS VULT!"

>(Follow) Dawson Adams says, "I don't want to rush you guys but JESUS FUCKING CHRIST is on station and he has a nuke."

>Honk'Sie honks at Jesus Christ in the right arm!
>(Follow) Jesus Christ says, "My child"
>Honk'Sie honks at Jesus Christ in the left foot!
>(Follow) Jesus Christ says, "You have sinned"
>(Follow) Jesus Christ says, "But I forgive you"
>(Follow) Jesus Christ says, "As for the nuclear fire shall cleanse you of your sins"

One of my favorite busses in a while. Deadchat went WILD.

>>159615441
>Tases are completely harmless.
And yet it is considered human harm when a borg does it, hence the problem.

>>159615494
>y tho.
Human nature, that is why.

>>159615494
>Standard > Medical = Engineering > Combat > > Security > Janitor > Service > > Miner
This makes sense to an experienced player, but not to a newbie.

>>159615509
>even when the human explicitly said I-I-IT'S M-M-ME
Well, at the time I didn't even understand what you were saying, I only realized it was you when the admin told me! Hence why I think an icon should be displayed on top of the one human, as to avoid this.

>>159615509
>maybe just keep it in your pants, don't be a cunt etc.
I try, but that was a honest mistake man, I did not realize it was you at all, im really sorry for ruining the round.

>>159615605
>wrong.
And yet I get several complaints on me because of that.

>>159615605
>If you mess up as a silicon, you'll get a warning and a temp jobban at most which should be the signal for you to read wiki, and if you then STILL can't be assed to read it, this is not the game for you.
See, the problem is when honest mistakes like the one described here happen, I feel terrible for ruining the round and will be extra sure to try not to let this happen again, but the fact that you get ordered to kill everyone but 1 person, and has no way of telling that person apart from the rest other than by name you easily end up committing a stupid mistake during the chaos of trying to survive while killing everyone else.

I am not trying to use this as an excuse for what I did or to get my jobban cancelled, im just suggesting a feature that would prevent this kind of honest mistake from happening again to some other newbie in the future.