/twg/ - Total War General

First for elves are for rape.

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MAKE WAY
FOR PRINCE ALI!
SAY "HEY!"
IT'S PRINCE ALI!

Hey clear the way in the ol' bazaar
Hey you! Let us through-
it's a bright new star
Oh come be the first on your block to meet his eye!
Make way!
Here he comes!
Ring bells!
Bang the drums!
Ah! You're gonna love this guy!

Prince Ali - fabulous he - Ali Ababwa
Genuflect, show some respect:
Down on one knee.
Now try your best to stay calm,
Brush up your Sunday salaam,
Then come and meet his spectacular coterie!

Prince Ali - mighty is he - Ali Ababwa
Strong as ten regular men definitely
He faced the galloping hordes!
A hundred bad guys with swords!
Who sent those goons to their lords?
Why- Prince Ali!

>>153404895
I think this could make for a legitimately cool army.
Shame it's never going to happen.

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Genevieve Dieudonné legendary hero when?

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GROM WHEN?

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MEN WITH BIG HATS

I saw Karl Franz at a grocery store in Altdorf yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for consent or anything.
He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”
I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Bugman's XXXXXX's in his hands without paying.
The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.
When she took one of the Bugman's XXXXXX and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any chaos or vampiric infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each Bugman's XXXXXX and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

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G O B L I N S

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>>153405030
FIGHTING OTHER MEN WITH HATS

>>153405071
>fifteen Bugman's XXXXXX's in his hands without paying
That's a grudging.

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>>153405242
RESULTING IN OVERWHELMING VICTORY

>>153405030
>>153405242
Both of them are literally the same.

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>wood elves still not announced

>>153405654
Lets be honest, it would be fucking impossible for Napelon to have the same unit variety as Warhammer. Just fucking impossible....

I wonder if they'll have the map wraparound like a sphere? It'd be a pain in the ass for Chaos otherwise with its two territories separated.

>>153404719
Release the Mod, OP.

Release it. We need a Mannlet Text Replacement Mod.

>>153405796
All history games are the same

>man with stick
>man with stick and cardboard
>man with long stick
>man with stick that shoots
>man with stick that shoots different projectile
>man on animal

>>153406010
>man on animal
>not man with stick on animal

>>153406114
Their stick isn't interesting at all. It's not even worth mentioning. I should just say man.

>>153405654
Of course, it's the same unit being run down by cavalry and then Caçadores.

>>153406010
All war games are the same.

>Get people
>Meet other people
>Some people die

>>153406530
At least in TWW there's more than one type of people.

>>153406649
Kinda cool how they used a different skeleton for the Chaos humans.

>>153406789
This is why the next history game will flop.

>>153400531
That mod crashes when Chaos invades doesn't it?

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Quick reminder.

>>153407225
>based GW
no
also we already knew about this beforehand, the interesting portion though is "legendary characters"

>>153407225
Does TW:WH get a lot of coverage in gw stuff?

>>153407805
They send you an update through the official Warhammer app every time a new DLC is announced and released, and of course the White Dwarf section.

It seems GW are pretty proud of Total War: Warhammer.

>>153407225

>In the coming months

>This means we'll probably see this halfway done faction in fucking november or so.

For fuck's sake

>>153407225
>foot knights never ever
At least they should make Morgiana le Fay. Green Gilles le Breton leading them would look dumb.

>>153407973
Some people were speculating early 2017, so "in the coming months" is a godsend compared to that.

It seems like they want to release it alongside the Wood Elves, otherwise they would have released them by now.

>>153407303
>anything bad happens
>it is the fault of GW
>anything good happens
>yeah nah i don't care

>>153408054
They should honestly just add a dismount option for all horse-based cavalry. Previous Total Wars had it.

>>153408170
But that is DISHONORABLE!

Are there good mods for Attila already?

>>153408157
It is well known that GW terribly mishandles both its products and its consumers, and doesn't even realize basic things about the market it appeals to
I don't really know how much credit we're supposed to give them according to you

>>153408290
Then Brets should get a leadership penalty when dismounting.

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>>153408170
>just get off your horse dude
t. reiklander

>>153408290
Just make it so bretonnian knights cant use the dismount option

>>153408170
Can yoy nostalgia fags stop asking for stupid shit? How many times can you honestly say that you used the dismount feature? I'm sure you stupid nostalgia fags will make something out. Please don't waste our time.

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>>153408290
Shamefur dispray my ass.

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>>153408514
What happens when my horses can't use ladders? What then? Am I just supposed to leave my most trained and well-armed and armoured soldiers at the gates? Even if they get into the settlement, it's not like they can go up and fight on the walls, where the majority of the fighting is.

>>153408518
Look at them! They fight like peasants!

>>153408514
The knight models are meant to represent dehorsed knights making their way back to their lines to grab a new one.

>>153408721
>every unit should be able to do everything

Uhh just fucking walk through their front doors? What next, monsters climbing walls too? Maybe have cavalry shoot artillery? Fuck off, radious.

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how do I not turn into a cucklord against the AI ?

no matter where I'm engaging, if I have high ground or not, I will always have to make the first move, sometimes I manage to bait the AI with a weak unit, but I'm having trouble with the orcs on hard mode ( yes I need to get gud ),the battles arent enjoyable right now, I always lose a lot more soldiers than I should because the AI is just so fucking annoying.

>>153409062
Artillerie. Also the AI is defensive if you start the battle and visa versa.

>>153409005
Poe's Law in full effect

>>153409415
>hurrr everybody that disagrees with me is a troll

Grow up or fuck off.

>>153409005
If you are this bored just go and play a video game.

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>>153406010
Total War: Ooga Booga when

>>153409641
Now I know you were just being facetious, thanks

>>153407225
>based GW
remove that

also, brets being the free faction was pretty much confirmed since before launch

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Wood Elves soon.

>>153410037
It's GW that allowed your favorite game to be made you butthurt cunt. Show some gratitude.

>>153409062
AI will fully engage pretty much the instant a single one of their units get targeted. So you can either push up just into artillery range or even just push up a single unit of ranged cav to trigger an attack (then pull it back) while the rest of your army stays on the high ground.

>>153408157
>GW
>doing anything but leech profits from Total War: Warhammer
you sweet summer child...

>Chaos rebels spawned near a settlement that's under siege by chaos
>Can't sally out now
Wtf is this shit? Also, I stupidly didn't keep a save from before the siege started, so now I'm really fucked.

>>153410180
Yeah nothing other than creating a completely unique universe and allowing CA to make a game based off it.

>>153410348
too bad they blew it up because it didn't sell enough action figures

>>153410153
Sounds like cheesing to me.

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CA really should make new damsel faces, all depictions portray them young and hot.

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>>153410121
>Being a redshirt

>>153410121
They got the money they wanted for this "favour". There's the gratitude they need and want.

>>153410121
man this game sure makes me want to buy some warhammer fantasy battle miniatures

>>153410536
The series sorely needed a new makeover and the community ASKED for it. Of course there will always be people opposed to change. A few vocal idiots hardly represent the entire community. But don't just take my word for it. I believe the sales speak for itself.

>>153410557
just letting him know that's an option.

>>153410780
>I believe the sales speak for itself.
t. GW Chairman of the Board

>>153410121
>Show some gratitude

>To the people who sold a license to SEGA
>And proceeded to kill their product for some multiverse capeshit
>And the most likely reason of the price spike in Total War: Warhammer

>>153410780
>Only reason GW's value hasn't dropped to a new low is jewing videogame developers for a product they don't support
wew lad

SIGMAR FORBIDS IT

>>153411120
Do you think karl franz ever talks about anything other than MUH SIGMAR and his constant rambling about how elector counts don't have his consent or something? What would a conversation with him sound like?

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>>153407225
>"in the coming months"
>months
>(s) plural

Fuck they wont be out until Christmas, which means no Tomb Kangs until 2017.

Grim and Grave (September)
>Vlad FLC

Wood Elves (October)
>Grey Wizard and Lore of Shadow FLC

Dwarf v. Orc LL Pack (November)
>Wurrzag

[Race] v. [Race] LL Pack (December)
>Bretonnia

Tomb Kings (January)
>Jade Wizard and Lore of Life FLC

I'm hope Wood Elves drop later in September but I'm not holding my breathe.

>>153411270
>guten morgen franz
>PRAISE SIGMAR
>yeah uh nice day
>TO SUMMON THE ELECTOR COUNTS
>i don't really want to do that..
>THIS ACTION DOES NOT HAVE MY CONSENT

How do we fix Dwarf gyrocopters?

>>153411451
With the engineer's help, Azhakson.

>>153411451
There's nothing wrong with it, if anything it needs nerfs because realistically something like that would be worthless beyond reconnaissance.

>>153411584
>realistically
Don't even start.

>>153410293
Anyone know how to solve this? It's probably because the rebel AoI covers the besieging army. If I can't solve it it kills all my interest in the campaign.

>>153411350
why would lore of life come out with kangz and not wood elves and lore of shadows wood elves and not kangz?

>>153411649
The stupidest thing about them is that they're a coaxial design but both rotors spin in the same direction so they don't cancel out torque.
Also the little boat prop thing on the back would be shit for actual propulsion.

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How can you call Wood Elves Ayyys while things like this roam the world?

>>153411819
I know.
I don't well, try to care.

>>153411819
The designers over at GW certainly aint the master engineers they claim their creations to be.

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why is she so cute

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Is he "Our guy?"

>>153412062
I had that mouse. Had.

>>153411839
Hey, is that a Prometheus mod?

>>153412053
Do you want to see real dead corpses of women?

>>153412062

is that radious

>>153412053
Khaldia is a whore. That should have let Neferta rape her and turn her into a lesbian sex slave.

>>153412172
Not this again.

>play a lot last night
>just end my game with a quick save because it was late and had class early in the morning
>get home from work
>start up a new campaign
>quick save over your progress last night
I lost 100 turns. I hate to purge Norsca again. Fuck me.

>>153412118
Yeah ok nice what do you want me to say to that?

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Smelly dumb

Umgi scum

>>153412118
You should ask Jeff van Dyck to give it back to you. It's not cool to steal other people's stuff - if nobody stands up to him he'll never learn.

>>153412396
The time for negotiations is over. I will trespass into his office and reclaim my mouse.

>>153412308
I know how you feel. It looks like I just lost a 105 turn Dwarf campaign to an area of influence bug. Can't be bothered to recover from losing my best army with Thorgrim, so I might as well restart once the patch hits. Only needed to win 2 a few battles against chaos and take 6 settlements to win a long victory too, assuming no new grudges appeared.

>>153412540
>assuming no new grudges appeared.
heh

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>>153412124
Vanilla vampire lord

>>153412062

Why did they just drop him?

>>153412751
He was to Pure

>>153412751
They only use him for good games.

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THIS ACTION

>>153413032

DOES

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>>153412359
They had to move through shallow water and climb the water while getting pelted by my arty

Why are volley guns such shit?

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>>153404854
Objectively incorrect. Elves are for getting killed by.

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Why is he so based /twg/ros?

>>153413417
I'm not your fucking bro, brah.

>>153413359
But they're not.

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>tfw you cry yourself to sleep because you will never see the battle of winterfell in the show in it's full glory. Bastard bowl could not heal these wounds.

>>153413539
>less damage than cannons
>less range than cannons
>less arc than cannons
Why are volley guns such shit?

>>153413417
Because he is shit as slaaneshfaggots deserve.

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>>153413417

>Sigvald
>Slaaneshi Man-Whore
>Based

>>153413539
Different guy, but how would you use them effectively then?

>>153413665
>volley guns aren't cannons therefore they're shit

>>153413815
They're really good at shredding heavily armored enemies approaching your lines, and generally fucking up the enemy line so it's vulnerable to counterattack because of it's penetration and knock-back.

>>153413665
don't they fire a lot faster?

>>153414125
Yes, and they still inflict much less damage than cannons.

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>reminder to watch your tone and intent

>>153414430
last warning bud

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Who /excited/ for Vlad? Im glad ill soon be able to put Mannlet in the trash can for good.

Fuck Mannlet.

>>153414208
But they fire faster than cannons and have more range than ranged infantry. They're great at countering ranged inf/cav spam. Better than cannons at it.

>>153414509
>Who /excited/ for Vlad?
I'm so excited I could just not contain myself and started a Vlad campaign in CK2.

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>>153414509
>breast veins

His lines in the CA trailer were good. He seems like a cool guy. I don't really like the VC shtick so I haven't played them yet. Might do it once the DLC/FLC is out.

>>153414729
>They're great at countering ranged inf/cav spam. Better than cannons at it.
But that's false.

Cannons are also anti-large. Volley guns are not. Cannons will destroy cav more effectively and from farther away.

They're also cheaper than volley guns.

>>153415010
ranged inf aren't large tho. Also, what is the DOT of each considering the difference in fire rate.

Honestly I'm not sure how arty damage is applied to unit health. Let's say a cannonball plows through a thin unit and gibs 2 archers - isn't the reduction in unit health the health values of those 2 units? Since cannon and volley guns can overkill most units it seems like the greater cannon damage doesn't matter unless you're shooting monstrous units or heroes.

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I want to be dominated by a best elf!

>>153415417
and volley guns still do less damage to infantry than cannons.

Honestly, they're complete shit comparatively. They don't do a single thing better or even as well.

>>153415524
Ask your mom to rape you and it'll be just like being a dark elf.

I'm poor. Thinking about selling my plasma for money. Is that a bad idea? Please note that I can' afford to buy Grim and the Grave otherwise.

>>153415812
Poor people should consider suicide.

>>153415812
I don't even want to know what you did to buy the base game.

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When darkness falls

>>153415960
Why aren't you dead yet?

>>153415812
How are you so fucking poor that you can't even afford 8 fucking dillery dollary dooes? That's like what I spend on one extremely shitty meal. Get a job.

>>153416061
That looks awesome, is it a mod?

>>153415812
your blood stream is laced with too many shit food additives.

>>153416079
Uh cause I'm not poor and have no problems buying games?

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>genevieve dieudonne legendary hero

check

>tomb kings still not announced

That half assed image combined with the >greentext, but still, check

>chaos dwarfs

STILL NOT ANNOUNCED

>>153412359
That's basically my usual army :3

In the quest battle screen what's the difference between say, the silver seal (1) and (2)? They both seem to have the same enemy army composition.

>>153415960
I do that a lot, but I'm too terrified of the eternal darkness of oblivion.

>>153416129
Poor self discipline and college tuition?

>>153416202
Probably, but I'm hoping they don't notice.

>>153416046
I'll keep it secret then.

So, selling plasma it is. Thanks for the advice.

>>153416574

there's 2 battles for that quest I think? either that or it's a different map

>>153416193
http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=754870269

I'm definitely going to use it and the and the night time vampire battles mod for all future VC campaigns.

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>2020
>CA releases Cathay DLC
>It's just fucking Date from FotS

>>153416792
I'd be okay with that

>>153416649
>Buy a can of helim, make sure it's 100%, not the diluted shit they sell these days
>buy oxygen mask
>hook them up
>sit on your chair and watch tv or whatever it is you're into

dead in no time and you won't even notice it my friend.

>>153416689
>MUST HAVE MOD banner

>>153416873
That sounds expensive. Going back to the first part of my quandary.

>>153416874
Modders really are that conceited to think that their shit is so hot that it's a direct upgrade that nobody can do without.

>>153416689
Looking at this makes me wish that CA had enabled night battles and Vlad had massive buffs during night battles instead of the vanguard thing.

>>153417080
It's not that expensive, it's like 50 bucks for the can and 5 for the mask. You can sell all your shit and splurge before finally killing yourself. It would probably be better for you in the long run.

>>153417080
>take a walk around town
>look for a nice tall building
>take the elevator to the top
>jump out a window

will the sept 1st update come with balance changes?

>>153417337
Me too. It would make playing the Vampire Counts feel that much more unique.

>>153417441
Yeah the details it in the patch notes.
Mork nerfed into the ground
Gork buffed

>try to play attila
>watchtowers mow down everything

>>153417441
>http://wiki.totalwar.com/w/Total_War_WARHAMMER_Update_3#Balancing

>>153417351
And how am I supposed to sell shit? Go to a pawn shop and dump my garbage pile of books and clothes and hope for fifty five bucks? I couldn't pay people fifty five bucks to go through all my crap. Jeez, you have some unrealistic ideas of how to live.

>>153416874
http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=736170649

he made mod of the year too

>>153417747
Look buddy I'm not telling you how to live, I'm helping you find painless ways to die. I'm sure you have a phone. Sell that. If you're so fucking poor you can always do the classic kersplat on the sidewalk if you don't mind having a mangled corpse. It's just nicer that someone productive might get your organs after you die is all.

>>153415812

Try to get government support. If the lazy fucks in my family can get welfare so can you.

>>153416873

>explaining an exit bag to somebody that wants to buy a $7.19 DLC

Jesus Christ Anon.

I wish I was aborted

>>153418270
What matters is that you try to be the best you that you can be every day

>>153418270
Fuck off Dash

>Capped minimum reload time to prevent multiple Master Engineers rewriting the laws of physics and giving ranged units negative reload times.
Why does CA hate fun?

>>153417721

>Mannfred is slightly stressed upon the imminent arrival of Dad (Vlad)

I wonder if Mannfred got some angsty lines about not being top dog anymore?

>I-I'm t-t-t-the true von Carstein :(

>>153418509
>reload

huh? You mean fire rate?

>>153418580
If course not, how many jabbers do you think that would cost?

What's the jabber to charlemagne conversion rate?

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>>153418914

>Mannfred is slightly stressed upon the imminent arrival of Dad (Vlad)
Even CA knows.

>>153419223
That doesn't even make sense, this isn't a persistent world game, you start the game at the same point every time so in manny's perspective vlad has always been there.

> Lord of Change +20 AP, +100 HP, +15 A

Will this make him viable in Multiplayer?

>>153419530
HAHA I think not.

>>153419530
>lore of metal
lol

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Who calls?

THE NATION CALLS

>>153420041
I really appreciate Gelt's ability to wreck vampire lord rectums.

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>>153413417
Sexy Sigvald's sensuous scrotum slapping stimulates salacious sybarites!

>>153419389
autism

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Would it be considered necrophilia?

>>153420458

Are you willing to fuck Vlad von Carstein's ex-wife?

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my king is going to die he is old as fuck and a glorious general

>>153420893
Does he have a proper heir to take up the mantle after he's gone?

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>>153420691
You're not?

>>153420691
>ex wife

I bet hers is a glorious hate fuck

Which Warhammer character do you identify with?

For me, it is the Magnus. Courageous, pious, and with a mild sense of humor.

>>153421569
For me, it's Mannfred. Deluded, autistic, and with no sense of humour.

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Added when?

A reminder to praise Quickmar when your next turn comes up quick.

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>>153421178

>vampire hate fuck

You asked for this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rouaDXgOkLs

>>153421721
Milena Velba?

>>153421102
his son was an elite super governor who died in a shitty event

i almost quit when the event killed him too
im going to ignore all the stupid trader events from now on

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>>153421734
Oh my

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>>153420893
>first Attila game
>dunno what I'm doing
>king has one (1!) intellect
>spend half the campaign prepping his heir to have god-like stats
>king lives until like 89 and survives the entire grand campaign

>>153422291
Ignorance really is bliss

Polite Reminder
http://wiki.totalwar.com/w/Using_Total_War_Gameplay_Footage

>>153422291
its funny to me just imagining some 90 year old man leading a shock cav unit that whole time

nice touch with old generals complaining about being old too in the speeches

>>153422514
hahaha fucking SEGA

>>153422419
>>153422642
He had max authority and whole bunch of bloodthirsty-crazy-murderer traits. The royal title on his wiki page would've definitely been "the Mad".

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If it's not overkill, it's not overkill enough

>>153423176
Like Honeybees clumping on a Hornet

>>153421957
Oh that event. I'd like some paradox style events in Total War games, but every time CA has tried implementing them it's fallen flat like that.

>>153423593
Dilemmas!

>>153423760
DO YOU DO RIGHT THING OR WRONG THING?

THING 1: NOTHING HAPPENS
THING 2: YOU LOSE A GENERAL FUCKO

Do you guys listen to Smashmouth while playing Total War or is that just me?

>>153424151
Probably just you. I listened to High on Fire's Surrounded by Thieves during my beastmen campaign.

Probably going to listen to Mercyful Fate and King Diamond's Abigail when I play the VC campaign

Does anyone know of a "Lets Play" from a tabletop die hard fan that has never played a Total War game before?

I am quite curious how they perceived the game, especially if it is the first time they boot it up.

>>153424151
I listen to ASMR roleplays

>>153424460
Sounds like you'd enjoy our boy Arch Warhammer's videos

>>153425014

Will check him out.

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When dumbass Gauls charge their only cavalry unit directly into your pikes

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>>153425014
> our boy

>>153425193
He's played a bunch of TW games before.

>>153425608

Oh well, I suppose I will keep looking then. I just miss that feeling of wonder and curiosity.

>>153425014
Arch is a Total War vet.

>>153417747
Please dont kill yourself anon ;_;

>>153425193
hehe you got pranked on >:D
who will i prank next?

>>153426915

:/

>>153407225
We knew this months ago. The secret links in the online encylopaedia was the smoking gun needed. Leon already has all his skills,unique mount and 5 quest battles laid out.

>>153427350
The relgious symbol of Sigmar being that twin tailed comet never made sense to me. A cross is literally two lines, but the comet just seems...Ungainly.

>>153427565
The birth of Sigmar was heralded by a twin-tailed comet in the sky. It's not as simple a symbol to draw, but not everyone's savior can be nailed to two bits of wood now, can they?

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>mfw two more days of work before the dlc is released and I can play as daddy vlad

>>153428506
>tfw got called in tomorrow
>After that is 5 days straight
>including closing one night then opening the next morning

Life is suffering

>>153428498
Yeah, but on a meta-level of the designers, I meant the choice of comet over, say, hammer seems strange to me.

>>153428641
That I can't account for as the hammer is an easier symbol to draw and whatnot. Though since Ghal Maraz is also used as the symbol for Warhammer as a whole maybe they just didn't want to use it for both.

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>>153428641
Should be a sun.

So I'm honestly worries that dlc factions like beastmen wont get updates in the future. Do you guys think they will?

I'd love for beastmen to get more units/lls

>>153429285
I think we can be 99% sure that they will. They won't miss out on a chance to rake in more money. Most likely in the case of Beastmen I think is that we will see something like the upcoming The Grim and the Grave DLC, but with Beastmen and Wood Elves because they are traditional enemies in the Secret War.

So are the Huns mostly mounted troops like you'd expect of a horde or do they employ significant amounts of foot troops? I ask as I am a turn or two away from getting ass-raped by them.

>>153429474
But that'd be DLC for your DLC

>>153429474
>Its another Beastmen and Wood Elves are traditional enemies episode

Wood Elves despise Beastmen and try to kill them, but Beastmen spend more time fighting greenskins and man than ever caring about what Wood Elves are up to. It's glaring because the Wood Elf lore is so desperate to build up the Beastmen as an enemy, but the Beastmen lore scarcely mentions wood elves at all.

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>>153429582
Nevermind, crisis averted.

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>mfw Vlads voice

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>>153430140
Good lad

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>>153404719
Why do I love Vlad so much?
It's pretty simple when I think about it.
Vlad isn't just the best character in the Warhammer world, he might just be the greatest character of all time.
Just imaging him riding through the swamps of Sylvania, the wind in his hair, his mighty steed below him.
As he rides through the World's Edge Mountains, the Lahmians swoon at his very scent.
They know how he smells, the essence of his smell is sold in Marienburg under the the name of "Carstein Orgasm."
The very nature of Vlad is mystery.
Could he be playing a deeper game than even his creator realizes?
The answer is yes, he has transcended such boundaries as the written world, and has free will to do whatever he sees fit.
However, Vlad is filled with such guile, such arcane craft that he does not even use these powers.
Why, you might ask? You will never know, for the mind of the Vlad is not one that is easily penetrated.
Vlad is such a force of nature in his realm that nothing can truly touch him, the only thing keeping him bound to the page at all is his will to exist within the preordained boundaries of his world.
Vlad is not only beyond the comprehension of us, he exists within a plane of true focus and beauty.
Observe his playful smile, his gorgeous and rippling biceps, his gallant nose, and most importantly, his eyes.
His eyes, like pools of saffron, provide the only glimpse into the true machinations of Vlad. Do not stare into them. Many good men have gone mad in the attempt.
Vlad is not just a character, a formless collection of words and images, he is himself is the binding that holds the Warhammer world together.
Without Vlad, the entire Warhammer world, the entire Games Workshop as we know it crumbles.
The Reik would stop flowing without Vlad, Athel Loren would become a desolate crater, and Norsca would melt without his frosty gaze.
These are just of a few of the reasons why I like Vlad so much.

>>153434854
This was funnier with Darkstar desu

>>153412359
K I L L U M G I
I
L
L
U
M
G
I

>>153434913
The Darkstar version is the best copypasta in existence

>>153434913
>>153435012
Who is darkstar?

>>153435132
http://awoiaf.westeros.org/index.php/Gerold_Dayne

>>153435012
The best copypasta in existence is the Arnold/Jamie Lee Curtis/True Lies one from /tv/

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God damn I love pikemen
Only had a 1/3 chance of winning but they rushed half their army into my pike/spear wall.

>>153435445
I'm not sure I've seen that one

>>153435914
cheater

>>153435914
>people think this is the best TW

>>153435914
Tilea'n Estalia pikemen when.

>>153432710
>tfw no Rudd, Julia and Tony LL pack

>>153436048
http://archived.moe/tv/thread/24535761/
>24535840

>>153436228
>>153436731
Pretty much every other TW with pikemen has the same mechanic

>>153436906
Formations when.

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>>153436048
Imagine being Arnold in that scene and having to be all like "damn, Jamie Curtis, you fuckin' fine, all sexy with your tight body and horrific androgynous monster face. I would totally have sex with you, both my character and the real me." when all he really wants to do is fuck another 16 year old in his dressing room. Like seriously imagine having to be Arnold and not only sit in that chair while Jamie Lee Curtis flaunts her disgusting body in front of you, the favorable lighting barely concealing her stretchmarks and leathery skin, and just sit there, take after take, hour after hour, while she perfected that dance. Not only having to tolerate her monstrous fucking visage but her haughty attitude as everyone on set tells her she's STILL GOT IT and DAMN, JAMIE LEE CURTIS LOOKS LIKE *THAT*?? because they're not the ones who have to sit there and watch her mannish fucking gremlin face contort into types of grimaces you didn't even know existed before that day. You've been fucking nothing but a healthy diet of blondes and supermodels and later alleged rape victims for your ENTIRE CAREER coming straight out of the boonies in Austria. You've never even seen anything this fucking disgusting before, and now you swear you can taste the sweat that's breaking out on her dimpled stomach as she sucks it in to writhe it suggestively at you, smugly assured that you are enjoying the opportunity to get paid to sit there and revel in her "statuesque (for that is what she calls herself)" beauty, the beauty she worked so hard for with personal trainers in the previous months. And then the director calls for another take, and you know you could kill every single person in this room before the studio security could put you down, but you sit there and endure, because you're fucking Arnold. You're not going to lose your future political career over this. Just bear it. Hide your face and bear it.

>>153437157
Warhammer cavalry doesn't throw itself into your line

>>153436906
>>153437157
there are mods for those two things

Am i the only one that feels that playing Chaos at the moment is a complete waste of time becuse there's no Demons?

>>153435132
he is of the night

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>>153438247
>becuse there's no Demons
Daemons will be their own faction but I guess the campaign will become a clusterfuck during the 'End Times' with Warriors of Chaos, Warherd of Chaos and Daemons of Chaos ravaging the whole map.
I guess Chaos Dwarfs won't be part of the Chaos invasion since they only care about their slaves and don't want the world to end?

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>defending your great city from brave Suebians charging through a metre high pile of bodies
Gotta give them credit.

It said I didn't have a chance at winning, but having to charge through a chokepoint into a Legio Comitatenses testudo can take its toll.

>>153438465
They like the world, that's where they keep all their shit

>>153437213
yup, this copy pasta is ***** quality.

>>153438465
Chaos dwarfs would be such a shit faction to waste time creating, their army book be damned.

Really when the fuck were they ever relevant to anything?

>>153428506
>>153428603
>Heading out on a 2 week ex
>Gonna be busy as fuck making sure evaluations are perfect for a week afterwards
>Most likely getting a 4 week course over October

If I'm lucky I'll get a few hours with Vladdy and we might have the next faction pack by the time I'm free again

>>153440205
They made black orcs?

>>153440205
>Chaos dwarfs would be such a shit faction to waste time creating
Same for Tomb Kings and Ogre Kingdoms, there are far more interesting factions but CA will still waste time on them, we have to accept that

>>153440348
So fucking what dude, Chaos Dwarfs are completely irrelevant to the lore and fluff.

>>153440485
What are they going to put in that is equal to the Chaos Dwarfs in development resources yet more connected fluff-wise? There's literally nothing.

>>153440640
Forgo them and put in more shit for the already existing factions

>>153440485
>Chaos Dwarfs are completely irrelevant to the lore and fluff
So are Ogre Kingdoms, Lizardmen, Tomb Kings, Dark Elves and all human factions except for the Empire and kinda Kislev.
Should they all be left out because they do nothing in the Warhammer world?

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When do we finally get Savage Orc Demigryph Boyz Big'Uns (Trollhammer Torpedo)?

>>153440640
How about CA completely forgets about Chaos Dwarfs because nobody fucking cares?

>>153440727
Are you retarded?

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>>153440727
the heck are you on about

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>>153440726
But we're already getting pretty much everything for the existing factions? Hell, the VC roster is basically complete now. It's only a matter of time before the rest of the blanks are filled in.

>>153440756
Have we hit the point where shitting on the Chaos Dwarfs is more of a meme than the Chaos Dwarf fans themselves? Because I'm pretty sure everyone in on either side is retarded at this point.

Why the fuck do people want less instead of more?

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>>153440727
>Lizardmen
>Tomb Kings
>Dark Elves
>irrelevant to the lore and fluff

>>153441009
Personally, I'd rather have Kislev or Araby in the game rather than Chaos Dwarfs.

An altogether different human race than the Empire and Bretonnians would be welcome.

>>153441009

What are we even missing out of the Vampires?

Spirit hosts?

Is that it?

>>153441186
Tomb Kings and Skaven are my top two.

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>>153441186
I want them officially too, but adding either of them would take way less resources than the Chaos Dwarfs. We can probably mod those two in pretty well.

>>153441243
Spirit Hosts and Bat Swarms, both of which are kind of overshadowed by Cairn Wraiths and Fell Bats, respectively. Then there's the issue of Krell still MIA. What people aren't aware of is that there's a variant army for the Vampire Coast which has over a dozen unique units which they could also add as its own faction.

>>153440835
>>153440886
>>153441047
>Chaos Dwarfs being irrelevant
Who makes Chaos Armor?
Who builds Hellcannons?
Who created Black Orcs?
Who keeps the Orc and Goblin slaves from the Dark Lands from overrunning the Old World?

What are Dark Elves, Lizardmen or Tomb Kings contributing except for being edgy elves, lizardmemes and >Tomb Kings still not announced?

>>153441421
The first three aren't relevant, the fourth is made up. Try harder manlet.

>>153441408
>mod them in

uh no you can't.

>>153441563
So the Armor that makes Chaos Warriors what they're known for isn't relevant?
The strongest artillery in the whole Warhammer world isn't relevant?
The strongest and most intelligent breed of Orcs isn't relevant?
The amount of slaves the Chaos Dwarfs possess is gigantic, they'd wreak havoc to half the world if freed

>>153441421
Lizardmen run the network that keeps the world from going - and then everything was demons. Dark elves are already mentioned during in game events, the black arks. Tomb king just want everyone to get the hell off their lawn.

>>153441660
> http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=720369549&searchtext=
Okay, anon.

>>153441563
The fourth might be slightly exaggerated, but it's not inherently false. The Chaos Dwarfs basically enslaved most of the Hobgoblin Khans, which is kind of a big deal.

>>153441725
That'd be a pretty neat for greenskins actually, if you manage to fulfill Grimgor's vengeance on the Chaos Dwarfs Unlocking constant Waaagh army from all the freed slaves. Or something.

>>153441864
Reskins. Good luck adding magic carpets and djinns.

>>153441660
Kislev is already broken out as a special faction in the game data I think, so mod-in-able

>>153441864
There are HOBgoblins!?

What's the Goblin rankings then?
Hobz
Night Gobz
Gobz
?

>>153441864
>I have not added a new model - it is impossible. I only work with textures.

>>153441421
DArk elves constantly raid everybody, and there's that giant civil war going on.
Lizardmen were the first race and built a huge amount of important infrastructure
Tomb Kings were spawned from Nagash, and thus hate him, and they also control the city that birthed the first Vampires

Sorry if my lore knowledge is way off, I'm pretty new to warhammer

>>153441798
>Lizardmen run the network that keeps the world from going - and then everything was demons
That's something that could also work from behind the curtain

>Dark elves are already mentioned during in game events, the black arks
That's true but only being raiders isn't really that important for the lore.

>Tomb king just want everyone to get the hell off their lawn
Not even including their lands would make sense then

In the end I'm just kinda shitposting, Chaos Dwarfs wouldn't be an important playable faction but if you go by that you'd only need Empire, Dwarfs, High Elves vs Chaos Warriors, Chaos Daemons, Skaven

>>153441952
I sure hope that Grimgor does interact with Chaos Dwarfs in some way!
Destroying them and getting countless slave Waaagh's would be really interesting

>>153442147
>Tomb Kings were spawned from Nagash, and thus hate him
wow rude

>>153441952
How many jabbers would that cost?

>>153442232
In a curse of undeath/ living hell sense

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ca should just give us all factions so they're playable but can also be crushed
everyone would be fine

>>153442164
>I sure hope that Grimgor does interact with Chaos Dwarfs in some way!
>Destroying them and getting countless slave Waaagh's would be really interesting
We're likely just getting a recruitment cost bonus at the most if at all.

>>153442472
>Upkeep reduced by 99%

>>153442318
Are you capable of making coherent posts?

>>153442280
still though, you can't pick your parents so you better learn to like em!

>>153441952
Unlimited manpower =/= industry to supply & equip them on the field. Heck all factions in TWW basically have unlimited manpower.

>>153442553
How does a surplus of manpower equate toward lower army monetary upkeep?

>>153442862
The surplus manpower is converted into rations, leather, building materials, etcetera.

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>>153440465

>Tomb Kangz, Dork Elves, Lizards and Ogre Kangdomz
>On the same level as Chaos Dorfs

wew

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>>153442564
no

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>>153441660

Checkmate atheists.

>>153443226
reskin.

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>>153443126

>>153421734

Haha jesus fucking christ, that's one way to do it. Somehow still feels vanilla to what one might imagine Warhammer hate-fucks to be like

>>153443265

Just reskin a bunch of other things.

>>153442147
More that Nagash fucked up the spells of rebirth that'd have brought them back alive and they're also the ones that first killed Nagash.

>>153441952

>Implying Grimgor wouldn't start slaughtering them all seeing so many gobbo's

>>153443945
Only enough to make an impression on the survivors that Grimgor is da greatest, and Grimgor is da boss.

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lol

>>153421734
Well that was interesting. I might have to watch that shitshow some time.

>>153444160

Mannfred was weak

>>153444056

Yeah but then far off in the distance he hears a gobbo say something, and he starts slaughtering again. Grimgor can't stand the sight or sound of them

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>>153444280
>>153443945

DELET THIS

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>>153444360
GRIMGOR WAS WEAK, WITNESS TRUE STABBIN'

>>153444280
Actually, didn't he conquer the Chaos Dwarfs in the Endtimes? We can just look it up there to see what'll happen.

>With the combined might of the Greenskin and Ogre races, Grimgor led his hordes back into the Dark Lands. Many Greenskin slaves heard the prophecies of the avatars of Gork and Mork, and slave revolts happen all over the Chaos Dwarf empire. Eventually, the Waaagh! set hundreds upon thousands of Greenskins free from the slave pits and fought against their sadistic masters. In the end, the Chaos Dwarf empire was shattered.

From Lexicanum.

http://whfb.lexicanum.com/wiki/Grimgor_Ironhide

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>mfw the vengeance begins.
Is there anything as awesome as a dwarf army going rip and tear through grobi and urks and reclaiming their lost homes?

>>153444582
why would you make slaves out of race that knows nothing but winning fites?

>>153444678
Their voice acting and quotes are top tier

>THEY HAVE WRONGED US

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>>153444456

I am the one true GIT heh

>>153444867
post more CA dorfs

>>153444582

Lexicanum a shit.

That website contains directly contradictory information.

>>153444937
this, the wikia at least has more coherent sentences.

>>153444582

>Endtimes

Yeah not gonna take that stuff too seriously

vampire cunts before grave guards takes massive losses every possible fight
after unlocking grave guards I just slowly walk all over the enemy
why cant there be mid tier units

>>153445004
>>153444937
Well the wikia said the same damn thing.

>>153445034
Fair enough. Endtimes was a baked turd, with a few nuggets of good writing and fond farewells, but the overall result was shitty. I feel like Grimgor having a blast and kicking over the east was a good bit myself, but that's just me.

>>153445236
make a roman legion
>grave guards are your legionary infantry
>black/blood knights are your cavalry
>zombies are your skirmishers

>>153445236
The idea behind Vampire Coconuts is that your "mid tier" is just basic infantry backed up by a disgusting number of spells and regeneration sources.

>>153440205
I like Chaos Dwarfs because they're the "straight man" to the other evil factions.

They don't care for none of that retarded glory-seeking invasion crap, they don't undermine themselves with constant backstabbing and internal strife, and they don't act on pure sadism. They're all completely dedicated to the over-all plan of enslaving everybody else.

>it's an "accidentally put ranged units in front of my gothic warband line without setting skirmish mode" episode again

So much friendly fire.

>kelstr, 8th of August 2016

>Ok... I figured out what's next :) I'm going to finish the last couple units for this mod... THEN I'm going to work on one hell of an awesome mod for the Empire !!! I've been visualizing it in my head and it's going to be EPIC !!!! Perhaps my best mod idea yet :)

Y'all ready for griffons and demigriffs color variations?

>>153446346
kill me

>>153446310
>When you order your archers behind the lines to fire on distant enemies and the enemy run away with your archers pursuing right through the battleline.

No guard mode was a mistake.