Google Maps Quest, Rare Pepe Edition - Part 2

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[[Oops, forgot to update the weapon to the new damage system described in the guide. Just as a reminder at the top of the thread, combat rolls will now require a D20 roll to determine efficacy, as well as the roll corresponding to the weapon equipped.]]

Rolled 11 (1d20)

>>260326
Use our scroll and pray to Serket.

>>260326
Use daughter as club and beat the father. Shock paralyzes him for several turns

>>260338
[[You guys already escape his house, btw. >>260278]]

Rolled 20 (1d20)

>>260326
Return to the scene of the crime. The internet cafe that is

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>>260336
>>260348
You transform into your scorpion form and make a rapid and daring getaway; the internet cafe is the last place Bueno would expect you, and you are confident you have lost him. Bypassing the police cordons is no problem, although now that you're at the gang member's home, you wonder what you can accomplish here.

Rolled 5 (1d20)

>>260370
There are still two members of the meme gang left right? Let's leave a threatening message in mexican on the door to their hideout for them.

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>>260372

>>260374
Okay i'm gonna need a translation of some sort, I never learned el spainihico at school

But let's attach that to the door and leave it for the gang members to see, then find a nearby spot to camp them out.

>>260375
[[Already forgot what it was, it was basically something like "You're mean stupid faces and I'm going to make you sad. You'll pay for being bad guys.", weak threat for a weak roll.

Going to bed again, if you guys do a stake-out and ambush make sure you're strategic about it, the two remaining gangsters are really strong and were designed more in mind with having Bueno on your side. Curious to see how this plays out.]]

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From a hidden position, you watch two shady looking guys approach the building and look at your note. It appears to fill them with confusion, and they proceed to tear it up and then head inside.

Rolled 14 (1d20)

>>261619
Squirt poison onto a brick or piece of rubble and throw it through the window, hopefully one of them will pick it up and get infected, then return to hiding.

>>261682
We return to hiding after throwing the brick that is

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>>261682
You spray your sticky appendage juice all over a nearby brick, and chuck it through the window. The large one slowly waddles outside looking around, while the one with the sunglasses can be seen peeking through the broken window, a handgun pointing outwards looking for the source of the trouble.

The fat guy starts to yawn heading back inside, and makes the mistake of rubbing his eyes. Immediately he screams in agony and cries out loud that he cannot see, flailing around dangerously into the neighboring building, punching large holes into it.

Rolled 3 (1d20)

>>261751
Wait it out, the skinny dude has good cover and a gun so we can't engage yet.

>>261751
Isn't the number in the orange square our exp? Shouldn't it be 135/200?

>>261751
Move somewhere else, Squirt Poison onto Dora and throw her at sunglasses.

>>261903
[[Sorry, that's a mistake yeah.]]

>>261912
[[Include a roll]]

Rolled 14 (1d20)

>>261912
[[forgot roll]]
>>261923
[[Sorry, I'm the guy who always forgets his rolls]]

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>>261876
>>261930
You try waiting it out, but you've been spotted! He fires a shot at you, but misses. The gunfire startles pedestrians, who are now running away. You retaliate by coating Dora in your venomous bodily fluids and tossing her at the window; you're too weak to hurt him doing this, but manage to make him duck for cover, and now there's a poisoned body blocking his vantage point.

The big guy is still wailing and took an additional two poison damage. Your scorpion powers have faded.

Rolled 7 (1d20)

>>262018
Start moving towards the big guy while staying relatively covered, we need to take him out before the poison wears off.

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>>262031
He's moving around the corner and you follow in close, but even though he's still dealing with the effects of the poison, he has detected you, and begins to lumber in your direction in a frustrated rage.

Off in the distance you hear police sirens.

Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>262450
We should back out, dip into the alleyways. If the police are coming they'll at least find the big guy and take him away, if not heavily damage him, and if we stick around we can finish the job if they don't.

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>>263221
Obese, irritated, exhausted, and mourning, the big guy has no chance of catching you. Multiple cop cruisers speed in and surround him; however, the cops come are only briefly hostile. Soon, you notice one officer handing him what appears to be a sketchpad and pencil, and then later a hankie and a hug. You back away further, and then back into a lamppost. On it, you notice a wanted notice "FOR QUATRO HOMICIDIO AND PRACTICE OF DARK MAGICS, A 500 GBP REWARD FOR ANYONE LEADING TO THE ARRESTO OF ASHY JENKEM".

Rolled 4 (1d20)

Oooooh, 500 GBP? That'll get me quite a few rare pepes.

Turn myself in.

Rolled 16 (1d20)

>>263609
Time to run far away.

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Rolled 10 (1d20)

I wanna leave Mexico now.

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>>263665
>>263678
>>263692
Now a wanted wanted man, you realize that your time in Peru must come to an end. You take one last look at the beautiful slums and desert and all the wonderful memories of child-killing it brings, then depart. Child-killing... damn, Dora had that map on her which might have proven useful right now, but she is probably being prepared for burial right now.

Walking down the endless roads, you notice a few signs. Closest are the deep, thriving jungles of Bolivia and Brazil, where you might discover a legendary Incan Pepe. Further, you see a sign for Rio de Janeiro, a booming city, albeit infected with the new isoform of Zika virus, known to turn people into cannibalistic huezombies. Furthest of all, you could reach the US-Mexican border, but getting over The Wall will prove quite difficult. Alternatively, you could just continue moving aimlessly and see what Kek has in store for you.

Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>263714
Break through the wall and run to the USA.

Rolled 11 (1d20)

>>263714
Our name is Ashy Jenkem, we're white as fuck, Trump will let us come over the wall for sure.

Rolled 1 (1d20)

>>263714
Head down to Chile and make way to Antarctica

>>263834
FUCK me

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>>263719
>>263797
>>263834
You decide to head directly El Norte to the esteemed land of America, huffing it by foot. After a couple hundred miles, you encounter a nice sized truck parked on the side of the road, driver seemingly preoccupied with something. He doesn't see you, at least not yet. You might be able to get a ride...

Rolled 13 (1d20)

>>263972
Get on and if you feel the Truck turning at all, get off immediately.

Rolled 20 (1d20)

>>263972
The trucks green color reminds you the pepes you yearn for, filling you with a sudden comfort. You just want to crawl up in the back and take a nice, long El Siesta.

>>265604
Cartel hideout here we come! I bet their hording all the best pepes anyways.

>>263972
OP where are you I need my tendies

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>>264160
>>265604
>>265613
>>265811
You sneak into the cargo trailer, and immediately the truck begins moving, almost as if the driver was waiting just for you. It's cool and dark inside, and when you find the light switch you discover that you're in a refrigerated tendies delivery truck. While you lack the tools to open the individual crates open, one had apparently toppled over, spilling its delicious, breaded contents out. You take the three tendies that still look clean, and enjoy a smooth ride. About to doze off, you realize that a rare graffiti Pepe adorns one side of the trailer, and you record it in your Pepedex.

After a relaxing nap, you wake up and realize the truck has stopped. The driver's door slams, and you hear someone fidgeting with the back door. You hide behind the crates, but is it enough to not be noticed? Or do you perhaps stop the driver?

[[If you want to take any action in addition to simply hiding, roll two D20s, the first for maintenance of a hidden state, the second for success of a stealth action.]]

>>267746
[[Forgot the HUD, consider your mana recharged to 20/20, health is still 30/30. I'll grant 25 EXP for the Pepe as well.]]

Rolled 14, 16 = 30 (2d20)

>>267746
First roll to remain hidden, then the second roll to charge forward and attempt to stab the driver in the face.

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>>267793
The driver never saw what was coming as you deftly strike him through the temple, killing him instantly. You move him to the back of the cargo, peek outside of the door, then leave after taking his ID and keys. Continuing to drive you realize you may need them, as you notice a sign stating that there will be a mandatory border stop and search as you cross from Colombia into Panama in just 50 miles.

Do you try to fake it? Leave the truck behind and try another method? Something else?

Rolled 14 (1d20)

>>268010
First, use the scroll and attempt to use your heightened powers to open the boxes

>>268062
You manage to peel one box open partially, scraping the top tendie out of it.

Rolled 20 (1d20)

>>268010
Take his hat, clothes, anything that might make us look more like his ID picture, make sure his corpse is completely out of view, and try to bluff our way in.

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>>268241
You pull off to the side and look for anything you can find. In addition to all of his identifying information and clothing, you pocket 20 GBP from his wallet. Taking a deep breath, you pull up to the checkpoint, clearing your mind and staying completely calm. A man in a uniform approaches the window:

"Hello Señor, passport please"

"Here you go sir, hope everything's in order."

"Hmm, yes, everything looks fine Mr. Camilo Vargas. What do you transportrar?"

"I work for El Tiras Admiras, we regularly deliver high quality breaded chicken along those route."

"I see your unit is refrigerated, just allow me to take a rapidho peak inside... yes, yes, looks fine. I notice that your Biometric ID has some kind of problemo though, it doesn't seem to match everything else you have. Just allow me to fijar that... un momento... yes, all working now. Sorry for any problems, have a great one!"

"Not at all, buen día to you too."

With that you drive off, having completely assumed truck driver Camilo Vargas' identity, making you at little risk of your crimes in Peru catching up with Mr. Ashy Jenkem, and now halfway to America. You gain 15 EXP.

However, nothing is completely clean. Looking through Vargas' contacts on his phone, it suddenly begins to vibrate, with an incoming call from "Papá". Do you answer?

Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>268254
Yes, try to bluff it again, and whatever happens, take the first opportunity to replace the cars number plates.

Rolled 4 (1d20)

Toss that shit they can track phone calls

Rolled 19 (1d20)

>>268261

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>>268258
>>268261
>>268263
You consider answering the call, but figure you've already pushed your luck enough. You toss it out into some field when no one is around, and continue on your way.

The little problems never seem to stop, however. You're noticing that you need to refuel the truck, but as you approach civilization, you notice an increasing number of cholos walking around, eyeing you, no doubt hungry for some tendies should they discover your cargo. If you stop now while still somewhat on the outskirts, you could maybe siphon some gas from an unfortunate driver, or just hitch a ride. Your leather jacket still commands some respect among the criminal youth, but would it be enough to avoid a conflict? Or do you feel like shedding more blood, whether to defend yourself or to wet your appetite for the grotesque?

Rolled 7 (1d20)

Nah no unnecessary bloodshed unless there's rare pepes at stake. Let's siphon some gas and gtfo

Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>268291
Disguise ourselves, then sell the truck to the shadiest people we can find for pocket change 'yo esse want this truck for 10 bucks no questions'. Then call in as the guy we are pretending to be, say our truck was stolen, and ditch the id. We continue on foot.

Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>268291
Ask around and try to find a cholo or two that wants to join our cause. Promise them adventure and some of the loot

>>260325
Is this the same Google Maps Quest as the one with the flags and the Dusit?

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>>268299
>>272351
>>272360
A small group of cholos as your truck sputters to a halt just outside of their home. You twist your trucker's hat around backwards in front of them, unbutton your shirt, and introduce yourself.

"How do you do, fellow cholos?"

The one closest to you immediately gets up from his squatting position and spits on your face.

"Who the fuck do you think you're kidding, pendejo?"

"I do not understand the problem. I wish to make a peaceful transaction with you, my brothers. We are one, esse. Might you be interested in this truck? It runs spectacularly."

"I don't want your ugly green truck, puta. I want you to turn around with that rusted piece of shit or there's going to be trouble."

"If I could just borrow a little petrol I would be more than happy to..."

He interrupts you mid-offer, headbutting you with his unbelievably spiky hair, causing 2 damage.

>>272380
[[Think of it as a spiritual successor.]]

Rolled 2, 5 + 5 = 12 (2d6 + 5)

>>272435
Use scroll and attack them with our tail and trench knife.

Rolled 18 (1d20)

Headbutt him back, avoiding his hair. You need to establish dominance.

>>272477
this. Yell about how if he just would have listened you would have offered him a great deal. He would have wanted to take this deal, if only he had listened. Why didn't he listen?

Rolled 7 (1d20)

>>272500

Rolled 14 (1d20)

>>272503

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>>272472
>>272477
>>272500
>>272503
You fly into a rage, stabbing, stinging, and headbutting all at once. Only your headbutt is successful, and gives the guy in the front a decent nosebleed.

"Bet you wish you took my offer now, eh esse? Next time use your head for THINKING, ohohoho."

The two in the back are too bored to enter the fight yet. "Waste this goofball, Juan." one shouts, before squatting back down to sip on some pulque. After a quick spicy dance, the pointy-haired one proceeds to slap you upside the face, dealing an additional 5 damage.

Rolled 13 (1d20)

>>272528
reveal knife
stab in eye

>>272532
[[For weapons, roll the corresponding die in addition to the D20 success roll, so in this case of the knife do a 2D6.]]

Rolled 1, 1 = 2 (2d6)

>>272540
Gotcha, would have been great to leave him on 1hp with a missing eye though

Rolled 6, 4 + 5 = 15 (2d6 + 5)

>>272528

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>>272532
>>272549
>>272557
You fail to blind him, but the potential doesn't fail to scare. "AH, Chico, Pablo, this motherfucker almost took out my eyes!" as he pours blood from his face. The two guys in the back get up and begin moving towards you. "No one hurts Juan!"

Despite being seriously injured, the poor bloody fellow manages a strong punch to your stomach, dealing 7 damage.

Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>272573
"I just wanted to give you my truck, why are you making me do this!" while continuing to stab away.

Rolled 9 (1d20)

>>272573
Try to defuse the situation. Say "Escuchame, putas. No one has to get hurt. I could kill your spiky haired friend right now if you still want to fight!"

Rolled 16 (1d20)

>>272573
Apologize and negotiate. It's never too late to reason. Maybe these gentlemen can be persuaded with our tendy stock.

NEW THREAD
>>279151