Google Maps Quest, Rare Pepe Edition - Part 3

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[[Oops, uploaded the picture before hitting 'Save' after entering HP/MP]]

Rolled 15, 14 = 29 (2d20)

>>279159
Pray to Kek to cure the curse. Then try to buy scorpion tits to improve our persuasive capabilities

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>>279304
Kek's eyes glow warmly and he lets out a healthy laugh. You feel all of your fatigue wash away, and are now it peak fighting performance. He has recovered your health and mana as well.

The wizard says that 20 GBP is a fair price for the spell, and gives you the scroll. He tells you that not only will it be useful in persuading men, it will also provide some natural damage resistance if used in combat.

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You continue on your way, and reach a major junction. Due to The Wall(tm), reaching the United States by foot will not be a trivial pursuit, and will likely take some form of espionage or collaboration with drug runners, terrorists, or political fanatics. If you head straight or left, it will lead you to the desert south of Texas, or to Tijuana, respectively. Alternatively, you can head right and reach the Gulf of Mexico, and try arriving on the East Coast by boat. That holds higher risks of being stranded on an island, being captured as a refugee by the navy, or other dangerous events.

Which path do you choose?

Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>279489
Pray to Kek one last time for good luck and continue northward on foot

Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>279949
Boats are shit. Go to Tijuana and try to get close to a drug lord to help you out

Rolled 9 (1d20)

>>279949
Ask Serket where she wishes us to go.

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>>279951
>>280010
Serket wishes for you to avoid the sea, that's no place for a scorpion. Or at least, you think that's Serket speaking to you. It's like you're going through monstergirl puberty and your hormones are all out of wack, you might just being going insane.

Feeling confident that the desert has your answers, you head straight for Tijuana and try to find a way to work your way into the lucrative drug market. After all, the construction of The Wall(tm) has severely limited the import of party drugs to San Diegan teenie-boppers, so prices are higher than ever. You find a house with several cars parked in front and an underground component, a likely site for drug activities. Playing it natural, you just wait for someone to come out, then take a leisurely stroll, your trucker's clothing all straightened, your face determined but not desperate.

A well-dressed man notes your attire and approaches you. "Hey, sir, are you a truck driver by any chance!"

"Was, sir, but it was stolen by cholos and now I'm just working part time in a chicken farm."

"Well, how would you like to get back into the delivery business? I have some packages that I need delivered to the other side of town, pronto, and my old driver isn't here right now. Nothing too heavy, just a couple of these cardboard boxes. I'll need to check your documentation showing that you really are a truck driver, and because I don't know you yet I'm going to have my friend here, Angel, accompany you to make sure it doesn't get lost."

Angel nods and smiles at you excitedly, "Ay, I can't drive so great, my hands move too fast, you see?", before rapidly throwing several punches in the air.

The businessman resumes, "So, are you interested? Successful completion of the job will pay 30 GBP, and guarantee a safe job from that point onwards."

>>280797
Take the job, we are not strong enough to handle them currently.

>>280797
Yea take the job

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>>280832
>>280958
You agree, and the man shakes your hand.

"That settles that! I hope to see you again, Mr. Vargas.", before leaving accompanied in a new Mercedes.

Angel quickly guides you to an old beat-up Ford Taurus, "No need to keep people waiting, time is money!" and before you know it you're driving. Angel is quick to make small talk.

"Any girlfriend, wife, kids, Mr. Vargas?"

"No, sir, my mother is my only family"

"Ah, that's a shame, it's great to have a family that needs you, something to really remind you of why you do what you do. In a way, our business is a family though, we're all really close. And you take care of your mama? That's great, I'm glad to hear it, my mama, she died during childbirth of my youngest sister, bless her soul. Anyways, I've got a wife and three strong sons all of my own, my pride and joy, I would do anything for them. You would do anything for your mother, I'd imagine?"

You fail to mention that it was your mother that took care of you well into your 20s, but nod solemnly nonetheless. On your side there is what appears to be some kind of legal agency, not on the intended target, but Angel asks you to pull over.

"Ah, I have some quick business here. You probably won't need this, but just in case, take this."

He hands you a loaded .38 Colt Cobra, carrying six shots.

"Whatever happens, do NOT abandon the car, understand amigo? I'll just be a minute, and if there's trouble you can always yell or honk."

With that, he leaves with a small briefcase in his hand, and starts talking to a man behind a counter.

In the meantime, you notice three men headed straight for your location off in the distance.

What do you do?

>>280989
Wait, keep the gun in your hand and prepare your scrolls but do not say them.

Rolled 3 (1d20)

>>280989
Pray to Serket that they won't hurt you

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>>280997
>>281075
You pray for the best, but it never seems to work out that way. When you open your eyes from prayer, the one in the center has his gun pointed right at you, and the two on his sides are both headed straight for an unsuspecting Angel.

What now?

Rolled 3 (1d20)

>>281106
Scream "NICE STERNUM, YOU EARNED 'EM" and attempt to fire at him.

Rolled 7 (1d20)

>>281118
>a fucking 3

Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>281118
This but try to persuade him to lower his weapon. Accentuate your scorpion breasts

>>281118
>>281122
[[Sorry, forgot to give you the Colt's weapon damage. Roll 3D6 and that will determine the damage inflicted, prior to modification by the 1D20 success roll already made.]]

Rolled 1, 4, 4 = 9 (3d6)

>>281151

>>281148
Yeah, let's do this.

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>>281118
>>281122
>>281148
>>281161
You quickly shout out your spell word, activating your sexy carapace armor. Your rock-hard breasts managed to partially deflect the bullet hitting you, causing 10 damage. You immediately return fire, causing 9 damage back. You then taunt him sexily a little bit, swaying your chest and hips back and forth, confusion on rapidly growing on his exasperated face.

Unfortunately, shouting out your spellword gave Angel less than a second to react. Quite fortunately, on the other hand, both are clearly unaccustomed to wielding blunt weapons, the one with the baton dealing only 1 damage, the one with the bat dealing 5.

Rolled 1, 4, 5 = 10 (3d6)

>>281185
Shoot and duck.

Rolled 14 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>281185
This >>281195
(Trench knife is probably a way better weapon since it's 2d6+5 though)

Rolled 2, 4, 1 = 7 (3d6)

>>281210
woops tried to roll 3d6 in the same post, ignore the 3

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>>281195
>>281210
>>281215
You fire again, and quickly take cover, managing another 9 points of damage on the gun-wielder, who in turn fails to hit you with his return fire. While hidden, you feel your carapace fade back to its human form, however.

The next round, the two goons beating on Angel aren't so incompetent, the one with the bat dealing 14 damage, and the one with the baton 8. Angel shows off his crazy-fast reflexes, attacking both men for 10 and 11 damage respectively with a blur of gleaming metal.

"TO THE DEATH, FOR PAPA TORTILLA!!!", one of them shouts. The violence only seems to make them stronger and more emboldened.

Rolled 2, 4, 6 = 12 (3d6)

>>281248

>>281248
>>281267
Also rolling to attack them.

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>>281267
>>281284
You fire straight and true, the last bullet hitting the gunman dead center, causing him to stumble and almost survive, but ultimately killing him. You gain 25 EXP, bringing you to level 3.

>You may choose to upgrade one of the following stats:

>(1) Combat (concerns health, defense, damage, etc)
>(1) Stealth (concerns ability to hide, run away, etc)
>(1) Conversation (concerns ability to trade, convince, lie, etc)
>(1) Manipulation (concerns ability to use items and interact with the world environment)
>(2) Magic (concerns the usage of spells)

Angel's attackers realize this is the end, and put every bit of energy they can into their attacks, bat-man dealing 13 damage, baton-man dealing 5. Angel is taken aback slightly, and only manages 6 and 9 damage, respectively.

[[Make sure to specify which attacker you target next since neither is attacking you.]]

Rolled 5, 1 + 5 = 11 (2d6 + 5)

>>281330
Combat.

Charge at them, screaming Sting Wide, Keratin Bride before attacking them with our tail and trench knife.
What do we roll for scorpion tail attack?

>>281330
>>281353
Our target is 14 health guy if we roll for scorpion tail attack, 10 health guy otherwise.

>>281353
>>281357
[[For scorpion attack and all magic just roll a 1D20 and I'll interpret accordingly to the spell's ability. You should roll a 1D20 anyways to determine the overall success of the attack.]]

Rolled 12 (1d20)

>>281379
Alright

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>>281387
The last couple fall with ease, your venomous tail nearly decapitating your target, and the baton-wielding man barely managing an attack at all, dealing only 1 damage before Angel destroys him, which you now realize he managed with a pair of steel nunchucks.

"Are you OK, Angel? What the hell just happened?"

"Agh... the Tortilla Gang is upset, they think this is their territory but that was their mistake. Father Pinto has held this district for generations, and we're not giving it up. Now, back to business..."

He turns towards the man at the counter, currently soaked in his own bodily fluids. The man quickly hands over an unknown sum of GBP to Angel, who places it into the briefcase and leaves.

"Shouldn't you see a doctor?"

"No time, the package MUST be delivered."

You know better than to question him, and are about to continue on your way. Before you do that, you pick up 25 GBP left on the corpses. Also available is a 1D10+4 baseball bat, a 1D8 baton, and a 3D6 HiPoint 9mm containing 4 bullets, if you wish to pick them up.

>>281444
Loot them all and leave.

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>>281457
You take everything of value you can find, and then continue your quest. You approach a small restaurant on the edge of town, and Angel tells you to so deliver the cardboard boxes to the front. The proprietor notes your approach and then sees Angel waving from the inside of the car, then nods and accepts them. A few larger men quickly take them to a back room, and you return to the car.

"Well, Mr. Vargas -- after what we went through I'll just call you Camilo now -- here's your pay, 50 GBP. That was good shooting back there, and I'd love to see you operate again in the future. Just take me back home so we can both get stitched up, and we can make our next move."

You gain 25 more EXP for successful completion of the mission.

[[Going to bed now, let me know if there are any miscellaneous actions people would like to have performed before the next mission, like asking civvies about the gang wars, doing some sneaking around, buying/selling stuff, etc.

You currently have 75 GBP on hand in total.]]

>>281505
Inventory pic would be appreciated

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>>281636

>>281505
Ask people about where we can find rare pepes
Also find a marketplace and see if we can find better equipment. Shit we left Dora behind in Peru didn't we?

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>>285380
You and Angel stop by home base to patch up, but you tell him that you want to purchase some things before your next mission. There's a nearby marketplace that seemingly has everything you could imagine; weapons of the most illicit nature, spiced tendies in a hundred flavors, protectable muachachas, and more.

One beautifully mustached man calls you over, "Ayy señor, what do you desire?"

[[To ask for special deals or locations of good Pepes, roll a 1D20 to see how well it goes.]]

Rolled 7 (1d20)

>>285401
Ask about rare Pepes, and see if he has any tendie dipping sauces we can afford.

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>>285432
"Hmm, sorry señor, haven't seen any Pepes in a while, can't help you there. I have a great many tendies, however, just look! These are some of my more popular flavors, but believe me, I have many more! If you have something particular in mind, I can probably find it!"

Rolled 13 (1d20)

>>285465
Shout "NICE STERNUM, YOU EARNED 'EM", try to get a discount on the acid tendie, and then go on a vision quest for rare pepes

>>285476
"W-w-well, I certainly would love to see you as a regular here! Tell you what dama, I'll give you a discount, just 20GBP for the acid tendie, what do you say?"

"That would be wonderful, deary, thank you so much!", bowing to reveal cleavage of your chitinous tits.

"Take it responsibly, the effects can be quite pronounced! I saw one man eat one right in front of me, and pretty soon he was bent over on the floor, praising Kek's name while a burro fucked him, completely unaware until he woke up."

You now have 55 GBP and an acid tendie, which you are eager to taste.

[[Roll a 1D20 to determine the quality of the trip.]]

Rolled 3 (1d20)

>>285483
Aight

>>285485
shiieeet

Rolled 12 (1d20)

>>285483

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>>285485
>>285491
You leave and just begin walking, when suddenly you start to feel a little funny. Turning to your left, you see two doors jutting out of the sidewalk, one of them open, the other shut. Do you wish to go through either?

Rolled 7 (1d20)

>>285500
Serket guide us!

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>>285508
The sky seems to darken and you're feeling slightly dizzy. Surely your steadfast belief in Serket will keep you steady? Suddenly, the form of a scorpion girl far cuter than yourself appears before you.

"Teehee, it's been so fun watching you, underling. You pray and pray, yet I only observe. Why do you seek out the Rare Pepes? Do you hold Kek higher than myself? Ultimately, what do you REALLY seek in life? Answer me this and I shall guide you through the door meant for you, but even I do not know your truth."

>>285522
I mean I want to be a scorpion girl but one that collects rare pepes.

>>285522
We seek pepes and a god tier waifu to breed with

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>>285533
>>285540
"You're steadfast in what you want, but I still don't understand why you want it. The door already-open is clearly the door for you."

With that, it opens wider, blinding light from within obscuring your surroundings and pulling you in.

Suddenly, you lose all sensation except consciousness and possibly vertigo. Something large and intimidating is materializing before you, but you can't make out quite what it is. What is the one item you would like before this object or being reveals its form?

Rolled 9 (1d20)

>>285543
a scorpion dildo no homo

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>>285550
Colors flash before your eyes and suddenly you find a large, undulating scorpion dildo in your tightened fist. A beautiful scorpion girl emerges from the radiant blur and descends upon you, legs spread open. Suddenly you are tired, and as much as you desire to engage in mutual scorpiongirl love with her, you feel unable to. You lapse in and out of consciousness until eventually you wake up in a driveway, covered in semen. People are eyeing you with disgust and you get the impression you aren't welcome here.

The trip was definitely a life-changing moment and you can't wait to blog about how you spoke to God and expanded your mind past mere human sensations on Erowid, but you're not yet certain exactly what significance it has had otherwise.

[[30 EXP gained. Going to bed now, let me know if you're ready for another gang-related mission or if you want to do something else.]]

>>285561
wew lad
Let's do a mission. Stats on the dildo?