Why are all discord servers the exact same autism?

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Is it because I happen to join ones with autistic channers or is it a *natural* lifecycle for a discord server to go from:
>small, comfy, casual
TO
>20 rooms, all dead
>4-8 BOTS
>autistic mods who spend all their times telling people not to go "off topic"
>everybody on 10s different ones so not committed to contributing apart from 5-10 minutes spurs

after a while all ending up deadtowns with the 2-3 friends just checking up on each other once per day or posting the one pic for attention.

Now I've seen exceptions, where the opposite is true and makes it equally as bad: ie tiny servers with the same 5-10 people in it since forever just living off inertia and inside jokes and "memes", making them essentially toxic to newcomers.

I don't even fire up my discord on a daily basis anymore desu.