Kids are like asscancer

>>817576
This is partially why millenials are the spoonfed dumbshits with the survival instincts of a domestic cow.

OP needs to man up and teach his kids some shit and do some fucking parenting like an adult instead of being stressed that children are ruining "muh survival immershun".

>>817579
This

>>817576
Kids need to get out more. They need some scrapes and cuts. Everybody is so fucking soft these days. Just like OP.

>>817576
Fuck off you moron this is /out/ go back to r9k

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>>817580
Pokemon GO, our saivour

Thank you google

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Proud of you all

>>817579
>his kids
>implying that fags reproduce

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>>817576

>encouraging children to become self-absorbed insiders
>basically the opposite of /out/

Sperg your autism elsewhere.

>>>/b/
>>>/r9k/

>>817579
>>817580
>>817583
>>817692
itt: retards miss the obvious sarcasm
>for the love of good don't expose them to the dangers of your backyard or even Elements like rain

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>not having /out/door kids
Ur a faget, took the oldest (6) on his first overnighter earlier this year. 6 hour walk up to the top with many snack breaks to enjoy the view.

Heh, my kids are 6 4 and 1 and we live in national forests. Get bent OP sorry your parents did it wrong, and on that note im also sorry most current parents are doing it wrong.
>ope we had kids better work 60 hr weeks and have them in school and daycare
>we are super responsible adults raising the next generation right
Itd be funny if it werent so fucking horrible

For once OP is not a fag.
Children fucking suck. Leave your little slobberling shitbags the fuck at home .
I especially hate when these shitbag parents bring kids into a nice restaurant.
Protip you breeder shitfucks: if it does not say family dining on the sign, your kids are not welcome.

>>817746
Unh uhhh bitch my 8 year old in minions clothes that cant speak and shits his pants is way more entitled to your fancy 'rest ront'

>>817749
>that cant speak and shits his pants
like father like tard

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I'm the "outdoors" guy in my extended family. Whenever someone gets the idea to take their shitbag kid camping, they drag me along with the idea that I'll pass on some wisdom or something.

The kids in question have invariably lived incredibly sheltered lives and have basically never set foot outdoors, or ever been exposed to anything that might cause them injury. Nor have they ever been disciplined, because yelling at a kid or smacking them on the back of the hand when they're being an obnoxious destructive shit is scarring them for life and might get the kid to narc them out to child protection services or something.

So inevitably when they go outside these little monsters immediately grab the most dangerous object they can get their hands on and start running around like savages. If you tell them to stop they ignore you. Probably make eye contact and make a stupid grin first, then do whatever the fuck they were doing even more flagrantly just to demonstrate that they are disobeying you and they know it.

Their parents either ignore the entire debacle, or maybe halfheartedly whisper for them to please stop. Please. They are basically meekly begging their child to obey them, which only invites the mocking contempt the kid shows all adults. Then of course I have to be the asshole and raise my voice at them.

This changes everything.

The shitbag kid has never once had a man raise their voice in their presence and wilts into a blubbering sobbing mess of tears and snot. Camping/fishing/swimming/cookout/whatever ruined.

As a kid, if I fucked up I got yelled at. If I really fucked up I got the belt. I learned discipline and obedience through fear and pain. Disobeying my parents was unthinkable when I was a kid. Pain is the body's natural feedback mechanism: if something hurts you stop doing it. Thereafter, anticipation of pain is sufficient to discourage the behavior.

I got my first hatchet and swiss army knife when I was six. My father gave me the hatchet, my grandfather gave me the knife. If it wasn't raining, I was outdoors, in the woods. If I stuck around the yard I'd have to do chores so I got the fuck out of there. So I was basically wandering around in woods that went on for miles with sharp tools and no supervision from a young age because I was responsible enough to do so without causing myself or anyone else injury. This freedom was born of fear and pain, both of which children these days are utterly insulated from.

>>817764
I feel your pain anon. So many kids now are such pure shit now that I dont give a fuck about ANY kid. I have no idea if your kid is a good one or a shit one, just having them there ruins whatever is going on because you never know when they might start crying or being assholes.
I love to overreact if they bump my chair or something and make the little fuckers cry.
God damn I hate kids.

>>817764
That blows. I'm like the last generation where it was still cool to spank your kids if they were being a little shit. There's an age where you can't hit them though and have to let them learn the consequences themselves or let their concious deal with it, and I think parents going beyond that line fucked everything up.

Gotta have that one scary grandma as a kid too, I had the Russian one who I was afraid to piss off.

>>817760
>like father like 90% of kids in the country
Ftfy

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>>817719
awesome! looking forward to when mine's big enough to go that far so i can carry a tent, etc. instead of him. but we're still having fun in the meantime.

also
>people still not getting that op is satire

>>817797
Fuck off breeder scum

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>>817802
you're going to have to work harder than that to hurt my feelings. :)

>>817804
You deserve the pain that is coming when your wife has a midlife crisis and moves away with your kids and you never get to see them anymore except at christmas.
You will get the privilege of paying child support though so there is that.
Live it up chump, your time will come.

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>>817805
better, but still a rehash of everything i hear here. but here's some oc for the effort. :)

>>817806
You will look at these pictures and cry tears of great sorrow and loss someday.

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>>817809
lel this fukken guy again. idunno why you harass dad-anon so. you got some big chip on your shoulder

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>>817809
sorry anon, but you misspelled joy and welcoming when i have a daughter-in-law. gonna weep like the day he was born when that happens.

>>817815
You know down deep that there is a good chance it wont go like that...but better keep a stiff upper lip here on the 4chan since you have put yourself out there already.
You can see the cracks in your relationship starting already. Not so big that they are not manageable but you will look back and think how you should have paid more attention to the warning signs.

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>>817818
all wrong. sorry. but i'm sure you're having a fantastic time "going your own way". you certainly don't sound bitter about it. ;)

on the subject og "going", we went to colorado a couple months ago. he got a cold. poor kiddo was tuckered out. :(

>>817822
>>817822
>all wrong
Is that all you have?
Oh boy, might be coming sooner that I though.
But dont worry , you will probably be fine until your wife hits about 36 or so.
If you cut your losses and dont have more kids you might be able to have a second act after the divorce.

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>>817825
>Is that all you have?
not really much else to say when it's all wrong. 10 years in, crack-free. :)

>>817814
Needs a MAGA hat

>>817576
>I hate children outdoor
i hate the little fuckers anywhere

>>817837
The fact that you think there are zero imperfections is a pretty bit red flag to be honest anon.
Femanon here, things are never that perfect. You have a cute family though!

To me, it is a constant war between hating kids (mostly because they make so much noise) and being comforted by the fact that at least their parents are taking them outdoors and trying (possibly failing) to get them to appreciate nature.

I think kids deserve our patience. We were all asscancers at one time too. Some of us still are.

>>818082
Shocker here, some people are actually in healthy, 100% positive relationships. I know its hard to believe what with society breeding you guys to self destruct.

>>818103
Its the shit parents who dont deserve our patience.

>>817579
This. OP is a spoiled manpussy, probably likes the d. And they wonder, why is the EU sucking dick of the muslim scum....

>>818112
agreed

>be staying at a campground last summer
>in one of the sites right on the river
>people next to us are 20-something stoners, somewhere between poor white trash and early-career yuppies
>always have a drink in one hand, even in the morning
>smoking pot in their tent and being lazy all day
>never leave the campground to do anything in the area, just sit around all the time it seems
>they have a ~5yr old daughter with them
>she spends most of her time alone playing in the dirt or swinging sticks around
>one day I'm hanging out down by the river
>she climbs down the rocks with a minnow net and starts fishing right next to me
>i switch places with her so she has a better spot and give her some tips to outsmart the minnows
>we have fun fishin' for about 10mins
>her dad appears and yells at her to come back up to their site
>looks at me like i ate her pussy or something
>never see her laugh and play for the rest of trip
those people fucking sucked. not that the kid was annoying at all, but if she was i'd direct 100% of my annoyance at them

>>818297
>smoking pot
>around a five year old

I think that drug laws are retarded, but I'd have called a ranger on that shit.

>>818302
it was a private campground... but idunno i guess i prolly should been more enraged

>>817708
>I was only pretending guys
There's shit heads that believe in Chem trails and autism from vaccines someone misunderstanding acid rain is not far-fetched.

>>817809
And you will constantly live in bitterness and sorrow until you kys?

>>818082
>zero imperfections
I'd assume he's not mentioning the little things that are not really a problem but do exist. If you list them it sounds really petty, even though they're not really a big deal.

>>818107
>some people are actually in healthy, 100% positive relationships.
This. The only thing is (speaking from personal experience and other observed couples) most people would consider it boring. There's not really that much to tell.
Most of the stories you read online about relationships are about horrible ones with outrage causing circumstances, or people gushing over their new relationship they're ecstatic about (which is often not the best sign, both for what it reflects about the relationship but also what it reflects about the person.) That's only counting the ones that aren't made up or greatly embellished, which is like >80% of the stories online. You never hear about the stable ones because nothing that interesting or rage-inducing happens and they are boring as dogshit to anyone that isn't the couple.

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>>817576
dude, children are like women you need to beat them on a regular basis.
Slapping don't work? Get a electric dog collar.

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>>818997
breddy edgy there anon

>>819002
Hes right though, or are you one of those retarded sjws who says in the calmest voice possible, "baby, baby, please stop screaming at mommy baby. Baby, please stop." as your 8 year old breaks down into incoherent rage at walmart when you wont buy him the new angry birds tshirt?

>>819009
Well first of all, I don't think women should be beaten, and children need one really really bad rare "worst punished ever" that they fear for when they really fuggup or pull some fucked-up shit they know is wrong. I think spankings and whüppings are good for that. A fucking "beating" is not what it should be though, not should it be "on a regular basis". You're trying to raise a well-adjusted healthy adult, not a psychopath.

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>>819013
Fair enough.

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>>819013
WRONG! What is your major malfunction?

>>818107
The only positive relationships that last over 20 years are between simpletons who basically never grow or change.

>>817771
thank god your basement dwelling neckbeard fat ass never managed to to procreate

>>819013
Can confirm. Was belted once and only once.

i hate that going outdoors take so much energy to convince myself to go, then i go and it is the happiest time, then i go him and so tired i go to sleep,wake up next morning charrishing the memory, but remember how tired and beat i was so its harder to do it next time, how do i combat this?

>>819090
cocaine?

>>819090
15mg Adderall
400mg caffeine

>>819079
>tfw don't even have a basement
Such is Florida. I have to deal with sunlight and people.

And we still have time, I'm not shootin blanks yet. I should show you some pics of my goddaughter. She's a lil redhead, maybe her smile would brighten up your life!

>>818997
>no earpro

>>819002
>bismuth
Sure is a good thing this isn't /v/

>>819319

Is it your wife's kid?

Parent-anons, how old were your kids when you first took them camping?

I have a 2 year old, but outside of building a fire and sleeping in a tent, I have no idea what else she can do. It's not like a day hike, hunting, or fishing are going to work out for her.

>>819643

>I have a 2 year old, but outside of building a fire and sleeping in a tent, I have no idea what else she can do.


Tell us more about the fires she builds

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>>819646

>>819643
Most kids love animals.
Take her bird watching or on an easy nature walk to see things like deer or rabbits.

Coastal walks are always good for getting out and exercising, you can skim by the rock pools and collect shells or poke fun at crabs with sticks.
A favourite thing of mine when I was a kid was standing on the seaweed and making it do fart noises... So yeah, kids will love that shit.

>>819643
Make stick dolls, build a shelter, its never too early to teach your kid. My 4 and 6 year old build snares and catch and dress their own small game. They build their own shelters, collect firewood, dig shitter trenches, climb trees, forage etc. Pretty much anything you take the time to teach her she will learn.