Give me your headcanons /mlp/ no matter how retarded they may be.

>>30735322
Luna is lactose intolerant.

>>30735322
The mane 6 are all around 24 years of age
The average mare stands about 160cm from hoof to head, excluding horn

>>30735322
eqg isn't canon.

>>30735333
OP said headcanons, not canon

>>30735322
Twilight is in a coma and the new seasons are all her dreamz.

>>30735333
Trips confirm.

>>30735322
Starlight is an alicorn her wings are just invisible

>>30735322
EQG Dash and Pinkie don't wear underwear.

>>30735333
Despite compelling evidence that eqg is associated with mlp I want to believe it isn't.

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>>30735322
Shimmy is afraid of wooden curtain rings, metallic or plastic ones are fine, she can even be in the same room with wooden ones without panicking, it's also fine as long as they aren't attached to the pole, she can play with them just fine, but as soon as they start to move with the curtain on the pole and make clack noises she runs as fast and far as her legs can carry her.

Fizzlepop Berrytwist wants to be a boy.

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>>30735322
The mane 6 are direct descendants of the founders of Equestria.

>>30735322
Chrysalis hasn't lost all of her changelings, just a bunch. She can make a new hive which won't fall victim to the love mumbo-jumbo.

>>30735322
Twilight used to wear those big thick glasses SciTwi wears back when she was a teenager.
Starlight is older than the rest of the Manes by quite a few years.
Sunset is an orphan, while Starlight only has a single dad.
Starswirl is still out there somewhere.

I refuse to acknowledge that anything past Season 3 happened and only follow my own head canon where Twilight doesn't have wings

>>30735322
Unicorn pussy is the tightest.

>>30735322
Sunset didn't have sex with Flash.

>>30735322
Angel is so angry cause he got a vasectomy.

>>30735376
The first two sound cool.

>>30735322
Fluttershy and RD have been good friends since at least their school years.

>>30735331
>The mane 6 are all around 24 years of age
Also this. This might be me trying to compensate for my own age mid-twenties[/url], though.

Starlight and Trixie have a plot to take over Equestria.
I also think Starlight and Trixie are in their 30's while the mane 6 are all in their 20's.

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>>30735322
Nightmare Takeover timeline was actually Past Sins universe

Estrus is controlled.
With magiks, proper meds, or potions, mares don't become sexually driven to fuck colts unless they are about to get married.

Fluttershy has be desensitized to gore. Considering the fact that she watches over animals and respects nature, she has seen more deaths with animals than any other pony.

Trixie was once a colt.

AJ's parents aren't dead. They are what happened to Arnold's parents in Hey Arnold. Lost in some place possibly helping other ponies at another society.

Starlight Glimmer has been a time traveler before the reformation to better her magic and life. Ever time she does something catastrophic or endangers herself, she would go back in time, kill herself, and try again until she gets it right.

>>30735462
last one is bullshit, time travelling is extremely limited without the cutie map

>>30735478
Not unless it is done in a short period. With the map she went way back in time. I'm talking about like a day or so like twilight used. But perfected so she could stay. If you could go back in time once everyday, you could theoretically make the perfect day and make it the way you want to.

>>30735462
>AJ's parents aren't dead. They are what happened to Arnold's parents in Hey Arnold. Lost in some place possibly helping other ponies at another society.
This is a fate worse than death.

>>30735322
Princess Celestia and Princess Luna have primordial parents and are the status equivalent of Zeus in pony mythos.

>>30735322
>>30735326
Ever since I watched friendship is witchcraft, I enjoyed the headcanon of Luna's hooves smelling like cream cheese. It's even kinda hot.

I'm a weird fucker.

>>30735522
if it's the same scroll as the one from "it's about time", it only let's you use it once and only lasts for a few moments, so no

>>30735331
>The average mare stands about 160cm head to hoof
Those're some big poners, anon. What makes you prefer that size?

>>30735538
>Glimmer goes to the past.
>Future Glimmer kills off past Glimmer and stays in the past somehow.
>Past Glimmer has Scroll unused.
>Future Glimmer now has Scroll.
>Unlimited Scroll usage.

Bruh.

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>>30735322

The nation of Equestria is exactly 1480 years old as of the series premiere, with Celestia and Luna being just over 2000, assuming they're the same age.

Celestia takes in students as her personal protege because she's attempting to find an heir to the throne. Dozens of ponies in the past has either left, become too power-hungry, or simply failed attempting to defeat villains. Twilight was finally the success, having passed all tests & ascended.

Starswirl the Bearded, having a time travel spell, is responsible for at least some events happening in FiM, like Tirek's escape from Tartarus.

The prophesy from the first episode "The Stars will aid in her escape, and she will bring about night time eternal", is Twilight, Starlight, Starswirl, and somepony else releasing Nightmare Moon, using some kind of powerful magic to fulfill the prophecy, along with Starswirl's aforementioned time travel spell.

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>>30735531
Maybe should have accompanied with pic related. Wish there was more artwork exploring this concept.

>>30735322
Most Equestrian 'technology' is basically magical black-boxes produced by appropriately-talented ponies. They're not separate components linked together to produce a final product, but a single spell created by a pony with the given talent - roughly the same way Rarity just produced a gem-finding spell, except enchanted into an object.

On the upside, this means ponies can produce wondrous creations in their particular talent. On the downside, they're the only ones who really understand how it works. Each is a one-off, custom product; mass-replication is nigh-impossible and even servicing a broken product is tricky at best. Their only hope is to inspire enough other ponies into similar talents before they die, eventually 'mainstreaming' a given technology.

>>30735347
Kek

>>30735565
>stays in the past somehow
breh

>>30735322
Luna's eye crusties can be used as a potent ingredient to make the world's strongest sleeping aid, and is largely sought after by insomniacs across the globe.

In the RGRE-verse, the reason why stallions are protected like they're the weaker sex isn't only because they are rare, but because they are actually the weaker sex.
Despite having more muscle-mass on average, it's effectively for peacocking since real strength for ponies comes from their magic reserves, and mares on average have more magic.
So even though Big is strong for a stallion, Maud is stronger despite her slighter frame because she has way more magic to fuel her earth pony strength.
Thunderlane has a bigger wingspan and flight muscles than Dash, but she has more pegasus magic.
And unicorn mares just have more magic for spell casting.
There might be exceptions to the rule, but generally, mares are more magical and thus must defend their defenseless studs. Heck, the extra muscle just makes them bigger, and more filling, targets. Silly stallions.

>>30735547
I'm 6'7 in real life

>>30735643
>Mary Sue character.
Brah

EQG IS CANON

>>30735766
ren & stimpy pls

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>>30735322
Celestia is a megalomaniac warmongerer who drains resources from nearby country through conquest and, subsequently, either willingful or forced enslavement. This deed she does in order to bring about paradise in Equestria which she unsuccessfully tries to indoctrinate foals into believing is the only existing country in the world and stepping out of its bounds would result in dropping from the Earth - which she also claims in loosely applied propaganda to be flat. Even the hardest working of ponies, Earth ponies, aren't supposed to be doing that exhausting a job. The chaotic mess that is Ponyville she has infiltrated with her unknowing protegee to keep an eye on, ensuring Applejack burn-out scenarios and whatnot don't occur to the point of ponies knowing sufficient amounts of pain as to question the perfection of the world they inhabit. The goal of it all is for the Princess of the Sun to feel good about herself, as despite appearances she is a sensitive mare who couldn't bear to receive the complaints of every distressed citizen in the whole country under the pretense that as mover of the sun, she must be all-powerful, although she doesn't admit this side of her to herself. All this plan she had conjured up in her head as far back as when she banished Luna for a thousand years, making her the one and only figure everypony looks up to and ensuring that upon returning, her mindbroken sister treats her like the Stockholm syndrome abuser she is and vows to never hate her again.

>>30735322
Sunset and Sunburst are siblings and Sunset is afraid of rollercoasters.

>>30735322
Horse pussy can melt steel beams

>>30735944
That's fucking stupid.

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>>30735969
Delet dis

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>>30735986
With OP's blessing I accept my idiocy

>>30735322
Elements of harmony don't exist, the pony universe is just as boring as our world, and the story is being told by Celestia who is a school teacher reading to her kids.

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>>30735322
Twilight briefly goes into avatar mode when she orgasms

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Celestia hated the Gala because it was something Luna loved and it reminded her of her lost sister

Luna wasn't at the season 1 gala because she felt too ashamed. Celestia was like WHY EVEN GIVE A FUCK when she couldn't convince Luna to come

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Let's talk about retarded headcanons:
>Tyrantlestia

I am so glad that every bit of Celestia's characterization in the show has killed this headcanon dead.

She is so much better as a sly trickster who genuinely believes the values she's instilled into her ponies. She's an ancient hero who's survived with pluck and the strength of the friendships she's forged; not a god.

>>30736065
>She's an ancient hero
So what special characteristics does being a hero entail? How does virtual immortality fit into this headcanon, as we know ponies grow old and die? Is it a characteristic of her being, or is it some ancient magic that without it she'd be like every other pony in their succumbing to time?

Elaborate please.

Rd has depression,

>>30736326
Explain?

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>>30736081
According to the Journal of Two Sisters, the Sun and Moon rejuvenate their magic. That's the most likely answer.

I wouldn't have minded if she was a god but Tyrantlestia is garbage because it's contra the major themes of the show. RIP all those early season fics (and MAS, lel) that pushed this meme.

>>30736397
No, I agree with you anon. Tyrantlestia is a silly idea, though I really like where you're going with this hero idea and feels like it could push genuine theories and not just whatever the fuck theories. The royal diarchy (though I suppose it's a quadarchy now) seems to fit much better with the Princesses being heroes of old who earned their right to rule, rather than simply appearing as OP gods. It might also lend credence to the stories of their old battles with old foes like Tirek, Discord and others who share the similar concept of great power and seeming immortality (with Discord himself essentially being a god in his own right).

I don't know. I like this idea of yours though.

celestia is evil.

>>30735322
Ninja exist and have been working behind the scenes for a long time now. We just haven't seen them overtly acting. Some background ponies may secretly be ninja.

>>30736065
>>30736397
>>30736433
As a Sunfag, joking tyrantlestia never bothered me. It was silly shit, obviously not meant to be taken seriously, and good for a joke. Exaggerated/absurd character interpretations can be good for some comedy.

And then there were the people who genuinely believed it. Hell, I know a guy who to this day is refuses to believe anything but that Celestia was personally responsible for driving ponies away from Luna before she became Nightmare - deliberately trying to isolate her. It's fucking weird.

>>30736474
Autism is a powerful and mysterious force of the universe, friend.

>>30736474
Same. I met a guy a couple of years ago that believed that Celestia had pegasi death squads hiding in the clouds to make sure that nobody ever spoke badly of her, and that's why no one in the show tells you that she's a tyrant.

>>30736054
I like this.

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Molestia, is secretly the true third sister of Celestia and Luna.

>>30736355

trust me i'm trying the hard-ist(if that's an word) i can, i can't Explain sadly,is too long and i have may miss spelled alot,

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The EQG universe isn't the real human dimension; they're a whole other species. There's another portal that leads to our world. In fact, Celestia has an entire room which she lets NOBODY into where she keeps like 50 other mirror portals all to different worlds and dimensions, it's just that EQG is the safest to go to because of every pony having a doppleganger there.

>>30735370
Not a headcanon.
http://mlp.wikia.com/wiki/To_Change_a_Changeling

>>30735322

Rarity wears diapers for sexual gratification.

>>30735322
Ponies don't kiss
Their snouts simply make it too uncomfortable for it to ever have developed into something couples do.
Instead they rub noses together in Eskimo kisses and nuzzle as an alternative to kissing.

Changlings have been genetically engineering ponies for thousands if years. They change into a female and collect the sperm from loving males and then turn into males and deposit the loving sperm it a loving female. Over thousands of years the ponies went from a hateful angry race to the most loving of all.

Tl;Dr equestria is the happy loving place it is because changlings made it that way

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>>30735322
Bat ponies are a tottaly diffrent race from and not just enchanted pegassi
They have a russian accent,like squating while eating sunflower seeds and drinking hard cider
They also have a changeling infestation but thats not a problem because they ve learned how to smell them from a mile away
Most bat ponies outside of their homeland are usually changelings in disguise unless they re part of moonies guard
This has led to the belief that all bat ponies are actually changeling role players,not only that but the changelings give them a bad reputation

>>30735322
I ship RD with Big Mac.

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>>30735322
I have a headcanon that Equestria is the only place that exists in FiM's universe. Created by some sort of god, or even a man. Maybe somebody decided to create a universe they considered to be the most beautiful and happy place for anybody to live in.They created evil, so that the inhabitants could know true happiness. They created the Tree, Elements, and Spirits of Harmony to protect against that evil. Weather doesn't work on it's own so that the Pegasi would have to work together to make the entire sky system function. Food can grow, but to a much larger extent when Earth Ponies help it, and it's much easier to farm if you're not doing it alone. The sun and moon can't move on their own because their original intent was to have the Unicorns team up to control them.

Anybody that opted in to the supposed paradise was injected into the simulation near the end of humanity's existence and shot into deep space, never to be disturbed.

Though it put too much stress on the Unicorns, and even ended up killing more than a few of them, it brought them together nonetheless. The original point of Alicorns was more or less a failsafe, because though the three races would definitely fulfill their tasks, the creators couldn't know for how long. As a result, Alicorns were created as strong, benevolent, intelligent, and long lasting creatures, to ensure a happy future, and everything went according to plan. Now any member of any race (pony or not) could be or do whatever they wanted in a land where they were protected from evil, and bound to laws that only consist of "don't hurt anybody". Sounds nice, doesn't it? Shame, knowing that even if this were to happen, it won't in our lifetime.

...Well okay, less of a headcanon, and more "what I think would be an interesting possibility".

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>>30736909
>hermaphrodite roaches keep equestria happy

>>30736909
Interesting, but the changelings becoming love-filled multicoloured creatures kind of rules it out

I still like it though

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>>30735322
Rainbow Dash is in love with Rarity

>>30735322
Alicorns have the features of all different kinds of ponies. This includes both mares and stallions.

>>30737161
back to mlpg with you

>>30735322
Pinkie is in a time loop which resets right before the pilot when she dies and she knows exactly how to manipulate events to stop the time loop from resetting. This also explains why she becomes more crazy as the show goes on from getting so far and then dying again

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>>30736326

>>30735322
Ponies are 3 feet tall.

>>30735322
Being a princess and being an alicorn aren't mutually inclusive. Becoming an alicorn requires special magic, and the title of "prince" or "princess" can be granted to anypony who proves themselves worthy of it.

Twilight's transformation into an alicorn was caused by her using Starswirl's spell and the Elements of Harmony. Celestia didn't start the process, but she helped ease Twilight through it. Her subsequent coronation as a princess was a decision Celestia made in recognition of all her accomplishments and her worthiness as a leader.

>>30735365
woah
now that I think about it, that actually makes sense

>>30737508
What was Cadence's worthiness criteria, then? Like, isn't her speciality love magic or something? But how does that translate into being worthy to become a princess alicorn? Do we even have any knowledge regarding Cadence's ascenscion to royalty?

>>30735462
Pretty sure AJ's parents are definitely dead. I really want to see an episode where they go into exactly what happened and what the aftermath was like for AJ/Big Mac/Applebloom. That would be really interesting.

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>>30736694
>because of every pony having a doppelganger there
I can't remember if i'm remembering the laws of time travel right, but wouldn't that actually make it the most unsafe dimension/world go to to? Unless there's some parallel universe portal that leads to a dimension where they're all the same ponies

>>30737508
Explain Blueblood, then.

>>30735583
The idea that Twi/Starlight/Beardy have to travel back in time to "rewrite" the past sounds really cool. If you havne't seen Steins;Gate I really suggest you watch it cause it's very similar to that in some regards. I would watch the English dub though (it's professionally produced and really good; my friends usually only watch subs but they told me the dub was better).

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Celestia and Luna just want to go back to the realm they came from and not be bothered by all those silly, needy ponies.

>>30737575
>but wouldn't that actually make it the most unsafe dimension/world go to to?
Why? Conventional arguemtns about the dangers of time travel rely on the premise that you are the same person as the person you meet in the past. They're going to an entirely alternate dimension/universier which means that they're not the same person, though they may perhaps be based off the same character/personality/spirit or whatever. There would not necessarily be any issues regarding continu9ty or whatver the problem is .

>>30736694
Or the EQG universe isn't a real universe at all. It's a pocket dimension that revolves around a high school version of Equestria. There is no passage of time or a gradual progression from one stage of life to the next. No one ages, they just sorta come and go based on where their pony counterparts are in life. Pony Luna gets banished to the moon for a thousand years, Human Celestia spends an indeterminate amount of time as the school's only principal. Pony Luna returns, suddenly there's a vice principal and no one questions it. No one dies, they just "graduate" or "transfer" out of the school. There is no human Sunset because pony Sunset has been there so long that there is no pony Sunset for the mirror to produce a reflection of.

That's why the portal is only a mirror on the Equestrian side. It only reflects one way.

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Starswirl created the windigos out of the souls of sirens to force the 3 tribes to settle their differences

>>30737508
That's not a headcanon, it's the elements of harmony that blast Twilight into the ascension plane, and then the magic that tranforms her comes from within her.

>>30737074
>shot into deep space, never to be disturbed.
The whole "simulation capsule shot into space" never sits well with me because as much as there's a chance everything will be fine, there's an equal chance the thing is going to go slamming into an asteroid or some random space debris. All that gone with no warning and no real way to predict or plan for it. Plus, what happens when the things starts breaking down? No material lasts forever. What kind of fucking mental hellscape does something like that turn into when the components start breaking down or you start getting bugs.

>>30735331
This is headcanons shared by all VA's and at least Meghan and Amy Rogers used to refer to them as "grown ups" So it's basically canon.

>>30735322
Discord is actually still a virgin

Fluttershy has secret feelings for him

DJ Pon3 and Rarity are somehow related.

>>30736694
But it was canon in Reflection arc

>>30735351
You're gonna have to explain this one to me.

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>>30738398
Vinyl Scratch and Shining Armour are somehow related, and therefore so is Vinyl and Twilight.

>>30735322
Zecora is actually evil and we will see a battle of forest vs ponies.

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Sunburst will go on to start a School for Gifted Ponies in the Crystal Empire.

Dash is completely straight and becomes enraged when someone assumes she is a lesbian.

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Tempest was born female and continues to be so.

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Applejack finds the idea of incest repulsive, as does Big Mac. They both have healthy relationships away from the farm.

Also, Applejack is intelligent. Not Twilight intelligent, but she is very proficient at arithmetic and managing her business and her friends often go to her when they want advice or answers given in a simple, easy to unpack way.

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The best headcanon I've found yet.
>>30735322

Sombra impaled his enemies on crystals around his palace.

Luna being gone for a thousand years and no one there to fulfill dreamwalking duties is the reason why the majority of the pony population in Equestria is mentally unstable.

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>>30735322
>Celestia nad Luna are barely over 1000 years old, when they defeated Discord they were in their mid 20s or something like that.

>Luna was unconscious during her banishment, thus she retained her sanity.

>Discord was conscious whole time, he went sane and insane many times during his imprisonment, he's even more chaotic now than he was 1000 years ago, but he lost a lot of his "evilness"

>Cutie marks don't restrict pony i any way, it's their society and culture pressuring them so much into having their "special" talents that they unconsciously limit their own innate magic to only their talent.

>Luna and Celestia are rather weak, they are only a little physically stronger than average pony (Bigger but less activity), aren't that good flyers and have magic of maybe few unicorns combined, so while they have more experince than anyone alive they could still be defeated by team of trained ponies

>Their soon and moon aren't real celestial bodies, they move instantly when magic is used (light needs 8 minutes to travel from sun to earth) and could be moved by team of few unicorns, also Discord's fuckery with them would destroy whole world if they wieghted as much as ours, so either they are really small and really close, or they are some kinds of magicall constructs

>Earth ponies don't have any kind of super strength or endurance, (Iron Pony competition and Running of the Leaves), they only show those things when doing something related to their special talents

>Equestria is in peace for so long because they produce and export so much food that other countries are dependent on them

>Princesses aren't benevolent, they are good ponies and good leaders, but sometimes they need to do bad things to ensure safety of their country

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Luna is asexual and Celestia drowns herself too much into work to get laid.

>>30735365
I would like to adopt this headcanon

>>30736065
>>30736081
>>30736397
>>30736433
>>30736474

Let my show you autism.

Luna and Celestia were young when they defeated Discord, in their twenties. Either they were born as alicorns or they ascended then. They were just pair of young sisters that suddenly went form being some adventurers to rulling whole country, young females with big dreams and big ideals. Their country was in the state of dissaray and chaos, but thanks to magic it took them not that long to patch it up. But whole situation probably put a lot of stress on both of them.

But then came realisation that they would rule Equestria for a very long time. So they needed to choose how they want to shape Equestria, because thanks to their long lifes and almost absolute power given to them by other ponies they could create whatever they wanted.
And their visions were different. Both genuinely believed in their ideals, they wanted only the best for their ponies but the saw that is "the best" in different ways. While celestia was more about peacefful coexistence and doing everything to prevent conflict, often even backing down, Luna believed that while peace is great, they shouldn't back down every time and if situation demanded they should push back. Celestia believed that military forces aren't really needed and they can accomplish anything by friendship, Luna thought that working military is pretty important.
And we need to remember that change in Equestrian government weren't unnoticed by other nations, everyone probably tried to test young princessess, to see if they are good leaders and exploit them in any way they could.

So we have starting conflict between sisters, we need to member that they weren't some benevolent creatures in those time, just pair of young ponies thrusted into politics.

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>>30735376
It's actually very likely that Starlight is older than the Mane 6. Her voice is clearly deeper.

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>>30738927 (cont)
Then comes realisation that immortality isn't all that good, they see other ponies dying and realise that one day eveyrone they love would be dead that their lovers or husbands would die one die (yes I believe thet thay have some love interst when they were younger). So even more stress here.

Then Sombra situation, after their failure Luna believed that if they resolve it her way (sending army to dethrone Sombra) rhey would save lives of many ponies and decided that Celestia is unfit to rule. Her rebellion started. It wasn't on as big scale as let's say USA Civil War, but it lasted few months and few thousands ponies died.

It wasn't that much about other ponies not liking her (it played a role too, Celestia not always was silent about what she thinks about Luna's ideas so it could turned some poneis against moon pony), but more about conflicting ideas of two rulers.

At some time during war, thanks to all that stress Luna went insane and transformed into NMM.

After some fighting Luna was defeated and send to moon, Celestia was really remorsefull and after a lot of thinking and a lot of time decided to use some of Luna ideas, still she mostly her own, but made some correction to her initial plan.

Celestia wasn't some tyrant, but she wasn't benevolent from very beginning either, there were a lot of factors that lead to Luna transforming into NMM.

Among the current alicorns, Celestia holds the largest amount of magic power by a huge margin, however, she's a terrible combatant.

Luna is much weaker than her sister pure power-wise but she's an extraordinary proficient fighter and would win the one-on-one battle easily.

NMM doesn't hold any extra magical power over Luna, she just has her mentality shifted, thus making her willing to actually do harm to others.

Starlight, while still being a real genius in magic, won't last a minute in a serious morals-off fight against Twilight - prep time or not.

Similarly, morals-off Luna can take on Twilight and win.

Pinkie is above Discord power-wise, but she finds no fun in forcing her vision onto the world, so she limits herself to innocent pranks. And the reason she had never used her powers when it really mattered is her being a capable precog who knew her intervention wasn't necessary.

Even after having his magic "stolen" by Tirek, Discord could've still fixed everything with a snap of a finger as his powers go far beyond the "magic" Tirek can steal. The reason he didn't do that was the mere shock from Tirek's betrayal and him realizing his own mistakes.

>>30738879
>>Cutie marks don't restrict pony i any way, it's their society and culture pressuring them so much into having their "special" talents that they unconsciously limit their own innate magic to only their talent.
I could be completely off the mark here because I don't pay attention during CMC episodes, but my headcanon is that the cutie marks signal a pony's destiny, not necessarily any talents they might have.

>>30738941
Ah, power levels wankery. I like to think that in terms of abilities, Twilight is now physically capable of being faster than most pegasi and stronger than most earth ponies, something all alicorns share that makes them the superior race suited for ruling over others. However in terms of raw magical power, she might be weaker than both OG alicorn princesses, Starlight, maybe even Flurry and Trixie. But her knowledge about magic is second to none, surpassing Sunburst's and possibly starting to approach Starswirl's level.

>>30738941
wew power levels

Celestia have the most of juice and experience in using magic. Hovewer she isn't trained fighter and her raw power is equivalent of 8-12 strong unicorns (not average joe, but someone trained and magic, like top 5% of all unicorns, same for others).

Luna is somewhat better fighter, but she never was master in it. Also a lot of her knowledge is outdated and while there wasn't any big revolution in magic over 1000 years some things evolved. She is good at it but not best. Less juice than Celestia, 5-7 unicorns. Still would win.

Twilight is shitty at fighting, she never focused at it, and don't have thtat much power. She's well educated but still nowhere near both sisters. She's simply too young, in her twenties, there is a lot she still can learn. Powerlevel
3-5 unicorns.

Starlight quite good fighter. Not master but she trained enought to know few tricks. Have less power than alicorns, 2-3 unicorns.

>>30739014
Many of the stuff Twilight has done in the show seem like would take massive amounts of raw magic. Shifting gravity, time travelling, swapping cutiemarks/destinies, freezing an entire village, teleporting multiple ponies, to name a few, looks like no joke

>>30739145
Oddly enough, all of her magical feats related to raw power happened when she was a unicorn. Not counting the fight with Tirek (she had all of the alicorn magic, not just hers), her magic hasn't been all that impressive since MMC. I'd say either her overall power was nerfed by that point, or becoming an alicorn didn't actually make her more powerful beyond being able to fly and do whatever the hell earth ponies are capable of doing.

>>30739235
She magically froze a bunch fighting ponies and sustained the effect long enough for Fluttershy to tell a story in The Hooffields and McColts episode.
It looks like something that's much harder to do than just levitating something very heavy.

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>>30735322
Maud has 4 different rock pets, all of them called "Boulder" in English.

Latin American Spanish version of the series has a small "inconsistency" problem on Boulder's name, as it's called 'Piedra', 'Peñasco', 'Roca' and 'Boulder' on different episodes. To solve this, and asumming infallibility of my dub as the autistic nationalist I am, Maud shall have 4 different rock pets, all of them translated as "Boulder" in English.

Glimmer is a time travelling Flurry Heart, that went insane after having her wings surgically removed due to being too big to the point she couldn't even stand anymore. She still keeps the OP magic powers, though

>>30735338
So are you telling me 'A Perfect Pear' didn't happen?
I'm calling your headcanon bullshit.

>>30735426
They're trying to feel out if Maud would be in as well. She's got a kick-ass lair, she's strong as fuck and she knows rock facts.

>>30738930
How do you have negative children?

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Alicorns have a life cycle that lasts thousands of years, but they are not immortal. Celestia reached her peak around the time she banished Luna to the moon and has been on a slow and steady decline ever since. This is why she has personally taken on students over the centuries and why she relies on the mane 6 to take care of the occasional big baddie instead of doing it herself. Also, every alicorn has an dark counterpart inside that takes physical form given the right circumstances.

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>>30736460
>may

>>30740111
This makes sense and I actually like this theory. It would actually explain why sunbutt always gets BTFO'd or captured in every season 2 parter.

>>30739518

Applejack told Twilight briefly about her parents and twilight's brain filled in the rest.

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Celestia is actually a Faust's self-insert because she always wanted to have a feminist nation where males are either guards, villains or retards.

>>30740178
>>>/r9k/
>>>/pol/
>>>/lgbt/
>>>/justfuckingleave/

>>30740289
boop

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Daybreaker and Nightmare Moon were born into an alicorn cult who intended to use them as weapons to conquer ponykind. When the three tribes put aside their differences and united to form Equestria they had a change of heart and abandoned their masters. Soon after, Starswirl the Bearded found them, cleansed them of any remaining evil magic, and took them in as his students. They took upon themselves new names and called themselves Celestia and Luna.

Angel the bunny is one of the Anons who found a way into Equestria but he cannot change back into a human.

Why do you think he's a dick all the damn time?

Yellow quiet mentions he sweet. The only reason for this because it is the closest he'll ever get to be with a pony that could love him back.

Fluttershy isn't his favorite pony.

>>30740717
Who is his favorite pony?

>>30740730
Probably Rarity.

>>30735944
achtung
buttblasted celestiafags incoming

>>30736909

I...LIKE this.

Chrysalis is a corrupted and warped alicorn sister.

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>>30735322
The flower trio are actually part of some kind of ancient society of flower ponies bent on saving Equestria. However, they're not the chosen ones so they're never that powerful. They play stupid most of the time to let the mane 6 save the day from the big threats but the flower ponies actually handle most of what wanders out of the everfree forest while the the mane 6 doing their big, world saving quests or traveling

after reading "a heartshaped record" i have adopted the idea of Vinyl not talking because she has a problem on her throat and It hurts to her when she talks.

Alicorn tears have magical propeties that can be used for healing

cutie marks are able to change when something important happens

Rainbow Dash is a little bit afraid of the floor.

Pinkie Pie knows she is a cartoon character, and is constantly trying to escape.

>>30739448
Hi there friend, i watch the show on Latin American too!

good idea tho, sounds intresting

>>30735322
op is a fag

>>30741227
OP said 'headcanons'

>>30735365
Rarity would have a title if that were true.

>>30741254

could be descended from a 2nd or younger son who didn't get a title, or a bastard.

>>30741254
being a descendant from a king/queen/princess/whatever doesn't give you a title.


Also, those three "goverments" where fused into one, and later Celestia and Luna became princesses. whatever title Rarity should have, she Lost It against the princesses.

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The final confrontation between Celestia and Luna occurred after a lengthy war which brought death and suffering to all pony kind.

After banishing Luna/Nightmare Moon to the moon, Celestia was heartbroken, and abandoned the Castle of the Pony Sisters, which led to it eventually falling into ruin. She went and hid herself in the mountains, grieving for her sister for 300 years, mechanically raising the sun and the moon each day.

In the meantime, absent the influence of the elements of harmony, the three pony tribes, Pegasus, Unicorn, and Earth Pony, fell under the influence of beings like the Sirens and the Wendigos, resulting in further strife and conflict, until the events described in the Hearth's Warming Legend and the foundation of Canterlot.

Since there was no ruler, a sort of aristocracy formed from among the Unicorns, and they managed the affairs of Equestrian for a while. Prince Blueblood is a descendant of that aristocracy, and not actually of any blood relation to Celestia or Luna.

Celestia formed the plan to reverse her sister's eternal banishment, and learned that she would have to be patient a further few centuries before "the stars could aid her escape". Celestia herself was the author of (pic related).

To put her plan into action, she had to rule again, so she left her self-imposed exile and traveled to Canterlot. There she was initially dismissed as a harmless crank, and then a nuisance, and finally a dangerous revolutionary before publicly demonstrating her mastery over the sun and the moon, which forced the aristocracy to acknowledge that the throne properly belonged to her.

Celestia then concentrated on just governance, and on watching for and cultivating candidates who would become The Elements of Harmony.

There were failures of course, notably Sunset Shimmer, but Celestia persevered, knowing that the celestial congregation of stars would soon occur, and that she could once more be reunited with her beloved sister.

>>30741323
Sunset Shimmer really wouldn't fit in FIM's lore, Celestia would've known that the element of magic would have the element of magic for a cutiemark and wouldn't chosen her as her pupil. EQG seems more effortless the more you think about it.

>>30739448
I like this one. Quirky, humorous, and a fun way of dealing with shitty translations.

>>30741323
>In the meantime, absent the influence of the elements of harmony, the three pony tribes, Pegasus, Unicorn, and Earth Pony, fell under the influence of beings like the Sirens and the Wendigos, resulting in further strife and conflict, until the events described in the Hearth's Warming Legend and the foundation of Canterlot.

imposible, Spike says "before the Princesses's rule..." or something like that idk.

that implyies that the sisters where together when the Ponies took them as their Princesses.

I have a couple.

Pic related (Hearth's Warming Eve, season 2) is the event that formed the Crystal Heart of the empire and is essentially what's keeping the wendigos banished. Prolonged exposure to the heart is what made the crystal ponies to begin with, why there aren't any Pegasus or Unicorn variants is unclear.

Princess Celestia having been the former bearer of the element of magic used to be extremely powerful and capable of wielding her entire magical potential without ill effect, after she lost her connection to it, she is now susceptible to magical corruption in the same way that Luna was, and so limits the use of her power to prevent it.

Starlight Glimmer, contrary to popular belief, is not on par with Twilight in magical ability. Twilight surrendered her element and much of her power with it and this is why she is no longer a powerhouse and Starlight was able to match her.

Luna's Tantabus is a malevolent cosmic entity that feeds on negative emotional energies, much in the same way a wendigo does. This indicates that magic and emotion aren't at all the separate things they appear to be. Celestia knows this and fosters friendship and general good feels because if her ponies don't it could draw in more predatory magical beings.

Some crystals being the energy conductors that they are makes the Crystal Empire the most advanced city on the planet. They also have a form of computation with crystalline circuits.

Bat ponies are from a far away land and are essentially pilgrims coming to see Luna.

>>30741278
Doesn't really make her a direct descendant then, does it?

>>30741283
The idea behind Duke/Prince Blueblood was that he is a descendant of the old Unicorn monarchy and that Canterlot used to be a unicorn city, which would explain the medieval influence of its architecture where Pegasi cities have a Greek/Roman aesthetic and Earth Ponies have that quaint little amnish architectural style that we see in Ponyville.

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>>30741462
Of course I forget the pic.

This look familiar to anyone?

>>30736909
I litterwlly hadthis same headcannon once. I once cooked up an episode idea where, SURPRISE, like 30% of the ponies living in ponyviope have been changlings this entire tim. Vinyl Scratch, Mr. Cake, one of the main 6 the works.
My nigger.

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>>30735322
Flurry Heart is the result of an unholy union between Princess Mi Amore Cadence and Starlight Glimmer.

Having access to all sorts of forbidden tomes and spells, she tried to usurp the Crystal Kingdom by sneaking one night into the princess's bedchamber while she was alone and defiled her through one of her futa spells.
Her seed was so potent that it replaced Shining Armor's already fertilized seed.

Having gotten brutally raped to the point of developing Stockholm syndrome, Cadence, out of shame, kept quiet about it and never told Shining Armor about the ordeal, Thus, preventing the royal family to lose face among their loyal subjects.

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>>30741837

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>>30741837
O-OOPS
Typo

>Her seed was so potent that it replaced Shining Armor's seed out of Cadence's already fertilized womb*

>>30738908
>asexual
Doesn't exist, lol. The only people who claim to be this are just people who can't get laid anyway.

Rarity isn't a terrible slut.

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>>30735322
Escaped Pinkie Clone

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Trixie is an alcoholic

>>30741993
She's a good slut, right?

>>30742035
Only viable headcanon here.

>>30735322
Ponies judge attractive ness based on mane color count.
More colors in you mane the uglier you are.
2 colors is an averager pony.
3 or is unpleaset or ugly.
Fluttershy solid pink = Model.
Rainbow Dash 6 separate colors = ugly as sin by pony standards. Tries to over confinsate with Athletic ability.
Celestia 4 separate colors = ugly. only love as that motherly figure. this explains why shes over 1000 years old, with magic and political power beyond most ponies imagination, and still single. (If you include the comics as cannon, she only found a date by going to an alternate reality where everything is backwards...)
Luna's Stary mane = not natural. her mane is actually solid blue. she magically dyes it Stary to prevent out showing her sister and co-ruler.
Rarity has two toned hair like her sister but started dying it at a very young age.

>>30742213
Where would that leave Twilight, considering she dyes/puts highlights in hers?

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Parent's job time!
Mr. Shy owns a pawn shop and Mrs. Shy does knitting
Rainbow Dash's dad used to be a hoofball player and her mom was a cheerleader
Twilight's mom is a school teacher and her dad I have no idea.
Applejack is redundant and Rarity's seem to be stuck in eternal vacation mode

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>>30742248
DELETE THIS

>>30742248
That's just a meme

Rarity is farsighted.

>>30742213
>>30742248
If it was cannon that Twilight dyes/highlights her mane, its only so she can be more like her beloved mentor The Homely Princess Celestia

>>30735322
Whenever Twilight and Shining had fights, it always ended with him fucking the ever loving shit out of her

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>>30742213
>Celestia
>Cadence
>Twiggles
>Luna with white stars in her hair

>Manes with many colours are so ugly that every single member of the country's royal family has them
Your headcanon is retarded.

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>>30735322
>tfw the only big headcanon/theory you had was absolutely BTFO

>>30742977
What was it?

>>30741837
>Her seed was so potent that it replaced Shining Armor's already fertilized seed.


That might explain why her wings are fucking huge

>>30741449
That's why it's headcanon you muppet.

>>30741462
You are aware of what the term "decedent" means, right?

>>30743690
You are aware of what the term "direct" means, right?

>>30743036
Changelings weren't born, every drone was a pony that had been drained of all love and thus became a mindless love hungry thrall of the original (Chrysalis).

>>30743726
I might be misunderstanding this then

So as far as I'm aware they could be the direct decedents of the founders even if they're "decedent from a 2nd or younger son who didn't get a title, or a bastard" in the same way that you're still the decedent of your grandfather even if your father/mother was his second or third born child or even if they were a bastard.

There would still be a direct genetic lineage between you and your grandfather in any case, it's just that if your parent didn't inherit a title from them then neither would you under normal circumstances.

Unless you're implying that they meant that when the poster said "could be descended from a 2nd or younger son who didn't get a title, or a bastard." that they actually meant that Rarity's lineage from a brother/sister/cousin of Princess Platinum saying that they are no longer a direct decedent of her for any other reason provided that one of her line came from the Princess directly makes absolutley no sense.

So, is that what you're saying? Are you being silly and stating the obvious that has no relation to anything anyone has said so far, or do you just not understand how the concept of genetic lineage differs from the concept of inheritance?

>>30737089
The whole love filled thing was just a ruse.

The changlings did what they do best because their hive was being attacked.

They knew that in that episode discord would have killed them without any sort of magical protection.

The elements of harmony only had to be used by the mane 6 because they were slowly running out of energy, and use by a single pony to combine powers is less taxing than a pony using a few, due to a process like automation.

The mane 6 used them more directly, like in halo when you rip a minigun off a mount.

They going back to the tree is like a cellphone recharge, and when done will be capable of weilding by the mane 6 OR the princess sisters.

In fact that may be the final episode, where those groups mix and match, have to use them again. I'd prefer princess involvement, and elements of harmony... Just to mtch the first, and the book will close.

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>>30743800
You wrote so much text, let me break it down.

The headcanon was 'they are direct descendants' If she were a direct descendant, she'd have a title, she does not, Blueblood has that title, therefore she is not a direct descendant. It's that simple.

>>30743856
Titles can be lost overtime through a direct genetic lineage for various reasons, you do realize that, right?

>>30743874
You're missing the point.

Blueblood. Has. The title. The stallion Rarity wanted to marry? Unless you're implying incest. Are you implying incest, Anon?

>>30743888
You do realize that there can be more than one genetic line of individuals in a given nation that holds the same title, right?

Unless you're suggesting that Twilight and Celestia are now related because they both hold the same title.

>>30739738
Just wait until they become teenagers.

>>30743900
So you are implying incest then.

>>30743909
No, I'm implying that there is no reason to assume that Rarity and Blueblood share any genetic history, title or no.

>>30743925
Before the unification, the Unicorns were governed by a hereditary monarchy, you dope. For the purposes of identifying a direct descendant, which is usually the 'firstborn of the firstborn', they'd be using the passing of a title rather than a surname since ponies don't have those. As Blueblood is the only one we know of with a title, we can safely say that he is the DIRECT descendant of that line, if it were Rarity, she would be the one holding that title and living in Canterlot, but she is not, she may be vestigially related to that line, but she's not the direct descendant. Again, firstborn of the firstborn denotes a direct line of descendants.

Direct, Anon, direct was the keyword here and you completely ignored it.

>>30743938
So are you implying that the only possible path of direct lineage is someone's firstborn child?

That's fucking retarded dude.

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>>30743949
I'm not implying it, I'm outright stating it. This is the last (You) you're getting from me since you seem to be too dense to understand the concept of the word "direct".

>>30735322
Ponies are not soft and fuzzy. Rather, their bodies are covered in a vinyl-like skin that squeaks when they get wet.

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>>30743982
>Dunk a pony in water
>Place finger against rump
>Drag your finger downwards
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k8sQmH2M44s

>>30743967
All I'm trying to say is that line of inheritance=/= line of decent, that titles can be gained or lost overtime, and that two people can share a title in their lineage and not be related whatsoever.

I understand what you're trying to say at this point, I just think you're stupid desu.

But we can agree to disagree, that's fine. Enjoy your night either way.

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>>30743982
>You will never scratch Vinyl Scratch's vinyl.

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Equestrian physics are radically different; their universe is not composed of atoms. It is an infinitely divisible continuum, and duplication magic (broadly including all transformation and teleportation magic) works by invoking the Banach-Tarski paradox, which says that a solid ball can be decomposed into five pieces which can be rearranged to create two balls of the same size, violating conservation of mass.

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>>30744395
>I watched a vsauce video therefore I know science

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>>30744402
I've never watched vsauce; I'm earning my PhD in mathematics. Also,
a) It's mathematics, not science
b) It's not wrong.

Ponies communicate through neighing and braying. The series, comics and other human-made artistic expressions of FiM universe use English and other human languages just so we can understand them.

Also, each race in Equestria has a different language, but they all share a common tongue to speak between them (probably the pony neighting, as they're the hegemonic superpower).

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>>30735322
Derpy, Muffins, Ditzy or whatever you want to call her: is autistic.
Fluttershy is a slut and Twilight is my wife.

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>>30744427
Sorry brah, I just like to indiscriminately tell people they're wrong about science things on the internet. 9 times out of 10 it works because, on the internet, people usually don't know what they're talking about.

Still though, you're wrong.

>>30744448
Twilight and Maud are functional autists.
Derpy is simply retarded.

>>30744455
Equestria is a 2D universe, therefore no object in Equestrian universe has mass.
That's why 'cartoon physics' don't work the same way it works in our world. They lack of gravity.

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>>30744470
Deleted because superfluous.

It's a funny thought that Equestria might be 2D. This does not mean that objects don't have mass, though; it just means that mass has the 2D-analogue that varies with the square of radius rather than the cube.

Also, levitation magic works by continually invoking Banach-Tarski to duplicate/teleport oneself infinitesimally higher, so the levitating object/pony is continually falling but continually being teleported up.

All magic is Banach-Tarski. Also, only magical sentient beings can invoke the axiom of choice that begets Banach-Tarski; this is why objects in nature do not spontaneously grow in mass or slip through themselves—magic is using the axiom of choice.

It would not be possible for me to have a more autistic headcanon.

>>30744470
But the timberwolves are animated in 3d, what about them?

>>30735322
>Equestria agrees to keep a regular day/night cycle in exchange for peace
>Fancypants is Chancellor/Prime Minister
>Internal combustion engines are rare because oil has only been discovered in limited quantities, thus also ensuring technological stagnation
>the unicorns fucked up the sun/moon with some spell in an act of hubris and had to take on the responsibility of managing them
>Equestrian black ops orchestrated the Arimaspi attack on Griffonstone to check the griffons from becoming a threat
>alicorns, including Cadance and Twilight, are immortal
>Lightning Dust was kicked out of the Wonderbolts primarily as a cya measure by Spitfire for nearly causing the princess's student and elements of harmony to get killed by poorly managing her training camp
>Tartarus is located in the heart of the Everfree Forest and is the cause of the forest's magic and shit
>everyone praising Celestia's handling of the Sombra crisis and ignoring Luna's role was the final straw that led to NMM
>The Zam was actually a Hasbro employee who tried to shill the show on /co/, hence why he bumped his own thread in a desperate bid to keep it going

>>30744032
triggered

>>30744615
I share the Fancypants, combustion engines, Lightning Dust and Sombra ones.
The rest of them sound fucked up.

>>30735583
>The prophesy from the first episode "The Stars will aid in her escape

"The Stars" is a reference to Twilight (because of her cutie mark) and that she was meant to aid Luna in escaping from being Nightmare Moon.

>>30735322
The Tree of Harmony and Discord share a common origin, as they're both phisical manifestations of opposite fundamental forces.
There also exists a Tree of Disharmony, with Elements of Disharmony and chosen Spirits of Disharmony (probably Sarlight, Trixie, Sunburst, Maud and/or Thorax(?) are part of them). Like Celestia and Luna were the first users of the Elements of Harmony, Discord was probably the first user of the Elements of Disharmony (or even an ascended being created from them). True balance will come to Equestria when both Spirits of Harmony and Disharmony reign together (that means, Starlight alicornhood as a Spirit of Disharmony).

>ITT: we invite people to share their thoughts so we can shit all over them and make fun of them

>>30745414
I think that 'the elements of disharmony' Will be a group of Villains more than a the ones you said.

Earth Pony magic isn't plant control or super strength, but rather earth control. This allows them to do things like literally grow rocks and magical gems, and inversely, easily destroy stone.
Large rocks are also lighter for Earth Ponies, and fly significantly faster when thrown. Sure, this can play into farming, but not to a significant degree. It might not seem like much compared to the other races, but like Maud said,
>"With the right stone, you could conquer Equestria.'

I guess they also have a little plant control anyway, because why not?

>>30745803
You ever wonder if there are Earth Ponies who live underground like dwarves?

>>30735351
Twilight is afraid of quesadilla's so I'm willing to accept it.

>>30745835
And get into territory disputes with Diamond Dogs and other subterranean races?

Yes. Yes I do. An underground Earth Pony village in canon would make my day. Even more so if it's a rival of Cloudsdale, who hate having to visit it occasionally.

The planet of Equestria is tidally locked. On the side of the world opposite of the nation of Equestria, there exists a sun constantly beaming down on that half of the world. However, there also exists a much smaller sun, as well as a moon.

The smaller sun in manipulated by Celestia, and she then either places it to cast light on the dark half of the world, or allows it it get eclipses by the large sun, so that the dark side of the world has night, while the day side isn't effected by another sun by having the other sun eclipse it.

The moon, while mainly useless on the dark side outside of casting moonlight, is essential for life on the day side. It eclipses the large sun to create a night for the dayside of the planet, giving it a chance to cool off and not be eternally baked.

Due to the crazy nature of such a system, terraforming on the scale ponies do is often necessary for anything outside of the ring bordering the permanent day and night portions of the globe.

>>30735322
EqG portal opens up in Medieval China, and the Chinese discover it, prompting them to swarm into Equestria and hunt all the ponies to extinction.

>>30735365
I can dig this.

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>>30735365

>>30741462
>>30741469
>Pic related (Hearth's Warming Eve, season 2) is the event that formed the Crystal Heart of the empire and is essentially what's keeping the wendigos banished.
This is my headcanon too.
I also believe that Canterlot was built over the mountain where this cave was located.
And the Crystal Heart was after relocated on the Crystal Empire, so it'll protect all of Equestria from the Frozen North, where wendigos are still active.

I believe Discord was Starswirl. Starswirl performed a spell to bump his magic levels and it went horribly perfect

>>30746504
Nah, Sunburst is (or will be? was? dunno') Starswirl.
He made a time travelling spell that fucked up, and ended 11 centuries back in time.

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>>30735322
Twilight is the result of a long, long line of eugenics performed by the Princess Celestia interbreeding the unicorn families with most potential without these realizing to create a worthy successor.
Shining Armor was an unforseen bonus that she decided to continue with adding an Alicorn creating Flurry Heart.

>>30746559
She's lived a long time. This could easily be plausible.

>>30746559
It would explain how Twilight and Shining's parents managed to go 2 for 2 at breeding royalty out of fucking nothing, that's for sure.

>>30746559
I don't like this hc specifically, though I do agree with the general premise, that Twilight is the result of Celestia manipulating events and ponies for so long until everything just aligned perfectly.

>>30746113
Heres a better one
There is a portal to equestria on earth,but its in north koreea
Kim wasnt lying when he said he found a unicorn cave

I like this thread.
I dont want it to day just yet.

>>30745432
Are you new or something?

>>30746559
>>30746705
>>30746867
So, Celestia is basically Bene Gesserit.
I can dig that.

>>30739517
Huh, never heard this one.

>>30742972
Inbred ugly as fuck royals are nothing new anon.

Each of season is a completely different alternare universe. Its the only thing that makes sense for the characters to change so radically between changing writers.

>>30743909
Real royals used to do incest like all the fucking time

>>30737108
im pretty sure she wants flutter's brutter

>>30745803
This HC is pretty gud.

Herds make up about 25% of all relationships

>>30746559
I like it a lot, and it would explain the favoritism, but why would an immortal goddess need a sucessor?

>>30746998
All the more reason to nuke the place.

>>30750038
It's never specified in the show that she's immortal, at least if I recall correctly. Maybe she is, or maybe she's like a space marine, functionally immortal but not invulnerable.

Hopefully this gets answered, honestly.

>>30749930
This and all the members of the herd are all married to each other

Anons have made it to Equestria before, but have been deemed a disease and are to be killed on sight.

>>30738659


damn thats one powerful head cannon

>>30750684
Kind of too wish-fulfill-y for me. Like, I know that's a big part of the fandom, but it's kind of why I dislike AiE RGRE, it's Anon's who feel undesired and unneeded in their real lives that want to think they'll be useful and coveted in Equestria without actually having to do anything to improve themselves.

>>30750727
I'm almost entirely certain most anons here would be Zephyr Breeze types who just need that push in the right direction and the right force. And some of dat dere pony pucci

Humans don't have monstrous dicks compared to ponies. In fact, humans are considered poor sex partners besides foreplay , which they can excel in.

>>30739738
The vertical axis is not number of children born. It is the standardized residual of age and number of children born. Intuitively, the y-coordinate is the deviation of number of children by a given age from the population mean number of children by a given age. So the chart says that the higher your voice pitch, the fewer children you can expect to have by a given age. It's probably for men, but the chart does not say, so it's worthless.

>>30746519
Can I merge minr into yours so i can make it tragic?

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>>30737212
Pinkie is not Tom Cruise.

>>30741896
I'm not sure what I'm looking at

Is he just a random guy? I'd react exactly the same way if some stranger randomly took several pictures of me

>>30751088
We got a hothead here.

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>>30735322

>>30744395
I've seen this like five times now, and it still sounds stupid every time.

>>30751698
No you haven't. I have posted it only once before, and searching the archives for "Banach" reveals that my two posts are the only ones.

So you have seen it twice.

>>30751731
On other sites.Plus in an un-archived thread from like, two-ish weeks ago.

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>>30751737
Really? I never post on other sites. Someone else has this alien and abstruse headcanon?

>>30751769
Definitely at least once or twice on this site, but there's a comic about Applejack using it to make infinite apples, and a fanficton where Spike gets cloned by the process.

undertale uni coexist with mlp uni

>>30751782
Looked at the fimfic. They get most of the math wrong.

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Equestria is an "artificial" kingdom built over a forest, permanently frozen by the windigos, immortal ice spirits.
The founders of Equestria found the Tree of Harmony deep into the forest, and used its Elements to drain the power of the windigos and create modern Equestria.
The Elements of Harmony are the only thing preventing the windigos from freezing everything again.

The Elements themselves are soul-draining monstrosities that absorb "friendship", or bonds between creatures, to destroy life. While a suficiently advanced unicorn could control the Elements, their primary function is still to syphon souls to destroy others.
The Elements, being an artificial weapon, need constant use, or they will deactivate themselves and return to tree status.

These mane 6 are not the first. Each generation, Celestia and her board of internal affairs find 6 fitting vessels for the elements of Harmony. They arrange the meeting and bind them to the Elements. This whole affair is usually kept secret, the average pony doesnt really know about the Elements.
Equestria, its armies and its intelligence agencies manage pretty much all crises without anyone knowing, leaving only either unstoppable Discord-level threats, or small regional problems, to be managed by the Elements. This ensures that Equestria is both well protected and the Elements are kept active, but not active enough to rainbow-beam people or syphon one of the main horse's souls completely.

The mane 6 will die way younger than the average horse, their history will be erased, and in a couple of decades, some pony will be lead to the "discovery" of the Elements of Harmony. That pony, with 5 other poor souls, will then stop a seemingly huge threat to Equestria, binding with the Elements and protecting Equestria for the next two decades, until they die and it starts all over again.

>>30751878
That's a very elaborate headcanon.

>>30736326
rd has astigmatisn

>>30751878
Honey, we've talked about this, you can't keep forgetting to take your meds.

Twilight Sparkle dyes her mane

Anyone want to articulate what kind of atrocities Equestria commits to fuel their sugar addiction? Sugar cane doesn't grow in the temperate kingdom of Equestria, so they probably import it from some place tropical, and with how much candy and baked goods they eat, they probably want it in bulk and for cheap.
That sort of thing usually comes at the expense of the ones producing the sugar.

>>30751908
>Implying that suger canes aren't grown by Earth Ponies using their magic to grow them right at home in Equestria, regardless of climate.

>>30735322
MLP universe is around WWI but with magic, therefore they are more advanced in one fields than other. For example spears but also trains and computing machines.

Equestria is pretty feudal for such advancement.

Luna was literally enchanted into the Moon.

>>30735365
Headcanon accepted.

>>30742309
i wouldnt call that a headcanon
its pretty implied with her reading glasses

>>30751878
This headcanon sounds pretty interesting, and somewhat similar (but darker) to mine here >>30746427.
However, it'd work better if Elements of Harmony, as well as the Crystal Heart, channel friendship energy rather than syphon it.

>>30751908
You can also make sugar from eggplants, and they grow in temperate weather.

>>30751930
I'd say more like 18th ot 19th century.
Manehattan has a lot of Art Deco style, however, so I can't tell for sure.

>>30735322
Alicorns are long-lived but not immortal. Celestia ascends exemplary ponies like Twilight and Cadance so that Equestria will have leaders and role models once she's gone.

>>30735322
At least half of the mane six are multilingual.

>>30737798
Makes sense...

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There never were any windigoes. It's just a fable that growed over ages, like many others in Equestria (because they live in fantasy world it's a lot easier for them to belivie in such stories).
In reality it was climate change that drove ponies form their previous lands into Equestria. Some stayed and created crystal heart to survive (thought a lot of them died before they invented it, Crystal Empire is mostly earth pony country because they breed much more than your average pegasus or unicorn, so they were capable of rebuilding their population while others not).

In the place where Equestria is now there were other countires, griphons, maybe some diamond dog empire or something, but because of climate change they were unable to survive, Equestrian soil never was that good and with cold weather widespread starvation hit them and their countries collapsed, some of them moved to other places, and some would never return to their former glory (diamand dogs).
But ponies thanks to their magic and plant growing abilities were able to survive in the land unhabitable for others, so they settled where Equestria is now and build their country. In few centuries climate warmed and Equestria turned from slighty less frozen wasteland into green and prosperous country.

Twilight is still just as autistic as she was in season 1-2. The only difference now is that she's learned to hide her autism and be a bit more outgoing. In private though, wew, she's autist mcgee

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>>30752325
>"Twilight, are you reading during a party... again?"
This quote might confirm your headcanon.

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>>30737798
Headcanon adopted; it is the only way I have seen for EqG as a thing to not be fundamentally stupid.

>>30752319
Windigo's myth has a strong conection with the whole 'friendship' phylosophy of the Equestrian kingdom, and the fact of a stable, functional society with so many racial, economic and cultural differences between earth ponies, unicorns and pegasus:

>"Equestria’s founding myth, depicted in “Hearth’s Warming Eve”, likely has some basis in historical fact. “Windigoes”, beings who feed off hatred to create cold, wintery conditions in Equestria, are almost certainly fictional, as no episode depicts a temperature drop when there is conflict. Similar to the “Myth of the Metals”, the myth of the Windigoes acts as Equestria’s “Noble Lie” by discouraging disputes between the sub-species and encouraging everypony to accept their place in society."
https://www.overthinkingit.com/2012/11/08/my-little-pony-plato/

>>30739448
Lmao, im hispanic and i didnt know that.

>>30752643
You either see an unworthy version of the show (like the gringo or the 'eshpañolete' ones), or aren't autistic enought to notice the sightly differences between terms on each episode ("Día de los Corazones Cálidos" vs. "Día de la Fogata")

>>30752883
I've seen it a few times, feels weird how they use the names while talking spanish, like it should but feels weird nonetheless
Where is MLP being dubbed?

>>30752967
They're dubbed in Mexico City, by SDI Media.
Maggie Vera, the dubbing directress, is also the VA of Fluttershy and Scootaloo.

Clover the Clever was a unicorn supremacist who attempted to install a government based on her beliefs but failed. This was stricken from history by Celestia to help ponies accept her ideas of harmony and friendship for the ages.

Also, pegasi mate while in the air traditionally and it makes the other tribes uncomfortable.

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>>30753039
>Also, pegasi mate while in the air traditionally and it makes the other tribes uncomfortable.
This. I like this. I like this very much.

Spike doesn't have wings because the experimentation by Celestia's students in his egg state rendered him physically abnormal compared to most dragons. This also gave him his magic fire breath.

Celestia and Luna's life are tied to the sun and the moon so very far into the future when the sun runs out of fuel Celestia will die.

Luna will live on but that's why she is weaker.

>>30740111
Hi yes I will adopt this headcanon

>>30752045
I say around WWI to simplify it, but I assume their current advancement is between the Great War and Victorian Era.

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>>30742213
>Derpy more attractive than almost 70% of the ponies
I like this headcanon

>tfw your waifu makes herself look ugly on prupose

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the main 6 are 15 years old and their pussy is at the height of my dick

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Lyra likes to eat spiders.

>>30740111
I believe in the journal of the two sisters Celestia says that her life force is tied with the sun and her body rejuvenates with the rising of the sun every morning. So Celestia will likely live until the sun burns out

>>30754824
If that's the case, what kind of natural force rejuvinates Twilight and Cadence? Friendship and love?

roseluck dies in the aftermath of the canterlot games. Derpy is significantly less autistic than the fandom makes her out to be, though still fairly autistic. Granny smith and pappy pear were romantically or at the very least sexually involved and they had applejacks parents. This is another reason they didn't approve of them seeing each other, but at that point they were too deep in it to say "YER FUCKIN YALLS OWN SIBLING". I doubt the two were even aware of it, and that's another reason why the apples are so fucking retarded. Daddy kinks all around. Fluttershy used to be selective about which animals she fucked, but after it turned out its discords kink, she'll fuck anything for his pleasure.

>>30755058
Not that anon, but off the bat I would assume "love" for Cadence and "Friendship" for Twilight, though there has been no indication in the show at all that Twilight and Cadence are of the same stuff or origin that Celestia and Luna are.

I feel like a proper distinction would be to call Celestia and Luna Greater Princesses and Cadence and Twilight Lesser Princesses.

>>30755099
I tend to refer to them as "pureborn" and "ascended" respectively, but yeah - that's about what I assume.

>>30755058
Strictly speaking, the Journal also says that even without their solar/lunar links pureborn alicorns age "differently" - to the point they were adults before getting their cutie marks, and this was considered normal. Even your typical pureborn could possibly last a few centuries.

>>30755171
If we continue off the idea that Celestia and Luna exist so long as the Sun and Moon exist, which are the givers of life in essence, it follows that Cadence and Twilight will exist so long as love and friendship exist, which exist as a product of life given as opposed to being the life giver. And following that, the sun and moon will last presumably much longer than ponykind, implying Celestia and Luna will live as long as the sun and moon do, and one can assume Cadence and Twilight would last shorter than Celestia and Luna as ponies would die out before the sun and moon does.

It follows logically and makes sense that Celestia and Luna would be greater princesses, or "pureborn" as you prefer and Cadence and Twilight are lesser.

>>30735322
My waifu shares my fetish.

The older sisters behavior in Carts Before the Ponies makes sense because they are emotionally abusive to the CMC. Applejack straight up tells Apple Bloom that she wouldn't be an Apple if she didn't build the cart the way she wanted, despite Apple Bloom telling AJ in an earlier episode that this was something she was afraid of. The ending of that episode even had the older sisters gaslighting the CMC by convincing them that they never asked to build the carts the way they wanted (despite doing so multiple times) and were only sorry because a crowd was watching them.

>>30740954
Holy shit I love this. I don't know if I accept it, but I would totally not mind seeing this in an episode.

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>>30735322
Some flashbacks on episodes hint us about Derpy's tragic story: from being objectively the best pony on everything (ie.: winning 'most creative cart' prize in "Carts Before the Ponies", first place in flight school in "Parental Guidance"...), she gets diagnosed with a severe mental condition (I'd like to think, brain cancer), and after taking a treatment for it (as we see in "Where the Apple Lies"), she becomes the 'laughting stock'/'cloudcuckoolander' of Ponyville.
Something like the story of Old Man McGucket on Gravity Falls.

>>30755058
You could argue that Twi and Candyass are tied to the tree of harmony and the crystal heart, respectively. Those are the the most powerful manifestations of friendship and love that we know of.

>>30755651
Yeah, but as I said on >>30752030, I rather believe they're artifacts that channel friendship and love (respectively), but aren't power sources on itself, unlike the Sun and the Moon.
So I'll probably go with the "Greater Alicorn" / "Lesser Alicorn" headcanon (not 'pureborn', through, as S6E1 dismantled any possibility of that except for OP Flurry Baby).

>>30755651
Also this led me to a couple interesting realizations:

Twilight - Tree of Harmony (Earth)
Celestia - Sun (Fire)
Luna - Moon (Water)
Cadance - Crystal Heart (Heart)
Flurry - ??? (Wind)

1. Flurry's princesshood will be wind/sky related.
2. If they combined all their powers they would summon Captain Planet.

>>30755688
My headcanon explanation for why Celestia and Luna weren't born alicorns is because they weren't born, period. At least not in a traditional sense. They came into being by some celestial event and were discovered by Starswirl.

>>30755955
>Moon (Water)

o...k?

>>30756011
Tides nigga

>>30756075
still stupid

>>30755688
Thankfully, there's a bit of a loophole in that episode. It wasn't intended by the writers, but it works:

Celestia and Luna say that this is the first alicorn born in Equestria - because they were not born in Equestria. They were born outside its borders before it was formed, and (if we're sticking to actual canon and not headcanon) we know they were born as alicorns.

Similarly, they say knowledge of this is beyond them - because the question of why an alicorn has suddenly given birth well over a millennium after their race apparently vanished is an mystery, not that an alicorn gave birth in the first place.

>>30756011
Sorry I've watched too much ATLA and I forget the moon/water connection isn't inherent in other shows

>>30756171
>Celestia and Luna say that this is the first alicorn born in Equestria - because they were not born in Equestria. They were born outside its borders before it was formed
I also thought about that when I saw that episode for the first time.
However, my headcanon still insist in that they were ascended into alicornhood, not born alicorn. And that (somehow) Starwirl, Discord, and the Elements of Harmony got a play in their ascension.