RGRE: Reversed Gender Roles Equestria

Nyx

>>30420488
sweet, new pic

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>>30420488
>Colts doing chores
Not RGRE.

>>30420529
It's a farm anon

Everyone gots chores

Even Granny has chores

If Grampy was still around, he'd have chores.

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>>30420488
First for real thread.

Would Rarara like being around you because you offset her coltiness so well, or would she avoid you because you aren't a proper stallion?

The storm of impotent rage grows, and so too does my erection. Thanks BNW.

>>30420564
>proper stallion
everyone here is a fucking useless, no skills, only keyboard.

also, rarity is a slut. i don't fuck slut who have eboda.

>>30420573
Skills are irrelevant for Stallions.

They just have to be attractive. And when the gender ratios are what they are, that gets a *lot* easier.

And not being a basic bastard goes a long long way toward upping your desirability

>>30420564
The offset one.
But you simply must be willing to have and raise foals.

>>30420594
Eh, anon, Why lusting after someone keeps you from truly loving them.

> Applejack is used to stallions flirting with her, trying to get her to haggle down her prices
> And so she doesn't believe him when Anon tells her he's interested
> She still agrees to go on a date with
> Other stallions have done that too, and it can be nice having a colt pretending to be interested in her
> It's a good thing she didn't change, because Anon doesn't take her to some fancy restaurant, no
> He takes her on a short hike up to a cliff near the edge of town, just to watch the sun set
> The view is breathtaking, and she feels the embers of her old wanderlust stir
> Applejack no longer wants to leave Ponyville, but she does want something new, an adventure
> She grudgingly asks what Anon is after
> He spouts coltishly fancy descriptions of her beauty and strength
> Most of it rings true, but she can tell he's hiding something
"Out with it, Anon. Why are you really courtin' me?"
> He looks away, blushing
> "What I said was true, but..."
> Here it comes
> The moment of disappointment, when it was all a lie, or a fit of whimsy, or making his real marefriend jealous
> "I also want to fuck your ass so much."
"What in tarnation-"

> And that's how Anon became an apple

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>Be Rainbow Dash
>Not that weird blue dog thing with the wings
>THE Dash
>One hundred percent pure, unadulterated awesomeness!
"Aw yeah... J-Just like that big guy..."
>School was almost over, and since you had a study period you were in the shed near the track field
>Most days you were here, getting a soccer ball to kick around or taking a snooze on a pile of old football jerseys
>But not today
>Today momma was getting some lovin'!
>Your main man Incognito, had, to your surprise, been up for a bit of fun during school hours
>You, not the kind of girl to look a gift horse in the mouth, had asked him if he maybe, possibly, probably, could-if-he-wanted-to have a bit of fun in this particular shed
>And
>He
>FUCKING
>SAID
>YES!
>He didn't demand anything from you or ask that you do something for him
>He just smiled at you, gave your butt a subtle squeeze and told you to pick when to do it!
>THIS...
>This was just another reason why you loved this oddball
>At that moment, your back was pressed up against one of the shed's metal walls
>Your eyes were half closed and you were running your hands through your boyfriend's hair
>Incognito was on his knees, running his hands up and down your sides and legs
>There was almost a look of worship on his face as he touched you, like he was at some famous religious site touching a giant rock or whatever
>You weren't gonna lie
>It was hot
>To less awesome girls, they probably would have busted an ovary at the mere sight
>But you were Rainbow motherfucking Dash!
>Seeing your boyfriend on his knees worshiping your body just got you riled up
>The second that Nito pulled your pants down you'd fuck his brains out
>You'd fuck him so hard that just looking at him would make him pop a stiffy!
"E-Easy with the hands there, hon. I'm--ah~! I'm s-sensitive..."
>Nito, humming a tune to himself, rubbed his face against your cloth-covered shirt
>You twitched when you felt his nose brushing against your belly

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>>30420645
>>Not that weird blue dog thing with the wings
>nohooves Dash talking shit

>>30420636
kek, I saw that last line and thought Twilight fucked up again for a second there.
>>30420645
WOOOOOOOOOO!

>>30420636
Cringe worthy as hell?

..It's just awful.

>>30420636
They don't call her Analjack for nothing.

>>30420564
>Everyone is kind of stunned that a strong friendship grew between what is the pony equivalent of a metrosexual and an alien amazon.
>Really, what are the chances?
>Some mares are low-key jealous that Rarity, the least marely mare, holds a monopoly on your attention.

>>30420656
hello, newfag

>>30420645
LaP with the sick thread christening

>Anon buys a little bit land next to SAA that Applejack had been eyeing up.
>While initially pissed, she and the rest of the Apples are stunned when their new neighbor is as hot as fuck.
>Anon builds himself a nice, small cabin, and uses the land to grow very rare, very sought-after plants and vegetables.
>His customers include the Princesses, and very well-off ponies.
>However, he always puts aside a portion of his exotic foodstuffs for Applejack and her family.
>AJ is unsure whether he's trying to court her, or is just being friendly.
>On the other hoof, a stallion that actually works for a living? Isn't namby-pamby?
>A catch.
>Unfortunately, other mares are sniffing around...

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>>30420564
Nature loves balance. The amount of coltiness in a relationship must tend towards the average.

I would imagine Rarity being a desirable marefriend for Anon there, since she is the only one not "accidentally" bumping into his crotch or barely lifting his super heavy groceries (of 2 kgs) to show off. And Dresshoers herself would probably enjoy someone stronger than the typical colt. It was always a weird idea of a mate for her that caused a lot of ponies (herself included) question her idea of sexuality.

Reminds me of that oneshot green where Rares thought she was a dyke for being so attracted to Anon and finding out he had teats.

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>>30420573
>>30420594
Not true. With a limited number of males in Equestria, it's very easy to distinguish them by their scents. By cumming on a mare's face and marking her with your scent, your scent will tell every other mare that gets hear her that you're taken. It's also a badge of honor as a way of saying, "look how good I am at making a stallion cum", because a classic trope in Equestrian pop-culture is about how a stallion has to be in the right mood for sex and how hard it is to make him cum.

>>30420709
Anon uses the sexy farmer routine to get all famers in ponyvill under his banner(and dick), making them the most influential group in Equestria.

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>>30420636
>>30420660
>Applejack wants you both to remain virtuous and pure like the Apples before her, so no pre-marital sex while your with her.
>So no ponis in vagoo
>You can put it in her butt all you like though. That doesn't count.

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Poor Soarin. If not for the matriarchy keeping that incompetant mare in charge, Soarin would be captain of the wonderbolts.
>"Uh, actually I've reached where I am due to hard work and determination. I have great respect for Captain Spitfire, and everything she's done for the team and Equestria. It's an honor to serve under her."
You her that, boys? Looks like we've got another gender traitor to take care of!

>>30420739
Nah, she just really loves it up the ass. But most stallions find it super gross. That's a problem, because her only interest in vaginal is to have foals.

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>>30420739
>The reason why Appuls are so "pure" is sorely because stallions are really not into anal.
>Sticking his precious dick in the dirty hole? Eww.
>In reality, AJ is a dirty slut like all mares. Only the tradition of no procreation before marriage keeps her from shagging with Anon.
>She reveals nervously to him that he will not get to stick it in before they get together for real.
>Many potential partners have left her for that - nowadays it's "shag before you bag" kind of deal.
>She is basically shaking with fear of losing him during the conversation - why would he care that she is willing to do anal? Every mare is.

>Meanwhile Anon's face when he realises that going brown is kosher.

>>30420758
Are you fucking stupid? shit inside it.

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>>30420645
>You must have made a face as well because Nito chuckled
>"God are you cute," he murmured, kissing your bare stomach where your shirt had balled up
>You opened your mouth to say that The Dash was NOT cute, but all you could do was quietly groan as Nito wiggled his head into your shirt
>You bit your lip as you felt him kissing your abs, body jerking as a bolt of pleasure raced up your spine
>Before you could get used to that, his hands began squeezing your butt
"F-Fuck..." you hissed, back arching
>That's the SHIT right there...
>Since you no longer had Nito's hair to play with, you decided to keep your hands busy by pulling your shirt off
>You did to slowly, savoring the feeling of Nito's soft, supple lips touching your bare flesh
>Nito, the lovely boyfriend that he was, let his kisses move upward as you lifted your shirt
>He kissed and nuzzled your belly, teased your sternum with his tongue, had you laughing when he blew a raspberry on your neck
>You let out a chuckle as you felt him fiddling with your bra
"I-I'm gonna fuck your brains out," you said, pulling your shirt over your head
>Nito, chuckling, leaned in for a kiss, which you happily returned
>"I hope so, cutie," he said as you tossed your shirt away, leaving just a bra to cover the ol' girls. "Now, let's get this thing out of the way..."
>You continued to kiss your boyfriend and nip at his neck as he tried to get your bra off
>Though the big lug as the most affectionate boyfriend that you had ever had, your bras were still a bit tricky for him
>After about a minute of trying and failing to unclasp it, you could see his nose scrunching like it did whenever he got frustrated
>You laughed
"Here, let me show you how it's done, hon," you said, rubbing your nose against him.
>Reaching behind your back, you undid the strap with a flick of the wrist
>Nito, reached down to give your ass a squeeze as you pulled the thing off and tossed it across the shed
>You let out a pleased hum

>>30420529
>laundry
>not colt's work

>>30420573
Nice projection. Also you pretty much always have to use a noun with an adjective in English if you're describing people. It's not like Spanish where you can just use an adjective since there's no real grammatical gender among other things.

>>30420823
>Spanish
>Muh english
NO WAY!! America is just a kingdom filled with plates piled high with meat and burger!!

>>30420846
>>Muh english

If you don't want to sound like a retard your best bet is to get some basic stuff right.

>>30420846
>>30420863
Pluggo, I don't mean to alarm you, but I think you may have autism.

>>30420792
>Goddess did you HATE that fucking thing...
>The second that the girls' were out in the open, Nito's gaze snapped down toward them
>Though they were on the... smaller side, the look your boyfriend had on his face as he looked at your tits really made you smile
>Not the ah-yeah-getting-some-dick-tonight kind of smile either
>You were smiling that happy, I-should-probably-take-this-guy-home-because-my-mom-would-give-me-a-high-five-and-tell-me-how-proud-of-me-she-was kind of smile
>After staring at your boobs for a few seconds, Nito's green eyes flicked up to your face
>You could see a bunch of sappy ass emotions in them, and the sight made your smile grow
>Oh he was SO gonna get it!
>"You ready, hon?" he asked
>Wrapping your arms around his shoulders, you got up on your tippy toes and gave his cheek a kiss
"I was born ready, babe," you chirped
>The two of you stared into each other's eyes as Nito unbuttoned your pants and pulled them down
>Your panties were next
>"Do you wanna help me with these clothes, or do you wanna watch me while I take'em off?" Nito asked, his voice barely a whisper
>You hummed thoughtfully, pressing yourself against your boyfriend
"I'm thinkin' the first option, big guy," you said, reaching down to rub your hand against the noticeable bulge in his pants
>Nito shivered, leaning in to kiss you as you began to unbutton his--
>"There you are, you fucking hooved nerd!"
>Ohfuckinggoddessthiswashowyougetexpelled!
>Both you and Nito nearly leapt as someone leapt into the shed with you
>Whipping your heads toward the entrance, you saw that short, weird guy Unknown standing there
>The guy was breathing hard, his eyes wild and his hair all fucked up
>In his hands was an overly large butterfly net
>"Where the FUCK are you Moony?" he said, ignoring the two of you. "Get your furry little ass out here. I'm tired of chasing you all over this damned school!"

>>30420645
>>30420792
>LaP
>Writing green about Dash
>And she's not trash

Are you /sure/ you're LaP?

>>30420887
Its the human Dash that didn't sell her friend into slavery. So there's that to consider.

>>30420886
.....the fuck did Moondancer do?

>>30420873
>Implying Pluggo ever leaves the incest thread

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>>30420992
We love you, Pluggo.

>>30421007
Pluggo, stop replying to your own posts.

>>30421025
>16 IPs
Pluggo! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

>>30421038
16 is Pluggo's favorite number

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>>30420886
>...
>Okaaaaaay...
>Both you and Nito looked at each other before looking back at Unknown
>Nito cleared his throat
>"Um, Unknown? What's--"
>Unknown perked up, his head jerking around
>"Shush, shush, shush, shush, shut the fuck up," he said, raising a hand
>Nito's mouth snapped shut, and you both watched as Unknown crotched down low, his head cocked to the side
>For almost a minute the three of you stood there awkwardly listening for... whatever the heck that weirdo was listening for
>Finally, Unknown stood back up to his full height, his eyes narrowed
>"Hey, did the two of you see a three foot tall little marshmallow horse running around?" he asked looking over at you. "She's wearing a ratty sweatshirt, has a big ass glowing amulet around her neck?"
>Both you and Nito once again exchanged glances before shaking your heads
>"Nope."
"Naha."
>"Fuck," Unknown grunted, his nose scrunched up. "If you do see her fucking call me. I don't want someone seeing a unicorn and calling the fucking cops."
>Muttering to himself, he made his way over to the door and threw it open, walking outside before either of you could ask what the hell he was talking about
>A moment later he popped his head back in
>"And stop fucking on school grounds. I keep getting shit for it because none of you fuckers can wait for eight hours to fuck," he grumbled. "And Incognito, shave that shit off your lip. You want to grow a mustache, not have a shitton of pubes on your upper lip."
>He looked over at you, his gaze dipping down to your groin
>"And speaking of pubes, shave your shit Rainbow. I don't mind a little hair of a girl but you got a fucking afro."
>He looked at the two of you before shaking his head
>"Fucking dumb motherfuckers..."
>With that he left, leaving you and your boyfriend alone
>"Well... that cunt really knows how to ruin the mood, huh?" Nito asked
>You grunted, a frown making its way onto your face as you looked at the spot where that jackass had just been

>>30421080
>I don't mind a little hair of a girl but you got a fucking afro."
sick burn, also on*.

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>>30421080
>If he weren't a guy you'd run out there and beat his ass...
>Shaking your head, you turned back toward your boyfriend and smiled
"Fuck'em, we'll gonna have our fun whether he wants us to or not," you said, giving him a peck on the lips as you began fiddling with his pants once again. "Now why don't you just sit back and let The Dash take care of..."
>You trailed off when you heard a sound
>The sound of someone writing
>...
>Looking past your boyfriend, you saw a small, furry little dog thing with glasses and a sweater, staring at the two of you intently
>In its hooves/paws/whatever the fuck they were was a piece of paper and a pencil
>"Subjects seem to be looking at something," it murmured, scratching something down on the paper
>Nito slowly looked over his shoulder at the dog thing
>"...Moondancer?"
>The dog thing looked down at itself, its nose scrunching up
>"Horse apples, my invisibility spell needs to be reapplied," it muttered, looking back up at the two of you. "Don't mind me please. I'm just here to watch you copulate for my research. Please continue."
>...
>"No."
"Okay."
>Both you and Nito looked at each other, Nito's eyes narrowing
"...What?"

>>30421135
alright, I'm done. I didn't have any safe >nohooves Dash pictures, so will have to do

>>30421135
>we'll gonna have our fun whether
we're*
>"No."
>"Okay."
>Both you and Nito looked at each other, Nito's eyes narrowing
>"...What?"
fucking Dash, don't encourage this shit.

>>30421080
>pic
what does fast smell like?

>>30420645
>>Not that weird blue dog thing with the wings
>>THE Dash
>>One hundred percent pure, unadulterated awesomeness!
MADNESS

>>30421318
ozone what the fuck does ozone smell like?

>>30420886
>>Though they were on the... smaller side
F L A T
L
A
T

>>30421356
Ozone smells like fast.

>>30421356
A sharp, pungent zing. Kind sweet. People who can smell when a storm is coming out in the ocean are smelling ozone.

>>30421356
smells like static electricity

>>30421135
Wait, did she leave her husbando in equestria or did he cave in and bring her to EQGworld.
Because the idea of moonie not having a few anons after her is stretching belief a bit, she a cute.

>>30417447
>Be Twilight.
>You're panicking -really- bad!
>How could you let this happen!?
>Anon's sleeping form lays next to you, his chest raiseing and falling with each breath.
>Normally a mare getting laid would be something to brag about.
>But when you're a princess and the stallion is a alien you were supposed to teach about pony culture, then there's a problem.
>What are ponies going to think!?
>You can hear the stallionist already!
>”She trained a unknowing stallion to love her!? How dare she!” They'd say.
>Then you'd be locked up and put in prison!
>What could you do!?
>Anon wraps arm around you and rubs your chest tuft.
>L-Lewd!
>”Good morning my little princess~” He says, almost sounding like a villain from one of your Neighponyies mangas.
>Wait a second…
>That's it!
“Hey sweetie, could you do something for me?”

>Be Twilight weeks later.
>After a bit of acting you and Anon we're ‘coltnapped' by some unknown alien with face hair named Incognito.
>Now the two of you were out in a wooden cottage that you both built in the Everfree.
>Your friend come and visit every so often to tell you what's going on in Ponyville.
>But right now you are just laying on the couch reading as Anon makes you two pancakes.
>Life is -so- much easier.
>You forgot what it was like to not have any princessly duties and to just relax.
>The fact you now have a stallion only makes it better and more peaceful…
>Honestly, you could stay missing foreve-
>BAM!
>Your head swings to look at the door were a guardsmare is standing spear held high.
>”Princess! Anonymous! I'm here to save!... You?” She stares at you and then looks to Anon who is staring out the kitchen door. “Um, what's going on?”
>Buck me…

>>30421714
>Be Gleaming Shield!
>Hero guard of the princess and alien!
>Well you would be, if they were actually coltnapped…
>Twilight explained everything as you made yourself comfy on their couch.
>”-so then we ran to the Everfree and built this cottage, we've been here ever since.” She said finishing up her story.
>You are honestly surprised that she even talked her stallion into going into the woods, let alone living there.
>But, you still have a job to do.
“While that is a very sweet story, I'm still going to have to tell everypony…”
>Panic fills her face.
>”Please don't! Everpony will be so disappointed and angry! Please, I'll give you anything!” She pleas.
>You shake your head.
“I’m sorry, but I'm a royal guard, and as such I must-"
>”I'll give you some homemade pancakes~” Anonymous says with a singsong voice looking in from the kitchen.
>…
“Can I bring some friends over to have some too?”
>”Sure!” He says happily.
“Deal.”
>Duty or not, it's been far too long since you've had a warm meal that had that ‘stallions touch’.

>>30421723
Pancakes save the day. Good, good.

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>>30420745
[internalized opression]

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>>30421135
kek

>>30421714
>Shit.
>SHIT.
"U-Uh..."
>You look at Twilight, looks pensively back at you.
>Neither of you had planned for a rescue mission.
>Why didn't you ever plan for a rescue mission!?
>You decide to do what you do best: fly by the seat of your pants and hope for the best.
>You jump to your feet and rush over to the guard mare who, thankfully, is still looking a little bit dazed.
"Oh, thank goodness!"
>You scoop her up in a big hug and snuggle her to your chest.
>Predictably, she struggles against your snuggles, but that's alright.
>Struggle-snuggles are your favorite.
>"What are-sir? Sir! Please put me-ohh~"
>Before she can do anything more than wiggle around like a little cutie, you employ your secret weapon.
>The one thing that no pony can resist.
>Ear scratches.

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>>30422342
>>Predictably, she struggles against your snuggles, but that's alright.
kek

Also pic related, moar

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>>30421141
>Rainbow Dash body worship

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>>30422471
RITE?

>>30420714
We get it, Rarity likes maledom

>>30421135
>all this
>>30421141
>>I didn't have any safe >nohooves Dash pictures

Is this true? Have you joined the church of Rainbow Dash, LaP?

Are these the endtimes spoken of in prophecy?

>>30422342
M O A R
O
A
R

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>>30422496
I think it has a lot of potential to be really adorable.

>>30420529
>Pony stallion doing laundry.
>Almost literally the definition of "RGRE".

Fuck, I hate summer.

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>>30422512
>Rarara and gentle maledom

>>30420645
>>Be Rainbow Dash
>>Not that weird blue dog thing with the wings
>>THE Dash

You were the Chosen one, LaP!
You were meant to bring order to the RGRE general, not shroud it in no-hooves shit-tastes!

>>30422499
She is the most likely gym rat of the bunch, even if she would be a cardio bunny instead of spending much time liftin'.

AJ could go for some powerlifting, but considering how much of a workout she gets on the farm everyday, she wouldn't likely see the need to go to the gym as well.

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>>30422628
>Pin Rarity to the bed and not let her go until you've "Kissed every inch of her beautiful body."
>She only struggles because she knows you'll bite when she does.
>The usual prim pony came long before you made it to her horn or between her legs.

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>>30422628
oh yes

>>30420723
>Fetishshit
Seriously, fuck off.

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>>30422655
>>The usual prim pony came long before you made it to her horn or between her legs.
o-oh my

>>30422681
Fuck off with your falseflag shit, that is an old idea made as a joke a long time ago newfag, show respect.

>>30422637
You know, this is true. I'm actually a little surprised she doesn't get more attention from him for that reason to be honest.

Question: What is the RGRE version of the expression "bros before hoes"?

>>30422874
I believe it was sis's before...something. I cant remember what though.

>>30422874
>>30422919
Sisters before Misters.

>>30422874
Hoe probably still isn't a compliment in RGR but

Hoes before beaus

>>30422939
how adorably pg

>>30422939
What if that mister promises to also fuck your sister?

>>30422919
Fillies before willies.

>>30420709
>>30420730
"And that, my fine gals, is what we call a Co-op"
>"Will we still get sex?" a yellow mare asks
>You smile and gives her a wink
"Of course!"
>"And ya say this will rake in the bits?"
"Yup!"
>The mares all look at each other before nodding
>"Where do we sign?"
>Congratulations Anon
>You just got the eight largest farm owners in equestria into your herd
>Between them you control almost twenty percent of Equestria's farmable land

>>30422702
Stop trying to inject your shit fetish into greens, faggot.

>>30423061
>All according to plan.jpeg intensifies
>Anon makes the best food producers and strongest farm mares into a herd for the sole purpose of breeding them into the best workers there will ever be.

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>>30423097
Get lost newfag, safe it for actual fetish shitposters.

>>30423107
>safe it
I bet you post satyr shit.

>>30423117
If a satyr isn't in the photo then it isn't a shitpost. Save it for them dumbass.

>>30423125
I have no idea what that is, but it doesn't belong here, or on the board in general.

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>>30423117
I'm sick of you injecting your anti-fetish-injecting fetish into everything.

>>30423173
man this guys humans look like garbage

his fetish is shit too

>>30422874
Chicks before dicks.

>>30423184
It was either that or Doug if he wanted to keep it looking "show accurate".

>>30421723
>>30421714
Why the fuck do you even trip code or namefag anymore? Nobody reads your shit because they blocked you.

>>30421080
How is it possible that ALL of the Anons are assholes?
It's like seriously, every single "main" Anon that says more than two words is an insufferable faggot. Every line they say makes me want to see them hit by a truck.

>>30422299
>As their own species, not a cross like you're making them out to be.
>As their own species, not a cross like you're making them out to be.
>As their own species, not a cross like you're making them out to be.
>As their own species, not a cross like you're making them out to be.
>Would be a nigh-impossible cross between two species.

You're not even autistic, just plain fucking retarded, familam.

>>30423247
That's just a by product of having that much concentrated faggotry in one place, cant be helped.
>>30423239
Most of the entire thread reads his stuff, if your gonna shitpost try harder.
>>30423252
Drop it dumbass.

>>30423239
Was this guy's one story so bad that he can't write anything anymore? I saw him get harassed in the last mommy horse thread.

>>30423252
Ignore them. They're just a pack of summerfags that will be gone soon.

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>>30423252
ok
>implying any of this will stop me

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>>30423256
>A wild fuckwit appears!
>Fuckwit used retardation. It missed.
>Anon used logic.
>Fuckwit is immune.
>Thread ignores Fuckwit to preserve intelligence.
>Nothing of value was lost.

I can't help but think everyone autistically arguing right now over stupid, inconsequential bullshit no one but themselves care about should have been euthanized at a young age.

You know who you are, you fucking human tumors.

>>30423257
It was. Just checked his pastebin and it's gone. Atleast he realizes he sucks.
>>30423256
>Most of the entire thread reads his stuff, if your gonna shitpost try harder.
Yeah that's why he stopped writing his original story right? He. Is. Shit. He's only comes to threads to drop his half-ass story and leave. If anything he's a shitposter.

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Satyrs > Spooky flesh eating horses

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>>30423285
They're cute and that's good enough for me.

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>>30423276

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PLANE SATYRS WHEN

>>30423276
Since the move Retardation annoys the enemy Pokémon, does that make it a bug type move?

Am I the only one that likes the idea that Anon's kids pop out as satyrs, normal ponies with slight physical changes, or pastel haired humans at random?

Like its just a roll of the dice to see what happens.

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>>30423269
Lad, please don't respond for me, especially to a guy just being a dick.

>>30423285
>Flesh eating horses.
What? We Thing Pone now?

>>30423288
>>30423293
>>30423296
As being to fellow satyr pussyfruit faggeroni, pls not to spam and validate anus man.

>>30423309
No, you're not. Good ol' genetic lottery.
Also centaurs.

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>>30423322
>please don't respond for me
excuse you i wasnt

i was responding to a guy being retarded

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Niggas best be samefagging replies taking the bait. This early thread shitposting doesn't just come around like clockwork, shit's obvious, too.

Keep bumping the thread I guess. The shitstorms are actually pretty helpful when the writefags are busy reloading.

>>30423322
A common headcanon is that while the species is always a pony, many of the traits are inherited from the father. Like eye color or shape and even human teeth.

>>30423300
Pregnant bat plane satyrs.

>>30423322
No no no you dont get it. You only get centaurs when you fuck Saddle Arabians. Any chance of satyr is replaced with centaur.

>>30423334
At this point its just the shitposters replying to themselves to try and fake an argument in the thread. Fuckers aren't even hiding it. I doubt anyone is going to give them (you)s. The mods should in theory get off their asses to fix this...but I wouldn't bet on it. In other conversations, what would be the ideal herd number, 3-4 or 5-6? Or would you have an even bigger one than that.

>>30423360
3 is best while 6 is the max you should go.

>>30423335
That's...not how species work. A species is defined by its DNA. So a half-breed is a separate, hybrid species, because it has half the DNA from 2 species.

>>30423360
>what would be the ideal herd number
I'd say, if we're talking as a setting, rule of tens. If we're saying individually, as many as you can get.
Have womb will fill.

>>30423362
Good choice.

>>30423360
>every time he posts it's crying about wanting the mods
Maybe rebbit is more your speed, sonny.

>>30423360
How close are the members of the herd? Are herds semi-casual things where mares come and go at their own behest (or the behest of the group). Or are they serious life partners that bond emotionally?

If they are casual I would say 6-10 if they are a group of emotionally bonded ponies I agree with >>30423362

Personally I would never do over 3 and would probably just do 1-2 if I had it my way.

>>30423370
Well, if that's your problem then we would also have to talk about chromosomes or how the hybrids wouldn't be so "clean". At the end of the day Magic(tm) is what makes offspring between a small horse and large ape possible.

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>>30423370
That is also a good choice, better make sure to have a few mares to help hunt meat, need that protein to fill them up properly. Oh and eggs too. Hmmm, that brings me to a new question. How difficult would it be to acquire the ingredients in pic related, while still in the Horse world. Human world should be pretty simple, and you do need to give the girls something tasty to eat out each other when they are already pregnant.
>>30423379
I suppose it depends on those involved. If your up in canterlot and/or are famous, then I might be a popularity thing, like a reality show, but real.

>>30423279
>everyone autistically arguing right now
>no one but themselves care about
Zigga, you fuckin' retarded.

>>30423414
What are you even saying?

>>30423379
Serious. But not every single one with each other. Mares bond with each other, forming cliques who follow a given mare into a herd.

Casualness just isn't good for a family unit, or for the kids, which is the whole reason family units exist. So herds stick together, any new cliques merging in as they find their place in their hierarchy.
It's encouraged that each mare try to be as friendly as possible with her herd mates, but it's really only essential to get on more than just sexual with their stallion, so he feels more empathetic to her needs.

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>tfw in RGRE with herds males not only have to avoid getting a reputation as a slut, but also can get shit for being selfish and not slutty enough.

>You're not sure if your marefriend and Twiggles are calling you bratty and immature for insisting on monogamy without giving other mares a chance, or if Purplesmart is mostly just mad at being denied your cock.

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>>30423433
I'd pick a single mare Fluttershy and make her solely mine. No other mares.

>>30423281
He gifts us with green, and while his initial outing wasn't very good, he's improving over time.

And even mediocre green is better than autistic shitfits

>>30423360
I'd say 3 is the ideal number of mares.
Not so big that any of your mares aren't getting sex regularly, but large enough that if one is pregnant, even if another gets injured/disabled/predisposed, you still have one mare who can help support/protect the family.

(I am considering both a normal herd with an RGR stallion, and a herd with an anon in this search for the ideal number of females per herd.)

>>30423421
An autistic, short-bus-riding child could have understood what I said.
Clearly though, your mental powers are far inferior to such a specimen.
No surprise there, though.

So how taboo would it be for Anon to herd with a mare and her daughter?

Like say Anon hooked up with Derpy and Dinky (assuming Dinky is of legal age). Would others view it as creepy or would it be seen as a normal kind of thing?

>>30423471
What did he mean by this?

>>30423473
I think The Xenophile's Guide to Equestria covered that. I recommend reading it even if you found Xenophilia meh. It's pretty much all 100% worldbuilding written as a guidebook.

>>30423471
Really activates my almonds.

>>30423494
got a link?

>>30423473
As long as the daughter in question isn't blood related to the herd stallion, it should be fine, though there may be some raised eyebrows if the daughter didn't have some independent time before herding.

>>30423473
If her daughter isn't his, none.
If she is yours? Minor. Like, daughteru gets teased by people for it tier.

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>>30423499
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/57315/the-xenophiles-guide-to-equestria

Bear in mind, it still relies on you having read Xenophilia first in most chapters as Lero is their first confirmed alien. However, I picked out the chapter in question (herd dynamics and more) and it doesn't require you to have read the first story to get all of it.

https://www.fimfiction.net/story/57315/21/the-xenophiles-guide-to-equestria/herds

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>>30423444
>"*Sniff* A-anon. Why are you so ashamed of me that you won't even accept another mare into the herd to help me? I feel so alone without herdsisters to help support our family, and share my love with."

>TFW your such a monster you won't make butterhush a happy mare with a normal happy herd family.

>>30423505
>>30423508
I ask because I was thinking of writing a story where Anon shows up and immediately guns for Derpy. All the other mares are confused because she is "damaged" so no stallion should want her. Being the daughter of a "damaged' mare makes it extremely hard for Ditzy to find a stallion so she ends up hooking up with Anon as well.

>>30423309
Strangely enough, I almost *never* see human kids in a pone green, unless Anon *is* the kid.

Though they should probably be smol humans. halfway to being a halfling maybe. Mommy is a *little* pony after all, would only make sense for the offspring to be little too.

>>30423555
Hmm. I always figured satyrs would be bigger than horses, but smaller than Anon. Like, 4 foot 10 for girls, 5 feet for boys, if Anon is a western average.
This could, of course, apply to ones that come out looking full human.
As well as ones who come out looking fully pony, they're all Big Mac and Fleur sized.

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>>30423580
>As well as ones who come out looking fully pony, they're all Big Mac and Fleur sized.
intradasting

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>>30423555
Pokemon breeding physics, yo.
Species is whatever the mother is.
That way, you don't have some life-long-agony genetic dead end that'd look like a down-syndrome mongoloid fucked a hiroshima detonation survivor (pic related), or the mother doesn't get ripped in half while giving birth, or the mother and child don't both die due to the child leeching more nutrition from the mother than the mother's body can possibly absorb on a day-to-day basis.

>>30423613
>Pokemon breeding physics, yo.
no

>Species is whatever the mother is.
no

>>30423613
Nah, that shit's gay.

What happens when you try to fertilize an pony (non-human) egg with human sperm and vice-versa?

>>30423613
From a non-retarded, non-autistic point of view, pretty much this.
>>30423580
>>30423595
>come out looking fully pony, they're all Big Mac and Fleur sized.

This could go quite well, but it would still rip most mares in half. AJ, a saddle arabian, or an alicorn might be able to handle it, but poor flutters/rara/dash would still be almost certain to get ripped apart and bleed out while giving birth if the foals were that size.

>>30423580
>Big Mac is the result of a wandering human banging his and AJ's mom while she was already in a relationship with their dad.
>Fluer was the first child conceived from the human when he was secretly summoned into Equestria by her mother to "Strengthen the DeLys bloodline". After she was impregnated the human decided to travel this new world rather than be sent home.
>Its been twenty years since then and Fluer is searching all over equestria for other children of the wanderer.
>She is hoping to find the man that is her true father so she can get questions that she has had for many years answered.

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>>30423623
>>30423632

>>30423643
Anon and French pone road trip? That could be cool.

>>30423650
the answer is still no

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>>30423613
>Species matches the mother
Nothing would make me happier than holding a small foal with nubby canines and a shared eye/hair color with me.

>>30423643
>>30423657
Fund it.

>>30423252
Dude, Griffins are literally a cross between some type of bird and some type of feline. You can even see that some of them are composed of different species of birds and felines than others.

>>30423636
Ponies dont have eggs. They reproduce by budding.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4JIytOL-Q18

>>30423668
You're still an autistic screechy motherfucker with your father's cock buried up your ass.

>>30423669
Hooray, someone who's not fucking retardedly autistic.
Having cute little soft fuzzy foals would be amazing.

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>>30423675
I'm jumping in this conversation so keep that in mind.

But that implies hundreds, if not thousands, of cats fucked birds instead of them magically being their own species somehow. And that's just dumb(er), is what I would say if not for the Movie with having that anthro cat and parrot pirate captain. Reeeeeee.

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>>30423677
*blocks your path*

>>30423694
It's magic, get used to it bitch.

>>30423677
>Uneducated
>This place place is retarded with teenage assholes who don't know what they're talking about
I can see that.

>>30423707
what

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>>30423675
And you have ponies that are literally crossed with birds, ponies that are crossed with rhinos, ponies that are crossed with both, ponies crossed with bats, ponies crossed with seacreatures (shoo be doo), hell even ponies crossed with fucking BUGS.

And yet, ALL of those are races within their own species.
They aren't some half-breeds with other species, they're phenotypical alterations within the same species that allow specialized utilitarian use of their differing outward mutations.

But the key thing here:
NONE of them come from cross breeding a fucking beetle with a mini-horse.

>>30423694
This guy gets it.
They're their own species, not something produced by mixing multiple species (and for good reason, because the show's creators aren't retarded autists).

>>30423731
Hey, maybe they've got some sort of large goliath beetle. You never know, some ponies could be into oviposition...

>>30423701
but what about twilights parents?

surely even if this was before we saw dashes parents or the cake twins or flurry or diamond tiara and her parents, the "target audience" would obviate that llineof thought, or am i missing some context

>>30423754
This was all the way back in Season 1 when Lauren Faust ran the show. This must have been before we even saw Twilight's parents. Really early in the series. Season 1 didn't air all it's episodes in one day after all.

>>30423751
Virtually all cross-species half-breeds are sterile (something like 99.999~% IIRC).
There would have to be an INSANE number of mares and stallions all running around fucking this shit non-stop to support the populations of said offshoots.
Pony foals would be virtually non-existent if these aren't their own species instead of half/half mixed breeds as the autists are trying to shoehorn/REEEEEE into existence with sheer force of stupidity.

>>30423778
>Virtually all cross-species half-breeds are sterile (something like 99.999~% IIRC).
I fucking hate using this argument but,
Magic!

>>30423775
I actually read that about a day after it was posted.
It happened some time around S1 E6 or E8 I think.

But yeah, it was LONG before we saw anyone but background ponies, the M6, and celly/lulu.

so apparently images are down because gookmoot is a faggot

>>30423787
also this

>>30423778
quit yer bitching already

So if it isn't obvious from the way this guy keep basically shouting "REEEE I DON'T LIKE THING AND YOU'RE AN AUTISTIC RETARD IF YOU LIKE IT", he's likely trying to fight, or otherwise unwilling or unable to have a civil conversation or allow people to enjoy things he doesn't.

At any rate, he's not worth acknowledging further.

>>30423791
>so apparently images are down because gookmoot is a faggot
God, how can one man be so much of a fuckup?

>>30423623
>>30423632
If this isn't a samefag we have a problem.

>>30423811
two nukes werent enough

>>30423787
If that were the case, we'd be seeing EVERY sort of retarded crossbreed.
>Freaky blind mare fucks a cocatrice.
>BAM!
>One week later and half chicken-lizard Medusa ponies have decimated Equestrian civilization killing/suspending everything that's not a chicken-lizard medusa pony.

>>30423818
or

its magic

>>30423818
>half chicken-lizard Medusa
Just you wait 'till next season, when they've got to come up with their next villain.

>>30423801
It's just two autists REEEEEing at eachother.
(But the pro-satyr one is the one who instigated this whole thing from the start, so he bears the majority of the blame.)

>>30423831
Just pretend I posted a satyr with this post.

>>30423844
Really? A fucking devil's threesome with Anon's batplane satyr son?

>>30423831
I joined in the argument when the other faggot said that Griffins were completely different from Satyrs.

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>>30423844
I gotchu

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>>30423844
Whoa, dude! Too lewd!
Only in rgre could a guy get away with anything like that.
But you still have to take responsibility.

>>30423871
I like her. What is her name?

>images immediately go back down again
EPIN

>>30423886
That's Dawn, Sunbutt's pussyfruit.
Given that Equestria is probably Enatic-Cognatic, especially in rgre, she's probably the heir apparent to the throne if something happened to the sisters, despite having an older brother.

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>>30423886
Dawn, of course. Posting superior long flowing hair Dawn.

I want mares arguing about weather or not cuntstallion is gay

>>30424074
Well which one do you want us to argue about? the weather or that cuntstallions aren't gay?

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>>30424075

>>30424207
When it's cloudy or dark out, cuntstallions are not gay.
You can barely see the cunt.

We satyr general now?

>>30424304
/Satyr EQG/

>>30421356
Kind of like a small, cheap, battery operated toy. Or a hot taser.

>>30421356
Smells like the destruction of your lungs. Seriously though, Ozone will fuck your shit up.

>>30424304
No, its just summer shitposting a mods not doing their jobs.

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>>30421377
JUSTICE
U
S
T
I
C
E

>>30424304
No, people are just to lazy to properly thread police.

>>30424345
It is the only truth in the world.

>>30423281
I recognize you now. You were whining about the exact same thing in the neet pone thread. Would you do me a huge favor and put on a trip so I can filter out your posts? There's already too much bullshit in this thread without having to deal with a no talent little shit like you pretending to be some kind of thread mouthpiece.

>>30423811
>"Oh no! Images down, no picture for you! But, maybe you wan buy 4chan pass? Good plice for you! Onry 10 dollah! Oh no? Ha ha, you too good at haggering for me! Maybe fo ninety-nine! Good deal fo you!"

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>>30424416
If he tried that, 4chan would die overnight.
And that's the type of shit he would pull...

>>30424419
>>30424416
Anyone else remember the post stopper he pulled earlier this year? I member.

>>30424428
>post stopper
Hm? Is that literal, or figurative?

>>30424435
Literal, he stopped all posting for everyone that wasn't a gold member or had the pass. Lasted for about 6 hours I think.

>>30424440
Oh my god, he is a bigger jew than most jews. We need to put this site out of it's misery.

>>30424457
.......why not just remove the Gook and Gook enablers?

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>All this satyr cancer
You guys would fuck your own children, goddammit that's awful.

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>>30424625
This. Now we're back to Doug on /mlp/!

>>30424470
Because somebody has to be in charge. If you just kill the yellow nigger, the site goes into probate (?) while a judge and a pile of lawyers try to figure out who gets what, plus Japan gets involved because he ripped off a bunch of users over there before he fled for greener pastures. Believe me, I've considered murdering that tiny sack of shit, but it would ultimately cause more problems than it would solve. Now when the show ends, the fandom dies, and the board closes? That's a different story all together. But considering that I'll probably leave 4chan when that happens, who knows?

>>30424625
There is a not insignificant overlap between /RGRE/ and /Incest/ threads. Probably because several of our more prominent writefags in the past (Frosty and Pluggo and probably others) liked to combine the two.

> Be Rag Time, waiter at the Sunrise Diner in Canterlot
> You could be generously described as a big ol healthy colt, but you get by with friendliness and the tips are good
> The door rings in the quiet hour before the morning rush
> In walks Octavia, who climbs up onto a seat by the counter
> She's looking more tired than usual, and something about her...
> You bring a mug of coffee and smile
"Mornin', Tavia. Haven't seen you around these past couple of days, how ya been?"
> She looks up as you set the mug before her
> "Good morning, Rag. I... it's been complicated."
> You give her a half smile, and lean on the counter
"I might not be a beauty king, but I am pretty good at listening."
> Octavia straightens up slightly, takes a sip of her coffee, and tells you all about it


> Be Octavia, wrung out after the orchestra concert

>>30424906
> It doesn't help your mood any to see the coltfriends of some of your colleagues whisk them away with coltishly giggles and whimsy
> You pack up your cello and head back to your apartment
> It's silent, back home
> You set your case by the door, and walk to the bedroom
> You spend a solid minute staring at your empty, cold bed
> You need a drink

> The bar is filled with the chatter of ponies, and you let it wash over you
> After the first shot of whiskey, you are halfway to feeling better
> That's when you see him
> A slender hornless Minotaur stallion, sharply dressed, decadently leaning against the bar and nursing his drink
> Maybe it was the whiskey talking
> Maybe it was the ache between your legs
> But you trotted right over, and gave him a smile
"What's a colt like you doing in a mare like me? I mean-"
> He gives you a warm smile and you feel unaccountably clever
> Something about his eyes makes you think he sees right through you
> When he does speak, it's with a velvety baritone voice
> "If you want me to go with you, that's alright with me. I'm a long way from home and going nowhere, and right now?"
> He knocks back his drink
> "Anywhere's a better place to be."

> It feels like a dream, bringing him back to your apartment
> You feel self-conscious about how small and bare it is, but you can tell he doesn't see it
> He just goes directly to your bedroom, shedding clothes as he does
> You follow, heart in your throat as he bares the lines of his body to you, one by one
> The moonlight shines softly on his skin as he lays back in your bed, a welcoming smile on his face
> You climb up over him, gazing at what you had only fantasized about before
> You start off slow, just gently kissing him and stroking his chest
> But he pulls your flanks down, his stallionhood hot against your lower lips
> "Make love to me, filly."
> And you do, oh how you do


> You wake up the next morning, bright and early

>>30424907
> You spend a long time gazing at his sleeping face, and the supple planes of his chest
> It was real!
> You have a hot stallion in your bed!
> He had sex with you!
> You grin at the memories, and give him a peck on the lips
> He doesn't wake, even when your stomach growls
> You give him a kiss on the cheek, and slip out of bed to go buy some breakfast for the two of you

> You come back to your apartment with a stack of steaming pancakes in a box, and set the table for two
> When everything is ready, you go back to your room
> Only to find it empty
> On the dresser, you see the note he left
> It simply said, "It's time I moved on."
> You crumple then and there, tears leaking from your eyes
> You had hoped...
> But no, not with a plain mare like you


> By the time you are done telling Rag Time your story, the colt is wiping away tears
> He speaks with a sigh
> "I wish I was handsome, or that you were halfway blind, or that I wasn't so damn fat. I wish you would come with me, when I leave for home. Because we know too much about being alone."
> You spend a long minute just looking at him, feeling the hollow in your heart fill a little
> You reach out and hold his hoof, and give him a half-grin
"I will go with you. It sounds like a better place to be, and goodness knows we could both stand to be less lonely."

>>30424911
The end.

Just a little something inspired by a song.

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>>30423882
>>30423853
>>30424751
it just seems particularly odd that satyrs and incest got paired up. it doesn't even make sense really for a fantastical hybrid race to all of a sudden be so strongly centered around having sex with their own family members, it's almost as if the out-of-control fetishposting real fetishposting, since incest is a specific sexual fetish in their threads and copycats among their writefags have inexorably bound the two. it's kinda sad, really.

>>30424912
That's sweet. Thanks for sharing it.

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>>30423360
I'd go for 2

>>30424911
For a second I thought this was connected with this
>>30423643
The final scene I picture anon on the street with fallout wanderer music on background and Octavia playing "the only fire I want to start, is the fire in your heart"

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>>30423433
>other mares calling you names for not forcing your waifu to share you
That sounds like a perfect excuse to smack a bitch.

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>>30423669
>getting affectionately nuzzled by a freshly baked mother while holding your adorable, if unusually large foal
Would.

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>>30424968
Because the main draw about satyrs is that they're supposed to be the readers family, if not their kids specifically.

And when family is the default direction of a thread, incest is a natural path to follow when it's lewd time.
"I love my daughter." becomes "I love my daughter biblically."

>>30425206

UNF

Sauce?

>>30423285

>that t-shirt
>those tits

I need the name of this one for reasons

>>30425376
Desirae, she's Harshwhinny's kid.

>>30423285
> I <3 CANADA
Why do I remember this being the real shirt?

>>30425386

That is a very unprofessional looking child for something that came from Harshwhinny.

>>30425222
I wonder what goes through the mind of a part human foal? To them, mom looks just like them, and that's normal. Then dad, and they KNOW it's dad on an instinctual level, is this absolutely giant biped. The soft and nurturing parent is twice the size and probably a noticeable amount stronger than the breadwinner. What would they think?

>>30425416
She's pretty laid back.

>>30423335
I especially love this.

Satyrs and Minotaurs come from mythology, and fit in with the show's fantasy/mythological aesthetics.

In reality, however, if cross-species fertilisation were to take place, it'd be like Ligers and other hybrids.

There wouldn't be centaurs or satyrs as they're defined by the Satyr threads (perfect human torso with horns or something, and bipedal hooves): what we'd get is probably human-stature ponies or ponies with human features, such as internal organs, musculature.

This would also affect behaviour, both due to psychological and biochemical reasons, meaning they wouldn't act like either a pony or a human on a base-level.

Then again, fucking magic.

>>30425423
I don't think a foal would think negatively of their parents from the get go. Any baby-level fears or doubts probably fade when they're finally in dad's arms. Its hard to feel in danger when one of the beings who gave you life and loves you unconditionally holds you close. I'd feel real safe with the knowledge that the nurturing parent in my life can fuck shit up if needed desu.

>>30425457
>This would also affect behaviour, both due to psychological and biochemical reasons, meaning they wouldn't act like either a pony or a human on a base-level.

This would be neat to see. What would the thought process of a pony-human hybrid be like?

>>30425512
>humans want to and will fuck anything
>ponies like hugs and other physical contact.
>Crossbreeds are notourious cuddlesluts.

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>>30425348
https://derpibooru.org/1254654

>>30425512
Well, I'm unsure of pony behaviours, but humans still run on a monkey/chimp/ape OS: it's just we run the Windows 10 version of it than the 3.1 version used in nature in our wetware.

I suppose the quick and dirty method would be to tack on human behaviours into pony behaviour, if you don't understand pony/horse behaviour in-depth enough (like me) to create a proper blend.

Subtly liking meat more, more tribal-minded (tribalism, we humans do it even on instinct), deferring to a group leader, often being more rebellious, etcetera.

>>30425614
Humans are a lot like bonobos, so a true hybrid not having a season like a pony but being sexually active all the time would be possible.

Or, for example, hybrid mares do have seasons like regular ponies, but are sexually active/driven all year round, like us apes -- they just can't get knocked up, if a hybrid has something they themselves can breed with.

That would have some interesting sociological effects in RGRE, heh.

>>30425620

Thanx a lot, Anon. You're a good guy.

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>>30425614
>Crossbreeds are notourious cuddlesluts.
>The moment your daughters can walk, you begin waking up every night to them cuddling you a little too sensually.
Eventually, you'll need to build a new room onto the house that's basically just one giant bed.

>>30425688
>Like cats, your children will rub up against your legs and want to be picked up.
>In the herd bed, they're practically glued to your side.
>You don't mind really. In fact, it's adorable that your kids want to be around you so much.
>When they get older and start school, the attachment issues become apparent.
>It's the human tribalism part of their brain going haywire and telling them to cling to the only other human around.
>Turns out having unique children is not without unique issues.

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>>30425416
She's not always at work.

>>30425790
I want to be the husband that a weary Harshwhinny looks forward to seeing after a rough day at work.

>>30425751
Your boys are a lot like you, and inherit your normal human man xenophilia, becoming popular and forming phat herds of girls who like a chill, unforcidly marish colt.

Your girls, however, are all daddies fillies, unable to find much attraction in inhuman faces, and unwilling to suffer the WHIMSY of a normal colt.

And you have a LOT of kids.

>>30425841
>Mares in the office comment that Harshwhinny looks years younger after being married and joke that it's usually the opposite.
>With a perfectly straight face, Harshwhinny replies "Most husbands arent low maintenance and put out almost every night."
>No one can figure out if she's serious or not.

>>30425841
All those foals and colts you've given her.

>>30425951
I dunno. Harsh seems like a mom who would stop around 2 or 3. She does seem like an older mare as well, so she may not want to push her luck with the amount of healthy foals she can produce.

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>>30425978
But I agree.

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>>30425678
It would be a criminal offence not to sauce that pic. Barely legal trainee Spitfire does things to my body.
I want to do things to her body though.

>>30421723
Liked it

>>30420792
Green about Dash
It's EqG Dash

D R O P P E D
D
R
O
P
P
E
D

>>30425867
this sounds absolutely adorable

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>>30426157
More Page Anon or any other pony green cannot come soon enough.
I'm tired of having half of his posts filtered and scrolling past the remaining ones.

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>>30422948
Than your helping both your sister and your mister

>>30425867
>the boys inherit your xenophila
>they bring home dragons, changelings, gryphons, buffalo, yaks, etc.
>chill burst introducing his wendigo marefriend made hearthswarming a bit awkward, but the ice sculptures she made for everyone smoothed things over.

>>30426263
I'd like more about that green where Celestia crashed into Anon's porch, going on about marriage.

His story about the human king and his entourage in Canterlot doesn't really do it for me, personally.

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>>30426271
FUG

>>30426283
Oh, I forgot about the Celestia one. I thought he said he wasn't going to continue it.

>>30426319
Yeah, I know. Which kinda sucks, 'cause I think it's far more interesting.

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>>30426317
You like?

>>30426271
>>30426317
>>30426408
>no hooves

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>>30426508

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>>30426521
the butteriest of breeding hips

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>>30426276
>they bring home dragons, changelings, gryphons, buffalo, yaks, etc.
>wendingo marefriend
Sonfus makin' dad proud.

>>30426538
didn't know morbidly obese meant 'breeding hips' now

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>>30426276
They're going to melt.

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>>30426042
>Spitfire is secretly into gentle maledom.
>Being a captain of a elite guard unit and a celeb means she has to take charge all the time for everything.
>It gets old fast.
>Behind closed doors though, she surrenders herself to you, letting you do what you will to her.
>After the first few nervous days, you get into the swing of it, but it all ends up being loving anyway. (Not that Spitfire minds)
>Spits never knew how much she was going to enjoy the ease of being subservient for once.

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>>30426758
Absolutely perfect.

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>>30426701
>When Anon gives his boys the birds and the bees talk, there are lengthy segments for the best way to please and dominate girls of very physically different species.

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>>30402032
I promised to do a thing
I hope you don't hate it.
>pastebin https://pastebin.com/u/PoppedAnon
>paste https://pastebin.com/wSBBJhvh

Fair warning, a tiny bet edgy at the start.

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>>30426801
>You are Anon
>And this is the end
>After Hillary’s decisive victory over Donald Trump, and Britain voting to stay in the EU the world went to shit fast.
>Cold War II was easily one of the fastest, with China siding with American money and the Seoul blitz. Russia fell into the hardest economic depression it has ever faced since the end of the U.S.S.R. and bent the knee
>That wasn’t the issue.
>Actually none of that shit mattered.
>It wasn’t until Hillary shed her disguise and revealed herself as Queen of the lizard people that things started going downhill.
>All the shit you managed to catch overhearing news briefs and from your squad mates boiled down to /pol/ and Alex Jones being right all along.
>”Shit, nigga. Just be cool, you gon be alright man, just be cool, just be cool.”
>Doesn’t matter much now.
>”White people always doin stupid shit, all the goddamn time.”
Trip, nigga just go.
>”Shut up whiteboi, we getting you out of this shit, we’re goin home, we’re going to eat your mom’s nasty ass food, and I’m gonna fuck you up for your liberal ass use of ‘nigga’.”
>You laugh
>Pain from where one of your lungs used to be reminds you that laughter is going to be a bad thing for the rest of your life.
>All 3 minutes of it.
>There is a grunt of effort and a fresh burst of pain as your open wound meets dirty BDUs as Tripfag hoists you over in a fireman carry.
>”Our father who art in heaven hallowed be thy na-”
>The sounds of gunfire and the hissing of fallen lizardmen become harder to hear.
>You focus on Tripfag’s panicked Christfagging instead of the inhuman battleground you’re leaving.
>Well if there is any time to hope there is something to make this hell worth it
Our fa-
>Fresh pain rips through your midsection
>”Ahh, fuck!”
>You topple to the earth once again, struggling to breathe as you face the sun.
Trip
>He grunts in reply, before groaning in pain.
>Fuck
You suck at rescuing people.

>>30426827
>You laugh together, yours’ a wet wheeze, his with far too much gurgling.
>”I’d be better if your fatass laid off the fucking pies.”
>You both chuckle as much as your bodies allow.
>”Ay, Anon...”
Yeah TF?
>”We gon die, ain’t we.”
>It wasn’t a question, but you answer all the same.
Yeah, probably.
>”You think there is anything after this, or are we done?”
I didn’t really think about it. I just let you do your thing and was happy you didn’t bring out a rug when you did it.
>Each word is still a struggle, but the pain is gone.
>That would be a good sign if there weren’t so many holes in you right now.
>”Grandma said that you sleep until Jesus comes back and sets this shit straight.”
Sounds….nice.
>”Pray with me for a bit, I’m gonna try and save your heathen ass soul.”
Ok.
>”Our father, who art in heaven. Hallowed be- say it with me nigga.
Our father, who art in heaven.
>Every word is a battle, but this is your bro’s last request
>”-forever. Amen”
Amen.
>Your body is completely numb by now, the sounds around you are dull, and darkness hangs on the edges of your vision.
>”-ou was always my nigga, Anon”
>…
>You tried to reply, but your body didn’t have the air to.
>”-non, please ni-… -ot yet.”
>You stare at the sky, blue as always with the exception of the smoke.
>”-esus, pleas-… -e go first.”
>It is such a nice day.
>You feel yourself sigh, but you don’t feel any fresh air replace it.
>Darkness overtakes you.
>There is a bead of light in your vision.
>It grows and grows without any input from you, the bit panic you felt before is washed away by bliss.
>Then the light fades out.
>You feel cold.
>Very cold.
>…
>…

>>30426859
>You feel warm
>Incredibly warm
>There is still no light, but the soothing warmth envelopes you in comfort.
>You hear some sounds but they are very muffled.
>You don’t know how long it has been, but you definitely remember your death.
>Is this what Tripfag was talking about.
>You feel comfy enough to sleep.
>So you do.
>You sleep as much as you can.
>You’re too comfy not to.
>After a while you figure that you’re not dead.
>It is hard to do so, and you can’t feel anything but the warmth properly. But you can move.
>You can’t move much, so you decide to sleep some more
>…
>When you awake you notice that you feel snug alongside nice and warm.
>This is frankly the best you’ve ever felt in your entire life.
>Lying in a warm bed on a cold day can’t even compare.
>Is this heaven
>Just a dark place of pure comfort.
>You silently thank Trip for saving your heathen soul.
>Moving is a lot easier too.
>You still can’t feel your hands, but your chest is in one solid piece.
>You stretch and prepare to sleep some more, but you forget about your snug barrier.
>It like everything else here is soft and warm.
>Soon afterword you feel a soft stroking on your side
>You hit the barrier again, harder this time and the stroking becomes more firm.
>Heaven confirmed
>You feel a small indentation like a large button
>You give a punch and feel another source of stroking, and go to sleep in a heaven made of warmth and headpats.

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>>30426871
>Heaven has ended.
>Your snug haven is now so constricting that your every motion hits the barrier.
>The comforting warmth is greatly reduced.
>You are trapped, and now the barrier is squeezing against you from all angles.
>”-LATING”
>You are being pushed into a tighter area, you feel like your head is being crushed.
>You hear screaming muffled by your prison.
>For the first time since your death fear seizes your heart.
>You try to scream but there is no air in your lungs.
>Your whole body is in the churning hell now.
>Two points of pressure are felt on the top of your head before it pulls
>”We got a horn, keep pushing!”
>”Buckbuckbuckbuckbuckbuck”
>”I can see its face! You’re almost there Mysty!”
>You try to open your eyes only to be blinded by the bright lights around you.
>You feel absolutely frigid as you’re pulled free from the tunnel.
>You couch up some fluid that was in your lungs and take your first breath in ages.
>”It’s a colt, a healthy unicorn colt.”
>You’re set down on a warm surface.
>You barely understand what you’re hearing, but your first instinct is to run.
>Sadly your time being immobile makes the simple effort of standing an undertaking, but you’re up in a crawl in moments
>”Already on his hooves, look at how strong your baby brother is Page.”
>You chance opening your eyes again, the unfamiliar light forcing you to squint.
>All you see is a wall of Lime green fur that slowly dissipates to two nubs.
>You must be next to an animal some where.
>”Of course he is strong, fella came from my stock.”
>Some instinct takes over you and you walk to the nubs and plant your mouth on one.
>You drink deep of what can only be described as ambrosia.
>”See, didn’t need a lick of help.”
>”Our precious colt, do you have a name for him Mysterious?”
>Your eyes scan what can only be described as a hospital room, before closing again as you enjoy your first meal.
>”Yeah, Anonymous. Anonymous Letter”

>>30426801
It's always a shame to see potential squandered.

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>>30426880
>You feel yourself falling asleep again, still drinking deep of the warm fluid.
That's it, just the prologue. I'll have some more around midnight

>>30426911
At first I thought this was going to be a another bit of skim-over fimfic level stuff, then I read all of it and found myself pulled in.
>Inb4 reee tf

I want more.

>>30426975
What counts as fimfic level stuff?

>>30426774
>"...in summary, never go out into the badlands without a jar of peanut butter, a length of string and tearaway pants."
>"Dad, i appreciate the talk, but how do you know so much about so many about different species?"
>"Son, i love your mother passionately, your number of siblings should prove that."
>"Eww, dad!"
>"But before i came to equestria, lets just say i spent a majority of my time...'researching' xenobiology."
>"...I really didnt need these mental images dad."
>"Well your mom likes it when i-
>"WOW LOOK AT THE TIME LOVE YOU BYE DAD."

>>30426880
>>30426871
>>30426859
>>30426827
I liked your interpretation of pregnancy.
Christfag former nigger brother has potential for comedy if i'm getting the implication correctly.
Also nice way to keep "anon" but as a legitimate name.

>It wasn’t until Hillary shed her disguise and revealed herself as Queen of the lizard people that things started going downhill.
Kek

>>30426980
Anything we don't like.

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>>30426911

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>>30426981
Seems like nice guy. Maybe he reincarnates as a zebra. Who does not rhyme anything.

>>30426871
>>You silently thank Trip for saving your heathen soul.
I laughed. 10/10

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>>30426911
I AM INTEREST.

>>30426911
Holy shit, what a strong start.

>>30426880
>colt
>unicorn instead of earthpony
Most writefags from anonfilly should learn from you.