RGRE: Reversed Gender Roles Equestria

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traditional relationship with fluttershy in rgre when

having to defend timid butterhush from jeering and angry mares when
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FhfRcWeT-lA

>>30106269
>How did it all go so wrong?
>Your plan, one that had taken months of preparation and careful managing all fell apart.
>Not because you made a mistake.
>No
>It was because of that- that thing!
>You had just finished your most magnificently orchestrated union mandated bad-guy monologue when he burst through the doors.
>The six ponies that opposed you ran away, terror marring their features.
>You didn’t understand why then, but now you did.
>He was covered in ketchup and screaming odd obscenities.
>Strange quips like “I’m not trapped here with you, you’re trapped in here with me beetleshit!”
>At first you laughed off the comical stallion.
>Perhaps after your conquest you would keep him around for your lings as a play thing.
>What happened next was pure chaos.
>He threw things at your lings, anything he could get his hands on.
>Pieces of cake, furniture, downed changelings.
>If it wasn’t fixed down he found a way to throw it.
>None if it mattered to him.
>The invading force began to dwindle in numbers, the disuises your hive used in an attempt to confuse him was pointless.
>At this rate all would be lost.
>As a last resort you all fled to hide within the confines of the castle with the hope that in time he would simply go away.
>He didn’t.
>Your magical link to your hive had shown you how he stalked them all in the shadows of the castle.
>The manic grin appearing in your lings peripheries right before he struck.
>You, Queen Chrysalis of the Southern Hive, were scared.
>Surrendering was the only option, but one that may no longer be possible.

>>30110646
Friggen lol

>>30110504
>traditional relationship with fluttershy in rgre when

It /would/ be her that would catch most of the flak from that. "Be a mare!" and so on. Where Anon would be more like a 'strong independent stallion' type of deal.

>>30109276
Not really a part of the thread, just a reply to someone from last one.

My little brothers going to college now, honestly colleges horseshit to just not a social clicky as it used to be in high school or old college. Right now he's going through a stem field, but his college keeps forcing to take semesters worth of social justice classes, liberal arts classes that are run by social justice people who made him write a paper on why the wage gap was real for an English assignment.

Not colleges fucking horrible anymore, it's just a necessity if you want some jobs, even though said jobs you are prepared in any way for doing the job through college and you would be better off learning on the job but for some reason the job requires a piece of paper saying you past even though you need to be retrained the moment you get there. Shits fucking retarded, but that's not really pertaining to this thread.

>>30111168
Can you try that again when you make sense? I could barely understand what you were trying to say.

>>30111286
sorry, keyboards fucked so I'm making due with what I got.

I'll make the points short

1) little brother is in a stem field
2) he is forced to take a fuckload of liberal arts classes for the degree
3) In the liberal arts classes, he is taught by social justice people, who one assignment in english was to write a 10 page paper on why the wage game is real

Basicly, collage has gone to shit, it may not be as clickey as it was in highschool, but you trade one shit end of the stick for another shit end, all for a job that collage doesn't prepare you for at all and you would better be served with on the job training.

>>30111309
Social justice is in literally every university now.

>>30111309
Wew, I can't believe the stories were real. Colleges really have become indoctrination centers.

>>30111309
Literally me right now, All the bullshit classes I have to take that do nothing for a sci transfer for UC are fucking stupid, I'm going to study medicine, why do I fucking care about dumb bitches that are going to make less than me because they picked a shit major?

>>30111617
A college degree is now the union card required to apply for any job where you're not competing with wetbacks working for twenty cents a day under the table.

Of course, 80% of the jobs it qualifies you for are now done by streetshitters on the opposite side of the planet for twenty cents a day, and the remainder require you to go to grad school and hope to get into the faculty and get tenure. Otherwise, hope u liek workin @ starbux

>>30111647
Glad I picked a field to go into that can't be outsourced or sold to wetbacks nd niggers then.

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>>30111647
>>30111656
>mfw pilot

>>30110646
oh, I like this. Great potential.

>>30111168
Yeah, that damned piece of paper.

>>30110646
>>Strange quips like “I’m not trapped here with you, you’re trapped in here with me beetleshit!”
I laughed.

>>30110646
Now we need a snippet from Anon's point of view where he's stalking his prey. Does he try to do the Batman: Arkham game stuff where he's popping out of vents or dropping down from a rope to grab an unsuspecting bug? Does he start running at them screaming incomprehensible things like some sort of Juggernaut? Or does he go way back in evolutionary history and start flinging shit like the primitive ape he is?

>>30111764
"RIP AND TEAR"

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BREED THE MARE

>>30111143
Not rgre I know, but I genuinely loled

>>30111788
Need a source

>>30111860
You can find it on first page of e621.net, searching for "friendship_is_magic". There is about 6 pages, this is the newest one.

I jus came to this "hands on pony shoulders" wayyy harder than I did to 4k no hooves VR video few hours ago. Fuck, I just love the idea of a female in pony form way more than real girls.

This one is going to be excellent.

>>30111860
>>30111891
Why do people keep using e621 for pony material ?
Derpibooru literally has 10 time more stuff and better tags.
https://derpibooru.org/tags/artist-colon-alcor

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>>30110646
made me chuckle, good job

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>>30111788

>>30110646
glorious

We should merge with Herd thread, just putting it out there

>>30112524
No.

>>30112526
Yes, that threads dead and this one has a bunch of people and no fucking green.

>>30112534
That's pretty much it. I might be able to work on my green on the weekend. I've been focused on my other story and real life this past week. Look forward to it.

>>30112534
I was just being a stubborn asshole, but that works as well.

>>30112541
Starved and hungry

>>30112546
Makes me sad inside anon

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>>30111309

That sucks.

>mfw my college doesn't force people to take a bunch of shitty liberal arts class run by SJW professors
>mfw my college doesn't have women's studies as an option so it's unlikely SJW types would show up to begin with

>>30112534
>we should merge with a dead thread with no content because we have no content
>he wasn't here when NOF, ghouls, and LaP posted last thread
how can you be stupid as to come to this conclusion?

>>30111788
My god that back rub panel. Muh sick.

>>30112609
>Muh sick.

Dude, you may want to go see the doctor about that. Might be contagious.

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>>30112609
>Muh sick.

>>30112609
>tfw no RGRE nurse waifu to take of muh sick

>>30111919
>why e6 for pony?
I go to e621 for pony stuff to add it to my favs there. They also support flash games n stuff, which derpibooru doesn't. Been going there longer anyway.

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>>30112994
it hurts

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>>30112609
>Muh sick.

>>30110365
>Chrysalis' sends her new and improved changeling horde to overwhelm Equestria.
>The siege continued for months and eventually the elements and other notable personalities are captured.
>The castle has been breached and the defenders overwhelmed.
>Celestia is cornered in the gardens. Tired and desperate. She's protectively carrying a small bundle of cloth.
>She's murmuring under her breath, she seems to be collecting various scattered debris into a pile.
>"Hahaha! The mighty princess of the sun, ragged and filthy like a common slave. Oh how the mighty have fallen."
>"Surrender, Celestia and I promise to spare your dear sister and your student"
>Green energy glowed from her twisted horn bringing forth a bunch of cocoons, Luna, Twilight and the Elements are trapped within.
>"I- I will never surrender to you!" Celestia replied her eyes darting from one direction to another.
>"Don't tell me this defeat broke your mind already." The changeling queen sneered.
>Twilight is distraught over the condition of her mentor but Luna is looking suspiciously at the garden.
>"Sister...Don't tell me-
>Before Luna could finish and Chrysalis could gloat once more Celestia tore off a nearby canvass covering a statue.
>"SISTER! TH-THOU WOULDN'T"
>"What are you talking about, pony?"
>An intense magical pressure released from the solar diarch. Destroying the cocoons Lowering the Changeling Queen, The Lunar Diarch and the Princess of Friendship to their knees
>"SISTER NO!"
>"LUNA YES!" Celestia cackled as she picked certain items from the pile of debris
and put it near the weird statue.
>"L-Luna what is she doing?" The princess of Friendship asked while the Princess of the Sun is placing a Ladder into the crook of the statue's arm.
>Celestia revealed the small bundle to be a sleeping foal. And placed it in the statue's hand.
>"AHAHAHAHAHA!" Celestia's mad laughter can be heard as the gardens are filled with light.
"I DON WAN NO TRABBLE"

>>30113183
Leave it to male to take care of the baby, right?

>>30113183
>carrying a ladder and a babby
>he don wan no trubble

Oh shit son. She's summoning Jackie Chan. Bugbutt, you done fucked up now.

>>30113239
see >>30113251
there is no force strong enough in any reality to overcome Jackie Chan defending a baby while equipped with a ladder.

>>30113303
I don't know why Luna's afraid, though. Whenever Jackie Chan appears, he gives the baddies a righteous ass-kicking, and then there are wacky hijinx and hilarity until the end of the film.

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>>30111788
Soon...

>>30113183
>meanwhile pinkie's instinctively terrifed for reasons she cant understand.

>>30113303
Im sorry to say, but its not RGRE enough.

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Pony fashion is... interesting.
https://derpibooru.org/1437972

>>30113251
If she does that, Chrissy will just summong Bruce Ling! (I wish I could draw, I'd make a quick sketch of a Bruce Lee Changeling...)

>>30113495
I swear that ponut is doing a duckface.

>>30113662
I left a comment for the image at the link, saying she needs googly eyes on her asscheeks so that she's doing a kissy face with her anus. °3°

>>30113662
...god damnit, I cant unsee it now.
>>30113669
Fuck, that's actually pretty funny, thanks for that image too now.

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>>30113680
>>30113669
And then there's this asshole who did pic related.

>>30113736
>ywn have an aquarium full of dash pleco's

>>30113314
He also eats horses.

>>30114007
And you eat chicken.

>>30114003
Anon needs to pull her away from the mutant, fuck some sense into her, and calm down. She's the baby sitter, not the mother. Natural hen instincts be damned

>>30114017
Okay, and? I'd eat the hell out of a griffon if that's what you're implying. At least to see what it taste like.

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>>30114047

>>30114047
Who wouldn't?

Isn't half the appeal of contemplating other intelligent species--whether we're talking about something as vanilla as Tolkien's Elves, or talking intelligent ponies, griffons, minotaurs, whatever--wondering what their sweat smells like? Wondering what their skin tastes like, what their vaginal secretions taste like? Learning just how to touch them, just how to make them moan and squeal? Yeah, okay, I think these particular pony muzzles look like they'd be absolutely perfect for blowjobs, too, but I want to eat her out first. Ladies first, and all that.

>>30114047
I wonder what friendship tastes like?

>>30114144
Pennies. I'm betting it tastes like pennies.

Cocksock

>>30114144
Salty milk and coins

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>>30114144
>tfw not knowing

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>>30114054
>>30114092
That's not what I meant you sick fucks!

>>30114836
I know what I said, I regret nothing.

>Anon applies for a job as one of the butlers in the Canterlot Castle.
>Turns out, butlers are actually maids in RGRE. what a big surprise, wow
>One day, he needs to stand in for his colleague Shining Floors.
>He sees Luna and chats with her.
>Accidentally slips in a dick joke and notices that Luna is completely flustered, stuttering on every fourth word, attempting to recover.
>She pretends to be fine.
>"O-of course, I- I too have seen many p-p-Penises! Th-They have very interesting shapes!"
>Her magical grip is spilling her drink all over the floor before it reaches her mouth.
>The spaghetti is practically materializing.

>Anon decides to mess with her more.
>Dresses in tight suit pants without wearing underwear, and then thinks sexy thoughts when Luna is around. .
>Unbuttons the top few buttons of his shirt when he knows Luna is watching.
>Always uses innuendo when talking to Luna.
>Accidentally bump into Luna on purpose, and try his best to get into compromising positions.
>"Whoops, how did my mouth get there? I'm so sorry. Good thing I didn't lick it, huh?"
>Luna is going crazy.
>She's at her limit.
>A mare can only take so much.
>Stupid Sexy Anon

>Will Luna finally succumb to her carnal urges?
>Stay tuned to [Discovery: Family], the home of [My Little Pony].

>>30114836
>I want to make Gilda flustered in public by preforming over the top public displays of affection
>I want to fuck her so hard fethers fall off
>I want to use those feathers to make arrows
>I want to go hunting with those arrows
>I want to skin my kill and make a rug
>I want to breed Gilda on that rug

>>30114932
Reminds me of an AiE story in which Ponka and Mrs. Cake kept making double entendres around Anonymous, in an attempt to see when he'd blow up.

>"Oh, Anonymous. I've got a nice big doughnut for you to glaze," she said
>bending at the waist, looking back over her shoulder
>then pulling a carton out from under the counter, containing an enormous donut the size of a bundt cake
>"What did you think I meant? You don't have a dirty mind, do you?"

etc.

>>30114965
Ooh, would read.
Pastebin link?

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>>30114949

>>30114972
I can't recall any more. It was one of the stories from the glory days of the AiE threads, back when they were going through two and three 500-post threads in a day.

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>>30114949
>Fletch arrows with a griffin's loose feathers
>Kill something huge and tasty.
>Bring it back to her and declare your love.
>Acquire eternally loyal birdwife.

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>>30115191
Nice.

>>30115191
>taking Gilda's virginity on a bear skin rug made from a bear you killed with arrows make from Gilda's feathers
>making a nest for your children out of animal skins from the arrows made from Gilda's feathers

>>30115836
>>30115191
Like a Native American you use every part of the animal
And fuck every part of her

>>30114932
I wanna see this, anon applies for a night role and mess with Luna through the night.

>>30114932
Seconding >>30116085. Seems like a fun premise just to tease Luna. I also want to see Celestia join in on the teasing.

>>30116554
Or anon just cucks her by teasing her sister in front of her

>>30116588
Cucking waifus is my fetish

>>30116986
You must be a terrible person.

>>30112524
>>30112526
>>30112534
>>30112596
In all honesty all story threads should just merge into a fanfic general, then most of the bitching would end over 'get the fuck out of the thread your kind don't belong here' bullshit that kills new writers and motivation for old ones.

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>>30117575
lmao no

not ever

>>30117575
there has to be ground rules though

>>30113303
Except maybe Chow Yun Fat with a sleeping infant, a banister, an unlit match, and an AMT Hardballer.

>>30117575
How about, you go fuck yourself seeing as your general is dead. We aren't dumb enough to accept everyone here, just be glad we are better for your failure.

>>30115836
>>30115191
>>30114949
My heart

>>30117820
post fanfics, If there is a human or an oc, it should be anon or some form of anon.

Thats really all the ground rules there needs to be.

>>30117839
considering the only two generals I ever read or participated in were aie and here, not sure what the fuck you are on about. But lets look at who your predecessor was, aie, and take a good hard fucking look at it. They came from 2-3 threads a day in their mid 100's to the most recent thread went 15 days. There are possibly 20 threads here that are just fic threads, I may have lumped in some character threads rather then just fics because they all blend together, all of them seem to be doing as 'well' as each other, with this thread doing the best for now. You remember aie's heyday? Every fic was allowed, no one really bitched and they ignored the ones they dont like, then one autistic fagot decided that he had to reeee about aie needing rules and reeeed the ponies in earth people off the thread. That was the beginning, then they went after flutter rape and its themes, and it just kept going down hill from there, the most recent thread that was 15 days long, had 5 people post stories in it it seams. I remember the heyday you got 30-40 people in just 1 days worth of threads posting actual stories not just one post ideas.

Honestly thinking of just making a pastebin thread and see where that goes, no greens, no nothing really, just a singular place to dump a pastebin and see the reactions people give them. Autism drove the 4chan pony fics apart and autism keeps them apart. I would personally rather see all the threads consolidated possibly the mods increase the bump limit for the fic threads to 2000 posts and 500 images, If only for the fact you can't have people bitch eachother off the thread for decided I want to mix rgre with twilight not believing in anons technology, or wait, a few threads ago someone had the idea of nightmare moon + anon but people told them to take it to moon...

>>30118071
Fuck your exess of rules

>Be Jake Long in Equestria
>Grandpa told you to go through a portal to rescue your uncle Chan, so here you are.
>In horseworld.
>You're not sure where in horseworld it spat you out though.
>It looks like someone's spare room.
>You open the door and try to find some kind of clue where you are.
>After going down a hallway and out the front door of the house you find that you were indeed in someone's spare room and that now you are on Nigger Street, just near it's intersection with Kike Lane.
>So basically in some kind of suburban suburb.
>You really need a map or something.
>Not knowing where to find one, you take flight and look for someone who does.
>You soon find a flying horse who you wave down and talk to.
"Hi, I'm new around these parts looking for my lost uncle. Do you know where I can get a map or something?"
>"Your uncle is missing? Have you told the Ponice?"
"No, I don't even know where any police stations are around here."
>"You'd better follow me then."
>The winged horse takes off again and you follow them to what is apparently the local police station.
>The two of you go inside and you explain you're new in horseworld and are here looking for your uncle.
>They listen to you and open a missing persons case for you.
>"We'll keep an eye out for any leads on finding him for you, Mr Long."
"Thanks officer."
>"I just wish we could do more, but this is just a medium sized suburb without any adventurer groups."

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>>30117575

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>Drunk in Equestria.
>You are Anon, and you're drunk.
>Your girlfri- uh, marefriend Coco Pommel suggested you go to the bar for the night.
>And after she said that maybe the XO cider was perhaps a bit too strong for males to be drinking-
>Well, you sure showed her!
>Six mugs of XO and you're a mess.
>You drape an arm over Lyra.
"YOU PONIES ARE SOOOO MUCH FUN!"
>Lyra blushes and chuckles, adjusting herself below the table, "Yeah we are... How about you show us a little dance?"
>Her mare friends with her hoot and holler.
>"Dance! Dance!"
>Coco tries to speak up over the sudden madness of mares cheering and clanking their mugs together.
>"Anon, please sit down!"
>Her voice is drowned out.
>You raise a hand and bring the ogling mares to a hush.
"Now, now girls. There's enough of me to go around!"
>A random shout of "SLUT!" comes from the back of the bar.
>The mares begin to boo and throw things at the only stallion in the bar.
>What a nerd.
>You shuffle to the jukebox and press buttons randomly.
>Gotta git ur groove on tho.
>A song starts up.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5NV6Rdv1a3I
>You turn back to the bar and throw your hands up.
"I LOOOOOVE THIS SONG!"
>The mares erupt in cheers and whistles as you start shakin' your booty.
>You can see Coco covering her face at the bar.
>She hates it when you have fun.
>"Take off your shirt!" Octavia shouts and throws some bits on the ground at your feet.
>You oblige and pull your shirt off, spinning it like a helicopter around your head as your hips gyrate.
>Suddenly, mares are throwing bits like crazy.
>Looks like your bar tab is paid for.
>"Shake it, boy! Take those pants off!"
>The shower of bits increase along with the shouts to remove your pants.
>Making money in Equestria is so easy!
>These mares can't wait to give you their cash, and all you have to do is have fun.
>You could get used to this.
>Maybe not Coco though.
>She's just a prude.
>After you make her a hefty amount of fun money, she'll understand.

>>30118334
haha noice

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>>30118356
Juss horsin' around m8, how u been?

Anything you want to see on that prompt list, or sumfin? I'm down to do a diddly for the thread.

>>30118371

Lets see, how about what that anon said earlier about cucking pones and pretending he doesn't know what his doing?

>>30118404
Can I get more context, m8?

>>30114932
>>30116085
>>30116588


>>30118462

>>30118312
why did all the writers fuck off to a discord chat room? If I bounce an idea in this thread around I would be told to fuck off because people who read the thread will autistically reeee over the content or the idea. people can like it or not but the writers fucked off to arguably a better place to bounce ideas off each other.

If the thread was less singlemindedly focused, you could have them do that in thread rather then off site.

A few threads back someone claiming to be the guy who made the racing anon came in thread and said they made more of the story, did they ever drop a link?

>>30118583
No, not that I remember.

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>>30118582
The discord chat room is BNW's seekrit club, it's how he stays in touch with people he likes from this thread.
Contrary to what you believe, we don't just sit in the discord all day on our radiant writefag thrones, occasionally descending upon the mortal realms to bestow greens upon the unworthy masses.
We still have discussions here.
We still come and post on the thread.
We bounce ideas here too
We just do it without the trip because we're not turboautists.
Regarding the matter of you being told to 'fuck off' whenever you post an idea, consider the following:-
- Maybe your ideas are unpopular.
- Maybe your ideas are just a little too fetishistic.
- Maybe your ideas are unpopular because they are fetishistic.
But if a few, extremely vocal people don't like your ideas and hurt your feelings, then maybe this site not the place for you.
Try pic related for a website that would love and accept any idea you come up with.

>>30118838
So, next week Thursday?

>>30118879
Considering NOF's speed, it can be somewhere between tomorrow and the end of time.

>>30117575
You're barking up a dead tree anon. People would rather their thread die then merge.

>>30118954
Why merge.
Once merged, people would be unable to have coherent discussions about singular topics.
The topics would be scattered.
If I were to browse a thread dedicated to fanfic, it would be so fast I would miss many stories I personally want to read.

>>30119128
>it would be so fast I would miss many stories I personally want to read.

For a while. AiE used to go through 2-3 500+ post threads in a single day, too. Now it's more "pg 10 bmup" posts than anything else.

I've never seen a fandom die so fast. I wonder whether Starlight Poochie was introduced deliberately to drive us away. If so, well played, Hasbro. Well played.

>>30118334
Oh, Anon, you're such a Rarity.

>>30118838
OH YES

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>>30118838

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>>30118334
a mighty kek was had

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>>30119150
>drive us away
I wonder why?

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>>30118838
oh man here it comes

>>30119517
Oh, I know perfectly well why.

I can be profoundly ashamed of other people in this fandom and be deeply saddened by the reactions their behavior causes in everyone from Hasbro to the average person on the street, simultaneously.

Existence is suffering.

>>30112945
>>30112973
>>30112994
>>30113152
Fuck is autocorrect why mobolposters get the hate I see?

But really muh duck.

>>30119786
FUCK DICK YOU TAKE THE DICK AUTOCORRECT. DICK DICK DICK

>>30119786
not auto correct, i just forgot to type "care"

>>30119520
Stop forcing this shitty picture everywhere.

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>>30119823
abloo bloo bloo

>>30119823
calm down its only been posted here twice.

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>>30119786
Who said you were getting hate? Was a funny typo.

>But really muh duck.
Pic Related.

>>30119862
Kinda a site-wide hate of phoneposters from what I've seen. Maybe its just a few assburgers posters out there.

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>>30119823
Never.

>>30119925
No, its just funny to point and laugh at losers. Speaking of, QUACK!

>>30119150
It wasn't the fandom that died, it was the fact they let literally everyone with a fetish or shit idea in and let them stay, by that fact we never do it, and even with writefags ditching the thread for a secret club, we still have people around to keep the thread going and on topic.

>>30120171
>we still have people around to keep the thread going

he said to no one, in the dying thread, on the dying board, for the dying fandom

>>30120195
Stay mad.

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>>30119520
>>30120090
>that back rub
>that ass squeeze
>that side holding
ffffffuuuuuuck

>>30115191
>Be best griffon.
>Also known as Gilda.
>You’ve been hanging out around Ponyville.
>Mainly because that dweeb princess said that the hooman has taken a liking to you and you can’t leave instantly as it could hurt him or something.
>Of course he took a liking to you!
>You get all the colts!
>Even if they don’t show it.
>Or talk to you.
>Or like being around you.
>You definitely don’t cry in your nest at night because you’re lonely!
>Not you, nope never!
>Anyway the human has been collecting your feathers for whatever reason.
>You don’t care, if the dweeb wants drop feathers he can have them.
>Although you haven’t seen him since he went into the Everfree yesterday.
>You offered to come with him, but he said you couldn’t.
>Damn hard headed colt.
>Dweeb better not have gotten hurt.
>You sit in a tree tail swaying back and forth in anticipation starring at the woods.
>”Hey Gilda, what you doin’?” A colty voice calls definitely not scaring you.
>You look down and see Anon dragging a big buck.
>Instantly you jump down and get in his face.
“Where the buck were you!”
>He jumps back.
>”Whoa, I was in the woods Gilda, calm down.”
“Calm down? Calm down! What if you got hurt dweeb!”
>You say extending your wings and puffing your tuft.

>>30120470
>”I was fine, and look what I got!” He says lifting the buck by the horns. “I figured we could maybe share it.”
“I don’t care about a b- wait… share?”
>That… caught you off guard.
>”Yeah, I mean I did use your feathers on arrows to take it down.” He says pulling one out the bucks side and giving it to you.
>You look at it’s back and see one of your molted old primaries.
“You… killed this buck with my feathers?”
>”Yeah, why?”
>He killed a buck.
>Not only that but with your feathers…
>Daddy your getting grandchicks because this griffons gonna get some monkey dick!

>>30120479
I love romance with best birdcat.

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>>30120470
>>30120479
>gildas face when

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>>30120479
>>Daddy your getting grandchicks because this griffons gonna get some monkey dick!
kek
noice

also
>*you're

>>30120640
Grammar is a social construct, stop being such a bigot.

>>30120663
My dick is a social construct. That didn't keep your mom from screaming when I stuck it up her ass last night.

>>30120785
Was she screaming in disappointment?

>>30120793
Yes. She was disappointed that you don't know the difference between "your" and "you're."

>>30120479
>>30120470
That is probably one of the hottest things a griffin can think of

>>30121091
>be Anonymous
>be inna hoers land
>live inna Everfree Forest inna cave because ponies are h8rs
>need to hunt
>make bow
>make arrows
>arrows need fletching
>find some feathers
>make arrows
>kill a durr
>be dragging it back to your cave with arrow still sticking out
>whoompf
>pissy looking griffon grrl drops outa tha sky
>she smirks at you, somehow, with that bird face that doesn't have lips
>"Nice work, dweeb. The ponies told me about you. I didn't think anything else had the stones to live out here, much less go out hunting with just a bow."
"Uh. Nice to meet you too, I guess."
>she squints at the arrows
>"You make these arrows?"
"Yeah."
>"Decent work... hey, are those MY feathers?"
"Fuck, I dunno. They were on the ground. You want 'em back?"
>she jumps on you right there
>rape
>except not really, you're kind of into birbcat because she's not a mealy-mouthed pony

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>>30120640
>>30120663
>>30120785
>>30120793
>>30120860
Thanks for the chuckle.

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>>30118472

>When you replied to the ad for 'Butler Wanted At Canterlot Castle', you didn't actually think you would get the job.
>When you got the job, you didn't think it would actually be the roll of a maid.
>In Equestria it seems, the gender roles are different than those on Earth.
>Now you are 'Anon the Maid'.
>Here, mares are referred to as butlers and stallions, maids.
>It doesn't really matter though.
>You still get to do an easy job for a generous amount of money.
>And you get to wear a fancy suit provided thanks to the castle treasury.
>You have been working in the castle for bout a month now and have just recently transferred to night shifts.
>During the day, there is far too much commotion in the castle.
>And being a human, you are a natural distraction to ponies just wondering what the hell you are and why you're cleaning the giant mural of Twilight Sparkle, muttering to yourself about squash soup.
>Anyway, your supervisor has moved you to the night shift.
>It's much easier.
>And sometimes you get to see Princess Luna.
>She's a rare sight to see even at night.
>Must like her privacy or something.
>Tonight you are on floor duty for the west wing.
>The usual pony in charge of this, Shining Floors, is out sick tonight.
>His name is actually fucking Shining Floors.
>As you go about sweeping some dirt from behind a large vase on the 4th floor, you hear the tell-tale sound of hooves clopping against marble.
>A pony is approaching.
>Very lazily too.
>You stop sweeping and look up.
>Princess Luna steps from around the corner, meeting your gaze.
>A goblet of some drink floats along magically beside her.
>Without hesitation, you give a bow.
"Good evening, Princess Luna."

>>30121844

>Luna nods back at you, "Good evening, Anonymous."
>Oh, she knows your name.
>"We have been wondering when we would meet you finally."
>We?
>What did she mean by this?
>Is she referring to herself as 'we'?
>"Our sister has been telling us a most interesting being has become one of the new night maids. We have just seen your work on the floors below. Most impressive."
>You smile and give another small bow.
"Thank you, Princess."
>The truth is, most of the other maids and butlers really suck at their jobs.
>It must just be a pony thing.
>Because your cleaning makes it look like the ponies are just moving dirt around.
>Maybe they are.
>Luna looks at the ground, "Tis remarkable how pristine you can make these floors shine, Anonymous. How do you do it?"
>Talking with Luna is actually not as intimidating as it seemed.
>From far away, she looks forboding and serious.
>But up close, she actually smiles a bit and has a bit of a soothing voice.
>You rub your nose and boast a bit.
"Just some good ol' elbow grease, Princess."
>Luna looks confused, "Elbow grease?"
>Oh, right. Ponies.
>Without thinking, you hold out your broom and stroke the shaft.
"Lot of practice in my younger days, you know? I have a pretty firm grip on the ol' shaft."
>Oh shit, you got too comfortable.
>Luna's eyes grow wide and her face flushes intensely.
>You go into damage control mode and bow deeply.
"My apologies, Princess! A slip of the tongue!"
>Great, now you're talking about slippery tongues.
>This is where you get fired.

>>30121847

>Luna clears her throat and takes a drink from her goblet.
>You can see that it's shaking in her magical grip, spilling what appears to be grape juice all over the floor.
>More for you to clean...
>Luna chokes a bit and covers her mouth, "Nonsense, A-Anon! No need t-to sensor thyself! We h-have heard QUITE the uh, p-p-penis joke in our day! Haha..."
>Oh God, this is bad.
>She's spilling spaghetti at an alarming rate.
>You have to fix this and change the subject.
>"O-Of course, I- I too have seen many p-p-penises! Th-They have very interesting shapes!"
>Her wings extend suddenly, one hitting a small vase of flowers off the hall table next to her.
>It crashes to the floor, shattering everywhere.
>Luna stares at it with wide eyes.
>You can practically see her heart beating in her chest.
>"SORRY! We will clean that up right away!"
>You hurry over with your broom.
"Please! This is my job Princess. I can't let something so minor get in the way of your nightly duties."
>Luna tries to take another drink and fails, her eyes glued to your hands gripping the broom as you sweep.
>"Of... Of course. We m-must be going!"
>Before you can say goodbye, Luna is running down the hall, her wings still erect and tail held high.
>Holy shit.
>Did you just fluster the Princess of the Night sexually?
>It's almost like she reacted like a virgin dude would react to a chick talking to him about her puss-
>Wait.
>The gender roles are quite reversed here in Equestria.
>And Luna said penises had interesting shapes or something.
>Could that mean...
>Princess Luna is a virgin?
>A sexually frustrated virgin?
>A small smile creeps over your face as you sweep broken glass into a pile.
>This could be fun.
>After your shift, you'll have to go to the tailor.

>>30121853

>The next night, you make sure to be on the fourth floor again.
>Now you know this is the way Luna comes after her midnight lunch.
>Being the devil you are, you had the tailor fashion you a tighter pair of dress pants.
>And neglected to wear underwear.
>This little plan was either going to get you fired, or give you the funniest reaction you could think of.
>Just as you are dusting, you hear Luna's hoof steps approaching.
>Fired or not, this will be worth it.
>Luna steps into the hallway once more.
>You turn away from the painting you're dusting and bow.
"Good evening, Princess Luna."
>Luna looks a bit uncomfortable and nods, "Hello, Anonymous. A pleasure to see you again."
>You make a point to brush your small feather duster over the crotch of your pants as you speak.
"The pleasure is all mine."
>Luna's eyes dart down, then back up.
>You can feel your manhood react a bit to the stimulation and swell against the tight material of your pants.
>Luna can obviously see this as well.
>Her wings start to unfurl a bit.

>>30121857

"How is the night going, Princess?"
>Luna tries to avert her gaze past you down the hall.
>"N-Nice. Tis a nice night uh... Tonight. How a-are you?"
>You reach up and unbutton the first few buttons on your dress shirt.
"It's so hot! Summer, right?"
>Luna shifts her weight and begins to visibly sweat, her eyes darting from your chest, to your pants, then to the floor frantically.
>You can tell she wants to end this conversation desperately.
>"YES! IT IS RATHER HOT! WE MUST TELL CELESTIA OF THIS!"
>She's shouting now.
>Her mouth clicks open and shut, trying to wet itself.
>You only smile and lazily rub the feather duster on your thigh.
"If I were a pony, I'd be so happy to just walk around naked. Let it all hang out, you know?"
>Luna doesn't respond, now clearly staring at the feather duster creeping across your thigh to your crotch.
"These clothes are so stifling. Maybe I should just take them off... Would that offend anyone?"
>Luna gulps and closes her eyes, her wings now at full mast.
>"Good luck with your cleaning, Anon!"
>The Princess teleports away.
>Now alone, you have a good laugh and go back to dusting.
>Poor Luna.

>>30121867

>After a few nights of teasing Luna, your supervisor notices you talking to the Princess.
>She seems pretty mad about you 'bothering' her, so she moves you back to day shift.
>Bitch.
>It wasn't like Luna was making a point to avoid you every night.
>She must be a masochist, coming to the fourth floor every night to get a dose of your sexually suggestive conversations.
>But now you're back on days.
>Today you're waxing a floor just outside of Celestia's room.
>The door opens and Celestia steps out, yawning.
>It's noon, what the hell is she doing here?
>She stops and smiles at you.
>"It seems my secret's out. Hello, Anonymous."
>You stop buffing the floor and bow.
"Good afternoon, Princess Celestia."
>"I think you're now the only one to know I take an afternoon nap. Can we keep it just between us?"
>She grins in embarrassment.
>Seems like a relatively harmless habit.
"Of course, Princess."
>Celestia seems pleased and looks at the floor, "I don't think I've ever seen these floors shine so brightly! Wonderful work, Anon."
>You suddenly have an idea.
"Thank you, Princess. Just a bit of elbow grease."
>Celestia takes your bait.
>"Elbow grease?"
>Before you can do your shaft bit, Luna comes trotting down the hallway.
>"SISTER! WE HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS HEAT! WE CAN'T SLEEP AND-"
>She stops and looks at you, "Anonymous?"
>Celestia gestures to the floor, "I was just telling Anonymous here how wonderful his work is."
>You hold up your rag and smile slyly at Celestia.
"Just a bit of elbow grease. Lot of practice in my younger days, you know? I have a pretty firm grip, right Princess Luna?"
>You make a lewd motion with the rag not too far from your crotch.
>Both of the sisters give and uncomfortable reaction to this.

>>30121871

>Celestia's eyes widen.
>"Is that... S-So?"
>Luna's mouth hangs open and she stares at her sister, clearly shocked at her reaction.
>You keep inocently stroking with the rag.
"Oh yeah. I'm quite skilled at polishing things. Knobs, rails, floors, shafts, knobs..."
>Celestia's tail swishes behind her.
>"Very interesting. Would you care to touch up the floors in my chambers? I'd love to watch your work."
>Oh shit.
>Luna makes to interject.
>Celestia opens the door to her room and turns her back on her sister, blocking her with extended wings.
>You stop jerking the rag and walk into the room.
>Celestia follows and closes the door behind her.
>Luna pounds on the door outside.
>"SISTER! THE HEAT! AND ANONYMOUS MUST HAVE OTHER WORK TO DO! O-OUR ROOM COULD USE SOME STROKING-, ER CLEANING!"
>Celestia sits down and smiles at you, "Please show me just how you make the floors shine, Anonymous."
>You give a bow.
"Of course, Princess. Just one thing."
>Celestia tilts her head.
>You unbutton the top few buttons on your shirt.
"It's so hot! Summer, right?"
>Celestia's eyes widen again.
>Her hoof starts fanning her red face.
>"So it is! Feel free to make yourself more... Comfortable."
>She's not as awkward about this as Luna.
>Maybe this was a bad idea.
>You can hear Luna still pacing outside.
>"SISTER PLEASE!"
>Celestia smiles and motions to you.
>"Anonymous, if you would?"
>You start removing your shirt.
>Equestria is weird.


There ya go m8.

>>30121875
Fucking kill yourself, cuck shit get out.

>>30121875
Fucking kek. Nice job dude.

>>30121875
Bretty gud

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>>30121853
kek
oh my

luna the easily flustered virgin princess

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>>30121875
10/10

>>30121875
That was pretty good.

>>30121875
Gosh darn lol, i wanna see more clueless anon being to damn sexing and suggestive without know it

>>30122037
>clueless
He knew fully well what he was doing.

>>30122059
Haha yeah but i wanna see it when his completely clueless like the dumb blond stereo type

>>30121885
That's what Anon asked for tho, m8? A kekacuckarino kek

Glad some other people liked it. Anon is such a whore.

>>30121875
Best song to singing for luna
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BPwZaQfoIbU

>>30122092
Keep going Leaf, you're going good there.

>>30120479
>leaving the arrow in your kill while dragging it presumably several miles
REEEEEEE

My first post around a month and it's over this shit

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Ayyo Hol up

Dropping soon

>>30122675
OH SHIT SON

HERE IT COMES BOI

>>30122675
Chapter 3
https://pastebin.com/4wGMsAch
Starting from line 908

“Mmm!?”
>You stare down at the still-warm cookie held in your fingers with immense surprise as the sweet flavor coats your tongue. The smell alone was enough to make your mouth water and bring fond, nostalgic memories of easier times to the forefront of your mind. The taste though…
>Spectacular. It takes a shameful amount of effort to keep from ramming the rest of the little treat into your mouth and diving for the tray of other confections Pinkie had brought back.
>Pinkie, leans in front her spot next to Rarity on the couch closest to you, her large blue eyes sparkling in anticipation.
“Is there real sugar in this?” you ask simply, staring at the bite-marked sweet as if it would reveal some grand secret. “It’s good. Great, even. Better than anything I’ve had since I was young.”
>The pink confectioner grins widely at the praise, then stops and furrows her brows in confusion when the first part of the you sentence catches up with her. “Real sugar? Of course it’s real sugar! What other kind of sugar is there?” She asks with a tilt of her head.
>You’ve noticed that ponies do that a lot.
>“Ya’ll make it sound like you’ve not had sugar before,” Applejack chimes in skeptically, stopping mid-bite into a delicious looking pink cupcake. “Er, you do have sugar on your home planet or whatever it is, right?” The orange mare asks as an afterthought.
“We do,” you asker, finding the shiny dollops of chocolate on the confection you hold to be supremely fascinating for some reason. “It’s just been quite some time since I’ve had the real deal and not something artificial. I had almost forgotten the taste.”

1/x

>>30122686
>“What!?” Pinkie nearly shouts, her eyes wide and whole form screaming ‘Scandalized!’ “Nearly forgot the taste of sugar!? How is that even possible? I don't think I could ever forget!”
‘Forgetting a taste? Tragically, it’s quite a bit easier than one would think.’
You shrug awkwardly and try to not turn away. “We, er, I just had other... more important things to worry about. Sugar wasn’t very high on my list of priorities,” you offer lamely, hoping they didn’t ask more. When you saw some of the ponies around you exchange looks, you quickly added on; “Look, it’s a bit personal so…”
>Luckily your hosts are courteous enough to not pry after that, but you see curiosity on all the faces present.
>“That actually reminds me!” Twilight exclaims with a delighted, if clumsy flutter of her wings. Not a moment later, you feel magic in the air and her ridiculously long parchment list from earlier appears in a bubble of purple that pops shortly after.
>Once again, it drops and rolls across the ground right out of the room, even curving to make the doorway as if mocking the alicorn.
>Said alicorn scans through her list intently, heedless of her friend’s quiet giggling and your chuckling.
>“Here it is!” she says, now hidden behind the floating parchment. “I’ve been wondering since breakfast. I saw you eat both eggs and various greens, as well as common spices. What sort of diet does a hyoman have, Anon? I’d like to know so the next time we go shopping, Spike and I can get everything needed to keep you healthy.”

2/x

>>30122690
>A frown pulls at your lips when you hear Twilight talking about providing for you. You don't want to be in her debt any more than necessary.
>She and her friends are nice, but being independent will keep you out of social trouble nine times out of ten. Regardless, you keep your thoughts to yourself.
“Well,” you start, wondering if a bunch probable herbivores are going to be unnerved by what you’re going to say. “Humans are largely omnivorous and eat both plant and animal matter.”
>Sure enough, there are some concerned expressions being exchanged amongst your listeners. Both Rarity and Applejack lean back slightly, their faces guarded. Pinkie just bounces back from her surprise back into a smile. Twilight and Spike look between each other, but little else. Surprisingly, neither Rainbow or Fluttershy seem fazed. The yellow pegasus just nods like she expected such a thing. Her more colorful friend…
>“Really? But your teeth aren’t all that big.”
>Rainbow leans closer from her spot next to you, practically in your face with her eyes locked on your mouth.
You lean back as far as you can without toppling over your seat. “Uhh, Rainbow? You’re awful close.”
>“Duh? How else am I going to see your tiny teeth?” She replies like it was obvious. “I saw sharp ones, but they’re so small. If you’re a meat eater, how do you hunt?”

3/x

>>30122691
“You’re taking this whole ‘carnivore’ thing better than I expected…”
>“Well sug’, you ain’t the biggest thing we’ve ever seen with meat chompers,” Applejack drawls, “And you haven't taken a bite out of Rainbow yet for bein’ so close.”
>“Eck! Rarity!”
>A band of light blue magic wraps around a startled Rainbow, who flails a bit when it pulls her back into a seated position.
>“Rainbow, pleaaaaase have some manners,” the white unicorn pleads dramatically. “We’re all glad to have a new friend in our company, but there’s no reason to be invading his personal space like that. It’s especially rude to do that to a stallion!”
>Rarity just went up a notch in your book.
>“He’s not a stallion, though!” your seatmate argues heatedly. “He’s a…” She trails and and looks at you.
>“Man,” you provide helpfully.
>“A man!” The pegasus triumphantly parrots with a smile and crossed forelegs.
>“Let me rephrase then: it’s rude to do that to a male, ANY male,” Rarity sniffs.
>Rainbow grumbles, not admitting defeat but not arguing further, earning her a round of good-natured laughs from her friends. After a short few seconds pouting, she turns back to you, as questioning glint on her magenta eyes.
>“Anyway, like I was saying,” she starts, pointing a hoof at your face. Or maybe a specific part like your mouth? It’s hard to tell where the detail-less limb is pointing. “How do you catch anything to eat? No offence, but you don't look all that fast, or strong, or…” The prismatic pegasus seems to reach an epiphany. “Of course, you’re an alien! I bet you can spit acid, or have freaky mind powers, right?” She asks excitedly

4/x

>>30122694
>“Ooooooooooh!” Pinkie and Spike’s eyes widen, while the rest of the mares seem more skeptical. Rarity’s hoof is even introduced to her face.
You can't help but smile a bit. “Sorry. No acid, no mind powers. No ANYTHING powers to be exact.”
>“Awwwwwwww...”
>Twilight clears her throat. “Once again Rainbow, too many cheesy, low production alien movies.”
>“They’re not cheesy!”
>“But I find myself curious as well, Anon,” the alicorn continues, ignoring her fellow winged pony’s reply. “You don't have any readily apparent way of hunting or incapacitating prey. So how do you do it?”
>You chew on your lip, finding the current line of questioning off-putting. The last thing you want to do is make a bad impression or reveal unnecessary information about yourself. None of them had commented on your gun or armor, so that can reasonably mean a few things.
‘One, they have no idea what either are and therefore are not prepared should I need to use them. That’s the best case scenario.’ You think.
‘Two, they know what guns are, but simply don't care because a weapon like that is not a threat to them. If they knew, and did not have a defence, they would have stripped it from me already. Worst case scenario.’
‘Or three, they have no idea, but the weapon still isn’t a threat. Not really good anyway you view it.’
“Well…” you comb your brain for a vague answer. “Why the interest? I have no reason or want to hurt any of you,” you deflect.
>Twilight recoils with a startled half-extension of her wings, as if not expecting such a response. When she answers, you realize that’s exactly it. “I was never accusing you of that. It’s just academic interest…”

5/x

>>30122696
>You look at the small pony intently, trying to find any evidence of a lie, falsehood, half-truth, or any other deceit. All the you get though is a slightly shaky mare with a hurt expression set on her face. The others seems similarly caught off guard.
A sigh escapes your lips. “I’m sorry, Twilight. I suppose that I’m still feeling a bit jumpy is all. That was… rude of me to assume,” you apologize, letting your eyes fall away from hers and onto the hands on your lap. You’re so out of your depth here it isn’t funny.
>“Anon, there’s nothing to be ashamed of or sorry for…” Fluttershy softly speaks for the first time since her introduction. “This is very frightening and different. We all understand that, right?”
>The yellow pegasus gets a chorus of agreements, making a tender smile blossom on her face. “You don’t have to answer anything you don’t want to, but if you do, we won't use any of it against you. I promise,” she finishes firmly, practically reading you like an open book.
>This one is sharp. Very sharp.
You force yourself to smile. “Thank you, Fluttershy. That means a lot to me,” you tell the winged mare, trying not to let strain in your voice show. “To answer your question, Twilight,” you start, a vague explanation in mind as you turn back to the now excited alicorn. “Before my kind began producing farms with livestock, and before ambush hunting with primitive projectile weapons, humans started out as persistence predators.”

6/x

>>30122699
>Your most rapt listener’s face morphs into confusion. “Persistence hunters?” She asks more herself than anyone. She turns to Fluttershy only for the butterfly marked mare to appear just as unsure.
“Ancient humans would just wound potential meals and slowly run them down until exhaustion,” you elaborate. “It’s a low effort way to hunt, but it promises a meal if you have patience and stamina. Even if said meal is many times faster than you.”
>That draws wide eyed looks from your audience, the last thing you wanted. A shiver then visibly runs down Rainbow’s spine from her spot next to you, drawing your attention. “Whoa. Is that even a real thing? No joke?” she asks, blinking her large eyes at you.
“It is…” you answer carefully, wondering if you had offended or frightened her somehow.
>The rainbow mare shuffles her wings, averting her gaze from yours. “That’s…” She pauses, searching for words. “That’s weird..?”
“A bit,” you agree.
>“Well, I guess a better question is what DON’T you eat?” Twilight asks, pulling your attention from Rainbow “If just give us a list of things to avoid, then we can do that.”
>You take a moment to think.
‘What would I not eat? I guess I’m not real picky…’
“Unprocessed grains and most grasses are the biggest ones to come to mind,” you reply after a moment, making Twilight scribble on her scroll with a quill she materializes with some purple magic. “Uncooked meat is a no-go as well. I’m not sure if you eat flowers or not, but most flowers are off too. That’s about it, really.”

7/x

>>30122701
>“Really?” Your summoner asks skeptically. “That’s a very small number. You’re not missing anything else?”
>“Other than obviously inedible things, like anything poisonous to a lethal level, that’s really it,” you say with a nod. “If I missed anything, I’m sure I’ll be able to point it out upon seeing it, but I’m fairly sure that’s everything.”
>Twilight chews on the end of her quill in thought, then writes a few things down.
>“So does that mean you like more than just what I brought here?” Pinkie asks, a sparkle in her eye.
>Look back down the the half-eaten tray for treats she brought back from, where was it? Sugar something Corner? You take stock of everything left.
>Cookies, brownies, fudge, donuts, cream puffs, a now gone pie, a few things you can’t even name, and an impressive selection of cupcakes of all colors and flavors. All things you haven’t had in so long. Just looking at it rouses your appetite even with your stomach already full.
You smile at Pinkie. “Certainly. It’s been years since I’ve had sweets this great.”
>She looks practically ready to burst with excitement “Perfect! We can go to Sugarcube Corner after this and get you a bit of everything! It’s all hoofmade home recipes made by Mr and Mrs Cake and myself and everypony in town can’t get enough and-!
>Pinkie is cut off when Spike’s chest swells, and out of his mouth comes a gout of green flame in the form of a belch, surprising everyone in the room.
>None more than you, however.
>DANGER CLOSE TAKE COVER NOW

8/x

>>30122703
>The instinct demands that you jump to your feet and dive over the couch the instant the first embers of the flame start registering to your brain, and you do not disobey. In fact, you don’t even realise that you’ve moved until the backplate of your plate carrier smacks into the ground with a ‘Thud!’, nearly knocking the wind from your lungs.
>“Anon!” comes multiple frightened voices.
>The ponies and the dragon all run around the couch you threw yourself over, frantic and looking down upon you with concern. When an orange hoof lands on your shoulder, you flinch and jump back into a standing position, vainly trying to fight the post-adrenaline shakes in the arms that were wrapped around your head just a moment ago.
>“Anonymous! Are you alright, dear? What happened!?” Rarity asks in a frazzled manner, taking charge of the conversation.
>You don't answer immediately, instead surveying the room around you in confusion. No scorch marks, no open fires, no structural damage, no shrapnel damage. Everything looks spic and span. What was with the fire?
“Rarity?” you ask unsurely, still taking stock of what happened. “What was that flame? The one that appeared from nowhere just a moment ago?”
>“F-flame?” The pony questions hesitantly. “What are you talking ab-” she cuts herself off, a look of realization dawning on her face. “You mean Spike’s flame? That’s just how the princess sends mail to Twilight.”
“Spike’s flame..?” You murmur confusedly to yourself, slowly turning to the little reptile, whose eyes are wide with fright after the recent events.

9/x

>>30122707
>“Y-yeah…” Spike stutters, his usual casual attitude absent. “It’s magic. P-princess Celestia can send scrolls like this to me,” he says in a subdued voice, holding up a rolled up scroll in his paws. “Like this.”
You suck in a deep breath, finally feeling the trembling in your limbs settle. “So the fire was magic, huh?” You question more yourself than the ponies and dragon. “Well, alright. Pal?” You say to Spike, who looks up at you with his wide, childish eyes. “Some warning next time, okay? I’m sorry about flipping out like that, and I’m certainly not mad, but some things just make me… Jumpy.”
>The little drake nods rapidly. “Yeah, s-sure…”
You give him a small smile and turn back to the still staring mares. “So anyways, the letter?” you ask, hoping to deflect the attention on yourself away. ‘Is it worth the effort to beat myself up over freaking out like that?’ You silently ask yourself with genuine conflict. ‘The sudden light and heat immediately made me think ‘explosion’. Do I REALLY want to suppress such a reaction?’
>The gathered ponies all desperately look like they want to ask what just happened, but Fluttershy makes a disapproving sound in her throat and shakes her head at her friends, stopping them to your relief.
>Twilight snaps out of her stupor with a shake of her head. Her horn lights up, gently pulling the scroll from Spike and undoing the wax seal at once. The alicorn scans over the letter, her eyes running over the lines at a rate only an avid reader could achieve. As she goes, her face falls into one of abject dread, making your heart sink. “She’s coming!”
>“That’s what he said!” Giggles Pinkie behind a forehoof.

10/x

>>30122712
>“Pinkie! This is no time for dirty jokes!” Twilight exclaims in a panic. “I thought Princess Celestia would just send the paperwork I requested and leave this to me like I asked. This is terrible!” the mare finishes, her wings ruffled and ears pinned back.
>The persistent pit in your stomach deepens. Why is Twilight referring to this other princess like she’s a superior? They both hold the same rank and title, correct?
“What’s so bad about this other princess?” You ask, hoping you’re not speaking out of turn.
>Applejack answers. “Ain’t nothin’ bad about the princess, sug’,” she says with a roll of her large green eyes. “Twilight’s just working herself up like usual. Ah’d just give her a minute.”
“Well, that’s a relief. For a second I-”
>“What do you mean ‘I’m just working myself up’? Applejack, this is Equestria’s millennia old ruler we’re talking about! You know, the one who moves the sun every day!?” Twilight says over you, her voice irate.
“-Had the feeling something was...up…” you finish weakly. “Did you say, ‘move the sun’? As in literally moving the star closest to the planet?” you ask in a small voice, ignoring the “millennia old” part for now.
‘She didn’t mean that literally, did she? Moving the entire sun?’

11/x

>>30122713
>The sheer scale of an endeavor like that goes well and beyond what you could even imagine, even with magic acting as a crutch for your suspension of disbelief. How could one even affect the trajectory of a goliath nuclear furnace nearly 10 million miles away? You know nothing of magic, but how? Does this magic have no rules or restraints? If you thought Twilight to be powerful to a godly level, then this Celestia must rest on the same plateau as beings who birth and end entire worlds on a whim. Like something out of a cult handbook or wild fiction.
‘And she’s coming HERE.’
>Just as you felt you were getting a basic grasp of this strange land, another curveball is thrown your way with the force of a cannonball. It’s even worse since that curveball impacted squarely on your already fragile peace-of-mind.
>Twilight blinks and drops her irritation in favor of looking at you. Or rather, your now rapidly paling face. “Anon?”
A nervous laugh bubbles out of your throat. “Twilight? You remember how I said humans aren’t well versed with magic? The whole “move the sun” thing was a kind of a big bomb to drop out of no-where…” You tell her with a not-at-all-happy smile, fighting hard to crush your swelling terror. “I think I’ve going to sit down for a second...”
>Without waiting for a reply, you walk around to the front of the couch you were seated on and fall heavily on it, swallowing the bile in the bottom of your throat while you were at it. Another weight you vaguely register as Fluttershy settles next to you, but you hardly notice over the pounding in your skull. Only a few hours here and you’re already wishing you were in Lynchburg instead.

12/x

>>30122715
>The whole library falls into an awkward silence.
>“Anonymous?”
>You turn your eyes to Fluttershy, who gazes on you with those damningly understanding eyes. “There’s no need to worry. The princess is one of the nicest ponies there is. She won’t hurt you, and on the off chance she tries…” The little yellow pegasus takes a breath, steeling herself. “I-I won’t let her.” Fluttershy says with fragile resolution, her chest tuft puffed and wings opened the slightest amount.
The sight is so adorable you can’t help but smile and feel the tightness in your chest loosen. “Thanks, Fluttershy. That means a lot to me.”
>“I won’t either!”
>Fluttershy squeaks when Rainbow Dash drops down right next to her, squishing the yellow pegasus into the soft back of the furniture. Rainbow puffs her own chest out even more than her friend’s and extends her wings fully, putting all her bright blue plumage on display not unlike a peacock. On her face is a confident, self assured smirk.
“Two of you on my side? Must be my lucky day.” Again you smile, more out of amusement this time.
>“Dash, do you gotta strut like a fat pigeon for every stallion who talks to you?” Applejack asks as she looks over the back of the couch with her forelegs draped over. “You scared poor whatshisname? Wind Stream? Last time you did that.”
>Rainbow squawks like an angry parakeet, complete with aggressive flaps of her wings. “I did not!” she cries with a scowl “He was just overwhelmed. I’m a lot of mare, after all.”
>“I dunno, Dashie,” Pinkie says next as she lands right between a startled Rainbow and Fluttershy, who was smooshed further into the furniture. “He flew off awwwful fast,” she says playfully, leaning into Rainbow as she drags out the “w”.

13/x

>>30122716
>Rainbow uses her still open wings to flutter to another couch with her scowl still in place, making Pinkie loose her balance and tumble off, nearly smacking into the tray of sweets on the coffee table. No longer pressed face-first into the furniture by the weight of her friends, a woozy looking Fluttershy slowly pulls herself free.
>You smile at the antics in front of you, thoughts of magical juggernauts and impossible feats of celestial bodily motion forgotten for a few moments.
>But only a few moments, as a slight pressure on your nonexistent sense slowly begin to mount, coming from the north and building. It’s a vast thing, as the closer it comes, the more the feeling bears down upon you. With it, an odd... warmth? Is that a proper descriptor? An odd warmth that reminds of you of the sun.
>The sun…
>You gulp, but find your mouth dry as cotton.
>There’s nothing you could have done in life to prepare you for this, you realize. How would one even prepare for a meeting with a being who could casually move objects countless thousands of times larger than a planet?
‘Nevermind her being royalty, that’s nothing compared to the sheer power that comes with holding dominion over the fucking sun,’ you think ruefully.
>The ponies could just be lying to you, but what would the purpose be? The still growing sensation on your strange 6th sense also leads you to think they’re telling the truth. There’s no escape from this. Just...
>Breathe in…
>STEEL YOURSELF NOW
>Today, you meet God.
>Breathe out...

14/x

>>30122721
>The growing shaking of your arms halts and your face falls into a practiced mask of neutral calm. Hiding your fear might be in vain before what you’re about to face, but it’s far better than openly quaking. If you’re lucky, then this Celestia will find you amusing and/or inoffensive enough to keep around. If you're truly lucky, then she won’t realize she’s face to face with a facade. You want to entertain the thought that this princess is actually kind, or that Rainbow and Fluttershy will hold up to their promises, but common sense tells you it’s a pipe dream at best.
>The massive magic source is close and now slowing. So close, that the sensation of static runs across your skin.
“Say, Twilight?” You casually ask the alicorn now coming into view of the circle of couches. “When did the princess say she was arriving?”
>Twilight mulls it over as she hops up onto a seat with Spike following a moment later. “She didn’t say. She just said that she was on her way and not much else,” the purple pony says, now calmer herself.
You nod, accepting the answer without much thought. “Fair enough,” you reply, then fall silent afterward.
>For a moment, you sit and let your arm dangle over the side of the couch, where your hand plays with the top straps of your pack absently.
‘Yet again I’m going to stare what could be my own end in the face.’ You think to yourself mirthlessly. ‘I just can’t act stupid, I need to walk out of here alive. Nito needs me.’

15/x

>>30122726
>You glance down at your pack as your hand digs in one of the top-most pockets. In there, your fingers wrap around a single small bottle. A shake tells you there’s only one pill inside.
‘Really, one is all anyone ever needs.’
>You click your tongue in self-annoyance for such thoughts and zip the pocket back closed.
>The titanic magic signature, now moving along the ground at a relaxed pace, stops near the library. It’s so close you can feel the charge in the air. Had you smelled any ozone, you would have thought you were do for a lighting strike.
>You shift a bit for a more comfortable position, feeling your Colt 1903 Hammerless hidden in your waistband poke you, as if to say “If things get ugly, draw me.”
>The idle thought makes you smile, even if violence would be useless.
>*Knock knock!*
“Not exactly the grim toll of a bell, but the sound is ominous nonetheless…” you mutter to yourself.
>Twilight shoots up from her seat and sprints for the door, the others standing and following at a more relaxed pace. You stand and trail behind, standing at the back of the group and trying to keep your cool.
>Both Applejack and Rainbow glance behind them at you, then move to stand in front of you as one. Rainbow lands from her usual hover to do so.
>By now, Twilight is skidding to a stop at the front door and grips the knob in her magic, pulling it open.
>You don't expect what’s next.

16/x

>>30122729
>Through the open door steps a creature right out of a fairy tale. An alicorn like Twilight, but that’s where all similarities end. If you can call the ponies you met today ‘cute’, then this being is well and beyond beautiful.
>Standing just a bit shorter than you is a tall, lithe pony with fur the same color as snow, and a living aurora of a mane and tail moving in an ethereal wind. On her head is a spiraled horn nearly as long as your forearm, and on her sides, folded wings much bigger than than her fellow alicorn’s. Eyes the same color as amethyst with twice the luster regard Twilight with warm, almost motherly affection. The few steps she takes inside are the epitome of grace, even with such a simple action. From her slight angle in the doorway, you see her flank emblazoned with a picture of an eight pronged sun. And her very presence…
>The pressure against your sense reaches a new high and levels out, leaving you feeling as if you're submerged deep under heated water. Your skin crawls and twitches at the alien sensation.
>...Her presence is like standing before a roaring, burning star of unfathomable size. Ever ready to provide life and light for the splendid world under her and all live there, but with the power to reduce any and all to ash with just an annoyed flicker.
>Delicate is the visage of Divinity.

17/x

>>30122730
>A quiet gasp pulls air into your needle-filled lungs once you realize you stopped breathing nearly a minute ago.
>“Princess!”
>Twilight closes the distance with the divine alicorn, who smiles tenderly and leans her head down, happily accepting a cheek-to-cheek nuzzle with her smaller counterpart.
>“I apologize about the abrupt arrival, my former student,” Celestia says in a voice as sweet as melted caramel, “but after hearing what happened, I felt it prudent to come myself and see.” She pulls back from the nuzzle and extends a wing, booping Twilight on the nose with a wingtip. “And there’s no need to call me princess anymore, remember?” The taller alicorn playfully adds. “You and I are equals in rank now.”
>Twilight’s muzzle scrunches and her eyes cross as she vainly tries to look at the spot she was booped on, earning her a gentle giggle from the larger pony.
>The amethyst eyes lift from her old protege to the group of ponies just a few meters away, the smile under the eyes still as inviting. “Hello girls.”
>“Hiya, Princess!”
>“Lovely to see you again, Highness.”
>“Hey Princess.”
>“Yur Highness.”
>“...Hi Princess…”
>“...Ahem?”
>“Annnnd handsome drake,” Celestia adds with a larger smile, a trill in her voice like she wants to laugh. “I’m glad to see you all again. I only wish it was under more fortunate circumstances…”
>After long last, her attention finally falls to you.

18/x

>>30122734
>The stoic mask you've honed from countless encounters with the worst of humanity nearly shatters when eyes older than your entire family line lock onto yours with unreal intensity. It’s as if she looks past you, into you, judging everything you’ve ever done and damning you for it. You can almost feel it.
>She slowly moves closer, her shoe clad hooves making only the slightest *click* against the library floor. The pressure builds.
>You don't move. You can’t.
>The others part around her as Celestia clears the last few meters, amethyst orbs still pinning you in place with their stare.
>Finally, she stands before you hardly armsreach away, her muzzle just reaching your chin in height, and her horn just a few inches above your head.
>Without warning, the infinitely piercing eyes soften, glistening with sorrow. “You poor colt…”
>Her huge wings slowly and wrap around a very confused you, pulling a you into a hug so impossibly warm that she must be using magic. The sounds outside the feather cocoon seem to fade away, unimportant for the proceedings.
>“I can't apologise enough for wha-!” The Goddess stops when she hears a quiet *ting* and looks down.
>Resting right above her gold chestplate and against her breast is your gun, with your finger on the trigger. Ready to blow a fist-sized hole through her.

19/x

>>30122736
>Her eyes widen such a small margin it’s almost impossible to see. She slowly looks back up, her face still sympathetic and unafraid as her wings adjust enough to keep the gun out of view. “There’s no need for that,” Celestia murmurs in a subdued tone, slowly raising a foreleg and calmly but slowly pushing the weapon away from her. “I’m not here to hurt you.”
>FIRE NOW
>You finger twitches, but doesn't follow through.
>A lump travels down Celestia’s swan-like neck. “Mister Anonymous?” she asks quietly, pulling away slightly when she sees your wide eyes and clenched jaw.
>The instant her body leaves yours, your senses return, and horror floods your entire being. From the top of your spine to the bottom, you feel nothing but the cold iron of the reaper’s scythe, ready to claim you.
>Jesus Christ, you just about made an attempt on the life of a Goddess.
>You suck in a ragged breath and try to form an explanation. Something, ANYTHING to save you from the damnation about to befall you.
‘Come on, think!’
>Just as you open your mouth, Celestia shakes her head. “No no. Mister Anonymous. I rudely overstepped my bounds with you, and I apologize. Can you forgive an old princess for her lapse in courtesy?”
‘What.’

20/x

>>30122738
>You give the alicorn an absent blink and holster your Glock 20, not really sure how to respond to her apologising to you. You’re the one who tried to kill her for fucks sake! She even knew she was being threatened by how she pushed the gun away! What the fuck is going on?! This doesn't make sense!
All you can really do is nod and mutter “Sure, yeah Princess. It’s all good,” still too shocked to form a proper response.
>She gives you a small, melancholic smile and turns back to the others, who for some reason don't seem to have realized what just happened. “Well girls? What are just standing around for? I see some of the fine creations of Miss Pinkie just sitting and getting cold.”

-----------------------------------------------

21/x

>>30122742
>You glance over at the human still staring off into space as he has been for hours, responding to questions with one word answers or letting silence answer for him. Occasionally, he would look to you when he thought you weren't looking, his narrow eyed gaze trying to puzzle you out with such intensity that you had to force yourself not to squirm like a foal.
>Raising the cup of tea, courtesy of Spike, to your lips in an aura of gold you take a sip as you ponder the tall biped with the heartbreaking eyes. That is what truly stood out most about him. The innocent looking foal-eyes filled with enough raw emotion to turn any who saw past them into a mess.
>Your heart clinches just thinking about it. You saw it when you approached him and wrapped him in what you thought would be a comforting hug. It was just supposed to let him know he was safe amongst ponies, and that he had a shoulder to cry upon. In hindsight, it was foolish. Even as a being beyond the aether, he was obviously no normal colt.
>The phantom sensation of ice cold steel against your breast still persists, and the fresh memory makes your heart race.

22/x

>>30122745
>It was the closest you had been to death in over a thousand years. What exactly the little gadget of metal and plastic is, you’re unsure. But from the foul aura wrapped and seeped into its very being, you have no doubt that was a weapon. One that has taken lives. For a moment, you entertained the idea of taking it away. It took only another moment for you to realise how horribly that could backfire.
>But the one holding the weapon is what made you truly worry. What could have caused such obvious damage? Was it being ripped away from his family? The thought alone would send the average pony into a tizzy.
>Possibly being away from his mates and foals? Everypony has heard of the grief and scorn a jitted father could create.
>...Or was something far more sinister behind it?
>Turning your eyes away, you glance at the sun out the window and feel the burning foal eyes return to you. It’s nearing sunset.
>You set your empty tea cup down just in time to hear the tail end of one of Pinkie’s jokes, smiling as the girls laugh heartily at it, seemingly unaware of the tension between you and the tall male.
“Well, girls,” you start as you stand and stretch your legs and wings. “I’ve very much enjoyed this relaxing visit, and I’m glad to had the chance to meet you, Anonymous,” you finish, turning a smile to the human.

23/x

>>30122748
>He takes a moment to answer. “The pleasure is all mine, princess,” he gently replies with his deep voice. “I look forward to our next meeting, should such a thing occur,” he says with forced, artificial politeness and crossed forearms.
>Your smile twitches, but does not fall. For some reason, his words rouse self-disappointment within you.
“But I’m afraid I need to go. I must return to Canterlot before dark.”
>The collective “Awwww” from the mares in the room makes you smile, and the smile only grows when Spike runs forward to give your legs a hug.
>You lean down and kiss the little drake on the head with a giggle bubbling out of your throat. He turns red and retreats back into his throng of grinning friends.
“And before I go,” you begin, pulling a set of papers from behind your chest piece with a bit of magic. “I have these for you, Anonymous. I took the liberty of filling everything out before hoof. You just need to see the mayor tomorrow and have a photograph taken for the records.”
>You drop the papers in his outstretched hands, watching as the dextrous digits flip through the small stack with his foal-eyes scanning over each page with lightning speed not usually seen on a stallion.
>“My citizenship papers, I assume?” He correctly guesses. “Thank you, Princess. You’ve taken a real risk with this just to give me, an alien, the same rights as your kind. I appreciate it,” he finishes with a respectful bow of his head.
“Please, Anonymous. Just Celestia behind closed doors. We’re friends.”
>The neutral mask on his face cracks just a bit as his lips turn downward. “That’s rather disrespectful though…” he says carefully, as if expecting a trap. “Someone… Somepony of your stature should be afforded at least a proper title.”

24/x

>>30122749
You nod. “Yes, but this is only for behind closed doors, remember?”
>The downturn of his lips vanishes so fast you wonder if it ever was really there. “If that is what you wish, I will not disobey, Celestia.”
>Again, self-disappointment surfaces.
You nod, not letting your inner feelings show. “Now, I’ll set the sun before I go. I’m sure it will be a treat for you.”
>The burning feeling returns to the back of your head as you turn and look out the window, where the sun has slowed to a stop in the sky. With a deep breath, you seat yourself and begin.
>The vast wellspring of power inside you surges, filling your horn and making it glow with a heavenly light. From the planet, and around it, you feel countless tethers and tendrils of holy power only you can see sprout.
>You take a deep breath, and feel the true drain now.
>The tendrils of light race towards the sky in a sight only your sister is able to share with you. Faster and faster they grow, becoming streamers of energy so fast they might laugh at light’s poor speed if they could.
>Silver streams rise from the earth too, no doubt Luna’s doing.
>As they rise, the gold strands of energy interweave and collect, forming a single great, world eclipsing limb of infinite strength. In nary a second does your titanic arm reach your Sun, and has you’ve done have for thousands of years, you grasp the great fireball with the limb, which is comically thin in comparison.
>Then you PULL.
>Your mana drains at a rate that anypony would call insane as the ethereal muscle strains and stretches, slowly dragging your stubborn charge lower in the sky, and making way for it’s much smaller sibling.
>The cooling charms in your tiara activate, keeping the budding sweat on your brow away.
>For a harsh few minutes you drag your Sun, feeling your mana drop lower and lower until half if it is gone.

25/x

>>30122753
>Finally, the sun begins moving on it’s own as it dips below the horizon, no longer needing your guidance. A sigh of relief escapes you as your control slips, letting your arm lift off the planet and into empty space, where it will fade.
>Using the entire planet as a focus. Such is the insane genius of ancient alicorn magic.
>You smile and turn to your audience, receiving excited applause from your former student and her friends. The man amongst them however, just seems lost on what he witnessed.
>The smile on your face fades.
>“It’s not every day we get to see that. Thank ya kindly, princess,” says the Element of Honesty with a wide smile. “And I think ya got the right idea. I need to be heading home. It’s been a joy as usual, gals, but I’ve got work in the morning.”
>“Me too,” Rainbow Dash mutters glumly.
>“I think we ALL do,” Rarity chimes in. “Today has been most exciting for sure, but I’ve much to do in the morning.” The fashionista turns to the still unresponsive Anonymous, who is looking out the window at the sky. “Anon, darling, it’s been a pleasure meeting you, and I hope to see you again soon. In fact, stop by my shop should you be out and about. I would adore a visit.”
>The tall man lets out a shaky breath and turns his emotional eyes down to the white unicorn. “Yeah, sure thing Rarity. I’ve got things to do tomorrow apparently, so I’ll stop by if I have time,” he says breathlessly.
>Rarity beams.
>“H-hey! What about me?!” Rainbow exclaims, zipping in front of the surprised human with a neglected expression. “You should come see me too!”
>“But you live in a cloudhouse, silly!” Pinkie says, bounding by with her picked-clean tray on her back. “How’s he supposed to get up there?”
>“I can come down!”

26/x

>>30122758
>“Maybe we should work this all out tomorrow?” Twilight cuts in as the voice of reason. “I think Anon would appreciate some rest before anything else, right?”
>“I certainly wouldn't object…” He says.
>Twilight nods proudly. “See? Now I think we’re holding everypony up. It’s been a fun day, erm. Mostly…” She sends Anonymous a guilty look. “We’ll see you girls tomorrow, okay?”
>Your once student gets a chorus of agreements, and one by one, the Elements file out, with Fluttershy as the last.
>Just before she leaves, she looks over her shoulder at the weary human, sending him her trademark kind smile. The sort of look that could stop a rampaging beast with ease.
>To your surprise and oddly misplaced disappointment, he smiles back just the barest amount.
>With Fluttershy gone, it leaves just you, Twilight, Spike, and Anonymous.
“Twilight,” you start, getting her attention. “I’ll have some of my best researchers and archivists start scouring and experimenting in the morning. I’ll not leave it to just you to figure out how to return Anonymous home when such a task is guaranteed to be monumental. Not to insult your knowledge or prowess, but just for…”
>“For Anon’s benefit. Got it.” She says, resolute in both voice and expression.
Then, you turn to the tall human. “Anon?” you ask, looking up at him. How odd, having to look UP at somepony.
>“Celestia?”
“If there is anything you ever need,” you start, feeling uncharacteristically awkward. “Just send a letter through Spike to me, and I’ll see it taken care off.”

27/28

>>30122761
>The man raises an eyebrow. “Of course.”
>...That didn’t sound very convincing…
>With a final nuzzle to Spike and Twilight, you exit the library into the cool air of your sister’s night, a featherweight spell already coating you. With just a short hop, you spread your wings and ride a low-hanging thermal up into the dark sky.
>As you slowly yaw into another column of rising air on your leisurely glide home, something strikes you as off now that you look back on it.
>Was Anonymous looking at the sky rather than the horizon when you moved the sun?

28/28

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>>30122766
POOPOO PEEPEE SHITTY STORY FOR YE

r8 n h8

Pastebin updated https://pastebin.com/4wGMsAch

>>30122766
sweet been waiting for this

>>30122690
>ground right out of the room, even curving to make the doorway
>that second half
wat?

>>30122694
>“Man,” you provide helpfully.
unnecessary green line

>>30122823
>>30122834
Just a heads up, LaP is the one who proofread this, so blame him.

>>30122771
I'm truly thankful NOF, I mean it.

>>30122694
>as questioning glint
a*

>>30122753
>>For a harsh few minutes you drag your Sun, feeling your mana drop lower and lower until half if it is gone.
*half of it is gone

>>30122970
>>30122943
Shit. I fixed most of everything on the bin.

>>30122766
Loved the interaction between Celestia and anon

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>>30122771
your my knew favorite writefag NOF.

Old misspelled and horrible promt.
Just found in the archive of the hero thread.


> Villain Anon in Comic Heroes Equestria.
> [Insert name of waifu here] is super hero.
> Anon is a not-so-bad villain.
>They do not know their secret identity.
> The relationship between them out of their villain and hero identities flourishes.
>They end up being a couple, and then they get married.
> Neither ceases to be its alter ego during that period.
> Both leave abruptly after they discover that Waifu is pregnant.
> The years go by and her baby grows to be a grown girl.
> Everything is quiet until recently, disasters begin to occur.
> Arriving at a climatic point, where they must enter the arena again.
> Not for money or for fame.
> But because they have someone to lose now.
> Now they must improve.
> They gotta stay pump, reach to the top and take control of the situation before it is too late.


> The super power of Anon is of the music.
> Every time you sing, you can use magic related to the song.
> Increased Evidence.
Https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=otCpCn0l4Wo
> Pyromancy
Https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IQbZ9gjRCTw
> Electrokinesis.
Https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d2KgoVyloPo
> In case of zombie apocalypse, use to rid the city of the menace.
Https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4V90AmXnguw
> Against necromancer attack.
Https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v04H7_fFC90
> Definitive weapon, use only if waifu and daughter die.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZNaecq_rpU

>When they discover each other identities, Anon’s anniversary gift.
>It’s a power up.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2XbOnBWeFr4&list=PLYD_fG4xADjrRcqNMvi7Z3w1_Qxp6MXjL

>>30122696
>‘One, they have no idea what either are and therefore are not prepared should I need to use them. That’s the best case scenario.’ You think.
>‘Two, they know what guns are, but simply don't care because a weapon like that is not a threat to them. If they knew, and did not have a defence, they would have stripped it from me already. Worst case scenario.’
>‘Or three, they have no idea, but the weapon still isn’t a threat. Not really good anyway you view it.’
Inside thoughts, unless the person is speaking with them via telepathy, need to be green. Its a common mistake, as it doesn't get brought up that often.

Assert dominance
https://derpibooru.org/1430312

>>30122701
>“Ancient humans would just wound potential meals and slowly run them down until exhaustion,” you elaborate. “It’s a low effort way to hunt, but it promises a meal if you have patience and stamina. Even if said meal is many times faster than you.”
Aaand you lost me. I wish this nonsensical 'theory' would die off already. No real anthropologist believes this. You'd burn more calories in the chase than you'd get from the prey.
And yes, I'm aware, some primitive tribes still do this, not as a regular hunting method, but as a rite of passage into manhood.

>>30111718
>can't be outsourced
>pilot

are you clinically retarded?
drones have replaced you militarily, and even commercial flights are going that way, regardless of how much litigation resists it

>>30122766
I like it when you do pone perspectives

>>30123290
Got sources for your claims?

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>>30122712
Flutters da real mvp here.

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>>30122716
>>“Dash, do you gotta strut like a fat pigeon for every stallion who talks to you?
KEK

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>>30122736
Holy shit nigger, he pulled a piece on the princess of the fucking sun. Got some balls on him.

Also I really liked the way you described Celestia.

>>30122766
I give this update a 10/10 my man.

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>>30123321
>even commercial flights are going that way
Yeah, maybe in a fucking century. I don't think you understand how little people would trust A FUCKING COMPUTER to control everything. Even now autopilot still gets people killed through a host of reasons, not to mention I doubt insurance would very much enjoy the idea of automated aircraft.

There's always going to have to be a pilot, you dip.

>>30123290
I'm not so sure. An elk or moose has a shitload of calories in it, plus a skin to make into clothing, plus hard tough bone that can be made into stuff like arrowheads, etc.

Maybe you burn three thousand calories a day chasing that moose down. Maybe you use fifteen thousand calories total before you corner it and get to brain it with your flint tomahawk or make it run over a cliff or whatever. It's got more than fifteen thousand calories in it, plus skin, heavy dense bone suitable for making tools, etc. This is how endurance hunting works. Every book I've read, plus the stuff on Wikipedia, describes our ancestors as cursorial predators.

Also,

>real anthropologist

The field's been 100% politicized and full of SJWs and out-and-out Marxists for sixty or seventy years now. No surprise that it's full of bullshit and people playing "no true Scotsman" games, just like "climate science." So, please, as >>30123338 so kindly requested, give us some citations for your rather odd claims. Thanks.

>>30122771
Fucking amazing, best reaction to magic I've seen

>>30123442
>Yeah, maybe in a fucking century. I don't think you understand how little people would trust A FUCKING COMPUTER to control everything.

Kek. You know they're already hard-selling "autonomous vehicles" to the proles, that don't even exist yet, right? People are jumping up and down and saying "TAKE MY MONEY" for a product that doesn't exist yet, just because they want to be the first on the block to trust their own and their kids' lives to software written by Deepak from Bangladesh for sixty cents a day.

>>30123442
computer driven cars are WAY harder than commercial flight, and they are less than a decade away

people lose that irrational fear of freak accidents, especially when pilots don't change much when freak accident occur anyway

and you do realize its not fear of the drone pilot that keeps that up, its the need to blame someone for the tragedy in the freak accident cases

>>30123462
>>30123465
And autonomous cars already have a kill count. Autonomous cars also STILL NEED A DRIVER. You NEED a human element involved for when shit inevitably goes wrong so it does kill everyone on board.

An automated aircraft blowing an engine or losing its elevators is going to end in everyone dying.

>>30121875
all that effort wasted on cuck shit
god damn

>>30123473
*so it doesn't kill everyone on board

>>30123442
why the hell do you think they have been streamlining internet connection on flights?
to support remote management of drone pilots

>>30123462
>People are jumping up and down and saying "TAKE MY MONEY" for a product that doesn't exist yet, just because they want to be the first on the block to trust their own and their kids' lives to software written by Deepak from Bangladesh for sixty cents a day.
That's what we call a 'false equivalence.' That entirely changes when you're not the one behind the wheel and have absolutely no control whatsoever of the vehicle you're riding in.

>>30123473
look dude your fear mongering is clearly motivated by your bias

every early adopter enterprise with heavy machinery has a kill count

>>30123473
>You NEED a human element involved

That would cost money! Oy vey! Are you trying to put us out of business? Don't you want to be the first on your block to be flown by robots? Have we got a deal for you!

>>30123486
>That entirely changes when you're not the one behind the wheel and have absolutely no control whatsoever of the vehicle you're riding in.

Go look up the word "autonomous" and get back to us.

>>30123486
>when you're not the one behind the wheel and have absolutely no control whatsoever of the vehicle you're riding in.
that describes every passenger on a flight already

>>30123503
>having autonomy; not subject to control from outside; independent:

>(of a vehicle) navigated and maneuvered by a computer without a need for human control or intervention under a range of driving situations and conditions

I have no idea what you're getting at.

>>30123505
Yeah, and those flights have well trained pilots with years of experience who know exactly how to deal with a wide variety of emergency situations. There's an entire section in every PoH dedicated to emergency procedures.

>>30123462
driverless cars are a meme just like hoverboards are flying cars

>>30123517
you're really blind if you can't see thats where this is going

a neural network can be trained in half the time at worst, be distributed to all the planes, including updates, and never need brakes, or to be paid

compared to the human who needs years to be trained, needs breaks, needs insurance, needs a paycheck

the fucking military already proves it can handle funding bombs better, and humans are way fucking easier to handle

i don't even want it dude, i'm just being realistic here

>>30123517
>Yeah, and those flights have well trained pilots with years of experience

...and that costs money. Are you RACIST against robots, or something?

This IS the future. The TV will tell people to want it, and they will want it, and soon enough human pilots will be forced out in favor of software written by the absolute lowest bidders in the most backward Third World countries, and the bankers and the people who own the airlines will continue to roll back and forth on their ever-growing, enormous piles of money like Scrooge McDuck swimming in his Money Bin. "Autonomous" trucks will haul goods long distances.

It doesn't even matter whether it's safer for the public or not. It'll be a fatter bottom line for the fat cats at the top--the same ones who own the newspapers and the TV networks which are currently hard-selling this shit sandwich to the public.

...also, remember, robot aircraft have been delivering stuff precisely to pre-selected places for decades. It's just that we used to call them "cruise missiles."

None of this has anything to do with ponies, let alone RGRE. it'd be a stretch to make it relevant even to the 'tech/'science isn't magic' thread.

>>30123538
Except you're expecting airliners to retrofit every single plane in their fleet into being autonomous, you're expecting insurers to suddenly be okay with an aircraft flying itself with no human supervision, and you're expecting passengers to trust a pilotless aircraft in the first place.

I don't care if they have the technology, which they don't, because it's going to take a long fucking time regardless to implement. And I have no idea what you're even implying with the military at the end of your post there, drones are still piloted. They're not fully autonomous.

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Who would be an RGRE equivalent of bald guy from BRAZZERS?

>>30123551
>of software written by the absolute lowest bidders in the most backward Third World countries

see the funny thing is that's not even necessary

neural networks fucking write themselves, making inscrutable code, and get better outcomes than army's of programmers, in absolutely no time

its scary

>>30123551
>It's just that we used to call them "cruise missiles."
This just invalidated your entire post. That's basic GPS navigation that's been around for a long time.

>it's a "Thread Derailed By Unrelated Topic" episode.

>>30122771
God damn Nof. Why aren't you writing a real book? Discounting spelling errors, this is the kind stuff you see in novels

>>30123561
>Except you're expecting airliners to retrofit every single plane
no' i'm not
that's just a straw-man

change doesn't need to be instantaneous with no gradient, to be the obvious outcome

>>30122771
Im enjoying this a lot ive always liked what you put out cant wait to see where it goes

>>30113736
why would someone shop an asshole into her face?

>>30118838
I'm gonna need the story behind that pic NOF.

>>30120860
Point

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>>30121875
holy shit my sides

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>>30122736
>Resting right above her gold chestplate and against her breast is your gun, with your finger on the trigger. Ready to blow a fist-sized hole through her.
OH SHIT NIGGER WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

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>>30122771
mah nigga you should be writing books

>>30122839
There was a "loose" instead of "lose" in there. I'm calling him out!

>>30122771
It always hits me when there is description of Celestia moving the sun, that it takes light around 8 minutes to travel from sun to us, so is their sun just a lot smaller and a lot closer, or is their light bypassing laws of physic or something?

Many writefags just describe their solar system as similar to ours and then make sun move the same moment Celestia starts to use her magic.

>>30120171
Dude this thread is basically Aie. Hell aie was pretty much rgre without the rgre being brought to the fore front. You want to see what killed the threads? It was stagnation, not 'fetishes', especially your bastardized version of what that word means.

There is nothing new pumped into the threads, so the theme is just that, the non writers get compliant and belligerent with what content gets posted in the thread and forces people out of the thread at best and out of even trying to write at worst.

What killed aie was the splitting every idea off into its own thread, then refusing to allow them back in. We had an rgre idea a few days ago with luna as the main pony to anon and people bitched it should go on moon instead, this thread is walking down the aie road and people like you are fucking prodding its ass with a pitchfork.

>>30120195
>Dying thread
Not so much, these still go by fast, just not like they use to
>Dying board
The oldest post that is about to 404 is from
05/19/17(Fri)10:19:36
over on /3/ the oldest post that is about to 404 is from
05/03/17(Wed)9:29:39
>dying fandom
Yes and no, its no where near the massive convention circuit that was happening around season 2 or 3, but its still going fairly strong.

>>30124255
It's magic, don't think too hard about it.

Anon being obliviously sexy to pones is good and all, but I like the stories where Anon blatantly uses his sex appeal to fuck with pones most of all.

Any such greens that anyone can recommend?

>>30123478
>>30121885
um... do we not know what cuck means anymore?

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>>30124440
People hate me 'cause they anus. Hahahaha

>>30124481
Leak is a fucking /pol/

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>>30121885
>using words and not knowing what they mean
>being a huge faggot

>>30124596
Every one is a /pol/ anon. Even you. Because you have a political opinion and spout it like a fountain of shit at anyone who differs from your world view. Don't argue, you know this to be true.
Also, MAGA faggot.

>>30122771
>Shitty story
You faggot, I'm invested as fuck. Glad to see an update

>>30122771
You need to keep going. Definitely appreciate the green drops like this.

>>30122771
calling it now, he never left earth, and was just moved around in time.
the line commenting that he was looking at the stars was about how he was looking at the stars to guide himself home.

>>30124440
It's the popular phrase to use now. I'm sure most don't know what it even means, nor where it came from.

>>30122703
>“Other than obviously inedible things, like anything poisonous to a lethal level, that’s really it,” you say with a nod. “If I missed anything, I’m sure I’ll be able to point it out upon seeing it, but I’m fairly sure that’s everything.”
Another unnecessary green line.

>>30124111
Kek commands NOF to write a book

>>30126630
That reminds me, with today's (US release) ep, I think that the head-cannon that potatoes are poisonous to ponies have been destroyed. The reason is that RD's mom said that RD's favorite thing to eat was a pasta and potato salad sandwich.

>>30126564
it has many usages:
its a sexual fetish where one person is sexually aroused by having a partner have sex with someone else,
or its a male raising someone else's kids,
or its being rebuffed sexually,
its an internet pejorative, referencing the other useages

luna got cucked, without premeditation, in that story, by celestia

this guy
>>30123478
used it fine

this guy
>>30124440
was baiting

this guy
>>30126564
fell for it

>>30122715
>“I think I’ve going to sit down for a second...”
I'm*
>>30122742
>What are just standing around for?
missed a we*
>>30122753
>until half if it is gone.
of* not it.
>>30122771
Neat.
>>30122839
Just checking things over. Its fine now.

>>30124262
If any of what you said was the case, then why are you here in one of the most active boards on the thread? We wont join AiE, we do filter fetish shit correctly by the fact we are still here and going strong, and no amount of bitching will change you being wrong. AiE is full of retarded autists(including (you) that tried to do too much at once) then when that failed from you idiots incompetent self policing of stupid(or lack of ability to not take bait) it died. Discord chat being used as an alternative to the thread among other issues is what killed it. So get out or shut up and enjoy our version of horsewords and keep your opinions on the matter to yourself. AiE lets in cancer, we didn't, for the most part at least.

>>30127547
flip threads and board. messed that up.

>>30126660
Huh, neat. Though I have no fucking idea my comment reminded you of that, but I did learn a thing. So that's nice.

>>30123290
As it's described here it's false.
Humans are extremely resilient to heat through capability to breathe through our mouth, massive sweating capability, our upright stance minimizing exposure to the sun and the high efficiency of bipedal locomotion at low speeds.
Essentially persistence hunting is a method of comparing heat management between the hunter and prey.

>>30127547
True
>Going strong.
Yea, okay...
>lack of ability to not take bait
Literally no different than here
>AiE lets in cancer, we didn't (for the most part at least.
We must be looking at different threads.
Discord is also being pushed here, so are you trying to imply this thread is dying as well?

I'm not even the same dude but your argument is bad.

>>30127668
Cancer is a slow killer, AiE was experiencing blunt force trauma, internal bleeding, and an aneurism at the same time, then a pack of wild dogs attacked and pissed on it. They might be alive by technicality right now, but that's it. They are a glorified vegetable now on life support.

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How'd you guys like Celestia's episode?

Man it was so FUCKING GOOD.

>>30127726
And this place isn't, with less than 300 posts, most of them shitposts and is-too-is-not bullshit, in more than three days?

The fandom is dying if not dead. This whole board's on life support and I wouldn't be surprised if gookmoot pulled the plug and told us to merge back into /co/.

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>when you know you're best princess

>>30127784
still waiting on that Daybreaker porn

>>30124410
>It's magic, don't think too hard about it.
good sir, have you forgotten where you are?

this is 4chan. we get autistic about everything. we overthink everything. it's what we do.

>>30128053
Art is already starting to pour in. A surprising amount of the ballerina pones.

https://derpibooru.org/1441443

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How would you handle this situation?

>>30128369
I will yell rape.
NO MARE should be able to do what she wants with any colt.
Down with matriachy.
Stallions to POWER.
#STALLIONIST
#JUSTSTALLIONS
#PRINCESSTWILIGHTISARAPISTANDISKEEPINGANONYMOUSTHEHUMANASASEXUALSLAVE

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>>30128464
>#PRINCESSTWILIGHTISARAPISTANDISKEEPINGANONYMOUSTHEHUMANASASEXUALSLAVE