>implying you could ever compete with a stallion

>Implying all mares don't secretly crave the BMC

>>29913461
>Implying I would mind her dating other stallions

I have fingers. Can do things stallions can't.

>>29913461
Hey, we can dream.
Anyone notice how is2.4chan.org is suffering the same slow load times that the old one did?

>>29913475
Literally can't load a picture here

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>>29913461

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>>29913467

>>29913475
I thought it was just my computer for a second.

>>29913501
I've been noticing it for the past couple days. I have a Q9550 and 100/10 internet, so I don't think it's just on our ends.

>>29913461
Nice projection

>>29913461
I want to make mares into race traitors that can only get off from HMD

>>29913461
I've been fucking their assholes and they don't seem to mind. Turned every stallion gay for human cock.

>>29913461
>>implying a mare could ever satisfy me before losing consciousness from multiple orgasms

>>29913475
no

>>29913563
tell us more anon

>>29913461
>implying I don't want to jerk off in a corner while watching

>>29913629
Stallions love my smooth skin and short hair. They love the feeling of my soft smooth body on top of their strong horsey back as I ram myself into their tight hole. They especially like it when I reach my arms under them rubbing the barrel of their belly getting the spots they can't reach while jerking them off with my other hand. They especially like it when I bite their neck with my teeth just enough so that it's very pleasurable and it makes their neck down to their shoulders tingle. I lay my head down between their shoulders and listen to the vibrations as they moan my name. They tell me all the time they love the hot feeling of my load shooting from my cock deep inside them. What I give them is something they can't get from mares. Those excellent dexterous hands rubbing their bodies, that smooth soft body they tell me is better than the soft fur of a mare, the way I take charge and dominate them. They tell me mares don't usually like to take charge and they say they love being the sub for a change. Straight up pony sex is very boring and they don't want to go back to that.

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>>29913475
>Implying I don't make images always load from the faster server
It's not -that- much faster

>>29913503
Hiroshimoot is slowing the image servers down so that he can claim that bandwidth usage is too high and demand more 4chan pass sales while injecting more malicious ads and trackers into the site.

>>29913461
"W-What the fuck twiggle?!"
>"What??"
"What?! Why would you say something like that?!"
>She looks surprised at your reaction
>She finally found a way to crack your shell
>Her apparent surprise soon enough tranforms in a smug, something you rarely see on her face
>"Well, it's simple maths really, using your height and weight as a base to my calculus, the size of your feet and hands and the fact that you're a biped, I can easily deduce that your penis is much too small to please a mare, and your sexual stamina should be close to a minotaur's and other bipeds."
"W-w.. You don't know that! How the fuck could you know that?!"
>You don't really know what to say to that.
>Minotaurs are fucking huge, and you never really saw another pony's dong to compare.
>She might be true
>"Well, like I said, I can simply use your body proportions and the fact that you're a biped to-"

oh fuck it I don't feel like continuing

>>29913784
Teach me your ways.

>>29913890
CONTINUE PLEASE

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>>29913907
4chanX

>>29913890
>oh fuck it I don't feel like continuing
Good call

>>29913890
Yeah, don't.

>>29913890
>Rape

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>>29913949
>>29913963
wow why so rude

>>29913996
What? You said you didn't feel like continuing it and I said that you shouldn't.

>>29914002
i didn't, i'm not the writefag

>>29914015
How is it rude though?

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>>29913890
I'll read if you continue

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>>29914016
dw m8 it's cool

>>29914064
Nah, don't know where I was going from the start.
Felt like writing smug twiggly or smth but it'll just end up in ahegao face and craving for human cock

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>>29914112
>it'll just end up in ahegao face and craving for human cock
sounds great

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>>29913890
>oh fuck it I don't feel like continuing
Oh, good, because you fucking suck

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>Implying my fantasies don't involve me being transformed into my stallion OC.

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>>29914183
>my stallion OC

>>29913481

Same, all it lets me do is see (most) thumbnails.

>>29914255
Eh, you're just jealous of my big, fat and juicy mottled horsecock.
http://i.imgur.com/qEkfPBO.png

>>29914365
desu kill urself senpai

>>29914521
>desu
>senpai
tbph kill yourself family

>>29914365
Its shit.

>>29914552
>being this new

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>>29913461
That's probably true.

Also, I almost certainly smell wrong, assuming that talking pony sexuality requires pheromonal stimulus that only they produce.

I have hands, but so do minotaurs, gryphons, Diamond Dogs, and some dragons, so just having hands and opposable thumbs isn't a novelty there.

Worse, mai waifu is a head of state, and would surely not be able to return my affections, even if she felt anything for me, which is unlikely.

She's mai waifu anyway, even if I can only dream of using my tongue and hands to please her, even if it's unlikely she'd let me try in the first place.

>tfw your waifu would never love you back, but you love her regardless

>>29915550
>Also, I almost certainly smell wrong, assuming that talking pony sexuality requires pheromonal stimulus that only they produce.

I don't think Equines produce Pheromones.So you'll be alright

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>implying a stallion could ever compete with me

https://pastebin.com/GP4RTMNF

Checkmate, Spackle

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On one hand: huge, girthy horsecock with fat balls for cumming big loads.
On the other hand: opposable thumbs
Too bad there's no way to have bo-

>>29913890
>>29913949
>>29913963
>>29913996
>>29914002
>>29914015
>>29914016
>>29914145
This writefag did nothing wrong

do you faggots not even factor in the emotional part of a relationship?
human men already fuck real mares, with their huge vaginas that take foot long stallion dicks, and get them to cum because of the close relationship they have.

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>>29913461

"Twiggles, you really think saying something like that will get me to dick you?"
>You look down at her.
>She looks smugly up at you.
>You can see the smug crack...
>You reach down and adjust your dormant Expansion Pak.
>"Aaanon, please! I need i- the fields of science need it!"
"Sparklebutt, only the most skilled of snake charmers can coax out this trouser snake, and I'm afraid you wouldn't even manage the simplest of tunes on the old skinflute."
>"Gah, confound it Anonymous, is that a yes or a no?"
"Does a bear shit in the woods?"
>She beams!
>"Alright! You'll see, Anon, I'll show you that scientific study can also be quite "fun"~"
>Did she try to be sultry?
"Twilight, come on, we both know that the answer to my question cannot be summarized with a simple yes, because that would imply that everything beyond what we can perceive to be real - i.e: what we can actually experience with our senses right now - actually exists."
>"Uhm..."
"You see, if a bear shits in the woods but there is no one there to witness it then it never happened, I'd go further and propose that, infact, there is no bear in those woods to lay a brick, for I cannot see it. Then the answer to "does a bear shit in the woods?" is a resounding "no" because my perceivable reality dictates that bears don't even exist."
>You finish this mental diarrhea you pulled out of your ass with the biggest shit eating grin you can muster.
>Twilight takes in the retardation.
>"But wait, by that logic, everything outside this conversation and this room doesn't ex- Darn it Anon, can't you see I'm trying to rut an alien here!"
"Congrats then, you did it!"
>"Wha?"
"There are infinite realities just like this one, so it's a certainty that right now, in a bunch of them we are doing the horizontal tango. Good job, was it good for you too?"
>"Anon, you rat!"
"Now that that's out of the way, if you come to witness me, I'll show you if a human shits in the woods. Spoiler alert, the answer is yes."

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>>29916722
Does this anon wear a hat which he could tip?

>>29916722
>I'll show you if a human shits in the woods. Spoiler alert, the answer is yes
Holy fucking kek

>>29913461
Best mare pack shows otherwise

>>29913688
I'm unironically erect.

Going to go look at pics of Shining Armor now

>>29913688
unf

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>>29913688
>They tell me all the time they love the hot feeling of my load shooting from my cock deep inside them.
>They tell me mares don't usually like to take charge and they say they love being the sub for a change.

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>>29913488
>not posting the ultimate version

>>29913688
I want a story about Anon turning all the stallions into submissive fuckboys.

>>29918205
>The Misadventures of Anon and his Hypnotic Cock
>When he sticks it in your backside, you become his willing slave! Can anypony stop this dastardly villain?

>>29918221
>Anon twirls his comically long and thin mustache
>THE STALLION PONUTS BELONG TO ME!
>[maniacal laughter intensifies]

>>29913466
Big meaty claws?

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>>29914183
>my stallion OC

>>29913461
Humans have hands.
Hands can be fists.

>>29915594
Citation needed

>>29916722
Underrated post

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>>29918296
>>29913469
You think some silly playing around with your hands could ever be enough? Mares need real sex, they have to feel it with a powerful stallion and receive his semen. Even if you could somehow pleasure her, you would need to work at it. For real stallions it's effortless, and deep inside she would always know that you're pathetic and inadequate.

>>29917160
>Implying you need to be a fedora tipper to ironically spout pseudo intellectual nonsense to fuck with people.

And you're like a dead fish compared to your mother but you don't see me complaining.

>>29916722
Fucking kek nigga

>>29914588
My girlfriend thinks otherwise.
http://i.imgur.com/KcnaWZu.png

>>29918497
this is still autistic even if you're doing it ironically

>>29918497
This has gone too far anon, this must be stopped.
Your meddling and autistic behavior is only adding further barriers to this thread. please leave this thread, be safe anon.

>>29918555
Unironically calling someone else autistic here is kinda silly anon.
let him be autistic if he wants to.

>>29918581
Why are you approving of his autistic behavior of posting his pony oc to flood the thread.

>>29918591
This is 4chan anon.
Either you learn to accept autists, or you don't come here.
Asking him to stop won't really help anyone, and he doesn't stop you from posting in said thread.
He's not adding anything to the discussion, just like any shitposter.

>>29918417
Who said I was using the hands on mares? I shove my hand up a stallion's ass, he'll have no idea how to retaliate. Unless they're regularly shoving their own hooves up their asshoes, in which case they'll get off to it like the degenerate they are.

>>29917979
This gorgeous autism brings a tear to my eye.

Stallions love the human cock. Male humans are erotic and exotic to them.

>>29918417
>>29918671
not the same anon

>>29918712
>>29918671
fucking mentally ill faggots
>>>/lgbt/

>>29918817
Your tears are salty and delicious.

>>29918822
my cum will be salty and delicious when i jizz down your throat, fucking faggot

>>29919337
gay

>>29919337
>Putting your dick in the gay man's mouth. That'll teach him.

>>29919337
Fag

>>29919337
Homo

>>29919337
Queer

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>>29913688
F-fuck.

>Implying rape

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>>29913461
>Implying you have ever gotten laid

>>29919915
>implying you have
if you have then you need to leave, go to facebook or reddit

>>29919337
You're gay.

>>29913461
Twilight, everyone knows you are a virgin.

>>29913461
Being an African American man with the fabled BBC I disagree. I'd knock yo azz up. Then leave.

>>29913890
>Anon and Twilight start fighting over this petty bullshit.
>She convinces him to show her how long he can last.
>Makes him drop his pants and masturbate right then.
>She expects him to shoot right away.
>Is mildly surprised when he surpasses all of her expectations.
>Is slightly aroused when he surpasses the average amount of time for a stallion.
>Anon doesn't realize this, as it's only been a minute.

>Thirty minutes later
>She can't believe he's still going.
>N-not that she wants him to do that to her instead of his hand or anything...
Baka.

Humans are actually pretty big for our general body size, and we're all about stamina.

>>29920466
Anything we can do, a pastel-coloured talking miniature horse can do better. Humans are objectively the worst species on earth in terms of design, functionality, initial intelligence, etc.

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>>29920477
>in terms of design, functionality, initial intelligence

Yeah every other creature on this planet is so much better than us. Look at this shitty thing we did. It's so inferior to trees and holes.

This is the kind of shit that drove people to create "humanity fuck yeah."

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>>29920493
>It's so inferior to trees and holes.
correct, can't wait for pic related

>>29920477
>Humans are objectively the worst species on earth in terms of design, functionality, initial intelligence, etc.

This is terrible bait, practice.

>>29920493
Well, at birth, we are the dumbest species on earth. We have to learn everything, whereas other species have everything they will ever know built right in from the get-go.
Humans have a lower core temperature than most other mammals, making us more susceptible to diseases.
Humans are the only species to produce emotional tears.
Humans must be enticed to have sex by making it pleasurable. Other species do it because that's what they're born to do, and it's often painful for them.
Humans destroyed this world and are half-heartedly trying to repair it, never to succeed.

I could go on for several years, but I think you get the idea how bad we really are, intrinsically and extrinsically.

I want to make a harem of stallion subs and make the mares jealous.

>>29920516
It's because humans weren't made to survive and adapt to nature, but rather the other way around, for example, we are more susceptible to disease, but also can find ways to combat them.
And even then we have certain natural advantages over other animals, like highter shock resistance and very developed digits

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>>29920516
Sure thing kid, why don't you kill yourself then, you'd be doing us all a favour by your logic.

>>29920466
Yeah, that's the kind of shit I was wanting to do, didn't think of the masturbation session tho. Good idea.
And I was going for 'minotaurs and EQ apes/other bipeds have small dick and nearly no stamina because humans are more into sex than other species' shit.
Or rather, I am going for that.


>>29913890
"No!"
>She blinks when you interrupt her.
>But then you don't really know what to add.
>"No?"
"No, that's not true, I-I'm sure I could please a mare! Heck, I already pleased a dozen mare from all around ponyville!"
>She raises an eyebrow at that, obviously not believing your shit.
>"Who?"
>Oh shit, you didn't think of that
"Uh, I uh, can't say their names. It's a secret. Pinkie promise."
>You give yourself an imaginary pat on the back.
>She doesn't say anything. She just stays there, her expression unchanging.
>You try to escape her stare, your eyes going left and right, trying to find a way out.
>Eventually, she gives up and sigh heavily.
>"Listen anon, I didn't expect you to be so.. sensible about this subject, and I assure you that there's nothing wrong with having a smaller than average pe-"
"My dick is totally above average!"
>You blurt that out without really thinking, again.
>But it was obviously part of her plan, if her shit eating grin means anything.
>"Show me."
>It's your turn to blink.
"What."
>"Just show it to me. That's the easiest way to prove it, and it'll let me record data about your species' reproductive organs."
>You knew booksmart was a dork and all about taking notes, but this is surprising, to say the least.
"Y-You just want to see my junk! No way I'm doing th-"
>"Chicken."
>Your eyes go wide in a mix of surprise and ire.
"Oh no you didn't-"
>"CHICKEN!"

>>29920612
inb4 can't really say she's measured and recorded it without checking the texture and taste

>>29913461
>Twilight keeps her smug for a few seconds but eventually breaks
>"Anon, i don't think i can do this after all. This is so rude...You're not even small"
"What's with this...small penis humiliation anyway? You humans have such weird fetishes..."

>>29920493
name 1 (one) thing that humanity did right

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>>29920612
"Okay you won, it is so fucking on!"
>The adrenaline takes control of your brain for a moment, enough for you to instantly drop your pant and boxers down your knees.
>You don't have the time to regret it, she instantly looks down and stare at your three pieces.
>Her eyes go wide for half a second, in surprise, and she lifts one of her front hooves to her lips.
>"P-PPFFTTTT! Hahahaah!"
>You gulp, paralyzed by her reaction.
>She's laughing at your dick!
>"I-Is that it?! ouhhhh, hah, I'm so sorry anon, I didn't expect it to be this-"
"I'm not even hard what the fuck purplebutt?!"
>"Hhaha-haaaa, hard? What difference would it make?? Your shaft is obviously already out of its sheath."
"Humans don't have sheaths."
>This comes out as a grunt more than anything.
>Her eyes find your embarrassed face before coming back down again to stare at your junk once again.
>"Uh. You're right, you don't seem to have any, nor any kind of retractor muscles.."
>She pushes her head forward as she says that, tilting it slightly to the side quizzically.
>Before her horn lights up and you feel her magic envelop your dick and balls.
>Your hands shoot towards it, instantly covering it in fear of whatever she intended to do.
"The fuck do you think you're doing?!"
>"Wha-Oh, please, anon, I have a doctorate in biology, xenobiology and anatomical analysis, I believe I am more than qualified at handling your-"
>This fucking pony.
"Maybe you could ask first?!"
>She blinks, obviously understanding whatever the fuck she did wrong.
>"Oh, you're right, I kind of got ahead of myself hehe, I'm sorry anon."
>She follows that by giving you those pouty eyes. The ones she uses when she really wants something from you.
>"Anon, can I please have access to your reproductive organs and use magic to register datas on it?"
>You groan.

>>29920516
when you compare humans to viruses, you get a surprising lot of similarities

>>29920477
>>29920507
>>29920810
I hope it's bait, in which case I'm sad that people even responded to you in the first place.
If not, follow your fucking advices and off yourself.
We're superpredators, here's something no other fucking animals ever done, on earth.
If any other specie was superior than us, we wouldn't be here shitposting, you mongoloid, that's as simple as that.
We were prey and BECAME superpredators, that's how much better we are.
We're above any other apex you could find, we have better stamina, are just as 'strong' and are much, much, much smarter than any other animal living on this rock.

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>>29913488

You are doing Gods work Anon

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>>29920853

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this is still the smartest meme this shithole called internet ever spewed and it's relevant to discussion here

>>29920814
Continue plz

Too many cucks. Yeah, so what if art of your waifu having romantic sex with someone her own size looks much more cute or happy than something you could imagine with you and her? So what if the pony that shipcucks like to pair her with could potentially be a good husband to her and father to her healthy pony foals? You're supposed to not think about it and think that she's just so pure and loves you soo much that you're the only one who could please her, because of her heart.

>>29920612
>Chicken
Chiiiip chip chip chip chiiip oh hai anon

>>29913461

Engineers do it with precision.

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>>29920814
>You can't say no now.
>You shouldn't have taken the bait in the first place, but if you stop now, she'll just believe that your dick is.. b-below average.
>Awkwardly, you let go of your jewels and let your hands hang on your sides, giving her and her eyes complete access, once again.
>She gives a light gasp, gleefully smiling at you.
>"Thank you Anon, I swear I will be as professional as I can be."
>Her horn flashes once again, and a notepad followed by a walkman just pops out of nowhere.
>"I will now be recording and writing everything down, if you're okay with it..?"
"W-Whatever. Just get on with it."
>"My name is Twilight Sparkle, certified expert on xenobiology and I will now be recording informations about the human reproductive organs, using the only known member of said specie as test subject, with his explicit perm-"
"Could you not make it any weirder?"
>"Well, no, I have to do this, it's part of the modus operandi."
>You grunt once more.
>"I will now be asking him, you, Anonymous, questions."
>"So, on close examination, I can affirm that human males don't have any penile sheath, can you confirm that Anon?"
"N-No."
>It really couldn't get any weirder.
>And the cold air is starting to make your jewels shrink, not helping your noble cause.
>"That doesn't seem convenient, isn't it dangerous to have it exposed all the time?"
"That's why we wear clothes."
>She writes everything down, the only noises in the room coming from her pen scratching on the paper.
>Her gaze switches from the notepad to your dick, once, twice, the pen never stopping.
>She's drawing your everything.

>>29921350
>If you were in a cartoon, you'd be tomato red by now.
>And then, she leans forward once more, her muzzle stopping a couple inches in front of your crotch.
>To take a huge sniff.
"OOKAY, could you not do THAT?!"
>She rolls her eyes at your response.
>"Oh come on Anon, this is just part of the procedure."
>You're really starting to question her methods. Or even if she really has doctorates in.. Whatever the hell she said she had ones.
>"Subject's smell resembles a stallion's, if a bit more spicy, and the smell of sweat is much stronger, surely due to him always wearing clothes, and more precisely the ones he call 'boxers'."
>She lifts her head, her eyes finding yours. She doesn't seem embarrassed, or she's really good at hiding it.
>"And you said that, erection actually make your penis bigger, right?"
>You nod.
>"How much?"
"I-I don't know. Several times bigger?"
>Her eyebrows rise in surprise.
>"Several times?"
>You nod, again.
>"Length or girth?"
"Both."
>Her eyes drop down to your junk, her brain obviously trying to imagine what you just told her.
>A slight blush appearing on her cheeks.
>You gulp and your dick gives a twitch, reacting to her cute response.
>"C-Could you, ahem, show me?"

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>>29913461
Twilight looks smug as fuck.

>>29921358
I like where this is going...

I want to force Twilight to suck my cum out of every stallion butthole.

>>29920768
I actually like this idea.

>>29921358
I want this to continue.

>>29921358
Your green is pure gold.

>>29921358
You have to keep going. You have no choice.

>>29921358
If you continue this he has to get erect in the same way Goku goes super saiyan.

Lot's of screaming.

>>29921636
And takes many posts before it completes

>all these misanthropefags

Disgusting

>>29921358
>"F-For academic purposes, of course."
"Academic purposes?"
>Your turn to raise a brow at her.
>She nods, not professionally enough for your taste.
>Purplebutt, Twilight Sparkle, the princess of friendship, is asking you to show her your erected cock.
>You never expected something like this when you woke up.
>Then again, you can never expect what's going to happen here, fucking ponies are insane.
>Might as well go with it.
>Your pride-no, the whole human race's pride is now on your shoulders. Today will decide how human cocks will be remembered in ponyland.
>And m-maybe you could even..
>Twilight is still staring at you. Her huge eyes still waiting for any form of response.
>You nod, one last time, letting her let out a sigh of relief. Surprising you both.
>You both stay silent for an awkwardly long moment. Not really knowing how to go about it.
"Uh.. H-How should I.."
>"Oh-h, uh, yeah, sure, j-just do.. whatever you normally do to.. achieve arousal."
>Guess it's now or never.
>So you just get to it. Your right hand finds your shaft and you slowly starts jerking off.
>She plops down, sitting a couple feet in front of you, intently staring at your cock. She stopped writing or drawing on her notepad, your actions are the only thing she's focusing on now.
>She even drops her pen when you peel your skin back, exposing your head. Giving a quick embarrassed giggle when she picks it back up, mouthing an inaudible sorry before motioning for you to continue.
>You keep going for a couple minutes. Slowly at first, then trying to up the pace a bit, but you can't seem to get harder than this half-chub.
>She frowns more and more, before giving your face quick looks, wordlessly asking you why it takes so long.
>fuckfuckfuck
"F-fuck, this is so fucking awkward. I-I swear it never happened before! It's cold an-and like, super weird.."
>"Uh.. Well.. Should I.. Would it be easier if I, if I provided some, Hum, stimuli?"

>>29921930
>Your eyes go wide and hers leave yours for a second, embarrassed over her own suggestion, then come back, her cheeks red and expression hopeful.
>Then her lips catch your attention.
>The thought itself already helping your work on your half mast.
"You mean.. w-with your mouth..?"
>"W-WHAT?! No! I-I meant with magic or-"
>She stops herself when she sees the disappointment on your face.
>"Or.. I guess I c-could use my mouth, if you want it. I could use some data on.. taste.."
>She gulps when she sees you give your junk a harder stroke.
>"Would you prefer it if I used my m-my mouth?"
"YES"
>"We-Well then.."
>Her horn glows once again and you turn to your right when you hear the door slam shut, then the lock on it.
>"I guess I've got no other choice.."
>Your heart is beating like crazy.
>That's it. She's going to suck you dick.
>You're getting your dick sucked by a pony, by a fucking Princess.
>Dad would be proud. Maybe.
>She places her notepad and walkman down on the ground and then slowly lean forward, getting back to her earlier position, right in front of your half chub, you stopped jerking off when she started moving. She's so close, so, so, so close.
>You can hear her inhaling your scent and feel her warm breath on your tip.
>You're having a hard time stopping your hips from moving forward.
>It would be funny, but you just can't risk THIS.
>So you just wait. You simply look at her, her face slowly tilting and slightly moving left and right, taking in the sight of your pride.
>To be honest you wouldn't need anything more than this, you can already feel yourself hardening to full mast. But what kind of faggot would be honest in this kind of situation.

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>>29921934
>A stronger exhale washes over your balls, and you let out a grunt.
>She looks up at you, scared of having messed up somewhere.
>You just point at it, all but begging for her to do something.
>"O-Oh, yes, sorry, I'll-uh, provide you with fe-fellatio right away."
"Please.."
>That was a moan more than a real request.
>A totally not effeminate moan.


Welp, that's it for now, can't do much more than that right now.
I'll keep it on pastebin and try to finish it asap.

>>29921961
Fuck, right when it was getting good

>>29921961
YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME

>>29922488

Ugh, meant for >>29920136

>>29913461
I can compete with geldings tho.

>>29921961
>Then, finally, you feel her lips make contact with your head. Your heart skips a beat and your hand still on your junk clamps harder, as if instinctively trying to stop you from blowing your load.
>N-Not that you're a premature faggot or anything.
>But the lack of internet, or even pornography as a whole, and the fact that ponies like Ponk can just pop up at any time, made it hard to get any 'you' time.
>She retreats, slowly, the warmth of her lips leaving your skin for a couple seconds before coming back, this time with more force, just enough for them to take in half of your head.
>She closes her eyes and sighs, quietly, contently.
>And she retreats, once again, this time leaving the end of your helmet moist with her saliva. Leaving it throbbing, victim to the fresh air, wanting, needing more.
>She opens her eyes and spreads her lips, leans forward and finally takes the whole of your head in.
>Your heart skips another beat. You even forget the breathe for a moment.
>You don't remember ever feeling so alive.
>You gasp when you feel her warm, wet tongue on the underside of your tip.
>Hearing it, she instantly looks up, locking your gazes on each others'. Her wet appendage unmoving, slightly pushing against your sensitive skin, sharing her warmth with yours.
>You let go of your shaft and reach out with your hand.
>She doesn't move. She doesn't even look at it. She trusts you, she knows you wouldn't do anything to harm her. And you don't.
>You simply cup her cheek, your thumb rubbing up and down against her fur.
>She leans into your touch, trying to get more, all the while giving your dick some much needed action.
>She takes another inch in, giving a sigh while you give a moan.
>You leave your hand there, your thumb rubbing up and down from time to time, while you feel her tongue lapping at your dick more and more, up, down, sometime focusing on the head, then going down the shaft.
>This is driving you nuts.

>>29923293
>You never expected Twiggly to be this... Good at it.
>To be this kind of lover.
>Or to be a lover, at all.
>You can't think right now. You shouldn't. Whatever you're thinking right now, it's simply your hormones fucking with your brain.
>But you can't get it out of your head.
>How beautiful she is. How much more beautiful she is now that she's taking you in her mouth. Now that she's affectionately, tenderly, lovingly tending to your pride.
>You always thought that ponies were cute, but you never saw any of them the way you're seeing Twilight right now.
>She takes another inch in.
>You let another gasp escape your throat.
>Her eyes don't leave yours.
>Yours can't leave hers.
"You're beautiful."
>This takes her by surprise. Her tongue stops moving and you can feel her own heart skipping a beat.
>You feel so light now that you've said it.
>Maybe you'll regret saying it later. But that's a problem for later 'you'.
>She looks down, finally breaking eye contact.
>You fucked up. You must've fucked u-
>"R-Really?"
>He voice is low, trembling, hitching in between hard breath.
>"You're not just saying that because I-I'm giving you fellatio.. right?"
>Then they come back. Her two beautiful eyes.
>That's enough. You can't take it anymore.

>>29923299
>You drop to your knees, your other hand cupping her unattended cheek, lean forward and kiss her.
>Her eyes go wide in fear, surprise and then closes down, a content, happy sigh escaping her mouth when she decides to respond to your kiss, pushing forward and lifting her right hoof to your hand.
>You let go of her a moment later, a trail of saliva drooping and then finally breaking with the distance between your lips.
"My room, or yours."
>It takes her a couple seconds to get what you mean. A stronger blush than ever before appearing on her face.
>"Uhm.. yours. I-I kinda like the smell of your bed.."
>Those last words are barely audible, whether it's because of your heart thumping in your ears or if she wasn't sure she wanted you to hear them, you'll never know.
>But you don't give a fuck about this right now. You've got a mare to please.
>So you stand up, finish removing your pants, don't want those to get in the way, and pick her up, not unlike the way you picked Ponk a million times already. Just hugging her a bit closer. And her hugging you back closer too. And rush towards your room.
>You don't even care if anypony, or spike, see you with your throbbing, wet dick flailing around.
>And luckily, you got there without incident.
>You slam the door shut using your feet and steps in front of your messy bed.
>Here we go.

>>29923305
Whew, I swear I didn't expect it to take this long, but I just can't not go the lovey dovey route.
Sorry
I'm just too autistic for that, also Twiggly is best pone and deserves it.
if it's too cheesy for you, well, fuck you
It's fucking 6AM here, so I'll finish it tomorrow.

Here's the pastebin.
https://pastebin.com/9hJCEjPJ

>>29913488

>average 20 minutes of a human

you mean average 17 minutes of women and average 3 minutes of a man

>>29923333
You're doing god's work, Anon.
Also, nice quads

>>29913461
>>29918417
>ponyntr
I find this hot and respectfully ask where I may find more of this sort of thing.

>>29913488
This is even hotter. Ponies confirmed compact in addition to delightful.

>>29923333
Wuhuu! Lovey Dovey!

>>29923339
Kek

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>>29923333
>I just can't not go the lovey dovey route
I'm pleased to hear that
And you better finish it

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>>29923305
>You lean forward and place her down on her back.
>She doesn't instantly let go of you, her small hooves tugging at your shirt when you slowly retreat back up.
>She's breathing hard. She's nearly panting. You can /see/ how hot she feels and you can feel how warm she is. Quick gasps and quiet moans escapes her lips when your hands starts roaming up and down her torso.
>She wants more. She doesn't have to use words, her eyes are begging for more.
>So you don't waste time. You lean forward once more, your lips finding hers.
>Your hands don't stop their assault either.
>Your fingers sends a shiver down her back when you find a weak spot, somewhere along her neck.
>"Nnhh~"
>Her hooves tug and pull at your fabric, trying to draw you in even closer.
>You push up once again and she opens her eyes in surprise, missing the contact of your skin.
>"W-Wha-"
>You don't wait for her to worry.
>You kiss her cheek, then her jaw and then you plunge for her neck.
>She gasps in surprise, in fear even, her instincts telling her to push you away, a predator, from her vital point, her hooves weakly pawing at your torso. But she stops when your mouth finally makes contact.
>You kiss it once, twice, your tongue joining your lips on your third strike. And you keep going, trying to leave wet marks on every patch of fur you have access to. Her right hoof find a way behind your head, now once more pulling you in, trying to coax more affection from you.
>"Ahhhnon.. please.."
>That came out as a moan more than anything.
"What?"
>You don't stop your ministrations tho.
>This is driving her wild. You can feel it, you can hear it, you can even smell it.
>"Ah-Anon, stohp pleas-ah~"

>>29925445
>Why would you even want to stop?
"Why?"
>Your head drops south again, your mouth now targeting her shoulders, then her torso.
>The pressure of her hooves are getting stronger and stronger, trying to push you back, then losing strength when your hands or lips finds another good spot.
>"J-Jus'stop for a-second, pleaseeee~"
>You don't. She obviously wants it as much as you do.
>And if you learnt anything from those chinese comics you read back then, is that no means yes.
>Your right hand finds its way behind her frame and she seizes up when it rubs a particular spot, right between her wings.
>"Annnhhhh~"
>All her muscles clenches at once, her front hooves pressing, tugging and pulling at whatever was without her grasp and rear hooves clamping around your sides.
>You pull up in surprise.
>Did you fuck it up?
>Then the sight hits you. She's sweating, her frame heaving back and forth in sync with her slow, heavy breaths.
>She's biting her lower lip and lifts a hoof towards her face. Her closed eyes not giving you the informations you're looking for, this time.
>In your retreat, the tip of your still throbbing cock bumps into her.
>"Ngh~"
>It's hot, and wet. Really hot, and really, really wet.
>Did she just-
>Her horn flashes purple and a moment later, you find yourself paralyzed.
>You can't move any muscle, save for your eyes.
>"Ahhh.. I-I told you to stop!"
>She's mad, but her trembling voice, her blush and the way her eyes are fidgeting around in embarrassment are just too much.
"Sowwy."
>You're not. And she knows you're not.
>"You always do that! You just do whatever you want and don't consider my feelings!"
"Sho yhou didn liek it?"
>"Wha- wait a second."

>>29925456
>The glow surrounding her horn moves around and you find yourself in control of your maw once more.
"I said, so, you didn't like it?"
>It came out as hopeful. You know she did, but a part of you is still afraid.
>"I did.. Maybe a bit too much.."
>More mumbling.
"So, there's no problem then?"
>"N-No, but-"
"No butts, I loved it, you OBVIOUSLY loved it, everyone's happy!"
>"But you can't just-"
"Transform you in a quivering mess? Force you to moan out my name? Make you come without even using my di-"
>She levitates your pillow in front of her face, using it as cover to hide from your sight.
>"D-don't say it like that.."
>Her movements brings her flower to the tip of your dick once more, this time pushing the underside of her exposed pearl on it.
>It sends another shiver down her spine, followed by a quiet squeal muffled by the pillow.
>You'd be throbbing more than ever, if you could.
"How about you remove this spell and we finish what we started, uh?"
>"You've got to-"
"I can't hear you~"
>You can, but you really want to see her face begging for it.
>She grunt, before pulling the makeshift bunker away.
>"Y-You.."
>She's having a hard time looking at you.
>She's just so cute.
>"You've got to promise me to stop next time I tell you to. Okay?"
"I can't promise something like that if you keep acting this cute."
>Her muzzle scrunches up, and a second later, she lets go of the spell.
>You fall down against her, her 4 hooves spreading around your frame and hugging you as soon as you're in reach.

File: 1317037__safe_artist-colon-captainpudgemuffin_twilight+sparkle_blushing_captainpudgemuffin+is+trying+to+murder+us_chest+fluff_cute_disembodied+hand_ear.png (1MB, 1800x2400px) Image search: [Google]

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>>29925475
Last part coming right up, sex in the missionary etcetc
Maybe more.

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>>29923396
>>29924302
>>29925013
I'll do my best.
I'm still not 100% sure how I'll finish it, but hey.
Maybe I'll go the impregnation route since I'm in the mood.
It'll give me more reasons to write about kids and shit too.
thanks for the (you)'s

>>29925475
>>29925560
I like it, I'm not the only one, just write like you feel it.

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>>29925489
This can only end in one way

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>>29925489
>>29925560
FUCK
THE
NERD

>>29913466
Big Mare Cock?
Futafags pls go.

>>29913488
>5'10
>average
when will they learn?

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>>29918273
What did you say, punk?

>>29925859
>implying anyone here wouldn't happily spend the next decade making half-man, half-horse, half-bird abomination babbies with Purplesmart
>implying we wouldn't love all our monster babbies equally, satyrs, centaurs, reverse satyrs, and reverse centaurs alike

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>>29926580
>reverse satyrs, and reverse centaurs
no

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>>29926465
BIG. MEATY. CLAWS.

File: 7777.png (382KB, 512x384px) Image search: [Google]

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>>29926685
Well, these claws ain't for just attractin' mates!

>>29913461

I could

>>29926870

lies

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>gorillas have small dicks because their reproduction is based on access to mates rather than appealing to mates
>human society is based on money and dick size
>pony society is based on the fact that there are overwhelmingly more mares than stallions

Honestly, if you're enough of a midget or a burn victim that you would even need to COMPETE as a malein pony society, you can't compete with anything at all.

Retarded premise, retarded OP. Somebody /thread me

>>29927230
>pony society is based on the fact that there are overwhelmingly more mares than stallions
nice headcanon autist

>>29925475
>"Just stop teasing me so much.."
"Who, me? Why I'd never-"
>A hoof shuts you up.
>"I need it Anon. I need this, please."
>Her whispering voice makes your dick give another hearty throb.
>Maybe you should stop that, for now.
>You nod, she sighs.
>You lower your hand, pushing it closer and closer to her flower.
>A breath hitches in her throat and another moan leaves her when you reach your target.
>You kiss her, her moan resonating inside your own mouth when your tongue forces her lips open.
>You slide your fingers up and down her slit, slowly, trying to find your marks on these newfound lands.
>All the while keeping your eyes on hers.
>Then you feel something. It's pulsating, you can feel it push against your palm, then retreat back in her depths.
>You know what it is, you're not stupid.
>But you have no idea how to handle it, so you start slowly and softly, as if you were handling a newborn.
>You break the kiss before doing so, watching her face while you play around with her love button, push it up, down, press it between your thumb and index.
>Every actions you make gets one in return, she pushes her hips down, up, her hooves clamping down on your frame using more or less strength.
>"Ah-non, no-o, jus-ah!"
>A stronger convulsion, this time followed by another helping of juices.
>She opens her eyes grunting at you.
>Then her horn flashes purple once again.
>"J-Just put it in already!"
>And you feel her magic pushing your ass forward, your dick ending its course pushed against her lips, your helmet nearly in.

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>>29927852
>the show is heacannon

>>29927887
>She's ready, she clearly doesn't need any more preparations, even tho you were more than wanting to go down on her.
>"Just, don't eja-I mean, don't come inside, okay?"
>Uh? Oh well.
>You nod one last time, looking down, grabbing your shaft with your drenched hand, aim, then press forward, slowly.
>You gasp. Both.
>You keep going, slowly, inches after inches getting engulfed by her soft flesh, her walls pressing down and convulsing around your cock more and more as you get deeper and deeper.
>She pushes her hips upward too, trying to give you better access, to give you more of her to fuck.
>Then she gasps, her stare shooting down towards your dick, eyes measuring the inches left, then widening at the length that still isn't inside.
>And you feel your tip push against something stiff, tougher than the soft flesh you felt until there, some kind of fleshy barrier.
>"Wait wait wait! S-Stop, y-you're tooo big!"
>You look down too, following her gaze.
>There's still an inch and a half or so of shaft before you can hilt in.
>Your whole body is screaming at you to keep going, but you just can't risk hurting her.
>So you wait, her insides giving you more than enough attention to complaint.
"Did I hurt you?"
>She looks up at you, then back down.
>"No-no, I'm okay, it's just that you're way too big, I've never.. taken something like that inside."
>If you weren't feeling so needy, you'd be beaming with pride right now.
>But there's fear instead.
>You really shouldn't ask that. No. Don't do it.
"Sh-Should we.. stop?"

>>29927892
nowhere in the show is this even implied
fuck off

>>29927899
>Her eyes open wide in shock, looking up at you before tugging at your shirt to keep you in place with her front hooves.
>"Uh?! No, no nonono, this is great, it's everything I've ever-"
>She stops mid-sentence, a hoof keeping them shut.
>This mare is bad for your health.
>You simply look at her, your heart fluttering anew and thumping in your ears while she's blubbering and doing her best to give an explanation.
>"I-I-I mean, it's, it's great, I-I, so-sorry I didn't mean-"
>You kiss her once more, you don't need her to apologize about anything.
>Just like she said, it's great. Everything is fucking A.
>Just like every other times, she's surprised when your lips find hers, but she soon enough leans in and sighs, her hooves now hugging the sides of your head and keeping you in place, right where she wants you to be.
>But another throb coming from your dick and another shiver running through her back reminds you of the situation you're in.
"S-So, what should I do?"
>"Nnhh~"
>She pushes down with her hips, trying to coax more of you inside of her, but it doesn't work, the entrance of her womb doesn't feel like moving.
>She gasps when she finds her limit, and you push back immediately.
"You're okay??"
>Your left hand finds her side and you place your right one above the general area of her inside walls, trying to rub the hurt away.
>She smiles when she sees your caring hand caressing between her teats.
>"Yes, don't worry, let me just.."
>Then her horn activates once more, a purple aura appearing around your hand and her body.
>You just stare at it, trying to take guesses at what she's doing, the focus obviously not being your hand.
>And then it stops.
>"That should work."
"What was that? What did you do?"
>"I magically augmented the elasticity of my cervix's entrance by enhancing the proto-"
"Wowowow, stop right there bookbutt, use english words."
>She frowns at your nickname, but responds anyway.
>"It means you can push it in now."

>>29927887
>>29927899
YES

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>>29927905

>>29927908
>That's everything you needed to hear.
>So you don't wait, and ram it in.
>It's true, you can get everything in now, but that's not all.
>Her inside barrier became another orifice you can fuck, something even tighter and softer than any flesh before it.
>You both gasp, you in pleasure, her in surprise.
>But then she gives a moan, bigger than any other before.
>"AAaaaaahhnnn~"
>It's driving you wild.
"Holy shit magic is great."
>She opens her mouth, trying to give a reply but you don't give her the time she needs to completely recover and pull back, your dick leaving her cervix and then stopping right before exiting her pussy.
>And then push it back in, in one go.
"Fuckkkkk."
>You do it again, and again.
>You can feel her insides spasming everything your crotch hits hers, and you can feel her pearl winking against your skin when you get close enough.
>She doesn't say anything, or at least, anything that resembles english anyway, She just pants, gasps, squeal and moan, not in any particular order.
>Even tho all this talk let you recover some stamina and that you're nowhere as close as you were before, you can feel that this won't be a world record, she just feels so good.
>And you don't want to disappoint, so you simply stop whenever you get too close.
>You slowdown, get back at it faster and faster, take more time caressing every patch of skin visible.
>Then you lean on her frame once more, kissing here and there.
>Five minutes in or so and she still haven't said anything.
>This is worrying.
"You okay there?"
>She keeps panting for a couple seconds, letting out one last moan before wiping some drool that was hanging on the corner of her mouth with a hoof.
>"Nh.. ah.. Yes, yes, j-just, how come you're still at, at it?!"
>You blink.
"What?"

>>29927923
>"I, ah, I lost count around your 50th thrust, how come you haven't ejaculated yeeeet~"
>Your dick pushed open her cervix before she could finish her sentence.
>That wasn't on purpose, at all. It's funny tho.
"50th thrust? What are you on about?"
>You slow down once more when you pull back, trying to give her enough composure to respond.
>"Sta-stalllionss can only last for, ahh right there~"
>You roll her clit between your fingers once more and get rewarded by another dose of love juice covering your legs and covers.
>"D-Don't do that when I'm trying to te-te-tell you something! Ah.."
"heh, sorry girl, I'll let you finish."
>"Soo, like I said, the average numbers of thrusts, ah, a stallion can manage before e-ejaculation is around t-twelve, h-how come you haven't-"
"Filled you up full of my baby juices?"
>She was already blushing since the moment you were on the bed, but you can see another shade of red take possession of her face.
>She throws a hoof to her left and bring back your pillow, hiding her face underneath it.
>"W-Why do you have to say things like thaaathhnnn~"
>You pinched one of her teat when you saw her getting back down there.
"Because your embarrassed face is the hottest thing I've ever seen in my life."
>Another squeeze down there.
>You won't last much longer, you've been at it for a while.
"Come, ah, come on Twilight, get rid of that, I want to see your eyes when I come inside you."
>Another squeeze, and more juices.

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>>29927931
>"N-No, don't, not inside!"
"Why not? You don't want my human babies?"
>Heh, that is, if it was possible for ponies to get babies with apes. Good thing we're not in a fucking cartoon eh?
>"Wha-yes, no, I mean n-nnhghhh~"
"You'll have to say that to my face if you want me to believe you twiggly wiggly."
>She gives a grunt, barely audible between the pillow and her moans, then lift the pillow up and out of the way.
>She's avoiding your eyes, she's even trying not to face you.
>But you know what to do in these conditions.
>You kiss her.
>You stay like that for another couple minutes. Your lips pressed against hers, her eyes opening and closing in sync with her sighs and moans while you slowly thrust inside and out of her, all the way up, up enough to lift her whole frame up when your hips makes contact.
"So, what do you say? Can I come inside?"
>She bites her lip, looking at you, examining your expression.
>"Y-You.. You'll take re-responsibility, right?"
>Her serious expression comes back with that question.
>The one she always has when asking questions about friendship and other first world pony problems.
>What? What does she mean?
>Like, help cleaning up or smth?
>You'd normally say fuck no to that. You're too lazy for this kind of shit.
>But now, that's a different story.
>You've been hard for more than an hour and been teasing each other the whole fucking time, you're going to fucking explode, and your body is begging you to just let go of everything and come inside.
"Sure."
>Her serious attitude turns to happy, a huge smile forming on her lips and then she leans forwards to kiss you.
>It's your turn to be surprised, and your turn to lean back in.
>And you go full hammertime, you're getting close.
>Twilight is back in blubbering mess mode, but now you're sure that she's having fun, so all is cool.
"Here it comes baby, holy fuckkkkkk"
And then everything goes white.

>>29927950
And that's two fucking days an a night down the drain.
Whew, I'm never writing a fucking green ever again.
That's what I always tell myself, anyway.
I think I kind of fucked up the pacing, going softy feely then trying to comedy etc, tell me what you guys think.
It's kind of hard to write this kind of shit, you need to have the right mood and keep it throughout the whole story.
If I do an epilogue, it'll definitely be linked to my twilyxanon dozen of kids story. (and become it's prologue, then.)
But I don't know if I will anyway, so you can imagine you knocking her up or not, whatever you feel like.

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>>29927986
Fuck, here's the pastebin.
https://pastebin.com/9hJCEjPJ

>>29917979
aw man I really should get back to this. Iron Wills data was sketchy and I meant to do some more reading on mare orgasms and the science of drunk horses.

>>29927986
Trying to shift back to comedy was fine since the story never had a serious tone to begin with.
I'm not a smut expert but it was good.

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>>29927986
>Semi-romantic
>Cervial penetration
>Implied impregnation
>Twilight, the pone everyone loves to talk about, but never write about.
9/10 Twas much higher quality than the average green.

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>>29928123
>Twilight, the pone everyone loves to talk about, but never write about.
delusional

>>29928165
Sorry.
>Twilight, the pone everyone loves to talk about, but never write about in a way that isn't retarded.

>>29928165
>>29928123
Yeah, twilight has an absolute boatload of greens, More recently people don't like to write about her because she's always received the most.

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>>29926760
Bring it on, old man! Bring it on!

>>29927986
i'll read it when i'm not drunk

>>29927986
Oh man, how could you fuck up this much when it started so well?
It was basically a 10/10 green until you went pants-on-head retarded with
>penetrating the cervix
Seriously, you've been reading one too many a bad hentai, boi
Fortunately I could just pretend she used her magic to make the vagina longer instead, but it still bothers me, so I gotta knock some points off for that.

>>29928299
fantasy is fantasy, autism dude

womb penetration is hot

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>>29927986
It was sweet, cute and not too serious, and that's all I need.
After today's episode starting a family with Twilight sounds better than ever before

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>>29913461

>Superior stamina
>More dexterous
>mares are mainly sensitive at the outer parts of the vagina, so length means nothing when it comes to satisfaction
>faster recuperation between sessions
>No painful flares
>We can carry our mares in our arms when they're tired

Just another butthurt stallion shitposting to make up for his painful inadequacy.
Face it pony boy, the monkey dick are what the mares want.
Now go back to the cuck stable where you belong.

>>29913461

Just use your magic to give me a horse dick. Problem solved.

>>29928411
Equestria needs a wall to keep the human rapists out.

>>29927950
>You gulp. You pant. You heave.
>You feel so good, you haven't felt that way since.. The day Trump won the presidency.
>That's it, that's what real life feels like.
>Your heart is still beating hard and fast, it's only starting to slow down.
>So does hers.
>You're both drenched in sweat, saliva and other body fluids.
>And you're sure that the smell of sex can be scent all the way outside, you're both going to have to answer a lot of questions tomorrow.
>Rather, she'll have to answer, you'll just tell them to fuck off and shoo them away like you usually do.
>A hoof rubbing against your sides bring your attention to the small thing still besides you.
"Oh, am I too heavy? Let me-"
>"No!"
>She takes hold of you, using her four hooves to keep you right where you are.
>"Can.. Can we stay like this, for a little longer?"
>And just like that, your heart gives another hard, loud thump.
"Uh, sure. Just let me-"
>Her magic stops your hand before it gets to your shaft, still lodged inside her.
>"No, please, leave, leave it inside, please."
>Ungh
>You're not sure if it's because you're still high from your climax, but you could get used to that.
"Shouldn't we, you know, clean up? I've got to take responsibilities, remember?"
>You half joke, you really don't mind staying there, it's comfy as fuck.
>She frowns a bit, unsure of what you mean.
>"Clean up? Clean what?"
>You blink.
"Well, you know.."
>You point down, trying to get her to understand your, desu obvious as fuck, but twiggly is a dork, meaning.
>"Why would we want to remove your semen from my uterus? Wouldn't that reduce the chances of a spermatozoon fertilizing an egg?"

>>29928465
>You blink. Once, twice.
>Then you open your mouth, but nothing comes out.
"You're, joking, right? You do know that I can't get you pregnant?"
>Her frowns deepens, then she blinks.
>"Why couldn't you?"
"Twiggly, if there was one pony I thought I wouldn't need to explain this, that'd be you. Or Dash, since she wouldn't understand anyway."
"We're not the same specie, purplebutt, I'm an ape, and you're a small horse, that can't work."
>"And how did you think minotaurs and griffins were made?"
>You blink. Again. Again. Furiously so.
>WHAT THE FUCK.
>You place your hands on both sides of the bed and try to get up, but a flash from her horn stops you from moving.
>"OH NO YOU DON'T"
"WHAT THE FUCK LET ME OUT!"
>"You said you would take responsibilities!"
"I thought you were talking about cleaning up and shit!"
>She's furious.
>She's so mad tears are forming in her eyes, you don't remember ever making her so mad.
"L-Listen-"
>"NO! YOU listen! I-I told you not to come inside! And you did! Y-You said I was c-cute a-and beautiful!"
>She's crying.
>You made her cry.
>You fucked up big time.
>"S-So what now?! Are you going to j-just, leave?! And let me have foals, OUR foals, and not be there?!"
>"W-Wouldn't that make you a fucking nigger?!"

>>29928472
>Your eyes go wide when you hear her say that.
>You never expected ponies to actually listen when you were shitposting IRL.
>And she obviously have no idea what she's talking about.
"No, no, no, no, I wouldn't do that, of course I wouldn't do that. I'd never leave you after.. What we just had Twilight."
>She's not looking at you anymore. She's just crying with her head burrowed in your covers.
"Listen, Twily, please look at me."
>Her horn stops glowing and you get your control over your limbs back.
>"N-No, I-I-I just can't look at you anymore Anon."
>You instantly go for her cheeks, cupping them and forcing her to face you.
"Listen.. Just.. I'm an asshole, I know, I know I fucked up, but please forgive me, just this once."
>You wipe her tears with your thumbs and she groans.
"I just didn't know, okay?"
>She tries to look away but your hands stops her.
>She could easily overpower you, but she doesn't.
>That's a good sign, right?
"Listen, if, if you end up bearing my chil-foals. Centaurs. Satyrs. I don't know, it doesn't matter. I swear, if you're pregnant, I'll be there. I'll stay here, right here, right next to you, as much and as long as you want."
>Her sour expression turns hopeful with every words coming out of your mouth.
>"You promise?"
"Yes, of course."
>"Pinkie promise?"
>You smirk when the start of a smile appears on the corner of her lips.
"Yes, yes I Pinkie promise, stick a cupcake in my eye and all that shi-"
>A Pink form coming from under your bed startles you.
>"I HEARD THAT, you better keep that promise anon!"
"WHAT THE FUCK PINKIE HOW DID YOU FUCKIN-"

THE END

For real this time.
Couldn't leave it like that, I think this is better.

>>29928299
Well, it's literally part of the story, it would be a no no if twiggly didn't know how to hentai magic.
But hey, if that really still breaks it for you, too bad

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>>29928411
>outer parts of the vagina

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>>29928475
You did good. Nothing is better than lasting loving relationship and starting a family

>>29928411
>>Superior stamina
Cool headcanon.
>>More dexterous
Unicorns.
>>mares are mainly sensitive at the outer parts of the vagina
So are women, and yet bigger still means better for some reason.
>>faster recuperation between sessions
If you're a woman.
>>No painful flares
>mares are mainly sensitive at the outer parts of the vagina
>>We can carry our mares in our arms when they're tired
Huh...

>>29928315
Womb perforation is hotter.

>>29928776
Oh snap

>>29928472
>And how did you think minotaurs and griffins were made?
Considering there are no three-quarters lion one-quarter eagle and similar variants of gryphons, they're probably just a distinct species.

>>29929010
>There are no
And how do you know that anon?
Do you live in Equestria?
You tryin to trigger my autism there pal? Imma fuck u up

>>29929021
How do you know there are?
Do you live in Equestria?
Come at me bro.

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>>29929096
Yes, in fact, I even have a wife and a dozen kids!

>>29928475
it was nice, although you might want to work on your verbiage a bit. you used the word "fuck" 39 times

>>29929187
To live in Equestria is slang for to have a wife and a shitload of kids? Damn this ponyfag lingo.

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>>29929222
Mh, yeah, I also stopped myself from adding more several times.
English isn't my main language, so my vocabulary is obviously lacking too. Then again, I didn't expect it to be this long.
Also wanted to stay with the 'fuck everything' kind of Anon.
(Because Twiggly getting mad at him for using bad words is my fetish.)

>>29929259
>There are people on this board that don't dream of getting married and have as many kids as possible with their waifu.
Why even live

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>>29929294
>Twiggly getting mad at him for using bad words is my fetish
That's extremely specific.
I thought I was the only one

>>29929294
>there are people who ironically find the meaning of life in people on a certain image board sharing their unrealistic fantasies
Why even stay undead

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>>29926580

>>29929922
See how adorable they are?

>>29929922
>>29929987
Just more limbs to hug and hug with!
Real question would be what kinda pussy

>>29930025
both

>>29929922
It looks like you can detach the pone and the head will just spring out of the body.

>>29930171
It makes a SPROING sound, and then you have TWO monstergirl daughters.

This is why reverse centaurs a best.

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>>29930211
Now THAT'S the kind of daughter I want.

>>29930211
in b4 they do the "fusion dance" and re-merge, this time as a normal centaur, because they like to take turns

>>29928776
>and yet bigger still means better for some reason
Cool headcanon.

>>29915550
I'm not sure about that. All jokes about canonicity aside, EQG shows Equestrian-Twi to be attracted to human males, so pheromones shouldn't be a problem. Hell, Earth horses can enjoy sex with humans, and vice versa, so I really think the pheromone thing is a non issue.

Those creatures may have hands, but the're also clawed hands, which means that ours will still be superior at massages and other pleasurable activities.

The last part is the most likely to cause problems, but it's conceivable that it could actually be a boon. As a head of state, she'd constantly have to be on guard about not appearing to favor one group of influential nobles over another to avoid losing their support. A marriage or open relationship would certainly fall under that umbrella, but as a lone alien creature, you could be seen as a safe option.

If I read that correctly, and you are/want to be/would be in Equestria, a woman, then that could be seen as a positive, perhaps as not having to worry about the production of heirs, or it may mean your relationship could be more easily hidden, though I get the impression that the ponies wouldn't even bat an eye at homosexuality. Noponyy seemed to care about LyraBon, or princess Big Mac.

>>29930417
Eh, whatever helps you feel better about your amazing 4.5 inches.

>>29931044
>imperial units

>>29930725
>flashlight is canon
DELEEET THIS REEEEEEEEE

>>29931060
Okay, 0.0000000000000000115 lightyears.
Better?

>>29928776
so salty

>>29931098
>can't even convert properly

>>29931174
Geez, give me a break. It was close enough. http://www.wolframalpha.com/input/?i=4.5+inches+to+lightyears

>>29931201
you could jst do it with calculator
but you first need a brain to use it

>>29928475
My side

>>29930725
As this is starting to wander away from the point of the thread, I'll spoiler this so as not to irritate everyone else with my responses.

EqG? Really? Of course, I haven't seen it, but--well, let me absorb and internalize that and get back to you.

Do minotaurs have clawed hands? I wonder if they have bull-sized genitalia, which would be less inappropriate for pleasing an alicorn princess who, depending on the material you read, is in the real-world-actual-horse size range, though probably at the low end of it.

I'm a guy, but I don't pretend that my dick is going to be terribly impressive, in any sense, to half a ton of talking horse. Nor is anything else about me. She might enjoy it if I were to eat her out, or finger her, or I might have to fist her--and I would be overjoyed to have the opportunity for any of those, but we're getting into "Skitty on Wailord Action" territory here with the sheer size difference (though in my fantasies, her pretty little muzzle is just the perfect size and shape for kissing, and blowjobs), even if she felt any attraction for me, which seems unlikely in the extreme. Human women are not terribly impressed with me either.

As for dynastic politics, in our world arranged marriage, sometimes with first cousins, for political ends are the norm. I wonder whether Sunbutt was married to the Griffin Emperor, or whatever his title may be, fifty or a hundred years ago--not for love, but for a peace treaty. In our world, particularly during the era in which Europe's royal families were powerful and politically significant (that is to say, before the First World War), they might have had dalliances with commoners now and then but never openly. The Princess always had to marry another Hohenzollern, Cousin Fritz from Lower Saxony, or whatever, for the sake of the treaty of alliance. If she had feelings for a commoner, a bodyguard or what have you, it didn't matter.

>>29923305
>kissing her
>immediately after she sucked your dick
what are you fuckin gay bro

>>29914365
Go back to your Discord channel and stay there, cancer

>>29933284
It's not gay if it's your own dick

>>29933284
She didn't even really get to the sucking fgt.
There isn't even any cream to snowball, and even if there was who gives a fuck, kissing ur mare is more important

>>29914183
Hey mate can you give me your steam account?
I wanna add you

>>29933735
>>29933679
fags in denial

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>>29927923
>>29927931
>>29927950
>>29927986
>>29927986
>not a kissless virgin
Go back in the trash you subhuman scum
All of the non-taken ponies in the show are kissless virgins

>>29927986
You belong in the trash piece of shit subhuman scum

>>29933853
And how do you assume that Twilight wasn't a virgin in this story?
And how do you know it happened in the show's timeline, and not, say, years later?
And how do you know that your waifu is pure, and not a slut offering her ass to any dick appearing when she's in heat?

>>29933853
>>29933868
Nobody's gonna take the bait you dumb fu-

>>29933870
Oh shit

>>29933870
>>29933874
Niggers all of the non taken ponies in the show are my waifus
MLP is a child cartoon, so they are all kissless virgins
Also, there wasn't a hymen breaking in the story
Dumb fucks

>>29933881
Fuck me tho, Cadence is a hottie so in my fantasy Shining is gay and Cadence is a kissless virgin

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>getting triggered by a short romantic green

>>29934137
FUCK YOU TWIGGLE IT'S NOT SHORT REEEEEEEEEEEE

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>>29934342
Everything is too short for Twiggy

>>29934137
>romantic green
What a fancy way to say crude smut.

>>29934516
>implying we don't love smut here

>>29934532
The implyings are only in your head, Aanon.

>>29934516
Compared to most of the shit you see here it's pretty tame and vanilla.

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>>29913461
I think you could plausibly stand a chance on all fronts except one, you'll never give your mare foals.

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>>29934573
We don't know how it'd go down. Maybe your seed would plant a satyr.

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>>29934573
Anything is possible with magic.

>>29934580
I wouldn't hold my breath. There are no freaky pony hybrids in the show.

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>>29934581
Sorry, but this silly old handwave doesn't seem to do it for me anymore. The omnipotent magic that can make any wish come true meme just adds a layer of incredibility on top of what's already a pretty shaky wish-fulfillment fantasy. It just makes my waifu and my relationship with her feel that much less real.

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>>29934642

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>>29934642
>shaky wish-fulfillment fantasy
Don't bring """""realism""""" into your escapism dude, either accept all of it as non-realistic altogether or not at all. It's such a retarded slippery slope, you suspend your disbelief at the doorstep of your waifu's entire universe, there's no need to get more desperate than you already are. What's the next step, viewing your relationship as unrealistic? That she would love you at all? That she would even allow you into her home? That she would even look at you as more than a wierd creature? That you shouldn't even imagine yourself with her at all? Fuck, dude. Get your escapism together, man. It's just too cruel, it's supposed to bring you happiness. Don't dismiss everything like this. Celestia herself blessed us all in our ways.
Just solve it in a way YOU can believe. Something like turns out humans and ponies are genetically compatible but the result can't be predicted and it's a battle for the life of your child as they can get a lot of defects at birth. Bam, done. Not too perfect, flawed but still possibly sweet, no magic deus ex machina. Lots of ways for it to go wrong so you can punch yourself in the gut for making your fantasies too perfect. Work around it, I'm sure you can find a way.
Don't turn it all into this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rJjkTUEyqms

>>29920857
...Excellente.

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>>29913461
>implying a horse could fulfill the will of God and reclaim the Holy Land in the name of Christianity
Deus Vult

>>29928411
Goddamn magical horses ruining my fucking image board.

>>29934767
If any horse could, it would be Twiggles.

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>>29934722
Even in my own fantasy I never portrait Equestria as some kind of Utopia, it just doesn't work for me.
Or Celestia being goddess, or magic being omnipotent.
I don't know why but I just don't want to accept those things.

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>>29934807
Good, you create you own Equestria, but that doesn't mean it can't naturally support your fantasies in a way you can find acceptible. For me, having kids with my waifu isn't even a question. It's possible by default. It may not be for you but that doesn't mean you should suffer for real because of this. Magic isn't the only way to make it work.

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>>29913488
Thanks Anon I've been looking for that chart for ages now

>>29934516
Why isn't it romantic?
There's feelings, sensuality, tenderness and, basically, a promise to spend the rest of your life with each other.
What more do you need?

>>29934906
Because the bog-standard clop with its bog-standard clop tropes overshadows that aspect entirely. What would make it actually romantic? Subtlety in the smut part and less of the smut in general. More focus on the "romance", etc. Its not being so formulaic would also help to make it seem less like porn you look up on the internet to beat off to. There's very little, if anything at all, distinguishing it from the rest of the clop you can find on /mlp/.

>>29934972
>There's very little, if anything at all, distinguishing it from the rest of the clop you can find on /mlp/
You make that sound like a bad thing.

>>29934981
It depends on your preferences. If you want originality, it is a bad thing. If you want a quick fap, who cares if it's cliched or not.

>>29934972
Well no, you actually make it sound like it's as romantic as a >rape fic or smth.
And as if you can't have romance, and smut.
Normal people actually like sex, and like love, being loved, flirting etc.
Is it a clop green, yes.
Is it a romance green, yes.
If you're too autistic to accept to merge the two together, then there surely is some fic on fimfic that will do you justice, under the 'teen' tag.

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>>29913461
I could beat one in a thumb war

>>29935005
>autistic
Right. The sign that not only you got triggered, but that you also don't understand what I'm trying to do here.
I'm simply explaining my views here, and what I think a certain word means to me. In this case the word is romance. See, not all people are identical. They see the world differently, they feel differently, different words mean different things to them. If someone is baffled by the way you view a certain thing, you might be compelled to try and explain it. And occasionally, the explanation triggers a person of your disposition, a person who likes to misuse the word autistic. And that's fine. The world would be a slightly more boring place without people like you.
Anyhow, let's try again. The story in question consist mainly of crude, overly explicit passages. Agree? When I take it and compare it against my subjective experience, which includes various sorts of literature, actual books, erotica even, much of which didn't originate on 4chan, which may be hard to imagine, my gut tells me it's plain old smut, not much more. It's this simple. Even if I limit my perspective to only /mlp/, I still struggle to consider it romantic enough, because I've read short stories, that were more common in the olden days, and longer, more recent works, like the dash thing written by mobius - which I see as way more romantic than this one, even though it contained explicit clop.
Does it really mean that much to you to make me label this thing as "romantic"? I really hope not.

>>29935232
>autistic
Participating in too long didn't read flamewars is a sign. Autism is a disease. Get the diagnosis before it gets you.

>>29935241
Or I could simply have too much time on my hands and feel somewhat confrontational today. But I'm sure your conjecture is more valid, because you know me so well you can put me in one of the two well defined boxes in your mind and be done with it all.

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>>29935005
>so defensive
Huh... Are you the author by any chance?

>>29913563
>>29913688
>>29918205
>implying all stallions are subs
>not wanting to be fucked until you're a moaning, panting, sweaty mess
>not wanting to feel a stallion's thick cock hilting inside you and filling you full of hot cum
>not wanting him to dismount and kiss your hair as you catch your breath, only to have another stallion take his place on top of you

>>29935232
>using the first degree when reading 'autistic'
>here
Wanna know how I know you're new?

>>29914365
10/10 would succ

>>29935428
Let me take a guess. Is it because you were lobotomized at birth?

>>29935232
That's some autism if I ever read it.
But hey, let's try to 'explain' my views.
What does it being 'original' or it being the 'first of its kind', when talking about the fact that it's smut, has to do with anything? Or rather, why does this would affect whether you can qualify it as romantic, or not?
If you don't find it romantic, well, okay, that's your problem. But that you'd go so far as say, as 'declare' it as not being romantic, as respond to other people that do find it romantic, and tell them that 'no it's not', then yeah, you're being autistic, a dumbass, and an asshole.
It's 4chan, so no one cares, really, but that doesn't mean that nobody is going to tell you that you're full of shit, when you're spewing this kind of retarded nonsense all over the place.
So now, you can try to lurk a bit more and understand how the board culture work, as well as try to contain your autism.

>>29935412
Ok, we'll split the stallions. You get the doms and I'll get the subs. And those that like to dom and sub we'll share.

>>29935520
>autistic, a dumbass, an asshole, full of shit, retarded nonsense
Not helping your cause there, mate.
So, you've pushed the discussion over the cliff into the territory of personal attacks and wild accusations. God knows why you got so riled up. I don't care. I'm sorry, but I'm not going to participate in a senseless internet punch-up.

I will try to respond to the one relevant thing in your post, though. And to appease your literal-mindedness, I'm going to preface my response by stressing that whenever I judge the contents or style of a creative work, it's merely pure opinion I 'declare'. And if you find it negative, then I'm sorry. Such is life.

So about the 'originality' thing. This green relies on the limited bags of tricks that are typically, even stereotypically, employed in your run-of-the-mill /mlp/-style clop (as is my impression). When you encounter the kinds of stylistic and narrative devices that are heavily used in clop, it's not difficult to imagine one might associate the story with common clop. Obviously, deviating from the formula can help. Help -- it can't make it into something that (to me) it's not. This by itself can't affect its nature. I did use the word 'help', didn't I?

>>29936237
>still crying after mommy
hot damn boy aren't you dense.
stopped at 'cause', tldr

>>29913461
>12 seconds

>>29936245
Now that's the kind of mature reply I expected. I'm proud of you anon.

>>29936264
>it's 20 seconds for chimpanzees
Yay, monkeys win!

File: why u gotta do dis.gif (787KB, 240x174px) Image search: [Google]

787KB, 240x174px

>>29936237
but that's not what that anon said, dumdum
he's mad at the fact that you said this >>29934516
all you're doing is using big words and thousand words responses to try and 'help your cause', without actually considering what the anon said, and why he said it
desu you're being kind of autistic
but hey who am I to say that, I'm using this chinese imageboard

>>29936304
mlp ponies aren't that much more fragile and developed compared to their would-be ancestors as humans are with chimps, still.
And their anatomy still presents many physical disadvantages that would make higher sexual stamina rather irrelevant.

>>29920493
>spoiler
You've got it backwards, buddy.

>>29936334
Huh? Explain in more detail, please?

File: readcarefully.png (9KB, 1309x101px) Image search: [Google]

9KB, 1309x101px

>ITT

>>29936327
>he's mad at the fact that you said this
Why should he/you give this much of a fuck about what some random anon says about some random green? He seems to be taking it way too personally. Why.

>>29913461
Who says I can't be a stallion? Anything is possible in a world created by our imagination.