RGRE: Reversed Gender Roles Equestria

>>28072052
Man that story was shitty.

>>28072095
What story? Presumably one related to the OP image?

>>28072052
Thanks for starting the new thread Anon

>>28072103
Yep.

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Where is the dong ring?

>>28072111
https://derpibooru.org/30618

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would you use your 'coltish charm' on mares

>>28072052
I want Octavia to say 'fuck it' and start doing punk and rapping to techno-rave

>>28072105
Whats the story, sis?

>>28072127
That's... kinda making sense dong rings

>>28072137
Exit Through Canterlot. Octavia becomes a smug Banksy wannabe.

>>28072127
Zecora's necklaces are dong rings she wears around her neck for when she finds the perfect nigger pony from the zebra ghetto to impregnate her and run. It's like Cinderella and looking for the foot that fills the glass slipper only with more food stamps and welfare cheques.

>>28071944
Yea, i gotta story to add to. Left it on a good note but it's been too long.

>>28071953
>SJW stallions are all up in arms at the sexist nature of car shows
>Normal stallions are track chicks.
>Only one lives a happy life.

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>>28072163
>smug Banksy wannabe
Okay, shit. Didn't read, so wasn't aware.
I bet it was as bad as those "my dubstep and your clasical music together" shitfucks

http://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/19267153/#q19354307
We don't have enough green where unicorns magically molest Anon

>>28072201
Why would horses need cars?
I bet the car shows are basically like BattleBots or something: unnecessary, edgy, nerdy, over the top.

>>28072252
Nice maymay. Get out.

>>28072260
What?

>>28072271
Those greens are always over-the-top OoC for the sole purpose of fetishes, and it seems really unnecessary. Seriously, why do people jack it to horsewords?

>>28072255
>Why would horses need cars?
Because horse drawn carriages aren't fast enough.

trains need tracks

and walking or flying isn't luxurious enough.

http://pastebin.com/Z8MTmJeD

>>28072252
>http://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/19267153/#q19354307
Oh hey look, it's OfficeAnon!

.....I have a sad now.

>>28072289
How is that a "maymay", you autist?
>Seriously, why do people jack it to horsewords?
Sure is summer in here.

>>28072297
I miss the classic writefags.

>>28072255
>unnecessary, edgy, nerdy, over the top.
Have you never seen a broadcasted car show? Anything other than a documentary is complete garbage.

>>28072328
>Implying

>>28072345
I just realized that that post doesn't make any sense

What I mean is that all the shows here are already like that.

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>>28072345
I don't understand.

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>>28072371
I was wondering how to reply! Thanks for clarifying.
I guess you're right.

>>28072369
Me too, sis. And the marely mares.

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>>28072391
I want to pick that ass up and fuck her by surprise.

>>28072404
She's not real.

>>28072414
Neither are you

I miss when RGR had actual sexism in it. It was a plot element that held Anon back and was something that Anon had to overcome instead of 2 dimensional characters who do one of two things, fawn over Anon or say variations of "he's just a colt"

>>28072463
I'm sorry our stories are not up to your high standards.

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>>28072456
>the entire human race is just a show created by HaveSis to sell their toy lines

>>28072480
>actual sexism
>"high standards"

>>28072485
>tfw will never get belly rubs from my humebando
Why live?

>>28072485
Remember sis:
He's not real

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>>28072485
>>28072499
>>28072544

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>>28072485
>He will never lecture you on societal values, and how the value of man deviates from it
>He will never force you to kill him so you can exit the orchard
>You will never take the alternative route and happily live with him in his quiet cottage
Why live?

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>>28072485
>>28072499
>>28072544
>>28072549
This pain sustains me.

>>28072654
Your not Satan.

Shit prompt1
>Mares show no interest in anon
>This changes when he herds with Trixie and lightning dust
>Now they're constantly trying to get him out of what they assume to be an abusive relationship, while RD and Twilights egos can't handle anon choosing their rivals or them bragging about him

Shit prompt2
>Spike crushes on Rarity
>Twilight crushes on Anon
>Anon and Rarity are monos and in a relationship with each other
>Spike and Twilight secretly plot to break them up

>>28072782
I'll pick one of those up tomorrow, senpai.

>>28072847
Liar.

>>28072867
I'm tired, Anon, and I don't want to write today.

>>28072485
>NEW!
>MY BIG HUMAN: FALL OF ROME PLAYSET!
>THE HUMANS REALLY SCREAM!
>"AHHHHHH!"
>Foals, ask your parents for permission!
>20 bits!
>Batteries not included.

>>28072911
They still sell gen2 MLH playsets?

>>28072911
>Hey colts!
>Brand new line of characters including your favourite background humans!
>No on-screen lines? No problem!
>Including: Steven! Ralph! James! Dan! Lauren! And unnamed human wearing flame t-shirt!

>>28072959
>>28072911
Not I can only imagine RGRE Ariana play with her My Little Human; Hitler edition, and saying he is an action figure not a doll while she gases Jews. The Jews also look like actual monsters in the playset. I thought to hard about this.

>>28072991
>The (((media))) will never let you buy a My Little Hitler playset with Gas Chamber action.

>>28073030
kek

>>28072463
How's this:

>”The laws clearly state that you cannot buy your own home.”
“Then where the fuck am I supposed to live you jackass.”
>”Does it look like I care?”
>The bored mare behind the counter cast a glance in both directions before leaning towards you.
>”Listen between the two us” you nodded prompting her to continue “You’re not a bad looking stallion, go find a mare who’ll take care of you.”
>Smiling you leaned in as well, and got up right close to her.
“I’d rather stick my dick in a paper shredder.”
>Flipping off the clerk at the local estate agency, which garnered a confused expression, you walked outside.
>The sun beat down on you like an added weight, compounding the fact that you still haven’t found a place of your own.
>Sure, you were currently living in Applejacks barn, which after some work actually wasn’t so bad.
>But you wanted a place of your own, a roof over your head.
>Fucking pony laws, fucking damn backwards ass world.
>You couldn’t own property, you were only allowed to apply for certain jobs, hell you couldn’t even vote.
>Passing by some construction ponies you heard the familiar catcalling.
>”Hey there sweet flanks, why don’ you come over here and let me show you how a how a real mare treats a stallion.”
>At first it was flattering, now it was nothing more than an annoyance.
>With every passing day you hated this place just a little bit more and more.

>>28073293
I think that's enough.

>>28073293

Stallion's Rights Activist Anon? That could go interesting places

>>28073293
I cant believe how much I missed this, keep going.

>>28073293
There's a perfectly good spooky forest right next door that ponies are scared to enter filled with wood to make a house.

>>28073293
Really guys? We either do
>anon is mildly inconvenienced by mares going m'lord to him
or
>anon is practically an animal with zero rights and his only hope is to whore himself out to someone?

>>28073293
>Anon builds house in spook-filled forest.
>No pony knows where he went
>After ten years of solitude he's a innawords survivalist operator with 0 social skills
>Accidentally goes into town one day after chasing a turkey a bit too far.
>Innawoods beastmode anon in matriarchy equestria.
>Little ponis's still try to keep him from going home, delaying him every time he says he needs to get back.

>>28073341
What ever happened to Nord Anon? I miss that story.

>>28073414
Link pls

Hey I just finished reading "Get Cutter Make Butter" including the first short

Did i miss something because between 2 and 3 there seems to be a huge gap where anon actually gets thrown out of his gym and then also the part button mash being given drugs?

This seems really weird because I'm pretty sure i read everything in Lap's pastebin chronologically

>>28073414
ITS FUCKING DEAD

THEYRE ALL FUCKING DEAD

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>>28073429

>>28073327
>Oh the look of horror on the mares face was priceless.
>When you left the building the other day she thought that would be the last of it, that you would kindly fuck off like any other stallion.
>But you were an asshole, a resourceful asshole, an asshole with a library card.
>”Bu.. bu.. but the law states”
“The law states that no stallion can own property unless he is in a herd, and his alpha allows it.”
>Maybe you were a lawyer or something in your past life?
“Fortunately for me I am neither in a herd nor a stallion.”
>Pulling out the parchment onto which you carefully transcribed the laws from the vast tomes in the library, you readied yourself to educate her.
“According to the federal law of Equestria and I quote ‘Any species not considered pony cannot be considered as such in enforcement of the law.’, so I’m not a stallion by your very own laws.”
>Oh the look of apprehension on her face was only fueling your hate boner right now.
“Normally any citizen of Equestria can buy property provided that they are mare or stallion with a mares permission. But I fall into a nice little category which doesn’t preclude me from purchasing it.”
>Rolling up the parchment you resisted smacking her on the head with it, no matter how satisfying it might have felt.
“So here’s what you can do, that nice little plot of land by the everfree, I’m buying it and you’re going to sell me the permit to buy it.”
“And don’t try some stupid shit like we can’t, because thanks to another little law, any refusal to sell to another species can be deemed prejudiced.”
>The mare was shaking as she pulled all the necessary paperwork and began scribbling with a quill.
>Yeah that’s right, fuck you, just because the rest of the males in this world were a useless bunch who didn’t care about simple rights, didn’t mean you didn’t.
>Snatching the paperwork up the moment she finished you smiled at the mare.
“Thank you, have a nice day now.”

>>28073414
LaP realized he was writing an interesting, funny story, with believable characters and conflict, so he had to stop and go write something retarded instead.

>>28073389
People get angry if the rgre isn't straight in your face obvious. At least that's what it looks like to me.

Then again I'm the bottom of the totem pole as far as writefags go so I'm probably wrong or blowing it out of proportion.

>>28073460
BureaucracyAnon to the rescue!
FEAR HIS FORMS, IN TRIPLICATE!

>>28073389
Yeah, we aren't very good at getting to mid-1900's, which I think is the level these people are looking for. Personally I prefer the mild inconvenience ones.

>>28073460
>Twilight almost (something something RGRE here) herself that there was an attractive stallion in her library, who was actually interested in something more than romance novels

>>28073489
wait, are mid-1900's extreme or subtle sexism?

>>28073507
rather extreme. It was women JUST getting to vote type times.

>>28073521
"Extreme" is like current Middle east.
mid 1900's in the west is no where near that extreme

>>28073481
Please let this be a story.

>>28072463
Now it's exclusively herdshit.

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>>28073605
so salty
every thread too

>>28073572
>>28073481
>>28073460

>Anon gets around institutionalized sexism through legal loopholes, leaving mares sputtering in surprise and stallions inspired by his determination

>>28072292
>>28072255
>Why would horses need cars?
Why would humans need cars?

>>28072463
Show us how it's done.

>>28072485
>TFW you will never be real

>>28073293
Shouldn't an unmarried colt be assigned a foster mother in this?

>>28073407
>Spooks are just halloween-tier in everfree
>Story continues as a slice of life with Anon living in the everfree
>Is neighbors with Steven Magnet and Zecora

>>28073422
I'm pretty sure Rumble gets given the grow-grow juice before the stallions go full retard.

>>28073460
>>28073498
>>28073481
>Twilight is aroused by Anon's legalling and paperworking
>Wants to court him but doesn't know how
>Horsespaghettis at him trying to ask him out
>Mane six all try to help
>They do not help by trying to help
>They show up every week or two in the Everfree trying some new plan to get Twilight together with Anon

>>28073389
Personally I prefer this level of sexism:

>You are Anon, home-owner.
>When it came to buying your house, the biggest hurdle you had to face was when the mare you handed all your forms to jokingly asked if you wanted to save bits and move in with her in exchange for sexual favours.
>You both had a good laugh and she told you to have a good day when you left.
>You pay for your house with a nice office job.
>Your cubicle isn't any different than anybody else's, but your neighbors peek their heads up over the wall to talk to you more often than they do to their other female neighbors.
>You heard a bit of grumbling when you climbed the ladder from "coffee fetcher" to "pencil pusher" so quickly, and more than one mare laughed and told you that they'd miss seeing your "pretty face" bringing them their coffee.
>You've had more than your fair share of ass-pats from passing mares, but it isn't anything to complain about and it isn't as though they're holding you down and violating you.
>You've got a bunch of friends here in Ponyville, both male and female
>Most of your female friends are pretty cool and they remind you of your "Bros" from home.
>The male friends are also pretty cool, but they gossip a lot more than your "Bros" back home did, and they talk a lot about their kids.
>The last time there was a big game of hoofball, one of your female friends (the one with the off-colour sense of humour that sometimes gets her into trouble) asked you to grab her a cider and called you "babe".
>There was a long silence and some of your male friends looked unimpressed, but then you and your female friend burst out into laughter.
>You still got her the cider, though, because you're friends and she asked you nicely after apologizing.
>Some of your friends worry about you living alone and have told you that a herd would be able to help protect you, but they don't push it when you said that you weren't looking for a herd at the moment.

>>28073460
Ohhhhhhh yesssssss, thinks strokes my file boner just right.

>>28073651
>You have one friend who looks down at you for being herdless and thinks that you're trying to corrupt the youth by rejecting the idea of finding a herd early in life
>She also thinks you're practicing wizardry and didn't show up for horsechurch because you were busy learning how to become a homosexual
>There was this one time you were walking around alone at night and kind of got jumped by a mare looking to have some "fun" with you, but she weren't expecting a male to fight back too much and you surprised her with a quick punch in the snout.
>The ponice were kind to you, giving you a mug of coffee and a blanket to wear around your shoulders, and they even said that they would have a police mare or two stationed outside your house for the next few days and to escort you to and from work.
>They implied that you shouldn't be walking around at night and recommended that you should start wearing whatever passed in Equestria for more conservative clothing so that you don't make yourself a target
>Overall, life's pretty good.
>No weird laws that prevent you from owning property or forcing you into a herd, so you're treated with basic human (pony?) dignity
>A bit more attention from the female sex than you were used to, but at the same time mares aren't tripping over their fedoras to "m'lord" you
>A few of your neighbors are assholes who don't think you're a "proper stallion", but life is full of assholes
>You are Anon and your life in RGREquestria is pretty comfy.

>>28072782
NEW in stores: shit prompts 3 and 4

3.
>Anons dog is same size as poner
>Poner try to romance it only to get cucked by Winona

4.
>Anon understands pets but not ponies, and is considered a pet himself
>Winona, Opal and Fluttershy compete to rgre romance him

Extra bonus shit prompt
>Much like ponies are based on pets and pack beasts on earth, humans are based on pets and pack beasts in equestria
>Anon struggles to find a mare willing to herd with him as most fear a zoophile stigma while trying to avoid the advances of wild apes

>>28073651

I like it

>>28073656
This is a good thing and I like it, but it just ends up as our world with ponies that give about us.

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>>28073481
>A few key ponies realize that Anon, as a real alien who looks, thinks, and functions differently from ponies, is probably going to be ill suited for their laws and society.
>There is no way around everything without being unfairly biased in his favor or throwing all the gender divided laws out and messing up Equestria.
>And what about all the alien knowledge he has? What if his ideas thoughts throw Equestria out of wack? They can't just order him to not talk.
>What if? Is the big question on everything now.
>Anon is now stuck in a world of ponies with a backwards society and his mere presence has caused a shitstorm.
>Not good.

>>28073678
Well, fuck. I guess I see why the extremes in this thread exist even if they are a bit silly.

>>28073678
I missed Shit* after give. But you get the idea.

>>28073460
>”Have you heard about that stallion Anon?”
>”Yeah, he used some law to get himself a plot of land and he’s building his own home there.”
>”But why? Why not just get a mare to take care of all that nonsense, what a silly goose.”
>The nice cucumber and daffodil sandwich which you were eating dropped to the plate.
>This was not right! Anonymous was a stallion, law or not he shouldn’t be living by himself.
>Time for the Princess of Friendship to set things right, you should have known when he showed up at the library that things weren’t right.

“Fuck off Twilight, I’m in no mood for your shit right now.”
>”What if some mare tries to break in? Please I’m just worried about you.”
“If they try breaking in then I’m going to use one of the many pieces of wood here to beat their asses red.”
>Or redder if their particular coloration called for it.
“I’m sorry it has to come to this Anon”
>You didn’t like the sound of that.
“As the princess I hereby decree that you may not own property.”
>Eyeing the one of the two by fours you intended to use in construction, you thought about setting the alicorn across your knee and showing her just how much you valued her decree.
“If that’s a joke, I’m not laughing. Now go away, I still have to get a whole lot more done before the day is through.”
>”I’m serious Anon, I’m rescinding your permit.” You stopped sawing and felt your eye twitch.
>You done goofed up Sparkle, goofed up good.
“You can have it.”
>Twilight looked almost relieved when you said that.
“When you pry it from my cold dead hands.”

---
I think I went a little too edgy at the end there.

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>>28073798
I LOVE IT!

>>28073798
>I think I went a little too edgy at the end there.
Not really

That would be how any normal person would react to some bureaucrat trying to unjustly evicting and effectively robbing them

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>>28073798
No, no I'd say that was the appropriate response.

Fuck anyone who wants to steal your freedom away right up the ass.

MY FUCKING FREEDOMS. This is why I'd live with the gryphons.

>>28073798
To be frank, you didn't. Considering my response in that case would either be take it to court and show she is being a "sexist, racist, culturally ignorant pig" so they'll rip her a new one or beating her with one of those pieces of wood until she was pulp.

Other methods of beating the shit out of her include; knee to face, face to ground, foot to front of leg (dislocating it) and various other such things. I assume magic would deal with that sort of shit, so no real long term harm.


Alternately, wait until she goes to sleep in the tree-library / crystal palace and kill her. Assuming she hasn't actually told anyone else that she rescinded the permit, then it'll be as if she never did. This option assumes I could get away with murder and otherwise didn't need or like twilight. Which considering her behaviour I would not.


Or. just continue building the house.

>>28073798
keep going

>>28073798

I like Anon's response, but I hate that Twi is the villain again.

Can't we do Luna as the sexist princess instead? She's 1000 years behind everyone else so it makes more sense.

>>28073858
>but I hate that Twi is the villain again.
This goddamn it

>>28073858
why in the fuck would she hear about it? I mean, unless she is down in town for nightmare night I doubt she'd hear shit about it.

>>28073858
Then he'd have to live in Canterlot because why the fuck is a major princess going to give a shit about what happens in some backwater town?

>>28073871

I dunno. Celestia sends Luna to Ponyville to try and get a feel of what modern ponies are like, but sees Anon alone in a house without a mare and it offends her sense of what is right?

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>>28073798
It's time for a paddlin',
Friendship needs to learn a lesson

>>28073858
Then Luna would either be like a muslim that rapes and kills those she didn't like, or just as likely be apart of reverse-reverse gender roles and would be very pissed at Twilight and Celestia by extension for letting it get like this.

>>28073883
or maybe it makes her think it's fine for stallions to do such things, and she brings a new wave of correct Stallion Rights.

>>28073858
This. Luna as a villain doesn't work in this particular story, but villain-Twilight is so overplayed that I'm actually surprised when I find an RGRE story where Twilight isn't a sexist piece of shit who actively works against ANon.

>>28073798
>Completely out of breath from running you finally reached the treebary 2.0
>After your little “encounter” with Anon, things didn’t go exactly how you pictured in your head.
>He was supposed to realize how wrong he’s been, thank you, and maybe make out a little.
>Now however, you just finished running away from him and the stick he proclaimed he was going to jam up “where the sun don’t shine.”
>So let’s call that a draw for the meantime.
>You were going to need some help for this one that’s for sure.
“Spike!!! I need you to go get Applejack, Rarity and Pinkie while I get the other girls.”
>With your dragonserv… helper on his way, you began drawing up the course of action.
>With any luck, you’d have this whole thing resolved before the day was through.

“THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELLS YOU!!!!”
>Another pail full of water found it’s mark.
>”It’s cold! It’s cold!!!!!!!!”
>”My mane!!!”
>Pinkie and Rarity, both soaked, retreated back to where the others stood, just at the edge of your property.
>YOUR PROPERTY.
>Because fuck you Twilight, fuck you and your decree.
>Everytime one of them even put one hoof on your sacred ground you delivered a calculated response.
>Mainly a pail full of ice cold water from the nearby stream. You weren’t ready to put any of them in the horsepital.
>Yet.
>”Consarnit Anon, will you just listen to reason here?”
“Hell no I won’t, I paid for this place, and intend to build my house here. Why is that so hard to understand?”
>”Because we care about you nonny.” Pinkie now looking much less puffy than she had a few minutes ago yelled back.
>”And we don’t want to see you get hurt.”
“The only ones getting hurt are you all if you try pulling any more of your crap.”
>Nice Anon was gone, these fuckers pushed and pushed, until he broke, now asshole Anon was here and ready to insert foot in ass.

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>>28072983
> renaissance anon gets ported over to equestria
>fully kitted out with proper gear; gambeson, sverd, sunstone, even properly linked mail and matching coif and mail coif
>looks remarkably like a mlh character
>when discovered by Luna, he never broke character out of fun and curiosity
>Pones lose it
>My little humanis real, as well as king Artur Pendragone
>Anon is marginally worn out yet decently happy
>tons of pones seeking hmd, either for his royal name or to have him as prince-consort
>plus side; property owner and no one questions him

>>28073993
Actual renaissance or renaissance fair?

>>28074017
The fair grounds kind, maybe should have put "reenactor" after renaissance

>>28073993
>Ponies catch sight of Anon at his house sitting around in his underwear drinking beer and acting VERY much like his usual MLH-self wouldn't
>He panics and starts yelling about how an evil force has bewitched him

It would be like a little kid catching sight of a mascot without its head on and the guy inside is having a smoke.

>>28073929
>now asshole Anon was here and ready to insert foot in ass.
"You're lucky this fence is between my foot and your ass."

>"Please Anon! There's better ways to handle this, talking, reasoning,-"
"My foot kicking your ass."

>>28074059
>Red Foreman of That 70's Show in Equestria

>>28074084
>Anon Foreman

>>28073929
>You were all drenched from mane to tail. All of you were.
>”You ever seen something like that before?”
>No Applejack, no I haven’t.
>”I say we let him just continue his little tantrum, he’ll give up like a stallion and come back saying he’s sorry.” Trying to fix her mane, Rarity scoffed.
>I don’t think he will, and judging by the skeptical glances of the other girls neither did they.
>Anon was stubborn, too stubborn for his own good.
>”Hey Twilight, you said you cancelled his thing right? Why not get the ponice to just go and kick him out?”
“Because it would turn into nothing more than a nightmare. The stallion rights movement would have more talking points for their silly rallies.”
>Those stallions sure did have some crazy ideas. It’s like they didn’t appreciate the good lives they led.
>Never having to worry about being provided for, having a roof over their heads, food in their stomachs.
>Your mentor had to deal with their outlandish ideas on a daily basis, you weren’t about to bring that storm here.
“We’re going to handle this like adult mares, tomorrow we’re going to go and just talk with him. No trying to pry him out, just talk.”
>”Psshhh whatever, I’m going to grab some of those rain clouds from the south and put them right over his tent and payback while you “talk”.
“You most certainly won’t! We want to be on his good side, not make things worse.”
>Things were getting out of hoof way to quickly, you didn’t want or need Rainbow to make things any more complicated than they already were.
>And you most certainly wanted to avoid getting doused with water again, you didn’t want to catch a cold to be honest.
>Why couldn’t Anon just be rational about this, any mare would be lucky to..
“Girls I think I know exactly how to start our conversation tomorrow with Anon, and no rain clouds!”

>>28074084
>>28074091
>"Give me five reasons why we should stop, Anon."
"I'll give you five toes when I shove my foot up your ass!"

>>28074121
>Rainbow promptly closed her mouth before she could even get a word out and stuck her tongue out at you.
>If you played your cards right, you and Anon would be cuddling together just like in those neighponese comic books that you certainly didn’t have stashed under your bed.
>”But what if it doesn’t work and nonny just get angrier?”
>Darn you Pinkie, it will work.
“Then we’ll try harder and harder, until it does.”
>Your resolve strengthened you said goodnight to the girls, and they headed home for the night.
>Tomorrow Anon, just you wait.

--
Well this quickly went from a quick one post to something more. I'm done for the night, got to lube up and head to meet my challenger at the Hollywood sign.

>>28074121
>Rainbow Dash brings a thunder cloud
>Zaps Anon
>Mares wait for Anon to get up and yell at them
>He doesn't

>>28074150
There was already a general about that.
I didn't read much, because it was too depressing.
But I think we can safely assume that eventually all the writefags left, the thread turned to shit, and then it died.

>>28074140
>”But what if it doesn’t work and nonny just get angrier?”
Silly Pinkie, that kind of logical thinking has no place here.
Pinkie is the only one of them who avoids getting the boot

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>>28074056
Maybe I should try my hand at writefagging?

Also
>massive quest gets setup to find the foul witch who cursed the honorable king

Welp, gimme a bit

>>28074216
Instead she gets another bucket of water becuase a wet mane Pinkie is a lewd Pinkie.

>>28074182
One writefag actually wrote about what Dash did with Anon's body.... for about 2 posts. Then he turned into a faggot and made his story about Anon and some OC alicorn who was actually Death. Once in a while the narrative would go back to Dash, but she'd either be busy thinking "oh shit I killed Anon" or she'd be whining non-stop to Fluttershy about how she couldn't tell her what she did.

>>28074246
That just sounds like shit.

>>28073912
One of Aether's stories involved a little snippet with beta twilight who wanted to be anons "ally", went overboard for stallion rights, worse flame shirts, a sunhat(fedora), and "fingerless" hoof gloves

it was a scathing ironic critique, but it wasn't much better

>>28074274
It was the worst. They did that faggy thing that authors make their characters do when they don't know how to write relationships: he made them act incredibly familiar. They instantly hit it off and immediately acted like they had been great friends for years. They joked, poked fun at each other, and generally acted like they were made for each other. It was like I was reading "Harry x Female OC" author-insert Harry Potter fanfiction.

>>28074275
I want to read one story where Twilight doesn't have a stick up her ass and just acts like any other character; aka not terrible

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>>28073993
>"Art thou truly King Pendragone?"
>asked the midnight colored horse, eyes scowering you
>"he's got to be, I'd recognize him anyway m'lady," one of her guards injected animatedly, "I should know, he's the best and I recently bought a Pendragone action figure the other day ..."
>your eyes, and others, fall upon the guardsmare
>"f-for my niece, obviously." she finishes, her face carrying over a slight hint of embarrassment
>"verily," the largest pony replied, her eyes settling back upon you
"Uh,...yea, I say yea good mares. I am Artur Pendragone?"
>shit that shouldn't have sounded like a question
>the humie mare squeals with excitement only to stop as the others start to stare
>"Well, in that case allow us to then welcome you Equestria good lord. We are princess Luna, the younger of the diarchy who rule here," Blue horse, luna, gave a small dip of her head
"We thank you?"
>more confidence nigger, your in this shit now so might as well play along
"Yea, we thank you for this hospitality fair diarchy of Equestria."
>goddamm your gambeson was starting to get hot and muggy as fuck

>>28074084
>>28074091
want it need it

>"Hah! And in what world exactly is an old stallion like you gonna beat me at ANYTHING, let alone sports? Huh? Paint me that picture!" Dash says in her outside voice, gracing you with her cockiest smile.
>You can only smile in return, rotating your main-hand shoulder in an attempt to get you 60-something stiffness out while your off-hand tapped your baseball bat against the heel of your shoe.
"Oh yeah, yeah, I'll paint you a picture." you say gruffly, a hint of fun in your voice, "It'll be a real action-y, and the both of us'll be in it. Well, 'parts' of both of us, really. My foot and your ass."
>Assorted 'Oooo's break out from the three squirts in the peanut gallery behind you as well as the ponies in the outfield.
>Dash's smile only grows at this as she turns her body sideways, awaiting only your change in posture to let the ball fly.
>"You sure this is okay, Mr. Anon?" The pink party pony catcher behind you whispers through her cage mask, "Dashie always throws the ball way too hard, and I've never even SEEN you run before."
>You hunch a little, flashing her a single look before replying.
>Your voice calm, composed.
>"Ohh, don't you worry, sweetheart. I won't be running anywhere..."
>Seeing that you're ready, Dash winds back and serves the expected fastball with no further smack-talk, the small orb scream through the air for split second, muting the world around you.
>It's not easy, of course.
>Your eyesight isn't what it used to be, so you have to squint to get a proper baring of it.
>That's also not mentioning the small lag between your thoughts and your old muscle.
>Hell, she even throws pretty well for a tiny horse.

>>28072983
>2016
>not owning the Guy Fireri playset
What are you, a lesbian?

>>28074414
aw shit

>>28074414

>It doesn't stop you from smashing that baseball clear over everypony's heads and far into the field beyond the fence, striking the onlookers into a stunned silence.
"Ohh, lookie there! Looked like that went right over the fence, huh?!" you say with a ton of false surprise, dropping your bat and beginning your leisurely stroll around the diamond.
>Dash's expression is a mixture of satisfying surprise and embarrassment, and the heckling from the crusaders in the stands has already begun.
>"W-Woah! Dash's fastball just got CREAMED... and by that old gentlecolt!"
>The blue ponies face is absolutely burning, and she huffs loudly when you give her a little wave and continue you little shuffle.
>Her best shot today had taken her ball just just of hitting the fence, and apparently only Applejack has ever actually made it over.
>Until you, that is.
>You take your time looping around, giving each mare you pass on the bases a vindicated smile.
>You have to smile, of course.
>You twisted something REAL bad when you followed through, and your grin was the only thing stopping your face from flinching in pain after every almost-limping step.

One of my favorite moments in a [RGRE] NSFW pastebin was this following glorious typo:

(during a extremely lewd nsfw moment)
>She looked at anon with list in her eyes

could one of our resident drawfags/image macro gods please please please PLEASE draw this for me with that caption and a bedroom eye Twilight Sparkle?

godspeed you magnificent bastards

>>28074488
That was actually really good.

>>28074430
Goddammit Anon, that made me chuckle.

>"I can't believe they miscredited Guy Fireri as "Unnamed human wearing flame t-shirt"! He's so many ponies' favourite character!"
"Oh yeah? Whose?"
>Lyra sags under your judgmental gaze.
>"...mine."

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>>28073798
>“When you pry it from my cold dead hands.”
I love you so much.

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>>28074140
>you and Anon would be cuddling together just like in those neighponese
>Ponies have sex by hugging.

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>"Girls, I'm serious! If I cook, you'll all get feather flu!"
>"Just take some bits and get pizza, okay? And let me rest!"
>"Okay, Anon, they're gone!"
"Good. Welcome to the first meeting of the Ponyville Interdimensional Stallionist Society."

>>28074786

Why is it interdimensional?

>>28074810
Surely all stallions deserve freedom, even ones from other dimensions.

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>>28074401
>the following days were hellish paradise
>you had been taken to the castle of the diarchs, the other sister being Celestia
>weird name
>this, however, gave you an opportunity to learn about these ponies and their customs; not to mention that show
>as well as moderately disturbing headcanons
>then the court began
>and then the mares came
>famous mares, rich mares, royal mares, even a few knighted mares... all petitioning for a opportunity to court you
>Celestia, the douche suspended her own court and sat by for the proceedings of this all the while eating cake and occasionally scoffing at the spaghetti
>boredom was killing you
>I'll show you, I'll teach you to put me through this madness Celestia
>a fairly lean, pink, and pretty (by pone standards) prench mare was presenting her bid for your royal hoof
>then you saw it
>tulips, she brought tulips
>you sprang to your feet, hand freeing your sword from its sheath
"Thou filthy jackanape saracen! Did thy truly think thou could take me uncontested?!"
>I'm so sorry pretty pony, so sorry
>mild shock paints Celestia face, a few guardsmares look uneasy
>"w-what? Did ve offend you in some way? Z-zis vas not intended," she backs up slightly, fear taking hold
"A Frogge!? You dare try to court me! I demAND COMBAT!!!"
>Celestia chokes on her cake, starts to stand but it's too late
>your charging
>I'm so sorry pretty pony, SO sorry
>you over swing repeatedly, smashing past her and breaking vases, statues, even a table
>Celestia is floundering to get the cake out of her mouth
>the guards look about, worried and confused; this is your court and you may proceed however you wish
>some look apprehensive, like they'd like to voice a concern but they know better than to question the king

>>28074880
I love that mental image of Anon running, screaming, and smashing things while yelling "I'm sorry, pretty pony!" in his head.

>>28074838

>One of the stallions at he meeting is canon Shining Armor, who's just there to bitch about Cadence not letting him go partying with his friends
>The various RGRE Shinings are horrified at canon Shining's lack of interest concerning Flurry Heart

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>>28074926
"My Cadence is awful, guys! Awful! She promised to watch Flurry, but then some stupid yaks showed up shouting about 'war' and 'justice', and she wanted me to cancel my plans! She knew perfectly well that I was planning a spa trip with the boys, so I had to sneak out! Of my own home!"
>The other various Shining Armor's just look at him
>"Uh," His pegasus alternate says, "What about Flurry?"
"What about her? She's a mare, she can handle herself."
>Changeling Shining just stares. "Not a drop of love," He mutters, "Not even one."
>Male Cadence, from R63 RGRE, overhears the conversation while walking past
>"What?!" He screams, darting over to Canon Shining, "What have you done with my little boy?"
"Nothing! Some maid is probably taking care of her or something, I dunno!"
>Then Canon Shining was beaten to death by several alternate ponies, all of whom quickly rushed to the Crystal Empire to look after little Flurry

>Except for one, a gigantic white blob with tufts of blue hair
>Nopony thought it was alive, until it spoke
>"Mind hir pronouns, shitlords."

>>28075090
>"Mind hir pronouns, shitlords."

>ShitLORD
>Implying that only men can be shitlords
>TRIGGERED

>>28075150
"Actually, I'm a trans-condiment Mustard-kin, and you have triggered me."

>>28075173
I identify as Mario's lovechild with Sonic.

>>28075150
If someone identifies as a lord you have no right to complain.

Stop literally raping me.

Anon Smacking the shit out of annoying stallionists.

>"What do you mean you don't want to join our cause? Are you so brainwashed by the matriarc-"
>Smack

>>28075150
ShitLADY, thank you.

>>28075300
"Do you have ANY idea how good you have it?"
>"B-but sometimes mares look at me and it makes me uncomfo-"
>Smack

>>28075317
All the (You)'s in one post.
Thanks for making my dream come true Anon.
Now I can go in peace.

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>>28075300
>"Marespreading!"
>SMACK!
>"literally all mares are rapists!"
>SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!

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>>28075300
>>28075317
>>28075344
"this hurts me more than it hurts you."
>"I BUCKING DOUBT THAT ANON!"
"..."
>"NO! NO! NOT THE FACE!"

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>>28075344
>>28075374
>mfw

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>>28074569
It's too early in the morning, just woke up, fun typo, tried to make it in 5 mins, don't have time to clean it up, need to sleep now, you can make green out of that, something something rgre enough...

http://imgur.com/a/CGdIf

>>28075399
Requester here
thank you based pencil

>>28074880
Fucking fantastic.

>>28073867
twilot should always be the villain, she's perfect for the role

>>28075399
Make... bear eyes?

>>28075733
she's perfect for panicking, jumping to conclusions, and overreacting

but it gets old if she never learns

>>28075785
bedr...

bedroom eyes

>>28075733
>Anon is thought to be a villain by the ponies.
>Twilight is tasked with dealing with the "Evil alien king who has taken over Ponytown".
>She falls for Anon and decides to become a villain to win his love.
>Anon is just a normal guy trying to cope with being in a whole new world.
>Ponies just keep deciding his lawnmover is a doomsday device or his vegetable patch are chemical weapons.
>Twilight is terrible at being evil.
>Anon doesn't even notice she's trying to be evil.
>He's just happy she isn't running away like the rest of the ponies.
>Anon knows they're sapient and having them all refuse to have anything to do with him felt kinda bad.

>>28075785
Full in the link

*bedr(oom) eyes

>>28075872
yes YES

MOAR

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>>28072132
If it helps me take over Equestria.

>>28069549
Need more this. Or even Ponies just talking about Stallions having "stripe-feaver" off handedly.

Another topic/idea thingy
>Anon goes to the market to buy eggs.
>When he tells a pony this, it's considered the lewdest thing he has ever said.

One more
>While at court with the other races, Celestia is respect and feared for having the only weapon of mass vaginal distruction.
>The HMD.
>Changelings try to kidnap Anon to recreate the HMD as they have been trying in secret but have failed because Anon wears pants.
>Something something RGRE
>Maybe Bon-Bon has been secretly protecting Anon this whole time.

>>28075872
"L-lord Nameless! I checked out an anatomy book from the library months ago, and it is overdue!"
> Lord Nameless turns his relentless gaze upon you
> You shiver, worrying that you are too good for him, when he clearly wants a...
> Bad pony, at his side
"Don't you run the library? You'd just be paying the late fee to yourself, so as long as you know where the book is, it should be okay."
> Not pay the late fee?
> Use your position to b-buck the rules?
> Truly, Lord Nameless is a master of evil and corruption
"You're right, I can keep the book on monkey anatomy as long as I want and nopony can stop me! Ehaheehaheheehee!"
> You've been practicing your evil laugh
> Lord Nameless grins malevolently and ruffles your mane
> In public!
> You blush at the lewd reward, tingling as you realise you are breaking another rule
> "Never change, book whores."
> What?
> You mean, you do love books
> But not that way!
> Mostly
> Just your favorite ones
> Cuddling up to the comprehensive dictionary at night
> How did he know?
> Lord Nameless is truly a mastermind beyond the reach of ponykind

>>28076185
:)

>>28076210
>Emoji
Kill yourself.

>>28076265
>calling a smiley an emoji
>using the word emoji unprovoked

>>28076265
No U

>>28076185
I love it, just one thing, this prompt belongs in AiE.
This thread is an RGRE thread, Anon needs to be discriminated against.

>>28076598
of coures he's discriminated against. He's the Evil King, but ponies only take him to the the Evil Queen. Of the pair, they consider Twilight to be the real monster, while he's just along for the ride. Honestly, they probably think she's forcing him to be evil, forgetting how they thought he was evil long before Twilight started copying him.

>>28076598
Nothing belongs in AiE
AiE must die
Non-RGRE Equestria must be shunted into a fetish thread on /trash/
We will not rest until /mlp/ is RGRE
And get back to the fields, colt.

>>28076622
>We will not rest until /mlp/ is RGRE
>And get back to the fields, colt.
Are you sure your not from slave? Because that would be the mare in the field, not colts.

>>28076622
Funny thing, when I first found RGRE, I binged so hard I expected girls to open the door for me.
It was good,
Until I remembered how the real world worked

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>>28076622
>And get back to the fields, colt.
Love it.

>>28076598
Pony adventurers come to fight Anon, to try and oust him from his underground cavern!

They're completely unsurprised when he isn't wearing armour, because he's only male, so of course he wouldn't be a close combat fighter - and everyp0ne knows that cloth doesn't hinder the use of mana.

Then he beats them black and blue, and they're all confused. except Celestia. She's jealous, because she's into coltdom

>>28076652
>coltdom
kek

>>28076632
>mare in the fields
If mares take over all the simple jobs, the colts will have nothing to do and become fat.
Simple jobs - like pulling a plow or a cart - are a perfect fit for a simple colt.

>>28076656
Then what do we have secretary's for? We need eye candy.

>It's just nice to be able to put something like this on in the great town of ponyville because ponyville, Really stallion just don't do anything, I've Lived here all my life. I don't know what the deal is, there's not a lot of activity.

Sign Anon

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>>28076661
So what's stopping you from getting a competent, hot mare for the position?
What are you, a mono or smth?

>>28076684
I think your just RGRE gay then, or your not getting the point. But whatever, goodnight folks.

>>28076689
>>28076684
WHY DON’T WE JUST SHIP EVERYONE THEN?

>>28076689
Mine is getting your point.
But you don't want a non-competent secretary.
If your cunt just needs to be moist all the time - buy a humidor for your office ffs, but don't hire an incompetent secretary.

If your luck is sush that you can find a hot, competent stallion - don't hire him.
Horsemarry him.Then, maybe, hire him.

>>28074182
quick summary to what happened ?

im curious...

>>28073993
>Alternative: Anon is actual no shit courtly love Renaissance Knight.
>Mares and Anon continuously try to out m'lord and m'lady each other
>Mares frustrated by being treated like colts amp their game in manners and kid gloves
>Anon, surrounded by what appear to be proper ladies, is honor bound not to put out
>Oh shit princess trapped in castle by (tiny) dragon
>Really strange RGRE ensues

I kinda like where this could go.

>>28076875
Nothing unexpected. Someone made a thread in the times before mods started to clean "rp threads" with distressed RD and text similar to:
"Ha-ha, Anon, that was an awesome prank! My best one with stormcloud! You wiggled so silly!.. Anon? Anon... C'mon, that's not funny. Anon...?"
People flooded it with random ideas and greens about Anon trying to hide from her or trying to explain to her that hoomans cannot into cartoon physics (quess what, she did not cared, Z-z-zap!) or getting help from panicked RD who realised her mistake or just fucking with Dash for all her pranks and faking that lightning strike out and etc and etc. It simply run out of ideas and greens even before the first thread hit the bump limit. I can try and search for it in the archives but you can get the picture

>>28076915
looks more like its fits in AiE rather being in its own thread

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>>28074140
Don't you dare stop.
I-if it's okay with you

how about anon being a super dad? or super babysitter

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qoQssWPRNR0

anon is capable of saving his kids from harm almost at a pinkie sense level
twilight tries to study this phenomenon

feeling pinkie keen shenanigans happen again

>>28077018
>Twilight tries to put his kids in harm's way to get a controlled measurement
>Anon succeeds and immediately goes over to whoop up Piggy bacause what the fuck
>"I haven't thought this through"

>>28073858
I like the idea that gender roles were reversed that long ago. Fucking yaks tried to make their enemies weak by making them rgr, but they got hit hard and first with it dooming them to never being able fulfill the plan. All the while, changelings look on with the most exaggerated 'what the fuck is this shit face' possible.

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>>28075090

>Canon Cadence's reaction when she sees all these different versions of Shining taking care of Flurry Heart.
>All those stallions for her

>>28077249
>by making them rgr
That is borderline hypnosis-tfshit
Why can't horses be naturally matriarchal?
They basically almost are IRL.
Then, being the nation with the Sun Goddess, they extend their influence over the other hooved races.

>>28077251
>Gleaming Shield is appalled and 'rescues' Flurry
>Trains her to be the nimble warrior princess that she is supposed to be.

>>28077278
Headcanon here

First because you have 1 ruler 1000 years out of date and unless you want to go full saudi arabia or make her insufferable, it's there's little wiggle room.

Second, you have a civilization 1000 years out of date, same problem as above but on a society wide level.

What I like is that for a long time, genderoles shifted one way and the other every few hundred years, till yaks imported a sjw brand fervor to the gender rolls. Celestia didn't realize what was going on till all her guards were female. Then you have the real world groups which advocate the death of males, or their abortion out right, so what if in pony society with magic a group like that got hold of power and made it so males weren't born. That is something celestia herself stamped right the fuck out, but the damage is done, a gender disparity of around 7 to 1, is where it evened out too. All the bullshit that happened is also why the world is so incredibly soft.

Third, but that's just how they are doesn't explain ponies like mac and aj, largely doing the same job from the same parents, only difference is sex, but mac can drag a fucking house. This alone points to males are stronger, but why are males not doing the heavy lifting jobs? Unless you want to make them do the bitch work along with taking all the shit.

This is why I like the idea of rgr wasn't always the way, and an outside influence shifted it for good.

>>28077350
>why are males not doing the heavy lifting jobs?
Not the guy you responded to, but...

Because they can. And sort of have to. I mean, the farm is a labour of love from a single family - they could do more if they used fancy dancy things like magic to pluck the apples or something, but for whatever reason, AJ doesn't want that.

So Mac's strength is put to work being strong. But in any situation where mares could do it, they do. We don't see much of a discrepency between the sexes for magical strength in canon, just like we wouldn't in general intelligence IRL.

But women would look after the home, because it was safer, and because they didn't have to work - it was possible to support a family with just the men working.

And in cases where that wasn't the case?

The women would work too - think of council estates. Sure, some are on the dole. But a lot of the women will work, maybe in a chippy, or a hair salon, or whatever. The ability to have a house-spouse belongs to middle class and up, those that can afford to live off a single salary.

>>28075872
>Anon chases out annoying mares that keep breaking in with vacuum cleaner
>Pones completely nope the fuck out like cats
>Elements of harmony unable to stop whirring machine of death
>Something something rgre

>>28077436
Anon decided to prank rainbow dash with the handheld vacuum. Ponies never saw it used so don't know what it is. Anon waits for rainbow dash to go on about how she is the bravest, takes out the vacuum and gets her tail.

>>28075785
Requesting the exact same picture only with grizzly bears in her eyes

>>28072132
Absolutely. I want to be the desirable one for once.
>tfw your smile will never make a mare feel butterflies in her stomach

>>28077542
Why not beer eyes? /r/ that! (what? I'm not the only drawfag here, right? Right?..)

>>28076185
>>28076314
>"Oh! Oh, h-hello, Anonymous! I was j-just getting some private, late-night reading done! Yep, I sure wasn't going to caress the pages delicately or rub the book's ribbed spine across my vagina."

>>28077581
Since BGF left, there was, I think, one guy besides you and me (did a variant of Bombshell?).

And I don't count.

>>28077484
>"NO PLEASE STOP I'M SORRY"
At that point she starts confessing to all sorts of things she did to Anon/Anon's underwear that he had no idea she had done

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IT'S FRIDAY, MUTHAFUCKAS

WHAT ARE YOU
>WRITAN
>READAN
>LISTENAN
>PLAYAN

>>28078091
Stories and a DnD game
Stories
Nothing
The write stories and adventures game

>>28078193
Kekus Maximus

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>>28078193
>Not Celestia

>>28078271
>Not Flurry Horn

>>28078271
Would that be considered porn in equestria?

>>28078271
Breezies using a alicorn horn to pole dance when?

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>>28078340
Magical unicorn mayo. Production is increased if the mare is pregnant.

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>>28078091
Storyboard for a planned long ago secret animation related to My Little Persona (S.L.A.M.) CYOA
Nothing
Nothing
Nothing

'CAUSE IT'S FRIDAY!

>>28078340
>Mare on mare
Ew, sis, that's ghay

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>>28078397
Teats are not touching so it's not gay.

>>28078091
>That one Pie story I have for this thread
>Dragonlance series
>Youtube videos to get voices in the background
>Factorio, obsessively

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>Be Lyra
>Otherwise known as secret agent mint green harp pone
>You were on a mission
>A dangerous mission where, if you weren't careful, the result of failure would end in very bad things
>You had to be stealthy
>You had to be like the wind
>You had to be--
>"For Celestia's sake, Lyra, will you stop rolling around like that? You're going to knock something over."
>You paused in the middle of one of your patented super-secret art of rolling around on the ground while you covered your eyes to look up at an annoyed Bonbon and Roseluck
>They were both giving you that look
>You know the one
>The What-are-you-doing-filly-I-can't-believe-that-I'm-you're-friend-for-Celestia's-sake look
>While such a look would have made your snozzle scrunch this time you overlooked it
>It wasn't their fault that they weren't super ninja's like you
>They didn't have a ninja way. Believe it
"I'm not going to knock anything over," you told them, rolling onto your back and kicking your hoofsies. "I'm just being sneaky."
>With a tired sigh, Bonbon walked over and pulled you to your hooves
>"Ever since we got in here you've been rolling around like a crazy pony, Lyra."
>You nodded
"Yep, and because I've been doing that Anon doesn't know that we're in his house."
>"Anon doesn't know we're in his house because he isn't IN his house," Roseluck sing-songed
>Your muzzle scrunched up as you looked over at her
>...
>You keep smiling filly...
>The second that muh ninja powers awaken...
>How shaking her head, Bonbon nudged you
>"Come on. Let's go and look at this glowing box thing that you keep talking about before Anon gets back."
"It's called a com-poo-turn, Bonnie," you said with a little wiggle

>>28078742
>Bonnie's nose scrunched up
>"Just show us where the thing is so we can look at Anon's "dirty" pictures."
>You heard the sarcasm in her voice
>But you didn't say anything
>You knew that Bonbon didn't believe that Anon had any dirty magazines or picture cut-outs
>Colts didn't have that sort of stuff, she had insisted, especially a pure as the driven snow stallion like Anon
>And she was right
>Anon didn't have dirty magazines or pictures that he had hidden under his mattress or in his sock drawer where he kept his unmentionables
> You know. You looked
>He had all of that stuff on that glowing box that he had set up in his bedroom
>You had gotten Anon to show you a whole bunch of stuff on it, from his weird humey movies to weird articles and pictures of humey world animals
>And one day, as the two of you were looking through his computer, you noticed a "foil" that he wouldn't click on
>When you asked him about it he did that colty thing where he tried to change the subject but, you being the marely mare that you were, had bothered him about it until he carried you out of his house
>Though you didn't actually know what the "Not Porn" foil held in it you had a feeling that it was going to hold what you had been looking for since Anon's house had landed in the empty lot beside your house
>You wanted to see weird alien porn
>You always wanted to see what a human women looked like without any clothes on
>Anon had told you that they had these big ol' teats on their chest but you didn't believe him
>Why would they be there when it made so much more sense to have them on your tummy?
>How would the baby humey even suck on its mommy's teats?
>Would it have to climb up the mommy's leg, or would the mommy have to get down on all fours?
>It was nonsense
>Nonsense you say
>...
>BUT, even so, you wanted to see it
>So you had brought your naysayer best sis and Roseluck, along with her sisters, who were keeping watch outside, so you could prove them wrong

>>28078792
>You'd show them that Anon had dirty pictures on his com-poo-turn, you'd prove Bonnie wrong, and you'd get to see naked human mares n-no homo
>It'd be a win-win for everypony involved
>"Now, are you sure that you know how to use Anon's magical box thingy?" Rosey asked as you led her and Bonny upstairs. "I don't want him coming home to see that we accidently broke the thing."
"Don't worry about it," you said with a wave of your hoof. "I've watched Anon use it enough to know what I'm doing."
>Probably
>"Are you SURE?" Bonny asked, giving you a meaningful look
>You nodded
"Yep, I'm positive."
>Ninety percent positive
>Maybe eighty-five
>But that was still pretty good
>After checking Anon's bedroom door for any boobytraps, since you were a ninja and ninja's had to look out for that sort of thing, you threw open the door and walked in like you owned the place
>Anon's bedroom was like it always was
>Clean, neat, the bed was made and their wasn't a single article of clothing on the floor unfortunately, and it smelled like stallion
>In the corner of the room there was a plain little wooden desk with a black wheely chair right next to it
>And on that desk was Anon's com-poo-turn
>Whoo!
>It looked like it was one already!
>AWESOME!
>Making happy mint hores/ninja noises, you trotted over to the desk and hopped into the chair
>Your two friends were a bit slower making their way toward the desk
>They were nervous, looking around as they stayed close to the ground
>Silly fillies
>Your ninja senses would tell you if anypony else was in the room
>And, since they weren't going off, that meant that you were a-okay

>>28078824
>"So how do we get this thing to work?" Bonny asked, poking her head over the top of the desk as you scooted forward. "Do we need to say some sort of password or..."
"Nope" you chirped, getting comfortable. "All I gotta do is use this moose--"
>You tapped the little plastic hickey next to the letter typer
"--and it's clicky thing and we can get a'looking."
>"And you're SURE that you know where Anon keeps his pictures on this thing?" Rosey asked, leaning up on the desk to get a better look
"Yep! Now watch me work my magic ladies!"
>Grabbing the moose, you dragged it to the little white flag thing and used the clicky bit
>A screen popped up, and underneath that there was a space where you could type letters using the letter typer
>Which led you to your first problem
>The letters on the letter typer were small
>You couldn't use them with your hooves, and while you were looking into jutsu that would give you a pair of hoof spiders of your own that was still a long ways away from coming to fruition
>But you had a plan
>A stroke of genius that would overcome this daunting obstacle
>Your horn glowed, and with a spell you grabbed two pencils and some tape from the desk
>Putting the pencils on your hooves you then taped them up, securing them
>"Will you hurry up, Lyra? Anon could get back at any minute."
"Shush. I'm painting muh masterpiece."
>"It's just tape and some pen--"
"SHUSH!"
>You slowly brought one of the pencils toward the letter typer
>Sticking your tongue out, you pressed the N button
>Come on baby...
>Work; work for momma...
>Your eyes darted to the screen as you pressed down on the letter
>...
>And there it was!
>There, in the little box, was an N
>And above that box it showed everything in Anon's computer that started out with the letter

>>28078863
>HAH!
>SUCK IT EVOLUTION!
>Giving Bonny a grin, which she rolled her eyes to, the sourpuss, you began to type out the rest of the letters
>O, P, O, R, N
>Usually, the more letters of something that was written you'd be able to see it on the findy box easier
>But, for some reason or another, you didn't see the No porn foil until you had typed all of the letters and pressed the enter key
>"Did you guys hear that?" Rosey asked, looking over her shoulder
>You quickly shook your head, not moving your gaze from the screen
"Nope. I didn't hear anything."
>Bonbon, with a frown on her face, also looked over her shoulder
>"Why? What did you hear?" she asked
>Rosey, with a frown on her face, shrugged
>"I don't know," she huffed, blowing a bit of mane out of her face. "I just thought I heard... something."
>Tearing off one of the pencils, you quickly grabbed the moose and dragged it over to the foil
>It looked like it was one of those zipped foils that Anon had showed you once
>They were kind of a pain when you wanted to look at a lot of pictures really fast but Anon had also taught you how to turn them back into regular foils
>Leaning forward, you double clicked it
BANG!
>Both Bonnie and Rosey jumped
>"What the buck was that?!" Bonbon whisper-shouted. "Rose, weren't your sister's supposed to signal us if Anon was coming home?"
>A frown came to your face as a little box popped up on the screen
//Are you sure that you wish to open this file?//
//Yes No//
>"Yeah! That's what they told me. They're supposed to be out there right now!"
>"Then what the HAY was that?!"
>It's FOIL, you silly magical box
>And yes, you'd very much like to open it
>...Please

>>28078893
>Dragging the moose toward the yes, you clicked it
BANG!
>"Is that... is that coming from the bucking closet?!"
>"What is that glowing?! What's making that noise?!"
//Are you sure?//
//Yes No//
>You snorted
>Of course you were sure!
>You wouldn't have clicked on the yes button if you weren't sure!
>Stop stalling magical machine!
>Reveal to me your lewd secrets!
>Your eyes narrowed as you once again dragged the clicker toward the yes button
>You could heard Bonnie saying something as she grabbed your side but you ignored her
>He had porn on this com-poo-turn and you were going to see all of it
>ALL. OF. IT.
>You clicked the button again
>For a moment the room became unnaturally silent
>The sun, which had been shining through the window, flickered like a candle
>The air grew colder and it felt like some... THING was in the room with you
>Something bad
>You shivered as you felt something slide down your side, something wet and slimy and that smelled like the ocean
//Alright//
//Don't say that I didn't warn ya//

>>28078904
>Be Caramel
>It was another horsetastic day
>You and just gotten your paycheck, the cute mare that you had been talking to finally asked you out on a date, and you had even managed to take your ol' buddy Anon out to lunch
>It was just the two of you, come tea and cakes, and some good conversation
>You really wished for more nice little days like this
>No drama, no horse apples, just you and a good buddy who you could gossip with
>And sweet Celestia above did you LOVE to gossip
"So I said, "Boy, I ain't pla--"


L̒̽҉̸̹̘̝̘̩̗̪-̤̜͍ͩ̀̈̅̔̀͢͡Ḷ̖͑͋̅̌ͬ͐e̦̙͙̞̾̅̔̽͌̄̏͟w̳͚͎̬̰ͫͩ̕d̸͎̲̻͔̾
̸̸̺͙͉̼ͮ̆͊́̓
̶͈̫̖̥̅̃̾̏


"RGTbindlfndlk!"
>Spitting out a mouthful of double concentrate, lemon Earl Grey, you yelped as every hair on your body stood on end
>Wide-eyed, you quickly looked over your wither
"What the bu--efkjndelknlk!"
>In your haste to find whatever the BUCK was making that noise you looked back a little too quickly and lost your balance
>Freaked out and now off balance, you flailed a bit, trying your hardest to regain your ba--
"OMPH!"
>You grunted as you fell face first into the dirt, your rump sticking high up into the air
>...
>10/10
>You did it colt
>Now freaked out and dizzy AND embarrassed, you quickly scrambled to your hooves
"What the hay was that?! Anon did you hear that? What was that?!"
>Poking your head over the table you saw that your human chum was calmly sipping his head, an eyebrow raised
>You could see him looking off into the distance as he swallowed and set his cup down
>"That little turd went on my computer without asking me, didn't she?" he muttered with a frown
>His nose went full scrunch mode as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a couple of bits
>"I bet you she was looking for my porn too. How the heck did she even get onto it? She'd need to use the keyboard and..."
>Keyboards?
>Porn?

>>28078930
>What the hay was Anon talking about?!
>Before you could properly process what was happening, Anon had placed his bits on the counter and was on his feet
>"Give me like five minutes, Caramel. I gotta go see what my silly neighbor's have gotten herself into."
>You watched as Anon then began to wal--
>HOLYSHITWHATWASWRONGWITHTHEBUCKINGSKY?!
>"She better not have deleted anything... That collection's fucking one of a kind..."
>You tore your gaze from the sky to see your humey friend making his way down the street
"A-Anon wait!" you shouted. "Where are you g-going? Get back here a-and let somepony else handle it. A-Anon?!"
>Anon didn't stop his walking, which left you in a difficult position
>Did you stay here and let whatever the BUCK was going on solve itself?
>Or did you go with your friend like any good bro would?
>...
>Your nose scrunched up as you looked down at your tea
>Your expensive, imported tea that was still half full
>...
>Buck...
"A-Anon! Wait for me!"
>Leaping over your chair, and almost eating shit when one of your hooves slapped against the top of it, you ran after your big green friend
>Above you it looked like somepony had cracked the sky
>The numerous, spider web-like cracks covered all that you could see
>There was a blackness peeking through those cracks
>A blackness that hurt your eyes to look at
>When you looked at it it almost felt like something was... trying to pull you into it...
>Tearing your gaze from the ruined sky with a shudder, you looked down the street
>This was a route that you had walked many times
>It was the way to Anon's nice little two story house
>Though it might have looked a little... victorian for your taste it was the perfect fit for your big friend
>Said big friend was looking toward his house with a frown
>It was the kind of frown that he wore whenever he brought the spray bottle out...
>Curling into yourself you said nothing as the two of you turned the corner

>>28078998
>There, not half a block away was Anon's house
>...
"Oh my sweet Celestia..."
>You stopped in your tracks
>Something had surrounded Anon's house
>Long and black, it wrapped around his house like a thorn bush
>This black, unnatural, fearful substance didn't appear to be coming from anywhere
>Upon closer inspection you notice, to your horror, that whatever was around Anon's house was a... living object
>You could see it pulse and sway and ooze a foul smelling black oily substance
>It was just there, surrounding the house like a pack of wolves surrounded a wounded buck, moving as it guided by a breeze
>As you gazed upon this now and forever more damned house a overwhelming fear seized you
>You animal instincts, the lowest of your brain's functions, roared at you to flee, to get away from this otherworldly mass that smelled of the deepest parts of the sea and rotting fish
>But it was as if something was holding you there
>You could feel maddness gnawing at the edges of your psyche, stealing your senses and--
>"Hey! Bad vines! BAD!"
>You could see Anon marching forward his house, seemingly unaffected by all of this BUCKING HORSE APPLES
>In the front yard you could see that some of the black, eel-like vines had come up from the ground
>In their clutches were Lily and Daisy, both of whom were completely out cold
>...
>Hopefully they were just out cold
>"Bad vines! BAD! What did I say about messing up my yard?!"
>Walking up onto his porch Anon grabbed a broom
>Hefting it threateningly, he marched off his porch, walked over to the vines wrapped around the two mare's unmoving forms, and began smacking them
>"Bad! BAD! You go home right now! Go home right now and leave my yard alone! BAD! Bad Vines!"
>To your immense surprise the vines seemed to reel back with each of Anon's strikes
>Anon, brow furrowed, followed them, swinging his broom all the while

>>28078824
>not always locking your computer when you're out of the room

>>28079038
>Whatever was holding you in place released you as the vines quickly disappeared into the ground, leaving both Lily and Daisy lying on the lawn
>With a gasp, you stumbled forward, your head aching and with a thin sheen of sweat all over your body
>You had to get away
>You had to warn everypony
>This was no joke
>These things were--
>"Hey Caramel, come over here and help me with these two please!"
>...
>Buck...
>He said please...
>...
>Curse your good manners...
>Though everything in your body was telling you to hightail it the other way, you trotted toward Anon and his super crazy house
>Walking onto his lawn you saw that he had both Lily and Daisy on their backs
>Both mares appeared to be breathing, thank Celestia
"A-Anon, do you t-think we should m-maybe get o-out of here?" you asked, nervously looking up at his house.
>With a grunt, Anon picked Lily up a bit and began to tap her cheek with a hand
>"Nah, everything's fine. If one of those vines give you any problems just hit them a couple of times with the broom," he advised. "They don't like that too much. Now come on little flower horse. It's time to get up. Time to wakey-wakey."
>It took a little bit of patience and elbow grease, and by elbow grease you meant slapping, but eventually you saw Lily stir
>The mare's face contorted and she began thrashing as if in the middle of some horrible nightmare
>"He's the keeper of the gate," you could hear her murmur, fear etched in her tone. "He's the key. He's the one that watches all. We cannot hide from his many eyes. He is all--OW!"
>Lily's body twitched as Anon reeled back one of his hands and BITCH SLAPPED that filly
>Her eyes snapped open and she reared up, nearly headbutting the human in the process
>"WHO?! WHAT?!"
>She looked up at Anon's house
>"WHAT THE BUCK IS ALL OF THAT?!"

>>28079073
>Tenderly rubbing Lily's cheek, which already had a red mark forming on it, Anon pulled the hysterical mare against him
>"There we go!" he chirped as he reached over and grabbed the still unconscious Daisy. "Now let's get the two of you inside. After I see what the hell's going on upstairs I'll wake your sister up and I'll give you both some juice."
>"B-But that vines, and, and the--"
>"Some nice cold orange juice will fix the two of you right up!"
>Standing up with the mares in tow, Anon made his way onto his porch
>"Hey Caramel, could you be a dear and open the door for me?"
>Your eyes darted up t-toward the v-vines
>...
>W-Were those eyes?
>Did t-those vines had mou--


Ǵ̩͍̺̻̺̰̮͇̇ͮ̕͟eͮ̓̑̋͗ͩ͏̫̱̭̝̺̭͇t̺͖̳̣͔̔ ̨͖͍̖̱̰̣ͮ̿̍̑͊̈́̀̚o̼̤ͣ̓͆ͫ̾ͩ̀ͅu̶̫̭ͨͭ́ͫ̆ͪ̋̽̚ẗ̡̗̼͎̥́ͯͧ͐͛̑ͬ͡


"THEIRnekjbk!"
>You charged toward the porch, reaching down and grabbing Anon's broom
>Gottagetawaygottagetawaygottagetaway!
>Running past the human, you threw open the door
>Gottagofastgottagofastgottagofast!
>You ran though Anon's living room and into his kitchen wild-eyed
>To your relief you saw nothing spooky there
>It was just a plain old completely normal kitchen
>...
>You were safe
>SAFE
>Panting, you fell to the floor with a smile on your face, just happy to be alive
>"Hey, if you want any juice I'd be more than happy to give you a glass too, big guy," your human pal said, walking into the kitchen
>You could hear Lily babbling about big-bads and never-seers and a bunch of horse apples like that but you barely listened to her
>Sneaking a peek up at Anon you saw that he still looked okay
>Like seeing mind-shredding vines with eyes and mouths was an everyday thing with him
"A-Anon," you whispered, shaking like a leaf. "What's going on? W-What are t-those things?"
>Setting the mares down at his table, Anon gave you a carefree smile

>Pinkie uses the cloning pool thing for the sole purpose of making Anon her colt

>>28079105
>"Oh don't worry about it," he said with a wave of his hand. "It's nothing."
>...Nothing?
>NOTHING?!
>WHAT THE BUCK WAS HE TALKING ABOUT?!
>HE COULDN'T CALL WHAT WAS OUTSIDE NO--"
"W-Wait! Where are y-you going, A-Anon?!"
>"I'm going up to my room for a second, Caramel," Anon said as he made his way out of the kitchen. "I'll just be a second. Get something from my fridge if you're thirsty."
>You looked around the kitchen
>Daisy was loudly snoring and Lily appeared to be talking backwards, her eyes staring at something on the table that wasn't there
>...
"A-Anon, wait for me!"
>Running out of the kitchen, you turned the corner and raced up the stairs after your human pal
>With each step you took you could hear whispers in languages that you couldn't even begin to understand
>A weight began pressing down on your body and you could feel bile coming to your throat
>Upon making it to the top of the stairs you could see Anon standing in the middle of the hallway with his hands on his hips
>The hallway was pitch black you noticed
>It was an uncomfortable darkness, a hungry, bleak blackness that wanted to swallow everything
>In this darkness you could see figures moving, shifting, twisting and elongating
>The whispers were even louder, and it felt like there was a great weight bearing down on your body
>You could smell the ocean here; the smell of salt and water and dead things that would never--
>"They didn't even bother closing the door," Anon said to himself, shaking his head before he began walking toward the partially opened door at the end of the hall. "Lyra! You better not be in there!"
>Heart pounding in your chest, you raced after the human, pressing yourself tightly against his side
>Everythingwasgoingtobealright
>Anonsaidyouweregoingtobeokaysothatmeantyouweregoingtobeokay
>Youjustneededtostaycalmcolt
>Don'tfreakout!
>...
>SWEETCELESTIAYOUWEREGOINGTODIE!

>>28079139
Have you been playing some Darkest Dungeon or something?

>>28079139
>A whimper escaped your throat as the door swung open by it's own power
>Entering the room you you noticed that the darkness was most concentrated here
>But there was a light that the darkness would not devour
>It was pale, artificial light which allowed you to see Anon's entire bedroom
>You could see Roseluck sitting in the corner of the room, rocking back and forth
>You could also see Bonbon struggling against some of the veins with a look of exasperated frustration/irritation on her face
>You could also see the silhouette of a mare that was sitting in front of whatever was making the li--
>"None of that," Anon said, slapping a hand over your eyes. "Some things you aren't meant to see, little pone."
>Giving your head a pat, Anon made his way over to the light and toward the mare, whose tail was wagging back and forth happily
>"Lyra," he called
>The mare in the chair, at least you think she was sitting in a chair, stiffened before turning around
>"Oh... hello, Anon!" she chirped nervously. "We were just, um..."
>Leaning over, Anon took something out of the mare's hooves
>You could hear clicking
>...
>You blinked as static filled your ears
>...
>Blinking again, you saw that the darkness, the voices, the moving shadows, even the vines that Bonbon was fighting against were gone
>...
>Everything...
>Everything was back to normal?
>...
>How?
>As you stood there, flabbergasted, Anon crossed and arms and stared down at Lyra Heartstrings
>"What did I tell you about messing with my computer, Harpy?" he asked
>Lyra sunk into the swivel chair slightly, her ears pinning themselves against the sides of her head

>>28079161
>"...Don't go on it when you're not here," she said with a sad flick of her tail
>"And what did I say about looking at my no porn file?"
>Lyra sunk a bit more into her chair as Bonbon, who was lying belly up on the ground with a dazed look in her eyes, groaned
>"...Don't look at it."
>Anon stared down at the unicorn for a few moments before a smile came to his face
>"...You know, I might not be very happy with you but I gotta say that I admire your gumption."
>Lyra looked up at him hesitantly
>"I'm sorry, Anon. It's just that I wanted to see human mare's teats and..."
>Still smiling, Anon patted her on the head
>"Hey, don't worry about it. Bonbon, you alright over there."
>"Buck... off..."
>...
>You know, THAT was why Bonbon couldn't get a stallion...
>Giving the candy mare a frown you turned back to Lyra and Anon, both of whom were smiling at each other
>Now that the darkness was gone and everything was back to normal you could see that Lyra's eyes were bloodshot
>It looked like the mare hadn't blinked or slept in days
>...
>Leaning down, Anon picked her up
>"So did you at least get a good look at everything you wanted to see?" he asked as she giggled, kicking her hoofsies playfully
>"Yep!" she said with a happy nod. "I got to see everything!"
>For a moment her eyes glazed over
>"...EVERYTHING..."
>"Well fantastic!" Anon said. "Now how about we get all of you downstairs and get some juice in y--"
"What the buck was that?!"
>You could see... something peering over Anon's bed
>It looked like a...
>A...
>A skull...

>you will never summon unspeakable creatures from the darkest depths of the four corners of the earth by simply opening your notporn folder.
Just kill me now

>>28079187
>Anon crained his neck a bit
>"Oh, those are just skeletons," she casually said as two more skulls poked over the bed to look at you. "Don't worry about them. They're more afraid of you than you are of them."
>...
>That's EXTREMELY debatable
>...
>Wait
"W-What are they doing here?" you asked, looking over at him fearfully as he walked over and picked up Roseluck
>Anon shrugged, hefting the flower mare
>"Whenever I want to "relieve" a little stress those little guys just sit there and watch me."
>Your eye twitched as, from the other side of the bed, three skeletons began to chatter spookily
>...
>...
>...
>Wait...
"And you... "relieve" yourself with them watching?"
>Anon said nothing as he made his way over to you
>You could see a smile on his face
>And, while this was the same smile that you usually saw him wear, this one was... different
>It made you... leery, nervous...
>Scared
>You stiffened a bit as he leaned down
> Don't ask questions that you don't want the answer to, Caramel.

>>28079194
I know that feel.
>your computer will never be an eldritch portal into the unmentionable void where unspeakable horrors lay in wait

>>28079194
This is why you never label your porn as "not porn". The paradox rips reality apart and garners the attention of those who have long forgotten about us.

>>28079161
>>28079211
>2spooky

>>28078091
Nothing
Green
LPs
new Monster Hunter

>>28079320
green wen?

>>28078091
Can't do that
Can't do that
Can't do that
Can't do that
Northern cal is a fun place for freediving, but damn, the wifi sucks.

>>28079137
>Twilight uses teleportation magic to open a portal to alt-Equestria
>The main difference is that she and Anon are a loving couple
>She only gets a few seconds to see into the alternate universe, and she extrapolates the details she observed to try and figure out how to get Anon in THIS universe
>She gets the gist of the observations right, but defeats herself from the start by putting a terribly sexist slant on what she saw.
>eg she sees flowers everywhere around the house and thinks this means that she should be buying Anon flowers (colts LOVE flowers) as a gift. In reality, Alt-Twi and Alt-Anon have a flower garden and working on it together help bring them closer

>>28079211
>Be me
>Be at a bar with muh friends
>We're talking, laughing, joking, all of that good shit
>After a few shots our conversation somehow turns into porn
>My buddies start saying what they like
>Blowjob vids, girl-on-girl, etc
>One of my buddies nudges my shoulder
>"I bet Anon here is into some weird shit."
>As my friends being chuckling I remember all of the horse porn on my computer
>All
>Of
>It
>Look down at my crown royal, weakly chuckle, and begin to sweat loudly


And that's how I got the idea for this fic. I'm done by the way

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>>28079400
Just what did Anon stored in there?

>>28079413
Ponies and humans cuddling

>>28079477
>Irredeemable

>>28079413
mr skeltal pinups
Thanks mr skeltal

>>28079502
What would go under Fallen?
Hoofholding and bellyrubs?

>>28079477
Pony's search history.

human hug pony
human cuddle pony
human pony holding hooves
human pony boop
human on pony booping
human on pony booping video
define: booping

>>28079587
As time goes on

nerdy human takes all 9 inches of her fluffy tuft
human and changelings, volume 5
human gets cuddled while talking to his wife on the phone

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>>28079632
>human and changelings, volume 5
Oh my.

>>28079652
>It's just a bunch of ponies in cheap changeling costumes making bee noises around Anon before cuddle-swarming him

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>>28079706
>cuddle-swarming

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>>28079794
Changeling females sure are a lot more cuddly than their male counterparts.

>>28079337
>"Apologies sir, but it appears as though your request to acquire the small house near the edge of town has been declined."
>The mre behind the counter licks her hoof before flipping through some more documents on her desk
>How she is able to neatly moves things with mere hooves is something you're slowly growing accustomed to
>What you're not getting used to is the way things work here
"And why not? No one is currently using it and I am more than sure that I have the bits for it."
>Crossing your arms over your chest, you settle a level glare at this pony, but you try to not look too menacing
>Ponies get frightened rather easily, and annoyingly enough they return in greater numbers
>Usually only to once again get frightened, the day they found you was like watching a weird game of Red Rover
>"Well, as you clearly stated in your relationship status on the form, you are single, yes?"
>Readjusting her glasses, the pony looks up at you with a rather flat expression
>No doubt she is used to dealing with many problematic ponies
>Dropping your glare, you let out a sigh as you have a feeling of where this is going
"Did I really not get that small house because I do not have a herd?"
>Your voice sounded rather defeated instead of annoyed, something that has been happening more and more whenever this topic came up
>"I'm afraid so, the laws clearly state that stallions need a herd before they can own property, and usually it is the mares or alpha mare that do this sort of thing."
>Setting the folders down, she leans back in her little office chair before she spins on the spot
>"But I am no fool, I can see that you are quite different from a normal stallion."
>Gee, you wonder what gave that away

>>28079836
>Stopping her chair's spinning so that she can face you again, she now has a rather serious look donning her face
>"The most we would be able to get away with is moving you into an apartment complex near the centre of town, you would be living by yourself in your own flat but there would be mares nearby, a weird loophole if you would be willing to take it."
>That does sound tempting, but getting your own place with not many ponies around was one of the reasons you wanted that secluded cabin in the first place
>Twilight has you rooming with her for now, and it hasn't been that bad
>She has been pleasent company, when she is of the mind to actually talk and not be buried inside of her books
>And Spike has been that slightly annoying little brother you never had
>But some of Twilight's friend's are only a small amount of the problem group you've come to refer to as the 'PMA' Society
>Letting a heavy sigh escape your lips, you offer a small smile to the mare and stand up
"It's quite okay miss, it was mighty kind of you to offer that little flat for me though, you have a nice day now."
>As you wave goodbye, the mare finally puts a smile on her face as she nods her head
>"Best of luck to you as well sir, should you ever acquire a herd do come back and we will be happy to assist you."
>Stepping out and onto the streets of Ponyville, you take a deep breathe of fresh air before another sigh escapes you
"Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck"
>Cursing rather lazily under your breathe, you scratch your head with both of your hands before throwing them up into the air
"Urgh! Herd this, herd that, 'protect muh Anon', holy crap sticks it's all so infuriating!"
>Giving your cheeks a good sleep to snap yourself out of being frustrated, you feel the small stinging sensation before giving your body a good shake

>>28079852
"Okay! Don't be frustrated Anon, getting angry will do you no good right now, in fact it will make you look like a crazy person."
>"I got the impression that you were always a crazy person Anonymous."
>Hearing that now familiar voice, you can't help but roll your eyes with a smile as your turn to see Twilight standing there, saddlebags filled to the brim with something, probably more books
>And from what you can see, she has a cheeky smile on her face
"Thanks Sparkle, nice to know you think so"
>"I take it that getting that house didn't go well?"
>Despite asking it, it sounded like she knew that it wasn't going to work, in fact she knows that you know that she knows it wouldn't ended in your favour
"Yeah, once again it was met with a 'you need a herd' response."
>"Well, I'm sure that maybe one day you'll find somepony, or someponies that you wouldn't mind spending time with."
>Walking up to you, Twilight nudges your leg gently and laughs
>"And hey, living with me isn't so bad, you've learned so much about Equestria since you've stayed with me."
"Only because Teacher Twilight insisted that I attend her lessons, it would have crushed her poor little heart if I didn't let her show off her knowledge."
>Twilight was the first to crack at this, you following suit and soon you two are just standing there laughing at each other
"Oh man, you're like the only pony I can be comfortable around Twilight, I might as well just herd up with you eh?"
>Wiping a tear from your eye, you look down at your friend to expect her to throw a snarky remark your way only to see her sitting down with her hoof on her lips
>That usually means she's thinking about something, thinking about something really, REALLY hard
>Which spells nothing but trouble honestly, last time she assumed that pose you had to explain to everyone in town that you weren't going to eat them or sacrifice their foals

>>28079866
>She thought it would be a good experience if the town all got together and knew that you liked to eat meat, forgetting to mention that you can also digest greens
>"Well, why not?"
>Twilight's words breaking you out of your memories, you look down to find her staring directly into your eyes
>"I-I mean, you find too many ponies in town rather um, aggravating."
>As soon as she started, her purple furred cheeks turned a visibile shade of red
>"I may not be most colt's first choice, or second, or even third for that matter..."
>Depressing herserlf with her own words, you were about to pat her on the head to cheer up before she perks herself up and proudly puffs her chest tuft out
>"And we both get along rather well, so why don't you and I become a herd?"

Just an idea/green that came to me when I thought of continuing one of my other greens. This might be replacing the Twibro story I was doing since I feel like this would be along the same line of what I wanted to do with that story/idea. Anyway, hope you guys enjoy it, that you all have a nice day and if you spot any errors or spelling mistakes, then I apologize.

>>28079836
>>The mre behind the counter licks her hoof before flipping through some more documents on her desk
>The mre
Meal ready to eat?

>>28079970
Eat out the pony.

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>>28079897
>herd with twilight
>not mono relationship with twilight

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>>28080078

>Being a filthy mono.

Degenerates like you are the reason stallionism exists.

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>>28080331
I'm going to be with Twilight and only Twilight and make a dozen babies just to spite you.

>>28079897
The relationship seems really fake between the two of them, kinda like how >>28074327 described that other green.
I know that the context says that Anon has been with twiggles for a while now, but it feels really bland.

>>28079395
Oh, this could be horribly depressing if you do it right.

Twilight tries, crashes, burns
Cut to alt equestria, see how it went right.

For the final chapter, we see twilight, as she is, then alt equestria and see twilight as she is there, twilight never had a chance.

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>>28080078
>yet another Princess not in a herd
Alas the times, and the manners

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>>28080396

Stop contributing to Equestria's moral decline! Do you care nothing about setting a good example for other stallions?!

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>>28080331
>>28080521
>>28080606
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY OF THESE

>>28080477
Ah, but here you are missing a problem. No one, and I mean no one short of novarone/getmeouttahere is going to write a literal fucking book of text to make the relationship you want. Yea, we seen this song and dance hundreds if not thousands of times, get the fuck on with it.

>>28079897
Go for it, would honestly love to see 2 takes on the same premise that go off completely different directions. Reminds me of the anime, Dual parallel trouble adventure where one small thing, in this case anon getting his house, takes the world in completely different directions.

>>28076185
>Twilight tries harder and harder to be a "bad girl" for Anon.
>She ends up buying the pony version of a motorcycle and a leather jacket, while puffing a bubble gum cigarette.

>>28080661
>Settling for mediocrity
See, this is where we went wrong

>>28080695
Personally, unless you have an interesting take on how anon came to equestria, skip it, you want to make anon a resident of twilight, not hard to make it happen, so lets skip the 10-20+ pages explaining anon came from another world, and is the only one of his kind keep a watch on him and blast his ass with death rays if he is evil and just get to the important shit.

You don't have to keep reinventing the wheel if you have nothing to add.

Alright, boys, girls, I need your help. I've been playing with a whole bunch of ideas, ideas that I really like, but I can't seem to settle on one. And since I can't seem to settle on one I'm going to need you guys to pick.

Now, I'm just going to give you the synopsis of the story and that's it. And of these stories can be anything and everything:

1. A women talks to her ex-boyfriend who just bumped her from a pone

2. Birdhorses and birdbaths

3. Stallions in a room hiding during estrus season

4. Some other thing that I can't remember right now but I know I'll remember it later

The one that you guys pick will be the one that I do first. Maybe

>>28080756
I'm just referring to the relationship between Twi, and how it feels kinda forced. There's nothing wrong with throwing characters into an already-established setting, but you can't just write every two characters with chemistry as "yeah total dudebros we laugh at each other's jokes all the time man".

>>28080834
2. Birdhorses and birdbaths

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>>28080834
I'm torn between 2 and 3, but I think I'm leaning more towards 2.

Birdhorses best horses.

>>28080834
Giant biped cyborgs in Ponyville-3 fighting Tartarusspawns.