RGRE: Reversed Gender Roles Equestria

>>28050219
I want Vinyl to beer-belch the letters 'RGRE' in my face.

>>28033233
>not piss

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>>28050230
>Hugs are sex

I want the Royal Guard Mare to bark angrily in the anon's ear.

>>28050314
They pretty much are, at least if they are naked. Hugs are neat.

>>28050311
Changelings Grylls drinking each others' love

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>RGRE Gameloft MLP

Do it.

Meta green about Frosty's Writeherd when?

>>28050509
When the Americanos wake up

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>>28050219
Has there ever been a EQG RGRE green?

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>>28050219
Post RGR pictures.
I need to fill my new RGRE folder.

>>28050750
grab this >>27982351 thread before it goes stale

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>>28050750

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>>28050314
>Sex is hugs.

Wew, work has got to stop kicking my ass.

>>28048406
Aww, I'm glad you like my writings! I'm trying to make more, soon. Promise.

>>28048372
I was thinking more his hooves, but, uh... if you want to go for the horrifying thought, go ahead.

>>28048350
Excellent

>>28039405
H-he totally bought it. Totally.

>>28037832
Aww. Here's hoping you're always a happy drunk, friend.

>>28035437
>>28035424
Gotcha. Well then, I'll tone down the jumping.

>>28051104
>Wew, work has got to stop kicking my ass.
Does it, really?

>>28051134
What does he do for a living.

>>28051104
>go ahead
I am inspired.

>Be Anon in Equestria.
>Be in your garden digging a hole.
>There's some kind of commotion over across the street by Anon's place
>His neighbor Caramel is shouting something.
>Now he's running.
>Now he's jumping.
>Now he's torn his pecker on a rose thorn.
>Now he's caught by the thorn and falling into the rest of the roses.
>Now he's writhing around in the rose bushes trying to get free.
>Now he's noticed the pain from his dick cover flap being torn open. His eyes are wide but his pupils are pinpricks.
>Now he's screaming and struggling.
>And bleeding.
>He's bleeding a lot.
>You'd better go over and help him.
>You drop your shovel and jog over.
>As you do this his pony struggling has gotten his willy worsened.
>Seriously it's horrible.
>Now it's not just his horsey cock hiding flap that's ripped open.
>His horsey hwang is torn right open lengthways.
>You get to him and use your boot to trample some of the roses out of the way to get closer to the bloodsoaked pony.
>You manage to remove Caramel from the roses and begin administering first aid.
>Your shirt is firmly pressed against his mangled manhood to stem the flow of blood.
>You'll have to get him to the hospital now, which'll probably take the rest of the afternoon.
>You go do that.
>When you get back it's dark out.
>You just go inside and have a shower to get the blood off then go to bed.
>When you get up the next morning your shovel is gone.
>You are not a happy Anon.
>You NEED that hole dug before you can do anymore.
>And the tools the ponies try to sell you are almost universally utter junk that even the Chinese would reject.
>The only one who does decent tools lives on the other side of the country.
>Damnit you do not need this.
>Fucking horses always do SOMETHING to keep you from finishing your yardwork

>>28051170
Line 3 and 4 make no sense in the context of the story, since it's from Anon's perspective

>>28050676
I uh, need an adult.

...

And a new pair of pants. This comic does stuff for me.

>>28051272
There are two characters named Anon in this story.

>>28051308
>>28051272
Durnk isnt supposed to make sense, silly!

>>28051319
Don't you tell me what i can and can't write.

>Be Anon in Equestria again.
>That one from earlier on, probably the last thread.
>You know, with the aeroplane.
>Anyway, you're working on your plane today.
>It's a replica Ford Falcon you made because you had a model of one to work off.
>You figure it'll be easier to do something from the WW2 era than one of the modern Harrier Scramjets or something else modern and flashy.
>You thought of doing a Spitfire but decided against it due to how ponies can get.
>There's be no end to the confusion, and one day it would end up in a bodysuit crashed into the wonderbolts stadium.
>That would be bad.
>Alnost as bad as if the ponies snuck into your workshop and tampered with something important without you noticing, leading to a horrific in-flight malfunction.
>That shit isn't going to happen on or off your watch.
>You have learned early on to be highly suspicious of this world.
>Which is why amongst other measures, this room is filled with anti-teleportation wires when you close up for the day.
>TWILIGHT SPARKLE STOP BEAKING IN DAMNIT
>YOU ALREADY GOT A COPY OF THE PLANS
>NO HORSES IN THE WORKSHOP

>>28051465
Go back to the kitchen

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>>28051509
>TFW you get back from the kitchen and find this message waiting for you

>>28051542
Durnk I really hope you are European, it is far to early to be this drunk in the Western Hemisphere.

>>28051652
>it is far to early to be this drunk in the Western Hemisphere.
Lol what? It's already 11 on the East Coast.

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>>28051542
Go and make sandwiches, colt while I'm finishing you as a pone with Berry

>You are Anon and your fetish is >rape.
>And you are currently balls deep in a mare you stalked behind the bar. You are balls deep in her and you just took her because it's your fetish.
>Now you get to delight in her screams of protest as you plant your seed.
>"Yes more!", Shouts the school teacher pony.
"What? What is this? You shouldn't be enjoying this."
>Your boner is confused and steadily shrinking.
>The blushing mare giggles up at you. Her cheeks red from the alcohol.
>"Silly Anon. Stallions can't rape a mare." She says while petting your chest. "Now how about some sugar in my bowl?"
>Your boner instantly deflates and you've never been so disappointed.
"What kind of world is this!"
>You say with worry. Knowing that without >rape, you can't get it up.
>"The best kind!" She says while throwing her hooves around you.
>Saddened, you wriggle out of her grasp and slink off into the night.
>"Where are you going stud?!" She calls out to you. The moment you vanish behind a corner, she shouts. "Call me!"

Is RGRE the most active general?

>>28051766
on a scale of 1 to yes, very

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>>28051793

This and Dazzle thread are my favorites.

>>28051669
>Be Princess Celestia in a rubber suit.
>AKA Berry punch.
>Luna's been trying to take your booze away so you have a plan.
>A clever plan, for you are a clever pony.
>Luna can't take your grog if she can't find you.
>So you dressed up one of your guards as you and buggered off to the pub.
>After Luna found you at the pub you did the same again, but this time in a disguise and to a different pub.
>You chose one in Ponyville because your student's reports made it sound like a fun place to hang out.
>Now you can drink as much as you want, whenever you want.
>You even got a house right next to the bakery so you always have sweets.
>Luna will never find you.

>>28051802
Write us some RGR Dazeloids or whatever they are then.
>Sirens want to get human booty but do not know how to human.
>Siren is dating Anon but is scared of his mom.
>Siren has a crush on the boy next door.

>>28050676
No. It would belong in a EqG thread anyway.

>>28051835
EqG can come play here now and then if they can be RGRE enough.

>>28051832
There was a RGR Dazzlers green a few months back set in >nohooves land

>>28051857
If you say so.

>>28051832
>Dazzling RGR

Would, but currently writing Dazzle Lovecraft/cooking show stuff. Really want to do that RGR Sheriff Anon prompt one too.

>>28051924
>Lovecraft dazzle cooking show
Now i'm curious about what you get up to over there

>>28051951
Lovecraft is so overused and 99% of the time misused.

>>28051959
Fuck your bullshit, we're making Yog-Sothoth soup with Mi-go mushroom bread rolls tonight
We /ck/ now bitch

>>28051143
Get his ass kicked.

>You are Anon
>It's another boring day after work, and you've decided to spend a few hours browsing Ponechan.
>It's remarkably like the 4chan from back home, only all the memes are horse-puns.
>There seems to be this big joke about there being no "colts" on the internet.
>Why wouldn't guys be on the internet here?
>It doesn't make sense to you.
>Sighing you click on /mlh/.
>It's kinda cool to see ponies spazzing out over a bunch of historical figures.
>Sometimes they get into arguments about whether or not Hitler did anything wrong, or if Lincoln's beard was fake.
>It turns out that the character selection is pretty hit or miss; they'd heard of MLK jr, but the show didn't even include Putin.
>This means that you get a bunch of famous people and a bunch of nobody's as well.
>Like, get this: Apparently a couple of years ago, there was one episode that had your friend Jeff in it.
>He was just dicking around in a crowd and was only onscreen for about half a second, but there you go.
>Nobody's recognized you so far (except for being a human like in their cartoon show), so you're pretty sure you haven't shown up yet.
>You refresh the page and a new topic's come up
>"Reversed Gender Roles in Earth (RGRE)
>Sweet.
>A bunch of ponies are submitting stories and talking about how awesome it would be to live in a world where the women are catered to.
>One pony made a lengthy post going over a bunch of scenes trying to prove that RGRE is canon and, well, he isn't wrong.
>You click his post number and bring your hands to your keyboard.
"True fact. Male human here, RGRE is canon."
>In less than two minutes, you have a bunch of replies
>"Horseapples!"
>" "I'm a huge dyke" that's you."
>"I BUCKING KNEW IT"
>"testes or gtfo"
>"your not the human prove it or buck off"
>....'kay.
>One quick picture of your cock and balls later, and you obtain about two minutes of fame before the mods ban you for submitting pornographic material to a family-friendly board.

>>28052285
humans live on Terra you pleb

>>28052304
No, they live in Homo Sapienria, you queer.

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>>28052304
>>28052317
No, they live in a Humanland! Humanland, you fluffheaded mares!—

>>28052391
>Hockey fan Canadanon shocks ponies with his ice-rage

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>>28052285

>>28052435
He can't, he's banned.

>>28052498
Really? Goddammit, I still get PTSD over Comfy getting banned during his hearding story all the time

>>28052515
No, Anon is.

Shitty plotless one-shot? Shitty plotless one-shot.

>You are Anon, and you're reading a book on Equestrian magical history that Twilight gave you.
>"Hey, Anon! I'll give you five bits if you show me your sheath!"
>A couple of mean-looking fillies leer at you, the gray one shaking a small clinking bag around in her mouth
>One universal constant followed you to Equestria: kids are just fucking awful.
>You wish you could say that fillies didn't hit on you all the time.
>But once these little fuckers get their butt-pictures, they go around acting like they have the biggest set of balls in the world.
>Only the fillies, though - the colts are just happy and proud and do whatever it is their tramp-stamps tell them to do.
>The fillies, man... they all seem to get the idea in their head that now there's some kind of competition to grab a man as quickly as they can as soon as they get their cutie marks.
>You have no fucking clue why they go after you.
>You aren't in some important position with your job; you don't know any important ponies, not including the six Elements.
>Hell, you repair broken shit for a living and you live in a cottage.
>A cottage!
>That's two rooms: The bedroom, and the combination kitchen/living room.
>You don't even have a bathroom; just a hose out back and an outhouse that magically teleports your shit to wherever ponies magic away their shit to.
>Indoor plumbing? Don't even worry about it. It's not a thing here in "two thirds of the population don't have hands or magic and can't even use tools properly so how are they supposed to manufacture and lay down a complex network of water pipes" Equestria.

>>28052647
>So why are all these actual-legit-for-realsies underage CHILDREN horses trying to get at your dick?!
>"Because you're the tallest!"
>...how much of your internal rant wasn't actually internal?
>"Just that last part."
>Dammit.
>"Do you really not have a bathroom? That's super gross."
>MOTHERFUCKER.
>"Mother what-er?"
"Okay! Okay, look. What do you want. Why because I'm the tallest."
>The pink one waves a hoof at the gray one, who sighs and lays down.
>The pink one tries to crawl on top of the gray one and kicks her widdle hoofsies trying to gain purchase.
>She struggles a bit and then stands proud on top of her miserable friend's back.
>"Because then you can put me on your withers and then /I/ will be the tallest! And that means ponies have to listen to me!"
>That's the dumbest thing you've ever heard.
"Says who?"
>Pink-crown looks confused.
>"That's how it works. Sandy Shores is really tall and she's my age, but she makes the rules during recess. And Miss Cheerilee is bigger than all of us, so she gets to do things like tell us to be quiet or to do our homework."
>Oh, god.
>Please tell you that this isn't how Equestrian hierarchy works.
"K-kinda like Celestia and Luna?" you ask with a shaky breath, "Because they're the t-tallest?"
>Please, god, no.
>"Yup!"
>No.
>NO.
>Then why don't YOU have any kind of pull around Ponyville?!
>Answer me THAT, small child!
"How come people don't do what /I/ say, then?"
>Gray-glasses shoves pink-crown off of her and starts rolling around on her back; you guess to clean her fur off or something.
>"Because you're a stallion. My mommy says that stallions can't be trusted with power or else they do silly things like spend all their money buying mane-care goop, or just argue with other colts instead of getting anything done."
>Well, shit.
>You hope that isn't true.

>>28052653
"So... stallions are...?"
>Pink-crown nods happily and, for the first time since you met her five minutes ago, smiles.
>"Yeah-huh! Colts are supposed to be taken care of and loved and given kisses and hugs! They aren't really good at things and that's why they can't do lots of stuff without a gentlemare there to help out and sign things for them."
>....that... MIGHT explain why you needed a couple of signatures from Lyra and Bon Bon in order to buy your shitty little house.
>Shit, wait, does that mean they have some kind of legal presence in your life now?
>Is that why they keep sneaking into your house to sleep in your bed at night EVEN WHEN you lock the doors?
>It DOES explain why Bon Bon acted like a psychopath that one time a mare tried hitting on you.
>Man, this is some pretty heavy stuff these kids are dropping on you.
>You need to talk to a couple of ponies; you may or may not be in a romantic relationship with a couple of horses without realizing it.
"Uh, sorry, kids." you say, closing your book and getting to your feet, "I think I'm already taken."
>Pink-crown scuffs the dirt with her hooves and makes a scrunchie face.
>"Aw, heck!"
>Gray-glasses glares at pink-crown and shoves her.
>"I /told/ you it wasn't going to work! You should have brought more than 5 bits! You can't make a colt show you his thingy with five bits!"
>Pink-crown gets up and glares at her friend.
>"Mommy only gave me 20 bits this week and Berry Punch wouldn't sell me that Playmare magazine for less than 15!"
>Gray-glasses perks up immediately.
>"Do you still have it?"
>Pink-crown nods.
>"Yup. I hid it under my bed. Wanna see it?"
>Gray-glasses jumps in place excitedly.
>"Yeah! Let's go!"
>The two of them walk off as if nothing ever happened, leaving you alone with your thoughts.
>You didn't think you'd start your day with children telling you that you're a second-class citizen.
>Kids are fucking awful.

>>28052662
Fuck it, I'll stop being a faggot who posts anonymously. This train-wreck was mine. How are things, RGRE thread?

>>28051951
Its up to 26k words on fimfiction. We party hard in Dazzle general. But currently I need more sexist mares in my life. Preferably Pie sisters, but would enjoy more Topaz.

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>>28052697
Just finished >>28042770 and >>28042780 by putting them together, everyone else are sleeping, apparently

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>>28052715
Sadly >>28042775 not done yet, dunno how to draw "myself"

>>28052715
>>28052725

I'm here. I'm always here.
I count as someone, right?
...right...?

>>28052731
Oh. Go to sleep too then everyone is important

>>28052715
>>28052725
You are fucking amazing man

>>28052697
Could be better, I could be writing right now instead

>>28052715
ayyy, that's pretty good, Pencil. I wish I were still asleep too, to be honest. I'm posting stupid bullshit all over the board that I don't realize is dumb until after I post it. I'm curious: how long does it take you to do these drawings? You must have a lot of practice.

>>28052749
Thanks for the honest response, Anon.

>>28052715
>>28052725
That's some nice work there, pencil.

>dunno how to draw "myself"
Draw a lanky pone with a pencil as a cutie mark, constantly thinking & talking about what he can ship together in his drawings next.

>>28052731
>I count as someone, right?
No. We're nobodies.

>>28052785
We're all actually the same person posting from different computers and using different IP addresses.

>>28052749
A squirrel has been distracting me for the past hour now, and I'm pretty sure a myriad of other things will come to bother me, too.

>>28052770
THEY are my practice. Around 1-2 hours to "finish" if I work without pauses. These 2 + not done yet drawing... 3 hours in total? I really don't know how everyone is picturing "me" as a pone

Oh, nevermind, >>28052785 thanks for the answer

>>28052715
>>28052725
And then they swapped vomit.

>>28052697
It was pretty decent love the invader zim tallest mentality in ponyland

>>28052782
Oh shit I just realized I fucked up
The "could be better" was the answer to your question on how things are, your story was tophilarious

>>28052743
Why is my herdmom a suddenly stallion?
Tag that shit with r63

>Herdshit general

>>28052697
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_3OByb-Gd88

>>28053105
>a gentle rustling passes through the jimmies

what compels people to try and shit on things that in no way affects them?

>>28053005
Silly Anon, there are many, many Durnk pones

>>28052917
>>28053110
Thanks, buds. I don't think I've ever watched Invader Zim - that was after my time.

>>28052980
That's kind of you to say Anon, but you would have been right either way. That story was just me throwing RGRE at the wall and seeing what sticks.

>>28053138
http://kisscartoon.me/Cartoon/Invader-ZIM

for you

>>28053131
Lack of self-control and respect of other's opinions.

>>28053138
ApA, can you prove for a fact you're a human? Can you prove to us that you're not a pone, specifically? Hell, can any of you prove you're not secretly pones?

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>>28053105
k

>>28053194
I'm a clever-bot facsimile, can you prove that you arn't?

>>28051858
I don't remember that, do you have a link?

>>28051959
FUCK YOUUUUU!
>>28052035
FUCK YEAHHHHH!

>>28052725
Man, look at that slutty colt. No shame at all.

>>28053194
Ha! Hah, ha! E-everypo-BODY knows that p-p-ponies don't really exist, silly fil-uh, you f-faggot! How could I be something that doesn't exist?

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>>28053888
>secret pones
Don't be silly, that would be crazy.

>>28053888
Trips confirm ApA is hiding nothing.

>>28053888
If you say so, totally-not-a-Raven-like-mare-but-with-buttplug-and-from-Frosty-herd. Trips cannot lie

>>28052715
>>28052725
Oh fuck, pencil. That's pretty awesome.

“Ughhh she’s here too.”
>”Who’s here?”
>Your closest sister from another mister looked confused by your exasperated statement.
“That cosplayer from Human Night Manheattan! So far she’s been going to every con and just making a spectacle of herself.”
>”Maybe she just likes going to conventions.”
>No she didn’t, she was showing off her human cosplay, bucking attention hoarder.
“Well I’m tired of it and going to do something about it.”
>That’s right, you were going to put a filly in her place.
“Hey you! Yeah you, your cosplay stinks! Go back to your dads basement you normie!”
>”Back Drop knock it off, you’re going to get us kicked out again.”
“No way, yeah that’s right I’m talking to you! You STINK!!!”
>That mare certainly had some teats to look confused, how did she get the mask to make expressions anyway.
>You were going to have to look that up later… maybe a spell? Had to be it.

>Some pony just called you a cosplayer.
>Looking down at your slacks and t-shirt you looked back at her with a confused stare.
>You came to these things since Moonie was nuts about them, and now you were getting heckled.
“What are you talking about?”

>That was not a mare’s voice. ABORT! ABORT! ABORT!
>Oh sweet Celestia!
>It’s a stallion.
>At a human convention.
>Time for plan B.
“Well your cosplay isn’t very good!”
>Turning you took off galloping towards the food court.
>Since when did stallions come to conventions?
---
I swear someone was doing a convention green earlier, anyone know what I'm talking about or am I going senile?

>>28054177
Frosty, with Lyra "Humie fan" and Bon-Bon "Totally-not-a-secret-fan-of-that-coltish-show" at a convention? Where Anon even signed up Lyra's hentai-manga about him as a show character with neet mare?

>>28054177
I remember it, but the story just stopped and dropped off. Going to continue it?

>>28054177
That pone needs to stop being so jelly, it's turning her into such a vulgar mare and at a stallion no less. Security may need to be informed to keep an eye on her.

Also there have been a couple of Con greens done here and there. if you meant the My Big Human: Teamwork is Power thing, that was me a couple of months ago

>>28054215
Yup that's the one, you rapscallion you.

>>28054177
>"W-wow, what's such a realistic silicon human penis! I bet it can't c-c-cum inside of me or anything!"
>This fucking pony.
>You've spent so much time and effort to prove you're that you're a human and not a cosplayer.
>You're in too deep to stop now.
>"Ahh~ Y-you must have spent a f-fortune to make it pulse and feel so warm!"
>Figuratively and literally.
>You don't even care that she's just doing this so that you two fuck any more.

>>28054177
"What do you mean "horrible cosplay?"
>"Humans aren't green, and they have faces! God, do you even WATCH the show!?"
>What.

I've always liked the idea that Anon sees himself as a normal human, but pony brains automatically censor him out because he's like an edlritch abomination to them. They see a cartoon-y green guy instead of what he really looks like.

>>28054353
>"Humanized slenderpony cosplay? Really?"

>>28054353
That....that's I good idea actually. I never heard of that being done, except for a one off I read in the demon pone thread where Anon was an elder god that fucked up Discords shit for fucking around with his friends.

>>28054392
there was also the whole thing about the pony world being 2.5 D while anon is a 3 D being. Making him impossible to comprehend for them while to anon the ponies just seem kinda... flat.

Basically long story short it just turned into ponies worshipping anon as a eldritch god when he is just an ordinary human.

>>28054598
My mind immediately went to Darkest Dungeon.

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>>28054392
>>28054598
Do you know where i can find the stories?

>>28054598
>>28054618
>you will never have your own devoted world ending eldritch cult

>>28054637
Nah, all I remember was a vague thread a few months back but it died quickly...

>>28054392
The issue comes in that this isn't an idea that sustains an entire story, possibly a one shot series, but not an entire story.

>>28054652
Not with that attitude you won't anon. Clearly you have never considered finding a uncontaminated tribe in the amazon and being their god.

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>>28054657

>>28054652
Dude I can tell you it is easier than you think, just go to your nearest Hot Topic and start recruiting anyone that goes there.

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>Be the Pinkest of panks
>It was late
>You didn't know how late it was, which was weird 'cause you were usually really good at telling time because you had to since you worked at a bakery and knowing times was important, but you knew it was late
>All good little ponies should have been in bed by now
>You should have been in bed by now
>But you couldn't
>For some reason, even though you had a belly full of yummy pizza and your day had been loooooooong, you just couldn't drift off
>You shifted in the bed that wasn't your own, your nose loudly scrunching
>As you did so you could feel Twilight's wing brushing against your wither and barrel
>Though you were doing your best to keep quiet you couldn't help but giggle at the sensation
>Your purple drank friend grumbled sleepily into your ear
>The single hoof that she had draped over your body slide down to your tummy as she shifted a bit
>You could feel her chest and belly rubbing against your back as she pressed herself a little more firmly against you
>"Books..." she murmured, nuzzling the back of your neck
>The smile on your face, which hadn't left you since you, the girls, and Anon had sat down and had dinner together, widened just a hair
>Aw...
>Twilight was such a qt3.14 when she was sleeping
>You were going to have to tease her when she woke up...
>Not wanting to disturb your sis, you slowly, carefully scooted yourself forward
>There was somepony laying on the other side of you
>Somepony who had had a very rough day
>A VERY rough day
>And right now you knew that he needed five hundred CC's of cuddles to make everything better
>He might have been getting some of those cuddles from Rarity, who was snoozing with her muzzle buried in the nape of his neck, but from the look of things he was only getting half of his recommended dose
>And you'd know; you were a doctor

>>28054705
OH SHIT

ITS TIME

also cute pic

>>28054392
I did that Discord one, Anon. I was going to put it in my bin but that was when that mod went nuts and deleted all of those threads.

The prick deleted all of my stuff before I could get it.

Oh, and this is still get cutter get butter

>>28054705
>A cuddle doctor
>You had a diploma and everything
>You let it in your room next to Gummy's bed and--
>...
> Oh right, you're in the middle of a scene
>Though it was dark in the room you could still see every inch of Nonny's super giant body
>He was shirtless, with his blanket covering his lower belly
>U-Unf
>You bit your lip, reaching out and giving his side a poke
>He felt like a rock, solid and heavy
>With each breath he took you could feel his muscle-y muscles ripple and move
>Your hoof traced circles on his oddly smooth skin, going lower and lower with each--
>You twitched, freezing in place as Twilight snorted, bathing your ear in her hot, moist air
>Eyes widening, your eyes darted up to Nonny's face
>His eyes were still closed and his face was still peaceful
>He was still asleep
>Thank goodness...
>Sighing in relief, you reached down and grabbed the edge of his blanket
>With a flick of your hoof you pulled it a little higher up his chest
>To your delight he sighed, nuzzling a little deeper into his pillow
>Alrighty!
>You had a great big ol' human that was ninety percent comfy
>Time to dial that up ten more points!
>It took a few minutes of wiggling forward, pulling Twilight with you, but eventually you could feel Nonny's arm against your side
>From underneath the covers your tail flicked
>You could smell him now
>You could smell his soap, you could smell the strong yet pleasant scent of a stallion
>Taking a deep whiff you noticed that you could smell both of your friends too
>Twi had this sharp, berry, kool drank smell about her, while Rarity smelled more like vanilla and some super duper expensive things that you couldn't identify

>>28054754
>Whatever it was it smelled nice...
>A blush came to your face as you slide up Nonny's arm
>Now you could smell... other stuff
>The stuff that the four of you did earlier today
>Even though you had all taken baths there was still that hint of it on Nonny
>The smell of sex and excitement; your scents
>...
>Whoo filly
>Was it getting hot in here or was it just you?
>You shivered as you felt Twilight nuzzling your neck, your butt cheeks clutching
>Just think of rocks, Pinkie
>The sedimentary ones
>Yeah...
>Those were the boring rocks...
>Nothing like those stupid sexy igneous ones...
>Why did they have to be so hot?
>Dirty thoughts/rock puns aside, you soon found yourself lying next to Anon
>Well, that wasn't totally true...
>You had been lying next to Nonny the entire night
>But now you were lying NEXT to him
>Like so close that you could press your ear against his chest and listen to his heart beating and his tummy rumbling and a whole bunch of other stuff
>A sigh escaped your lips as you pressed yourself a little more firmly against his side
>You were nearly felt engulfed by the humey lying like this
>His body dwarfed yours
>Even with you lying splayed out like you were, with your head resting in the space where his arm met his shoulder, your back legs barely made it to his knees
>It felt... nice
>It made you safe...
>Your nose scrunched up slightly as Twilight muttered sleepy book horse secrets into your ear
>...
>Yep
>This was a big ol' stallion
>Like a super-sized stallion
>A big, warm, nice smelling super-sized stallion that gave you butterflies as you cuddle him
>Leaning over a bit you nuzzled Nonny's chest before looking back up at the ceiling
>You could FEEL Nonny's pulse as you laid against him
>Your own heart was beating a little faster than it had been a few minutes ago
>Your hooves were also kinda sweaty
>...
>And, for some reason, you couldn't help but think about mom's spaghetti

>>28054821
>Which was weird since momma pie never made spaghetti
>Your dad was always the one that cooked and the only thing that he cooked was rock soup since you all lived on a rock farm and you needed to eat rocks to help you grown big and strong and your mom never--
>Your ears perked up as Nonny began to move
>You could feel his legs tapping against your hooves
>The blanket that you had all been sharing was pulled from your bodies as he kicked it off
>Suddenly, he rolled onto his side
>The side which, as luck would have it, you were lying on
>You gasped as your muzzle was smooshed up against Anon's collarbone
>Before you could scooch away you could feel one of his big ol' arms flopping over you
>Both that arm and the one under you quickly pulled you against him
>Now his scent seemed to overwhelm you
>He was enveloping you with his body, his warmth, everything
>A whimper escaped your throat as you felt one of his hands tickle the small of your back
>Ohmycakeyouwerenottrainedforthishorseapples!
>You squirmed as he nuzzled the top of your head, your tail once again flicking
>...
>Don't think about the bulge rubbing against your tummy
>Don'tthinkaboutthebulgerubbingagainstyourtummy
>Arethehayareyouthinkingaboutthebulgerubb--
>"You know, if you keep squirming you're going to wake up the other two."
>Your ears perked up as the hand on your back began to wander up your spine, the fingers drumming against your fur the whole while
>Clutching your butt, you looked up
>Anon's green eyes seemed to glow in the darkness as they stared down at you, tired and half-lidded
>You swallowed, though it was a bit difficult since, for some reason, your throat really dry all of the sudden
"I'm super duper sorry if I woke you up, Nonny," you apologized. "I was just couldn't fall asleep an--"
>Your tensed for a moment as Nonny's hand pushed into your mane and found one of your ears

>>28054851
>A second later you melted against him, groaning in delight as he started scratching
>Yeeeeeeeessssssssss....
>"Don't worry about it Ponk," he said as you quietly gasped. "I was about to get up anyway."
>...
>Get up?
>Why the hay would he get up?
>Especially at this ti--dfjvndkfjndkjfndkjnd!
>Anon's fingers danced across your ear while the other dug into your scalp
"Hmm~"
>As you made happy pony noises, squirming in delight, you could feel Nonny's thoughtful gaze on you
>He seemed to mill over something for a few moments before he nodded to himself
>"...Say Pank, if I remember right you're the only one that didn't a happy ending today."
>Happy ending?
>What the hay was he talking about?
>You had pizza and you got to sleep with a big hunk of a stallion
>Of COURSE you had a happy--
>Your eyes, which had been closed as you were given your pets, shot open as you felt Anon swing over on top of you
>Though he was holding himself up with his knees and elbows he still had you effectively pinned underneath him
"...Nonny, wha--thmp!"
>Your eyes widened as he leaned down and pressed his lips against yours
>ekfjndkfjndkjnkjnkj!
>Your could feel a blush spread across your face as he held the kiss for a few moments, his green eyes dancing with amusement
>His lips were soft, you could feel his tongue teasing the edges of your mouth
>Whoo filly...
>Whoo, whoo filly...
>Before you could open your mouth and attack his tongue with your own, Anon broke the kiss
>Your back legs slapped together
>Wetly, you couldn't help but notice
"A-Anon--"
>"Shush," the human cooed, kissing your cheek. "Now, Pinkie, I want to play a little game with you."
>You looked to your left and right
>Rarity was lying a about a foot away from you, curled up into a little ball
>Though Twilight was still relatively close to you Anon had somehow pushed her away a bit without you noticing
>Both of them were still asleep
>They did--
>You gasped as Anon leaned down and kissed your neck

>>28054882
>"I'll be a fun game, and I'm sure that you'll like it a lot~"
>You squirmed underneath Anon as he began crawling southward, leaving a trail of kisses in his wake
>Ohmygosh!
>Was he gonna--
>Your body twitched as Nonny buried his face into your tuft and began to pull at your hair with his teeth
>dfkgjndfkjndkjnkj!
>You bit your lip HARD to keep a groan from escaping
>Your heart was pounding in your chest now, so loudly that you were afraid that Twilight or Rarity woud--
>OhmyLestia!
>Reaching behind your head you grabbed a pillow and quickly stuffed it into your mouth
>Your eyes drifted down to see Nonny kissing your heaving belly
>Your body twitched with each kiss, a wave of electricity and excitement running up your body with each peck
>And then you felt his tongue, short and stout yet strong, teasing your coat
"Tdfjnmp!"
>You bit down on the pillow hard, not able to look away
>"Now I'm going to need you to be as quiet as possible, Pank," Nonny said as he looked down at your painfully erect teats. "We wouldn't want everyone else waking up now would we?"
>You could feel his hands on your meaty flanks
>His fingers were digging into your cutiemarks, squeezing and groping and teasing
>You exhaled loudly through your nose, trying to rub your back legs together
>"Do you think that you can stay quiet for me, Pinkie?"
>Your hips bucked as you felt his lips wrap around one of your tea--akjnskjdnfksjdndlfjvndlfndl!"
>To keep yourself from groaning you bit down on your pillow even harder
>Shutting your eyes tightly, you nodded before hugging your pillow close to your face
>You could be quiet
>You could be the quietest pony in all of the land
>You could make graves seem noisy
>He just needed to keep going
>He just needed to--
"Mugbdpl!"
>The ending of your though was decimated as you felt Anon release your teat with a pop and travel lower

>>28054882
Yisss, he did not forget about her!

Now I.O.U. a sketch

>>28054906
>All you could feel after that was heat and tongue
>And, though you couldn't see it, as lost in your pleasure as you were, you could see a sly smile on Anon's face

~-`-`-~


>Be an injured, tired, and VERY upset Caramel
>The cell that they had put you in was a small one, but then again Ponyville's jailhouse wasn't all that big
>And it certainly didn't help that they had CRAMPED twenty of you in here
>It was hot in the cell, along with being smelly, dirty and dark
>There were cobwebs peppered all over the walls and the ceiling, the metal toilet that was sitting in the corner looked like it hadn't been cleaned in FOREVER, there were no windows that you could look out of
>And did you mention that this cell was dirty?
>Because it was
>Probably the dirtiest room that you've ever seen in fact
>The smell and the heat was made even worse by the numerous bodies of your fallen brothers, all of whom were as quiet as could be
>Many of them had been crying, while others were just looking down at the dirty stone floor
>Each and every one of you knew that when the sun came up you all would be hauled up to Canterlot
>Only Celestia knows what they'd do to you when you got up there but there was no way that it'd be good
>...
>BUCK...
>Sighing, you scratched at your brand new neck brace
>Bucking Anon...
>If he had just kept his mouth shut and helped you out everything would have probably turned out alright
>But now?
>Now you were all facing numerous charges, some of which could land you some very real jail time
>And no matter how much you cried or whined or tried to look pathetic and weak nothing was going to get you out of it
>...
>You were all screwed
>And you, being the one with a semi-fractured spine AND who would probably get the worst punishment for all of this, weren't all too happy about it
>Not one little bit

>>28054177
That's what you get for watching a real mare's show. Damn humies deserve to be heckled, they deserve every ass slap they get. Dang attention whoers.

>>28054965
>You huffed quietly under your breath, your ears hugging the sides of your head as a ripple of pain coursed up your body
>Bucking... curding...
>Those pain pills that that quack of a doctor gave you didn't do horse apples...
>You couldn't even SLEEP...
>SHUT--
CLANG!
>You looked all
>All around you other stallions were also looking up as this ringing, metal-on-metal sound rang through the cell
>That odd, jarring, slightly unsettling note hung in the air for what seemed like an eternity
>Your ears perked up as you wiggled around uncomfortably
>Were those the guards?
>What the hay were they doing up this late?
>...
>Why were they banging on the bars?
>The second that the ringing stopped a new sound graced your ears; hoofsteps
>...
>No, not hoofsteps
>These sounded different
>They were heavier but slightl--
>...
>Oh no...
>No, no, no...
>You began to scooch backwards, forcing yourself deeper into the crowd of seated stallions
>There was no way that he could get in here
>You knew for a fact that there were about twenty guards in this building
>Somepony as big as him could possibly--
CLANG!
>You jumped as that ringing sound, louder this time, cut through the silence
>You took a few deep breaths, trying and failing calm your now beating heart, before looking at the colts around you
>All of the talking, though there wasn't all that much to begin with, had died down
>Whoever had managed to fall asleep was wide awake now
>Nopony was moving

>>28054991
>As far as you could tell nopony, yourself included, was even breathing
>You were all looking through the bars into the pitch black hallway
CLANG!
>The footsteps were getting louder
>Oh buck...
>He got past them all didn't h-he?
>Dryly swallowing, you settled yourself in the corner of the cell, quietly shaking
>...
>No
>This was just a guard trying to scare you!
>He wouldn't come here and do anything to any of you!
>He would--
>Your eyes widened when you saw a silhouette right in front of the bars
>Huge, looming, familiar
>...
>Buuuuuuuuuuck...
>Though not a single stallion said a word, they quickly got up and began backing away
>You could smell the terror in the air, see it on the faces of everypony
>From beside you a stallion whimpered
>The same exact sound escaped your throat as two massive, calloused hands cut through the inky blackness and grabbed the bars with deliberate slowness
Crrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaakkkkkkkkk!
>You heard the metal groan in protest as the bars were bent wider and wider and wider
>Every single one of you were, at this point, as close to the wall as you could be
>Some of you were nearly sitting on each other to try to get away
>All around you you could hear stallions whimpering, begging, praying, all while they looked for a way to get away, to escape
>But you knew the truth
>Deep down you knew that there was no escape
>You all were stuck here, watching as those bars bent more and more
>There was nothing that any of you could do
>Nothing at all
>Terror twisted your gut as the figure leaned forward and poked his head into the cell
>Mybodyisnotreadycolt.jng

>>28055010
>"There you all are," Anon growled, his glowing green eyes sweeping the cell
>You all wilted under his piercing gaze, not able to look him in the eye
>With a grunt, he wedged himself between the opening that he had made
>Though the bars were bent wide enough for two ponies to walk through it they a bit small for him
>But, nevertheless, Anon eventually forced himself into the cell
>He was shirtless you noticed, and you couldn't help but smell a mare on him from all the way over here
>Heh...
>What a slu--
>Another stallion whimpered, as the human rolled his shoulders
>You all flinched as you heard bones popping, and you couldn't help but notice the smell of urine in the air
>Anon said nothing for a long while as he looked around at all of you
>...
>Did...
>Did he want an apology?
>Did he want to hear you all apologize?
>Because if that's what he wanted then--
>Reaching behind his back, Anon produced a rolling pin from... somewhere
>But this wasn't just any rolling pin
>It must have been the size of your leg and just a bit thicker, with strong steel handles
>...
>Oh buck...
>Oh buck...
>You all were gonna die...
>Anon was going to beat you all to death with that...
>...
>That gypsy was right after all
>"You know," Anon said, giving his weapon as practice swing. "I'm not very happy with you guys. What with you destroying my place and all."
>He took a step forward
>Not wanting to be the first casualty, you all bunched up as much as you could against the wall

>>28055028
It's pool noodle all over again!

>>28055028
>Anon grinned at the sight
>It wasn't a very nice grin
>It wasn't very nice even a little bit
>"I know you all are gonna get in trouble, pay fines and all that shit, but I thought that before they hauled you up to Canterlot I'd get a bit of self-satisfaction."
>As the big monkey took another step forward somepony finally managed to find his voice
>"Y-You can't d-do anything to u-us. If y-you do we--"
>The stallion's mouth snapped shut as Anon ripped one of the handles of the rolling pin clean off and tossed the piece of metal behind him
>"Actually, that's not entirely true my little horse friend," he said, taking another step forward. "See, I have three mares back at my place that'll swear that I spent the whole night in bed with them. Creditable mares, respected mares. One which I ate out until she passed out."
>Tapping the end of the rolling pin against his shoulder, he crouched down
>"And that, my friends, means that I have until the sun's up to do whatever I want with all of you."
>...
>You gulped as about a dozen stallions whimpered in fear
>The smell of pee grew stronger
>Yep
>You all were bucked...
>Anon looked down at his rolling pin
>"You know, a couple of hours ago I probably would have beaten a few of you to death--"
>Ohmygoshyoucouldseethelightanditwasred!
>"--but I kinda had a little pep talk and some snuggles so I calmed down just a little bit."
>He took a deep breath, settling his weight on his heels
>"So I'll give you all a choice," he said, drumming his fingers against his weapon. "You either get this thing shoved up where the sun don't shine or I get to sock you in the face."
>...
>What?
"W-What?" you managed to croak out
>Anon looked over at me
>"You heard me," he calmly said. "You all are gonna line up and either let me smack you in the face or sodomize you."

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>>28055047
>...
>You all said nothing
>You waited for him to start laughing
>To say that it was all a joke and he just wanted you all to say you're sorry
>But that never came
>He didn't start laughing, he didn't crack a smile
>He just continued to look at you all with rolling pin in hand
>...
>He...
>He was serious wasn't he...
>He wanted you to--
>"Well, it looks like we're done for, ol' chaps!"
>You all turned to see Princess Celestia standing among you
>She was wearing a pair of thick-rimmed glasses and a fake, bushy mustache
>...
>But that was it
>...
>You could see her horn, her wings, her cutiemark...
>...
>What the buck...
>The princess sighed as you all stood there, confusion replacing fear
>"Ah well, if we gotta face the music may as 'ell go about it with a stiff upper lip an' all that," she said in the FAKEST Trottingham accent that you've ever heard
>You all said nothing as she waded through the crowd until she was standing in front of Anon, who looked just as confused as the rest of up
>"Alrighty then, let's get in with it 'en!" she chirped, turning around and presenting herself
>The tip of her horn glowed, and with a flash a gallon jug of lubricant appeared in Anon's hands
>"Be a good chap an' coat that sucker up?"
>She wiggled her backside as your eye twitched
>"An' made sure to be as rough as ya want. Take all that aggressive out on me ya big lug~"
>...
>...
>...
>You should have just taken up knitting instead of lifting
>Anon looked past the princess
>"You're first, Spark Plug" he said, pointing his rolling pin at the stallion. "Now get your butt over here or I'm coming over there."
>Princess Celestia giggled, waving her butt
>...
>You just hate EVERYTHING now...
>EVERYTHING...

>>28055081
Alright. Story's done. On to the next one.

>>28054882
>>Your back legs slapped together
>>Wetly, you couldn't help but notice
oh my

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>>28055081
kek
your fucking celestia man

>>28054882
>only one who didn't get a happy ending.
Well, that's not quite true. I believe Celestia didn't get one either.

>>28055315
>Well, that's not quite true. I believe Celestia didn't get one either.

She's in the cell with Anon, I'm sure he'll get to her last.

>>28054906
>buried his face into your tuft and began to pull at your hair with his teeth
Is this horse/pony behaviour?

>>28055089
Nicely done, LaP. I especially like how your Celestia just doesn't give a shit what happens around her one way or another.

>>28055081
kek, perhaps I spoke too soon.

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>Ponies see Anon as the prototypical 'Green-skinned alien babe', with all that entails
>But he doesn't spend his time laying on stacks of pillows, or daintily eating fruits while eunuchs fan him with giant leaves
>He's actually a bit of a redneck
>This causes them no end of consternation

>>28055081
>>28055089
And now all I want is for this Celestia to try and get into the herd since Anon has the strength to give her the BDSM she desperately wants.

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>>28056304
>>He's actually a bit of a redneck
>AJ is in love at first sight.

>>28055089
I fucking lost it when Celestia showed up there, My laptop almost fell off of me as I rolled on my bed, laughing my arse off.

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That's the proper way for a stallion to eat a donut. Don't be a stick in the mud, Anon. Show your studdy side when you're in public.

>>28056329
>When Anon introduced himself only to have a whisky induced belch halfway through, Applejack knew she had found her husband.

>>28056570
I laughed way too hard at this

I wrote a Bombshell thing. I intended for this to be shorter but then I was me and it got longer. Here it is.

"Oop – Just-... just a sec!" you yell in the direction of your front door, worrying in place a moment before deciding to just set the glass in your hand down on the kitchen counter.
>You briskly round the living room couch and take a peek out of your front window as you pass it, spotting two earth pony mares, both light brown, and light blue Pegasus mare standing patiently on your front stoop.
>You recognized the latter-most as West Wind.
>Or… ‘something-or-other’ Wind…
>You’ve met her before but never spent much time conversing.
>You couldn’t name the other two but were quite sure, given the fact they were with the pegasus, that that they were part of Sea Shell’s little gal-pal group, or at least extended members.
>You’d say friends, but friends might be a little strong.
>From the time you’d been spending with your partner you’d come to learn that her ‘friends’ weren’t always very friendly.
>This wasn’t always the case, certainly, but Shell had always been on the trusting and naive side, and a lot of people were great at taking advantage of things like that.
>Ponies too, apparently.
>Still, there was no point in making assumptions.
>All you could really glean about them individually at this point was that your marefriend knew them, and all that meant was that you should treat them nicely and put on a good show.
>You take a cursory glance down at your person, swiping your hands fruitlessly at your spotless shirt and pants a few times before pulling the door open to meet your guests.
“Oh, Miss Wind?” You say with some surprise, as if you weren’t just preening yourself like anxious housewife, “It’s been a while.”
>”Oh, ah… hello Anonymous.” The blue pegasus replies, quickly smiling at you.

>>28056825

>Her companions mirror her words and then her actions, even as she leans to the side as if to try and get a better view into the house before going on.
“There… something I can do for you?” You ask, cracking a smile of your own and casting a cursory glance farther into the house, trying to see what they were looking for.
>”Uhh, sorry. We were just wondering, uhh…” she blue pegasus starts cautiously, trading looks with her partners a moment, “Is Bombshell around?”
“Oh, uh, yeah, yeah she’s here. C’mon in.” You say graciously, stepping away from the door to allow them passage.
“She’s off in the back. She’s a little busy right now, but I’ll go and tell her you’re all h—“
>”Ahh, no-no-no, that’s fine, that’s good. Actually, uhh… we were wanting to talk to YOU.” The blue – Whirlwind—her name is Whirlwind—says, stepping inside along with her earth pony friends.
“Me?” you say with some confusion, stopping yourself short on your journey to find your significant other.
>You’ve barely even met.
>Why do they want with you?
>”Yeah. We wanted to talk to you about something important that we thought you should know. Do you, uhh… do you have a place to sit down or something?” Whirlwind asks, swiveling her head in place.
>Her two earth pony friends look fairly composed, but she herself seems hung up on something, anxious.
“Oh, yeah sure. Here, take a seat right here on the couch. I’ll get you girls something to drink.”
>”Thanks, thanks.” Whirlwind replies, shooting another look to her friends before draw up to the couch in the center of the living room.
>You note the tension in her voice as you retreat to the kitchen.
>You can hear her and her friends conversing under their breath about something but you don’t stop to try and listen in.
>Instead, you ponder the ‘drink’ situation as you stand in front of your open fridge.
>No juice, and you drank the last of the milk yesterday.

>>28056833

>The icecube trays were all water, too; they went into the lemonade you’d left sitting on the counter when you went to the answer the door.
>It still sat atop the counter to your left, sweating profusely in the summer heat, cool and tantalizing and just waiting to be delivered to your hard-working little lady.
>That very same pony crosses the rear kitchen window as you think of her, stopping immediately when she sees you inside.
>The biggest smile breaks out on her sweat-drenched face and she waves spiritedly at you, her twin pair of rolled up jacket sleeves falling loose and flapping over her hoof.
>You wanted to help her with the painting, but she INSISTED that she do it herself, being the ‘mare’ and all.
>She even waxed valiantly about how many houses and such she’d painted before, going on to say that she was an expert at it by now.
>You only grinned and nodded, noting how she scrutinized the directions on the paint cans before reluctantly going to the closet in your room and putting on two heavy coats, wrapping her already warm body in extra layers.
>She beamed so honestly when you admired her so-called ‘expert understanding’ of painting etiquette that you didn’t have the heart to tell her, not even close to enough cruelty to shatter her confidence, even if she was going to be dreadfully uncomfortable for it for a few hours.
>Who could do something like that while looking into those eyes?
>She’s still waving, so you give her a little wave in return, mouthing a ‘heeeeeeeey’ in response under your breath.
>Her eyes widen a little when she spots the ponies in the living room behind you.
>”Hoh! ‘Ah bee in inna’ minuh’! Just gattuh’ finish dis’ last wull!” she mouths around the paintbrush in her mouth, her words muffled behind the glass.
>You nod, sending her off to finish her work.

>>28056842

>As she turns you can see all the eggshell-white splotches on her wings, neck and flank where she spilled some, the color standing out against her soft yellow coat.
>Once she fully vanishes you turn back to the sweating glass on the counter, frowning a little.
>…
>Well, they WERE guests…
>It’s not a big deal.
>You can go to the store after they leave and pick up some more ice and lemons.
>She’ll understand; she’s sweet like that.
>Without further deliberation you pull open the drawer nearest to the sink and pull out two extra straws, planting them next to the single one already swimming in the glass.
>You take that same glass into your hand and carry it into the living room, drawing your visitor’s attention as you set it down before them.
“Sorry about this. Haven’t gone to the store in a while so we’re a little short on, uh… everything.” You say sheepishly, chuckling.
>They laugh softly too, but none of them make to take a sip from the glass, not even as you take your own seat in the chair opposite them.
>Instead they trade cryptic looks with each other, forcing you to wait a while before Whirlwind speaks up.
>”Uhh, listen, Anon? We thought we should say… you’re a good colt. Real nice an’ all that. And we like Bombshell and all, but…“ she begins, her face twisted slightly with what appeared to be concern, “we’ve been talking, and we don’t think this ‘thing’ you’ve got going on is gonna work…”
>Your brow furrows at their unexpected statement, distant parts of your heat-addled mind ticking to life in order to sort out what they mean.
>Noticing your expression Whirlwind begins to clarify in a hasty manner.

>>28056867

>”Look, Bombshell’s never been in a herd before. In fact, before you she’d never even been with a stallion. We didn’t know how things would go after you two got together, but at this point we’re starting to worry. I mean, it’s been over three weeks and she hasn’t found a single extra mare to join you yet.” Whirlwind goes on, turning her head back to her friends for support.
>The brown-coated mare with green eyes and a light blonde mane took this time to pop in to the conversation.
>”We wanted to assume the best, but none of us ever really thought that a mare like Bombshell would be Alpha-Mare material, and it looks like we were right. Has she even spoken to you about more herdmates? And what about that job of hers at the soda fountain? Can that really support the both of you?”
>You want to open your mouth to speak, but the third member chirps to life now, the other brown-coated mare, this one with blue eyes and a teal mane.
>She’s easily the most aggressive of the three.
>”Look, I don’t know you so well, but I know Bombshell, and she’s just not up to snuff. You gatta’ consider what’s best for you and your foals. You need to think about expanding your herd or kicking her to the curb, or both. There’s a LOT of mares out there that would appreciate you and treat you way better than she ever could.”
>You were starting to hate the way they were saying ‘Bombshell’.
>You’d gotten used to Sea Shell’s inner circle calling her that, and even you did it sometimes.
>You thought it was cute, even if it was used to tease her on occasion.
>This wasn’t teasing.
>They said it with more than a hint of derision in their voice, and not once had they elected for Sea Shell instead.
>They could’ve replaced it with the word ‘dumbass’ or ‘fugly’ and their tone of voice wouldn’t need to change much.
>At first you thought that they were just misguided busybodies.
>THAT you might be able to understand.

>>28056883

>But the implication you felt in the last pony’s words were starting to rile you.
>Whirlwind speaks up again, eager to lighten the mood a little but nevertheless following the same thread, the same notion that was starting to piss you right off.
>”We’re just trying to look out for you. Bombshell, too. If she doesn’t realize how things are and step down herself, then you really should get a new alpha. Even if she doesn’t approve. There are lots of mares out there that would love to be in a herd with you.”
>”Yeah,” the blue-maned mare agrees, leaning back into the couch confidently, “You aren’t bad-looking for a minotaur. Any mare worth her teats would snatch you up in a second if you let’em, no question.”
>The third guest and second brown-coated mare makes a sound of agreement, nodding her head before speaking.
>“Have you even shopped around? There are mares all over the place that would love to spend their every bit on you for just a little attention. Way more than what ol’ BOMBSHELL would ever be worth. You could do so much better.”
>You stand slowly from your chair, and all three of them watch you rise.
>You put on your sultriest expression, hiding your hands behind your back.
>You were starting to do that ‘thing’ where you clicked your nails against each other in irritation, and you didn’t want to give yourself away before you drew out the REAL clincher to this little visit.
“… Mm, and I bet you beautiful, strong ladies know JUST where I should look for some better mares, don’t you?” you say seductively, using the false intent in your voice to hide the spite bubbling over inside you.
>Their faces all instantly become more relaxed as your attitude becomes more receptive.
>All three of them rush in, never noticing how high they were climbing on your shit list.
>”Weeell,” Whirlwind trails off, smiling slyly as she looks away, “you could say we’re in the market.”

>>28056895

>”See? You were all worried, be he totally understands. He knows there’s bigger fish out there, don’t you babe?” The blond-maned mare says confidently, ignorant to the single small twitch the last word triggers in the corner of your mouth.
>The last guest speaks up next, leaning forward to take the lemonade glass sitting on the table into her hoof.
>”You know… me and the gals share a nice big place on Sandhoof Avenue.” She says, wetting her lips with her tongue as you approach her.
>You aren’t ignorant to how she observes your currently eye-level package, weakly camouflaging the act by pretending she was examining the straws floating in the drink.
>”You should come down and see it. Get outta’ this hovel for a few hours. Maybe get a taste of what a real mare can offer you…Whaddaya’ say?” she continues without shame, now openly eyeing your junk in a similar fit of shamelessness as she moves to sip from one of the straws.
>You stop her by reaching out and wrapping a hand around the rim of the cool glass, eliciting a confused look from her as you guide the straws away from her reaching lips.
>With a meagre amount of effort you slowly pry the drink out of her hooves and bring it up to your chest to inspect it.
>All of their eyes watch you expectantly and you can’t wait any more.
“The answer is no.” you say as coldly and dismissively as possible, your flirty demeanor dropped in a second for chilly disgust.
>You relish in the realization dawning in their faces in the moments to follow, each one of them opening their mouths to say something but failing.
>You target the extra, wholly unnecessary straws in the glass in your hand at a rate you assume must be agonizingly slow for them.
>You pull one up, tap the wet bottom on the edge of the glass to avoid spillage, hold it out to your side, and then drop it onto the coffee table below.

>>28056899

>You do this a second time, and they can no longer meet your gaze as you discard it in an identical fashion, leaving one straw in the refreshing drink.
>The only one you needed.
>It was a swirly pink and purple thing with a dozen loop-dee-loops and swirls; Sea Shell’s favorite.
>You were glad you got to the drink before any one of them could put their insufferable mouths around it.
>You stay only a moment more, never breaking your stony glare on them even though they now refused to look at you but through cautious cuts of their eyes.
>You tilt you head in an obvious enough fashion for them to notice, motioning to the front door.
”Well?” you begin obviously, gaining their crumbling attentions back, “Get out.”
>”A-Anon we weren’t – we weren’t actually—“ Whirlwind begins worriedly, but you can’t believe a single syllable of her broken-off speech.
>You saw the way they were ogling you, and you knew how things ‘worked’ around here when it came to relationships.
>You’d probably had herd politics explained to you a million-million times, one for every time you mentioned that humans were generally monogamous.
>You knew it wasn’t odd for mares outside the ‘group’ to proposition the so-called ‘alpha’ and her head male partner, sometimes even focusing on the latter more than the former for entrance.
>If that’s what they were doing then you might have politely declined; no thanks, but thank you, I understand.
>They weren’t trying to do that.
>In fact, Sea Shell’s so-called ‘friends’ had made it very clear who would and WOULDN’T be welcome in the relationship.
>You didn’t know for sure what was going to happen in the future, but as long as things were the way they were with you and Sea Shell then her admittance into the group was non-negotiable, and these girls had just shown you their true colors.

>>28056906

>You’re already leaving them for the kitchen, aiming for the joining door that led into the small back yard where Sea Shell was.
>”I’m bringing my marefriend her drink; If you’re still in my house when I get back there’s going to be trouble.” You promise in a darkly casual fashion, biting down your anger as best you could as you crossed through the door.
>The sun burns your brow as you step outside, but not nearly as bad as it must be cooking the cream-colored Pegasus wrapped up in the double layers of clothing fluttering ahead of you.
>As you step down off of the back stoop your turn to admire her work and give yourself a moment to calm down, pressing your back up again the tall wooden fence a foot away from the rear door.
>As much paint as she was getting on herself, the stuff that had actually ended up on the house looked almost as perfect as it could be.
>Her strokes were even, no messy rivulets or lines, and the windows—which you admit to yourself with some guilt you were surprised to hadn’t painted shut—had a clear, even coat, which all the nooks and crannies filled in without smudging.
>She’d worked herself to the bone to make it look perfect, and she was almost done with the first coat.
>The Pegasus was hovering above you, brushing away at the upper right corner with the tool in her mouth, a bucket of clear white paint hanging off of her neck.
>You’re still angry, but the sight of her face transforming from scrunched determination to warm happiness when she finds you outside looking up at her eases your mind considerably.
>Sea Shell flutters to eye level, setting her brush inside the paint can.
>”Hey Anon! I’m allllllmost done. I’ll be in in a sec. I hope those girls aren’t being too rowdy in there!” she says spiritedly.
>You offer the glass to her when she doesn’t reach for it herself.

>>28056919

>She thanks you and leans in, taking the drink and darkening the straw with three big gulps as the distant sound of your front door slamming only just catches your ear.
“Oh, don’t worry,” you say calmly as her right ear swivels towards the sound, “I can handle them just fine.”
>Before she can inquire about the sound you speak up again.
“It was a short visit, unfortunately. I think they had something to do.”
>”Oh… that right?” Sea Shell says, your heart sinking a little at the clear disappointment in her voice.
>There’s a moment of silence as she sucks up another few gulps from her glass, sighing as the ice-cold fluid runs down her throat.
>”Well, it’s probably for the best. It’s pretty hot today. Maybe they needed to take a cold shower or something?”
>You can’t stop the mean little grin that starts to break out on your mouth.
>”…Ohh, I’m sure it’s something like that, sweetheart.” You reply, watching as she takes her drink and flutters in the direction opposite you, peering around the side of the house.
>You follow her, and in the distance you spot your three ex house guests trotting down the road from your house, seemingly locked in a heated conversation out of earshot.
>”Bye! Bye guys! I’ll talk to you some other time!” your lover shouts, lifting her free hoof and waving it over her head.
>She receives mixed reactions, the two brown mares largely going out of their way to ignore her while the blue pegasus Whirlwind can only wave in a reserved, timid fashion; she can’t look Sea Shell in the eye.
>Maybe it’s because of the death glare you’re firing the three of them over her shoulder.
>Between them ignoring her or pretending like everything was normal you didn’t know what was more irritating.
>An idea suddenly comes to mind, born from a healthy dose of just outrage and satisfying pettiness.
>”Babe?” you say, still eying the three ponies in the distance.

>>28056304
>>28056329
>>28056570
Writefags? A thousand dick-sucks to whomever writes this.

>>28056927

>She turns to acknowledge you, humming in affirmative sound as she sips from her straw.
>”Can you open your mouth? Just a little?” you continue, reaching out to liberate her of the heavy can hanging around her neck.
>She swallows, letting you slip the handle over her head and set the paint on the ground.
>”My mouth?” she replies, prompting you to lift your hand, creating a thin space between your fore-finger and thumb to demonstrate.
>”Just a little bit.” You reiterate.
>”Ligh theh?” she replies, doing as you ask, you target waggling visibly inside her mouth as she speaks.
>You shoot a glance at your retreating visitors, noticing that at all of them are at least watching you out of the corner of their eyes.
”Yeah, that’s perfect…” you say, and a moment later you collect the back of her head in your palm and crush your lips against hers, eagerly attacking her mouth.
>You make SURE that your tongue is clearly visible invading her parted lips.
>”M-Mm—!?” she hums, caught off guard by your sudden, needy assault.
>You can feel their eyes on you.
>You tug the zipper down on one jacket, and then the other, freeing her strumming chest to your invading hand so that you can unabashedly grope the thick tuft of fur that was slowly but surely flaring under your touch.
>The moment her still tongue begins to shape up and attempt to fight back you pull away, your hands still gently squeezing and kneading her mane and chest.
>”W-Wha…?” she tries, completely ignorant to the three flabbergasted ponies behind her that just got back-row seats to your heated display.
“Let’s have sex.” You say casually, enjoying the gratifying sight of her priorly un-agitated wings stiffening and twitching slightly from you ministrations.
>”S-sex?“ she squeaks, flustered, her face burning even more intensely.

>>28056937

”Yes.” You continue simply as you hook your chest-hand’s fingers around the zipped lower portions of her jackets and pull, leading her further down the small path sandwiched in between the back wall of your house and tall wooden fences that separated your property from the neighbors’, “Finish up your drink.”
>”Buh-but…” she returns, slightly dazed, her eyes turning from you to find the single bit of chipping, broken up corner that she had yet to finish coating in the upper right of the house.
>You steal her attention back with a quick kiss that was less intense than the one a moment ago but still clearly impassioned.
“It’s fine.” Your assure, pulling your fingers down and unzipping her jackets fully, “We’re going to fuck in the back yard. Okay?”
>Her face burns even more at this.
>There’s a pause where she swallows nervously and whips her head around, making absolutely sure that nopony could see her right now.
>Eventually she returns her gaze to you, clearly entranced by your sudden rashness even if she was embarrassed.
>”… O-… Okay…”

>>28056947

That's that. Hope you guys enjoyed, and I'll be adding it to my pastebin in a sec. Be sure to tell me about any spelling error and whatnot, as well as what you thought. Hope you enjoyed.

http://pastebin.com/u/tANDghouls

ghouls is the lewdest ghost I've ever seen

>>28056984
why you talkin bout ghosts smoothskin?

>>28057027
He'd better have a reason for standing in his shadow.

>>28056977
Good stuff, ghouls can I call you "Set"?. Good pacing and I liked the way you portrayed those three mares.

>>28056304
>>28056329
>>28056570
I NEED IT.

Mainly because Applejack could use more love and this sounds hilarious.

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>>28056825
>I wrote a Bombshell thing
I am extraordinarily pleased

>>28057254
First that picture was bad, then I realised the guy was Daredevil. Then it was double bad.

>>28057175
Wrong, and wrong. She's not even a canon redneck.

>>28056937
>“Let’s have sex.”
I laughed.

>>28056977
That was great, I wouldn't be opposed to more Seashell shorts.

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>>28057302
It's fine, Anon. If you can't look at yourself in the mirror and laugh then life's not worth living.

>>28055089
Wait, that's the endingFor reals?

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>>28057175
needs it

>>28057441
appul is a pony to love and cherish above all others

>>28057441
>>28057460
>Family mare
>Works all day tirelessly to support her older brother, younger sister, and aging grandma
>Has a strong sense of right and wrong
>Honesty & duty first
10/10 least likely to divorce your ass and gain custody over your dog for the sole purpose of going to the vet and putting it down just to spite you.

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>>28057506
To be honest, I'd be most interested in Dash and Applejack.

Loyalty and Honesty.
Fluttershy is up there too due to Kindness.

>>28057514
Loyalty and Honesty seem kinda backwards there. one of the few things I agree with FiM on

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>>28057514
I'd fuck em all.

>>28057559
Yeah. They all kind of embody good virtues, don't they?

>>28056984
>>28057027
I'm definitely a lewd something.

>>28057151
Thanks much, glad you enjoyed. And you can call me whatever you want, Anon. I think we've reached that point in our relationship.

>>28057254
I might be a little late for last thread's bombshell OP, but I'm glad you liked it anyways. Also, that image. Fukkin saved.

>>28057401
Thanks for reading man, glad you enjoyed it. And I agree, Bombshell is a fun concept that's pretty easy to write, so I hope there's more in the future.

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>>28057601
>lewd ghosts
>lewd ghouls from fallout
im fine with either.

>Anon is strolling around town on a hot day
>His shorts ride up a bit and mares see his boxers
>Nosebleeds everywhere

>>28058598
l-lewd

>>28056977
That was lewd. I liked it

Got a question, should I make cristalis celestia's friend?

The implication being celestia set up the invasion so that cadence would be shining princess in shining armor and save him on their wedding day, with a partial side effect of turning a boring event into something exciting?

I have a part of a plan, but nothing set in stone for this.

>>28058617
Learn to spell Chrysleris first

>>28058617
>princess in shining armor

giggity

>>28058697
Yea, I rely heavily on spell check to catch shit as I never notice it myself, especially as late as it is when I get time to do stuff. Apparently the way I spelled it this time was an actual other word.

>>28056977
Nice little thing ghouls

I also finished first impression
holy shit that was good

>Thunder follows lighting in a stormy night.
>A stallion walks through the streets of ponyville, holding a small crying foal on his back.
>A weak little baby, only a few weeks old.
>It’s far too late for any pony to be out and about at this time.
>Let alone a stallion with a small filly.
>Perfect time for what the stallion was about to do.
>”I’m sorry, I can’t take care you, you have to understand.”
>The baby can’t understand
>She continues to cry, asking some parent to hold her.
>”This is all your mothers fault! Don’t blame me!”
>Despite the cover, the rain easily seeps in to it’s basket.
>The baby simply squirms helplessly.
>The stallion runs up and down streets, between houses.
>”Ugh! Shut up already! If I could just find a house with a cover I could just leave you!”
>Although the baby doesn’t understand what the parent is saying, it understands the sentiment.
>This just makes her cry harder.
>”Hah! There’s one!”
>A small two-story house sits alone, far away from the other houses.
>Like it was an unwanted after thought to the town.
>The stallion quickly moves towards the dimly lit house.
>He puts the basket with the small child in front of the door on the stranger’s porch.
>The filly thinks it will finally receive the love it needs, but the stallion doesn’t even look the baby in the eyes before walking away.
>The baby looks around for a parent
>Somepony to give her some warmth, as the cold is becoming unbearable.
>Her tiny mind simply doesn’t understand what is happening, and she shivers.
>She begins to cry instinctively huddling into her basket for warmth.
>The cold is unbearable and it’s not letting up.
>She doesn’t know what to do, other than cry and hope somepony turns up.
>Her crying quiets down, as the cold is too much for her.
>She just doesn’t have the energy to cry.
>Closing her eyes, she gently cries, unaware of what to do.
>Then suddenly, as if a blessing from Celestia herself.

>>28058892
>The lights of the house turn on.
>She opens her eyes, and there is a warm yellow glow around the door.
>She sniffles a few times and cries a little.
>The door opens, and the inside warmth warms her tiny body.
>At the door stands the shadow of an odd creature, something the tiny pony had never seen before.
>Two long slender legs that join at an arch to form a long body that ends with a head.
>Two more slender leg like appendages stick out the sides.
>The appendages have appendages too.
>It has these set of appendages arc, resting where it’s long legs meet.
>The little filly sniffles and babbles to try and explain it’s condition.
>The creature looks where the sound is coming from and sees the basket
>He kneels down and presses his alien face into the baby.
>Though his features are alien, he seems similar enough for the small baby to see the kindness in his eyes.
>”Babe? I’m AiE.”
>It says to the small child, obviously understanding it doesn’t understand.
>But his tone of voice is kind and caring.
>The small child babbles and sniffles.
>”You were alone? Didn’t you get to bring parents?”
>The baby sniffles and moans, while waving it’s hooves around.
>”No. I’m just wondering why someone would have a baby, before throwing it on a door step.”
>The ‘Anonymous’ rubs two fingers on the fillies cheeks.
>Feeling the warmth of his appendages, the baby grabs the hand with it’s two weak hooves.
>”Let’s get you inside, I’ll call it in.”
>Anonymous picks up the baby as gentle as he could, and brings her inside the small warm home.
>He puts her basket aside, and closes the door.
>The baby sniffles nuzzling the creature who’s giving her the love she hadn’t received yet from anypony else.
>The large creature sits in front of the fireplace, and discards her soaked blankets.
>He lays the child on his lap, and stokes the fire.
>The fire rises.

>>28058904

>The baby feels the warmth from the fireplace, drying it’s damp fur.
>The baby still clings to the creature; Celestia knows when he will be taken away too.
>Anonymous rubs the babies belly with his smaller appendages.
>The babies belly is no larger than the part where the 5 smaller limbs meet.
>Feeling the soft flesh trace her sensitive belly, the baby happily mumbles.
>Finally feeling loved by somepony.
>”Don’t worry, you’re the first to stay on my aircraft.”
>The small pony holds the arm of the creature with it’s hooves.
>The creature gets up, the child worries as it’s put on the ground.
>She is too young to sit properly, so she lays on her side.
>Anonymous quickly picks up the baby again, and cradles her to the kitchen.
>The creature heats some milk to a gentle temperature.
>The baby who’s eyes and coat have dried, now happily mumbles away over the creatures shoulder.
>Somehow, her hoof always finds itself into her mouth.
>With a glass milk, and a straw, the creature sits back down on his couch.
>It sets the milk on the table.
>A flash of lighting and thunder shakes the world around them.
>The baby tries to burrow itself into it’s alien care taker.
>”It’s ok, I’ll be a big guy.”
>He nuzzles the foal, and she tries to jam herself into his neck.
>"For you."
>Calm and mumbling, the baby leans back on the creatures arm.
>it gets the glass of room temperature milk, and straw.
>The baby understands how to drink milk, but with a nipple.
>The creature simulates a nipple by pinching the straw when the baby sucks to prevent her breathing the milk.
>Soon, the hungry child finishes her milk.
>In front of the fireplace, she soon falls asleep in the creature’s arms.
>It watches over the filly, rubbing it’s belly to comfort it.
>Until he too is asleep.

That's where we ended last time. I edited a bit, but it's mostly the same.

>>28058911

>It’s too early for the human to be awake.
>The sun is still up.
>The human opens his tired eyes.
>He can’t remember much from the night before.
>He thinks he remembers, the mercenary, CIA? Someone’s master plan! Crashed plane! NO SURVIVORS!
>He scans the area expecting masked men, only to find he is in the safety of his house and the fireplace burnt itself out.
>Looking around and stretching, he wonders why he fell asleep on the couch.
>usually he falls asleep behind the couch.
>On his lap, a small filly stirs.
>She opens her big eyes to the kind face from the night before.
>She babbles and waves her hooves around.
>”Woah! What’s that?”
>Alarmed, he look around, for the source of infant noises.
>The tiny little filly squirms on the humans lap.
>Happy and smiling with no care for anything.
>She looks up mumbling at the creature who had given her more love in one night than anypony else.
>”Oh yea! You! Mosquito brought you! You’re my prize. But you were alone? You didn’t get to bring friends?”
>The baby points a hoof at the creature speaking vaguely in an alien language.
>”So... How are you?”
>He obviously never having taken care of an infant is not sure of what to do.
>The baby babbles smiling up at the human.
>He lowers his head with a confused look at places his head nose to snout with the baby.
>The baby thinks he’s playing with her.
>She just barely moves her head and opens her tiny mouth, before placing it on his nose and giving the closest thing to a kiss.
>Anon shivers a little, blushing, he’s taken back.
>He can’t help smile softly at the squirming, babbling ball of pale pink fur.
>He rubs his cheek on the babies, and she does the same.
>Her fur is softer than anything he’s ever felt. Fuzzy but doesn’t poke at all.
>Anon moves away and the baby looks up at him with wide eyes.
>”C’mon. Let’s see if you have any loot in that thing.”

>>28058920

>He picks the baby up and shoulders her.
>”You have wings? Ayy, this baby’s fly.”
>He picks the baby up and shoulders her.
>”You have wings? Ayy, this baby’s fly.”
>The human gently pulls the babies delicate wings out and runs his fingers over them.
>His action makes the little filly giggle, and she outstretches her wings as best as her weak muscles allow.
>The creature carries the baby outstretched in his long arms.
>”ONE DAY! YOU WILL FLY!”
>This finally makes the baby laugh.
>Her tiny voice is soft and her smile is wide as the sky.
>*SNIFF*
>*SNIFF*
>”Did you poop?!”
>Anonymous curls his nose in disgust, and the baby notices.
>She puts up two of her tiny hoofsies and hides behind them blushing.
>”OHH! Don’t worry about it! Let’s see if I can change you.”
>He carries the baby over to her carrier.
>The baby doesn’t want to go near her carrier, she mumbles, scared.
>Attempting to barrow into her new guardian.
>”Don’t worry little guy. You’re not going back in there.”
>He straddles the worried little filly on his leg as he crouches down to look at the carrier.
>She seems OK for now, though she’s not babbling happily as she was.
>Anonymous runs a hand over the babies back to soothe the filly.
>His other hands goes through the thick carrier, stripping it for anything useful.
>He finds 2 blankets, a blanket and bedding.
>Then on further inspection, he finds a small storage compartment and opens it.
>Inside there is a stack of diapers, a baby bottle, a box of baby wipes, and another closed box of assorted things.
>”Bingo.”
>The baby is back to babbling.
>”Hold up.”

>>28058926

>The creature raises his hands to in front of his face, then makes a hoop with his left index finger and thumb while holding the other one flat
>He shows satisfaction on his face and looks away at an angle for a while as if people are watching him.
>Then he returns to work, as if he’s not just done something completely out of the ordinary.
>He focuses back on the infant who has meanwhile been trying to replicate the human’s action.
>Her hooves hover in front of her, one turned like his right hand and the other held in front of her.
>”Yes. When the supplies just right.”
>The baby doesn’t understand, but smiles at the approval of it’s guardian.
>He stands up with the baby, holding the supplies awkwardly to make sure the baby is safe.
>Stumbling slowly into his bedroom, he folds out the blanket on the double bed.
>The places everything else around it.
>He talks the baby to his bathroom and places her on the sink edge.
>”I know it’s cold, but so is the world MAN!”
>Despite the cold counter, and the alien’s nonsensical speech, the baby continues babbling happily.
>”If all goes well, I’m keeping you.”
>He opens her diaper; she raises her legs to make it easy for him to remove it.
>”Oh! You’re a girl!”
>He is surprised by this revelation.
>He then turns away and looks down towards the ground
>”No! Bad ! Stop that! Stop that!”
>The human argues with an invisible person for a while longer.
>Meanwhile, the little filly giggles at the humans weird outbursts.
>He turns back eventually
>”Don’t tell Mr Hansen.”
>Then he gets back to the job.
>”Now then. Let’s do this.”
>He turns away, takes a breath and gets to work.
>---

>>28058932

>After washing his hands for the 12th time, he still doesn’t feel clean.
>He threw the dirty diaper directly into the garbage bin outside his bathroom.
>He wipes his hands on a hanging towel and feels the awfully dry skin.
>Still, everything went well.
>The wipes and sink made everything very simple.
>And the little filly was perfect to work on.
>Now she’s laying on the towel on the bed.
>Her toothless mouth chews on the hoof that has found it’s way in her mouth again.
>The filly watches the human walk around.
>She mumbles while following his every move.
>Eventually, he walks back to the baby, and works on putting a diaper on her.
>Gently, he ties a fresh diaper around her small body.
>Making sure to powder to prevent a rash forming, and making sure he did a good job wiping.
>Soon, he is satisfied with his work, and stands over a clean baby.
>”MISSION ACOMPLISHED!”
>He exclaims while holding his hand out with a thumb in the air.
>The baby sees his toothy smile and smiles herself copying the human.
>She thrust out a hoof, as if she had fingers.
>She holds an open mouth smile.
>The human, smiles at her and rubs his hand over hear head.
>Her ears recline down as he rubs her head, then rise back up when he moves out of the way.
>His other hand gently rubs her sensitive belly.
>She calmly, happily squirms and babbles.
>>”maff, dah.”
>”Yes! Mazda! Buy a miata! Just enough room for us two.”
>The alien makes nonsensical sense of the baby’s idle babbles.
>Soon, they make their way to the kitchen, where the large Alien places the baby wrapped in a blanket on the table.
>He gets to work preparing some milk for the baby and something for himself.
>The baby continues idly babbling.
>>”Blad! Yaa!”
>”CYKA BLYAT! CYKA!”
>Anon responds to the baby as if their speaking, despite neither understanding each other.

>>28058938

>>”Waa, phht!”
>”Top post.”
>He cleans the bottle that he found in the carrier.
>He makes sure it no less than sparkles.
>>”Baah, daah.”
>”I know, it’s awful.”
>He heats milk to the perfect temperature.
>Then he fills the bottle.
>>”Maaah. Daaah.”
>”Don’t worry, I got your fix right here.”
>He checks the temperature of the milk by placing some on his wrist.
>Then he walks over to the happily babbling baby.
>Despite not being bound at all, she didn’t move around the table.
>”Got milk?!”
>The baby looks into the eyes of the human.
>Her big blue pupils could melt a glacier.
>>”Daah, daah!”
>Anonymous immediately loses his fun attitude.
>He’s taken back, and takes a deep breath.
>His mouth quivers, and he takes a ragged breath.
>He bends down and hugs the baby, who returns as best as she can.
>He softly kisses the babies cheek and lifts his head.
>He looks in the babies eyes with his moist ones.
>”Yes. Da, da.”
>---

Assuming anyone is interested, I'll come back as soon as you guys decide on a name for adopted daughteroo.

>>28058946
Melon Medley for being too sweet (and for the sake of having a shortname "Meme")
There were many anons asking for it to contunue in previous threads, myself included

>>28058946
the bane posting is painful to read and derails the cuteness of the story

the anon's dialog makes no sense

>>28058946
As the Anonymous said, the dialogue for Anon in your story makes no sense and seems very forced. I suggest that you slip in references/memes occasionally to make the green a bit more "bearable"(?) to read. I like what you're doing so far with descriptors, though.

>>28058946
I agree with >>28059062 it makes me think Anon is retarded, but there are parts I liked. The last lines were VERY good.

>>28059003
I really like this name.

>>28058904
>>28058911
>>28058946
>Baneposting Anon story continues
YISS! Though you might want to make sure that Anon's lines make more clear sense contextually or it gets a bit too nonsensical and lolrandumb seeming. Really Anon replying to the foals babbles was the only bit that stood out as a bit much.

>>28056825
>it got longer
That's what he said.

>>28056947
>using other-mare-induced boners to fuck your horsewife
That's the way it's fukken done

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>>28058946
Anon had better drive a Baneblade.
Any other vehicle is unacceptable.

>>28056947
Sunburn ho!

>>28055081
Celestia da bestia right here.
Ponko is good too though, 1/1 would cuddle.

>>28054353
Humans being elder gods is fun.

>>28054350
>>28054177
>Most ponies do not believe Anon is real.
>They think he is just a marketing campaign for the next season of the show.
>This can get very frustrating.

>>28052725
>>28052715
>Implying mudpony
I'm more of a Celestia fan than a Berry Punch one too
Pretty pony princess poon
I fixed those pics up a bit, put in the tag and zipper for the costume
I should have put alicorn wings in but i didn't think of it, gotta make sure your pet character can beat up the others and all that

>>28052697
Benifits of horsemarriage: other ponies stop bugging you as much
Downsides of horsemarriage: The ones you horsemarried bug you more

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>>28059399
>>28052725
>>28052715
Oh right also thanks for the pics, it's sorta neat to be have a pony drawn of you.
Keep drawing shit, we like it.

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>>28058946
>
This is wonderful.
Please continue.

A new day, and that means: do you have anything for me to draw? Aside from a lewd ending or post-ending of ghouls Sea Shell short. Like I don't want to draw it by myself someday. He guessed all my fetishes

>>28059404
I was going to make a digital bonus with pencil-mare literally drawing that and durnk-unicorn-mare, and for every question about "why male, why earthpony, why with berry, what even is going on" pencil would get only "keep going" answer
Thanks

>>28058938
If thats elite beat agents, then I forgive every awful meme in this story

>>28059437
Bon-Bon leaping onto a (bad girl/criminal/whatever) patrol pony from behind, a garotte in her hooves.

>>28059437
A mare doing the old "Box-in-a-box" prank to Anon.
Anon digging a hole but ponies are trying to not let him.
Bane adopting a foal.
A bookpone going mad from the forbidden knowledge in Anon's house.
Taco the changeling being cute.
Daring Do trying to infiltrate the alien temple she found, with Anon having her arrested for breaking into his house and trying to steal his silverware.

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>>28059542
>mfw sunfags actually like this

>>28059558
>>28059542
I do not like or dislike it.
I can only feel PUDDI PUDDI

>>28059558
It's just Trump food-wrestling, you pasty faced Slav.

>>28057751
Your image awakes many feelings in me.

>>28058606
>>28059437
Ayy, thanks pencil. It never felt right asking for art of my own stuff since you probably have other things to work on. At the same time, I've always wanted some of it, so if you wanna make some of the Bombshell short I'd welcome it. Also, please feel free to elaborate on those fetishes at will so that I can make more shameless art bait for you in the future.

>>28058839
Glad you enjoyed it, man.

And wow, thanks for saying so. That's been my biggest project to date, so it's nice hearing that someone went and found it, let alone liked it.

>>28058946
>baneposting anon
I've heard about this, actually. I'll have to read this when it's not so late that it's early and I can comprehend words again.

>>28059350
D'ohoh, you scamp. I KNEW someone would point that out, or at least think it.

>>28059383
>hoes don't know I'm taken

>>28059399
When you're ready, you're READY.

Goodnight RGRE

I have failed all of you. I just accidentally closed this thread in my browser. That was the first time I was off this in 8 months. The time before was due to house fire. For a breef moment all I had was fear, I was afraid I had lost you all. I know it was unreasonable, but still. I've come to think of this place as home. The first thing I check when I wake up and the last thing I do before bed.
I think we're married.

>>28059718
You should probably restart your PC, mate.

>>28059437
Frosty's writefag herd. For the sake of making ApA-senpai into a pony
Also we probably haven't described a bunch of other members, have we? We know that ApA looks prim and proper, LaP looks swole, bnw is missing half of the time, ghouls is a ghost, Shuk probably is a milf being Venus' Dad in our counterpart, durnk is a drunk unicorn, CoolKids is the cool kid, pencil wears an artist's beret all the time, I'm the cute kohai that wears short skirts and thigh highs

>>28059731
I do but I also have a tablet. I'm always on

>>28059738
>I'm the cute kohai that wears short skirts and thigh highs
Lol no.
You're the voice of reason. You sit in the back and pipe up whenever someone (ApA and Durnk) start acting retarded. You rarely start your own conversations.

Everyone thinks you hate everyone else beside ApA and Durnk, too.

Pencil wears a beret, yes. But he is constantly talking about drawing & who he should ship together next.

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>>28051832
>You are walking down main street
>Cowboy hat firmly installed on head, mustache prominently attached to upper lip, sling shot hanging in your cross draw holster, deku nuts placed in your bandolier belt.
>Emblazoned on your knee length black duster, a large silver star.
>You are Anon. And you are the sheriff of this one horse pony town. The long arm of the law. The man.
“Mmmmmmm! Umf! Howdy sheriff!”
>Gawdammit, fucking Apple horse. You continue walking, crime waits for no man.
“Awww, don’t be like that! A’hve come to report a crime!”
>CRIME. You stop in your tracks, every law bone in your body erect with justice.
“A certain stallion has stolen my heart.”
>Your law boner goes flaccid. Fucking horses. You saunter closer, staring into her bedroom eyes, spurs jangling with each step. You don’t know that wearing spurs is the equivalent of a forehead mounted dildo to these kinky equines. She thinks her terrible pickup line has worked. You reach for the item in your second holster. With lightning speed you draw, squeezing the trigger.
“NO. BAD APPLE HORSE.”
>You spray her with water. She blinks in bewilderment as you spray her again. Confused instincts take over as Apple pone panics and shakes her head before taking off. You holster your weapon. You’ve done your duty this day, laying out dreadful justice. Law boner restored, you continue your patrol of Ponyville.

>>28059776
O-Oh okay, th-then. This is how everypo--body sees me I guess.I still wear short skirts and thigh highs, I mean that's what SSTH stands for, anyways.

>>28059437
Mares presenting their tuft to Anon in an attempt to seduce him

>>28059542
I thought for as second that he was sitting on his face.

>>28059437
Anon playing with fillies (one of which calls him daddy) while mares fondly watch him. It'll be the most RGRE image this thread will have ever seen.

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>>28059799
Oh. I thought it meant some kind ISO standard.

>>28059840
And that mare was Pinkie Pie. And filly was Disco

>>28059738
>CoolKids is the cool kid
No, CoolKids is the quiet, pale pone who sits in the background and just watches. He does constantly wear sunglasses, though.

>>28059918
Pony Denton.

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>>28059738

>>28059738
>Cute Kokiri wearing short skirts and thigh highs
>[HYAA! INTENSIFIES]

>>28059789
>Anon is the sheriff
>The sexiest sheriff that has ever been
>With a throbbing LAW BONER and the sluttiest clothing you've ever seen he fights crime

>>28059738
I think this is getting a bit too autism.
I want my pony man to be an alicorn, like papa Faust has. Maybe one of those glow in the dark shapeshifting transformer ones with the working springloaded gun?

>>28059848
>Be Twiggle Pi-
>Be TWILIGHT SPARKLE, visiting your new friend.
>It's a guy friend too.
>He's got so much cool stuff and books on subjects you've never heard of.
>Stuff like "Airconditioner design and repair, 3rd edition", "High voltage cookery for dummies", and "Princess Luna's private journal, keep ye out".
>Today you're going to watch his alien scrying mirror with him and Pinkie.
>She got him to promise to put on some aliens for her.
>You're interested in seeing what other worlds are like.
>The friendly looking smooth black creature on the box Pinkie was holding makes you wish you could go to Anon's homeworld to meet them.

>>28059437
M-maybe could you draw Limestone nervously looking at Anon while telling Pinkie Pie, "You didn't tell me Anonymous was a stallion."? Please, Pencil-sempai?

>>28058946
This is real nice, but the baneposting could be used in better comics. Like >>28059117 said, it makes Anon look like he isn't quite on the ball.

>>28059776
>>you hate everyone else beside ApA and Durnk
I don't see anything wrong with this.

>>“A certain stallion has stolen my heart.”
>>Confused instincts take over as Apple pone panics and shakes her head before taking off.
Christ, Anon, that was really cute. Are you going to continue someday?

>>28060036
Better context, I meant; not comics. It's still early in the morning.

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RGR Twilight is scary because she'd have some weird fetishes and the power to enforce them on you.

>>28060205
50 shades of purple, oh shit

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>>28060205
Oh?

>>28059738
>>28059776
Nothing wrong with them being the cute kohai and also the voice of reason. It'll be delightful to see the one who is dressed up in some fashionable attire mediating between swole LaP pony and prim ApA pony before the two of them concede and listen to reason.

>>28060225
Be wary of the magic tentacles she left in your bedroom.

>>28060205
>Twilight's a bit sexually repressed because she'd been told all her life that mare sexuallity is dirty and gross, while stallion sexuality is beautiful and something to encourage and explore.
>After a few months of being in a relationship with Anon, he helps her finally get past that mental barrier
>Turns out she has some weird fetishes
>One time she wanted him to put a feed bag over a muzzle and a rope tied to her dock so that her tail would be constantly raised, allowing Anon to fuck her whenever he wanted to
>Anon doesn't know how he feels when he discovers pony-BDSM
That's the only time I'm going to bring up BDSM. I mentioned it for the sake of this post and won't be actually bringing it to this thread.

>Other times she wants to be held, told she's a good pony, and brushed with a very specific coarse-toothed brush
>Anon has no idea why this turns her on so much

>One time she wanted Anon to dress up as a teacher (enormous rainbow wig & fake cardboard wings and all) and tell her that she failed a test

>There was this one time Anon walked in on Twilight with an ona-hole on her horn

Ponies are weird, man.

>>28059789
“Anon! You can’t run around town wearing that much clothing! It’s practically a crime to tease mares like that.”

>CRIME. Nooo, it couldn’t be. You, a lawbreaker yourself? You look down at your uniform, the official uniform of THE LAW. Your ragged sunbeaten stetson hat, flannel shirt, your leather vest, your duster, your Hydra skin boots, and the silver star on your chest. You stare into its glory, seeking guidance. There is a bright flash, and the star burns as it judges you.

>CAST IN THE NAME OF GOD, YE WORTHY.

“No… there’s only one crime here. Miss Sparkle, it’s a crime to interfere in police business.”

“Ohhh really officer? So how are you gonna punish me?”

>Purple smart whispers this in your ear. Taking out your notebook, you write.

“Miss Sparkle, please report to the castle court at 9am Wednesday for your trial. This ticket is not an admission of guilt. Have a nice day ma’am.”

“Oh yeah I’m gonna have a nice da-WAITWHAT?!”

“Ma’am please calm down, you are making a scene.”

“No. NONONO. Anon, this has gone far enough. If you keep this up you could get hurt! Or worse! Some mares could gang up on you and… boop you! Without wearing any protection!”

>Grape horse was clearly hysterical. You were the LAW. You picked her up in your law arms. Placing your flashing siren on top of your hat, you moved the pone onto your shoulders checking your blind spots before signaling hat you were entering traffic.

“Anon, what the heck are you waaAAAAAAA!”

>Purple princess nearly flipped backwards off your shoulders as you ran her to the horsepital.

>>28060287
>Some mares could gang up on you and… boop you! Without wearing any protection!"
Has rgre gotten too cute? Without going "males are second class citizens who females can legally rape and who have no legal rights" (aka "My Little Mudslime: Disbelievers are Infidels") does thsi thread see much in the way of serious fics?

>>28054177
I'm interested

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>>28060341
Not speaking for other people, but all I tend to write is cute/silly. Or smutty.

>>28060595
I'd probably care more about Guzzlers if they had more stories about them as actual sirens and not just high schoolers with a skin disease.

>>28060341
>Has rgre gotten too cute?
Yes, fuck yes, this sacharine shit has end at some point, but the dead horse is gettign beat no matter what
It's not just dead, it has rotten away at this point, there is no fucking horse damn it

>>28060710
Then you still stick around if you hate the majority of the stories?

>>28058946
You bastard that was to sweet now I need a massive injection of insulin I hope your happy. You've made me diabetic with the sweetness. Good job keep going

Have an idea but no story to go with it.

Equestria has several branches of magic, but the one everyone without fail can do is musical magic, the more energy and feeling you put into a song, the stronger the response to those around, see smile smile smile as an example.

Anon goes there and the way he finds out about musical magic his while remember some songs he likes he starts whispering this song https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gyx_FzFY8O4 playing it in his head, then the music starts up around him, and he is center stage for singing the song and he cant stop.

The rgre element... well listen to the song and tell me you cant figure it out.

>>28060736
People are allowed to have different opinions Anon

>>28060277
There is only 2 fetishes I can't be part of, and so long as anything else either doesn't kill me or have lasting damage, I'm cool with whatever...

So going to write a series of oneshots with twilight doing kinky shit to or around anon, with him involved.

probably going to take 2 of your ideas.

>You know, you almost miss the time when you were first giving oral to a horse and thinking 'god damn this is weird'
>You almost miss those times.

>>28060341
Stories are mostly comedy, I am perfectly ok with this, however there the real world comedy and the stupidly cute comedy... I think we have been in stupidly cute for too long.

Get cutter get butter was that perfect mix for me of its funny, not to serious, and smut.

>>28060858
This. There isn't anything wrong with cute and cuddly, but there's such thing as too much of a good thing.

>>28059789
Wait a niggersecond
What if, WHAT IF:

>Twalot: Anon wearing nerdy clothes when he's working in the library
>Flutters: Anon wearing a BDSM latex suit (neh just kidding I have no idea tbqh familia)
>The lesbian one: Anon wearing sweatbands while doing cardio (obviously doing it before lift 'cause >gainz killer)
>Rararararararararararararararararararararararara: Anon wearing glasses(?)
>Ponka: Anon have ADHD kek
>Background pone: Anon making racist comments, using weapons(?) or speaking spanish or french ("fancy words")

>>28060287
>Placing your flashing siren on top of your hat
Mah sides

>>28058926
>>He picks the baby up and shoulders her.
>>”You have wings? Ayy, this baby’s fly.”
>>He picks the baby up and shoulders her.
>>”You have wings? Ayy, this baby’s fly.”
Repeating lines.

>>28060906
The recent /b/ activities must've attracted more underage to this board.

>>28061067
Gee just tell me to fuck off Anon.

>>28061067
Who else would write like that.

>>28058946
You need to stop. Stale memes are not good for consumption.

>>28060836
I look forward to it.