Reversed Gender Roles Equestria

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>>27274495
>tfw It's not dong ring.

>>27274495
Ceiling Cadence is watching you masturbate.

I swear, I you shitpost this one thread...

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>>27274495
>mfw it's not dong ring

>>27274495
>Shuk made old thread dong ring
>Shuk makes new thread not dong ring
Hold up for just a goddamn fucking minute.

>>27274555
He was punishing us for two threads ago being shitpost central despite all the lovely green that was being posted. We were relatively behaved in the last thread, so we are rewarded by having not dong ring.

>>27274555
Shuk controls the fate of all anon's with the power of the dong ring.

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>>27274513
Dong ring shall rise again!

>>27274495
>>27274517
>>27274519
>>27274524
QUESTION!

Here where i come from, there was a outdated book of mannerisms and ettiquete rules that was followed.

Was there a book or a guide which helped the older ones in the way of gentlemanlyness?
Like what to give on girl's birthday or what kind of booze to buy to the father to take the girl out?

>>27274482
>>27274490

This dude posted during the last thread's dying throes and I think it has potential. The only thing I could recommend is that it tries to stay away from the tropes present in the Marriage Difficulties thread. Maybe it could focus more on the kids and how they interact with New Daddy. It could also focus on how the mares are competing with each other. Anything to take the story away from "my waifu hurt me, why is my waifu literal trash, how can i ever forgive her for drinking all that demon spunk from New Daddy".

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>TFW you don't mind either way if it's Dong ring

>>27274573
That wasn't really a thing around here as far as i know, though i do remember my parents having this book that was sort of like "how to make knots and traps and rafts and shit" that was pretty old and vaugely instructional-book-like
Go ahead and write about ponies doing it if you want.

>>27274573
I could buy something like that existing. On a similar note, maybe a finishing school for colts?

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>>27274513
>>27274524

"Gentlemares of the board. I have grave news... Dong ring sales are down 10%!"
>Ever mare gasps. Even Martha and she's stone cold.
>"What can we do? How can herds get horsemarried if they don't have dong rings for their stallions?!"
"I propose we hire shills to go on the interwebs and have them promote our dong rings in their 'threads.'"
>"BRILLIANT! BRING ME PICTURES OF DONG RINGS!"
"I'll get the advertising mares on it right away Jonah Jamieson. We'll get front page pictures for your paper. THEN DONG RINGS WILL BE EVERYWHERE!"
As the camera panned out all the mares in the legion of mild doom's boardroom started laughing wildly.

>>27274573
>>27274591
How old are we talking? Cuz I got a link for how Proper Women should act circa 1859. How RGRE are you?

I'm picturing an old-timey carnival where you have a mallet and you have to hit a thing on the ground so that a doo-hicky flies up and hits a bell.
>Matriarchy Maintained(Thanks Celestia) DING DING DING DING DING
>Victorian Victory
>Meal-Making Men
>Dresses for Dudes
>Salty Stallyns
>Marely Mares
>Determined Dykes
>Colt Cuddlers
>Namby-Pamby Nags
>Not RGRE Enough

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>>27274634
pic related

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>>27274567
>>27274618

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>>27274567
What kind of ring would Octavia get for Anon?

>>27274737
>dat bump
I think you already know, friendo.

>>27274737
>You are Octavia
>On your back, stretching out your hooves
>Uuuuugh what a day for the trollies to break down
>You hoofed it 15 miles.
>FIFE TEAN MILS.
>At least your horsebando, Anon, let you take the night off from dishes and chores
>....
>They ache
>As you rotate your ankles, you hear the bedroom door open slightly
"Hey hon... thanks for taking care of me-"
>A soft, drawn out musical note - like a gentle violin - interrupts you
>You grin
>"I see that smile~"
"So we *are* going to make beautiful music tonight~?"
>The answer is a sudden weight felt on the bed
>Tonight was a "enchant your dong rings to make music through movement" kinda night

>>27274804
That was pretty good.

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>>27274804
>enchant your dong rings to make music through movement

IT'S ART!!!

>>27274804
>enchant your dong rings to make music through movement

BRILLIANT!

>Dong ring that write down the sex for reading later for twilight.
>Turning the cum into gems for actual pear necklaces for rarity.
>Ring that is warm and vibrates for AJ that soothes her aching joints after a hard day or work.
>Ponk gets a party cannon ending every time.
>RD's ring is constantly lubed for fast and fun sex.
>Fluttershy's ring creates mood lighting and acts like a mood ring so she doesn't have to ask if anon want's to bone.
Celetista enjoys how her ring enchants anon's dong to taste like cake.
Luna's darkens the room for true afternoon delight fun.
And candyass's ring scrapes and licks for no trouble down the family line.
Nah it actually just vibrates whenever anon is horny teaching him to be a nympo like her.

>>27274804
10/10, would magical musical muffmangle music mhoers with muh man muscle

>>27274513
>>27274524
>>27274555
nice meme

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>>27274892
I know.

>Dong Ring, second only to Venus in thread popularity

>>27274942
Dadnon is interesting at first, but now it's a bit more mellow and kind of mild, so I'm just waiting for some new green.

>>27274956
>>27274942
>Dong Ring
>Dadnon
Epic crossover when?

>>27274956
I'll admit that Dadnon is in that really comfy space where I could read the shit out of it in perpetuity. Kinda like Escapades NMM/Anon stuff.

>>27274972
Luna still doesn't know how some things work since she's been gone.
She buys a dong ring for Anon during the honeymoon.
100% confirmed spoilers here, m8. No need to doubt my credibility.

>>27274989
It is super comfy. I really hope it gets a lewd chapter soon though. At the moment it is a story that has sex in it, but only with Condense, and that's horrible all things considered.

>>27274997
Shuk can't write lewd, though

>>27275006
Have you read the beginning of the story recently? Remember it started out as basically a high school anon and Cadance clop fic.

I like what it has evolved into and I don't think it needs lewd to be good so much as I think since it is already there should be some with a better pony.

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>>27275006
His human cum addicted ponies story was pretty hot.

>>27275006
Clearly someone hasn't read the stuff he did for Vhatty.

>>27275041
>Shuk and Vhat collab
You have piqued more than my interest, good sir.

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Really.

This is just the first update for today. I'll probably do two more. Because I'm not gonna blueball(bean?) you guys like that.

>>27273991
Pluggo writes very goodly. I am gladly to have been learned by his showing. you're golden ƒam. You write good shit, it's entertaining, and doesn't take itself too seriously.

>>27272339

>You mutter words of power, never meant to be spoken by a mortal tongue.
>Your breath carries an eldritch essence with it, and the temperature in the room drops to freezing in seconds.
>The sound of your voice echoes and distorts as you continue the chant, and the windows frost over with a sharp crackling.
>The candles gutter weakly as the shadows they cast grow long and menacing forms, no longer bound by the natural laws of this universe.
>It is too late to turn back, but you are beginning to have second thoughts.
>A pungent scent of burning hair and rotting eggs saturates the room, and you have to keep from retching as you power through the rest of the malefic syllables.
>A flash of lightning illuminates the room for a moment, but the sound of thunder is distant, and faint, like you’re listening from far away, or underwater.
>A dull roar rises from beyond the edge of your hearing, growing in intensity and volume as you near the last of this unholy call into the beyond.
>Your heart is stricken with terror, but you know that the only way out now is to simply push on through.
“-ANZILLU KASADU!”
>You scream the last two words at the top of your lungs, as sounds seem to be dying inches from their source.
>Your throat hurts from the force of your cry, but you can barely hear yourself over the pounding thrum that seems to be coming from the place between your ears.

>>27275109
>Suddenly, darkness.
>Not merely the absence of light, like one would find on a moonless night, but darkness, true and deep.
>It coats you, everything, reality itself in a wave, and you’re drowning in it.
>Things that no mind should ever have to bear comprehension of writhe and play about one another in an infinite danse macabre.
>You can . . . feel . . . things scratching at the edges of your mind, the weight of infinity bearing down on your meagre consciousness like a wave washing over an improvised life raft cast adrift on an infinite sea of madness.
>Never before have you felt so helpless . . . so weak . . . you realize now that thinking your magic could save you from such forces was the penultimate sin of pride, surpassed only by the belief you could control them.
>To resist is to be destroyed, and to succumb is to be eternally damned.
>You can feel your mind coming undone at the seams, your thoughts are no longer your own, and as your awareness of your own existence is wrenched away, a bleating whimper escapes you.
>A call for help, for protection, for a harbor in this storm.
“Daddy!”

>>27275116
>You are Anon.
>And you are in hell.
>Not like burning pitchforks and red dudes hell, the more mundane kind.
>Retail hell.
>You have been arguing with this short, fat, frumpy, toad-human hybrid of a woman for what feels like an eternity.
>Everything about her was unpleasant.
>Her face was bloated and puffy, with wrinkled jowls flanking a broad, lipless mouth.
>Said mouth was perched beneath a fine moustache, like what one would expect to see on a pedophile, or DVD rewinder salesman.
>Above that, sat a hooked and beak like nose.
>If she smoked, and from her pungent odor and pus yellow teeth you were fairly certain she did, she would have been able to do so freely in the rain, due to the size of the schnozz that protruded from between her beady, rodent like eyes.
>Okay, so she probably wasn’t that bad, but she’s been trying to pass off expired, fake, and used coupons off on you for 30 minutes.
>”No, I have coupons. You have to take them!”
“I’m sorry Ma’am, but that’s a coupon for a free burrito at Taco Bell. This is a Sears.”
>So far, she’s tried to pay for a food processor using two denied credit cards, a wad of pesos (not Nuevo pesos, the old kind), and an assortment of monopoly money and buttons.
>”It says 20% off, and I’m not going to let you con me out of my hard earned money!”
“That offer ended. In 1986. Even if it were 1986, you’d have to spend $100 to use it. Which, you also haven’t done.”
>She huffs at you, giving you the stink eye before stuffing her pudgy, sausage-like fingers back in her purse.
>Every time she opens it, you get a good look at the crisp, fresh, hundred dollar bill just sitting there, always rejected, always ignored.
>Like a strongman contender at a crossfit gym, you were at an absolute loss as to what the fuck was going on.

>>27275125
>Finally, perhaps realizing that she was out of luck in the coupon department.
>”I demand to see your manager! I’ve been marginalized due to my gender! If a MAN had tried to pay with these coupons, you wouldn’t have given them a second glance!”
>You can’t even stifle this sigh.
>She’d spoken to her twice already. She even gave her a 20% discount. The second time she came back, she upgraded it to a 30%.
>You glance over your shoulder and make eye contact with her.
>She’s reading a Cosmo magazine and chewing gum.
>Your eyes meet over the cover picture of some obscenely photogenic man with 3% bodyfat and surfboard petting puppies.
>It only takes a moment, but in that moment your communication was perfect.
>>”If you make me go over there one more goddamn time, I will make sure that you clean every women’s restroom in this store, every day, for a month.”
>Fuck.
“I AM THE MANAGER!”
>You shout exasperatedly, throwing your arms in the air like you just don’t care.
>The toad goes quiet at this, her dumb, glassy eyes narrowing at you slightly.
>It takes her a moment to process this obviously fallacious claim.
>”Well . . . I want to talk to your regional supervisor!”
“AAAAUUGH!”
>You just scream in incoherent rage at the sky, cursing whatever gods there might be above or below who had doomed you to such a fate.
>The store was suddenly very quiet.
>Wow, that’s a lot of people staring at you . . .
>The looks from the staff were ones of sympathy.
>The customers wore a mixture of confusion and surprise.
>You let out a long, slow breath through your nose as you slowly lower your arms back to your sides.
>Your voice creaks out in a high pitched, slightly pained whisper.
“You know what? He’s here today. In the back. I’ll. Go. Get. Him.”
>You punctuate every word by grinning wider, and leaning in a bit closer until your noses nearly touch.
>God this woman has pores that look like craters on the moon.

>>27275132
>Before she can open her mouth and let another intellectually draining travesty of English grammar splutter out, you bolt from the checkout area toward the back.
>Not today. There just wasn’t enough of your patience to go around today.
>You head for the supply closet. The one with cleaning solvent in it.
>The janitor, Marcus, whom you had gotten to know after an incontinent narcoleptic stopped in to grab some emergency Imodium for his stomach virus and had fallen asleep in the middle of the isle, was always stashing things in there.
>You shudder at the memory.
>Some smells couldn’t be washed out, for they stained your very soul.
>You reach the closet shortly after your PTSD flashback ends.
>After stepping inside, you lock the door behind you, pull out your phone, and begin searching for the bottle.
>The emergency bottle.
>A 95% pure bottle of ethyl alcohol.
>Marcus had kept at least one stocked in here in case of another . . . Brown Sunday.
>To be fair though, it was really more of a ‘Brown with Bloody Streaks Sunday’, and it wasn’t the dust bowl, it was a porcelain bowl.
>An alcohol bath was the only way to get the smell out.
>So, with a cough and a wince, you took a seat in the pitch dark cupboard, and began fighting with the cap.
>Before you could reach your succulent, pain numbing, paint removing nectar, the whole world began to vibrate, and white spots started appearing in your vision.
“This is it. I’m finally having an aneurism. Thank FUCKING GOD.”
>You just go limp, begging for the sweet release of oblivion to take you.

aw shit
amphetamines

>>27275140
I like your words. Keep making these words. Also, get a trip; the last thing you need is someone impersonating you and stirring up shit - yes, it's happened in the past.

Post safe every time, horsechild. Wear a trip for protection.

>>27275140
wait is his corpse going to appear in front of twilight?

>>27275154
Concurred. I wear trips daily and it protect me from shitposters! Trips-get one or get gone!

>>27275140
Das it for now. Sorry. I know it doesn't actually take you guys where you want to be in the story, but hey, what can I say.

>>27275154
>>27275173
pansies

>>27275197
Nah, it's cool. I like where this is going and look forward to reading more. Gud jub mang.

>>27275212
Come on, Horsemom. We can't all go into the guard and fight in Zebrafghanistan.

>>27274932
>>27274892
https://derpiboo.ru/979388?scope=scpe71b470e7d3d1058bf429cfbf79e02e66a095a704

>>27274927
Yea, but it's our meme

>>27275229
Hey, what happened to the: Anon and Berry Punch/Rarity/Mayor Mare story?

>>27275212
>>27275173
>>27275154

>implying I need protection

I don't use a trip for the same reason I don't use condoms, the fact that I'm speedballing on Wild Turkey and off brand methylphenidate means I can't get it up and I can't actually cum.

What was the question again?

Nevermind, I'm just gonna go back to writing.

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>>27275154
>>27275173
>>27275212

Wait . . . did like all three of my greentext heroes just acknowledge my existence? And all I did in response was talk about my impotence?

. . . shit.

If the grand masters say I should trip . . . I guess I'll have to trip. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hfUSyoJcbxU&ab_channel=PaulStevensonJr.

>>27275411
>spoiler
No son, like this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VeQRO4fXOKk

>>27275411
all the cool kids are doing tripcodes. What are you, some kinda square?

>>27275435
>Spawn
John Leguizamo was amazing.

>>27275452
I'M NOT THE VINDICATOR, OR THE VIBRATOR!

>>27275303
Pretty sure that you are talking about BadGrammarFag's story. I asked about them last thread and apparently it's been a month since they posted. They have also been absent from SWT.

>>27275116
fucking awesome

>>27275140
>“This is it. I’m finally having an aneurism. Thank FUCKING GOD.”
kek

page 7 bump

>>27274594

>finishing school for colts

That could be really interesting
>Twilight thinks Anon isn't stallionly enough and worries that he won't be able to snag a good herd
>As his friend, she cannot let this stand!
>She forces him to go to a finishing school for his own good.

>>27275154
>>27275140
don't be like me where everyone impersonated me for like 12 hours while I slept.

>>27276827
You just have to be good enough, then nobody will dare do it.

>>27276827
Because this community has a sense of respect for one another, and a reverence for content producers.

>>27276827
As you can see from the multiple (you) s flattery will get you everywhere.

>>27276918
>Because this community has a sense of respect for one another,

Really? Where?

>>27274495
is anybody going to do ww1 ptsd anon?
here's the promt just incase.
>ptsd anon in rgre
>anon has ptsd from bayonet charges and artillery shellings
>ponies don't believe him because penis
>luna goes into his dreams and acseses his memories
>hes not lying
ponies react

>>27276827
I like your face

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>>27276971
>>27276944
>>27276918
>>27276852

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>>27276970

>>27276970
There is so much edge in these prompts that I can see the grass cutting itself outside. Plus, it's shit like this that gets /pol/ in on "correcting" everyone on what happened.

>>27277001
wow and you almost had trips to.

>>27277004
but i want edge to.

>>27276970
PTSD is the modern politically correct version devoid of emotion. Back then it was called "Shell Shock"

>>27276777
>Anon is taught never to walk alone outside past sundown
>Never to refer to his herdmares as "my herdmares", but rather as "Miss so-and-so" unless they are in an intimate situation
>Anon is never to raise both pant legs above the ankles (eg to walk through deep mud) because it's extremely vulgar

>Anon memorizes these rules to get through the dumb bullshit Twilight's forcing him to go through
>Disregards them the second he gets back home

>>27277047
shell shocked anon.
i like it

>>27277027
Fucking sucks for you, then.

>>27277069
at least i gave an idea.

>>27276970

There was a whole general about that. Then it died like the soldiers normally did. : ^ )

No really it's a really narrow line of focus. Only so much green you can get.

>>27277097
This thread has no shortage of ideas. Almost everybody universally hates edge.

>>27277119
that just means you need more edge.
sort an aquired taste. like dong rings.

>>27276827
I dunno man, that was a pretty good time.
wouldimpersonateagain/10

>>27277135
easy there space cowboy. I think you need to calm down.

>>27277119
a little edge never hurt anyone. It's better than a bunch of cucks dutch ruddering eachother over their emasculation fantasies

>>27277124 >>27277027
How does it feel, having no taste? This is generic, thick HFY edge. It's so thick that there is basically nowhere to shoehorn RGRE in.

>>27277053
>Not Anon overthrowing the school and teaching (see: corrupting) all the impressionable young stallions.

>>27277152
Where'd you get that impression? There's no cucking in this thread; you're looking for the marriage difficulties thread if that's the case.

>>27277175
>good prompt
You're adorable. Let me guess, Anon shows ponies the error of their ways by building all kinds of totes-kool human tech? And then he talks about things like death and other serious things of consequence with a casual tone of indifference?

>>27277179
I wasn't referring to the stories. I was referring to you faggots.

>>27277199
>this level of saltiness
he's either from the slave pony thread, the satyr thread, or the tech thread, i'll bet you anything.

Holy shit, how is there this much autism this early on in the thread?

>Edgy suggestion
>"I don't like suggestion"
>REEEEEEEEEEE

>>27277196
that depends on where the wrightfag useually wrights.

>>27277238
what

>>27277196
It's about a traumatized anon being healed by cute ponies. Im sorry no one likes your slave shit.

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>>27277219

He was commenting on how those promnts are normally written. BECAUSE IT'S BEEN DONE BEFORE ON /mlp/!

If you want abnormal amounts of edge on a children's cartoon show you can make it yourself.

Fug man.

>>27277245
dude why are you getting so defensive? people submit ideas that nobody else likes all the time. Learn from it and think of a better idea and then submit it.

>>27276970
Alright you frothy niglets.

>YOU ARE ANON
>And you're currently petting a tiny velvet laserhorse
"Sssh....shhhh.... there there..."
>Luna sniffles into your chest, doing that weird horse-cheek-nuzzle scent marking thing
>"B-but... but so many fell. So many-"
>You hum softly, petting her neck
"Yes... I'm not going to lie. A ton of people died, for no real good reason-"
>"B-but... but to see them raised and to fall again and again-"
>You sigh softly
"I keep telling you, Luna. We were simply a re-enactment troupe-"
>"N-nnn~"
>She wiggles in your lap until she looks at you, eyes wet with tears
>"Why would you want to reenact such terror, such pain?!"
>You smile and boop her snootie
>The scrunch is real
"Lulu. It's not as bad as you think."
>"But colts were FALLING, Anon! Falling on grass and sand and even cart paths-"
"Look we had to rent the golf course that one time-"
>"And then you did it AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAI-"
>Tonight was a 'yeah, in an abstract way this is edgy, but this tiny horse is more concerned about my bruised knees.... maybe she doesn't understand human war? whatever. here's your fucking prompt' kinda night.

>>27277269
Thank you based BNW.

Is everyone done crying now?

>>27277245
this.
i just wrote down the prompt to see were it went but this could go somewhere good.

>>27277243
if the wrightfag is from the tech thread it would have engineer anon teaching ponies things and if its from the rgre threads it will have a more reverse gender roles thing going on

>>27277266
i tried that and got banned once.

>>27277269
yeeees, yeeeees.

>>27277279
Wow.

>>27277293
to be fair it was a god awfull idea.

>>27277288
what. and nice dubs.

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>Be professor Anon.
>Teaching history at Canterlot University because these damn sissy ponies won’t let you get a real job and get your hands dirty.
>”But you’re a stallion” they’d say and “What if you get hurt?”
>You didn’t defend America from those damn commies to put up with this shit now.
>Looking over the class you noticed a pretty good mix of colts and mares.
>Time to learn them something about war.
“Good Morning Class, today we’ll be covering a very interesting subject: war.”
>You spoke in your most calm and gentle voice.
>You watched with repressed glee as many shifted uncomfortably in their pony seats at your question.
“Now would anyone like to tell what war is?”
>Almost instantly you saw a lone purple hoof shoot up.
>Wonderful, maybe there was one worthwhile pupil here.
“Yes, miss uh?”
>”Sparkle, War by definition is a conflict which usually is resolved through diplomatic relations.”
>Oh god, it fucking burns!
>These damn hippies have corrupted the youth here as well!
“Is she right? Is She? Well I know that what those politicians would like you to believe, but I was there.”
>Walking and standing right in front of the now distressed unicorn you leaned down invading her personal space.
“I was THERE up to my KNEES IN RICE PADDIES! DUKING IT OUT WITH CHARLIE! GUNS BLAZING ROUNDS FLYING EVERYWHERE! IS THAT WHAT WAR IS?”
>Your hands are on both sides of her desk now shaking it for added drama.
“SAY IT!!! SAY IIIIIIIIIIIIIT!”
>And she’s out.
>Boy do you love teaching.
“Okay then, turn to page ten and lets dive right in to the wonderful and enchanting world of modern history.”

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>>27277269

Noice.

>>27277279

>Ask for edgy ww 1 green. Get satire green instead.
>Is happy about it.

I just can't even man.

This is stupid.

>>27277403

>It turns out he was never in a war.
>He's just a master shitposter.

>>27277463
i was never asking specificly for edgy green that just looked like were the thread was going so i joined in hoping for green, i got a parody version but thats ok ,because its a good parody.

>>27277175
>good prompt
So, how do the ponies react and why?

>>27277463
>Faculty meetings are goddamn waste of time in your opinion.
>Time you could be spending in your office with a nice bottle of alcoholic cider.
>”Next on the agenda, we’ve had several students uhh… raise concerns about… certain professors being a bit overzealous in the classroom.”
>You felt the eyes on you as you continued drawing dicks on a piece of parchment.
>The one on the top left could definitely use some more veins but you digress.
>”Professor Anonymous I know you’re just showing your zeal for brightening young minds, but would you mind toning it down just a tad?”
“Yeah sure, whatever you say.”
>Maybe
>No not really.
>”Excellent, now onto the next item on the list.”

The next day
>”Duck and cover!!!”
>Several of your students were now shielding themselves inside a makeshift fort of desks and books.
>The classroom was filled with vegetation and mist.
>Maybe you did overdo it a bit with the yelling, there were so many better and equally effective teaching methods.
>Like re-creating the environment minus the napalm and real guns.
>Paintball guns were just as effective in creating the ideal atmosphere.
“FRAG OUT!!!”
>You tossed a paint grenade and watched as it sailed gracefully through the air right into the midst of their fort.

>>27277577
>"it depends"
Thank you, Anon!

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>>27277637
>>"if its from the rgre threads it will have a more reverse gender roles thing going on"

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>>27277511
>i was never asking specificly for edgy green that just looked like were the thread
>i was never asking specificly for edgy green t
> never asking specificly

>is anybody going to do ww1 ptsd anon?
here's the promt just incase.
Not even a the vibe of PTSD because of dong rings and some green.

And don't give me shit because this post and your post have the same writing style. They are bait and I bit down on it. Fucking reel me in lord I can see the sky.

Pic is for you.

>>27277589

>This is of course after he got tenure, so good luck getting rid of him.

I like this anon. You get an internet.

>"Anon I am glad you do your chores and have meals ready to eat, but can you please stop shitposting on the ponyweb? I'm getting tried of eating pizza and mountneigh dew."
"No I'm enjoying my anger Roseluck! Now go enjoy your pineapple pizza and I'll do you in the butt after I write this shitpost about ponies talking to their husbandos about their PTSD in RGRE!" (RGREarth)

>>27277744
my was not supposed to be bait but ok.
i completely forgot about that part of the post, good job faulty memory.

What ever happened to butt sex being treated like it's this kinda taboo thing that stallions only to for mares on special occasions like their birthdays or mother's day?

>>27277885
i would like more stuff like this.

>>27277744
>Still be Professor Anon.
>Today you got told that you were going on vacation.
>Ha! the ponies didn’t have the balls to even fire you after you basically re-enacted the battle of Saigon in the cafeteria.
>Not that they could even fire you if they wanted. Your ass got tenure the moment you took the job, mainly due to the lack of stallion professors.
>So now you’re sitting at home at the computer catching up on grading some papers.
>Your horsewaifu wasn’t going to be back from work for another couple of hours so you had some time to waste.
>Pinching the bridge of your nose you sighed.
>All work and no play as they say.
>Scrolling over the icon for the ponynet you double clicked.
>Time to ruin someone’s day, that always made you feel better.
>/mlh/ or my little human was one of the places where you could relax and be the most cancerous and toxic being alive.
>Reading through the few threads in the catalog you found your target.
>RGREarth
>Reading the first post brought a smile to your face.
>”Please zigger, if I was there I’d have so many humans balls deep in me..”
>So it begins
>Your fingers went to work.
“A flat flank like you? Get some meat on that runty thing then maybe you’d get some reject if he’s desperate.”
>And post.
>The (you)’s just flooded in.
>And you watched with amusement sitting back in your seat, sipping on some coffee.
>You attached a picture of you and horsewaifu with your face blurred out to that post for added effect.
>Nevermind the fact that you were the only human here they never figured out who the human in the picture was.

>>27275140
SHAZAM (not the movie)

>You are Anon.
>Still.
>The light has faded back away.
>No sweet release of death for you today.
>But Jesus Christ did somebody just rip one in the supply closet?
>Smells like fucking burnt hair and ass in here.
>Rotten ass.
>You're pretty sure you're the only one in the supply closet.
>Why does it sound like it's raining?
|>Why is the supply closet suddenly really tall?
>And round?
>And not a supply closet . . . whattheshithappeneddidIdieorsomethingholyfucking
>. . .
>Rebooting . . .
>Okay.
>So, you're tripping balls for the second time in the past 24 hours.
>Looks like the unlabeled water bottle had a little bit of a delayed kick to it.
>Time to take a close account of your situation, and try and ride this shit out.
>Marcus will find you, throw a blanket over you, and cart you out the back if just assume the fetal position long enough.
>Unless this is after the comedown, and you're missing like a good six hours.
>You check your watch.
>Pressing a small button on the side of the knock off Cassy-Oh Real Quartz ™ Watch, the backlight turns on.
>5:73.
>Oh, cool, you're dreaming.
>You remember reading somewhere that clocks get all fucky when you're asleep. Something about the brain can't do that abstract shit like time and make it work in a dream.
>You thump your watch triumphantly. Just another weird ass, super realistic lucid dream.
>The display flickers, and the two horizontal prongs of the three come back on.
>5:33.
>Dammit. Not dreaming.
>So, hallucination is still on the table, along with brain hemorrhage.
>You reach up and touch your face in the near pitch dark.
>Not numb, so probably not a stroke.

>>27277942

>You stagger to your feet, and take a quick look around the pitch dark room.
>It's pitch dark.
>You don't see shit.
>There could be 15 melanin enriched gentlemen in here with you, and as long as they didn't smile, they'd be fucking invisible.
>You take out your phone, flick on the flashlight app, and take another look around.
“Shit.”
>You swear. And, to be honest, you don't stop with “Shit.”
>You swear a lot. You swear a blue streak.
>You swear so much a sailor would consider it unnecessary.
>You however know exactly how necessary it is, because you just woke up in what appears to be a chamber built into the root system of a tree, inside a series of pentagrams, surrounded by an assload of obvious ceremonial candles.
>This is it. This is how you die. You don't get the nice, peaceful, quick aneurysm you wanted.
>Nope, you're gonna get sacrificed by a bunch of devil worshiping cultist wannabe's.
>Just like your guidance councilor in high school said you would.
>You've played enough Doom to recognize the pentagrams.
>You've watched enough Supernatural to recognize a ring of salt when you see one.
>You've worked the Candle and Decor section long enough to recognize a whole shitload of Luminessence Vanilla Pillar Candles when you see them.
>You've had enough weird erotic dreams to tell that there's a small, grape colored unicorn passed out on the floor inside her own respective weird ritual ring.
>Seriously, there is some major stink in here if it's overpowering those fuckin' candles.
>You would have burned that uniform if you didn't think that it would just set the vanilla odor demon that had possessed it free.

>>27277885
It's normally inverted because anon like anal and doesn't refuse sex because he's angry about something.
Do you mean what ever happened to stations responding to anon's love of anal or sex in general?

>"Oh my Celestia Time turner look at his pecs. It is so big. He looks like one of those Zebra's coltfriends. But ya know, who understands those zebras. They only talk to him because he looks like he does anal. 'Kay?"
>"I mean, his pecs, is just so big."
"I can't believe it's just so chisled, it's like out there."
>"I mean gross, look. He's just so, Human."
>Pinkie pie jumps out of a hay bale in her rap outfit and starts to sing.
https://youtu.be/_JphDdGV2TU?t=29
>The whole time during the song Anon dry hump dances behind pinkie.

>>27277991
>Right, demons, cultists, that's the real issue here. Stay focused Anon.
>You scan around the room another time.
>Hmm. No robed figures.
>You gingerly step out of your little circle.
>You ankle pops a bit as you step over the blackened ring that appears to have been burned into the stone floor.
>Taking a step over the purple unicorn you examine the table behind it for long, ceremonial knives.
>None to be found.
>You scan the walls for goat heads, a Saint Peters Cross, or perhaps some gaudy red drapes to signify an unholy sanctum of some kind.
>Only thing in here was a table, some candles, a book with what you imagine a 12 year old would consider a scary face drawn on the front, and that unicorn from your dream.
>. . .
>. . . . .
>You really can't handle this right now.
>You decide to make like a white girl, and not even.
>When that fails to rectify the situation in any meaningful way, you begin talking to yourself aloud, to try and measure through the situation in a calm and manageable way.
“That tiny horse with a horn is breathing Anon.”
>You watch its chest rise and fall slowly.
>The coloration is familiar . . . the hair stripe, the lavender coat . . .
>A soft, whining whimper escapes it's prone form as it shivers a bit.
>You shine the light on it's face.
“What the fuck!”
>You jump back, as you illuminate what appears to be a swarm of silent, black gnats swarming around its mouth and eyes.
>You swipe your hand through the swarm, the motes dispersing like mist in the sun.
“Seriously what the fuck . . .”
>With the weird swarm thing gone, you start to get a better look at the . . . creature before you.
“I think this is it. We're crazy. The customers finally drove us crazy, and we've invented a fantasy realm populated by unicorns and magic and demons to keep us entertained in the rubber room we got stuffed in.”

>>27278011

>Talking to no one other than yourself, you continue your inspection.
>As you look closer, you realize that this is . . . almost the mare from your dream.
>The color is darker, the face, smoother.
>The butt-mark is different too.
>So . . . not the same horse.
>You suppress the impulse to reach out and touch it.
>Now is not the time for such shenanigans.
>Memories of last night flit through your head.
> . . . now those were some shenanigans.
>Fond memories of bestiality aside, you seriously need to get a fucking handle on this shit.
>Taking a step back from the unconscious mare . . .
>You take a step to the side and lean over a bit.
>Yeah definitely a mare.
>You let out a deep sigh, running your fingers through your hair to calm down a bit.
>What would your brother do in this situation?
>Fuckin' Semper Fi, Rangers lead the way shit you bet.
>Probably some cool military training shit.
>Like, rappel up a wall and hang from a light fixture to shoot somebody.
>Or pushups.
>You hadn't spoken in a while. Or paid much attention to him when you did.
“Come on Anon, you're 0-2 here, let's come up with a winner.”
>You mutter under your breath, searching around the room for . . . oh for fucks sake.
>Stairs.
>Yeah, we're going up the stairs. Can't believe you missed the horse, then the stairs. Next thing you're gonna fucking miss is the ground when you fall down.
>Trudging up the surprisingly small and narrow steps, you find yourself at a door clearly designed for someone half your height.
“Optical illusion door?”
>You glance over your shoulder.
“Riiiiight. Tinyhorse.”
>You grab the . . . knob? Horses can work knobs here? Well, I mean, you know one horse that worked the hell out of one knob . . . but that's different.

>>27277936
>Aggressively oblivious ponies
I'd buy that.

>Anon makes assertion about guys
>Ponies disbelieve
>Anon records a video of a close-up of his crotch
>masturbates while holding a scrap of parchment with a timestamp

>>27278031
Dun for now. Gonna post more later. Like, favorite and subscribe, or leave a comment below.

Also let me know if it becomes shit, because I'll keep writing even with shit ideas.

>>27276918
>>27276944
>>27276852
>>27276971
Go to bed, anon

>>27278006
Oh. I meant like, mares receiving a penis into their anus being seen as a treat that a colt does for his marefriend and a subject that is rude to speak about in public.

>>27274495
So first time viewing this thread. Why is there no description of what it's about?

>>27278050
Good stuff, good stuff! If it were me i'd have Anon choosing to pick up and carry Twilight because she's his only friend in this strange, demon-circle and magic-horse infested world, but i'm just a faggot. Imagine her waking up from her nightmare and her first interaction with her long-lost father is being cradled in daddy's arms

>>27278074
There really should be, come to think of it. Would you like a description of what goes down, or is that just a comment on the state of affairs?

>>27278093
>I'd have Anon choosing to pick up and carry Twilight because she's his only friend in this strange, demon-circle and magic-horse infested world, but i'm just a faggot. Imagine her waking up from her nightmare and her first interaction with her long-lost father is being cradled in daddy's arms

Don't think that I'm taking your advice or anything when something almost exactly like this happens.

Or whatever.

>>27278100
Yes please. I wondered what you do here, and if I'd want to write

>>27278118
Stories in a setting where females are the dominant gender in pony country.

>>27278118
Oh, christ, I hope I don't fuck this up. I won't be the only one responding to you, so you'll get a better picture pretty soon.

First and foremost, it isn't rule 63. Pinkie Pie is still a girl and Big Mac is still a boy.

RGRE is a universe where the traditional and stereotypical gender roles and behaviour have switched around. Things like men being tough, or the bread-winners, or the ones who are expected to ask the girls out and pay for their date - in here, it's the girl-horse with the vagina and the crotchtits who do all that.

Behaviour is changed too. The stallions gossip about fashion and the mares get drunk and talk about which colts they'd fuck if given the chance.

It really REALLY (read: FOR REAL) doesn't have to be a perfect reflection on how each gender in real life works. That sort of debate is a can of worms that you do NOT want opened.

SOmetimes it's subtle. A story might just have a silent, "get back to the kitchen" sort of mentality to it where mares call stallions "sweetheart" and "honey" in a slightly condescending, derogatory manner and have the attitude that there is NEVER a good reason to EVER hit a stallion.

Other times, it's not so subtle. Mares might be shocked that Anon wants to get a job and pay for his own living, or they might dismiss his opinions and/or abilities because of his gender.

It all comes down to what YOU want to write..

>>27278254
I think I get it

>>27278371
Glad to have been able to help. If you like what you read, there's always room for more writers.

>>27277156
>Not Anon just telling Twiggles to fuck off and not going.

>>27278371
Shit, I forgot to mention: Typically, this shift in gender expectations is because of a commonly-believed idea that the reason there are so few stallions seen on the show is because of some vaguelly-established gender ratio gap. Basically, there are way more mares being born than stallions, which makes stallions be seen as something valuable and rare. This is why there's a "protect the stallion" attitude in a lot of the stories.

page 6 bump

>>27276970
You keep posting that shit prompt, and nobody takes it serious. There's a reason for that, it's a shit prompt.

>>27278870
it may be a shit prompt but we got one good green out of it, so ill stop posting it.

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>>27278031
I like your style, amphetanon.

>>27278050
It's good shit, man. Keep writing it and I'll keep reading it.

Quick question, do leople want Anon and Luna's night with this upcoming update or the one after?

>>27279117
Well, I gives a fuck what leople wants, he's kind of a cunt to be honest, but I'll take what's ready. I've gotten used to getting this story in small, fun bite sized bits.

>>27279136
It's at 2.6k words and still a bit to go.

>>27279156
Sounds good, m80. Post it when you're ready to and not a moment before. Thanks for the continuing updates.

>>27279117
what
>>27279136
said. Leople's a nigger so fuck him. Personally though I'd think it'd be totes cool if there was some graphic description of Anon getting sum fuk with that horse.

Possibly from the perspective of Cadence who is spying on them from their window.

>>27279171
samefag here

She WAS breaking out her amber lager booze kit, right? That sounds like a decision that drunk Cadence would make.

>>27279178
>That sounds like a decision that drunk Cadence would make.
Honestly, that's not the worst idea I've heard.

>>27279193
Egg donor has made shit decisions while sober, not a stretch her drunk ideas would be the worst

>>27279378
No, I meant that including that in the story isn't a terrible idea.

> Terrible urban myths RGRE edition
> Rubbing marecum on balls makes them grow larger
> Marecum is good for the skin
> If you get two stallions drunk enough, they'll make out for attention
> Mare's milk is an antidepressant
> Lunar Academy stallions are sexually repressed

Other things: older stallions having a cougar-like appeal
Conversely older mares are treated like dirty old men, unless they have a silver fox thing going for them.

>>27279534
>The human is just a really masculine mare.

>>27279534
>Celestia straddles the spectrum as both glorious leader and lecherous old man.

>>27278031
Holy shit nigga, just how fast does time pass in Equestria compared to Earth?

>>27279691
Maybe it's like Narnia.

>>27279691
Considering Anon thinks fucking Velvet was a wet dream he had just the other night and Velvet mentions that she did it with Anon about 20 years ago.
Several Equestrian years in a single Earth hour.

>>27279748
>Anon goes back to Earth for a day.
>Twilight hasn't seen Anon in 96 years.

>>27279691
It varies.
Sometimes a day on equestria is a day on earth.
Sometimes a day on equestria is a minite on earth.
Sometimes you end up before you started.
It's mostly determined by plot needs rather than any internal consistency.

>>27279568
>Mares assume Anon is a lesbian
>A very colty-looking lesbian
>Gay thoughts ensue
>Disappointment/Excitement upon finding out that Anon's a male

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>>27279916
>>Mares assume Anon is a lesbian
>>A very colty-looking lesbian
>>Gay thoughts ensue

>>27279997
Well. It's an alien. How can you tell it's gender? The best you can do is make assumptions based on behavior.

>>27279691
>What is time travel?

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>>27280014
Does this alien even have a gender?
We need to gather more evidence to figure out.

WE NEED PICTURES, PICTURES OF THE HUMAN!

>>27280048
So, I'm getting this image of some obsessed mare trying to figure out his gender, as no pone can figure out anon's gender. Cue the "It's Pat" situations.

>>27280048
>"If Anon doesn't want to be famous, we'll make him.... INFAMOUS"

>>27279824
EQUESTRIA CONFIRMED FOR FOUL IMMATERIUM

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>in a world where ponies are structurally the same as real life horses


>"Fluttershy, be careful! We don't even know what that creature IS yet!"
>You smile at Twilight's concern but you don't stop nuzzling your new friend.
"I-it's okay, Twilight. It's a m-male, which means that it w-won't be as aggressive as a f-female of its species. See?"
>You wrap a wing around the creature and he doesn't try to push it away.
"H-he likes me!"

>You are Anon and what is even going on.
>You're being cuddled by a horse-sized yellow horse with wings
>You're honestly freaking out pretty badly right now and your body has chosen the "stay where you are and wait for mommy to find you" method of dealing with stress.
>You especially don't want to panic and flail around now that the purple horse with the sharp horn coming out of its head is investigating you
>The yellow one wrapped its wing around you when the purple one got too close, so the yellow one's cool with you
>You don't know what happened but you think you've been accepted as one of them


>You are Fluttershy once more
>"Wait, how did you figure out that it was a male, Fluttershy?"
>Hmm.
>"W-well..."


>You are Anon
>You were a virgin once
>You remember those days fondly

>>27280205
Shit I fucked up on Fluttershys line

>You are Fluttershy once more
>"Wait, how did you figure out that it was a male, Fluttershy?"
>Hmm.
"W-well..."

>>27280205
Bigpons a nice.

>>27280217
B-But giantess fetish a shit.

>>27280231
BIGPONS A NICE.

>>27280231
A SHIT

>>27280231
>>27280243
>Not wanting to be the small spoon
What are you, gay?

>>27280245
Thank you based Durnk

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>>27280276
>being little spoon
>forcing the little pone to comfort and protect you
get out of my fucking sight you disgusting animal

>>27280298
I agree, forcing smolpons to be big spoon is NO GOOD

Therefore, bigpons a nice

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>>27280205
>>in a world where ponies are structurally the same as real life horses
>Picture depicts a pony the size of an elephant.

>>27280345
Magic is a thing in Equestria and as such it is reasonable to assume that our normal biology and engineering rules don't always apply

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>>27280353
Magic or not, real life horses are still not the size of elephants, Durnk.

>>27280360
These are magic horses in magic horse land.
Also bigpons like that are nice.
Based nivros is based

>>27280345
It was either that or vampire fluttershy hugging doll-sized Anon

>>27274576
in a world where polygamy is the norm, does a second man come in as a "usual" thing or is it more almost always a 1 man many female due to disparity between the sexes?

i know i said it last time this prompt came up, i have issues sleeping with other people in the room much less multiple people same bed, if we need another guy then fine, i could live with it, so long as no one was being shitty to me over the whole thing.

but the way this prompt comes off is the mares agree to bring in another guy. and they fight over him (exception being rainbow dash possibly) and even then i could be ok with it, its the new hot thing in their lives, but he turns out to be a complete piece of shit, and depending on what anon notices/says it could easily ruin what i have with at least twilight (given she stayed with him till the "real foal" came up) possibly applejack depending on how early she came.

if you want to make this, and you want to make it good following this prompt, you have to make time turner a complete piece of shit from the get go that just has a new car smell to him, one wife (probably rainbow) stays with anon regardless, as he is who she wanted to be with and the turner is here for helping with the kids.

you have to make anon pissed, but have him willing to try to make it work.

>>27280403
>in a world where polygamy is the norm, does a second man come in as a "usual" thing or is it more almost always a 1 man many female due to disparity between the sexes?
RL horses often have herds composed of 1-to-5 stallions and 5-to-25 mares, so that's what my headcanon is sticking to.

>>27280419
we are going gender disparity equestria, and if you are in a heard there it's not for safety reasons like irl, it's for the sake of not enough man to go around.

personally, if we go with real world figures, humans are sex gods to ponies, and in this case, where i cant have a kid of my own, i would be pretty ok being sex god anon in the heard where the rest are there for either personality someone likes or just for the sake of having a kid.

>>27278430
unless anon is magic immune, magic
>>27277156
locking the stallions/mares in a closet and only feeding them when necessary, and manning the colts up enough to pass as real guys.
>>27277053
specifically makes a point to break every fuckin rule within 10 minutes of seeing her again after he passes.

>>27276970
>>27277047
>>27277004

the only way to make this work is from pony perspectives, as we can all find videos of people dealing with ptsd, the mannerisms of people who had to deal with war.

never let an episode take place in the first person from anons perspective. as a story the only way to make this work is go edgy as fuck, however a string of oneshots with anon dealing with it. pre luna confirming that it's not something minor, could be VERY interesting in the right hands.

hell in our lives we may well see how we treat female infantry vets, but in equestria this is how anon would be treated.

depending on how candy coated you want to make it, ponies could have ligitimate ptsd from minor things, and think anons ptsd are even more minor than that and scoff at him... till luna sees what caused the ptsd...

like others said, this is prone to edge as fuck and you would have to avoid it, but an interesting one shot series.

>>27280419
>>27280434
Fuck you, if you want it to be done some way then write it.

>Be Anon in Equestria
>It's horse christmas
>You're all together in the lounge room with the rest of the town
>The tree is all lit up with glowglobes and lightning-tinsel
>A star is perched on the top with a dong ring still glued on to it from when the childponies tried being creative
>But that's now what matters during the festive season
>What matters is the PRESENTS
>There are lots of them under the tree of all shapes and sized and colours
>Everyone bumrushes the tree
>You grab yours while wading through the tide of eager smallhorses
>Ooh this one's a big one
>You lug your treasure off to a corner of the room to open
>The first gift you open is from Princess Celestia, and is a pair of socks
>Then you discover Luna sent you a pair of socks
>Each package you open turns out to be socks, until only one large box remains
>Inside the large box is a derp-eyed black-furred pegasus
>"Hi Anon! Thanks for getting me out of there."
>She tries to fly off but you aren't having any of that
"Stay."
>You look back into the box and see that there is one of those fancy magic anvils, the ones that are only heavy when you flip a switch
>"Do you like it? I know you wanted to try that blacksmithing stuff."
>You hug your new pet pony, some of the soot rubbing off her and onto you
"Good pony."

>>27280581
That kind of didn't go how i meant for it to go.
>Anon is at horese christmas
>Opens gifts
>Finds a pony inside one of them
>Is told that the pony is now his new herdmate
>Apparently gifting is an accepted method of a herd getting new members?
>Anon finds horse customs strange.

>>27280581
>Fuck you, if you want it to be done some way then write it.

so we can't discuss something that no one wants to do because it would be overall shitty, with advice on the only way to do it and not make it an outside of rgre story?

>>27280612
I think I used bad wording.
It was more towards the "This is how it's done here" attitude, which i saw as "Dont do it other ways".
Discussion and worldbuilding is good.

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>>27280205
Please god someone give me a full on green story on this

>Be Anon
>Your husband Twilight's dad and you are at the park.
>The wives are off being wives elsewhere, you kind of just leave them to it most of the time.
>You're far too busy with more important stuff
>Such as teaching the stallions how to be men instead of little faggots.
>There's one now.
>You and Twilight's stealthily stalk your prey, using hand/hoof signals for silence
>Once the target is close enough, you throw the net and Twilight's shoots magic blasts at them
>Once he's subdued, you apply a generous amount of tape to the small grey pony and drag him back to the house
>Twilight's covers your escape with some illusion magic.

>Be Rumble in a basement
>You've been foalnapped by somepony
>You didn't see who it was, but now you've got a chain around your leg and a shock collar around your neck
>You'd cry but the last time you did that they shocked you until you stopped
"Please, I'll be a man, just let me go."
>"A MAN DOESN'T BEG"
"ARRRGHBLBLRLBLRBL"

Oh shit, are we back on?

>>27280803
Aaaaaand we're off!

> Be Anon, getting pretty serious about dating ponywaifu
> "Wait, you're not a virgin?"
"Yeah, I lost that v-card a while ago."
> "Huh. I mean, I just don't know how I feel about a mare I don't know raising one of your foals."
"Well, we used protection, so no kids."
> "Your first time was with a goat? I mean, you used protection, so I guess she was just a friend in heat, but still."
"No it was a human. We call our offspring kids. A friend in heat? Well, I guess you're not entirely wrong."
> She snuggles up to you
> "Then everything is fine, I can be the first one to bear your child."
> ...
> You're going to marry this horse
"It's a promise."

>>27274913
gotta love pear necklaces.

>>27281161
Applejack doesn't.

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>>27281057
>sex only for procreation
>only in the traditional position
That's how the problem grows.

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>>27274913
What a fine list.

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>>27281218 >>27281161

So, with flipped gender roles in society, did the usage of insults like "dick" and "pussy" (or their Equestrian equivalent) also flip?

Basically, I'm asking which a particularly assholish mare would be called - dick, or pussy?

>>27281327
Cunt would be used more often by normal ponies. and britpones will yell dick instead.

>>27281327
pls notice that dick and cunt are equivalent in this case
so the interesting thing is the equivalent of PUSSY

>>27281327
Ponies are way too adorable to swear like that.

>>27281335
Cunt will be used all the time by normal ponies.
It really just means "mare".
Fat cunt, skinny cunt, blue cunt, red cunt, bird cunt, mud cunt, horny cunt.
Nothing untoward here, really.

>Be Pony daughteru No 4
>You are the smallest, flyest and fastest of them all
>And you have enough of the shit of the new stallion that mom put in power
>Trying to touch you big alicorn sister
>Putting in distress your 2th sister by telling her that she is fat
>She is an eath pony, and stronger than that buck
>Saying your Horny sister that she got ugly mane
>Trying to take your skittles away
>You stay in the way of him
"THAT'S RIGHT STEP-QUEER, YOU LET MY SISTER ALONE OR ELSE"
>You spread your wings and make sound to spook him, that will show him
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pQk4a5fJrBc
>As he gets closer, you get the frame quite right
>He is bigger than you
>His front hooves are moving quickly
>You can't move, and you can't hit a stallion
>BUCKING DAD AND YOUR BUCKING RULES!
>"You little shit, don't look at me like that"
>His hoove is up
>This is it
>Time to face the music
>You are ready for this
>As you wait
>You hear a collection of screams and struggle in front of you
>Looking again, you see that you are behind the legs of a giant
>And that's not a giant
>Your eyes...are filled with liquid pride
>You feel his hand touching your hair
>Daddy is back...
>"AHHH!!!"

>You are Anon
>Just when you are on you way home, you detour to see how Time Turner is taking care of...
>And with the strength of many bears, you run, grab and toss the shit that nigglet of a pony out of your way
>When you heard the chirping of one of your girl
>You knew that there were problems
>And just when he got his hoof ready, you got your everything ready
>Nobody touch your baby grill
>Putting your hand on her head, she leans back to your hand
>She was trembling
>Your girls look scared, even you earth daughteru
>There will be blood
>That fuck tried to hit your girl
>How knows what else tried to do
>You steel yourself and get ready to kick
"AHHH!!!"
>You can help but smile as you are about to make a goal with a tiny horse
>But his fearful face makes it all better

>>27280419
This, probably. But these stories are wish-fulfilment self-inserts, and writer's aren't IRL fags who like watching another man fuck their waifus, so the issue of more than one man in a herd is never brought up.

>>27281352

>The fucker jumps away from you foot to the right and tries to tackle you
>You grab him again and try to take him away from you to do your thing
>He keeps making that weird thing withs mouth
>[Intimidating the big one horse noise]
>You think you broke him when you tossed him
>As you try to take him, you can't help but hear around you
>"Stallions fighting!!"
>"Isn't he Time turner?"
>"He is fighting his Alpha male!"
>"He is wants the royal herd!"
>"You can do it Timy!"
>"Kick his ass Anon!... No offense Cranky"
"Please, we are just making-OUCH"
>You don't pay attention as he bites your right arm
>This little fucker whats to play rought
>LETS PLAY ROUGH!


>You are Time Turner
>And you are limping for you life
>You knew this was a bad idea
>You knew that he was a monster
>But when that piece of shit of a filly showed her teeth, you just reacted
>The instint took the better of you and now you feel like shit
>And when you bitted him, you though that you won
>No pony can stand the bite, but he is not a pony
>You can feel the mark of his boot on you behind
>Today was a "don't try to hit fillies or his monster dad will kick the shit out of you" kind of day"

>>27281352
>queer-fag tries to bad-touch my daughteru
This is one of the few times I'd see edge as being acceptable. That stallion is walking away with one less kneecap.

>>27281415
>>"You can do it Timy!"

>Twilight smiles awkwardly at you after watching Time Turner limp out of the house
>Your relationship with her takes much longer to recover than the other's do.

>>27280419
Quick question for you Anon, are you foreign? This will determine what happens next.

>>27281457
>Quick question for you Anon, are you foreign? This will determine what happens next.
Not this anon, but the question is 10/10.

>>27281457
>Quick question for you Anon, are you foreign?
Foreign from where?
This is an internet website, not a country.

>>27281483
That means yes, yes you are foreign.

Oh shit, whoops, I meant to ask >>27280403 if he was foreign (aka English is not his mother tongue). Sorry, >>27280419.

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>>27281497

Oh shit, posting works again,

>>27280625
i worded it wrong or the way i worded it came to that.

generally herding happens in equestria's where we take the gender disparity as a fact, and in the case of rgre, the whole concept is based on men have a lower ratio so are treated differently from birth (though this skus one way or another based on who writes it, either they are just as capable as they normally would be but are marginalized/put on a pedestal, or they are actually the equivalent physically af females... which honestly is a bit of a stretch if you want to take how adult ponies are in the show as a baseline) but beyond that we were going a disparity of genders...

now the question is, do we have multiple men be the norm as it would be in real life when the reasoning in real life is more to do with safety in numbers opposed to just a disparity in numbers?

>>27281507
i assume you are
>>27281457

no, im not.
not quite sure where this is going, but i have a smile non the less.

>>27279569
Underrated post

>>27281507
I'm asking this because the last time I told someone to stop typing like an illiterate retard, it turned out that he was foreign and was trying his best to speak English properly and I felt like an asshole.

>>27281514
And there's my answer. Learn to grammar, Anon. People generally take you less seriously when you don't put effort into spelling and grammar.

>>27281415
>not putting him in a choke hold
The weak should fear the strong

>>27281531
Proper grammar is a standard for most people. By the time you're old enough to write papers for high school or for university, you're generally able to write with proper punctuation and all that good stuff. When you don't follow the rules that you've learned, people assume that you are either too young to have been properly taught them, or that you're an idiot who can't grasp the basics of a very simple subject.

>>27281352
>>27281415
>>27281442
the one thing that you learn quick in a fight is don't use your feet, god knows the third time i got put on my back because of kick gone wrong i stopped doing it unless there was no way i would miss or they could take action.

>>27281571
That's why you go for the eyes Anon. If someone's trying to hurt my kids then he fucking deserves to crawl around like an eyeless insect.

>>27281522
>>27281531
>>27281568

i learned a long time ago that on this board to discount anyone who wholey dismisses what you write due to "grammar" making me waste my time figuring something out only ti find out later not one of the people who complained read past the first word of what i wrote. fixing my grammar may engage a few more people than if i don't, but if what i write is whole discounted due to a grammar flaw i dont care about their opinions in the first place.

i seriously despise every facet of the english language and every single one of it contradictory rules that have to be memorized because there is no rhyme or reason for them.

>>27281583
go for the throat, its a bigger target that can lead to a fairly devastating physical damage, if not that phycological at the least.

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Please stop making Time Turner into a villain.

>>27281623
that's not time turner, that's the Valeyard

>>27281623
No. He knows what he did.

>>27281602
Deal with it. Nobody will take you seriously if they think they're dealing with a child who doesn't know how to type. And if doing shit like capitalizing the first letter in a sentence and learning how to spell two-syllable words right is too hard for you, then I have bad news for you.

I think it's important to differentiate a herd of horses from the RGRE construct of a herd. In a horse herd, there is a heiarchy, and stallions mate within their peer group. Low horses and high horses do not experience social mobility, and their positions are hereditary. The horse middle class, as it were, are the only ones jockeying for position.
RGRE herds, however, are essentially the mating group of one stallion. As ponies became civilised, this became a marriage-like institution.

>>27281623
When did he turn into a the big evil here anyway... I see him come up far more than anyone else when a bad guy is needed.

>>27281602
AiE had this stubborn faggot a long time ago who absolutely refused to put even a minimal effort into his spelling and no one read his shit even if he insisted that his stuff was good. Mistakes happen and that's okay, but don't be an ass.

>>27281415

>You are earth pony daugtheru
>You are on your way home with your sister and daddy
>You are getting sad with every step
>This was all your fault
>If it wasn't for your fat ass being, this would have never happened
>Now dad is mad at you
>He will not love you again
>[Sad, horse noise]


>You are Unicorn Daughteru
>You did your best to help dad and you sisters
>But what kind of sister are you
>You don't deserve this honor
>You couldn't defend you sister, and you promised to him
>And you let him down
>...feels bad mare


>You are Bird pone daughteru
>... and you are weak
>You needed your dad to defend yourself
>That's just...
>you are just...
>...


>You are Alicorn Daugteru
>You are the worst
>Mom told you what to do
>And to take care of your sisters
>To help papa to deal with thigs
>To be helpful of the new stallion
>But like always, you are scare
>You were scared
>You are still scared
>He could come back and try to do nasty things to your sisters
>Daddy got back quickly
>And if it wasn't here...
>Daddy...

>In one moment, the mind of the four ponies got together
>"Please... no one cry, we are mares, wait to home..."
>You are Anon, and you are happily on your way to home-war-home-fire
>Why is that?
>Because you just kicked the shit out of that little horse
>Trying fuck with muh keeds
>But now it's not the time to celebrate
>This little marshmellow horses are quite persistent
>So!
>To make things straight with him, you are gonna take his stuff and put fire on it
>OUTSIDE THE HOUSE
>You've learnd your lesson
>You may be the mom in this marshmellow horse world, but damn, it feels fucking right
>When you arrive home, you will make some vegetarian and carnivore stew
>Thanks Jebus that your girls can take your meat well enough
>No pun intended
>Canines, green eyes and habilities far beyond pony-kind
>Maybe you can make them the advengers
>You can be Black-widow
>Yes, you will a be widow
>Just wait till your lovely wifes get home
>Where the fuck are they...

>>27281679
I'm cool with that. I wish more people would world-build a little bit and try to incorporate bits of horse behaviour, if only to emphasize that ponies are more than just humans in different bodies like they're usually treated.

>>27281689
I think that started back with Frostybox? When she was doing those Caramel stories, that was the earliest I remember him coming up as a douche.

>>27281689
It might have been a story that Comfy wrote. People wanted a villain and they were tired of Flash Sentry. In fact, I think even Caramel was a herd-wrecker for a brief period of time before Time Turner was decided upon.

>>27281704
>>Yes, you will a be widow

>widow


uhhh...

>>27281704
>>Thanks Jebus that your girls can take your meat well enough
>>No pun intended
>>Canines, green eyes and habilities far beyond pony-kind

>Anon's daughters can survive for longer in harsher conditions
>A broken leg isn't a fatal injury in a hybrid pony as it often is for normal ponies (without access to magic healing)
>Their brains are built more like a predator's rather than a prey's, making them more aggressive and creative with their survival instincts
>Hybrids are more intelligent because it takes more brain-power to work with others to hunt and capture an animal in the wild than it does to run from a monster that's chasing you

>>27281689
>>27281720
Nah, his thread villainy predates that. I know the big one was the prompt and series of shorts where Anons herd leaves him for TT. There may have been instances of TT the villain before that, the more I think about it the more likely I think that, but that was the first time it was really explored in depth by anons and writefags.

>>27281699
i honestly think that may have been me, enough people read what i made so i know i had people reading it and i didn't write it specifically for other people, i wrote it to get ideas out and further my thoughts on something.

you know what got me the most, i put time in to figuring out ways to automate most of what i did, and i figured a new coat of paint on some of what i wrote wouldn't hurt. here i was appeasing people who bitched about the first letter not being capitalized, when in the same sentence half of it was so fucked i didnt even know what the fuck it was originally suppose to be.

when i butcher a sentence horribly, i appreciate the heads up that its fucked, god knows i wrote most of it and later dicated it so late at night that it would make sense at the time. what i got was what i assume 1 person same faggging telling me that i should capitalize the letters and that's it, that's it, same sentence was a garbled mess, but all i was told was cap letters. thank that one person for me refusing to cap shit unless its automatic on this board.

and i don't think the stories are good, i know it based on feedback from non garbled messes and how many people still tell me to write when i post an idea, if the stories/concepts (really nothing i won't ever took off for long) were bad i wouldn't get that.

oh, one last thing, lets end it here, as i have been down this path quite a few times and it never ends with someone changing my mind, only a cluster of people bitching till the original posts are forgotten.

>>27281805
Are you really bitching about putting in the minimal effort into making your work look presentable? What do you want people to say? Don't scribble your essay onto a crumpled sheet of loose-leaf, write with a red crayon, and then get sad when the professor rejects your paper without even reading it. Welcome to being an adult.

>>27281401

It is brought up, just rarely. Because I remember a oneshot where Shining and Cadence's baby looked like a satyr due to birth defects, making everyone think Anon was the father.

Anon was forced to join their herd as a result, and when Shining tried to 'assert dominance', he fucked him instead.

>>27281805
>oh, one last thing, lets end it here, as i have been down this path quite a few times and it never ends with someone changing my mind, only a cluster of people bitching till the original posts are forgotten.
If you recognize that people call you out on this problem, and you refuse to address the problem then why do you still defend yourself? Grammar, sentence structure, and syntax all exist with purpose. You ignoring that does not make you edgy, special, or above that. I forced myself to read your posts, but I had to force myself. Your inability to organize your thoughts and obey simple structural rules makes me pay more attention to how you're writing than what you're writing.

>>27281805
So it was you Alladin?

>>27281878
this is the internet, and this is 4chan, if i say my pinkies don't function and at the time that was just the case. since then my hands have gone to shit, either i use less fingers to type then i already was, or i make one post an hour because. you start typing with 2 fingers than then capping everything that needs to be capped and tell me its worth the effort when i know it fucking isn't.

>>27281898
and i will never understand people like you, every time i get something like this i re read what i wrote slowly. the first line is a bit of a run on, but not hard to read. second one reads fine, along with the rest, sans a run on in the third.

i get that i think faster then i type, more so now then back then, and a few of the posts i have made had sections missing i thought i that i typed, but even then. how is this hard read when its not garbled... i will for the life of me never understand this, either i'm special and sentences without perfect grammar don't trip me up, or other people are deficient... i can never figure out which.

>>27281905
its funny how often people attribute posts to other people then me, or that i'm even remembered this long after i stopped writing in and putting the things in the bin.

>>27281947
Could you please put on a trip or a name or something so I can put you on my block list? This tumblr-level snowflake approach to ignoring simple grammar and style rules is irritating.

>>27281947
Your shit would unreadable even if you'd bother with spelling. Get out to pollute some other thread.

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>>27278050
M O R E

>>27281957
He refused to do that in AiE for a long time. You will read his NTT Lector tier ramblings and you will like them.

>>27281975
>He refused to do that in AiE for a long time.
Well, shit. It was worth a try. I've known other autists who were willing to wear a trip for this very reason.

>You will read his NTT Lector tier ramblings and you will like them.
>NTT Lector tier
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

We need some divine intervention right now to save us from the retardation here.

>>27281947
Bullshit. If you can space the effort into typing "don't" instead of "dont", then you can press one extra button and capitalize your letters.

>>this is the internet, and this is 4chan
So? Notice that almost everyone else types properly here. I remember when I had the attitude that you did. Then I graduated from high school.

>>how is this hard read when its not garbled... i will for the life of me never understand this, either i'm special
Maybe you THINK you're special. You want people to read your stuff and to take you seriously? Put the bare-fucking-minimum effort into presenting it properly.

>>its funny how often people attribute posts to other people then me
That's because almost everybody who posts regularly has syntax quirks that they themselves probably don't even notice. Whether its capitalization, or sentence structure, or even how you use your commas and semi-colons, your writing style is generally unique to you.
>All I did was let everybody see my face. How did they recognize me later?

>>27282013
Just think about how nasty anal is for stallions, knowing that their penis retreats into their sheath and they can't just get it out to clean.

Go to Bed everyone

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>>27282013
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IUZEtVbJT5c

>>27282027
But it's the morning here in Cali

>>27282024
Aww, FUCK Anon, why would you say that? I guess at least now we know why stallions save anal sex for special occasions.

>>27282022
>space the effort
SPARE the effort, excuse me.

Protip, tard-Anon: the reply window comes with a built-in spell-check. All you do is right-click on the word that has the red underline and a list of suggestions will pop up. You clearly are putting effort into not trying.

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>>27282032
The Sun and Moon themes of Celestia and Luna really appeal to me on a visceral level.

>>27282037
It's bedtime somewhere

>>27282024
>>27282038

>Anon initially doesn't understand why stallions hate anal sex
>They think he's a gross degenerate who never cleans his dick
>After several shenanigans, it's explained that human males don't have sheaths so their dicks are out all the time, making them easier to clean

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>>27282052
My favorite herd.

>>27282032
>>27282052
>>27282154

>>27282154
>>27282184
>>27282052
>>27282032
remove worstpons

SO HEY HOW ABOUT SOME GREEN HUH

>You are Anon, and you think you might have just peed yourself a little bit.
>Here before you stands the (formally) sole ruler of Equestria: The sun goddess-queen Celestia.
>You had hoped to avoid attracting her attention, but you clearly underestimated how far her information network is spread.
>The Great Eye is ever-watchful.
>You'd read up on her, of course; Twilight had practically shoved history books about Equestria down your throat when you first arrived.
>>"How can you teach if you don't know anything about the land?"
>Apparently teaching is one of the few careers that a "stallion" like yourself can pursue.
>Fucking sexist ponies.
>Sexist ponies whose attitudes and societal norms can be traced back to the winged horse-wizard in front of you.
>After her sister was banished, Celestia had full and uncontested rule of the land.
>That meant that laws were passed easily for her.
>Challenging politicians is one thing; challenging a being responsible for the sun rising every morning is another thing entirely.
>Stallions weren't always so... well... pathetic, like they are today.

>>27282243
>The gender-ratio gap that exists today apparently existed also over a thousand years ago.
>One stallion for every four-to-six mares are born, meaning that polygamy is necessary if ponies want to keep their birth rates out of the red.
>The sun-goddess had wanted to preserve the pony race, and so she made it her mission to protect the males of the species.
>Celestia had slowly influenced the laws to limit what a stallion could do.
>Less dangerous jobs were available to them and, in some cases, there were jobs that only a mare could legally do.
>She had changed how society had viewed the sexes: to look down on stallions for the weaknesses that SHE HERSELF was responsible for instilling!
>To praise mares for being female and thus, superior.
>She had done this so slowly and over so much time that nobody even noticed that it was happening.
>Nobody believed you when they pointed this out.
>They didn't see the connections that you saw; the lines that led back to Celestia all those years ago.
>The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world she didn't exist.
>"Anon?"
>Twilight's nudging your leg.
>"Are you feeling okay?"
>But you don't dare look away from Celestia's eyes; not for one second.
>>"It's alright, Twilight," replies Celestia with an innocent giggle.
>>"Plenty of stallions feel intimidated when first they see me."
>Twilight laughs in return and you can hear a twinge of (possibly unintended) condescension in her mirth.
>"You have nothing to worry about, Sweetheart. We talked about this; Celestia's here to HELP you, okay?"
>Yup; you just peed a little bit.

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>>27282243
Hold on Pluggo, we're dealing with a possible Heretic right now.

>>27282234
You better not be suggested that Celestia and Luna are worst pones. I've heard some shitty opinions about a lot of different horses in my time, but that would take the fucking cake.

>>27282119
>Mares come up to Anon after the news gets out and say that they don't believe him
>Anon gets plenty of return customers who are "sceptical" despite all the times he's whipped out his weiner for them

>>27282266
Nah, I'm done anyway. Keep fighting the good fight. Hail Sithis!

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>>27282290
Please write more.

>>27282339
Would if I could. My inspiration went as far as "what if Anon thought Celestia was terrifying?" and ended right there.

>>27282251
>>Yup; you just peed a little bit.
Just let it all out.
In her face.

>>27282266
>defender is whfag
confirmed worstpons
sic semper tyrannis

Surprise!

"Look, I get you're excited to make my suit, but did you have to attempt to strip me down..."
>"I need to get your measurements right..."
"In front of my daughter?"
>"Alright, I may have been a bit overzealous, but this is truly a momentous event."
"Cadence got married only months ago, and I've heard you designed her dress."
>Sitting back, Rarity, fixes you with a rather dissapointed look.
>"Anon, while it was a pleasure creating a dress for a friend of a friend, and a princess no less, you are a whole different story."
>"You were like a second dad to me," she starts before pausing a second, "or maybe more of a big brother, but also you're one of a kind and you'll a direct prince of Equestria or maybe even a king, unlike Shining who is mainly a prince in title like Cadence."
>Tape measures tighten around your thigh, drawing your attention back to what is happening.
>"Anyways, just stay still so I can get these measurements done. I know the wedding isn't for a little bit, but I need this suit to be perfect."
>Letting out a sigh, you have to tense up when Rarity gives you a sharp stare.
>Ten minutes and dozens of measurements later, and she's got all she needs.
>Setting her notepad and tape measures aside, she sits down, you doing the same.
>"So, how are you holding up? I hear colts get really nervous and flighty before their wedding."
"Really now, where'd you hear that?"
>"Oh, you know, places," she says, glancing away nervously.
>You fix her with your best teasing smile, staring her down.
>"Really, I just heard it around..."
>Your smile grows, and she finally caves, buring her head in her hooves.

>>27282251
ooc

>>27282488

>"Fine, I read romance novels, okay. They have good stories, just don't go telling anyone."
"I don't plan on it, you're my friend after all."
>Looking up from her hooves, she smiles back, settling into a more normal seated position.
>"So back to the question, are you doing well?"
"To be honest, I'm sort of nervous. Like you said, this is a really big thing, and unlike what I heard of Shining Armor, I'm not going to be mind controled into complacency for it."
>"I heard you got targeted during the attack, at least you didn't get captured or worse."
"I wasn't the one they wanted," you say, shaking your head, "It was Venus."
>"Still, I'm glad the two of you are safe and fine."
>The front door suddenly opens, and Luna and Venus walk in, loaded with treats.
>"We return with Ice-cream," Luna proclaims, before freezing as she sees you in only your shorts.
>Rarity said she needed the measurements to be precise, and you've known her long enough to trust her.
>Venus has seen you in this or less at times, so it doesn't bother her too much, but Luna.
>She goes full on red in the face, trying to look away but unable to stop staring.
>Rising from your seat, you walk over and pick the unlicked Ice-cream cone from her magical grip, giving it a long, sensuous lick while staring right into her eyes.
>You're pretty sure you hear a few drips, but the ice-creams are still cold and unmelting.
>"Daddy, I picked you out a blueberry one, since I knew you'd like it," Venus says, hopping into the chair you left with her own cone.
"You made a good choice," you say in agreement, giving it another lick before turning from Luna.
>"I need to borrow your bathroom," Luna says, hurrying to the aforementioned room.
>Despite it being fall, it's still warm out, so you open the window, letting a breeze into the living room.
"So, do you have any plans for my suit, Rarity?" you ask, taking a seat on the last open seat.

>>27282501

>"A few, but I think I'll keep them a secret for now. It's bad luck for a mare to see her colt's outfit before their wedding after all."
"If you say so."
>Venus suddenly lets out a gasp of pain, and her hooves go to her head.
"Brain freeze?"
>She nods, her cone suspended by magic, a bite taken out of the scoop.
>Shaking your head, you take a lick of your ice-cream again, this one far less sensual.
>It takes a minute or two for Luna to finish her business, but after that, she joins you in the living room.
>But with no seat available...
"You can sit in my lap if you want, Luna."
>She blushes again and replies, "I can sit on the floor just fine. So, what brings you here... Rarity, was it?"
>"That's me, and I was here to get Anon's measurements for his suit, but I've finished that."
>"Then you are his tailor, I take it?"
>Rarity shakes her head, mane bouncing with it's curls, "No, just an old friend he used to babysit. In truth, he led me to my career in fashion."
"Really? That's news to me," you say.
>"Well look at you, always wearing clothes, and yet they were always casual compared to the formal clothing us ponies wear when we do."
"Not having fur or a sheath can do that. Humans wear it because it protects our body in the same way your fur does."
>"I thought as much, seeing your chest like that," Rarity says, gesturing to you, "There's almost no tuft to keep you or your mare warm."
>"I th.. think he is just fine without a big tuft," Luna stutters out, staring at your bare chest.
>Reaching out, you rub her head, pausing to gently tug on and tweak an ear.
"I'm glad you like it, dear."
>The same blush from when she walked in rises again, until Venus interrupts you.
>"Stop teasing her Daddy, you two can have all the adult fun you want after you get married."
"Fine, fine, it was just a little affection," you say, raising your hands, carefull not to have ice-cream drip on your head.
>Rarity lets out a laugh befor hopping down from her chair.

>>27282513

>"If you'll excuse me, I have a few stops I'd like to hit before I have to head back to Ponyville. Take care, you three."
"You as well," you reply, "See you around."
>"Bye Rarity!" Venus calls out, and Luna gives a farewell to her as well.
>After the door closes, a silence hangs in the air for a moment.
>"So... what shall we do now?"
>"Board games!" Venus says, hopping up to run and get the games.
"I'll get the snacks then," You say, rising yourself.
>"Then I will, uh... what do I need to do?"
"Sit there and look pretty."
>"Uh, alright..."
~~~
>"Luna, you look amazing in that dress," Celestia says, eyeing you front to flank.
>In a totally sisterly, "make sure she looks good for her wedding" kind of way, of course.
"I only hope Anon thinks the same," you reply, looking over yourself in the mirror.
>"Don't get too nervous, that's the colt's job."
"I'm fine, I have fought off changelings, survived a thousand years of insanity and lived with you. A wedding is nothing compared to that."
>A wing bats the side of your head, and you shove Celestia back with your shoulder.
"You should probably look at getting dressed as well, the Ceremony starts pretty soon."
>"I'm the minister, I can't wear anything fancy, remember."
"Maybe not while running the ceremony, but for the party afterwards, you should be prepared."
>"Are you trying to hook me up? That's Venus' job."
"Not at all, but if we are all going to be enjoying ourselves, you should wear something suitable."

>>27282516

>Your sister pauses, before grinning.
>And as her sister, you don't like that kind of grin.
>"Speaking of enjoying ourselves, I suppose there's a secret about Anon I know that I never told you."
>Quirking an eyebrow in curiosity, she lean into your ear.
"Oh..."
"Oh!"
>Now that is something you hadn't heard...
>The bigger question is, how does she know this?
>Before you can ask, Celestia pats you on the shoulder with a wing.
>"Don't worry about how, just think of what this means for you, you lucky lucky filly."
"Yes, but I don't want to force him..."
>"That's the best part, I heard he's totally open about it, though I guess it means I'll have to watch Venus often."
"I don't suppose the bouncy castle you kept has anything to do with that?"
>"Hey, just because it's meant for children doesn't mean adults can't enjoy it either."
>Rolling your eyes, you turn to your desk, grabbing up your cue cards with magic.
>Now how did that speech go again...
~~~
>"Sir, please, stop fussing and let us handle this, we're professionals."
>Letting out a slow, exasparated sigh, you stay just as still as you were before, which is as still as humanly posible.
>Apparently not still enough though, but the half dozen fashion and aestetic ponies assigned to you do their best despite it.
>Meanwhile, Venus just watches from the side, smiling.
>If she's getting a kick out of this, she's good at hiding it.
>"Just a bit more and... Done."
>Stepping back, the ponies look over you, examining you closely.

>>27282523

>"Well my friends, this was certainly a challenge, but I think we pulled it off."
>"Never thought I'd have the pleasure of prepping a Prince to be," another says, bouncing excitedly on his hooves, "And look at the job we did."
>"Some of our best work yet, no question."
>Chatting amungst themselves, they wander from the room, leaving you with Venus.
"I didn't think getting dressed for a wedding would be so..."
>"Coltish? Tiring? Handsomifying?"
"I'm pretty sure that last one isn't a word, but I was going for binding. I can barely breathe in this suit, let alone move much."
>"Maybe, but you do look fancy."
>Walking over to the mirror, you look yourself over.
>And she is right, you look incredible.
>The suit fits your body perfectly, showing form but concealing skin.
>Even the little pins and clips that the colts spend half an hour arguing over really fit the overall look.
>If only you cared enough about looks to want to learn little things that.
>Letting out the belt a notch, you can breath a little easier and still look amazing.
>"You wait here, Daddy, I'll go get my dress on, and then we can go."
"Don't take too long. If I fall over, I might not be able to get back up myself."
>"As long as you only fall for Luna, I'm okay with that. She can help get you up later."
>And with that, she skips out the door, heading to her guest room.
~~~
>Looking out over the crowded benches of ponies, you wait at the altar beside your sister.
>Dress perfect, breath flawless, and mane completely under control.
>You even made the stars in it stay in the shape of a heart with A+L in it.
>Hopefully he notices.
>Your sister has, and she has made several off-hoof comments about you being just like a filly with her first crush.
>To which you have told her to buck off several times, but she does have to minister the ceremony.