Reversed Gender Roles Equestria, best OP image edition

>>27255348
Glorious Dong RIng.

>>27255348
All hail the dong ring!

>>27255348
Dong Ring Returns!

Night from me.
Stayed up a bit too late, but just over 900 words in 2 hours is not bad. This update should be ready by the weekend at this rate.

>Rarity sits down in front of you as the your other herdgirls ponks and AJ stand behind her. Taking out a black box out of ponks hair she opens it to show you a gold ring.
>"Anon will you take our hoofs in marriage?"
>"Yah anon we can have the most awesome wedding party!" Ponks winks. "I'll even set up your bachelor party...."
>AJ even postures herself to show off her tuff that you like. "And I have a special barrel of cider I have been aging just for yah.
>You're honestly taken aback as you take the ring and start to put it on your ring finger.
"I'd love too girls! I... Wait... This doesn't fit."
>True to form the ring is bigger then even your thumb finger.
>Rarity and AJ look a bit confused yet excited as ponks does a giggle cry. "Silly Nonny! the ring goes on your dong! That's why we engraved it to say 'One ring to rule them mares!"
>......
>Fucking RGRE ring co.

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>>27255348
HE DID IT

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>>27255348
>mfw it's dong ring

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>>27255348

>tfw it's dong ring

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>>27255588
>Fucking RGRE ring co.

Them fucking digits ring co.

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>>27255348
remove donger

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>>27255588
>tfw no herdgirls

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>DONG RING DONG RING DONG RING DONG RING
>You tear open your front door
"Jesus fucking christ WHAT!?"
>"Teehee, sorry Nonny, but you have a really silly doorbell!"
>Fucking Pinkie Pie
>You look down at her while a stream of words rush out of her mouth a mile a minute
>"Do you wanna come out and play Anon? Me and the girls were gonna play some hoofball in the park and they said we should go pick some other ponies from around town to add to the teams, so I figured I'd ask you since you're really tall and strong and the other team will take it easy on you since you're a stallion!"
"Damn Pinkie, that's devious using their chivalry against them like that."
>Pinkie is deceptively smart
>You thought she was an airhead when you first showed up in town, but you learned quickly that pony is plots inside of plots wrapped in an adorable little pink enigma
>"Naww fuck 'em, they're just doing it because they think it'll help them get your dick anyway."
>She can also be about as blunt as Rainbow Dash and Applejack combined
>And has picked up some of your language
"Point. All right I'm in. "
>"Oooh Ooh, you should wear that singlet and those small shorts so you can distract the other teams with your hot sweaty body too!"
>You pause
"Pinkie are you suggesting this to distract the other team or because you want to 'distract' yourself?"
>"Err, both? Both sounds about right. Both."
>You can't help but smirk
>She's always a funny flirt, nowhere near as aggressive as other ponies in this town
>If you had a bit for every time you had to clap a mare round the back of her head for sniffing your junk, you'd be able to buy a bigger house
"Alright I'll be right back. Do you wanna come in or..."
>"Oooh! Can I watch?"
"No."
>"Worth a shot! Yeah I'll come in."
>You step aside and let Pinkie through the door into your house, before heading off to get changed
>Today'll be a fun day
>Thanks Pinkie

Almost accidentally posted this in a /tg/ thread. Whoops. No thanks no ban for me.

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>>27256498
>Posting pony in a /tg/ thread.

First time I got banned too.

>MFW no stallion on my board to tell to post dick pics or gtfo or camwhores to shoe-on-head.

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What do you think about >no hooves?
Sunset Shimmer specifically.

>>27256932
>"now feed me carrots and pet my mane!"
".....the things I do to get laid."

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>>27256982
And you're not even done just yet.

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>>27256932
>Pone Inside
Good enough

>>27256932
>>27256982
>You are Anon, and you think your girlfriend Sunset Shimmer might have brain damage
>She seemed fine at first, but after a while some things started adding up
>She was pretty aggressive at first trying to become your girlfriend, but hey, who doesn't like a girl who actually fucking knows what they want
>And then she started holding doors open and pulling out chairs for you, but you brushed it off as some weird kind of politeness
>She was also pretty sloppy at home, but hey sometimes girls are slobs too
>When you started to notice her strange pony obsession you began to suspect you were at risk of putting your dick in crazy
>She's randomly slip strange words into her vocabulary, saying things like "everypony" and asking you to "lend her a hoof"
>On top of that she occasionally asks for belly rubs and ear scratches, and seems to enjoy these an unreasonable amount
>You also saw her try and eat grass once
>She spat it out immediately afterwards but you just could never look at her the same after seeing her do something like that
>You don't know what to do
>You know you shouldn't stick your dick in crazy, but she's a really nice girl
>Maybe it's just a phase or something...

>>27249221
>>27250503
>>27253608
>>27253730
>>27253888
>>27253966
>>27253730

I believe these are all of the posts about spitballing a story.

still looking for help and will likely be awake for a few hours this time instead of posting and passing out.

>>27256932
I don't like it at all and I wish EqG would stay in its own threads.

>>27256498
First off, good job on the green. You've got a good handle on Panko, and we need us some more Funhoers.

>spoiler
Second, I feel you on the spoiler bit. I was cross posting pretty heavily one night and left my trip on while posting here. Not a big deal, but I make content on /tg/ and I didn't want to get outed. I was able to delete my post here, but not before being recognized. Thankfully anon didn't reveal my powerlevel, so all was well.

>>27257168
Normally, I would agree. But Sunset can be in a RGR Story if it's written that way. And Anon is being hunted instead of the other way around.

is there a pastebin or something with ALL the greens?

>>27257163
>Be Anon in thatquestria
>Twalot has forbidden you to make unsanctioned friendships
>Your bropon ponkie pink warned you this would happen if you didn't pretend to be a grill
>You didn't listen bro
"Godamnit stop rubbing it in, pinku"
>"But it's so much fu-un. Spoilsport."
"Well, miss prophet, where's the nuclear fire torching the landscape that you predicted?"
>You arrive at her shop
>"After you"
>Going into it you are soon followed by the pink one, who closes the door and pushes some tastefully concealed locks into place
>She bounces into the kitchen and you follow, taking a seat on a stool as she puts something on the stove and pulls down a projector screen from the ceiling
>"Silly filly, you can't have an apocalypse without popcorn."
>The screen lights up with what looks like a shot of ponyville in the distance
>You have a bad feeling about this
>"Pink leader to network stations, report your status."
>She's got a microphone in her hoof now and you hear popping noises
"What are you doing, Pinkie?"
>"Stony Barn to Party House, the tools have left the shed."
>"Eagles Nest to Party House, birds are airborne, repeat, airborne."
>More voices gave strange messages, Pinkie acknowledging them as they came
>Each one adds to your growing concern and now alarm
"Pinkie, is this one of those 'Self-fulfilling' prophecies of yous, by any chance?"
>"Popcorn's done!"
>"Popcorn acknowledged, over and out"
>Your companion sits down on the stool next to you and holds out a large bowl of popcorn
>There is a bright flash on the screen
>BAM, the town is gone!
>Pinkie munches popcorn as you stare in horror as the world outside burns
>A single thought overwhelms all others at this moment.
>Not of loss, dispair, regret, or horror.
>It's more a sort of relief.
>You are VERY glad that you made friends with Pinkie Pie.

>>27256932
Really depends on how it's used.

>>27257279
>no ding dong

>>27256498
Ponk is live, ponk is life

>>27257622
>Be Princess Celestia
>Just got back from a trip to the demon country under the sea
>No not an aquatic country, it's more a series of really big and decently lit caverns under the sea floor
>Jake, your succubus pony friend had invited for you to come over for demon-christmas
>It was very nice
>Unlike this.
>This is not nice at all.
>Where your capital city used to be is a smoking ruin
>Your castle is blasted apart
>Instead of being filled with your little ponies, it is deserted
>Since you're standing by the front door to it, you press the palace doorbell button
>DONG RING
>RING RING
>You step around the wreckage of the door itself and investigate the ringing
>It's the fire alarm
>Appropriate, since much of Canterlot is still burning
>You are not a happy pony, and when you find out who caused this mess, they won't be either.

>After digging out your study and going through your notes and letters for clues as to the cause of this, you have found something
>"To: Canterlot royal guard"
>"By order of Twilight Sparkle, the following ponies have been relocated to your city and forbidden from being friends with the human Anonymous due to their subversive and unpleasant nature."
>"Please ensure that they do not attempt to return to Ponyville or attempt any communication with the human Anonymous"
>"Sincerely, Princess Twilight Sparkle"

>Oh sweet solar shits she didn't....

>"Dear Princess Celestia"
>"YOU CAN'T CUT BACK ON FRIENDSHIP! YOU WILL REGRET THIS!"
>"Yours, Pinkamena Diane Pie"
>"Our words are backed with NUCLEAR WEAPONS!"

>Goddamnit Twilight why
>WHY

>>27257695
Today was a nuclear summer kind of day.

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>>27255588
Yus.

>>27255588
Well, only unicorns and alicorns have horns, so you need somewhere to put the ring on other colts.

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>>27257695
GUARANTEED DELIVERY

>>27257851
>Somewhere else
Like a prosthetic horn?

>>27257857
Now you write something.
How about a story about ponies thinking Anon is ugly and trying to get him to wear a horse mask?

>>27256498
This is a good thing. This is probably one of the best Ponko's I've seen in recent memory.

>>27257879
You could go the other way
> Homely Anon
> Puts on horse mask as joke
> Suddenly popular
> Capable of incredible scrunch, of which ponies have never seen before

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dragon waifu where

>>27257957
Never

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>>27257967
where

>>27257977
Not here, that's what. Find them at your local containment thread.

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>>27257984
WHERE

>>27257984
Slap some RGR on the dragon and she can stay
You go first writing though, i'm tired as fuck

>>27256498
I like your green. The dialogue is smooth and natural and your grammar is impeccable.

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>>27258014
This. He writes Ponka really well too.

>>27257149
>You think your girlfriend might have a fetish that would put her in jail if she tried to satisfy it.

>>27257178
>>27257677
>>27257895
>>27258014
>>27258024
>mah niggas praising mah best horse
Also Itsa me, Roofies, and I finally got a pastebin for my previous stories to go in. I guess I'll try fill it with more Ponk since people always say I'm good at writing her.
http://pastebin.com/u/RoofiesGreens
I haven't been dead I've just occaisonally been dropping shorts while anonymous, like this one. I think I'll try be better and write some longer stories while named so you guys can ask me for shit you want. Also I wonder if I write while under the influence of namefagging long enough if people will recognise my anonymous greens.

>>27257957
>>27257977
>>27257990
Here. Go here: >>27239758

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>>27258031
>I guess I'll try fill it with more Ponk since people always say I'm good at writing her.
aww yiss

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>>27257879
>Now you write something.
Ok, mom, I'll try...

>>27258031
>moar ponk
I love you, mang.

>>27258135
>"Good....good... come on pinchy-"
>You are Anon, and you smile on your park bench
>It's yours by the laws of the hobo
>I.e. 'I got here first'
>Although Berry Punch isn't a unicorn, she does really care about her foal
>So every day after school she joins her in the park to practice magic
>Today, apparently, is levitation
>"M-moooommmm, my horn is hurting-"
>"Come on sweetie, no pain no gain. Daddy'll make you an extra cheesy hayburger if you do it-"
>"Nnnnnn-"
>Sweat pouring down her forehead, little pinchy levitates the rock
>"Good... good! Now just like I told you, flick the head-"
>With a whip of her head Pinchy sends the rock flying!
>You're actually pretty impr-
>With a loud *thock* it slaps into Zecora's side, causing her to stumble
>"ZIGGER GO HOME!" they shout in unison
>Well this just got dark
>Today was a 1950's kinda day.

>>27256498
Ah fuck it, I'll post a bit of continuation on this one and then go to bed.

>You leave pinkie in your living room while you go change into your sports kit
>When you come back you find her on her back rubbing herself vigorously against your couch cushions
>Oh boy here we go
>You assume your regular pony scolding stance
"Is this some kind of strange pony thing where you try and rub your scent off on peoples shit to mark them as yours?"
>She stops and looks up at you with nothing but innocence in her eyes
>"No, this is a Pinkie Pie thing when her back is itchy and your couch feels amaaaazing."
>You breath a sigh of relief
>"And besides, if I was trying to mark it with my scent I'd be doing this!"
>Pinkie sticks her tongue out and quickly assumes the position of a dog about to wipe their arse on the carpet
>Oh no you don't
>you quickly pick her up off your couch before she can ruin the cushions forever
>You had an incident with Purple Smart when you first got here and now you know that little horse stank is a pain in the ass to get out of furniture
>Pinkie somehow squirms out of your grip and climbs to her favourite position on your back
>She's wrapped her back legs around your torso and is resting her head atop yours
>She calls it "Pinkie Back Rides" when she does this
>You're glad you've gotten fit here in Equestria, You'd never say it to her face but pinkies got some weight to her
>"Onwards my mighty monkey mount! We've got to play in the park with the ponies!"
>You laugh as you grab your keys and make your way out of the house, making sure to duck low so you don't bang her head on the doorframe

>>27258249
>Interestingly enough you get less strange looks than usual when Pinkie drags you into wacky shit
>It seems most Ponies in Ponyville just ignore her when she's up to shenanigans
>She's currently balanced standing up with all four hooves on your shoulders while you walk to the park
>She's honestly mostly on 3 hooves as she waves to most ponies who catch her eye as she passes
>You're tempted to shrug you shoulders to try and make her lose balance
>Pinkie's good, but she can't be that good
>You feel the Pink Menace's back hooves vibrate for a second before stopping
>"It's not gonna work."
"What?"
>"I said its not gonna work Nonny."
"I wasn' doin nuffin, no mam, not me. Imma good boy."
>"Suuure you are Anon."
>Pinkie sense is cheating

>You reach the park and see a lot of ponies there today
>Lot's of Mares and Stallions out with their foals, a few couples dotted around enjoying picnics
>It's all lovely sunny skies above, so you'll have to tease Rainbow Dash about actually doing work today
>As you walk through the park you spot Rarity coming along the path towards you
>You see her eyes look you up and down hungrily, before she meets your eyes and gives an almost charming smirk
>"Oh, hello there Anonymous! My, that's a more revealing ensemble than you usually wear. You're looking very handsome today, If I may say so myself."
>"Hiya Rarity!"
>"Oh yes, hi Pinkie."
>This is why you don't like Rarity
>You're told she's a very nice mare, and honestly you do believe it
>She's always been very helpful in getting you fitting and comfy clothes
>But fuck me does she get tunnel vision around dick

All right friends that's all for now, catchya later. Try not to shitpost too hard in the space between this post and the next writers green, it'll upset them and LaP will tell you to go to bed. Feel free to argue about how my depiction of rarity is shit instead.

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>>27258265
ok roofs, ur ok

>>27258249
yisssss

>>27258173

Continue

>>27258265
dindu nuffin

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>>27258265
>>But fuck me does she get tunnel vision around dick
kek

>>27258249
>>You had an incident with Purple Smart when you first got here and now you know that little horse stank is a pain in the ass to get out of furniture


>Ponies have scent glands that spray pheromones
>Mares use this to mark territory and to claim a mate
>When startled, a pony is known to spray his or her assailant in the hopes that it will buy them enough time to escape
>The scent takes a number of weeks to wash off, and the victim is advised to avoid contact with other ponies until they are sure the smell has been purged
>Failure to do so may result in assault ranging from aggressive social behaviour, to triggering an early and artificial estrus (or "heat")
>Approach at your own risk

>>27258249
>>27258265
Your ponk continues to deliver.

>>27258553
ew

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>>27257149

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>What do you mean Anon sleeps all by himself?
>He doesn't even have a pet to keep him company?!

So is Minotits dead or do we know if author plans to pick it back up?

>>27258831
I'd be a fucking awful bedmate. Always shifting, takes me a half hour to fall asleep, allergies.

It'd be better for both me and any potential sleeping partner if I just slept on my own.

I was going to suggest a story element where ponies had a real hard time seeing red like irl horses do, but I put a few images through a colour-blind simulator and not enough changed to really make Anon's superior human vision very special.

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>>27258892
No can do, m8.

No pony that calls herself a proper mare could let a poor stallion like you suffer through the night without any company.

>>27255348
>"Thanks for coming to church with me, Anon!"
"I didn't think you guys literally worshipped Celestia. Seems a little egotistical of her."
>"We don't worship Celestia, silly! We worship the Sacred Feminine! Celestia just serves as her figure head."
"How exactly is that different?"
>"Don't worry your silly colt mind about it, Anon. Ah, here we are!"
"This place is...why is everybody wearing masks?"
>"Will you help me with my strap-on? When your done, one of the altarfillies will lead you to the kneeling bench with the other stallions."

>>27259062
some of us are not made to be cuddled anonymous

>>27259129
le fetishposting

>>27259129
>Anon punches pone in the muzzle and walks out of the churge

>>27259129
>Anon joins a cult.

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>>27259130
I guess you'll have to be the cuddler, then.

>>27259129
"I'm not letting you fuck me in the ass in front of children, Twilight."
>"I didn't know you were an atheist, Anon."

>>27259129
I need more of this.

>>27259129
that's fucking gay

>>27258831
>>27259062
who is this guy

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>>27259313
That's __________me__________.
But if you want to know the artist's name, it's Captainpudgemuffin.

>>27259356
That's adorable, oh question for the Anons, if ScoutAnon had decided upon a rather...extreme final exam, how upset would the parents be?

>>27259496
Depends on if the child is a colt or filly. Some might be a little miffed if they find out their filly learned hardcore mare stuff from a stallion, but if the child is a colt, hell will be raised, especially by the fathers.

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Continued from: http://pastebin.com/z353QYvn

---------------------------------

"So, you wanna get off my head, Rainbow Dash?"
>"No."
>Hoh-kay.
>Discussion's over, you guess.
>But you aren't an extremely small horse, so in actuality you win all arguments you have with them by default.
>You easily lift Rainbow Dash off of your shoulders and hold her out at arm's length.
"First of all, don't do that."
>Rainbow Dash makes a scrunchie face and squirms in your grasp.
>"I only did it 'cause - 'cause Applejack doesn't know when to stop."
>You care surprisingly little about why she did her little display a minute ago.
"Rainbow, I don't know what beef you have with your friend, but find a place other than my head to stage your disagreement."
>"The WHAT I have?"
"Second of all, we have gems to harvest for Rarity, so we need to get back to work."
>You put the cyan mare back down on the ground and hand her her pony-sized pickaxe.
>"You sure you don't ne-want me to use the big one?"
>Oh, you, bird-horse.
"That's sweet of you, but the big one probably weighs as much as you do. C'mon; let's grab these gems so that we can get out of here."
>You glance over your shoulder at the crowd that had gathered.
"Ponies are still staring."

>Time passes quickly as you and Dash work together in silence.
"So, Dash, why are you helping me with these gems?"
>Rainbow Dash looks oddly affronted and flies a bit closer to your face.
>"Because you're my friend and you needed my help. Just what kind of question is THAT, little mister?"
>Whoops.
>It seems you've just questioned the Element of Loyalty's loyalty.
"N-no, I mean why did Rarity want you to go with me today? I was all by myself with the deposit on Applejack's farm."
>Rainbow Dash deflates a bit and smiles at you weakly.
>"Oh. Heh, sorry about that. I'm pretty sure you were all by yourself because SPIKE was supposed to be doing that gem thing instead of you."
>Oh.
>Well, that really just begs the question of why Rarity assigned you a minder.

>>27259496
>a rather...extreme final exam
Elaborate.
Guiding them all to the center of the Everfree, then telling them they have 24 hours to find a way out while carrying his fat ass all the way back because he 'broke his leg'?

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>>27259561
"Why does Rarity think I need a foal-sitter?"
>Rainbow Dash just rolls her eyes at you and starts going at it with that gem deposit.
>"Dude, c'mon. I know you're all tough and stuff, right? But Rarity's all big on that romance stuff and she nearly threw a FIT when she heard that it was just you and Mac harvesting those gems for her."
>What about the tiny, baby, adolescent dragon child?
"Isn't Spike a child?"
>Rainbow Dash scoffs and bats a hoof at you dismissively.
>"Well, YEAH; but he's a DRAGON, mare! That practically makes him one of the fillies, y'know?"
>You DON'T know, but sure.
>Poor Spike.
>You hope Twilight actually gave him those emerald-sprinkled cupcakes.
>.....
>Where did the Cakes get those emeralds from, anyway?

-------------------------------

"Well, Rainbow Dash," you groan, stretching and popping your back, "I think we're done here."
>Rainbow Dash lowers her front half and stretches out her back, looking for all the world that she was presenting herself to you.
>"I feel you, buddy."
>Why is everybody HITTING on you today?!
>"You gonna be alright out there?"
>You wave Rainbow Dash off and start walking to Rarity's boutique.
"I'll be fine. Now get out of here, you scrub."
>Rainbow Dash takes to the air and flies off.
>"See you, Anon! I'll be by tomorrow at the same time!"
>You've booped Rarity once; you can do it again.
>You heft the bag of what did she mean, "tomorrow at the same time"?
>What is this, your JOB now?
>At least it pays in
>uh
>Rape attempts.

>>27259496
Filly:
Father - [Angry horse noises]
Mother - [Horse noises close to "Get over it"]

Colt:
Both - [Enraged horse noises]

>>27259523
Well I kinda have a issue with that, I dont know if I should focus on a few main characters or try to treat it as Anon teaching the whole class.

The class is a mix of fillies and colts cuz Anon is equal rights like that

>>27259563
Close, its more like 'heres what you've learn, now use it to survive for a week bai'

>>27259590
Much Scrunching shall be had then got it.

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>>27259577
>DONG DING
>Rarity opens the door and she looks just AWFUL.
>She has bags under her eyes
>Her fur coat is is kind of gross off-white
>Her mane is out of place
>And you could smell her horse genitals from the moment her door opened.
>She reminds you so much of yourself when you were younger.
>"Who where?"
>Oh, god. Not again.
>Pony needs to get some sleep.
"Hey there, Rarity. Rainbow Dash and I got those gems from down by the clock-tower."
>You deposit your bulging sack onto the ground and make to leave.
"We cool?"
>Her voice startles you; you'd been hoping that she'd be too far out of it to protest your leaving.
>"Wait! Won't you come inside, Anonymous? My behaviour last night was unacceptable and I feel that I simply MUST apologise properly."
>That's bullshit, but you believe it.
>It all comes down to how she plans on apologising to you.
>You decide to proceed with caution.
"If you insist."
>Rarity beams at you and walks inside, tail lifted high and hiding NOTHING.
>"Oh, I do."
>The ride never ends.

>The two of you walk into a back room in silence.
>You pass by a sewing station surrounded by man-equines (mane-equines?) that are adorned with a chaotic jumble of half-finished outfits.
>Some of them even look like they'd had one style of clothing stitched directly onto a completely different onc, as though inspiration had struck Rarity mid-stroke.
>Gems litter the ground, and you can recognize some of the ones that you had fished out of the ground at Sweet Apple Acres.
>You'd honestly thought that a lot of what Rarity had wanted you to do for her was just bullshit, but you guess you were wrong.
>It seems like she had more going on than trying to get into your pants.
>Much like the different styles of clothing stitched together, you're starting to think that there's more going on with Rarity than just some ill-thought out attempts at seduction.

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>>27259622
>"Anonymous? Darling, would you please come here?"
>You arrive a door and find that you are alone.
>Had you been paying so little attention to Rarity that you managed to lose her?
"Coming!"
>The room you enter is less chaotic than the work room you just passed through, but it still feels very lived-in and cozy.
>By the looks of the soft (an remarkably unsophisticated) looking couches and cushions, you'd wager bits to biscuits that this is Rarity's personal relaxation room.
>It's easy to spot Rarity.
>Her bright coat stands out against the darker reds and purples that dominate the room and, more importantly, the couch she's currently laying on.
>"Could we cuddle, Anonymous? I do so hate how I attempted to force myself onto you, going so far as to disrobe you against your will."
>Rarity's shifting nervously and she looks anywhere but your eyes.
>Her speech seems to get more posh and upper-class the more she talks, and you begin to suspect that her entire hoity-toity attitude may be some kind of defence mechanisms she's using to cover up some kind of insecurity.
>Something to do with her parents?
>Her sister, Sweetie Belle, clearly doesn't share the same trouble, making you wonder if it might even just be the pressures of being the older sibling in their relationship.
>You stop mentally vomiting your pseudo-psychological bullshit when you realize that you've been ignoring Rarity.
>"Please, Anonymous? I need this, even if it just means a short reprieve. I assure you there will be no 'funny business' present, as the youth is known to say."
>What's the harm in a little bit of cuddling?
>You answer with a smile and walk over to her couch.

>>27259643
And that's all I got.

There we go; a bit of Rarity love. I might post some more of my dumb shit today if I can get some work done. I really hope that especially after that disaster of an update a few days ago, people are still interested in this green. Either way I hope y'all thought it was kind of alright.

>>27259643
>>27259681
I kinda feel like you were going left and right on what to do with Rarity, but to be honest green is green and i'll eanjoy my greens.

Though I would like to say that the size you have your ponies in is cute, though the size of fillies would be Tiny!

Did you have a end game here or was this something just sorta churned out I mean>/

>>27259748
I wanted at least SOME of the green to focus on her especially since I nuked what could have been a romantic dinner between the two of them and demoted her to cartoon villain.

>pony size
I won't be satisfied until Anon can fit a pony into his breast pocket.

>endgame
This fucking trainwreck of a story is going to be wrapped-up pretty soon. At this point I'm debating whether or not I should quit while I'm still ahead and just type out a 4-5 post ending, or if I should risk tying up some of the loose ends and give a scene to Rainbow Dash and Applejack first.

In all honesty, I'm having a lot of trouble keeping things interesting while writing shit from Anon's perspective. It's fun to write Anon reacting to ponies and their strange behaviour, but I've posted just about all the exasperated/amused "these fucking pones" that I can. O&O was pretty well-received and it was almost 100% nerd-pone perspective, and you could see all the sexism and spaghetti that was going through her mind.

Most of the writefriends who post in this thread (and those who jump around on the board) are much, MUCH better than I am. I have no idea how they can write stories for as long as they have and still make their work interesting.

If they're out there and they're listening, I'm open to advice.

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>>27259914
>>27259748
Tiny horses are the best horses.

>>27259914
Well I've found that you should do more ponies being sexist, you should try doing it full circle the way you started.

What i mean is Anon is the one you're getting the reaction from right? We empathize with that as how we would react, so why not do it from the ponies side. See how they react to Anon's crazy maledom idea that he has with the world. Then after you get done writing that you try going back to Anon.

Idea! Do a story through Pony POV with No Anon POV
Try that for a bit and come back with two gallons of vaseline

>>27259962
Also update on ScoutAnon

“Right. Now that we’ve covered the mental bits. It’s time to start with something somewhat fun!”
>Seeing the interested looks of the colts and fillies you stand up starting to walk towards White Tail Woods.
“Follow me troops it’s time to learn some fire making skills!”
>Sweetie Bell looks excited as she jumps into view, “Mister Anon! Mister Anon! I can make a fire, just give me a cartoon of juice and a glass!”
“Really now?”
>Scootaloo and Applebloom rush to her side clamping their hooves on the over excited unicorn, “Now Mista Anon ya don’t wanna let her do that, really it’s a bad idea all around!” Applebloom says with sweat building on her forehead.
>”Yeah, uh, why don’t you show us your way first?” Scootaloo asks, “I bet a colt can do it loads better anyway!”
“And what exactly does that mean lil’ bird horse?”
>With the eyes of the troop on her Scootaloo back tracks, “Uh, duh, I was just saying your the scout leader so you know what to do?”
>Chuckling you pet her on the head with an ear scratch.
“Nice save kid, now then let’s make some tracks I wanna get in the heart of the woods before too long!”
>Hearing cheers from the troopers makes your heart warm up with pride, it will be all the more fun to crush that cheer when the practical test comes around…

>>27259973
>Standing off of the beaten path and in the midst of the woods you clap your hands together.
“Now then fillies and colts, head count we all here?”
>Some shuffling and sorting later reveals that all are present and accounted for.
“Great! Now we’re going to be starting with one of the basic necessities that you will need for alot of your outdoor survival to do lists; the fire. Anyone aside from Sweetie Bell have any experiance with fire?”
>Snips raises his hoof in the air first waving it frantically, pointing at him he smiles saying, “It’s hot.”
“...and?”
>”OH! And it can spread really fast! Especially when you add magic to it!”
“Close enough to what I wanted to get to. Fire safety. Now fire can be helpful, but it’s a dangerous beastie so you have to treat it with respect.”
>Spreading your hands out as if to warm them you continue.
“Where you once thought there was something there to keep you dry and safe from any critters,”
>POP!
>The troopers flinch at the sudden noise.
“Can become a wild flame that will leave nothing but bones!”
>Dragging your foot in the forest floor you clear away enough for the dirt to revealed.
“First if you’re able to do it proper like, you can clear away a spot so the flames don’t catch on anything. After that, hey Pinchy right?”
>The ruby colored filly blinks at you before nodding.
“Bring over some of those rocks you're standing next to will ya?”
>The little filly soon kicks over the rocks and you begin to make a circle of them.
>”What’s the rocks for?” Rumble asks fluttering overhead to look.
>”It’s to make sure the fire don’t escape!” Applebloom answers before you watching with interest.
“That it is, now do you all know what types of wood you need to start a fire from scratch?”
>”But...why would we need to do that? Some of us can just use magic right?” Pinchy asks looking a bit lost at the circle of stones.

>>27259980
“That’s right, you can, but from what I remember a lot of ponies don’t branch out with their magic right?”
>Seeing Pinchy nod you smile at her to help cheer her up.
“Well this is also for those of us who don’t have the gift of magic, or just don’t plain know lil one.”
>”Oh…”
>Applebloom takes center stage again as she answers your question, “Well there’s oak, popular, maple trees, apple trees of course, a-”
“Now, now not what I meant.”
>”Well what do you mean?” Pipsqueak asks edging in.
“Well, you have tinder, kindling, sticks then logs. Each one you have to build up with your flame. It’s best if you have all your stuff ready to go before you start a fire. So in that case I want everyone to spread out from here, but keep the path nearby within eye sight. I don’t want to explain to your parents you got gobbled up by timber wolves.”
>”Those only live in the Everfree though!” Protests Sunny Daze looking around with a frightful look.
“You never know, but remember keep in sight. What you all are looking for are sticks about the thickness of pencil, for kindling small than that and for tinder really fine wood shavings, leaves anything that catches easy.”
>Hearing the small cheers of the fillies and colts you get a smile on your face before wandering around with the class to help them and observe.

>>27259577
>>What is this, your JOB now?
>>At least it pays in
>>uh
>>Rape attempts.
kek'd

>>27257178
I bet you're the Kurzefag who shits up threads.

>>27259990
>That’s odd…
>Most of the colts are just walking around chatting while the fillies continue to look for firewood.
>Coming up behind Rumble and Pipsqueak, you hear Rumble mutter, “-see why all the fillies are acting like he’s some model from play colt, he’s like three times his size!”
>Walking slower you catch Pipsqueaks response, “Well he does have an exotic look to him.”
>”Oh shut it, you just say that cuz you had Princess Luna eating out of your hoof that /one/ time.”
>”Hey, if you got strut it.”
>Stepping deliberately on a branch you watch as the two colts whirl about to look at you.
>”Oh! H-hi Mister Anon, lovely weather we’re having r-right Pipsqueak?” Rumble asks nudging his friend.
>”Yeah totally, uh, this is a pretty great hike and all!”
“Neat. So what have you two found so far?”
>”Uh…” Rumble looks around eyes dilated trying to bail before he dips down and bites a stick the length of your arm up, “Furewud?”
>He looks like a tiny dog with a stick the size of his body in his mouth.
>Holding your laughter in you reach out for the stick.
“Mm..this’d make for good wittlin’ wood, but first let’s break it down to size yeah?”
>Before the duo could respond you start to snap the branch into more manageable pieces.

>Be Rumble the slightly nauseated.
>Dear Celestia he’s just breaking those branches like it’s nothing!
>Your wings just ache thinking about what he’d do to your wings if he had them in his hands.
>Why is this mother bucker so huge?!
>You saw the way Lily was acting in his hoof spiders.
>Those dangly things were just all over her!
>It makes you so mad that this...big monkey just struts himself in those clothes all the time and draw attention from you and the boys!

>>27259934
I'd gladly read a story where Anon is the Gentle Giant of the Everfree.

>>27259962
That's a good idea, Comfy. Maybe I need to take a break from writing first, but whatever I write after that will probably be exclusively pone perspective.

Keep up the good work with the fillyscout anon, yeah?

>>27259992
Eyyy, I got a laugh. Totally worth it.

>>27260000
Damn dem quads.

>No, calm down Rumble.
>Remember what big bro Thunderlane said, “If they give ya a fit, you just gotta grit!”
>You think your brother has brain damage sometimes, might be all that hair spray he uses.
>Not like you, you use gel that stuff lasts forever!
>”-able, Rumble? Rumble you in there?”
“Uh, what? Yeah!”
>Anon the jerk, just stares at you before tucking the bundle of sticks he made under his arm, “Right. Well keep lookin guys, can’t let the girls show us guys up right?”
>Look at him acting like he’s one of the guys, he totally isn’t!
>Pipsqueak answers quickly enough, “Yep! More firewood and stuff!’

>Be Anon once more, and you might have given unclear directions.
>Sorting through the piles of wood before you, you start to pick out some of the slender twigs.
>”Did we get enough?” Silver Spoon asks, “Carrying those nasty logs was tiring!”
>”Oh mare up Silver Spoon, a little work never harm no pony.” Applebloom answers quick as a whip.
>Sensing a fight brewing you answer them both.
“I’ve got plenty of wood girls, thank you.”
>Not noticing the blush run through the fillies in the class you continue pulling out a knife.
>Hearing a gasp you turn to see Truffle Shuffle staring at your knife, “You have a knife? I thought stallions weren’t allowed them!”
>Fatponysaywhat?
“Why wouldn’t I? You need it for so much stuff out here.”
>”But Anon, Rarity says that mares should be the one whose handles the knives! Colts could get hurt!”

>>27260010
>...
>Fuck this gay Equestria.
>Sinking your blade back into the sheath you take a seat in the dirt and pat your lap.
“Alright everyone gather round this is going to be a long chat, I can tell.”
>Soon enough the troop is assembled before you and in some cases against you as you eye Scootaloo and Sunny Daze.
>Shrugging you take a deep breath.
“Right, let me tell you something fillies and colts, the idea that a stallion or a guy of the male gender is unable to do anything by himself is rather silly.”
>Holding up a hand at the many mouths that start to argue you plow on.
“To begin with, the idea that a stallion can’t use a knife is baffling, how many of your dad’s all work in the kitchen or cook for the family? Raise your hooves now.””
>Seeing a majority of the hooves in the air you nod.
“Right how are they going to cook if they can’t use the knives to prepare the food?”
>Quite a few fillies and colts look baffled by this, until one of the fillies Peachy Pie speaks up, “They have to use knives don’t they?”
>Finally progress!
“That’s right, what society wants and what actually happens my little troopers are usually two different things, now I will be straight with you. I am going to teach you, I am going to push you hard, I am going to make you the best you can be, but only. Only if you let me.”
>Smiling at the mini ponies you spread your hands wide.
“So, what’ll it’ll be?”
>For a few long moments you think some of them are going to just leave, but then, “Yeah! I’m tired of being told to give up my video games because they aren’t stallion enough! I say we do it!”
>Like a flame, the feeling of agreement spreads.
>”This is kinda exciting.”
>”I wanna build a fire!”
>Hearing the small crowd get excited you feel your heart soar, this is why you wanted to start a scout troop.
>If you want society to change, you have to change it by the roots.
>What better way than through the youth?

>>27260018
Aaaand done for now, I think I did better with the comma and period thing for shorter sentances. Hope it reads a bit better than before. Thoughts on it so far Anons?

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>>27260018
>Anon's face when.

>>27260025
Your writing is better, Comfy, but there's always room for improvement. Keep it up.

>>27259997
>Kurzefag
huh?

"Anon! ANON! You bucker! Open this door right now!"
>You are Caramel
>For the past two and a half hours you had been trying to get out of Anon's bathroom
>You had tried screaming, you had thrown things and you had even tried kicking the door but you were getting nowhere
>Stupid Anon and his love for well-made doors...
>For a while the fellas had been helping you in getting the door open, but, after an hour or so, they had given up
>Time Turner was rooting around in Anon's cabinets hoing and hawing about the color of his towels, Mr. Cake was laying in Anon's bathtub napping and Thunderlane and Spark Plug were watching you furiously bucking the door as they ate crackers
>A real good team you had here
"ANON! I swear to Celestia when I bucking get out of here I'm going to beat the horse apples out of you!" you roared, rearing back and bucking with all of your might
>Though there was a satisfying thumping sound as your hooves hit the door it barely moved
>Just like the last hundred times you kicked it
>Groaning, you let your tired, sweaty body hit the floor with a groan
"I can't believe that that bucking stallion just LOCKED us in here," you muttered
>Spark Plug and Thunderlane exchanged glances
>"Huh... you were right, Sparky," Thunderlane said, whipping out a small bag of bits and hoofing it to Spark Plug. "I thought that he was gonna give up ten minutes in but he really did keep going and going..."
>Spark Plug smiled as he stuffed some more crackers into his mouth
>...
>Did...
>Did those colts place a bet on you?
>...
>Mr. Cake lifted his head up to look at you
>"Are you finally done throwing a hissy-fit, hon?" he asked, yawning as he rubbed an eye
"I am NOT throwing a hissy-fit," you snapped, sounding a bit harsher than you meant to be. "I'm just trying to get us out of here!"
>Time Turner poked his head out of Anon's towel cabinet, a disgusted look on his face
>Not that you could blame him
>Even from here you could see how AWFUL Anon's towel selection was

>>27260129
>Didn't the colt know that you were NEVER supposed to buy salmon-colored towels without getting some smaller deep red hand towels to accent them?
>The pleb
>"Anon was right, Caram--Oh Celestia, why would you just have ONE purple towel?! He REALLY couldn't go and get another?!"
>Snorting, Time Turner closed the cabinet and turned toward you
>"Anon was right; we should just stay here and wait for this to blow over."
>"I'm sure that Pinkie and the other girls are solving the problem as we speak," Mr. Cake added. "So why don't you--"
"Anon's out there right now with those mares who are probably doing heaven knows what with him!" you snapped, staring hard at your friends. "Those queens could be tearing him apart as we speak!"
>Your eyes narrowed as you stared at each and everyone of them
"Now I know that Anon is a bit of a bucker, and every once in a while I'd like to smack him over the head--more than once in a while; like all the time really-- but us stallions need to stick together! We need to help each other out and be there for each other!"
>You noticed that nopony in the room could look you in the eyes
>Good
>They had every right to be ashamed of themselves for just giving up
>You could be out there helping Anon RIGHT NOW!
>You could be the heroes!
>You could go and show all of those mares that thought stallions were nothing more than breeding, cooking machines that you could go out and do something!
>You could--
>...
>...
>...
>You took a step toward Anon's bathroom shower, then another, then another, your eyes glued on the window that you just noticed
>You could feel the fellas eyes on you as you stepped over Mr. Cake, opened up the window, which all of you could clearly fit through, and turned back toward them, your face a grim mask
>You could see their eyes widen in surprise as they too suddenly noticed A BUCKING WINDOW THAT YOU COULD HAVE USED TO GET OUT OF THIS BUCKING BATHROOM ANY TIME THAT YOU BUCKING WANTED!

>>27260152
>...
>A bemused snort left Mr. Cake's mouth
>You just closed your eyes and pinched the bridge of your nose
"I'm... I'm going to go out there and try to help, Anon," you slowly said. "You all can stay in here if you want to but I'm going out."
>Thank Celestia that there was nopony else here to see just how STUPID you all are...
>You looked back toward the window, your muzzle scrunching up in thought
"But first I need to get into Anon's bedroom..."

>Be Anon
>Or the naked, sweaty mess formally known as Anon
>The queens and princesses alike were staring at you as you laid on the ground looking up at the sky
>Some of them were looking at you in concern, others were giggling and others still were eyeing your junk with intent
>You needed to get some sleep after this
>You needed to take a bath, get something to eat and you needed to go to sleep and not wake up for a LONG while
>...
>Sweet Christ above were you going to be sore...
>But hey, it looked like you saved the day
>No elements were needed, the town wasn't destroyed, no one was trying to destroy each other and you got laid many, many times by some VERY beautiful ponies
>Like g-ma Anonymous would have wanted
>All-in-all it was a pretty good day, the exhaustion not withstanding
>"Anon... Do you need any help?" Twilight offered, stepping out from the line of royals. "You look like you need some help..."
>Aw
>This nice little gentlemarely horse, helping people and shit
"I could use some help sitting up it you don't mind," you said, doing your best to look at her. "I kinda... CAN'T at the moment."
>The princesses and Chrysalis looked over at Nightmare suspiciously
>"Just what DID you do to him?" Celestia questioned, though it was more quizzical than demanding
>Nightmare grinned
>"Oh, all I did was open Anonymous's mind up to some new possibilities" she said, blowing you a kiss. "Nothing too harmful."

>>27260164
>Yeah fucking right
>It was going to be DAYS until you could walk right...
>Twilight's horn glowed, her magic encasing you and gently pulling you into a sitting position
"Thanks, Twilight," you said with a smile, before turning your attention to the other demi-gods. "Now, since I've gone and inspected you all I guess it's time that I went and named a--"
>"ANON!"
>Before you could turn your head to see who was screaming at you a pillow clocked you right in the jaw
>Your pillow to be exact
>While you would usually just brush something like a pillow hitting you in the face off like it was nothing--because it was just a pillow--you were in pretty poor shape
>So, instead of giggling or making the joke that whoever tossed the pillow at you threw like a girl, you flopped to the ground with a pained grunt
>...
>Ow...
>You were about to lift your head up when motherfucking Caramel jumped onto yourkjsebfksjdbcskjdb!
>The air escaped your lungs as your little pone friend landed on your chest, a look of pure rage on his face
>"ANON! YOU MOTHERBUCKER!"
>Before you could regain your senses, Caramel began smacking your around with the pillow in his hooves
>Another one of your pillows, you couldn't help but notice
>"What. The. Buck. Is. Wrong. With. You?" he demanded, punctuating each word with a mighty swing of his feather-stuffed weapon
>You tried to cover yourself with your arms to protect yourself from the unrelenting assault but Caramel was determined
>Snarling, he smacked your hooves away before laying into your bread and butter
>"You. Make. That. Bucking. Speech. And. The. You. Just. Leave. Us?! What. The. Buck. Is. Wrong. With. Yo--eep!"
>A yelp escaped Caramel's throat as he was lifted bodily into the air
>"Caramel, hon. We're supposed to be SAVING Anon, not beating him to death."

>>27260209
>>Snarling, he smacked your hooves away before laying into your bread and butter

>Your hooves
>hooves

>>27260209
caramel a shit

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>>27260209
>...
>Ow...
>Pillows were surprisingly painful...
>Against your better judgement, you looked up
>Your other little horse friends were standing not five feet away from you
>Mr. Cake was holding a piece of broken broom stick, Thunderlane had one of your chairs, Spark Plug was--
>...
>Wait...
>THAT'S ALL OF YOUR SHIT!
>AND WAS TIME TURNER HOLDING YOUR BATHROOM DOOR?!
>DID THAT LITTLE HORSE BREAK YOUR DOOR DOWN?
>IF HE DID HE WAS PAYING TO GET THAT REPLACED!
>Mr. Cake smiled at your bewildered expression
>"Don't you worry, Anon honey, we're here to..."
>He paused, a frown coming to his face as he looked over at the royals, all of whom looked just as confused as you
>Confusion colored his features as he looked from them to you and back to them
>"...Save you?"
>Caramel, who appeared to be foaming at the mouth as he wildly kicked in the air, tossed the pillow that he was holding at you
>"TIME TURNER! TIME TURNER YOU PUT ME DOWN RIGHT NOW SO I CAN BEAT THE STUFFING OUT OF THIS BUCKING STUPID STALLION!"
>...
>Aw...
>He was worried about you...
"Chrysalis," you called, staring up at the sky once more. "You won. Out of all of the alicorns you have the best butt."
>Chrysalis blinked slowly as she milled over your words
>Though you didn't see it, the Changeling's eyes lit up and she let out a delighted squeal, hopping around in excitement
>Mr. Cake and the other stallions nearly tripped over themselves getting away as the Queen of the Changelings ran over and pulled you into a hug, her wings happily buzzing as she nuzzled your face

>>27260229
We transformation thread up in here.

>>27260237
>Aw...
>Also OWOWOWOWOWOWOWO!
>The other royals let out disappointed groans
>"Oh, I could have sworn that I had it in the bag," Luna muttered, kicking at the dirt
>Though she looked disappointed, Celestia smiled
>"Congratulations, Chrysalis," she said
>"Yeah, Congratulations, Chrysalis. I'm happy for you," Twilight added, smiling as well
>Through the giggles and bug kisses you managed to see the boyz looking around in confusion
>Even Caramel looked like he had more than a few questions
>With a weak chuckle, you gave them a thumbs up
"Don't worry about anything guys, I managed to keep all of these silly horses from killing each other."
>"...How did you?..."
"With the power of butts of course."
>That seemed to set Caramel off once more, the stallion letting out an enraged growl as he started...
>Wait a tick...
"Hey, you grabbed those stretchy pants that I owed you before coming here," you said, finally noticing your friend's attire
>"YES. YES I DID!"
"You got the socks too."
>"I'M GOING TO SMOTHER YOU WITH YOUR PILLOWS, ANON!"
"The pants look good on you, and so do the socks, buddy."
>Caramel stopped his struggling
>He looked at you hard; like really, really, REALLY hard
>"...Thank you," he mumbled, sounding angry
>Your smile widened just a hair as you let your head flop back onto the ground
>The other royals were making their way toward you, Luna and Celestia and Cadence talking about Changeling peace meetings
>Twilight was standing next to her old teacher, her head held high and her chest puffed out
>Behind all of them Nightmare was staring at you, a toothy smile on her face
>You closed your eyes, Chrysalis still peppering your face with kisses, humming as Time Turner let Caramel down and the stallions began to make their way toward you
>Yep...
>This has been a good ASS day...

>>27260237
That delivery on Chryssy was a bit weak, but meh. I can't complain.

>>27260278
The WHOLE ending was a bit weak. I expected world war pone.

LAP
ITS LAP

>>27260237
>Stallions fail to notice a big horse-sized window in a tiny room they were locked in for an hour
>Stallions break Anon's belongings to use as weapons that they never use
>Stallions ignore threat and immediately assault the person they were convinced was in peril
>Stallions flee as soon as a perceived threat approaches

colts are fucking useless.

>>27260275
AND THEY ALL LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER

Alright, with a total of 43 votes Chrysalis managed to beat out Celestia to be the best-butted queen. Since I had no idea how to end this I guess I kind of half-assed it. Sorry about that.

I'm also sorry that I was a fucking putz and forgot to put Candy Cane in the poll. Though I'm guessing she wouldn't have gotten all that many votes I still should have put her in there. Sorry Cadencefags.

So, thanks for reading, sorry about the shitty ending, and something something something go to bed.

>>27260329
>I guess I kind of half-assed it
oh you, LaP.

>>27260018
HAPPENING

>>27260329
I thought Cadenza was the Other.
Unless that was Discord somehow stealing the butt-victory.

>>27260329
>Alright, with a total of 43 votes Chrysalis managed to beat out Celestia to be the best-butted queen
wat da fug
im not buying it

celestia was in a clear lead by like 20 votes last time

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>>27260237
>"Chrysalis," you called, staring up at the sky once more. "You won. Out of all of the alicorns you have the best butt."
...That's it?

>>27260359
Go check the poll, Anon

>>27260359
It's been a couple days. Luna's votes doubled, and Twilight and Lovebutt gained ten a piece.

>>27260018
Pastebin?

>>27260375
Do you happen to have a link to said poll?

>>27260414
http://www.strawpoll.me/10101498

>>27260424
Where on earth did all the Chrysalis votes even come from? The bug threads are almost always dead.

>>27260437
>169 votes.
We don't even get that many posters every thread.
Plus you can just vote several times on Strawpoll by resetting your IP.

so hey, board's pretty dead today. what gives?

>>27260456
>125 posts today
>pretty dead

>>27260530
>board
>thread

>>27260448
Psst, hey Anon. Guess what? Some people don't post on the threads and just read them.

>>27260565
Some people also post from both their PC and phone.

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>>27257168
>>27257491
What about Horsebutt Shimmer.

>>27260329
Thanks LaP, that was a top-tier green. The end was somehow rushed, but I really don't mind, it was good. Btw, I was sure Celestia would have been the winner. I voted for her, and she had like 75% of the total votes last time I checked. Wtf, did someone rig the poll?

>>27260620
Here's a story idea that covers both.
Horsebutt sunset hangs out with Anon, friends and all that, but she wants the D. Thing is, anon isn't over the species barrier yet.
She decides to go study the mirror and its magics so she can turn herself into her EQG form without being in that world.
She spends months studying in reclusion, and in this time, Anon gets over it and gets a pony GF.
Sunset figures out a spell, turns herself human and finds Anon with a mare.
Competition/herding/whatever happens.

>>27260695
Can Equestria Girls get into herds or do they get human jealous?

>>27260713
Sunset is an rgre pone by natuere, so...

>>27260695
This would be great, I'd read it.

>>27260565
>169 people browsing this thread
nah

>>27260713
>>27260738
>RGRE Sunset decides to expand the herd
>Doesn't see fit to inform her boyfriend
>He walks in on Sunset banging EQG!Twilight with a strap-on
>The sheer amount of conflicting emotions causes a stroke
>He spends the rest of his life in a wheelchair
>Sunset laughs at him for being a drama king

>>27260329
Half-assed ending or not, you gave us a lot of asses and an enjoyable story up to the end. Would definitely not mind if there was an epilogue of what happened after the competition (Did Time Turner ever get that date with Redheart? Does Caramel ever muster up the courage to chat up Derpy again? Does NMM tag team Anon with Celestia or Luna?)

how would RGRE society deal with a suicidal anon? I'm only asking because suicide is a popular method for getting Anon into Equestria, but the suicide itself isn't often used as an active plot element.

>>27261463
Suicide to get into Equestria has yet to happen as far as I can remember in RGRE.

>>27261463
>how would RGRE society deal with a suicidal anon?
Magic of Friendship, biatch.

There was that tiny prompt where Anon wasn't the first Anon to come to Equestria, and where he finds out the first one apparently killed himself.

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>Queen Chrysalis wins the competition

>>27261013
>169 people browsing this thread
>169
>nah
Conspiracy? Let’s investigate.

>169
1+6+9 = 16

>Reverse Gender Roles Equestria
27 letters

>Love and Powerlifting is commonly abbreviated LaP
>LaP
3 letters

>Queen Chrysalis
5+9=14

But wait, you ask, didn’t the changelings fail their invasion of Canterlot? How could they manage to rig the poll. You’re correct. There’s no way they could have done this.

Who is skilled enough to pull this off? Who pulls the strings?

>Illuminati
10 letters

>Illuminati Queen in Reverse Gender Roles Equestria wins
10+5+2+27+4=48

So then, we finally see the pattern. . .

>48 / 16 = 3
Illuminati Queen in Reverse Gender Roles Equestria wins over a false flag = LaP

So now you see. . . your precious Love and Powerlifting is a tool of the secret ruling cabal used to divide us.

>>27261463
>Anon an hero's and wakes up in Equestria
>Lives a new life realizing that he's been given a wonderful gift
>Eventually makes friends with a mare
>Mare is depressed; tries to kill herself
>Anon stops her and angrily yells that she won't get a second chance like he did
>It's the first time he's ever told anyone how he came to Equestria

>>27261498
That "I didn't know he was sad" guy right

>>27261555
>The mare thinks he's just insane like how every townspony said and does it anyways

>>27261547
Go do your squats, son

>>27261613
I don't know how to do squats. I always feel like I'm doing them wrong.

>>27261639
This will probably help:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dy28eq2PjcM

If it doesn't start going to the gym with an experienced lifting bro. They'll help you out

>>27261555
>That "I didn't know he was sad" guy right
Yeah, the one where Pinkie takes Anon to OtherAnon's hill memorial and the one everyone was saying OtherAnon simply left for the Everfree without telling anyone.

>>27261639
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nEQQle9-0NA

>>27261651
That guy needs to speak normally.

Also
>regiment

>>27261681
Yeah, I wasn't sure if he was instructing me, getting ready to rape me, or trying to phonesex me.

>>27260000
>those quads

this green is blessed.

>>27260329
aww come LaP give us a epilogue!

please?

>>27261681
>>27261759
Go to bed

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>>27261547

Stealing the idea from the Feels thread:

>Anon doesn't kill himself to get to Equestria; his waifu brought him there
>Of all the infinite universes out there, there existed one where <ponywaifu> knew about him and loved him just as much as he loved her

it sort of also fulfils that one faggots request for soulmates too.

>>27262088
>>Anon doesn't kill himself to get to Equestria; his waifu brought him there

>Anon hates her.
>She ripped him away from everything he'd ever known.
>His friends and family will never know what happened to him...they never even got to say goodbye.
>Pony waifu tries to make it up to him.
>Anon refuses to speak to or even look at her.
>Pony waifu's heart breaks into a million pieces.
>Pony waifu sits there feeling dead inside as she watch's Anon being comforted by another mare.

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>>27262088
aww
theyd deserve to be happy

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>>27262163

>>27262163
Been done.

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>>27262163
ANON STOP!

>>27262163
Man, he'd probably have some fucked up revenge dreams. Luna be like "nope."

>>27262163
>>27262179
>Been done.
>http://pastebin.com/u/twilight_game_night
Read the following in order:
Twilight Game Night
Anon Game Night
Celestia Game Night

>>27262163
>Shoe me on the doll where the bad feels touched you, Anon

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>>27262088
Are you suggesting that RGR Equestria waifu-pony's ideal husbando is a Non-RGR Earth human?
Because I know the name of that Fetish.

M A L E D O M

>>27262258
oh my

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>>27262258
>tfw you will never dom your little pone
>or slightly larger but still little princess

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>>27262163
>his waifu brought him there
>his waifu
>waifu
If Anon has a waifu, then he isn't leaving shit behind.
Dropped like the sack of shit it would turn out to be

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>>27259980
>“Can become a wild flame that will leave nothing but bones!”

Protip: forest fires CAN destroy the bones as well. It's just not as common because just as rocks the bones are sturdy. It requires the fire or heat to be at a decent (but not needed to be focused) heat for a little longer then 3-7 hours.

In fact in case of large forest fires (or bodies in trunks) it's to be expected.

> What you all are looking for are sticks about the thickness of pencil

DESU I was taught that was the stick size. Kindling is the fine stuff that is even thinner because dry grass and shit is what is mostly used. "If bigger then your thumb then you got a log dumb dumb."

>>27260018
>We waz gender rights and shit.
I'm not a personal fan of deviating from cultural norms despite preferring personal choice over culture needs despite how those cultural norms where and are there for a reason that I will not want to bring in for /pol/ reasons. I look forward to see how you tread that line despite anon treading the marely line already trying to implant those ideas into colts.

>The mares faces when the stories get told back home of the trip.

Same anon from last thread BTW.

>>27262028
Yeah, what does Anon do afterward? Does he make the ultimate butt herd out of Celestia, Luna, Chrysalis, Nightmare, and Twilight?

The power of butts already seems to have done wonders for changeling/pony relations, what miracles can Anon's dick perform?

>>27262805
Calm thyself. Cartoon physics. Anon is teaching them survival in cartoon land. Wood is burny-er. Fire is magic. Kindling is . . . they have a different word for it there. Peace, and be calm my man.

>>27262805
Not to mention that if you've got a log and a knife, you can make all the tinder/kindling you need.

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>>27262405
>You will never claim the Sun, the Moon or the stars above as your own.
Why even live.

>>27262822

I am not mad my friend. I merely wish to help if he wants it. If he told me not to I would stop. I am zen watching 3 men and a woman getting drunk playing DS3

>>27262824

>This man gets it... Or has logic.

A prompt: Anon falls in love with a background wafiu or herd that take him to the frontier to start a new life and senpai. Que a nice story of the new family getting used to living in the middle of nowhere with little outside contact enjoying mild conflict of their own.

Also I voted sunbutt. Shame to see she lost the war despite me thinking she won the battle.

WHITE HORSE PRIDE!

>>27260695
she however, never figured out how to make her genitals human.

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>>27262944
why have you wasted those dubs.

>>27262970
i think it was a good use of dubs

>>27262980
>make her genitals human
how is this a good use of dubs?

>>27262944
derpiboo.ru/1074056?scope=scpe368bd3ebb74b6fc781e2247f6858c3d213e7e8d7

>>27262917
>A prompt: Anon falls in love with a background wafiu or herd that take him to the frontier to start a new life and senpai. Que a nice story of the new family getting used to living in the middle of nowhere with little outside contact enjoying mild conflict of their own.
Little Herd on the Prairie.

>Anon lives in a frontier town, running the saloon/inn. Keeps the workin' stallions safe from rough mares.

>>27262988
She never figured out how to.
Horse pussy, human body.

>>27262988
the whole never figured out part really

>>27262995
exactly.

>>27263003
just the thought of human genitalia makes me shiver in desgust.

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>>27263003
>>27263013
man
pillowy mammaries and horsepuss
she got the competition beat easily

>>27263003
>>27263021
Would she share the spell with the rest of the mares when she ensures her place as Top Horse?

>>27263021
>ponk loves tiddies
She really is best erf pone

>>27262995

So conflicted. To want or not to want? That is the question.

>>27262998

>You lean on the counter as the mare with a silver pie tin at her side moving with her twitching hoof.
"I'ma warn yah right now. You have A pie. I have three pies, whistle, and a baseball bat. You get to choose if you leave here good, bad, or ugly."
>Her hoof dances on the pie tin circling the whipped cream as the terrified colt near her whimpers. "I'd rather leave wet."
>Anon just can't help but think he didn't leave being a profession horse breeder back home to be breeding horses with his dick.

>>27263036
I'd say it might not work on other pones since it's specifically tailored for her.
All up to the writer though, and they better make sure it stays RGRE.

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>>27262995

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>>27263080
Pinkie LOVES tiddies. Mainly because their soft and comfortable and she has fun bapping them and bouncing them around

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>>27263021
>>27263080
>>27263120
Sunset would have to watch herself around Pinkie.

Despite the fact that a good few ponies (including a very ill-disguised Celestia) are trying to woo him, Anon shacks up with the most unexpected mare.

The mares try to, and fail to, understand and grapple with their jealousy, and make plans to pull him away from her by being romantic, etcetera. (Which suck comically, as they're a bunch of sexist bitches).

Anon is happy with his 'eccentric' mare because their roles are more traditional human-like in a RGR world.

>>27263154
That mare is Shining Armor.

>>27263189
>Shining Armor is an exemplary mare
>Leader of the royal guard
>Married to royalty
>Fought off a changeling invasion using her massive marely magical might and a clever adaptation to a standard bubble shield spell
>Saves children from evil by throwing alicorns like darts
>She's the sort of gal that you go "Damn, i wish i was her" when you pass her in the street
>Never mind the penis, it's probably some kind of lingering spell effect from a magic battle
>You'd let her rut you anyday, no homo

>>27260329
this honestly demands an epilouge, possibly a where are they now style few years down the road

while i would prefer an alicorn herd, do whatever you want

>>27261475
there was a joke seriese where the way between worlds was suicide, and twilight offs herself in front of celestia to go to human land... anyone remember it?

>>27262088
on the sole mate topic... anyone know the story where anon was wished to equestria by twilight on a shooting star?

>>27263544
Fuck I wanna go find that one again, cause I do remember it.

Casually out-datedly sexist Celestia? Casually out-datedly sexist Celestia.

>Be Twilight
>Be Anon's marefriend
>Be in Canterlot on official horsewizard business
>Be---ring Anon along because you've seen how that bucking herdwrecker, Lyra, has been eyeing him up
>Be having dinner with Princess Celestia because you and she are cool like that

>Celestia greets you with a neck-rub-hug and a warm smile.
>"Ah! Hello, my most faithful student! How was the train ride?"
"It was fine, Princess. Thank you for seeing me."
>Celestia laughs in that marely, maternal way that reminds you of times gone by when your grandmother would take you out into the woods to chop firewood.
>You still have her flannel shirt and wood-cutting tools in a box in the library.
>"Twilight, you don't need to-oh! Oh, is this your consort?"
>Is who your what?
>Her voice shifts from warm to contemptuous dismissal so quickly that it left your head spinning.
>Anon places a hand on your withers and you struggle to repress a shiver.
>"Very well. The stallion's table is over in the side room; you may leave."
>ExCUSE you?
"P-princess? He's supposed to eat with us; I personally invited him. Your letter said that I could."
>Celestia waves a dismissive hoof and pointedly refuses to acknowledge your coltfriend any further.
>"I expected you to bring one of your friends, Twilight. Had I known your broodcolt was coming along, I might have arranged for some servant-colts to keep his waning attention occupied with gossip."

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>>27263709
Pls.

PLS.

>>27263709
>Anon finds the whole thing amusing as hell. Celestia is the old racist grandma for all of Equestria.

>>27263709
>>27263735
I mean, yeah, I'd find it amusing as fuck too were I on the receiving end of this.

But it's pretty ooc for Celestia.

>>27263709
>>27263747
If you're going to do a casually sexist, old fashioned Celestia, then you'd have to write her as benevolently sexist.

>>27263747
>>27263735
Would make much more sense if it where Luna, but it wouldn't be as amusing, and it has already been done with her.

>>27263620
http://mulpwiki.org/index.php/Dreamy_Stars

>>27263735
its like when grandma says some racist shit at the dinner table.

half of them yet no one really wants to call her out, while the other half want to lead her down the path of saying something even worse.

that said, i prefer this the opposite way with a long involved headcanon, twilight is the semi spoiled upper class girl and celestia fought for decades if not centuries to get colts rights back when they somehow got taken away during a time she wasn't paying full attention.

>>27263814
That was nice. Short, but nice.

>>27263709
>>"Sister! Faust alive, Sister, thou cantst just go about saying such things!"
>Princess Celestia rolls her eyes as Princess Luna, who had just entered the room, looks at your coltfriend in a mixture of apologetic and panic.
>"Luna, times have change and so must you. I know that you are.... somewhat behind on how things work..."
>Your mentor had the decency to look ashamed.
>"But the fact of the matter is that stallions simply are not as capable as mares."
>>"Anonymous, we art SO sorry for all of this."
>Anonymous is too busy trying not to laugh at the elder Princess to pay much attention to Luna.
>"For all the time I've spent around our subjects, I've noticed time and time again that it is the colts who perform worse than the mares."
>>"Anonymous, we had no idea that Sister wouldst act as such."
>"Most of the skills implied by their cutie marks can actually be applied to household charms and sexually pleasing their mares."
>>"Oh my Faust, thy did NOT just sayeth that, Sister!"
>Luna looks like she's about to have a panic attack.
>>"Twilight, please show thy lover to thine rooms. We need to talketh to our Sister for a moment."
>Luna magically shoves you out into the hallway.
>The last thing you hear before the doors slam shut behind you is Celestia complaining about zebras bringing down the property value in their neighbourhoods.
>You make it three steps before both you and Anon burst out laughing.

>>27263779
luna was a tomboy back then, when the gender roles were reverse reversed, and she hated all that girly crap she had to do for appearances, was part of the reason for nightmare moon, celestia didn't notice how much she hated it on top of everything else she ignored.

Now, luna is fucking ecstatic over not needing to be kempt and proper, but mourns the loss of stallions who will take the lead in bed.

Meanwhile celestia loves the girly shit, but can no longer do it for appearance sake.

>>27263899
You're only saying that so they both get the hots for Anon and start pressuring Twilight into letting them fuck her first colt-friend who she had to spill all of her spaghetti in front of before being able to win his heart

>>27263889
im in fucking tears, god damnit

you have to do the diner with anon cel luna and twi, with luna on edge over potential racist shit, celestia being unknowingly the comedic value, anon egging her on, and twilight the only one who is not actively stirring the shit who knows all the players roles.

>>27263928
actually it was a story idea a while back of mine, celestia was out of the loop for so long that she only knew what happened when all her guards had no males.

in pops anon, after probably a few centuries of her trying to get stallions their rights back so the mares are at least not patronizing cunts to them openly. anon is normal human male, and celestia sees this despite every other mare just seeing another faggy acting colt.

anon cant do what he loves due to it being for mares, and celestia cant due to public eye, so they make a deal, she gets "dragged" into anons shopping trips and other shit, and anon gets brought to the d&d/sports equivalent shit by celestia.

no one questions him being there because of who brought him, and no one suspects a thing from celestia because why wouldn't she be the best marefriend she can be.

really they would just be friends unless someone wanted to take it further, and luna, still holding a grudge, was not helping celestia at all her her problems. see way back when it was seen as old fashioned for a mare to do stallion shit, but some time down the road everyone forgot the way shit use to be, so it just became weird as hell.

luna only perks up a bit when she finds out anon is a mare is a stallions body.

>>27263889
>>27263709
What if colts actually ARE inferior to mares?
Anon just happens to be male without being a colt.
Cue ponies being all confused and amazed by the strange alien.
Whose captain they want to Kirk.

>>27262243
god damnit i love it when ponies pick up on anons swearing and use it correctly.

>>27264071
>What if colts actually ARE inferior to mares?
Golden. Standard.

>>27264119
>Anon questions standards
>Encourages (read: nags) Twilight to do some actual scientific research
>Colts were inferior to mares all along
>Stallionism crumbles
>New golden age rises from the ashes
>Anon would have been seen as a hero for instigating the change if not not for history shifting all the credit to Twilight

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>Anon impresses Twilight with mundane human technology
>Twilight is convinced that he is a wizard
>Twilight is outraged that somepony wasted her time teaching a colt the mystic arts
>Tries to keep an eye open for any more demonstrations of Anon's "magic" and tries to publicly denounce him

see pic

>>27264211
that kind of behavior literally deserves a solid dropkick to the ovaries

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>>27264211

>>27264258
Don't you fucking start.

>>27264211
>>27264239
"Hmm? This? It's a zippo. Here, *FLICK* see? It-"
>Twilight bursts out from the bushes, a crazed look in her eye
>"You see?! Look at it! Such a large and cavernous magical vessel and yet the flame is small like a limp cock!"
>The stalking doesn't bother you at this point. You just wish that Twilight would stop making comparisons to vaginas and penises.

>>27264239
That's putting it lightly.
She should be trying to learn how he's doing the shit he does, not stopping him.
Knowledge is fucking valuable regardless of where you get it from.

>>27264258
And then the talent agent says, "that's a pretty good show, what do you call that act?"

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>>27264276
>>27264239
Besides being OOC.

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>>27264276
>anon is like any average anon
>only knows that it works, but not the how
>"how does this mei-krow-ave work anon?"
>Anon suddenly seems dumb as shit for not being able to explain the workings of a common item of his own world

>>27264303
>doesn't know how a microwave works
He is dumb as shit.

>>27264303
Typical colt. He just wanted to look smart for the mare-folk. If he was trying to get out of dinner duty again with his talk of magic instant-cook radiation boxes, then his waifu is going to beat him SO HARD; you don't even know.

>>27264303
If he is able of putting it together he can explain how it works.

And that's what this thread is for:
>>27083295

>>27264303
>Doesn't know how it works, only how to make it work
It's a hell of a lot easier to reverse engineer something if you know how to operate it.
One big help is that you don't ruin your only sample of the item by using it wrong.

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>>27262088
"...Maiusque imperium, voluntas quidem cordis mei fructum afferant!"
>Ugh. Doing magic as a pegasus sucks. So much prep work and chanting and reading...
>Not even the good kind of reading either! It was all the boring stuff.
>The circle you carved into the grassy, Whitetail Woods ground glows brightly, crackling like a furious storm cloud.
>You are Rainbow Dash, and by Celestia you will not be a perma-virgin.
>You know this will be worth it. You KNOW it! This has to be worth all the weird questions Twilight badgered you with.
>Honest? If this doesn't work, then you're checking out of the dating scene forever. It's just too skewed in the favor of stallions.
>Living in fear of colts pulling shenanigans is NOT your style.
>...Living a life alone isn't your style either...
>You let out a shaky sigh. Why couldn't normal colts accept you? Accept that you're a macho mare? It's who you are! You can't just change that!
>You just want somepony who understands...
>The circle you carved into the ground glows so bright that your darkening thoughts are broken as you're forced to shield yourself with a wing.
>When it dies down, you look back over and see...
>No way... is that..?
>The tall, clothed figure blinks in confusion and looks around, but it's eyes snap to you a moment later.

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>>27264350
>No. Not it's eyes, HIS eyes.
>You can't describe his alien face, but the sharp, yet... hopeful eyes draw you in.
>Infront of you is a myth. A male human.
>Looks like 'myth' part is no more, though.
>Unmeaning to, you take a step towards him.
>He locks eyes with you and starts walking forward as well.
>Your walk turns into a trot.
>He starts jogging.
>You run, heart thundering in your ears, but not from the running.
>He runs, arms wide.
>No thoughts now. Only instinct.
>You leap into the arms without a second thought, not even flinching as they wrap around you in a tight hug.
>He falls to his knees in a skid, letting your rear hooves brace the ground and enabling your thoughtless head to rest under his chin.
>Your heart is racing and you don't know why.
>The human shifts, letting you press more of your body to his.
>The contact makes your body almost convulse in physical joy.
>You press your muzzle to his smooth neck, letting the divine scent of male mixed with the sweetness of clean cloth into your nose.
>His arms re-position, sliding under your limp wings and ticking the soft down feathers on the undersides of them as the arms reach around your mid section.
>W-what is this feeling in your gut? It's like... Like...
>You realize you have no analog for the strange sensation.
>Without input on your part, your mouth moves.
"I've finally found you..."
>Had you been noticing, you would have heard him say the exact same words.

2-2

I maked a thing. A few threads ago we talked about (and I'm pretty sure it was this thread) a thing where Anon is Twilight's dad, and Night Light got cucked. So, I tried to make that.

I think brandnew had dibs on this, but he hasn't posted anything, so maybe he can come in, steal the show, and show me how it's done.

>You are Twilight Velvet.
>And you have fucked up.
>This isn’t a ‘set the oven to broil instead of bake’ level fuckup.
>This isn’t a ‘forgot to pay the water bill and we’re showering at the neighbors’ level fuckup.
>No, it’s even worse than that, this is a ‘Oh hey honey, it turns out our second kid wasn’t yours’ level fuckup.
>You are currently sitting alone in your study, frantically trying to figure out how to keep your daughter from telling your husband that daddy was an interdimensional being
> She’s too old to bribe with candy . . . maybe books? Luna’s flank that filly loved books.
>She’s smart, maybe she can see reason? Maybe she’ll see it’s just for the best if nobody ever, ever talks about this. Ever.
>If only she hadn’t started studying thaumatic field fusion and inherited traits, then she never would have realized that it was a bit weird how powerful she was
>You mean, Twilight was always a smart girl, but sometimes she just overlooked the most obvious things because they weren’t in a book for her to study
>You could manage a solid stun spell (like any real unicorn mare should), but your hubby had all of the magical potency of, well, a night light.

>>27264366
>Your daughter was pulling off complete, reversible, biological transmutation spells at the age of five
>By the age of nine, literally the only pony left to teach her magic was A SUN GODDESS
>You shudder a bit. Celestia only knows what she was capable of now.
> Last you heard she turned a god of chaos into stone.
>Then unfroze him.
>Because ‘everyone deserves a second chance, even the reality warping tyrant that ruled before Luna and Celestia’
>You won’t admit to being scared of your own daughter, but let’s say you’re glad she never went through a rebellious stage.
>You’re wrenched from your thoughts by a knocking at your study door.
>”Hey, umm, mom? You . . . got my letter?”

>You are now Twilight Sparkle, and this is . . . whoo colt this awkward.
>In the course of your studies on inherited versus learned magical traits, you discovered that you were an outlier. Of sorts.
>One thing led to another, which led to consulting your mothers tax records for travel related business expenses, your own birth certificate, and weather reports that were nearly two decades old
>Which led to you realizing that for about half the time window you could have been conceived in, your mother and ‘father’ were half a continent away from one another.
>Next came three angrily worded letters, none of them sent.
>Then a slightly more neutrally worded letter that you did wind up sending, saying you’d be stopping buy to ‘ask some questions about the family tree’
>After that there was a good amount of stress eating, ice cream, hayburgers, and frantic pacing
>Finished that evening off with some light sobbing, feelings of betrayal, and an identity crisis.
>With all those things checked off the list, (You made sure to follow the list. You read in a psychology textbook about all the ways ponies cope, and decided to sample a few) you packed up and caught the next train back home

>>27264320
It uh... radiation and sheeiiit.

>>27264373
>That was yesterday, and now you’re here, standing in front of your mothers study.
>After a particularly awkward conversation with Da- . . . Night Light, you politely declined a sandwich, assured him that everything was fine, and headed upstairs to your mothers study.
>You gently tap on the door with your hoof.
“Hey, umm, mom? You . . . got my letter?”

So yeah, lemme know if it's shit, because I have a Chemical Thermodynamics final on Thursday, and I don't wanna waste my time and perfectly good bumps

>>27264380
high frequency radio waves that vibrates heat into shit.
I think.

>>27264358
This is actually really good.

>>27264382
More. Structure and grammar's all technically sound and shit, and now I really wanna know where you're taking this.

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>>27264358
daww

>>27264366
>>I think brandnew had dibs on this, but he hasn't posted anything
You should probs go for it then. If he gets buttmad after calling dibs months ago then just call him a faggot

>>27264438
>>27264418

Two people is one more than just me, so, I guess I'll do more.

>>27264382
I'm interested, bro. Keep going.

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>>27264382
>Refusing to call Night Light dad.

>>27264464
Why not just punch him square in the dick while you're at it?

Keep going, it's pretty good

>>27264258
complacency is the major killer for humans. we need smart people to further us as a while but if everyone fucks over the smart people you end up living in mud huts when the rest of the world has at least one skyscraper per race.

i'm honestly very interested in tracing back where modern civilizations started from because each culture has to have one defining characteristic that started them all

>>27264510
>"The Aristocrats!"

>>27259062

>Be Anon
>Sleeping blissfully
>For some reason, your pillow is extra fluffy today
>Not that you mind, working on the farm is tiring work
"Zzz..."

>Be Applejack
>Buck whatever granny said, colts are no pushovers
>That fact was shown to you after you sneaked into Anon's room
>A mare has urges, and that urge needs to be settled
>With cuddles
>It's not wrong at all! You were just gonna go in, get a bit of snuggles...and leave! Yeah, leave. That's totally what you were gonna do
>However, there were issues
>Such as trying to be the "big" spoon when the "little" spoon is two times your size
>Bucking Anon wont budge at all!
>And then he suddenly flipped around and crushed you in a bear hug
>Which leaves you here-hot, bothered, and kind of turned on
>Celestia you are going to have so much to explain tomorrow morning

>>27264303
this is the problem, everything is incredibly easy to understand and talk about, but once you go further, you have to say "im not smart twilight, we use these things every day and while its impressive to you, its disposable to us"

the way around this i'm going for is my anon spend a childhood curious, taking shit apart and learning everything he could, while the knowledge was fucking useless on earth, its more then enough of the ground work for whoever hears and is interested to hit the ground running.

>You are anon, and you are on a train
>The last stop possible before the bad lands
>Your unsupervised time in the library was limited, but you were given unlimited access
>Get Pinkie to start some shit, Twiggle goes out to deal with the shit, and you have around 1-2 hours of time in her "private collection"
>Never told Pinks what you were up to, it would be bad for your plan to be even remotely found out
>No, your supervised study consisted entirely of frozen tundra environments and asking what races live in the coldest of climates
>You want that ball of autism off your ass
>Trains making some noise, likely close to you destination
>You pick up your things, make damn sure the knife is secured, and see where the safest spot to jump off would be
>Equestria may not give to much of a shit about stowaways, but you want to have no part in being found
>Fucking "mares duty" shit... want no part of that shit ever again.
>You know back home trains went FAR faster then this, they have to have
>You are able to get a running start in your car and run straight out actually going a bit faster then the train was
>Stumbling a bit, you slow yourself
>Looking at the light, you're a good mile, maybe 2 away from town


Seriously, any little thing that could irk anon about ponies, big or small, would help greatly
I have ideas but I'm missing pieces, but I got ideas

>>27264610
Practically something for the My Little Progress threads.

>>27264610
>anon has "the knack"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g8vHhgh6oM0

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Do you know who's the most sexist pony?

The one who's cupcakes bring all the colts to the yard.

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>>27264664
I wish he'd draw more Nightmarity/Twi shit.

>>27264639
fucking love dilbert,
granted the closest that i'm going to go for anon building anything himself is an 8 bit cpu, as its something i'm able to do with a schematic. not able to explain anything, how it works or where to go from there, the task passed initial conception gos to those smarter then him with references back to anon every now and then to see if he thinks they are on the right track

>>27264634
Trust me when i say its rgre, however the anon wants to stick the biggest middle fingers he can up at the entire world and after his fuck you/suicidal decision turns out for the better, FAR better than he could have thought, he figures out ways to stick them fingers up just a bit higher.

Also, while i love the idea of anon bringing technology to equestria, i cant possibly think of a way to make a story out of it without twilight being an ooc cunt about tech, or ponies jusbe being maliciously evil toward progress, hell the closest thing i have read where twilight wasn't a complete fuck head was when they said "the science people couldn't explain magic, so we ignored and shunned them" and i'm fairly certain that i could come up with small experiments on my own to show what happens when you know something to show her there is progress, and i could also recount the many times we had our whole understanding changed due to one new discovery, and how magic was by no means something simple in the grand scheme of things and it could very well be the most complex thing to explain that there is, the only way to make twilight still be a douche and have a story is to take her completely ooc as being thirsty for knowledge.

I also see anon the alien as being something that is princess worthy, and twilight would be involved almost no matter what.

>>27264664
>Teach Pinkie about shitposting and 4chan jokes
>Tell her about the privelidge greentexts after you laugh at a few mares holding doors for you
>She enacts that scene after inviting you to help her bake a cake Only she also voices the text in the square boxes in what seems to be a fem!Rorschach impression
>Anon's sides are thoroughly destroyed by best pones antics
>Nopony else gets his humour
>When somepony asks what's so funny and they try to explain ponies think that Pinkie is abusing Anon

>>27264692
Kanashipanda is pretty fucking great.

>>27264740
Sounds like the Dexter-esque scene with Pinkie someone wrote in one of their greens.

>>27264382
Amphetamine based medications mean random 2,500 word stories from no name writefags.

>A faint glow envelopes the doorknob as the old, heavy oaken door swings open.
>The ‘study’, as you mother called it, was really more of a mare-cave with a desk.
>There’s a liquor cabinet, a stack of carriage magazines with stallions splayed across the front, and an ugly green carpet that never gets vacuumed
>As you close the door behind you, you notice the dartboard hanging on the back of it.
“You know that Night Light would throw a fit if he knew you were throwing darts inside the house.”
>And just like that, the tension in the air eases a bit.
>You and Velvet let out breaths that neither of you knew you were holding.
>”I know, but considering the circumstances . . . in for bit, in for a bag.”
>You turn to face your mother, who is attempting to look very interested in a newspaper that is two weeks out of date.
>You can’t help but smile a little. No matter what happened, your mom is still you mom, ill-conceived attempts at humor and all.
“So mom . . . I wanted to know a bit more about my paternal ancestry.”
>Your horn flares a bit, and you feel the familiar surge of power leaving your body as you soundproof the room.
>Velvet half folds, half crumples the paper as she flinches visibly.
>”Ahh . . . well, I think that Night Light’s grandmother was a pegasus-“
>You stare at her flatly, and she withers under your gaze.
>”So . . . you, ahem, know?”
>She squirms uncomfortably against her faux dragonhide seat, and almost appears to shrink down behind her desk, as if taking cover behind it.
“I have sufficient evidence to conclude that Night Light is not my biological father.”
>Your measured tone looks like it did more damage than if you were screaming.
>The strong, grown mare that was your mother had shrunk down to the size of a small filly cowering behind her desk.

>>27265075
>”I . . . I just wanted what was best for you. For everyone. I wanted to tell your father. I wanted . . . I wanted to tell you. But, when I sat down and thought about it, I decided that would be selfish. That I wanted to tell you because it was easier than carrying this secret alone. Tartarus, half of me is almost glad you figured it out.”
>She takes back a bit of her usual stature.
>”I didn’t want to destroy everything. We had just moved into a bigger house, Shinny was making friends at school, your father was so happy to have you to take care of . . . I didn’t want to destroy that. So, I hid it. I lied, and I’m sorry.”
>She’s looking very intently at the space just in front of your hooves.
>You feel a little sick to your stomach, and it’s not just the binge eating of greasball hayburgers
>You had known, yes, you were certain to a statistically significant degree (within reasonable error bars)
>But to hear the words come from your own mothers mouth, that your father wasn’t really your father . . .
>It was like a hoof to the gut
“Why?”
>You can’t help the slight emotional quiver in your voice.
>There’s a pregnant pause, the silence saying more than words would.
>In that silence is the immense regret, not for being caught, but for betraying that trust.
>There’s the weight of a secret, kept for a lifetime, being lifted.
>”I was young. Dumb. In heat. Your father . . . your biological didn’t exactly stick around. I don’t even know his name.”
>You cock your head to the side.
“You mean, like-“
>”NO! Not like a vagrant. Yeesh, I wouldn’t take advantage of a stallion like that. It was the neighties, and that free love movement met new age spiritualism, so I headed to a ‘tension relief lodge’.”
>She idly traces little circles in the carpet with her hoof.

>>27265085
>”I tried to convince myself that it was something that it wasn’t. I tried to convince myself it’d just be a relaxing massage, some scented oils, and maybe one of those fancy pheromone censer to help ease me through the heat. Your father was on a ‘just the stallions’ cruise to the Zebrican territories, and I didn’t have any friends in town. Not that I’d ask for help with a cooler at least. Just moved here, remember?”
>She sighs and sits, seemingly drawing some sort of catharsis from being able to tell the story.
>You do your best to just listen for now, your curiosity outstripping your anger.
>”So, I get up to this lodge, there’s the massage, the cute stallion receptionist, but then, they take me to this like, underground chamber, with all these weird candles, and tell me to climb onto this velvet covered half bed, half table thing.”
>That’s . . . not how you expected this story to go.
>”Then, there was some chanting, the candles got super bright, then . . . super dark? It’s hard to explain if you’re not there. Then he was there . . .”
>You can hear the slight awe in her voice, and it disgusts you.
>”Magnificent. Toned. Muscular like a minotaur, but, lithe, slender, and graceful. Before I knew what was happening, we were . . . well, you don’t want to hear about that part of the story.”
>A bright red blush burns against her pale coat.
>”When it was all over he just . . . faded into nothingness. Poof, gone like smoke in the wind. I assumed that there was something in the candle smoke. My heat was taken care of, I certainly felt I had gotten my money’s worth, and I hadn’t actually slept with a stallion. A month later I felt you kick. It was the first sign that anything was out of the ordinary.”
>This . . . this isn’t what you were expecting at all. You were expecting a fling with some floozy stallion after too many at the bar, or an old flame surging back to life in the presence of a stale marriage.

>After all, in your studies, you’d found that statistically, most affairs were consummated under the effects of alcohol, and with previous partners.
>You weren’t expecting to hear “I’m pretty sure I got knocked up by a ghost at a spiritual retreat”
“I wasn’t expecting to hear “I’m pretty sure I got knocked up by a ghost at a spiritual retreat.”
>You snort, a bit angrily.
>”There was nothing incorporeal about that stallion!” She says defensively.
>”Look, I tried to do some research on the place after I found out I was pregnant. They were long gone when I went back, entire place was condemned and demolished. All I came up with was a news clipping that the place had been shut down for using prohibited magic. All the other records are sealed.”
>She magics an old, faded scrap of paper out of her desk over to you.
“Fradulent Spiritualists Found Guilty of Dangerous and Irresponsible Magic Use”
>Huh. Okay. Wow. So, your mom isn’t the cheating scum bucket you thought.
>Unless this is all an elaborate lie.
>You examine the clipping intently, focusing your magic on it.
>It’s . . . authentic. The particular waterproofing spell used on the ink was only used for 12 years, including the date on the article. The paper in question has degraded the proper amount for its alleged age, no trace of forced, magical weathering,
>You can tell by the shape of the ‘p’ on Spiritualist that it was originally written on a Model 14 Weaver & Hort typewriter, which went out of production nearly 20 years ago, and only saw service with large news agencies due to its high cost but excellent performance and durability.
“I believe you.”
>”I know you don’t believe me but- wait what!?”
>You mother practically balks at you
“I believe you. I’m going to ask Celestia about this. She can have the ponice records unsealed, and I’m going to get to the bottom of this.”