/lit/, I come to you with a request for some advice. The reason

>>7470428
Oh dear me, no. No. Honey... Just no.

>>7470440
Could you explain why you think this is a bad idea please?

Or suggest an alternative means of expressing my desire to get to know her?

Jesus fuck every part of this post is terrible.
Please delete this and save yourself the embarrassment, and if it's bait, then bravo

>>7470447
Could you explain why please or suggest an alternative?

It's not bait.

>>7470453
U r a sincere man born n insincere age

Ur alternative is to discuss meaningless dwtails of yr shared environment

'Hey did yu notice that clock is fast in th waiting room

'Did u kno sharon in accounting has a hispanic son

Etc.

She will reciprocate if yr bone structure is good

>>7470446
Because unadultered honesty like that of your letter is the embodiment of autism and her pussy will forever dry up at the thought of you, she'll probably even give HR a heads up that a sexual harassment suit might be incoming, since that's how all women view beta males like you
"He just... I can't really explain it, he just gives me the creeps"
You should check yourself out for autism one more time, because the foundation of your social adaptation is quite shaky at best. Go read some game blogs, Heartiste or something, women do not want to be treated like delicate things

Add her on Facebook.

Say 'Hey'

If convo develops, 'You fancy grabbing a coffee on [DAY]?'

why not just ask her?

>>7470473
I did not intend to treat her like a delicate thing, or burden her with the responsibility of being "good company". I realize that if I present myself as overly nice, inoffensive and I suppose childish in my desire to walk and talk for a while this likely would seem repulsive to most women, though I did not intend to represent myself that way and my character or disposition is not meek, naive and inoffensive as those of "beta" males tend to be.

If you gave me that note I would assume you plan on raping me and throwing my body in the Thames.

>>7470428
wew lad

1st paragraph is an overly wordy and self-centered way way of saying 'wanna go for a walk down the Thames this sunday 'round half past bong,' all that crap 'oh yes quite i think we might appreciate one another company mnnnyesss' is OBVIOUSLY FUCKING IMPLIED whenever you ask to hang out with someone, you don't need it. Ask for an email/number verbally or put down a meetup place and hangout on the note itself, don't write a note telling people to return the note so you can write them more notes, that's inefficient and dumb

2nd paragraph should be rewritten 'I'm an insecure manchild, please ignore me forever unless you want a jealous stalker'
> I am not trying to sound clever or intelligent in the way I write
mission accomplished m80

>>7470428
here's how this is going to go down
>t-take my note
>o-okay sure
never looks at it
five hours later Chad comes up to her
>sup baby can I get your number
>yeah sure let me just get a piece of paper out
She then proceeds to write her number on the back of the note you gave her and give it to Chad

>>7470477
I don't have facebook, and I would only have around seven people I would add on there (excluding family) should I create a profile.

>>7470483
We see each other two or three times a day, when she comes to my office to print thing off at a nearby printer. This takes from 2 - 20 seconds, and since I am surrounded on all sides by work colleagues any attempt on my part to talk to her would be a conspicuous sign of my being attracted to her, and since I am a rather quiet person it may even seem insincere on my part. I realize it's unwise to a live a life dictated by the suspected perceptions of other people, though in this case I do not feel the risk of ridicule and potential embarrassment for her is worthwhile.

>>7470428
If a girl gave me this note I would be disturbed
No one wants to go out with a robot

>>7470512
What kind of note would you be more appealing to you?

>>7470522
Don't write notes for someone unless you're dating them. Then it's cute.
Just talk to them in person.

>>7470428
LONDON
O
N
D
O
N

>>7470527
I explain the reasons why talking to her is difficult here: >>7470505

If you could suggest a strategy by which I could talk to her I would appreciate it.

>>7470505
This is like reading my internal monologue from 5 years ago, christ on a cracker how horrifying

I diagnose you with Avoidant Personality Disorder and can only recommend you start believing that your awkward schooldays are over, even if the nightmares aren't

social rejection and ridicule for expressing attraction does not exist among reasonable adults. How the fuck do you think you can sincerely open up and form relationships with people if your every thought is dominated by concealing your feelings from them out of fear they won't accept you? You're an adult free to choose his own social group, you're not obliged to tread carefully for fear of lunchroom bullies anymore.

get rid of the second paragraph altogether, it's pathetic and cowardly and will actually only heighten the chances of her showing it to her friends

>>7470428
No, man. You sound like a sub-par attempt to woo her with Byronian poems.

Listen, she might like you for being quiet and bookish, who knows. Because of that, I'm going to help you out. If you really want to do this walk along the Thames thing, just approach her one day and say "Hey, on Sundays I usually go for walks along the Thames near Waterloo. It's nice this time of year. I was wondering if you wanted to come with me, and then after we could go to a chip shop/coffee shop/whatever you fucking Brits do. I'd appreciate the company."

If she says no, move on. Last but not least, recognize that she's a person first and a female second. If you really want a relationship, and not a quick fuck, you have to become friends with her first, and this would be the first step.

File: lovecrafttt.jpg (37KB, 250x400px) Image search: [Google]

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Write out Lovecraft's love letter to his future wife

>“Dear Mrs Greene, The reciprocal love of a man and a woman is an experience of the imagination which consists of attributing to its subject a certain particular relation with the aesthetico-emotional life of that which feels it, and depends on particular conditions which must be fulfilled by that object. […] With long years of mutual enduring love slowly comes adaptation and a perfect relationship; memories, dreams, delicate stimuli, aesthetics and the habitual impressions of the beauty of dreams become permanent modifications thanks to the influence of each upon the other […] There is one considerable difference between the sentiments of youth and those of maturity. Around forty or maybe fifty years old, a complete change takes place; love accedes to a profound calm and serenity founded on a tender association before which the erotic infatuation of youth has a certain mediocre and humiliating aspect. Youth brings with it erogenous and imaginary stimuli based on the tactile phenomena of slender bodies, in virginal attitudes, and on the visual imagery of classical aesthetic contours symbolizing a sort of freshness and springtime immaturity which is very beautiful, but which has nothing to do with conjugal love.”

>>7470505
>I would only have around seven people I would add on there (excluding family) should I create a profile

No, people with facebook friends that number under a few tens are veritable social pariahs. It'll also be insincere.

>>7470505
If you're honestly longing for her, you'll need to make the jump and do it. She'll find any other way to be bizarre.

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OP here. despite your ambiguous criticisms I have attempted to re-write the note more poignantly and to "get to the point" as it were by declaring my intentions from the get go.

>>7470587
Heh.

>>7470566
Thank you for your advice, I appreciate it.

I am not intending on experiencing "quick fuck" and I agree that each person must be treated as an independent individual whose personality is the consequence of his or her own unique life experiences, and whose desires, interests and preferences cannot be assumed. I like the idea of approaching her this way, though as I have written previously in the thread I barely come in contact with her. A few weeks ago was the first time she asked me for help finding some stationary and though this may seem pathetic and naive when I saw her eyes I was overwhelmed with the conviction that she is at least curious about me, although this may of course have faded in subsequent weeks where my feelings towards her have grown in equal proportion to my attempts to act as though I do not notice her. I had the idea of going to the bathroom more frequently as we occasionally pass by on the stairs on the way to and from the several bathrooms available, sometimes holding a door open. Should I find myself in this position (which is rather unappealing as its associated with bodily functions and doesn't allow an "escape" should she not want to talk) I planned on saying "I love you" and making it seem accidental before saying "sorry I meant thank you", hoping she would find my apparent slip humorous and flattering or something like that. This is I reflect a rather stupid idea and I really must confront her in an open, "normal" way if I'm to win her affection before she assumes (if she hasn't already) that my quiet disposition is evidence of a boring personality. I really just don't know how to go about this. I've considered all the options I can, and the more I consider the more impractical they become.

>>7470428
The problems are too numerous to deal with entirely. But instead of telling you to scrap the letter entirely, I'll at least point out some ways you can make it sound more confident and intelligent, without changing the question you're asking her.

First, shorten everything. As it is, it's terribly indirect and full of little hesitations.

>would you be interested in going for a walk with me this Sunday along the Thames near Waterloo?
cut this down and make it more direct:
>Will you go with me for a walk along the Thames on Sunday?

instead of
>You seem like somebody whose company I might appreciate

how about try
>I'd enjoy your company

>if your impression of me is at all positive I hope you would enjoy my company too, if only for a short while
scrap this entirely, it reeks of self-consciousness

>If this does not appeal to you, blah blah blah please don't show this note to people,
scrap this too. the more you talk about how you'd respond to her rejection, the more you give the impression that you're obsessing over whether she'll say yes.

Final letter:

Dear Girl,

Will you go with me for a walk along the Thames on Sunday? I'd enjoy your company.

-Boy

>>7470505
Don't shit where you eat

>>7470597
Although I appreciate the frankness and simplicity of the sentence "Will you go with me for a walk along the Thames on Sunday?", I also (and this may be particular to me) have the image of myself sweatingly, violently asking her that in near-desperation.

>>7470566
>If you really want a relationship, and not a quick fuck, you have to become friends with her first,
beta orbiter detected. OP do not take advice from this guy unless you want to be cleaning this girls house and taking her kids to school while she fucks her husband. You'll be the equivalent of the "family dog"

>>7470596
Nope, if this is OP YOU do have autism.

>>7470428
You just do you, brother. If that note is an honest representation of you and your feelings, send it her way and pray. If after reading the note she's uninterested, fine, no big deal. You can move on with your life and maybe one day find a girl who is interested in you.

>>7470621
That would be the case if they didn't work together.

>>7470619
It was obvious OP was on the 'tism spectrum from the OP post itself. Simply declaring "I haven't been diagnosed with autism" does not mean you aren't autistic.
I mean look at this:
>I will attempt to quell the nascent longing I feel towards you
This is one of the most autistic and creepy things he could write

>>7470428
Just focus on the positives and her, women could care less how you deal with the inevitable rejection

>>7470428
This would creep me out so fucking much. I would seriously consider changing jobs to get away from you. Dear fuck. I'm glad I'm not a woman so I don't have to experience this type of thing.

this thread is honestly painful to me

>>7470633
>could care less

>>7470630
Could you explain why this is creepy? I wasn't referring to sexual longing, only a subtle, persistent desire to be in her company.

OP, this smacks me as overly optimistic and romanticised. I'm begging you not to carry this out as a fellow Englishman to another. Please, please, please don't do this. I am inclined to agree with >>7470621 but I simply can't because I do not envision this working and I can only foresee it turning on you. If it was somebody you see on a less regular basis, fine. London is a huge, expansive city - unkind, impolite and disgusting honestly - but Jesus Christ, don't send it. You'll ruin your damned Christmas.

I can't suggest any other way to you unfortunately. Suggestions on here already are terrible to be frank. It's times like this I'm glad I live in a nice town.

>>7470644
And from this I take it as infatuation. This'll pass like all things.

>>7470643
I meant to say "don't give a fuck" but I was distracted

OP here. I am not going to write this note or hand anything to her. I appreciate the response.

>>7470596
You're a real human being and a real hero.

>>7470644
We all love 19th century literature here, there is no doubt. However, talking like someone from that era is retarded and will have the exact opposite effect you desire.

>>7470655
Good man.

>>7470655
God bless. Better to be harsh than to be lied to.

>>7470655
You should still ask her out. In person next time your both in the break room or something.

>>7470644
It's not creepy. Some people just find such a direct expression of feelings uncomfortable. They'd prefer you stick to their safe familiar phrases, and to avoid saying too much altogether because you might accidentally make yourself vulnerable and we can't be doing that now, can we? One must always be light-hearted and share one's feelings playfully, ironically, slowly, indirectly, allowing the other person to read between the lines.

Am female. The only person that could make this work is Benedict Cumberbatch. Unless you are he, you come off as both creepy and pretentious.

Good god op. Do not give her this letter.

I don't even know where to begin in providing an alternative for you... But just don't give her this note.

>>7470428
Holy shit I'm literally hyperventilating.

Please dear god don't give her that note.

If you want to give her an actual well written note I could see this working. But fuck. Oh my god. My chest hurts. YOu're really scaring me.

>>7470676
Listen to this femanon man.
Unless you're ridiculously handsome (kek) you can't just do crazy shit and expect it to work out. Asking in person sometime is your best bet id say. Perhaps sometime when you're alone compliment her on her hair or some shit just to get a conversation going and then ask her out before you have to leave

>>7470669
No. No he shouldn't. Someone who doesn't understand what's wrong with that note should never ask anyone out.

>>7470567
by H. P. Lovecraft

When, long ago, the gods created Earth
In Iove's fair image Man was shaped at birth.
The beasts for lesser parts were next designed;
Yet were they too remote from humankind.
To fill the gap, and join the rest to Man,
Th'Olympian host conceiv'd a clever plan.
A beast they wrought, in semi-human figure,
Filled it with vice, and called the thing a Nigger.


>>7470643
omg kill yerself

>>7470691
Stop. He's clearly a thoughtful, sensitive guy. Lots of girls like guys like that. She might find him a bit odd at first but she might eventually come to like his quirks. Don't discourage him. Rejection is never as bad as you expect it to be. He should still try, just not with the note he created.

>>7470700
What suggests that whatever he would say in person wouldn't be this bad? If he doesn't understand what's wrong with this he's not gonna understand what is a good way to ask someone out in person.

>>7470710
How do you expect him to make any progress without at least trying?

>>7470711
He should get better at social skills in general, at least until he understand what's wrong with that note. There are tons of ways to train your social skills, that are much less likely to creep someone out, than (attempting) dating.

>>7470689
C'est vrai. Honestly, only a really hot guy with a posh accent and beautifully deep voice could make this work. To be fair, there are a lot of things that only a really beautiful woman could get away with, too. That's just the way the world works.

If ou really want to do the note, I think you should try to be cute about it. Write a much, MUCH shooter note asking her out, write it on a piece of paper, fold it into an airplane and throw it at her from across the room when she goes to print something. Look at her right until she makes eye contact and then look away playfully. Write in the wing that she should open it in her own office. That would be cute as fug.

>>7470742
>shooter

>>7470742
Yeah actually that may work seeing how fucking dorky op must be with the note he's written. If she likes that kinda guy you're definitely in . A note like back in elementary school, something playful may be better . Like "do you like me circle yes or no"

Then again this is if you absolutely just lack the balls to ask her out in person, your best option

>>7470655
Thank you. Don't let these responses make you give up entirely though. Try to talk to her like a normal person before you start making tenders of your affection. Compliment her on something in a non creepy way. Notice if she gets a haircut. That sort of thing. Also be attractive. That always helps.

>>7470428
>stationary
OP please write in your native language. Forget English. That's the best i can do for you.

>>7470768
>Don't let these responses make you give up entirely though.
Don't listen to this. Give up entirely until you have some social skills.

>>7470767
See, I really like dorky guys. This would probably work on me.

>>7470446
Girls don't like that pussy shit: be a man and ask her verbally if she wants to go on a date.

P.S delete that note.

>>7470827
>See, I really like dorky guys.
I also enjoy lying to nerds and giving them false hope.

>>7470428
You spilled a big bag of words there.

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>>7470485
be simple, strong, confident. If you won't ask her in person write her a note that literally just says "(time) and (place)? - (name)"

>>7470868
Contradictory though, the ONLY way to not be a spineless c u c k is by asking her in person

>>7470841
>tfw attractive girl dating a dorky, overweight manchild for six years
>tfw completely content with relationship
>tfw strangers on the Internet won't believe you anyway

Low maintenance relationships with lots of cuddles and netflix and very little drama ftw.

>>7470587
Fucking lol

>>7470925
Christ shitposting has gone to high levels. In persons better but a letter is not at all bad, unless its like the one he wrote

No friendo. You sound like a naive love-swooned youngster and bless your innocence for it but I can tell you girls don't like a walk or love letters. If you want to ask her out you're gonna have to say it to her face and I suggest lunch for a date.

Good luck OP.

>>7470943
#SitcomLife
#YOLO
#OnlyGodCanJudgeUs

Just understand that the basis of men being liked/desirable to woman literally revolves around the image of an independent person with a life that is going on with or without anyone else. The 'imploring' she share a walk is desperate and reeks of everything ugly in a male. You CANNOT give her the letter in any format lest you be seen as a child. A man, who she might be attracted to would not give a fuck about other office people and just ask her in front of them.

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>>7470976
yeah women tell you they want to help and be their for you, but then when you need it and they see you are weak they leave you

oh wait thats basically everyone it life

>>7470943
People never believe me either when I tell them Im a 10/10 bdsm billionare (think Christian Grey) and I'm dating a fat, decaying feminist 40 year old with hairy armpits. People just need to stop thinking in medieval, problematic terms of gender relations, ffs it's 2 0 1 5

>>7470827
What she says:
>I like dorky guys
What she means:
>I like attractive dominant males with such unwavering confidence theyre not afraid to be dorky aka saying whatever the fuck they want around me because they don't value my judgement or opinion, I like that

>>7471018
>>>/r9k/

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>>7470428
Not even Costanza would do something this dumb, and yeah you're trolling OP, but even this as a joke is ridiculous.

>>7471027
>>>/reality/
>>>/acceptingit/
Woman detected

>>7471041
>Woman detected
Nope.

>>7471018
>I like Chads who wear glasses

>>7470428
DONT WRITE NOTES
DONT USE WORDS YOU WOULDN'T USE IN CONVERSATION
DONT TALK EXPLICIT ABOUT "DESIRE", "ATTRACTION", "LOVE", ETC.
YOU ARE
AUTISTIC
UTISTICA
TISTICAU
ISTICAUT
STICAUTI
TICAUTIS
ICAUTIST
CAUTISTI
AUTISTIC
S
T
I
C

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>>7471068
>accuses autism
>takes the time to type that out

Hey man, just ask her out. It'll be Ok, even if she says no, it's unlikely that anybody else in the building will care. You're not in secondary school anymore. Be brave, and you'll be fine : )

>>7471092
>it's unlikely that anybody else in the building will care
I'd make fun of him every chance I got.

>>7471068
>blather and slur

Ignore the insults in this post, but listen to the advice.

Don't write notes.

Don't try to sound formal. Formal is for formal situations, not for asking women out.

Just ask her to coffee or something.

Walks are hard to get out of if things go off the rails.

If you ask her out while at work, remember, she can't leave, so be respectful of her space. Ask her out and then leave her alone whatever the answer.

If she says she's busy, don't pester her. A soft no is still a no.

Be confident. Chicks fucking love confidence.

Good luck. Autistic or not, you are human. You deserve love.

>>7470488
Hahah, I laughed. Good one

>>7471103
>You deserve love.
#EntitledMillenials

>>7470587
Aah, i see. This is a joke

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>>7471071
mfw
>>7471103
sure

>>7470428
This is 10/10 satire, OP.

Fuck. Good job. This is hilarious. Consider publishing.

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>>7470827
>>7470943
fucking disgusting, 4chan posts can have big effects and leading on poor cucks like OP is sad, you fucking harpy.

>>7471159
>you fucking harpy
If it's not sincere there's no reason to think it's a woman.

>>7470742
>be OP
>write love note on paper
>fold paper into airplane
>go to qt's office room
>stare at her for five minutes until she looks into my direction
>start to sweat
>fire off my airplane
>it falls short
>I try to retrieve it
>falling over my own feet into desk of her chef
>I trip the desk, the monitor falls down
>try to put it back up
>"It's ok, Mr. Anon, we'll do it ourselves".
>blush with the force of a thousand suns
>crumble paper plane in my fist
>retreat into my cubicle
>hear laughing coworkers
>look over the wall of my cubicle
>a trail of spaghetti

ITT virgins and beta orbiters

Thames this weekend?
- faggot

>>7470446
don't write the note, OP. letters are for people you know already and can't see face-to-face.

just hit on the girl, even if it's difficult, she'll appreciate it.

>>7470660
yeah read this op buddo

>>7471699
>she'll appreciate it
Lies.

Ouch!
Just realised that I've wanted to say (in person though) something quite similar to a girl I like but now I just don't know what to do.
The difference from the OP's situation is that I've actually talked with the girl and find it hard to understand if she had any attraction towards me (when we have lectures together she looks at me sometimes, smiles when we talk and usually asks what's up etc; at the same time our internet conversations are mostly all related to our studies and I write much more text there; she's also very social and I am not [as you may have already guessed from this autistic post; I started to feel cringey while writing all that stuff in brackets]).
So to end the torture I feel I wanted to confess and either move on or finally have something positive happening in my life, I guess?

And I also have a hard time understanding problems with that note.
Will it come with experience or something?
Also I feel I should write "sorry for asking ask this and moving further in the direction of relationship advice, and sorry for shitty English".
Could that desire also be part of the whole problem?

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>>7470428
op is gone but in case he comes back and for /lit/'s edification on how to into /females/ here's what you're supposed to do.

op:
do not give her the note
do not give her any version of the note
do not ask her out

she knows nothing about you and you know nothing about her. your chances are shite right now. since she's cute, she probably has a boyfriend anyway. still, it's the boy's job to initiate so do these things:

>establish contact.
say hi when she comes in to your area. make sure you're friendly. do you help her personally with the copier or whatever she needs? help her personally. do you ever need to go to her area? find a reason to. is there a lunchroom area you share? say hi whenever you see her. make sure to hold the door for her/vice versa. in the morning, fuck around with your phone in the lobby until she comes into work so you can take the same elevator. etc.

>begin rapport
after she vaguely knows who you are, ask her how her day's going. ask her how her weekend was. be interested in her answers. if she doesn't have much to say be prepared with how your day is going/how your weekend was. try to have an interesting story about it. even if you don't and have to talk about work ("we have to do [whatever] in our department today. it's too much to do") you're signalling interest by talking to her.

do you know anyone in her area? ask them about her.

keep talking to her so you learn about her life.
do things like: on friday ask her what she's doing on the weekend. don't ask her out yet, you're still laying groundwork. (at this point she might say she's doing something with her boyfriend on the weekend. it doesn't matter. you want to position yourself as a viable candidate for if/when they break up.) make sure you have stuff to tell her about your upcoming weekend.

start flirting by teasing her about shit.
ask her out eventually if she seems open.
i'm skipping details here but you have enough to work on with the stuff i've already told you

>>7471703
Yeah, that's what I'm saying. It's a bad idea.

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>>7471829
it's usually pretty obvious when a girl is into you (does she sit by you, does she initiate conversations &c) so she probably isn't.
if she's shy (which it doesn't sound like) you should be signalling her by sitting next to her and so on.

if you want to move it forward, do the stuff i've posted here first
>>7471829
start learning about her life, find out if she's seeing anyone, what she likes to do for fun, build up a rapport

if you dont have the balls to ask her face to face, slide a note not the shit you wrote under her things like a notebook, folder or if you have lockers slide it in there. Something like this >>7470566

>>7471832

Not OP, but thanks for the advice! A lot of the time I get stuck on the establishing contact bit.

>>7471832
God this all sounds so torturous and unnecessary. I am so glad I have invested my spirit in the world of anime.

>>7470962
>girls don't like a walk

Literally why? It's healthy and stimulates the brain, and also allows a sense of privacy in a public space. Drinking coffee or alcohol is so boring.

>>7470468
Holy fuck
Who writes a post like this?
I don't even mean the spelling errors, although that adds to its strangeness
Who are you?

>>7473014
I was also entertained by that post. It reads like a deadpan cartoon.

>>7470596
this is Chris-chan tier

>>7470676
pls be in perth

>>7473050
You do realize that you're literally the only person in Australia who posts on /lit/, right?

>>7470827
london

Do you guys know if slav girls tend to initiate things? There's this qt georgian girl at uni that always looks at me when I look at her or say "good luck" before an exam even though we barely see each other.

>>7473061
Female here. You seem creepy.

>>7473064
what do?

>>7473069
Become a shutin to protect people from interacting with you.

I'm not the femanon, just to be clear.

>>7470691
>Someone who doesn't understand what's wrong with that note should never ask anyone out.

;_;

There is a simple test to use to determine whether a woman is interested.

"Hi, tell me, what do you think of my [hair, shoes, clothes, watch, eyes] ?"

If you get a response that is longer than the question, it means she is at least not repelled by you and possibly interested. It forces her to re-evaluate you, and gives you an opening to flirt, set up a later meeting, use her as a springboard to meet her friends or to leave her alone since she is not interested.

It's important to use the words YOU and MY, since it implies her opinion matters to you, but women never explicitly state what matters to them, so it confuses her and makes her insecure, thinking that you are not actually interested in her opinion.

If you aren't an aspie, it will also give you a 10-15 second window to gauge her true reaction to you and her level of attraction. Gives you a chance to make eye contact, establish a friendly rapport and continue the conversation in a playful direction that breaks the ice.

>"Hey, I got my hair cut last week, what do you think of it?"
>"Oh its nice."
>*pause and wait*
>*silence becomes awkward*
>*if she still hasn't said anything, she isn't interested*
>*look at her smile and make an excuse to leave*


>"Hey, I got my hair cut last week, what do you think of it?"
>"Oh its nice."
>*pause and wait*
>"I get my hair cut once a month, split ends are awful...."
>*she turned the conversation onto herself, she is a solipsistic whore*
>*look at her smile and make an excuse to leave*

>"Hey, I got my hair cut last week, what do you think of it?"
>"Oh its nice."
>*pause and wait*
>"My names Ingrid, have we met before?"
> *you're in the N-zone, inside that pussy in 7 days*


Did nobody teach you how to talk to people anon?

>>7473139
This is literal normie, bro-tier advice.

You think Schopenhauer would ever degrade himself to ask what his love interest thought of his new pair of Crocs (TM)?

never use the word nascent in anything romantic

the note can be really successful though

>>7473162
>the note can be really succesful though

Try reading the thread. You're the only person who thinks that.

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>Write 4 notes, leave one on her desk, hide the other 3... profit?


(0)
Dear HerName,

I have hidden three more notes around the office.The clues to finding them (and me)
are written in prose, as my intentions towards you are quite forward and ungentlemanly.

Young romance must begin with this,
Over a coffee, a furtive look?
Under the stars, a tender kiss?
Let written answer read inside a...

(1) Book - hidden in a book

Dear HerName,

One reads it must begin with fire,
Some roaring passion wanton and of most necessary,
To be departed by a longing in desire,
Two revolve as one and Earth herself is...

(2) Stationary - hidden around stationary
Dear HerName,

He whispers as the stillness draws,
Emboldened, steps out toward the line,
Go? or sweep into the empty pause,
A hope for sunset, sunrise to call you...

(3) Mine - taped behind her monitor
Dear Hername,

Meet me near Waterloo along the Thames,
Expecting you this Sunday after noon,
Wear something red and walk with me a while,
To begin a new journey, you must first step


If this girl doesn't fall in love with you in the span of the 45minutes it will take her to solve this, then I am not the brilliant writer you all know I am.

spoiler: I am brilliant, she will fall in love.

>>7473014
The bone structure is a reference to r9k's popular tripfag eggman

>>7470609
That's because you're cripplingly self-conscious, as anyone can tell from the original letter.

>>7470428
oh jeez dude, this is a really nice intention, I honestly think you should just go up to her and ask her out. if you do give her the note, I would make it simple. Especially don't out in that second one. Short and sweet is nice :)

>>7473014
he right doe

>>7470587
lol this isn't the real op

>>7470596
this is a bit right?

>>7470621
op if you are going to do this, please make it short and sweet. Like this:
Hey I'd like to take you out for coffee sometime, if you're up for it let me know! [insert email or phone]

>>7470655
No! don't give up! just ask her out in person! you will get a chance. :)

>>7473539
>take you out for coffee sometime
>exclamation mark

This is so cliched and boring.

>>7473545
>you will get a chance. :)

What authority do you have to assert this?

>>7470691
hey shut up man, this guy's intentions were solid he was just going about it wrong. He's obviously thoughtful and sensitive >>7470700
like this guy said. He should still try, the worst that can happen is that she says no

>>7473561
Actually the worse thing that would happen is that he is that others find out and he gets treated like more of an autistic wierdo than he currently is, with the added fact that his love interest is from then on worried about him approaching her again. It's literally not as easy as simply "being yourself"

>>7470718
Nah, he should try to date while he still has his youth. We don't live forever. What does it matter if things don't go perfectly? They never do.

>>7473561
The worst that can happen is that he creeps her the fuck out. Stop thinking so selfishly.

>>7471027
lol stay bitter

>>7473566
>What does it matter if things don't go perfectly? They never do.
This is nothing but cheap rethoric.

Besides, no sane person would want to go out with him. It's not like he's gonna miss out on anything by not asking people out.

>>7470428
Let's take this thread to the limit.

>>7471832
this desu senpai

>>7470428
>might otherwise effect
>effect
Just because you use a lot of words, it doesn't mean you're a good writer. Your post is autistic and the image is autistic.

>>7473566
Yes but "trying to date" is an ambition, with "dating" its aim, the attainment of which has to rely (especially in this case) on a specific strategy he can use to properly express his affection for this girl without scaring her and thus embarrassing himself and leaving him without even the self-willed illusion that she may be interested in him, and the consequence daydreams which have provided him with relative comfort in a life which, for the moment at least, is pretty much devoid of comfort and beauty. Bear in mind that this girl is also in what will likely seem like the "prime" of her life, and that she must realize her beauty and youthful vigor are probably best spent enjoying herself with sociable, well-adjusted individuals, who might in turn allow her to pursue novel experiences and retain a sense of sustained happiness, while OP, who is likely prone to gloominess and who appears not to have many if any friends at all, can offer her what exactly? Presuming also that this girl is privately educated and is used to lifestyle associated with the middle to upper classes, what then does OP have to offer if anything, assuming by his self-consciousness and insecurity that he was raised by a single mother in a working class environment? To me the prospect of him communicating with her in any form except that of an practical and romantically indifferent work colleague, seems completely futile. And enough people in this thread seem to not only agree that he should not talk to her, but that displaying affection to any girls, or expecting any affection from them towards someone like himself, is both quixotic and "worrying". I can only conclude that OP should, for the benefit of others as well as himself, remain unloved and perform his social duty without expectation of any reward except his meager wage.

>>7473599
I don't think OP's intention was to present himself as a "good writer".

>>7473546
its a cliche because it works

>>7473611
Tell it to the judge.

>>7473551
op was saying he never has the chance to speak with her because of all his coworkers. I'm saying he'll get the chance at some point to ask her out

>>7473619
But how do you know that?

>>7473611
he's not going to get sued for asking her out for coffee lol, what kind of twisted and bitter view of the world do you have?
>>7473621
you think he will never be around her one on one? I guess what I really meant was that if he gets the chance he should do it, instead of totally giving up.

>>7473619
Just ask to get a coffee in front of the coworkers. By doing it in some weird planned time when the coworkers are not there for a minute subcommunicates that you think it's not quite right to get coffee with her, and that you lack confidence

>>7473667
Bad advice. Don't do this.

>>7473055
Such a defeated plea

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>>7470676
>benedict cumberbatch
He looks like a fucking alien. Why do chubby tumblrinas always get so wet for him?

>>7473864
You jelly?

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>>7473911
I'm confused.
I hear the x-files theme whenever I see him.

>>7471619
this

hilarious when c/lit/dryers try to give advice on women

>>7473667
wtf dude, do not do this

>>7470499
damn..

>>7473667
kek, good try

>>7470428
Don't be so formal, ask her face to face, and although you have not been diagnosed with autism that does not mean you're not autistic.

ITT: people being genuinely helpful instead of just making op feel bad

OP you're social skills are seriously sub par. One imagines that you have a neckbeard. No one is ever going to like you romantically. Do you even have friends? You would do well to hate yourself and give up all hopes.

>>7473864

Them cheekbones, them eyes, them furrowed brows, and that sexy voice.

Don't hate him cuz you ain't him.

>>7470468
carles?

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>>7474043
>>7473911
I come in peace.

>>7473014
the style is obv part of the mssg, jeez

>>7470609
No, the entire last sentence is basically you pleading with her. No one wants that. Be short, concise, and respectable. You come off sounding entirely too whiney.

The short and sweet version this guy posted is perfect.

>>7470597
>Dear Girl,
>Will you go with me for a walk along the Thames on Sunday? I'd enjoy your company.
While obviously miles better this is still terrible.

Personally I thought the first letter you posted was sweet. Although after reading that you wanted to say "I love you" followed by "I meant thank you" hahaha do not do that. But holy shot can we please get a picture of you OP are you a neckbeard?

OP your subconscious is screaming at you to avoid this, but your hormonal impulses are saying take a chance. In reality you don't have a shot with attractive women. You see, modern day women can pick physically attractive men for a sexual encounter, and financially stable men for long term coupling. You appear to fit into neither category and as such you are at best a fat drunk girls impulsive mistake.

>>7473246
Jeez, you want to help OP or get him put in a psych ward?

P.S. Poetry isn't prose.

>>7474076
you write like some people i know
are you teddy, b, or owlie by chance?

>>7474180
well I wanted to work within the limits he had already set out: going for a walk by a river, giving a hand-written note, etc.

>>7470596
Barnaby?

>tfw I am exactly like Mr Rochester
>tfw tomorrow I am going to reveal to the girl I like that I have been rusing her and that I am actually quite a passionate person

Got any good suggestions for quotes to use on her?

>>7474188
OP here. I am not a neckbeard. I don't want to estimate the quality of my own physical appearance, all I can say on that part is that throughout the latter years of highschool and during university there were around 7 girls, most of them attractive in a conventional sense, who made their attraction to me explicit.

>>7474201
I don't think this is true, mostly because in February 2014 a girl who was "hot" by conventional standards (I thought she was pretty but was not the type of girl I am attracted to) asked for my number and proceeded to set up a series of cinema dates, eventually resulting in us kissing, removing most of our clothing, sleeping beside each other while our bodies touched, and almost in penetrative sex. I do however get the impression from this thread that it is best if I leave girls alone and don't hope that any girl would actually find me very appealing or nice to be around, which does made me very unhappy.

>>7474652
That's not my name. I also don't get the reference if you're making one.

>>7475130
>Bartelby the Scrivener

>>7475130
>a girl who was "hot" by conventional standards (I thought she was pretty but was not the type of girl I am attracted to) asked for my number and proceeded to set up a series of cinema dates, eventually resulting in us kissing, removing most of our clothing, sleeping beside each other while our bodies touched, and almost in penetrative sex

I've heard penetrative sex is the most pleasurable, I wouldn't know per say the closest I've gotten to full immersion is papercuts and soggy pages.

>>7475164
The post said Barnaby. But your mentioning of Bartleby the Scrivener is relevant here because in my workplace I am essentially a Bartleby-esque individual, doing my work quietly but thoroughly, barely speaking other than answer questions from my boss or from others who have questions for me. This is one of the reasons I am so hesitant to talk to this girl, as I assume if I was a girl and I saw someone like me I'd assume they were autistic or incapable of social interaction and would therefore see them as a potential burden should they express their attraction towards me. I mean Bartleby was probably a virgin. The thing is that I am so invested in my imagination and a sort of alternative reality which I craft and mould according to my desires and wants (non-sexual) that I can't simply "move on" from this girl because I know (because of my imagined experience) how beautiful our relationship could potentially be. I have several imagined scenarios involving us both, and have run through the dialogue and so on so often that whenever I go to the bathroom at work I immediately squat and press my hands into my eyes and feel sad because of how grossly reality conflicts with this imagined reality. But really I don't think I have anything to offer her. She has friends and is from a wealthy and civilized background. She presumably enjoys social events and parties etc, and I simply would never be suitable to be introduced to her family and friends. It makes me feel bad.

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>>7475194
Just bee urself and read this book. You have to get a go get 'em attitude. Shirk all forms of embarrassment and don't be afraid to say what is on your mind. Be nice to her and she will love you. You just have to be yourself, get out there and try to be more social.

>>7475217
Being myself doesn't seen like a very good idea, but thank you for the advice.

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>>7475230
You should try to ask her out. Ask her to get coffee and get to know her. It can't be that bad. You should try to go with friends first and then you can have a one on one date with her. You just have to work up to her. Start with the basics and try not to be wimpy.

>>7473110
way ahead of you man
I'm already onto step 3

>>7475241
>You should try to ask her out.
I know this is 4chan and we like giving people bad advice for le mischief, but op seems like a swell person, don't try and trick him like this.

>>7475249
What's step 3.

>>7475241
I don't have any friends. I don't like the idea of drinking coffee as a means of establishing a form of relationship, and I think my being cliched in this sense will only encourage her even more to see me as just a weird, boring guy. This week she has started coming to my office less for some reason. I see her around once a day now. Today she passed quickly through. The workplace is closed for the holidays now and I am faced with the sad prospect that she will kiss somebody on New Year's Eve. I'm not even excited about Christmas at all. I wish I could just work the entire holiday including Christmas day provided she worked too and I could just look at her once or twice a day. She is so beautiful and the way she conducts herself and her smile (oh my god) just destroys me completely.

>>7475262
>I don't have any friends.
Change this before trying to get a gf.

>>7475250
>asking her out = a date
I meant to go in a group as friends. If they get to know each other then they can get to know each other over time and OP will be less scared. 2bh he seems mildly autistic.

>>7475130
are you paid by hirohito to make fun threads?
Does he pay you by the word?

>>7475269
Why would she want to go out with him as friends? Also he said doesn't have friends so it's apparently not an option.

>>7475276
You're right. He should sit back and do nothing and not ask her out. He should stay away from making friends and getting a gf.

Everyone here is going to tell you to never do it in a hundred years. But they aren't you, and there is a reason they are on 4fuckingchan. Do whatever the hell you want man, you only have one life to live and 30 years down the line you're either going to be laughing your ass off at how this turns out or you'll be in an awesome relationship because this worked out or you learned from it for the future. The first step is always telling someone how you feel, and if you want to do it through a note go for it. Besides, if she's the kind of woman who things a romantic note is pathetic I have a feeling you wouldn't want to date her anyway. My current gf would have found it cheesy as hell, laughed, given me shit for not asking her in person, and said certainly if I'd asked her out that way.

Also, the note you have now reads pretty informally. You might want to write with a more comfortable tone, but that's just my way.

>>7475280
There are better ways to make friends than asking out qts at work who don't know you at all.

Why would you try to be friends with someone because how they look anyway?

>>7475285

>>7470637

Also yesterday on my way back to the workplace after lunch she was standing at the base of the stairs on the ground floor where people sometimes go to talk and she was smiling on her phone and I know she saw me enter through the glass front and when I passed her she said, while smiling and in a voice which expressed her joyful mood: "we've had this conversation before!" which I immediately assumed was said to her boyfriend or love interest. It really made me sad but I acted indifferently and pretended not to have noticed her and went to my office. A week or so ago I playfully, in joking with myself and as a somewhat ironic expression of a sort of angry, brutish male, kicked the door open that led to a small space where one door led to an office and another to a toilet, and she exited and stood there and I think we both said "oh" and I pressed myself against the wall and held the door open with my arm outstretched and fingers parted and she looked at the floor and sort of "scuttled" out, ducking a little as she moved past me. Another time, maybe two months ago, I approached the top of a flight of stairs and she appeared at the bottom and when she noticed me wanting to come down and waiting for her to come up first she ran, two-steps at a time, and apologized in passing. Around three weeks ago she stood near my desk, separated from me by a metal filing cabinet, and smiled in a way that made me ill with attraction towards her, and asked if a senior member of the office, who often helps her company with minor administrative issues and so on, had arrived at work yet, to which I answered in a way I retrospectively consider to have been garbled and unclear, possibly contributing to the fact she said "oh ok" a few times and left. Around that time also a fan blew a piece of A4 paper onto my desk which she had failed to secure atop the metal filing cabinet and I weighed it down with a stapler and she, standing at the printer beside and behind me, said "sorry, I didn't secure it properly" and smiled and I said "oh ok" with an expressionless face and continued doing my work.

>>7475285
This guy gets it. If you don't take a chance you may as well never bother. The worst thing is she may say no. So what? There are other women out there. So far a note sounds like she might think it's cute as long as you don't act creepy while giving it to her.

>>7475276
I was being melodramatic when I said I didn't have any friends. I do have many friends online with whom I go to for support. I've been playing World of Warcraft for six years and EVE online for three, and have amassed a large number of friends in both games. I also have participated in many non-anonymous message boards (such as Reddit, socialanxietysupport, and the EVE online forum) and am relatively well known in most of them. I am only really "without friends" in real life, which worries me because she may think, incorrectly (though that doesn't really matter), that I am propositioning to her out of desperation for someone to talk to and not because I value her as a person and would prefer to spend the rest of my life with her than any other person I physically know.

>>7475298
Okay, but that doesn't really make a difference for what I said.

>>7475294
Go for it, dude. She smiles and flirts with you.

>>7475298
Talk to her friends and get them to come with you. It will alleviate the stress.

>>7475294
OP, if all of this has been a troll, you're a fucking master.

>>7475298
Lads, we've officially been had for over 200 posts!
gg OP

>>7475295
The worst thing is that I will be humiliated by my colleagues, and that her colleagues will look at me with disgust and that she may even be scared by my handing her such a note. The workplace is closed for the holidays now. Companies move in and out of the building quiet regularly so hers might not be there in January for all I know. If they do move at that time I will be very sad and, having already wasted around three opportunities to talk to girls who I was attracted to and who expressed their attraction towards me, in the past, will likely hate myself even more and react to this self-hatred with further self-disciplinary measures, an even more intense asceticism and a more impassioned internalized plea to end my own life.

>>7475298
OP here. This is not me

>>7475307
>>7475312
>>7475314
That wasn't me.

>>7475313
I'm not trolling.

>>7475309
But she seems like a kind, upbeat kind of person to the people she talks to. I tell myself she smiles at me that way because she likes me, but I know how lonely people like me are led to such delusions so easily and so pathetically.

>>7475320
Stop shiteposting. You're just attempting to hijack my thread. That is not funny. Let them process the analytics and decide if I have a fortunate opportunity to get with this girl. My nervousness needs to stop but I can't get over how beautiful she is. I am thinking of inviting some of my WOW friends over to help me. If you don't want to help in my predicament then please, leave this thread. I have been insulted here and on Reddit multiple times, that I did not much care for. Please then go and leave. I would appreciate it.

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>>7475309
>seriously thinks that smiling -> flirting

>>7475329
The first one was good, except the last line but who bothers reading that much, but this is just weak.

>>7475322
>but I know how lonely people like me are led to such delusions so easily and so pathetically
It's good that you're self aware.

>>7475333
It's weak to process my feelings. You are talking to someone who has been insulted on Reddit, the socialanxietysupport and eve online. No amount of your trolling can phase me. I will just pack up my things and leave to go elsewhere. I just want a clear and simple answer on how to win her over. She is a lovely angel. If you were in my present shoes then you would prefer to be treated the right way. Please, just give me a good answer. That is all I would like. Come January 1st I would prefer for my lips to organically press against hers in a loving embrace for the upcoming festivities.

>>7475347
You're not funny anymore, go away.

>>7475330
It is a form of flirting in the way that OP describes it.

you know, maybe you should just ask her if she lives in london. It's all you can take away on dating from 4chan.
It's both personal and universal: everyone lives somewhere, except gypsies who are free and outcast.
Make sure she isn't a gypsie and ask her and if it gets awkward (ie she just answers with one word and then stares at you) use another subject ("do you have a car?" no not the car that's too personnal still.
Making it wilfully awkward may be the best situation for you.

>>7475351
No.
>>7475352
Top kek.

>>7475352
This. Ask her if she is a gypsy or a Jew.

>>7475352
She does live in London, it's almost impossible not to unless you're willing to commute over an hour or have enough money to live in some small rural town. Your point about making it wilfully awkward, although likely suggested as a joke, is actually interesting in that my own thought was that handing her this would initially surprise her, and then perhaps worry her, and since this sort of thing just doesn't happen to people she would perhaps try to laugh it off or not take it seriously, before reflecting and perhaps appreciating the fact that I don't talk much and seem quite reserved and that the honesty of my expression and the fact that I seem to realize that it is not a normal thing to do would perhaps appeal to her sense of compassion, which might in turn remind her of any attraction or positive feelings she may have towards me.

Anyway it's close to midnight now and I have a headache. My year is over, and so I resign myself to the lonesome passing of time as I wait in anticipation for January when my work begins again. For months I have yearned for the Christmas holidays, but now faced with their appearance I only want them to be over as quickly as possible.

>>7475371
>She does live in London,
You couldn't tell that that was a troll post?
>I have not been diagnosed with autism
Maybe you should go and get that checked out for sure.

>>7475371
Just fuck off already. We've got it your le master troll.
>>>>/b/

>>7475385
I am not a troll. These posts (>>7475347, >>7475329,v>>7475298) aren't me.

>>7475392
Yeah sure. Okay. You've got us. You were only pretending to be autistic. If you're not trolling (which you are), just go to /adv/. If not, lurk moar, faget.

>>7475377
Because of my bookish personality, my parents had me checked for autism many times when I was a child and I came out fine. (I understand that this sounds depressing but I came out a stronger person as, from the tests that the psychologists, doctors, et. al had given me, I learned that I have an IQ well above the national average.) I am a normal person who just struggles a little bit socially because I haven't had much experience in that field; when I was younger, my parents didn't let me go on playdates with other children so I spent my days at home reading books or playing video games and that isolation snowballed through middle and high school (as most of the students in the school preferred to stay friends with people they knew since elementary school or their mutual friends.) However, I am not completely lost socially as I have read books to improve myself in this area such as The Art of Persuasion and the FBI book on reading people. The only reason I did not catch that the "London" post as a joke was because I spend most of my time on other message boards; I am new to 4chan and as a result am unfamiliar with the local dialect and "memes." With experience, I am sure I would have caught the joke (and the many other jokes throughout the thread, though I assure you that my life is not a joke.) I have a sensitive heart - which, I think, is why my parents would never let me with other children, though that made things worse - and would prefer if you (and the others in this thread) would be more respectful. To the many people in this thread who did give me good and earnest advice, thank you. I think I will be asking her out and am anxiously reviewing the previous posts on how to do so. I am already fantasizing about how our first day would go and how our lives would be if we were to get married someday.

>>7475406
(I think this is a troll and not op but in case it's not)
>my parents didn't let me go on playdates with other children
WTF
>The only reason I did not catch that the "London" post
The London thing was the part of the post that made the most sense.

Soon I am going to reveal my feelings to the girl I like, and I am going to use the line "You're a rubix cube but i'm too damn colourblind"

Continue y/n?

>>7475440
I would have no idea what that was supposed to mean.

To be honest it's easier to first be friends with someone before finding out what sex they are

>>7475427
Disregard that. It was a troll trying to slander my reputation. I had to take q break from the computer because I am getting flustered 2b Lincoln. I do not care much for those that slander my name and you know who you are being. On the topic is that I am feeling so in love but can not get it out for the life of me. I feel so ashamed and lonely. Every time I see her my colour turns dark green so I feel like throwing up. All I want is some advice and to you trolls, don't stay here because I feel like I have acquired all of your butthurt. Just stop it please!! My parents had me involved in multiples of play dates where I cavorted with other children in a timely manner for being a kid. So stop.

>>7475545
>My parents had me involved in multiples of play dates where I cavorted with other children in a timely manner for being a kid.
The laughter, it pains my stomach.

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>tfw you will never be ignored by a qt boyfriend-free girl in an office building in london

>>7475545
>>7475557
Seriously tho op, see >>7475377

>>7475557
It's true. DO NOT listen to the trolls. I had friends, family and countrymen. (Pardon the pun there!) These trolls want to make me look weak and fragile like a widowed tit-willow but I'll stand for none of it, you Dickiebirds!!! I come here for some answers and I get trolls, butthurts and zero sympathy. What little advice I have doesn't work. How am I supposed to bee myself when I'm the shyest one here!!!!

>>7475565
Yes. It is true. We have established that her permanent residence is in London. Buy what about my love debacles?

>>7475584
Did you see the part about checking for autism?

>>7475587
ask her if she has autism

>>7475587
Yes, but I merely disregarded it for it has nothing to do with my situation. I knew an autistic boy in Public school and he was Asian. That was very creepy. I did not like it. His parents spoke a foreign tongue that did not bode well with the intelligentsia. I wanted to leave that day, perhaps but I found a book on the story of Dadelus and Icaurus and it soothed me so that I kept from falling to the frightened and heightened amygdala. (Once again may you pardon the pun.)

>>7475606
kek

>>7475606
you read like the book "the incident of the dog in the night time"
look it up
It's about an autistic kid

This thread took a very I, Spartacus turn.

Is the spirit /lit/ really embodied in Sisyphus?

>identify with OP's struggle and personality
>i have accepted my mostly solitary life, but still struggle with certain aspects of it
>think these sort of condition is unique to people like OP and me
>someone starts emulating the prose and personality to mock OP
>still identify with the makeshift posts
>Now stuck in a MGS2-esque loop where I can't determine whether what I identify is sincere or a joke, and that my personality isn't unique
>hyperventialiting

thanks /lit/

>>7475608
>>7475610
Do you presume I could suffer from autism. I don't think it is true because when in public school I saw the autist and he was far too promising of the Moslem church. If I was truly autistic would I not have been formulated for that purpose? Instead of solving the puzzles that I did do while in school? Perhaps an influx to the doctor's office for my proposal of autism is in order?

>>7475606
>I knew an autistic boy in school and he was Asian. I did not like that.
>Asians
>in public school
>not an elite private school

>>7475440
>be me
>be in love with a girl
>be autistic
>try to tell her my feelings
>use a rubix cube simile that has nothing to do with my feelings
>she won't know what a rubix cube is since she isn't 30 years old
>things fall apart
>no GBP from mummie

>>7475626
I believe that this is peak /lit/.

>>7475637
Rubix cubes are nice and girls like them. My grandmother owns a collection of them. They were nice to play with buy they were sorted by colour and she wanted me to sort them by colour so that I may appreciate them fuller. Never leave a room as a neat she would often say to me. You mentioned Things Falled Apart. I did not enjoy that book. We read it in school and it was as opposed to my country's landmarks as I couldn't hope. All I asked was that Thatcher could remove it from the School's circulating curriculum system. Boy, would I be wrong for that? I love Buckingham and the book was released in the early 1950s I remember.

should this be archived for future autists?

Please, would someone just tell me the best advice? I'm crying. I see her every day and yet our bodies are not betwixt two mattresses which would allow for maximum sexual contact. Yes, I can not even talk to her without going all green in colour yet I need help!!!! I can't take this. It frustrates and infuriates and angers me. It's never swell to be an angry virgin waiting for your girl. What do you expect of me to do? What would she like? I don't even want to deliver the note anymore. I'll ask her to buy me flowers and take me to the movie if it has a better chance of winning me over in her eyes. Would it be the sweet thing for her to take me. I would be with her if I wasn't a Nervous Nelly. All I want is for her to love me. Please, help me!!

>>7475682
Bump so that all of the solutions to my quanderies may be revealed by benificient benefactors so that I may win my personal pride and glory as well as a sweet better half for my currently non-existing relationship.

Then give her the god Danny letter. It shows you are well spoken, bookish (she might like that) and overly shy. But no need for concern so as long as you walk up to her look at her in the eyes say "hey, I just wanted to give you this letter" smile at her, then be on your way. The letter is completely fine as long as you stay strong and confident in the on sentance you say to her. Good luck anon. Or you could go full 1984 and just give her a note that says "I love you" and then shout at her face "good day comrade" hahaha

jesus fuck

>>7475637
But a rubix cube would be cute. She would love the simile. OP should do it.

Can anyone recommend a philosopher who rejects the idea of having a girlfriend? I don't have one and I'm sure I made the right decision, but I want to make sure.

>>7475637
You do realize rubix cubes are pretty common don't you? It's not something only 30+ year olds know about

File: 1447122747598.png (117KB, 268x322px) Image search: [Google]

117KB, 268x322px

>/lit/-Normalfag advice

>>7475406
>>7475440
>>7475545
>>7475606
>>7475651
>>7475682
OP here. This is not me. I don't know how I could prove that it isn't.

>>7473064
Please don't use the 'c' word around here. It's considered rude.

>>7473911
What do you see in Tumblr (apart from the porn)?

>>7473064
Fucking roastie