Trans Help General #140

How many generals do you bastards need?

>>8182256
this is your first time here?

>>8182256
140 :^)

How can I truly be sure my gf isn't a Female-to-Male transsexual when she has already considered it twice?

Anybody have any luck ordering androcour from QHI to Norway? My doctor won't prescribe me androcour (because he isnt allowed to because fucked up rules). I get dizzy fast with sprio, have to drink all the time (which is pain, because I refuse to use public bathrooms), and it doesnt even work that well. Do you just order or use any other services (mailbox in other countries etc.)?

>>8184324
if she's already considered it twice, you bet your ass she's gonna transition in the future.

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How do I know if I'm AGP or trans, I really need help here on the brink of suicide right now I'm so lost and confused, I want to be a qt3.14 girl, then I fap to straight porn or tranny and picture myself being the girl and sucking on a big cock eating loads of cum or picture myself bring the tranny taking it in the ass. Then once I cum I lose all interest in sex entirely then like an hour later I feel the same about wanting to be the girl, I am not attracted the the male body whatsoever though. I have a huge cum fetus and think about eating my own and others cum and just swooshing it around in my mouth and enjoying it. Already posted in AGP thread, figured I'd ask here too to get some diverse answers.

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>>8186908
>huge cum fetus
Lay off the anime and you should be fine.

>>8186942
I don't watch anime or hentai..... What Does that mean for me

how do i get orchi, who do i talk to. a plastic surgeon?

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>>8186951
You have to explain why you posted anime then. You are clearly an anime girl addict. It doesn't matter if you watch anime, if you are saving and posting anime on 4chan you're full blown weeb. Even from your first hit.

>>8186973
It's just a pic to get attention from you weebs, and whoever it is I think she's cute, doesn't mean I watch anime i just like anime girls

>>8186908
are you the op of >>8177373

>>8186982
Ignore that retard.

You are not "AGP or trans". You can be either or both at the same time. Just ask yourself if you have dysphoria.
Do you look in the mirror and hate that you look like a man? Do you get upset/sad when they call you sir or use masculine pronouns?
Do you feel fuzzy inside if I refer to you as a "she"?

>cum fetus

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>>8187006
Please don't call me a retard
>>8186982
You don't need to admit it, everyone already knows.

>>8186989
No

>>8186908
it's amusing to see you guys still fall for the agp meme. It's like you want it to be a fetish so you can say you're just a weird dude and not a tranny.

hey
currently trying to get a little bit longer hair. dueto me being an idiot as young teen my hair isn't that great (hairloss caused by washing it daily and bad genetics). what ways are there to get stronger hair and are there ways to regrow hair? Thanks for your help in advance

>>8188216
Blanchard said AGP was a form of trans, idiot.

>>8188248
Blanchard said many things, which are all debunked by the medical community. You're the idiot here.

Have you seen his twitter? Blanchard is insane and lives in his own little bubble where the medical community is lying and AGP exists.

That's why it's so amusing to see 4chan consider his theory (that has never been replicated) as fact.

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>hrt makes you infertile
>Cryopreservation of sperm and artificial insemination
How many frosted samples do you need to fertilize a woman? One for one trial? Can you only use a part of it and put the rest back into the frost? If I want kids later, should I better diretly frost like 10 samples? Do you have to pay the same no matter how much material or for every single one seperatly?

What is a hsts

>>8188428
>which are all debunked by the medical community.
Stop spreading lies. Thankfully you know as well as I do there is nothing you can say in support of your lies so there is no reason for people to fall for them.

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>>8188513
Not him, but you AGP idiots, are a reason why i'm considering abandon this board.
Too bad its just like most of the rest of 4chan. Bitter fags, unhappy with themself bumping you out all the time. I dont need a feel good bubble but this constantly negativity is so nerv straining.

>>8188536
I'm glad your reaction to your disagreement isn't to start spreading lies.

>>8188542
name a few of those "lies" pls.
What is AGP for you and what does that mean directly for you and your life?

>>8188552
The lies are posts like >>8188428 which falsely claim Blanchard has been debunked. They are always just attacks, no substance. Sometimes the lying posters try to argue for a while but mostly they just drop claims like that, hoping that if no-one corrects them they can for low effort trick somebody.

>>8188572
>no substance
I can understand why someone doesnt search together all papers and statements. Ever wrote a paper with lots of references? It takes a shit load of time. Not worth a discussion on 4chan.
But you on your own didnt answered to me why YOU think Blanchard is right. You do nothing else than what you just criticized. Basicly only people on 4chan are supporting this theory, so I'm highly interested in why you do it.

>Blanchard divided trans women into two different groups: homosexual transsexuals, whom Blanchard says seek sex reassignment surgery to romantically and sexually attract (ideally heterosexual) men [...] -Wikipedia
According to this he sees transition as a tool to be able to fullfill sexual desires. Its like "I'm gay man, but as a woman it would be easier to have sex with men, thus I transition and get srs.". He doesnt takes into account that someone identifies themselves as a woman and thus seeks transition. That his female mind likes men (which would mean he/she is hetero). Same if you like girl. You would just be a lesbian.

>[...], and "autogynephilic transsexuals" who purportedly are sexually aroused at the idea of having a female body. -Wikipedia
To be honest? This just sounds like a fetish. Like for exampe petplay or sexual motivated furry. It doesnt take into account that someone identifies as a woman and wants to socially act as one, get a female body because they want to match their body to their mind.

Genderidentity has nothing to do with sexualorientation. If you would neglet this you would lump together all very different situations.

cont...

>>8188678
For me it seems much more that
>a person getting aroused by seeing themselves in female clothes
is only aroused by what he sees, not considering its himself, or if so its kind of narcistic. I mean there are straight people on /fit/ who fapped to themself because they became so narcistic in the course of lifting.

>the thought of being a girl and fucking themselves or getting fucked
again, narcism and erotic roleplay/fantasies?

Someone who would transition because of this would do it because of sexual motivated reasons whereas, like he would get a kick out of it, walk around horny all the time, jsut like any other fetish (no underwear, inserted buttplug in public or what else). Others do it because of self-identification.

I have to read more into it but these are my first thoughts on it.

>>8188678
>But you on your own didnt answered to me why YOU think Blanchard is right.
Quote the post where you asked this.

>>8188687
>>8188552
indirectly. But instead of asking for prove why not just answer?

Whats hsts

>>8188703
It's 4chan speak for "Heil Hitler, Heil Blanchard!"

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>>8188706
Pls no bully I need to know

>>8188703
>google hsts blanchard
wow that was hard

>>8188710
I'll rephrase it in a way that's easier to comprehend.

It means "hallelujah."

>>8188702
Because it tells us what being trans is.

>>8188717
Wow, a truely deep and in-depth answer. I'm considering you as a troll now. You got nothing else to do on a friday morning? Fuck off.

>>8188733
>You got nothing else to do on a friday morning?
It istracts me from the dysphoria and beats killing myself.

>>8188840
well, why not write a longer paragraph to answer me or counterargument my long post above? Should take some time to do.

>>8184818
QHI never gets stopped in customs to Norway
Order away

>>8188845
I shouldn't have posted like I did. I wanted to help people but I failed or what help I did wasn't worth how I felt. I can't reply at the moment and maybe I should stop posting entirely. In my state of mind I won't be able to change your mind.

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>>8188951
you sound like you have depression

Pic related, sry cant help it, law student.

>>8188977
Who doesn't when they're dysphoric?

>>8188981
Allready in therapy?

>99% sure I'm trans
>too scared to do anything
>current plan is just to eke out what enjoyment I can and then suicide

how do i stop being scared, no matter what I do or try I just feel disgusted with myself

>>8189185
are you okay with acting feminine in front of other people? i stopped being so terrified when i found more genuine friends and realised it wasn't necessary to LARP all the time in order to be liked by other people.

>>8189195
>are you okay with acting feminine in front of other people?

no

sometimes I realize I'm acting fem/faggy and it makes me feel bad

I try not to look feminine so people don't think I'm gay or anything, I have a kind of gay voice so I usually talk quiet and try to make it sound deeper

if i get excited or something you can hear that I sound like a fucking faggot though ;_;

If a child can consent to hormone treatment to alter their genitals, does that mean they are in control of their bodies, thus they can consent to sexual relations with an adult? not trying to shitpost so pls no bully. also fuck off FBI I am not a pedo

>>8189198
>if i get excited or something you can hear that I sound like a fucking faggot though ;_;
Yeah this was me. Just try acting feminine and you'll sort of start to break the pattern and notice that this is your nature, then you'll start shifting the focus off these innate features of your mind and onto your body and environment.

Are you gay btw? It may have been easier for me to take that step first bc I'm gay (male-attracted) and people knew that.

Is the following statement offensive (context given after), or do you think it could be construed as offensive (and why): "Do you worry that your video will stigmatize transsexuals who do not [scare quotes] pass [end scare quotes], meaning those who do not look like typical conceptions of the gender they are presenting as?"

In the context of a proposed campaign targeting body dysmorphia in the trans community by producing videos which intend to be destigmatizing (this was for some college assignment and the videos in question and whether the answer to my question was yes or no are irrelevant)

I'm wondering because some girl came up afterwards and told me the term transsexual is offensive, which goes against what I know about the lgbt community since I thought transsexual refers to one who has begun transitioning to another gender, whereas transgender refers to the larger community of people who do not identify with the gender they were assigned at birth. I could more have seen her saying "pass" is offensive, except that I used it in scare quotes to identify a particular issue with self-conception in the trans community.

>>8189239
No,
the legal precedents only pertain to medical treatments and are a remedy for religious parents preventing medically necessary care.

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Is life over once you get to Norwood III?

Middle of my forehead is moving up, gone from an M to an upside down U and it's getting really hard to do good hairstyles...
Is there anything I can do now before I get on hair meds or anything? My bangs keep splintering and any slight movement fucks my hair up. :\

>>8189239
This exact post was on /pol/ a few hours ago, is it the same anon?

>>8190158
finasteride or minoxidil

>>8190158
Get dutasteride, get RU59941 (read about it, it's a strong topical AA that is sold as research chemical), and maybe minox. It should do enough to keep and probably regrow some. If everything fails invest in high quality PU thin skin hair pieces

>ftm
How do I pass more successfully pre-hrt without looking like a butch lesbian? Or is that the best I can aim for? I have an andro looking face but it's not enough...

>>8190212
>PU thin skin hair pieces
What are those? Do things like.... Filler patches for hairline exist?
There was a place called the DuBrule hair clinic that offered something called 'ultra grafts' I was going to check out in the future but their website is down right now :\

What are PUs and how much do they cost?
If I could stop any further loss and fill in what's gone I'd be happy.

>>8190232
butch lesbian is the best you can aim for in most cases, pre-hrt passing ftms are rare, there's one in ftmg i think but thats all
on the other hand, getting on T makes it much easier, just do some voice training to not sound like a girl and you'll be fine

>>8190243
>What are those?
They're 0,2\0,4mm thin layers of polyurethane with injected V-loop human hair that you can use to fill in bald patches or even a whole head. They're often called cranial prosthesis in that case. You can get good ones off wholesale chink alibaba shops. They even make custom sizes or you can get a stock one and cut it according to the patch you wanna cover. They stick to the skin with surgical glue and if it's good surgical glue you can leave them on for very long periods. The cost varies according to length but it's never more than a couple of hundreds.
>If I could stop any further loss and fill in what's gone I'd be happy
For that, go for duta and RU. They'll keep what you have if you don't mind some possible side effects.

>>8190450
Thank you. Is there a difference in quality from the ones sold online to ones you gotta go to a clinic to get?
>For that, go for duta and RU. They'll keep what you have if you don't mind some possible side effects.
Duta is on the list, yeah. What side effects does RU have? IDR the ones Duta brings, but yeah I def want any more loss stopped and my missing patch comes back that'd just be amazing. My forehead is too tall without that M shape to give myself a pixie cut ;_;

>>8190462
If you get it from good, high rated stores with lots of real reviews, and contact the seller to have customized orders for the density, colour, and thickness of the PU layer, then it's pretty much the same thing. Clinics mark the price up to jew money out of you most of the times. If you want more info I can tell you and add you somewhere, I know about the topic because I had a lot to do with cranial prosthesis and this sort of stuff when my mom was undergoing chemo. For RU I know about it cause I used it on myself too, if you want an email or something I can write up what you need to know.

>>8190548
>I can tell you and add you somewhere
Yeah, thanks so much! I have a lot of questions so def add me. I'm about to leave for a few hours so if you could send me your Skype/Discord/Steam and anything else you wanted to add I'll add you when I can :D
Big load off my shoulders desu, tyvm.

[email protected] (not spam)

Is there an optimal weight/bodyfat before transitioning? I have cut my weight in half over the last year, feels good girl.

Any dietary concerns that need to be addressed if someone is counting each of their daily requirements and supplementing to reach all rdis?

If testosterone is is suppressed I imagine lifting would become difficult, would it be beneficial to switch to a routine of body-weight exercises and cardio or could I still continue to lift?

>>8190599
Sent! Add me and you can ask away all you like

>>8190601
>If testosterone is is suppressed I imagine lifting would become difficult, would it be beneficial to switch to a routine of body-weight exercises and cardio or could I still continue to lift?
You can still lift. You just won't be as strong and won't gain as much muscle because of the lack of testosterone. Cis women lift too.

>>8190292
Yeah doing voice training, it's going so-so but hopefully I'll get better with a bit of practice. I've heard of people drawing on bushier eyebrows and shit, thoughts?
Also, do you think fuller lips are a dead give away or does it not matter so much?

>>8190601
Just do SS kek

>>8190853
wide hips and narrow shoulders + feminine face is always a dead giveaway

If you start hrt, but still go boy mode.
What do you wear at the beach? Like..A tshirt all the time? Don't go into the water? I don't think I could wear a bikini top yet..

I will start hrt soon but I love going to the beach or swimming in general...

>>8190951
always a shirt, preferably black

>>8190951
i wear a shirt and im not even transing

>>8190960
Doesn't it stick to your body?

>>8190975
not if its made to be a swim shirt

>>8190985
Thanks for the quick answer! Helped me a lot. <3

>>8190932
I'm pretty much straight up and down thankfully, and work out to give me wider shoulders. Face is andro apart from full lips and I stress out over them, but not really sure if it's even a big deal.

>>8191007
full lips would probably be included in a feminine face

>>8190649
Added you on skype I hope, there were 2 with your name ;-;

>>8191246
No i didn't get your invite, you probably added my old account! Add the other one too.

How long does it take usually for mtfs to go from the 'not sure' to the 'definitely transgender' stages in their mind? I'm a lil confused and on the border rn

I need hairstyles that won't make me look like a butch. Been on T for 8 years and only have that pedo facial hair shit going on because my race is shit for facial hair.

>>8192610
Took me about a year, but at least half of that was spent in denial and just saying i was questioning to avoid having to face it for real

How expensive is bica compared to spiro online in the US? Also has anyone used nioxin and what are the side effects

>>8192610
>>8193356
In a similar boat here, I'm at a point where I can't even look at myself in the mirror for too long, my eyes just start to unfocus. I hate how my body is shaped, my masculine chest, I hate seeing all my body hair, I hate that my hairline is masculine and high and wide. I find myself thinking "god I wish I was a woman" more and more, I keep feeling jealous whenever I see pretty women irl or even just drawings. Yet despite all this I keep denying the possibility I may be trans, telling myself I'm overthinking things and making it all up. I just want to stop thinking about it and go back to being normalish again. Everything about transitioning seems so overwhelming and scary and expensive, why did I have to start questioning "am I trans"

>>8188503
Im doing this now before starting hrt and its expensive. Look up california cryobank. Its like 600 for one donation and about 500 a year for storage. Even worse, every additional deposit costs 200-400 depending on if you want the semen washed or not. How many samples you need depends on your fertility. I need to donate a few times because i want enough for two kid and have okay but not great sperm. i will be spending around 2000-2600 by the end of it.

>>8182174
MtF here.

My shoulders are 17 inches wide, but my hips are about 16 inches wide. I'm six feet tall. Is this acceptable?

How do you use hairspray? I want to make my bangs stay in place for a kinda emo style

>>8194891
just spray it on

>>8196572
https://sillyolme.wordpress.com/faq-on-the-science/

>>8196637
>sillyhonme

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How do I get the biggest titties possible
I know that tits don't get that big on HRT but what can I do optimally in terms of diet/exercise/etc?

>>8196572
Do you want tits? Are big muscles and body hair important to you? Do you enjoy having a penis and testicles? Would you rather have a vagina?

These are the kinds of questions you should ask yourself. Physical transition is the only permanent part of this. Everything else, just take your time with.

>>8196775
Yeah, I'd love having a female body. Big muscles and body hair were always digusting to me, and about penis well I don't really know, doesn't really bother me, I'd prefer a vagina, but at least I don't have to choose in this moment

>>8196695
Anon should read it and make up her own mind.

>>8196879
HRT seems like something you would want. Most men are comfortable with having manly features. Almost all transpeople, especially those attracted to their desired gender, go through a period of questioning if they are "really trans" that almost always ends in the affirmative. If your "deepest dream" is to have a relationship with a woman as a woman, I'd say that's enough of an answer for you.

>>8196907
Should anon read flat-earthers, anti-vaxxers, etc. blogs to make up their mind too?

Well the thing I'm most uncertain about is if I want to transition how will people around me will react. For example classmates would most likely notice that a new girl goes to their class instead of a boy lol. And I don't know if my parents would accept it. My mom told me a few times that she wanted a girl, but she's religious and probably wouldn't accept me. Same as dad
Also forgot to tell that >>8196729 wasn't me( >>8196572 and >>8196879 )

The fact that I live in a highly intolerant country(Poland :( ) doesn't help. I mean I'd like to go to study abroad, but it's at least 4 years away from now

There are a lot of ways to clandestinely transition. Self-medding would be a start.

>>8196980
>For example classmates would most likely notice that a new girl goes to their class instead of a boy lol.
You can just take HRT; you don't have to socially transition until you're ready or until the changes from HRT become too obvious to hide. The point at which that happens varies between people, but will probably be pretty early with you because of your age. Also, most people won't be paying enough attention to notice the changes to your fat and skin and such; the only thing that will stand out will be breasts.

>>8197028
>or until the changes from HRT become too obvious to hide
I was thinking mostly about that.

How expensive is HRT usually every year? Also, does having a naturally youthful appearance (babyface) help in transitioning mtf?

>>8197068
this, also is smoking and drinking as bad on hrt as some websites tell? Ofc I'm not talking about like 1 pack a day, but like 2 cigs a day(not even everyday).

>>8197157
on hrt as bad as some websites tell?* I can't speak this late

>>8197157
>>8197166
My endo wouldn't even let me start HRT unless I quit smoking.
As for drinking, depends on what you're taking. If you take spiro drinking is fine, if you take cypro try to limit it to once every few weeks.
I actually can't wait to get castrated so I can get rip-roaring drunk again..

>>8182174
How do you know whether or not a desire to be a girl is valid and not just a symptom of underlying issues?

I've repressed so many emotions over the years, and lately I can't seem to hold the emotional wall I've built up steady. I'm depressed, anxious all the time, and losing all motivation to do anything. In my mind, I frequently have thoughts about being a girl and being comforted by a partner, frequently male, and this seems to bring a calming feeling of safety and security. Sometimes these thoughts are more sexual in nature. I think that it's possible I may have unknowingly been repressing these feelings along with the rest of my emotions, since I remember having some thoughts about being a girl and wore a few girl clothes once when I was young.

How do I know if this is genuine and worth exploring or just a product of outward stresses acting upon me compounded by repressed emotions coming out?

>>8197386
>implying there's a difference

>>8196775
>Physical transition is the only permanent part of this
Not him, but I thought that after some time on HRT you became sterile and couldn't regain fertility? Giving up the ability to have children forever is one of the factors that's holding me back from really accepting the mere idea that I may be trans.

>>8196931
Teach the controversy!

>>8197386
"An unexamined life is not worth living"

I think that thinking about wanting to be a girl being the result of underlying issues is a toxic mindset.
My mom would do that to me. "oh he's just confused." "He just wants to be a girl because his step father is mean to him and nice to his own daughter so obviously he just wants to dress as a girl to get affection from his step father."

If you want my anon advice, I'd experiment with feminine things and see if they make you happy and keep a journal with your daily thoughts.

Also, it's a pain to find a therapist, but having an unbiased voice to bounce ideas off of is helpful.
Gl

I have almost accepted that I'm trans, but there is one thing I'm wondering about. I am AGP, but most people here on /lgbt/ say that AGP trans people imagine themselves as a girl in relationships, which doesn't really fit me. I am really attracted to girls, but I don't think I imagine myself as a girl in a relationship with them. I just think about them, and I'm not really sure, if I think about my own body with them, maybe even as a male. This makes me question the whole thing, because my imagined relationships are so different from what /lgbt/ describes. Is this what's called "projected AGP", when you only think about your partner?

Also, I happen to suffer from autism, and according to /r/gendercritical, estrogen can cure many of the symptoms of autism. Is there any truth to this? If so, that'd be an amazing excuse to start HRT, and even if I'm not trans, it may still ne worth it.

>>8197547
>estrogen can cure many of the symptoms of autism
sorry what?

>>8197545
>therapist
I was going to see one soon™ for the underlying issues, but I don't know if I'm ready to open up about the girl feelings to another person in a non-anonymous setting.

I realize that this manner of thinking probably isn't the best. It's entirely possible I'm reaching towards that line of thinking as a method of avoiding the question.

>I'd experiment with feminine things
I'm not living alone at the moment, so do you have any suggestions on small things that wouldn't necessarily draw attention in close proximity? For example, crossdressing is a no-go since at some point the clothes would be found in the laundry or otherwise be seen laying around. I feel like I should explore this but I can't have anyone know until I myself know for sure.

>>8197624
Hey, if you're not ready to talk about your girl feelings, then you're not ready.

Subtle things you can do hmm
Grow your hair longer and keep it tidy.
let your nails grow a little longer and get a buffer and a nail file to keep them neat.
If you can grow face hair, keep it clean shaven - if you're just starting to grow facial hair, you can tweeze it. You can also clean up your eyebrows by slightly tweezing them and slightly trimming them down with scissors. Just make sure to start slow and just tweeze a few eyebrow hairs a day and watch tutorials on how people do it.
This isn't necessarily feminine since everyone should do this, but wear a daily face moisturizer with a spf of at least 15 in it.
Wear a lip balm to prevent chapped lips.
Perhaps you live somewhere where it would draw a lot of attention if you shaved your legs, I know I did in the past. I always wanted to try having smooth legs though, so I'd just shave my thighs and trim my pubic hair and wear shorts that covered my shaved thighs.

Also, you're probably not fooling as many people as you think. Girls especially can sense when people are hiding feminine sides of themselves. Be prepared for many inquires about if you're gay.

I think those things are pretty subtle. I'd keep a journal of your thoughts about what triggers your girl feelings in other people and see if you want to try those things.

>>8197457
>wanting to contribute to the overpopulation of the earth so badly
just take hrt already

>>8197794
Thanks for the list. I'm not sure how many of those I could really try without it seeming like a large change to those around me, but it's at least something to go off of.

>you're probably not fooling as many people as you think
I don't know. I've been pretty emotionally distant over the years and I like to think I've become good at masking problems I may be having. There's only a few people who I would say actually know me, or at least a good amount of me. Although not too long ago I did get called out on a unrelated habit that even I didn't realize I was doing, so my paranoia about such things has been ramping up.

>Girls
I think I'm pretty safe on that front for now, as there are not many that I see on a regular basis and we don't have the kind of relationship where we would discuss something like that. I don't think I would have a problem with people thinking I'm just gay, as long as they didn't try to hook me up with their friends or anything.

I'll see about maintaining a journal, but I haven't had a great track record with those in the past.

>>8197958
Not if they're white

Gonna start bica and estrofem when they arrive from inhouse. What should i all get tested in my pre blood test?

>>8197958
Why should I stop myself from growing my family when others will continue and end up having more kids than I would want to have? I almost got carried away talking about how one family wouldn't matter, but then I remembered that this is not the place for political discussions.

I feel like it would be nice to raise the next generation and do my best to ensure they're on a path to success while continuing my family name. For reasons I won't get into, I feel almost as if I'm obligated to have at least one kid.

>>8197197

Is it only because of the liver damage that you can't drink? I drink heavily, 2.5 years hrt, cypro included.
Liver values are perfect it seems? Am I just lucky? Or what's so bad about it.

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>Be 14 year old gay boy
>Like it when called pretty or get mistaken for a girl
>female mannerisms
>dream as a kid was being a mom with a loving husband
>basically they stereotypical trans childhood of all female friends, playing with dolls instead of trucks, ECT
>despise body hair and don't want to gain muscle
>always find myself associating myself with women more
>"well maybe I'm just a feminine cis guy is all"
>years later
>"okay well maybe ill take hrt but I'm still a femboy"

What the fuck is wrong with me (beside the obvious), why did I deny when I was 14 and how can I stop myself from making it even worse for myself?

Is it possible to be muscle fit and pass as a girl

>tall as hell
>shoulders broad as fuck
>completely fill up an ordinary doorway
>no hips
>hair all over
>caveman brow
>manly face
why shouldn't i just kill myself
hrt isn't gonna fix me
i can't be happy with who i am and i'll never be who i want to be

>>8197794
> if you're just starting to grow facial hair, you can tweeze it.
Never do that. It makes permanent hair removal in the future less effective.

>>8198158
You really didn't deny it, you just grew to realise it later on. Gender identity develops when you age, and actually even at like that at 14 you could have ended up different.

>>8198428
you could just never socially transition but do it medically.

>>8202655
with all due respect, what's the point of that? all of the side effects of HRT just so they can feel better looking in the mirror? not trying to be an ass just wondering

>>8202694

achievment unlocked: you're not trans!

>>8202732
because everyone who transitions does it entirely for themselves and dysphoria has absolutley nothing at all with how male or female the person is seen by society

give me a break, it's not about looking pretty or masculine it's about looking like the gender you see yourself as, if it's not good enough for society it's not good enough for the mirror

>>8202778
That's just HSTS, not genuine dysphoria.

>>8202788
Okay, so now everyone knows you're a troll. Glad you cleared that up.

>>8202788
>HSTS
What does HTTP Strict Transport Security have to do with trans issues?

>>8200873
Umm I tweezed my facial hair and it's so sparse I never had to laser it.

>>8194779
>>8194779
>>8194779
Thoughts?

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>>8182174
Anyone can help me? i'm a boy, but i not like my body, and i wanna be a girl, but i dont have courage to go a psychologist and talk about it, what i do? i'm 20 years old

what's the easiest way to off myself

>>8203898
dont do this

>>8203922
I want to

>>8203934
i try kill myself 3 times but i resist

>>8203934
dont do it, this is bad, how old u are?

>>8202655
I mean that'd help me hate what I see in the mirror a bit less probably
but that wouldn't help it hurt less when i get called sir, or when i have to walk past the women's clothing department at work and see nothing even comes close to my size, or when i get jealous of passing transwomen, or when any woman i date ends up liking me because i'm big and manly.
i'm not the one who's been giving shitposty responses to you tho

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>>8203883
Just do it.

>>8204037
>or when any woman i date ends up liking me because i'm big and manly.
Find a woman who doesn't want that?

>>8203883
look up if there are trans (LGBT) related associations where you live who offer advice or guidance, or another official place where you can find help.

Its more anonymous and less bonding.

>>8204043
i dont have courage to do it
>>8204132
i live in brazil, here people hate gays, my mother too, my father too, i don't know what i can do to be happy here

>>8182174
Wait wait I have a question. That MTF timeline chart. I saw that on an infographic with girl Ranma. It says femboys or people who want to reduce tit growth should take raloxifene and tamoxifen. My question is, does it merely PAUSE tit growth, so you can see if you'll pass from the other effects first, or will you miss the window altogether?

Been contemplating if I'm trans for over a year now and I can't come to an answer. I don't feel suicidally depressed or hate being a man (like hate hate) I feel just off, my only strong dysphoira is body hair. I just feel unhappy but I'm not sure if it's cause I'm trans or something else. I don't know what to do, I feel like I'm just stuck in a loop thinking.

how do i know if i'm trans or just insanely lonely

crossdressing is godly feeling (nonsexual) but my ex was transitioning ftm while we broke up and i'm taking one of her nicknames so idk if i'm just abusing this for some unconscious satisfaction.

i'm masculine looking as fuck, overly masculine because theredpill tier shit i forced myself into as a teen, and i got a deep radio voice. i've thought about going to a lgbt meetup but i'd feel like i'm insulting everybody else by abusing their identity.

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lmk if this is the wrong place to post this. could I ever pass, or would I into buffalo bill mode? I rly wanna be a girl but if that's just not in the cards I'd rather not look like an unholy abomination. bear in mind my voice sounds like http://vocaroo.com/i/s1EPIfMFcW3Q

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White CIS scum here, I came here because something kind of bothers me and im not sure why. Im pretty open minded and accepting of trans, but theres just something about using their pronouns that just bothers me. In most cases I feel uncomfortable using pronouns outside of what they are biologically or what they look like. I kinda cringe seeing people call mtf 'she'. Best I can do is use 'they' pronouns.

>>8205061
being lonely doesn't suddenly create trans feelings. Loneliness creates depression not gender dysphoria.

>>8205145
Your face is round-ish and you have a small forehead which is good. Your problem here is your rather large nose which will need rhinoplasty in the future probably.

>>8189800
not sure if you're still here anon but
"transsexual" is a very specific term and should be avoided unless someone tells you it's okay to use to describe them-- in which case you should only use it for them and very sparingly.

not only does it separate trans folx into transitioned/transitioning/neither it's also been used as a slur in the same way that "homosexual" has. the only people I've heard intentionally say -sexual are using it to demonize the population. I'm sure there are a lot of other reasons but in general most of the trans community has rejected it

looking for input on my voice!

https://clyp.it/c3zyvrfm

about half a year of messing around with it. bullying is ok!

How do you name yourself?

>>8206621
I for myself are at the very beginning of training my voice but I try to give feedback nonetheless.

Your melody sounds very forced. Its like fast-slow-fast-slow...., like riding about hills. I can tell its very hard and straining for you to speak like this.
It doesnt sound like a girl voice yet, maybe because it sounds so artificial, or of other reasons? I dont know.

>>8205233
I hear you. I'm mtf and I have people use male pronouns because I don't pass yet.

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I don't know if this is the right place to post this, but I'm gonna ask anyway since I'm at the end of my rope here.
So I need help deciding what to do, I've finally had to come to terms with admitting I'm trans, and my next logical step is seeing a therapist. I have one I use to see up until about a year ago for various other reasons but I stopped going for selfish reasons, she was a awesome therapist and even told me once she also saw a lot of transgender clients, and she has a history with me and I feel like she'd know me well enough to know I'm being serious, but I feel like I can't get over that awkward first call to her in over a year, and I feel weird going back after sorta going AWOL on her. Now I don't really have many therapist in my area, and certainly not many lgbt friendly ones. So I guess my question here is how do I force myself to talk to my old therapist again or do I just try to search for a different one elsewhere?
I've been beating myself up over this for over a month now and feel completely horrible as more time ticks away every day.

>>8207581
Being an adult means to take responsibility for your action but everyone makes mistakes. If you take responsibility for your's you deserve a second chance. I mean, you basicly did this with your post, now tell her.
As far as I know, a therapy needs mutual trust, so dont damage it again by going AWOL.
I'd say call her, and see how it goes. You are her patient, not her bf, so she shouldnt have personal anger or something similar towards you.

>>8205233
you have probably called an ftm 'he' or an mtf 'she' without knowing it, because passing is a thing
don't worry about it, just call those who look like women, 'she' and those who look like men 'he' and it will work itself out

Is there any way for me to take HRT but delay breast growth until I'm sure my face will work out? I'm...ok...at passing but I couldn't live stick in the middle. I keep seeing that chart with Ranma but it doesn't tell me if those 2 breast blockers are permanent or temporary. Pls help ;_;

>tfw 22 and four months into wondering if I'm trans or not (mtf).

I've always kinda denied/refused to talk about "girly/gay" things, and I know damn well that even if I transitioned, I'd be a tomboy lesbian/asexual. But at the same time I feel like I'd hate myself less as a big (bones more than fat, but the fat needs work too) tomboy lesbian than a big dude.

Was anybody else's dysphoria triggered directly by sex with a woman? I always just thought I was a mostly hetero guy with social anxiety, low self esteem and a sissy fetish. 'Trans' never crossed my mind ever. Finally lost by virginity (age 26) a couple of months ago to a fucking hot girl and it didn't go as I thought. Something felt inherently wrong and I was strangely averse to having my dick touched. Having said that when I did get hard enough to fuck pussy felt good.

Since the brief relationship ended though I've been a mess of anxiety and depression. The thought 'Am I trans' hit me soon after and I've had fucking horrific mental and physical dysphoria ever since. 24/7. Really fucking wish I was still a virgin.

>>8208863
Hey anon I can sort of relate to this, at least on the sex aspect so you aren't alone there, I wouldn't say mine got triggered directly by sex with a woman, but I know that I was completely disgusted by the act itself, and myself and body afterward for years and still have huge hangups with sex, and too wish I was still a virgin.
Are you attracted to men at all, anon?

>>8209365
Only in the context of humiliation sissy fantasias. Don't really find myself checking them out IRL.

Still jerk off to straight porn imagining myself as the guy in amongst the sissy stuff. So fucking confused about who I am right now.

>>8208648
No. HRT is all or nothing, you don't get to pick and choose.

>>8209421
Unless you use selective oestrogen receptor modulators, which activate most oestrogen receptors but not in the breasts.

>>8208648
As far as I know their effects aren't very well understood, so maybe they're permanent, maybe not. You'd be better off asking in the HRT general.

>I'm...ok...at passing but I couldn't live stick in the middle
Do you think you'll be happier as a super-masculine man you'll become if you don't take HRT? It doen't just make you more feminine but also stops you getting more masculine (which is half the point). Some people are okay, but many others feel the way you do only before they realise just how bad their body is getting, and then regret letting it happen. Perhaps you shouldn't think of not-quite-passing not so much as "in-between" but more "less bad".

If you're already "ok" at passing without HRT (or with such little time on HRT, if you have started already), then it's likely you'll pass well once you've been on it for a while.

>have friend who's also trans
>she's beautiful and in a loving, long-term relationship with the girlfriend she met before transitioning
>i'm a massive ugly troll who has no hope in hell of ever passing
>she's a wonderful person but every interaction i have with her makes me insanely jealous
how the fuck am I supposed to get over this

So I am going to try to post here before I make new thread. So im currently on a super low dosage of spiro, due to potassium problems. I really want to switch t-blockers naturally, but I'm in the US so Cypro is out, any recommendations?

>>8211510
Sex the boyfriend

>>8211857
Maybe??? I'd advise you to stop posting this selfie here unless ya got a better lookin' one on hand, bucko. I'm tired of seeing it.

>>8211510
become a pretty transgirl yourself

>>8211548
bicalutimide, although expensive.

Anyone here epilating their legs? My routine is warm shower, exfoliation, drying with a towel, then epilating, showering again, and then using some after shave stuff (which slightly worked the first time I tried it, its used for ingrown hairs and contains alcohol of some kind). I also apply lots of lotion. The problem is that I still get red pores (or maybe red hair follicles or whatever) which is very visible. This was never a problem before HRT (spiro + progy), but my skin has gotten really sensitive. It became even worse after I doubled the estrogen dosage. Do stuff like witch hazel work? Anyone have a good routine for sensitive skin?

>>8213539
how do you epilate (epilator, wax, sugar, IPL)? I currently use a mix of sugar an epilator and have red spots as well, which wont last that long though.
After epilating my chest a few days ago it looked horrible for days. Red spots everywhere, small pimples etc. Its still healing.
My guess against ingrown hair is, keepign the area clean, removing dirt and sweat regulary, regular exfoliating and keeping the skin moistured to avoid blocked pores, more over when the hairs regrow.
I mostly get ingrown or "ongrown" hairs at places where something presses against the skin. Tight clothes, arms on desk (computer) etc.

>>8213909
Epilator. The problem is that they stay for weeks. Almost no bumps. Only red pore looking things. Could spiro be causing this? Because of the diuretic/dehydrating effects? It was always super easy to get ok legs before I started HRT.

Hey guys, just realised I was repressing that I'm actually trans ( it's was more of a build up to a eureka moment) I'm feeling pretty overwhelmed right now. Looking back at life there's a million and one warning signs. Where can I go to just talk to someone about this. I can't go to family, and I've cut ties with friends due to what I thought was just a normal depression.

>>8217463
18 y/o MTF living in England if that makes any difference

>>8217463
>>8217470
-> >>8204132
I can only speak for my city, but some associations may have a small community that meets regulary or you can get contact to other thrans people in your city.

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>>8214230
I get the same
Aloe vera seems to help. Try getting something that is pure aloe vera (I use pic related, from boots). It's a good moisturizer and it also kills bacteria and keeps your pores/hair follicles clean. Also don't apply alcohol on epilated skin and try to avoid showering for a few hours. Your skin is very sensitive after epilating so you have to treat it kindly.

Is it normal for dysphoria to appear/disappear and give me massive mood swings? It goes from "I think looking like a girl would be nice and better than how I look now, but I am too afraid to transition" to "if I don't transition today I will kill myself". It's gotten to the point where I'm thinking I might be bipolar or something.

This seems like a more appropriate thread to post this, so reposting.

I am a 100% straight male who never had any kind of gender dysphoria growing up. Funnily enough the only body dysphoria I could be said to have is related to thinking my face is not masculine enough, of all things. I don't think I am trans because I am comfortable enough living as I am, and while I've got plenty of problems, gender dysphoria is not really one of them.

And yet, I still want to be a girl for some reason. Thinking about it gives me a pretty comfy feeling, and it somehow feels more appropriate, but I don't have the feeling that I'm "supposed' to be a girl, if that makes sense. I don't have this feeling that trans people seem to have like I'm in the wrong body.

It's not a sexual thing either. I've read a bit about this AGP thing, and there is no part of the idea of having a female body that I fetishize, so that can't be it. I am moderately into girls love type of shit, and while explicit stuff can turn me on (seems kind of obvious being a male), I don't really go for explicit stuff to begin with, as far as the girls love thing goes, it kind of interests me more from a emotional aspect. When I'm fapping it's not the sort of thing I'd go for, so the interest in it does confuse me a bit.

I honestly don't think I am trans and have basically zero interest in transitioning as it currently exists. That being said, if there was some kind of contrived method, whether magic or future tech that doesn't yet exist, or whatever the fuck else that would transform me into a girl with appearance of my choosing, I would most likely do it.

Idk if this situation is common or not, but I have no idea what the fuck is wrong with me basically. Appreciate any input.

How long are you hairless after you epilate? I'm pre hrt and have thick body hair, just curious about if it's worth it for me to buy one.

>>8220066
for me: not very long until stubles grow back but this is supported by hairs that where to short to be catched the first time. For me it takes like 2-3 weeks(?) until the epilated hairs come back. I have lots of thick dark hair.

I dont now where you live but here in germany Braun has a 100 days satisfied or money back garanty. Dont know about other manufacturers.

If its about money you could try sugaring. You can cook it yourself with sugar and lemonjuice. With the right technique its way less painfull than an epilator imo.

is it possible to get decent SRS results if you got an orchi before?
If yes, which doctors would be able to do that?

(cypro stopped working after 2.5 years, my T is increasing, and I have to stop it quickly.)

>>8221440
its more about the technique they use than the doctor. They make the incision somewhere else if you still want srs or something.

>>8222079
>its more about the technique they use than the doctor. They make the incision somewhere else if you still want srs or something.

would you happen to know where the incision needs to be, or how it's called? I really really doubt doctors in my country have a clue about specific types of orchies for transwomen

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>told myself that I would deal with being trans
>always read about trannies trying to repress and going to college and then dropping out because they couldn't deal with being trans
>about to finish 2nd year of college
>grades are shitty because I just can't care about anything anymore
>spend all my time thinking of suicide and wishing I was a girl and wasn't a faggot


i don't want to be a tranny, I'd rather die than have anyone know but I'm scared to die and I'm equally or more scared of being trans

i don't really know what to do

>>8221440
how can it keep increasing when you had an orchi?
what the fuck my man

>>8222321

I recommend you reading the last line in ( )
I have to get an orchi asap, not srs.

>>8222331
oh yeah you're right, sorry

>>8221440
AA's can stop working....? not even with an increase in dose?

>>8222301
Schedule an appointment with a school therapist to talk about it. Tell them what you wrote here and they'll try to help you.

>>8222349

I started with 50mg for like, 6 months, they put my testosterone on 1.3 nmol/l.
So I was put on 25mg, which still made it lower to 0.3nmol/. so there was a decrease in T levels, even after reducing the dose.
half a year later it went on 1.3nmol/l
So I upped my Cypro to 37.5mg
Another half year passed, and I'm now at 2.4nmol/l and it probably will rise further.
trying to combat it with 50mg now, but still, I'm done, going to get an orchi.

>>8182174
'm sick of this shazing bullshit. WHAT THE FUCK do I have to do to get a good shave? I'm losing my fucking mind, I'm almost at the point of just dropping everything and searching my city for a safety razor.

>>8222376

forgot to say it stayed at 1.3nmo/l for about a year on 37.5mg.
sorry timespans are vaguely guessed,all happened more or less in 2.5 years tho

Will test make me hornier?

>>8222391
Generally, yes. For me, it also changed how fast I got aroused before T it took a while, after T I felt like a teenage boy anything would set me off. It also changed how I orgasm in that it's easier than it was before but not quite as intense.

>>8222409
Are there any stories about this? I'd like to read more.

>>8185286
Oh well better enjoy myself while it lasts I guess

I'm a repressing stubborn asshole in denial. I'm stressed and anxious all the time and I'm also depressed and losing concentration along with many other not as invasive issues. Please help convince me to finally go see the free school therapist tomorrow.

>>8224790
if you don't your depression wil make you suicidal eventually. Better fix it now before it's too late.

>>8222409

Women don't get that refractory period where the libido takes a nose dive for like 30 minutes, I'm curious about you, do you get this reverse high after coming now that you're on T?

>>8225980
Will mtf on hrt with neovag still get the refractoy period?

>>8220027
>I don't think I am trans
>I still want to be a girl
you're trans

>>8226364
no

>>8226364
even without a vag and on hrt removes the refractory period

>>8227981
>>8228762
thats awesome news!

>>8226364
IIRC the refractory period is caused by the action of ejaculating. It's separate from orgasm and hormones and whether the arousal is male or female. HRT eventually stops ejaculation, so from then on there's no refractory period for your penile orgasms. Even without HRT a male can get around the refractory period by orgasming without ejaculating thanks to keagles.

>>8225960
I was too tired from not sleeping much and couldn't bring myself to walk over. There's always next week right?
>tfw I'll be saying that every week until I graduate and can no longer access their services

How much does having a baby face help when transitioning, I'm 18 but I still look like I'm 12, how much is that going to help or hurt? I'm very hairy as well how is that going to work out, still questioning but I need answers and help here.

Is my E too high? It was at 1300pmol at my latest blood test.

Question, I'm trying to figure out if I'm mtf. I don't dislike being male most of the time, but I really like it when people call me a girl. Does disliking your current gender matter more than liking the thought of being the opposite or vice versa? I know it's different for everyone, but just in general

>>8192610
>>8193356
took me about a year as well

>>8193356
>>8231239
I'm almost 23 and know I've missed the optimal window for HRT. I've only started seriously wondering if I'm trans a few months ago, although I'm still avoiding the question by deflecting any and all emotional problems onto external life events.

Is there still hope that I could pass if these feelings turn out to be true in a year?

>>8230798
yeah, that's way too high. Those levels would only make sense if you were a pregnant woman.

Is it ok to be AGP and still transition? How do I know if this is just a fetish and I will regret it once my libido goes down due to the hormones? Or are my erections when imagining myself as a woman/ dressing as a woman just a side effect of spending a whole puberty masturbating as if I was a girl?

tldr am I AGP who will regret transition or just a normal trans woman who developed a pavlovian reaction due to pleasuring myself too much?


Also I kind of lose the "transgender feelings" for 5 minutes after coming.

I hate being like this, I feel like a fraud and not really trans even though I can't take it off my mind. I turned 20 last month.

>>8232031
Do you want to live as a woman? If so, why? For how long have you wanted this? Do *you* feel the desire is merely sexual in nature?
Do you experience dysphoria? If so, since when?
When did you first start experiencing these sexual fantasies? How did they develop over time?

>Do you want to live as a woman?

Yes

>If so, why?

Women are cute and I want to be cute too. Also want to wear women's clothing and have the body of a woman. I want to be able to use woman mannerisms without it looking weird.

> For how long have you wanted this?

Start of puberty, never acted feminine though, even though I wouldn't mind playing with girls if not for the fact that boys would bully me for it. I liked male activities though.

> Do *you* feel the desire is merely sexual in nature?

Mostly sexual, but no, not only sexual.


> Do you experience dysphoria?

Does being anxious all the time and not liking the fact that I'll always be a man count?

>If so, since when?

Don't know if started with dysphoria but I do feel worse as the time goes.

>When did you first start experiencing these sexual fantasies?

As soon as I learned about transgender people.

>How did they develop over time?

Started with imagining what if I had a vagina to what if I was a girl all the time and it sounding good to me.
----------


What's my diagnosis doc?

>>8232031
https://sillyolme.wordpress.com/faq-on-the-science/

>>8232404
>sillyagpme

>>8232404

I'm AGP then.

So that means I should just kill myself, ok.

>>8232453
wtf why

>>8232480
If I'm AGP this is just a fetish caused by male libido.


If it's a fetish caused by male libido I will stop wanting it after starting HRT


If I don't go through with HRT because I don't want it anymore I'll be back on male libido.

>AGP again
>Feeling like shit again


Tell me, why even live like this?

>>8232512
to enjoy your agp!

>>8232512
Do you experience dysphoria? If yes, agp dying won't make you want to go back. No? Well, embrace the fetish I guess.

>>8232519
If I didn't have dysphoria I would be content with crossdressing. Last time I dressed as a woman I cried.

>>8230798

High, but better than too low. I'm at weekly injections of 5g only nd get 5000pmol, decreasing to 400 by the end of the week

>>8232650
5ml E * not 5g heh, sorry.
Anyways you shouldnt worry so much, all that happened to me (with 4 times your level) is that im getting fat, even while barely eating. Long time there's cancer risk tho

>>8232396
Okay, sorry but I honestly can't make heads or tails of you. You miiiiiiight be trans? The >Why? answer doesn't sound like it is dysphoria-related but on the other hand you mentioned wanting this since puberty, being anxious about being a man and crying while cross-dressing. Is going to see a therapist an option for you?

P.S. disregard that sillyolme link it's a meme

>>8232695
The why answer was kind of a joke and not all the reasons. I just didn't want to give you an "I don't know", but it's true that I don't know why I want to be feminine and female.


I am going to see a therapist next Friday, it was my mother who talked to him today and she told me "from what I told him he said you're not like that and can be cured"


Aka It's not gonna matter because the therapist already decided I'm not trans.

>>8232695
>P.S. disregard that sillyolme link it's a meme

>>8232745
>The why answer was kind of a joke and not all the reasons. I just didn't want to give you an "I don't know", but it's true that I don't know why I want to be feminine and female.
Well, what IS the reason, to the best of your knowledge? In what ways would your life be better? Can you please describe this "anxiety" you spoke of earlier? How it manifests and when?

>can be cured
Red fucking alert. Do you live with your mother or are reliant on her? Can you somehow find another therapist? Not to alarm you but that sounds like something someone who believes in conversion therapy might say.

>>8232770

>Well, what IS the reason, to the best of your knowledge? In what ways would your life be better? Can you please describe this "anxiety" you spoke of earlier? How it manifests and when?

I would rather be maam'd than sir'd when doing casual things, when I am sir'd I feel bad because I don't like it for some reason. My life would be better in the sense that I wouldn't be thinking about this all the time, which would be awesome since this takes 90% of my mental energy. About the anxiety it's when I think that I'm losing time and I'm afraid that if I don't transition now I will later and not have a chance at passing. I also sometimes feel like the person in the mirror isn't me, I'm frustrated that I'm growing more and more masculine, I long for my body to have female features and my anxiety derives from all that.


>can be cured
>Red fucking alert. Do you live with your mother or are reliant on her? Can you somehow find another therapist? Not to alarm you but that sounds like something someone who believes in conversion therapy might say.


My mother is a doctor (childbirth and maternity specialization) and accepting, she has said many times before that she wouldn't care if any of her children were gay or lesbian. She said herself that she doesn't know anything about transsexuality so I do believe that she will change once she gets educated. It's not a concern, she won't kick me out of the house.

>>8232745
>I am going to see a therapist next Friday, it was my mother who talked to him today
Does he have experience with transgender people? Did you pick him yourself, or was it your mother's call?

>>8232818
Much of that sounds like dysphoria, through a more abstract sort. Not to push the point but why didn't you write about this earlier? Discomfort at being male consuming 90% of your mental energy sounds immensely trans in particular. Changing diagnosis to "prooooooobably trans?" but you should still see a therapist if you can do so quickly IMO.

>My mother is a doctor (childbirth and maternity specialization) and accepting, she has said many times before that she wouldn't care if any of her children were gay or lesbian. She said herself that she doesn't know anything about transsexuality so I do believe that she will change once she gets educated. It's not a concern, she won't kick me out of the house.
Okay Anon. What are you going to do about the therapist then?

>>8232841
> Does he have experience with transgender people? Did you pick him yourself, or was it your mother's call?

I asked a nurse friend and my mother talked to him instead of me because I was out for the city today.

He's young and has some experience on the matter.

>>8232862
I didn't say that at the time because I didn't know how to put it to words. Maybe I needed the right question to open up?


About the therapist, I'm gonna go next Friday as I said, I am not sure I understood your question.


Also, for you, how would you answer your own questions? Maybe I can see myself in some of your answers.

>>8232553
Transition you dumbass, AGP is a meme that only exists on this board, and by the looks of this thread it's gotten worse to the point that people actually believe in AGP vs HSTE and that AGP makes you not trans, even when you experience dysphoria.

Anyone who is still questioning and unsure of yourself, I highly recommend leaving this website and going to the Reddit communities, they actually give a shit about helping you rather than using you as a stepping stone to feel better about themselves.

>>8232971
>I highly recommend leaving this website and going to the Reddit communities, they actually give a shit about helping you rather than using you as a stepping stone to feel better about themselves.
What a sad state of affairs.

>>8232971
>AGP is a meme that only exists on this board,
>I highly recommend leaving this website and going to the Reddit communities, they actually give a shit about helping you rather than using you as a stepping stone to feel better about themselves.

>>8232979
Do you agree with the guy you replied to?

Btw I kind of prefer this community, I'm pragmatic and dislike hugboxing. Reddit is full of "ye yer trans totally" and "OMG so cute you pass xD" for my tastes.


I'm not an autist like most of you but I am also mentally ill :^)

>>8233005
>Do you agree with the guy you replied to?
That's what I was implying, yeah.
>Btw I kind of prefer this community, I'm pragmatic and dislike hugboxing.
I'd agree if we were talking about /lgbt/ from few months ago, but it got significantly worse since Trent came and converted few loud people to blanchardianism.

>>8232971

>Transition you dumbass, AGP is a meme

I will finally accept myself and go through with the pain of it all once anyone convinces me why it is normal to have an erection every time I think of myself as a woman, or dress like a woman.

I hate the fact that I get erections, I don't even get horny, it's fucking annoying and discouraging.

I got close to someone, very close, and he became my boyfriend - and I feel incredibly lucky to have him. But at the same as I'm sort of being dragged out of my years of being emotionally dead from anxiously isolating and numbing myself, my synapses are firing more, I'm recalling more of my life, and how I feel, and I think I'm trans. I'm remembering all these repressed things from my teens, the failed therapy - thoughts and feelings I never acted on, fighting not to speak or act on it because I was scared, and it makes my heart feel kind of heavy but at the same time things are making more sense the more I think about it. I don't want to hurt my boyfriend, I've talked about it with him before and he says he'll support me, I know he will no matter what but I know it makes him anxious. He wants me to have a dick, he likes dick y'know? I'm in such an ugly position, he means so much to me emotionally.

I don't want to feel like this but it feels like it's the only way my brain works unless I just completely shut myself down. Part of me wants HRT, another part of me wants a magical way out. Wishing I had never been born right now.

Someone please show me how I'm mistaken. I don't know why I'm asking for some kind of proof, I already know I'm fucked. I just want to keep being a coward. I won't be able to pass. I should have just stayed in my slump til I had the nerve to end it.

I'll check back later but I need to calm down right now and have a nap.

>>8233104
>I will finally accept myself and go through with the pain of it all once anyone convinces me why it is normal to have an erection every time I think of myself as a woman, or dress like a woman.
It's a bit (okay very) long-winded but consider the argument in this post chain:
>>8220887

>>8233030
>wahh why do people believe something i don't
I recommend you try tumblr and reddit for all your hugboxing needs.

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this discord is a great place to have supportive helpful tran community
>https://discord.gg/ywkrX7c
come here if u want, srry to shill

>>8233104
It's normal in the sense that it happens to some people, and doesn't invalidate your gender dysphoria. AGP and gender dysphoria are comorbid; they exist together and are related, but ultimately independent.

I deliberated over transitioning for years because of being AGP (after more time spent denying it). I can relate to a lot of what you've been saying. In the end I just gave in to the realisation that it wasn't going to get any better on its own and started HRT, and I'm much happier now (if still with a long way to go in transitioning, and a long time before I'll be truly happy, if I ever will be since I wasted too much time for my body to be feminine, which I regret deeply).

Look at it this way: despite sexuality being involved, the reason you're dysphoric is non-sexual. You're not crying when you wear women's clothing because it turns you on. Fetishes don't make you feel this bad all the time about not fulfilling them. Obsessed in the worst cases maybe, but not persistently and seriously dysphoric.

The fact that it sort of (not even completely, by the way) goes away for 5 minutes after coming is more complicated than you just not wanting sex so you don't want trans stuff; orgasm causes a feeling of relaxation and provides a distraction from the dysphoria. The fact that you feel temporarily better and it's briefly not on your mind doesn't mean you're actually okay with being male. Dysphoria commonly varies in intensity anyway, sometimes going away entirely for a brief periods.

There are very few AGPs who claim they regretted the changes from HRT once it stopped turning them on with the reduction in sex drive from HRT (and all the ones I've seen transitioned for sexual reasons, which is different to for dysphoria), while many AGPs report that the AGP goes away with transition as being female becomes a normal part of their lives.

It's not like sex drive vanishes with HRT anyway. Even if sex was your only motivation it would probably still remain.

>too scared, transition isn't an option
>can't stand living anymore as a guy, life is basically going nowhere

I don't think I can continue living the way things are now but nothing will make me feel any better because I can never be a girl.

The only logical thing is suicide since I can't stand continuing how I am and I can't transition (too scared etc and other reasons).

>>8233840
Good post.

How do I make my voice more feminine in conjunction with voice lessons? Is that even possible?

>>8222383
Safety razor is GOAT and works extremely well for body hair in general.

>>8222391
Yes, you'll notice it will increase but it will calm down over time. It's like going through puberty all over again.

Sorry to ask a question that's asked often, but how long does it take for packages from qhi to ship?

The doc at the informed consent clinic started me on 100 mg of spiro (one 50 in the morning and one at night) and .1 mg patches of Estradiol (two each week). Does that sound right?

Is it possible for HRT to actually give me a sex drive?

>>8236124
According to the head of clinical studies at Howard Brown, yes. In fact, it can.

>>8236822
I see. I'm not on HRT but I have basically no sexual interest unless my boyfriend initiates when we're being affectionate, and using my dick isn't very satisfying. Sex is not a huge deal to me but I still feel like I'm lacking in terms of sexual identity. I guess I'll be happy if hormones can round me out in that regard, but I don't know if I'll have to guinea pig myself with trying different pills or if there's some go-to for this.

>>8235349
3-5 weeks

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>>8182174
The therapists section only covers america, any help for a Eurohon?

Just got my first appointment next Sunday with the gatekeepers, wish me luck anons

>>8234028
Well your between a rock and a hard place, and theyre going to keep squeezing until one wins, or you pop. Now your reasons I cant guess (scared, jesus christ I know that feel we all have thats why any LGBT community exists.) but your going to have to size your reasons with your wanting to be trans. Suicide, yeah its logical. But logic sinks where desire swims, nothing about being trans is logical, but we do it anyway. Sometimes you have to roll the dice, if you get the wrong number you can opt out anyways. Now its a vague reply but I dont know your problems, they might be solveable they might not. But your life and happiness are up against them, hope they win anon. I hope this helped somewhat and forgive my rambling. Hope you find happiness with some means <3

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Does anyone elses trans feels wane sometimes?
For as long as watching a film etc. or a couple of days. Not so much as I`ll feel like and be comforatable being a guy more so I just dont think about trans (like not coming across triggers etc.)
I`m really self consciencous about being perceived as or even actually being a trans-trender. I dont think I am but Im obssessing over it and being paranoid and would appreciate other peoples opinions and experiences, Im new to this if you couldnt tell.
Sorry for incoherency, appreciate answers. Thanks anons :)

Lets say I'm not ready to commit to transitioning, physically or socially. Would crossdressing and acting like a woman at home and online potentially make me feel better or worse (since I would then be hiding something I do at home in addition to my inner feelings)?

>>8241267
I'm planning on presenting male until I fail, I change as soon as I get home though.

It makes me feel better at least

Is this good for voice training?

http://www.genderlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/voicebook020.pdf

>>8241253
Happens to everyone to some extent, for really any problem, not just being trans. You can't expect your feelings to stay at the exact same level and consume the exact same amount of attention all the time.

>I`m really self consciencous about being perceived as or even actually being a trans-trender. I dont think I am but Im obssessing over it and being paranoid and would appreciate other peoples opinions and experiences, Im new to this if you couldnt tell.
The fact that you actually have dysphoria and think critically about whether or not you're trans pretty much disqualifies you from being a trender immediately. Believe me, you will probably be very paranoid for a long time regardless of the amount of evidence in favour of transition being a good idea for you, and exaggerate every single doubt while downplaying the definitive signs of being trans. It's best to just go ahead with things. Do things like shaving your body hair and see if you feel better, then eventually move on to taking HRT, and just keep going. If nothing feels really wrong (even if the doubts remain) it's probably okay. Unfortunately you can't be too sure emotionally, even if logically you know you must be right.

>>8240029
Europe has specialised clinics where you can go for your gender dysphoria. Actual private gender therapists do not really exist in Europe.

>>8245582
Totally depends on a country.

>>8244234
Thanks for taking the time out to write that anon I really appreicate it. Made me feel a lot better But honestly great points that make a lot of sense.
Cheers

1) After your first shot of T, how often do you HAVE to get bloodwork done?

2) I feel like my GYN is trying to force me to come back for more than one shot, can I just have my FtM friend of 3 years teach me how to give myself a shot? Do I HAVE to go back? I'm being charged too much to return every time.

3) how do I get more T if I decide not to go back to the GYN when my T is out? Just call for another check up 3 months later? I think that's when my supply is up.

I'm sorry for stupid questions... I'm just poor as fuck and new at this. But I have my T, but I don't want to be too stupid. I'm very antsy at getting my first shot, but I feel like I should be smart and at least let the nurse do the first dosage on my next appointment.

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>manface
>huge shoulders
>huge ribcage
>tiny hips
>yadda yadda yadda
>want to take HRT just to make things better even though I can never ever pass
>that will make finding someone go from hard to nigh impossible
>won't even make me happy with my body, less unhappy at best
>forbidden to get a vagina unless I hon up and make a fool of myself for years
I want to kill myself and everyone else.

>>8244234
Thank you for this.

>>8241253
Some days I don't think about being trans at all. Others I think about it all day. Most of the time when I don't think about it it's because I'm busy or distracting myself.

So I've been questioning if I was trans or not for like 8 years now since I first figured out being trans is a thing. I'm sure I'm trans as normal people wont question if they are trans for 8 years. I also hate looking at myself in the mirror and I honestly envy girls. I don't know if my general sense of I hate myself and I want to die is depression or dysphoria or both. It's been getting worse every single year too. I went from being 10 and thinking I would rather be a girl to being 23 and thinking about wanting to be a girl almost all day everyday. So I'm pretty sure I'm trans and I've even accepted it a few times and almost transitioned but whenever I get close to actually transitioning doubt just overwhelms me. It sucks that I'm getting older too I feel like I really need to transition soon or it will be too late. I do think with some work I could still pass since I'm 5'10 with a pretty andro face but I just can't even accept I'm trans and I'm too afraid to transition even when I get close. So I'm probably trans right? How do you work up the courage to actually transition? I accepted I was trans a few times and almost transitioned but backed out and went into repression. One time when I was 18 I literally sat in my room for about 12 hours straight thinking about how I would tell my mother I was trans. I finally walked over to her to tell her and my mind went blank I didn't say anything and walked away. After that I convinced myself I needed to man up. I started lifting weights and doing typical repression things for a few years needless to say it didn't work. Then a few months ago I wanted to call the informed consent clinic to get hormones but I just couldn't do it. I convinced myself I would look like shit it wouldn't be worth it and it would ruin my life. I just really wish I could finally transition and get it over with but I'm just too afraid even though I feel like eventually I'm either going to kill myself or transition.

>>8248932
Get a better relationship with your parents
Tell them "I want to tell you something you might not like". Tell them you're not feeling well. Ask them if they love you. See how they react.

>>8249262
>>8248932
Also
Have you seen a therapist yet? They can give you anti-depressants, they can help you feel more sure in your choice to transition, they can help you come out to your parents (you can bring your parents to the therapist and explain what being trans means with your therapist, which makes it less terrifying and more legitimate)

>>8246472
What do you want us to do about it?

>trans help general

free tip: get a lobotomy

Is it possible if I work out enough, that my dysphoria will go away?

>>8250189
get raped

>>8250241
maybe
everything is possible
if you want to make dysphoria go away for sure 100% then follow this tip: >>8250189
or alternatively you could transition

I came out recently. Stuff is okay. Going to be a while to see a gender therapist tho.

>>8249262
Thing is I don't even have a bad relationship with my parents. Well at least with my mom shes always concerned about me and tells me she will love me no matter what. Although I've read plenty of horror stories where people that have "parents that love them" end up hating them.

>>8249272
I haven't been to a therapist in years. Anti depressants probably would help but I don't know. As far as being trans goes I have a really hard time actually telling people I'm trans or anything about me questioning my gender. Like last time I saw a therapist I didn't mention anything about being trans even though I knew what it was and it was really bothering me at that time.

When does your jaw/chin stop growing? I'm 20 not on hrt yet and afraid my jaws getting bigger

MTF, how did you find a place to do laser. I emailed one place through their Web page and left a phone message with a receptionist at another. Didn't say I was trans, just that I have a lot of irritation shaving (which is true). Neither have contacted me back though. Should I try again or try elsewhere?

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>live in argentina
>SRS, orchi and ALL kind of surgeries related to genitals are free if diagnosed trans
>I don't need any of them, I just want VFS or FFS
>too bad hon :)

>>8251880
>wants to keep penis and balls
you are truly a hon

>>8251880
I don't understand that shit. Like SRS is nice but nigga idgaf if I have a vagina if I look like Chad. The free orchi is really nice though.

>>8251907
Not that girl but extreme fear of surgery and horror stories about fake vagina problems are a thing. I think I could tolerate a shriveled dick as an alternative.

>>8251907
I'm gonna get the orchi. But still pretty much this >>8251915

>>8251951
>>I don't need any of them
>I'm gonna get the orchi
contradictory

>>8251963
I don't NEED it. As opposed to VFS and FFS.

>>8252005
>not needing srs or orchi
i guess you planned to be on aa forever
not really viable, so you do need the orchi

>>8252024
I don't need paid orchi because it can wait. I can't pass without FFS and VFS, those are what I need.

>>8252046
To be honest it's not hard to work on your voice. I've kinda been doing the whole voice training thing for years and even though I look like shit I sound like a girl.

>>8252056
I hit my throat very hard once and I lost some vocal cords. Pretty hopeless now.

>>8251907
SRS is Horror from the Deep tier 100% of the time. Everyone says theirs came out perfect but they won't share because "it's private UwU" We all know the truth, every single one that has been revealed is freak show material and there's no reason for every single "good job" to be hidden.

How can I make more trans friends or friends who are well versed in trans subjects? I feel lost and confused a lot of time, and already have very little friends. I'm not talking in person or anything, just over the internet is fine with me. But the lonely nights are really killing me and the few online friends I do have only a couple know I'm trans, and some others would flip out if they knew and so I feel like I can't really talk to anyone about this, I'm going to be going to therapy, but I just wish I had a nice friend who I could relate to without them just sexualizing me and maybe spend some quality time with on the internet. Advice?

>>8252919
>getting genital surgery always means srs

is reverse gender dysphoria a thing? Im a cis male, and I want nothing more than to be a successful male with fulfilling relationships and life, but I have major depression from being abused. When I hit a low, I get the feeling that I don't deserve to be a man, and that I must be a girl/trans. I have crossdressed throughout my life with tons of guilt and shame and suicidal ideation following a dress up/masturbation session

>>8253123
>When I hit a low, I get the feeling that I don't deserve to be a man, and that I must be a girl/trans.

Interesting, this also happens to many trans people, except they feel like it must mean they're actually a member of their birth sex after all, because they "failed" at being a girl (if MtF) or a guy (if FtM). No idea why you would have so much insecurity when you're cis tho

>>8253201

>No idea why you would have so much insecurity when you're cis tho

the sexual abuse probably did it

I've been thinking about my life and my body and how I've had thoughts of being a girl on and off all my life and not really liking my male features. I don't know if it's related to me becoming depressed, socially anxious and sort of giving up on life, I was too scared to talk to my psych about it. I've basically turned into a total shut in. I don't even really like masturbating or anything any more, it's hard for me to get g and sometimes I just imagine I'm a girl and it helps me feel better.

But that doesn't mean I'm trans right? The depression/anxiety could be related to something else? I remember the psychiatrist and me/my parents trying to figure out why I was depressed and losing motivation at school for years and they kind of just gave up, but it doesn't mean I'm trans right? I didn't want to bring it up, and I still don't want to say anything about it... what if I'm wrong? I don't feel like I need any help. I can get over whatever my problem is on my own.

I guess I'm hoping someone here will tell me that no, I'm not trans. My friend tells me I have an inferiority complex too, but fuck him...

I know I should just see a professional but I don't want it to be real. Part of me says it's morally wrong even though I want it. I feel like crying.

>>8254336
>it's hard for me to get g
get off*

I'm not transitioning or anything, but I enjoy my skinny somewhat girlish figure. I'm starting to gain some weight after being a lazy skinnyfat for years. I don't want to become ripped or anything like that, so how do I reduce stomach fat while not bulking up? Should I ask /fit/ instead?

>>8254382
Strict diet and lots of cardio. Work your legs/butt. Drink plenty of water and cut back on garbage.

>>8254390
>Strict diet
>*sips a non-diet soda and eats some pizza*
fug. Thanks for the tips though.

>>8253123
You have a lot more to fix in your life rather than obsess over gender stuff. You need to focus on your bigger problems. Going on hormones won't fix those larger problems. It might distract you from them long enough to push them out of your move for a significant amount of time, but it won't actually address them.

>I went through abuse and became a stronger more goal oriented person after many fuck ups and some weed, alcohol abuse. Took serious introspection, honesty, many mistakes, and even more introspection including paying close attention to thought loops/triggering behavior/thoughts and building up healthy coping mechanisms. I'm not talking out my ass.

>>8254405
Diet soda is also shit and bad for you. Np though I'm sure you'll be extra qt in no time, just do generic fat burning.

>>8254421
>Diet soda is also shit and bad for you.
That's why I don't drink the diet meme. It tastes like shit too.

Thanks for believing in me anon. I'll probably fall off the wagon with any diet but I can do cardio and water.

>>8254336
If you obsess over it, then yeah, it's going to be a reoccurring problem. You seem to be convinced you're trans. You're basically asking people to tell you you're trans.

Thing is, if you're not trans, if you really don't want to be trans, then you'll find a way to address your problems without resorting to focusing on those invasive "I should be a girl" (why girl? You'd be a woman. Not a little girl or girlish thing. That's another issue you need to ponder over.). What triggers those thoughts? Stress? Do those thoughts offer a form of relief/comfort when you experience stress? It might be a maladaptive comfort mechanism. Maladaptive because it doesn't actually focus on the source of your stress or provide a real solution to your problems.

These are things to think about. If you really don't want to feed your thoughts to transition, then look deep into yourself and focus on the strings of thought that lead to those emotions. (I did that type of introspection with weed, but weed bright a whole load of other problems into my life. Weigh your options.)

>>8254440
Well, no one expects a diet to be done absolutely 100% of meals - just push yourself to eat like, lean chicken, very lowfat stuff, and greens/fibers. So long as you're replacing -some- of the unhealthy stuff you're helping yourself, and I promise it'll be tasty if you do it right.

>>8254405
Dum dum. Read some real literature and put in some real effort. You don't want to do that, though, do you? You knew the answer to your question before you even asked it. Some good googling skills and reading the /fit/ sticky, even the reddit ones, would give you good answers. There's some great books based on scientific research that you could find by putting in a little effort, but reading is hard, amiright?

Oh no I'm being aggressive and sarcastic. Sorry. But really bro, just read into it. It's going to take effort to lose weight anyway. Why not start by putting in some effort now?

>>8254452
Thanks again anon.

>>8254461
Are you shitting on me for asking a question instead of doing my own research or are you shitting on me because of the greentext? Both?

>>8254494
Not really shitting on you. I'm just listening to a German song called "Grab US by the Pussy" and it's making me all sarcastic thinking it's funny. Hilarious song by the way. Germans can be pretty funny.

But really man, the main thing with losing weight is learning to be self aware. That's probably the hardest part. You have to pay attention to your actions and assess them. It becomes second nature after a while. Took me a long time, and I still lapsed often. Sometimes I'd take the calorie counting too seriously, sometimes I'd completely lapse. If you get into this, after a while, you'll come to realize that the best method is simple in theory, but it takes effort to make it a solid practice.
>pay attention to what you eat
>keep a running estimate of your calorie intake
>learn to cook decently
This is a big one. You can make really healthy, really tasty food if you know how to season it correctly and cook it well. Ex. not overcooking vegetables.
>make concessions. If you want pizza for dinner, don't eat breakfast and eat a filling, healthy lunch
>slip in some exercise like a 3 mile walk or 8 mile bike ride

Wow suddenly you're lowkey healthy.

>>8254614
>Not really shitting on you.
Maybe I'm just too jaded from the rest of 4chan and got the wrong impression. Thanks for the advice.

>>8254447
No I'm just looking for someone to talk some sense into me. Thanks for responding.
>If you obsess over it, then yeah, it's going to be a reoccurring problem.
I have only been thinking about it seriously the past few days, but I'm aware of this and I'm being conscious of it. I just feel like it's something I should actually talk about for once. I usually am too preoccupied to think about myself much.
>Stress?
I usually just try to find something to chew on for general stress, or some light stretching/fresh air, or breathing exercises. It's not so much a stress thing as it just makes me feel better to think about it in regards to myself. I guess that initial sentence was kind of jumbled - the masturbation and that aspect aren't explicitly linked. I rarely ever masturbate anyway because it's not very fun for me.

Anyway, you've given me something good to think about. Thanks. Although when I said "girl" I didn't literally mean like, teen or whatever. It was nonspecific.

>>8254710
Maybe get a hormone panel done. Could also be a hormonal issue.

>>8254964
Like, a lifelong disorder thing? Because I've sorta felt this bodily unease my whole life. I actually had a lot of blood taken recently from a visit for severe anxiety/vomiting. Would they have checked my hormone levels then, or does that only happen if you request it/they suspect it? I figured they'd look at everything. I dunno. That's also a good suggestion, thank you.

>>8254999
Request it. Full hormone and thyroid panel. If you're American like me, some doctors will only do tests on request and will not listen to you if you imply that you know anything about how the system works. I understand they get a lot of crazies, but getting info or tests out of them can be like pulling teeth.

You never know what might come up if you haven't had one done.

So I saw a therapist today.
And I really struggled to tell them anything. Talking about being trans in real life gives me panic attacks. Also he said I was really vague and he couldn't understand well what I was saying. I don't know what to do. I live in a gatekeeper country so I need his approval for hormones. But it's something I really don't want to talk about. Will it get better as I talk to the therapist more? Any other tips?
/blogpost over

>>8256674
So long as he is bound by confidentiality, you should just be honest, and think about what you want to say beforehand. Write it down if you need to.

>>8256741
Or rehearse it. Dunno.

I know how incredibly hard it can be, especially with the whole gatekeeper prospect. Just remember that no matter what he's basically on your side in that he won't out you, if that's what you're afraid of, it's a safe place. I understand the self doubt, try to be strong. What country do you live in, by the way? If you don't mind me asking?

>>8256759
Italy
I'm not afarid of being outed
It just gives me so much anxiety to speak about being trans
It's strange; I don't mind writing about it but when I have to talk it face to face with someone I have to drag the words out and I start sweating. I had to shower after the appointment because of how much i was sweating.

>>8256908
Well, writing it out, rehearsing it, etc will help you get a better grip on it I think.

>>8257019
Yeah I'll try that
I thought I'd be able to describe my dysphoria pretty well
But I was too nervous and he asked a bunch of weird questions so it didn't go very well

next thread:

>>8258049
>>8258049
>>8258049