/brit/

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sara

GAS
THE
TAIGS
lads

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Cara?

WHO THIS

>>69831553
this makes my willy tingle because I have the exact same bend as that banana

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You are fake news!

KAH

>>69831553
Wish he were my gf

at work a few months ago someone tried to pay 100 pounds and i accidentally charged them 1000 pounds and the payment went through and i haven't anything about it since ahahha

accidentially made my python program infinitely multiply by itself

oops haha

Daniel Johnston is one of the best people on earth. I will be distraught when he dies.

He also proves that despite several mental illnesses and afflictions you can make your dreams come true. We can all learn from him.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JkczI1-be1k

>>69831660
literally one of the easiest problems to fix
have a word with yourself

Does /brit/ have the most reposts on 4chan?

>>69831678
**serves your food on a board**

psh' nothin' personell kid

PSYCHO KILLER

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>>69831639
Don't worry lad, sit back and relax, I got this

>>69831655
>He

Please no

>>69831678
normies...
*shakes my damn head*

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>The future president of the USA is a Russian agent

Howling

>>69831678
"le serve the food on a wooden board" meme is fucking irritating

http://www.spectator.co.uk/2015/08/boastful-narcissistic-overpriced-welcome-to-jamies-italian/

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dyl b's helping, you're shagging him too
that space raider he fucked you
millie, we know its true
so yeah i'm coming for you

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>>69831717

>>69831743
ECSTASY

FA FA FA FA FA FA FA FAR BETTER

rogue one any good lads?

bit late for me to go see it in the cinema? just wait for a hdrip?

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This is me after 1 year of test-e 1,000mg per week, but I'm still a kissless virgin and masturbate 3 times a day haha

should I kms?

>>69831639
nice

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https://www.theguardian.com/science/2017/jan/12/knotty-professors-chemists-break-world-record-to-create-tightest-knot-ever-made

Scientist have made a knot, bravo

Meanwhile god made this 8000 years ago

>qt girl has to show me something in work
>moves the mouse cursor on screen by touching my arm for a second

that's the only female contact i'll have for a while haha

>>69831798
Moot has really sorted himself out since he joined google

>>69831798

bizzaro moot

>>69831678
used to follow @WeWantPlates on the ol' 'witter
good account desu

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>>69831789
It's good, and not just because of Felicity

V > VI > RO > IV > III > VII > I > II

Vader is pure kino in it

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>>69831768
Ah yes, a very important thing to spend time and mental energy being angry about.

>>69831815
got nervous at the thought of that happening to me haha

>>69831582
Their harder stuff was a little too experimental for my tastes

>>69831743
Qu'est-ce que c'est
fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa far better
Run run run run run run run awaaaaay

>>69831798
well
at least Subaru is a good motor company and you know that

>>69831773
what age is she? 16?

>>69831553
>>69831831
stop, already wanked twice today

immigration is a result of British colonialism

>>69831701

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w9cLIKMOMFw

>>69831798
Can't exercise/roid that boring personality away

Girls can smell it a mile off

>>69831784
>ECSTASY
are you daft

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>>69831784
>ECSTASY

Bet you're a twat who thinks that one song goes

IF I WAS GREEN I WOULD DIE indstead of BADA BIDABEE DIE

who /snow/ here

>>69831757
>he doesn't like qt girls (male)

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and you lied on your father's ashes
slating my contour, get some glasses
ye get to specsavers
you sound like you been sucking on a quaver

I can smell the cum caked into my trousers.

>>69831832
>>69831817
I don't look like moot

>>69831884
lmao

>>69831908
Get tons of matches on tinder and girls approach me

>>69831798
>mong americans think you can achieve this after 1 year of test
creasing

>>69831798
404: traps not found

>>69831553
>>69831831
latent bent nonces

The British had colonies all over the world! That means that it's hypocritical of you to not support free movement of people!

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>>69831846
Revenge of the Sith is unironically the best Star Wars film and one of the greatest films ever made

>>69831940
Stop posting pictures you saved from /fit/ you fucking autist

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>>69831553
the gf

think ive got bladder cancer

>>69831768
> Established 2014
Hahaha

>>69831918
I LOVE snow

>>69831798
fucked up proportions desu

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>>69831896
sorry mate, hadn't realised

>>69831961
I lifted for more than year. This is just after one year on test, after alraedy lifting natty for about 2 years

>>69831996
Yeah ok, professor.

>>69831553
>>69831831
anyone remember her name?
she has nudes on motherless if i remember correctly

>>69831993
qt

>>69831940
Did you miss the part where I said personality?

Fucking yanks

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the marble gf

SO LONG GAY BOWSER

Who's the girl in the op you fags

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>>69831911
>>69831917
Now this is embarrassing, I just googled the lyrics.

>>69831993
You can have her if I can have Bilinda

anyone have some good non-brostep dubstep?

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JU-U-U-U-U-UST

>>69831773
Queen if grime

>>69831974
>short hair
>must be boy
are you 14?
>>69832028
her real name?

dilemma: could do with buying 4 grams of coke for the weekend tonight since my guy is about now, 2 for friday and 2 for saturday. but once i go on a binge i literally don't stop until there's nothing left. where can i stash half of it to make sure i can't get to it until saturday?

>>69831988
Never posted in /brit/ in my entire life you paranoid fuck

business idea: un-fluorinated tap water

>>69832033
Any of you lads ever wanked to a statue before? I have.

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>>69832033
my hand raping your gf

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>much obliged

>>69832015
legitimately quite impressive progress for 3 years, even if 1 of them was on test. What does your routine look like?

just wrote a script that turns off my laptop after it's been running for 3 hours and doesn't let me back on for 3 more

will this improve my life?

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>>69832077
>tfw to intelligent too wank

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>>69831993
lesbian porn scene between our Rach' and our Belinda when?

>>69832067
Looks like a literal 13-year-old boy you fucking nonce poofter

>>69832110
what if you are mid wank lad?

>>69832040
you're forgiven, you've learned your lesson x

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>>69831982
Too many cringe moments for that

>There are too many of them, what are we going to do?
>If you are not my friend... then you are my enemy
>It's over Anakin, I have the high ground
>So this is how liberty dies… with thunderous applause
>From my point of view the Jedi are evil!
>Noooooooooooooooooooooo

Too many Lucasims hold it down, but it's still pretty great and the best prequel by an absolute mile

anyone listening to nigel farage on lbc?

it's literally nothing but angry foreigners calling up and calling him racist

wish may would put a firewall on those wogs

>>69832094
Dorian Yates

>>69832046
helter skelter

>>69832110
lol i remember when i was a chronic alcoholic and had to set my pc to shut down automatically at 5am since i passed out in the chair literally every single night

Why do you make great music?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mclNzNyhq4A

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sophie yeah you should stick to singing
cos when you spit my ears are ringing
how can you shag bare lads
is your fanny not stingin
bet your fannys fuckin mingin

>>69831798
you fucked up lad

should have spent that money on fixing your chin

CRAZY MURDERER

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>>69831626
tfw will never be a multi-millionaire just for being beautiful

>>69832067
yeah, or just her internet handle or whatever, or just link the motherless album

>>69832073
haha il hold onto it for you mate

Joined Match.com.

I will die alone. I'll accept it now.

>>69832077
first time I ever came was watching a documentary about fine art with my family. They were talking about how rich men sent eachother paintings and sculptures of nude women

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>>69832157
The Beatles aren't dubstep u dummy xDD

>>69832110
what happens if you're on a bus and someone rings you and says there's a bomb on the bus and the bomb will explode if your laptop turns off

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ah yes, england

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>anyone listening to nigel farage on lbc?

>>69831798
honestly looks uncanny valley to me

>>69832200
We all die alone desu

>>69832214
why would i be using my laptop on the bus

>>69832110
pretty good idea tbf. Is it a bash script? if so mind sharing it?

thinking back to the days i used to take drugs and piss in a candle jar

A death for no reason
And death for no reason is MURDER

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>>69832042
haha go ahead

>>69832239
so the bomb doesn't go off

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>>69832224
But it's no worse than living alone.

>>69832251
when you see it

>>69832217

>Dearlove

State of that surname. Howling!

>>69832140
>>It's over Anakin, I have the high ground
>>So this is how liberty dies… with thunderous applause
>>From my point of view the Jedi are evil!


all great lines

>>69832251
looks like an overweight lad

I bet nova scotia is here isn't he?

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>>69832220
t. wog

>>69832189
WHAT IS IT

>>69832251
>That tampon string

>>69832200
I met my wife on Match.com. My profile said, quote, I am a medical student with only one eye, an awkward social manner, and $145,000 in student loans, end quote.
She wrote back: you’re just what I’ve been looking for. She meant honest…

>>69832217
wot a little legend

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What's for tea lads?

>>69832217
>Hayley White

Definitely a bloody racist

last poo smelt like decaying fish desu

>>69832299
>filename

off you pop back to cripplechan /brit/ poppet

>>69831655
>>69831757
>>69831921

She's a she because of watched porn of her

Or it's a male who's had the most convincing breast and genital reconstruction of all time, but I'm pretty fucking sure it's a she

I believe her name is "kittens". Google "4chan kittens" for results.

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>>69832252
>tfw in sixth form used to smoke weed in my rooms en suite and ended up blocking the toilet so badly I pissed in the sink for a year because I couldn't be arsed to fix it

Christ I was a strange one

>>69832342
Just had a big subway x

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>>69832352
t. wog

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>>69832342
aha bigger melt than smiffy when he thought we were meeting in the White Horse and we were meeting in the White Hart

absolute textbook smiffster the 4 cheese melt

>>69832348
All my poo smells like decaying fish
Makes sense since it's what I eat

>>69832381
seek help

>>69831993
new song is terrible

>>69832348
proxy off icelad

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>yank enters the thread

>>69832381
wheres the willy
wtf?

>>69832381
>getting this defensive
There's nothing wrong with liking boyish girls la calm down

>>69832381
>tampon string

NOT a fan

>>69832381
>taking pictures while on your period

why

>>69832421
not a bad song but production is terrible

>>69832394
>>69832422
P O T T E R Y

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>>69832417

>>69832259
>>69832251
damn, is that all that's left?
she used to have videos with audio and lots of pictures motherless, but i can't find her anymore

>i said it in the post
lad just searching for "mittens" isn't exactly going to give me the results I want

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>>69832381
Disgusting. Have a word with yourself.

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>tfw the watchful eyes of Mummy May kept me safe from terrorism again last night

Thank you Mummy May

14 WHEN I STARTED

SMOKIN
BUD

>>69832247
1 #!/bin/bash$
2 time=$(uptime | sed -e 's/^.*up\ *\|:..,.*$//g' | sed -e 's/[0-9]*\ min.*$/0/')$
3 echo $time$
4 if [ $time -gt 2 ]; then$
5 date -d '3 hours' +'%s' > /root/lock$
6 /sbin/shutdown -h now$
7 else$
8 locktime=$(cat /root/lock)$
9 nowtime=$(date +'%s')$
10 if [ $locktime -gt $nowtime ]; then$
11 echo "Sorry, you're still locked out"$
12 /sbin/shutdown -h now$
13 fi$
14 fi$

Trump is a racist. Look at all the things he said about blacks. Like.........

>>69832471
her name isnt mittens its kittens

>>69832259
>>69832251
>the janny deleted them
he's a right cunt, isn't he?
he blocked me for 10 minutes for posting a cute Japanese girl

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>I own a desktop computer

>>69832443
Does she look overweight too?
Nothing wrong with pointing out retards

>>69832514
If she's doing all of this mass surveillance and anti jew shit now, imagine what it'll be like if the UK gets another muslim terrorist attack, you'll all probably be banned from posting on "radical" sites like this

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>>69832417

>watched this years ago when it first aired
>he was a 26yo virgin
>i'm now a 28yo virgin

>>69832538
yeah and mexicans. like...

>>69832538
"I literally hate black people"

-Donald John Trump

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Why do women always think they're really deep and good at writing?

>>69832610
JK rowling is one of the greatest storytellers the worlds ever seen

currently slow cooking some cod in the oven

spoke to a girl in the lift today xx

>>69832568
nice one, lad
i found the good stuff
G213F42A

>>69832583
h o w l i n g

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>>69832643
Fucking christ

business idea: sell nuclear weapons to unarmed countries

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tzvDc9dZUts

*bops emphatically*

HE is in the thread

this is NOT a drill

>Janny trying to destroy our culture
you think you're doing a good job because you're deleting porn off a blue board, but traps and slags are an integral part of /brit/
get a grip you fucking runt

>>69832695
I'll take 5

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Donny (dunny) John (toilet) Trump (fart)

>>69832610
i know, it's all always got the exact same tone, rhythm and vocabulary too. I would kind of like to know which writers influence them all

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sometimes after a nice wholesome family friendly night of snorting cocaine and drinking absurd amounts of booze i like to drive around dodgy neighbourhoods at 7am looking for crackhead looking birds to suck my dick for drugs

Business idea : start weapons manufacturing business in Saudi Arabia so we can stop selling them weapons.

>>69833732
this will be a good post

>>69832195
kittens from /soc/

there's .zips of all her stuff floating around as well

>was a NEET for years
>having to learn how to socialise again

I feel like I have to force words out and my voice doesn't sound right to me.

Still talk to people and girls though

>>69832610
LITERALLY felt like reading a text my ex would send me
wish i could just be gay

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>>69832737
President Bog Fart

>>69832814
can't stand you at all mate

>>69832772
this general literally wouldn't exist if we were forced to be on-topic.

>>69832742
Writers who are very descriptive and overly emotional, rather than esoteric and abstract, looks like.

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>get bus home from work on Monday: £1.60
>get bus home from work on Tuesday: £2
>get bus home from work today: £2.40
???
Same exact journey every day. Why?

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got a proper smoke sesh planned for this evening

>>69832772
he takes his """"job"""" VERY seriously

>>69832772
>>69832828
"off topic" is janny code for "things that trigger me"

the fat fuck

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>>69832838
hmmm yes I agree
shallow AND pedantic

>>69832772
How about following the rules huh pal?

>>69832838
yeah but im trying to think of books that all of these women will have read that influence them. I guess maybe catcher in the rye or something? i've never read it personally but every artsy/"""alternative""" girl i know has

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>getting the bus

C U S T O D I A N

>>69832856
how did the house egging go?

>>69832851
Get a car mate, it's great

>>69832856
i can't smoke weed unless im slightly drunk anymore or else i go full on schizo lmao

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you can pick two of the people from this picture to defend you against the rest

>>69832897
t. hotpockets

>>69832772
banned from /brit/:
>feli city
>kpop
cara soon

thanks janny

>>69832887
girl detected

>>69832909
What's a car mate?

>>69832897
Are you actually the janny?

>>69831798
>roiding for this

nah nobody is that dumb

>flag

oh never mind aha

Why do girls all want kids? Why is it so hard to find one that doesn't?

Are there not enough people on this planet?

>>69832924
Geralt and Aragorn desu

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>Writers who are very descriptive and overly emotional, rather than esoteric and abstract, looks like

>>69831553
Test

What's the best holiday you've ever been on lads?

>>69832760
>mfw the jocks are one of the biggest arms manufacturers in the world

probably for the best when al mufassir's rifle jams because it was hastily glued together by a smack head

*sniffs*
got a cold..la-*COUGH* ds...
*sneezes in your face*

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will /brit/ be watching question time tonight?

it's set in the OFFICIAL best place to live in england

>>69832908
it was very successful thanks, 10 eggs, one hit the wrong window but that will help sow discord between neighbours

>>69832914
best to take it easy then if that's happening lad

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>>69832983
Nope

>just turned 24
>after lifting for 3 years starting to look really /fit/
>just found out gf is pregnant
>I'll never get to be the alpha stud that bangs out slags

What's the point? Despite ruining my gf and child's life I still want to break up with her so that I can be a selfish arrogant cunt that bangs a ton of girls and travels and shit. I have serious problems

>>69832974
good pick lad

i'd go the same, or maybe pick kratos I'm not sure

>>69832898
>yeah but im trying to think of books that all of these women will have read that influence them.
thats a very diverse group of people, its like asking what books all people here have read to make them write posts in this way. if you want to know whats likely then look at best selling books for women and read some. Just like Sharpe doesnt appeal to them, their books probably wont appeal to you.

>>69832933
revolution when?
i say we spam the catalog with about 50 /brit/ threads again

Gf is shitting my jizz out then we're off to the pub

>>69833009
That ginger beer has about 30g of sugar in iirc

>>69833006
o's on

>>69832992
went on an interrail trip and shagged a leaf girl in budapest

>>69833009
He fucked it pretty hard, didn't he.

Thinking about joining the uni jiu jitsu club

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>>69833040
how about no

>>69832874
This. Got banned once for "spamming/flooding" when I posted a single post in a thread.

>>69833006
Harrogate?

girl I know just said I have the virgin walk but I purposefully stopped doing it a few months back so she shouldn't have been able to tell. Is there a virgin smell too?

>>69833028
faggot

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Is Nigel Farage a russian puppet?

>>69832909
Nah, I usually walk to work. Saves about £2k/year.
Weathers been shit this week, so I took the bus. I'd forgotten how shit the buses are in this country though.

>>69833028
run away and start a new life obvs

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>>69833006

*walks towards the football league*

>>69833061
>shagged a girl

No you didn't. The interail part sounds fun though!

>>69833006
>set
Fucking mong

>watches Naked once

>>69833040
This

>>69832924
Combined they have nothing on Jackie Chan in a table, ladder and chair warehouse after somebody killed his partner.

>>69833085
>thinking you can prevent yourself from doing the virgin walk

lmao

>>69833041
desklad

>>69833028
Alpha stud dad > alpha stud manslut

>>69833089
>puppet

he has no influence over anything tho

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>>69833065
pshh... you're not ready kiddo

>>69833060
what
>>69833076
umm no sweetie
https://www.uswitch.com/place-to-live/
>>69833102
GOOD post

>>69833016
>Responding to a test post
A bit too perky are we?

Was banned la, just testing out the waters ngl

>>69832898
Literally just finished that one, pretty embarrassing.

And no, that wouldn't be it. Similar in the kind of stream of consciousness style, but in that case it was intentional, it was supposed to be written by a 17 year old man-child.

I think a lot of high school and romantic drama novels, as well as social media. It's all just practice for when they want to write a long, dreary post to their boyfriend which they think makes them sound intellectual.

https://www.tumblr.com/search/excerpt%20from%20a%20book%20i'll%20never%20write

This is a goldmine of it though. You can really see how their style is bizarrely identical.

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>>69833085

yes, women can smell beta pheromones

they can also smell depression and can see mental illness in your muscular armouring

>virgin walk

my god sometimes it's so painfully obvious the average age around here is about 18 and you're all cringeworthy spastics. the fuck am i even doing here

>>69833091
Where do you live?

>>69833125
give over my mum said I don't have it anymore

usually been attracted to a man who uses zsh

what is /brit/ doing on this fine thursday night

>about to take my fish out of the oven
>watch reading vs qpr
>finish some coursework
>go to sleep at the comfy time of 11:45

>>69832851
get a megarider nonce

>>69833085
You have the virgin posture.

>>69833186
can you upload a webm of you walking?

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The Jannys a proper maverick isn't he?
he doesn't play by anyones rules apart from his own, he deals out his own form of justice

What's the virgin walk?

>>69833193
applications and shit

possibly sorting out the australian connect

is it gay if I'd only fug extremely handsome men like young morrissey

>>69833147
Crikey that's the opposite of what I want to happen

>tfw not a virgin but have a virgin essence about me

>>69832976
>literally using my own reaction pic to fedora me

And I was just venturing an opinion. It's hard to describe writing styles without sounding pretentious.

Is there also a frigid walk?

>>69833220
Judge Dredd comes to mind

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the so called "yank internet gf"

>>69833193
rewarding a few weeks of hard uni work with a chilled out evening of 4chan, tv, video games and weed.

friday the 13th tomorrow lads

bit scared

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Js-XbNj6Tk

rick and morty is actually good though, not arsed if reddit likes it

>>69833193
eating curry and doing the ol' crossboard, shall be reading Manga-kino later

could kiss anyone in this thread

>>69833174
>https://www.tumblr.com/search/excerpt%20from%20a%20book%20i'll%20never%20write
fucking HELL
my ex set up a poetry blog, she wrote me all these shitty boring poems and they're all the exact same as that.

>>69833155
literally no excuse for testposting
http://4chan.org/banned

>>69833254
No matter how many books you read, there is something in this world that you never ever ever ever ever fucking understand.

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>So anon, are you doing much at the weekend?

>>69833310
fucking dare you to come to wakefield gym and pucker up
i'll shove my tongue right down your throat you little cunt

>>69833289
What does that mean?>

Dumped the igf for an e-gf

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>>69833187
Southampton. It's about 1.2 miles from my flat to my office. It's through a park though, so I take the bus if it's raining hard.

Hiro: Janny... I don't want any more trouble like you had last year in the /sp/ board. You understand? That's my policy.

Harry "Dirty Janny" Callahan: Yeah, well, when an adult male is posting a female with a penic, I ban the bastard - that's my policy.

Hiro: Intent? How'd you establish that?

Dirty "Dirty Janny" Callahan: When a naked man is sat in his room posting pictures of Japanese girls from his dark room with his hard on in hand, I figure he isn't out collecting for the Red Cross.

[leaves]

Hiro: I think he's got a point.

>>69833302
thought it was alright, don't get the hysteria

the creators seem cool though

me gah a new gimmick in da pipeline, ya get me?

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>>69833326
>grown man who gets his eyebrows done professionally

dont care how hot his gf is this guys a faggot

>>69833316
Hmm.. Yeah, we each have our own ways. Now piss off

did an orgasm

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PGLzm-Gy0dQ

>>69833298
Why do Americans call it 'Friday the 13th' when they do month/day/year?

Going on holiday to dubai is pure deano

>>69833389
He looks plastic

>>69833193
Drinking a 4 pack of speckled hen, and eating some carrots with a dip I made from fromage frais, fresh herbs, garlic, salt/pepper, and some olive oil.

>>69833352

>not balancing 7 e-gfs with varying levels of affection

ROARING

>>69833390
shut up you yank twat

>>69833265
Judge Dredd doesn't make up his own rules.

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>eating some carrots with a dip I made from fromage frais, fresh herbs, garlic, salt/pepper, and some olive oil.

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Please please PLEASE let it be thick with snow tomorrow so I can have a snowball fight and make snowmen with my friends at lunchtime

danny
get the shooter

>>69833302
very good lad. I went into the show thinking i'd absolutely hate it and only watched it because I was bored.

But it grew on me. I also became a fan of this song after the show.

>>69833478
>not praying for snow so you didn't have to go to school

did you even HAVE a childhood

>>69831553
is that a boy

janny
get the shooter

>>69833389
Alri jealous

>>69833478
remember having snowball fights on the playground. It'd fucking hurt getting snowballs cos your freezing cold fingers would be scraping against the tarmac

>>69832194
she's actually multi-millionaire because of her parents

she's additionally qt as fuck

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Tell me about South Lanarkshire.

Most of my family's from there.

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>>69833448
>not possessing basic cookery skills

wot flick shall I watch 2nite boiz?

>>69833539
shithole

>>69833548
kes

>>69833539
bit of a shithole

that's just the reputation though tbf, never really spent much time there, I'm from Edinburgh myself but rarely venture west

absolute STATE of this rorke mong scrolling down the old thread replying to hour old posts
>>69832663
>>69832810
>>69832864
>>69833078
>>69833249
>>69833351
>>69833470

>>69833539
its full of canadians

Janny a prick desu lads him get no respect fi /brit/ culture

>>69833539
>muh heritage

fuck off leaf

>>69833508
>>69833529
Subtly povvo posts