Tech illiterate people stories thread

>>57554045
He asks you if his poorly compressed videostreams take up that much bandwidth that the whole data cap would vanish in one night.

>"hello computer is of frying"
>what
>"it fire"
>"bugarooni pasta"
>¿¿¿
>"oh ok"

>"AAAAAAAAAAA"
>AAAAAAAAA
>"AAAAAAAA"
>AAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAA

>>57554045
At least he's not literally illiterate like you.

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>>57554096

apology for poor english

when were you when computer dies?

i was sat at home eating curry when pajeet ring

‘computer is kill’

‘no’

here's one that happen few minutes ago
>"did you text my little sister ask for nude"
>"no I used whatsapp not text"
>"she is 12. i'm calling the cops you fucking rapist"
fucking tech illiterate people

>get call
>"jes of friending, can you solve?"
>the fuck
>he wants to take cooling off his computer and make food on it

>when you wake up and have no (You)s on any of the 3 machines you post from

>>57554441
you were so close to the quads friend

>>57554450
desu wasn't even going for it, but thanks for the (You)

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>>57554096
>bugarooni pasta
>mfw

>>57554455
kek smiles upon you and grants a gift

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>>57554385

>>57554045
>me be
>ring papa
>"fixing my computer!!!"
>pls no.jpg
>I turned it off
>?!
>okay

kek amirite?

>>57554045

>Be a day trader.
>Made nearly 300k a year working from home
>Neighbour knocks on my door in the middle of my trading day
>HAI, U NO COMBUDERS RITE?
>Uhh, yes, i guess, why?
>DIS IS MAI 2 VRENDS, DEY HAB COMBUDER PROBDEMS
>Old couple looking at me blankly
>Uhh ok... i'm quite busy right now, but uhh what seems to be the problem
>OH I WAS WUNDERINK IF I GUD BRINK MY COMPUDER TO YOU TO HAD A LUK AD IT ITS ACTING SLOW
>Uh... i'm not really in that line of work
>BUD U NO COMPUTERS RITE?
>Listen, I'm really very busy, you should try a computer repair shop
>OH U CANT HELB OUD A NAYBURR? M-Kay...
>I have no idea who these good people are, but no, I work form home so please respect that i'm in the middle of my work day
>OH OHKAY SARRY.

Fucking twats.

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>>57554045
>i need to mount a sql server database backup on my laptop what do i need to install?
this, yesterday.

>>57556180
What accent is that supposed to be

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>norally hashoped prementen capinbloude brousness
>gestagm deress expelianties matery chanly avocks inforn
>gishaving sothed wrigate syncess bertraturn troupembates
>convers
>blipmeramming lantens snompted resistaredine elialityphott codisaucked
>bordions asphon bricompts haustented trammens snappe prously vulnuthes somebart broonion scincizes logreedominary jamaniorting hoodmastic
>"pagentlers"

>mfw

>>57556313

Retard speak

>>57556313
Whatever accent you have, fucking poo-in-loo

>>57556180
If you don't mind me asking, how'd you get started with day trading? Like how much money did you start out with, any tips or anything?

>>57556409
>Like how much money did you start out with, any tips or anything?
>>/biz/

>>57554045
>Dispatcher for a small Cable TV contractor.
>It's pretty dark here, if you know what I mean.
>They constantly run into problems with our ICOMS web system.
>"I can't get this crap to load! This computer is BROKEN"
>I know that if I don't solve their shit they'll just sit on their phones all day and complain while the rest of us do all the work.
>I know she probably fucked up one of the web instructions in order to log in.
>Clear her browsing history.
>Everything works.
>"This website is showing me a weird screen i've never seen before!"
>clear browsing history.
>"My database window isn't popping up"
>Clear browsing history.
over and over again. This is my life.

Other common problems include Monitors that need to be rebooted to work, adjusting screen resolution, and educating others on how to Copy+Paste

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Manditory

>>57559678
thanks for the share

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>>57560076
Never seen it before?
Here's part 2 then.

>>57560299
I didn't realize everyone in IT did the same shit as me.

>>57554045
>Working technical support for large enterprise software company
>Open new ticket
>"I can't see the side bar any more and I can't figure out how to get it back. We've restarted the servers, but it's just not showing up."
>Call customer, start webex
>Can you please move your cursor to the left side of the browser, click and drag to the right please?
>Problem solved, ticket closed

And that guy was probably making $80k+.

>"hey man I want a good smartphone"
>buys an android phone

>>57554198
AAAAÀAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA yourself

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>>57556313
>accent

>>57554045
One time I got a call saying that one of her applications wasn't working, so I went and remote into her computer. It turns out that said application was just an Internet Explorer shortcut on her desktop with the wrong url. I simply changed it and she was so amazed like I did a magic trick or some shit.

She didn't sound like an elderly person, how could someone be that computer illiterate in this day and age?

>>57559678
>>57560299
The ending was heart warming but the whole thing really made me cringe

>>57554456
I don't get it, there are only 2 legit results when googling "bugarooni pasta" and one is from this fucking thread.

What even.

>>57554441
trips don't lie

>>57566136
>trips
hello, newfriend!

My girlfriend is the fucking worst. I have a ton of stories about her but this is the most recent one.
>girlfriend has iPhone 5s
>"honey my notifications are broken I need a new iPhone"
>what you mean? Speakers broken?
>"no, I just don't get a sound when you send a text
>gives me her phone
>do not disturb is on
>turn it off, send a text. It dings
>"omg thanks honey! You're the best"
I'm actually not sure if she's seriously that stupid or if she does this shit on purpose to get extra attention from me.

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>>57554045
>I've been working on this project for weeks, I set up a SQLite DB and started looking into flask. Can't get html, Ajax and autolab tango
>The installation step by step isn't clear enough.
>Documentation showing multiple examples got my dick stuck in a ceiling fan

Spent 3 separate days, 2hrs each on the project & got get everything set up and working just missing a script to interface the flash server with the tango server

>>57566496
>My girlfriend is the fucking worst. I have a ton of stories about her but this is the most recent one.
>>girlfriend has iPhone 5s
>>"honey my notifications are broken I need a new iPhone"
>>what you mean? Speakers broken?
>>"no, I just don't get a sound when you send a text
>>gives me her phone
>>do not disturb is on
>>turn it off, send a text. It dings
>>"omg thanks honey! You're the best"
>I'm actually not sure if she's seriously that stupid or if she does this shit on purpose to get extra attention from me.
Literally your average iPhone user.

>>57566777
>>57566136

>>57566496
mine is similar, I think it's more adorable than frustrating.

>girlfriend has large chinkphone
>complains that it's slow and unresponsive most of the time
>"my apps don't open when I click them, look"
>she presses and sure enough, it doesn't open
>I try it and it works
>phone doesn't seem hot but I check through her settings to see if any apps are hogging ram
>her internal memory is about half free
>everything seems fine
>open apps in front of her and they work
>give phone back
>she does the same thing and it stays on the homescreen
wait...
>I realize the base of her thumb is resting on the edge of the screen and causing a touch to be detected there
>no edge rejection software
>have to teach her how to hold a phone she's had for 2 years

When people that consider themselves "tech literate" I intentionally search for google on google, click on the scroll bar, click on "search", don't use Tab to hop between entry fields, don't use Tab to auto complete, sometimes I even use nano. It's so fun.

>>57566816
same, the better you get, the worse you pretend to be

>>57566777
huh, good to know that i'm an advanced power user then

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>>57554201
Being literally illiterate means you cant write or read.

>Being this autistic

>be with my older brother at home
>hes using the printer
>starts pressing down on it with both hands for some reason
>loud crack sound
>printer doesnt work anymore

>>57567456
Nice, did you ask him why he did it?

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>>57554385
>whatsapp
pleb

>>57559451
Dude just write a script and deploy it on all the machines to do this automatically.

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>>57556454
>/biz/

>>57567250
>>57554201
illiterally

>>57559678
What are those Adobe Reader meme?

>>57556180
Answering the door was your first mistake.

>>57567250
tech illiterate is a thing you idiot

>>57568075
Kek

To be fair I used to think you could click Sell too. I assumed the company that is being traded had to buy them, or something. Its because they make it seem like that in the movies.

>>57568075
>>57568874
well he isn't all wrong. You can typically sell your stocks at the current trade price to the "Central" of the specific stock market. For example, in Germany and Luxembourg, any stock you offer at the current trading price is automatically bought by Clearstream (i don't know the details, but they apparently run daily stock operations in DE and LU. Before they were called Deutsche Börse Co.)

>Hey anon, so you're in code club right?
>Yeah?
>So what do you do in programing? Like... look at ones and zeros right?
High school was cancer.

>>57561936
He must be really really good at his particular Jon

>>57554045
>Tech illiterate people stories thread

>>>/g/catalog
As tech illiterate as it gets

>>57566496
>>57566777
>>57566810
>>>/out/

>>57554093
what the fuck are you even talking about?

>>57554045
Not in IT but my old manager thought he knew everything about computers, one day a work colleague asked him if he could fix his keyboard, it's typing US layout not UK, 'sure' he says, 'bring the keyboard in and I'll take a look at it for you', I don't think he fixed it.

>>57573434
Wew

>>57570658

He is decyphering what the normie was asking OP

>>57566496
>>what you mean? Speakers broken?
You're the tech illiterate, kek.

>>57570658
don't you understand normies? it's not that complicated

>>57556313
sounds like a Slav

>>57569015
Hey at least he acknowledged that programming is different than what he usually does with a computer, thats a lot for a normie, most think its the same as it support

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@57554441
Weebs confirmed for total attention whores.

Ask "what do you mean?"
It forces them to think about what they are asking and attempt to rationalize it.
Correct any false impressions they have.

They are now wiser to the operation of their computer and will have less stupid questions in the future.

>>57567250
It can also be used to refer to a person who cannot read at their age level. It's often used to describe adults who read at a middle school level (or lower). Certainly the original meaning is for people who cannot read or write at all, but there you go. Language is a tricky business.

>>57556262

Did you do CA218 too?

>>57556409
>Believing shit you read on the Internet
>Believing shit you read on 4chan
shiggy diggy dongery doo

>>57559678
>>57560299
That was so beautiful. I can't believe I've never seen part 2 before.

>>57556409
Nigga literally just click the "make 2k a week from home" pop up ads

>be me
>help uncle with computer problems
>he has some old acer laptop
>1.5GHz dualcore, still has fucking w8.1installed
>he appareantly doesn't know the difference between a desktop and a laptop
>has laptop permanently closed
>uses external keyboard, mouse and monitor
>he doesn't use it on the go or anything
>is completely amazed at me telling him I have a desktop, not a laptop

>wangblows fucked the pnp driver
>have to "refresh" (reinstall) windows
>shittons of bloatware get installed too
>reinstall firefox
>he uses a wlan network without password for internet
>has two networks because he forgot the pw for one
>has to log into his ebay account
>has apparently never in his life seen a login screen
>doesn't know what to do, tries to click login without any input multiple times
>has no idea about his username or password
>entire desk littered with stickies with email adresses, login info and URLs
>doesn't use bookmarks either, just the frequent sites list

I got 20 bucks for fixing his computer

>>57576693
You are selling yourself short.

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>Be me, 17 in vocational school
>I do IT and do service calls around the school when the real IT techs aren't around (all the time).
>Get service call to help an adult student in the childcare class
>Adult student wants to me to help them setup their brand new Windows 10 laptop
>I configure it
>They don't have Microsoft Office/can't afford it but need it
>I suggest LibreOffice, explaining that it is free. They agree and I get it for them.
>Next day I get a service call
>Student wants to know how to insert a picture in Impress (LibreOffice's version of PowerPoint).
>It's the same exact way in Microsoft Powerpoint (no joke)
>"Wow anon, you are really smart"
>All I did was drag a picture onto the canvas
>The adult student (who, I might mention, is 43) asks me to help with their other sideshow
>I watch in horror as they go through the slides that have so much text on them that the slide canvases cannot hold all of them
>They don't understand what is wrong
>Pic related is a visual representation of what that looks like (obviously not the real picture)
>tfw they did it again another day when they were using a different laptop with actual microsoft powerpoint

>>57556313

Pajeet duh, are you a fucking moron?

>>57554045
haha oh man guys great thread. i fucking hate normies so much am i rite guys? fucking stupid normies cant into technology XD

>>57577648
Some of this shit is supposed to be basic.

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Replying just in case. I hate these things.

1
2
34

>>57554045
I think it's me. I've been having the biggest hitches in my internet for the past few months. No patterns, no site in particular, no warning, no viruses detected, just a giant stop in my internet performance that goes on for anywhere from a minute to half an hour. Every time I go to check for a problem, it's all back to normal. There are even days where it doesn't happen at all, but there are some days where I can barely do a thing.

I know this is something for >>>/wsr/, but I'm not looking for advice anymore. I flat out give up. I'm holding out for a new computer at this point, because my computer's the only one in the house that it's happening to.

>>57554243
Underrated

>>57577765
Check drivers to whatever wireless device that is connected to the computer.

Device manager, etc, should have a yellow triangle.

Download new drivers, clear out old ones, then reinstall new ones.

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>>57554045
>"Help me buy a laptop for gaymen"
>"Does it have to be a laptop?"
>"Yes"
>*list requirements and recommendations for his price range*
>keep asking about it for a month, keep linking him my list of recommendations
>i go offline for two days
>he messages me on Steam
>"I bought a used laptop, it was a great deal!"
>"What are the specs?"
>"i don't know! but it can run ARMA 3 i checked the specs!"
>...
>Turns out it's a shitty i3 with a 940m or something
>It doesn't run any of his games properly
>can't play ARMA 3 with us
>paid enough to get a i7 with a 970m
>not only used, but in poor condition
>HDD was making weird noises
>cooling was clogged with nicotine flavored dust
>"Why didn't you buy what i told you?"
>"Because you were offline so i couldn't ask you!"
He got pissed at me for "letting" him buy absolute dogshit, and now i never miss an opportunity to ask him how many FPS he has in Hearthstone.

>>57579240
>you were offline do I couldn't ask you
Oh man, I can't stand people that stupid.

Yes, I've had a few friends like that in the past, as soon as they find out you know an i7 is better than an i5 they cling to you for tech help and everything is your fault.

>>57579375
Yeah, no good deed goes unpunished.

I have another one for you(it's not even a troll)

>Friend asks me to help him pick between used 960 and 390
>390 only costs marginally more
>His cousin told him the 960 was better because nvidia
>Convince him to buy the 390 since he wanted to play Star Citizen and other demanding vaporware
>He gets it and he's happy with it for a little while
>One day he tells me that the card is shit and doesnt support his games
>Looks at me like he's a kid that thought he was going to Disneyland and now he's strapped to a dentist chair
>Ask him what is wrong, can't seem to get a clear answer
>His cousin messages me and tells me i'm a retard for ruining everything and says i should buy the 390 so he can get a 960 instead
>He can't tell me whats wrong either, which makes me think they're full of shit
>Some time passes, and i visit my friend
>He finally explains what was wrong, apparently he was using the nvidia driver suite to set his game graphics settings with some wizard util
>Because it was AMD, it didn't work EXACTLY like the nvidia driver
>He was too dumb to manually adjust his game graphics
>His cousin was too dumb to do it
>Both of them are in their thirties and have been playing vidya for at least 15 years all fucking day
>It was 2 games that didn't run the way he wanted, everything else worked fine
>to this day i am still the villain that tricked them
I should have just bought it from him and given him my 770, he would have never known the difference.

>>57573434
>>57573445
I this the post with 1,2,3 and 4 on it and the megaman on the bottom left? The one where the guys sister was a brat and formatted his laptop?

>>57556409
>>>/r/wallstreetbets

>>57556313
I read it in the accent of that CityWok guy from south park.

>What would you like on your sandwich?
>I DON'T KNOW I AM NOT A SANDWICH PERSON YOU ARE BEING VERY UNHELPFUL GET YOUR MANAGER

>>57570632
Aint r9k mf

>>57568457
>Answering the door was your first mistake.
Abso-fucking-lutely. Answering the door is always a mistake.

>Brother calls me over
>"hey mind fixing something for me?
>ask what
>my laptop keeps shutting off and the charger is plugged in
>don't want to go over because he lives in the bad part of Toledo
>go over anyway
>big tittle neighbor calls me
>"Michael smith how are you doing today"
>tell her nothing ma'am I know she is wet for me
>turns out she didn't plug in the charger

Completely fooled Me heh

>>57579864
Are you me?

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>>57580191
I don't think so

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>>57577720
reeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>57556262
Some remote filesystem?

Tell him to use sshfs or whatever.

>can you recommend this?
>how many gigs you have?
>is this a scam?
>can you fix this?
>why is...?
>but I want the paid version, it's better
>but I might need that
>i have a virus
>you're so smart, anon! You could make this your job!

>I NEED an unlocked i7, 64GB of RAM and dual 1080s in SLI to play vanilla minecraft

>>57580388
these kinds of people piss me off the most.
>i need a phone!
>i will be calling people and playing angry birds
>buys the latest flagship phone when a 30 dollar phone would do exactly what they want

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>>57554198
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

>>57580388
Well that MIGHT get them started on modded, if they get the bug.

>>57573434
I've never been so triggered by a collection of rectangles before. Well played.

>>57576693
>two lan because he forgot the password of the first one
You should have started by fixing your uncle though.
All my relatives, gf and gf relatives now have Keepass on their computer and have learned how to use it, and i have their master passwords in case they forget that.

>>57580401
>$30 phone
nononononono
low cost Android phones lag like hell
everything is slow
opening apps, navigating on websites, load times, everything
it's a nightmare

>>57580940
That's why you use a low end Winphone

>>57581004
no
that's why you use chinkphones
much more cheap than known brands and just as good
- Posted from my Xiaomi Redmi Note 2 using Clover

>friend calls me to his house
>won't tell me why
>get there
>"unga bungalow tooth"
>no
>"but attached blankendies"
>spin around, install adobe reader
>punch friend, then pee on him
>go home and have megadiarrhea

>>57554045
Hi anon
>Hi mom
Ive got my laptop here and the thing won't come up
>What thing?
You know... the thing
>No I don't
Yes you do, it's at the bottom and you click on it
>The start button
No other other one at the bottom... And I can't do anything.
>Other what?
You know. Nothing will work
>Nothing?
No - you know what's going on.
>No I don't. I'm on the other side of a phone line. I can't see what you're doing and you aren't being clear about what is happening. Where on the screen is it?
Bottom right
>So you have a service icon that's not coming on
Yes it is.
>So the icon is on
Yes
>What does the icon look like?
A trumpet thing
>A trumpet?
Yes a trumpet thing and when I click on it nothing is working
>Errrrr - your wifi?
That's it
>And you can't get your internet working?
Yes
>It's thursday, so you've been vacuuming?
Yes
>Go and plug your wireless router back in.
It's not unplugged, I check that
>Just check it again for me
<pause>
Sorry anon

>>57554045
What is it with most people into tech being absolute cunts with the knowledge you have?

Just answer him faggot instead of stressing yourself out:
'Well, it takes up your data cap yeah and it uses part of your internet speed, but it won't be all of it.'

>>57568457

I have the same policy for the door as I do for the phone. If I'm not expecting you you don't get an answer.

>>57554477
you're are waifu a shit

>>57580388
Minecraft is a real ram hog though

>>57554045
>this entire thread

When did /g/ turn into /s4s/?

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My mom calls me all the time to ask some of the dumbest questions I've ever heard, and the occasional good coherent question. It's annoying and weird and kind of amusing.

>How do I see how much internet my phone got on it?
>How do I turn off my Google?
>My Chrome is acting up how do I fix it?
>What are some effective ways to free up storage space and clear up bloat on an Android tablet?
>Can you come set up my wifi please I got a new box thing?

Never even bothers to reboot anything before calling me if anything goes wrong.

>>57568064
but then he'd be out of a job you fucking cheese-dick

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>>57581496
Bless her.

One time my dad yelled at me for moving the mouse too fast since "it will break the computer".

>>57579762
yes

>Phone call from the web development department
>"I was copy pastaing from dev to prod in Filezilla and I fucked up a merge"
>Standard "you guys really should start looking at source control."
>"Look faggot I don't tell you how to do your job. Now go fix the server"
>Yet again, I have to look at the two different dev servers and work out what incompatible changes these two fucking idiots made and merge the relevant .php files in vi
>Boss comes in and literally says "these web developers really are geniuses. I asked them to change the font color and just three days later they had it done. Pity about all the server issues huh?"

>>57554455
Them triple doubles though

>>57554096
>sergio just no worko

>>57554385
>rapist
thats slander and you could sue (unless she sends nudes too)

>>57566810
That reminds me https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=TGfLsDo3cT4

>>57580938
Just no. Remember your fucking passwords. Don't entrust them to a third party.

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>>57554243
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jWjrH1leZBU

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>>57582977
>K.Y.S.
>Linux developper
>Working for Microsoft

>>57582484
Are you the sysadmin?

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>people who go into phone settings and just change shit willy nilly (apple and android people both do this shit)
>anon my car airbag light is on you know computers can u fix it
>anon i fell over my ebay wine cooler and all the lights dont work can u fix it
>all the led's are crushed to shit
>wat u mean u cant fix u just dont want to do it omFGG
>my computer is slow anon if u dont want to fix it ill get my friends son to fix it
>know for a fact that asperger will ruin the pc
>even better when someone asks you to fix their sons shitty minecraft bing bong noodle bazinga netbook and they take it personally when you tell them you dont want to
>thats not how u do that THIS is how u do that
>proceeds to absolutely fuck up a bunch of settings then pretend like it's working as normal just so they cant admit fault

>>57583101
oh yeah and
>people who plug in headphones then put shit on top of the jack as if they're testing how much stress a 3.5mm audio port can take before snapping off

>>57581566
>What is it with most people into tech being absolute cunts with the knowledge you have?
Because we're absolutely fed up with stupid bullshit problems we're constantly bombarded with every 5 minutes that can always be easily resolved after spending 5 minutes googling the stupid problem.

>>57582484
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

>>57581566

Year of our lord 2016 and people still don't know that doing a power cycle fixes 90% of tech problems. Considering how much we interact with technology and it's importance in literally any work environment, a person deserves to get shafted if they choose to lack basic tech knowledge and wants to be an annoying prick about it as well.

>>57584199

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=obhfHhzAoqE

>physics teacher makes us use an app to track motion
>data is formatted in xml
>tells us to open it excel
>Have to read ir like a text file.

>>57584435

LOL

>>57566810
That's actually got me once or twice..

>>57556180
daytrading haha
making money

Uncle learns the magic of .apks and rooting phones from other uncle. Proceeds to torrent from any site my family catches wind of. After months of unverified downloads, his computer is ded.
I get a Jackson just to clean his drives.
>tfw so much hidden porn.

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>>57568075
Holy shit that's Robinhood general, I was sitting there watching this unfold, dumbest thing I've seen on there.

>people who think Kali is a 1337 distro
>people who think RHL is a top-tier distro
>people who think you need Montavista to compile Lindbergh games from source

>>57587751
What's wrong with RHEL?

>there's a big Samsung TV in the living room hooked up to a digital satellite receiver
>two remotes, the receiver is used to pwoer everything on, select channels and volume
>TV remote can also be used for volume but you don't even need it just to watch
>mom consistently manages to hit random fucking buttons on the TV remote trying to change channels on the receiver, wodnering why she gets a black screen with 'no signal'
>bitches and moans when i tell her to just hit the big HDMI button on the Samsung remote to switch back to that input
>receiver dies, is replaced with new one
>the problem gets worse because the new remote looks even more similar I guess
>now she insists that the old setup didn't have this problem when it was the exact same issue back then
>'oh so I'm too stupid to turn on a TV, is that what you're saying?'
>expects me to politely contradict her when it's 100% true

She has a law degree and is literally too dumb to tell two remotes apart and not just press random number buttons.

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>Press ALT+F4
>should I press all three at the same time?

>>57582484

I share your frustration.

My life as a sysadmin has literally been playing babysitter for software developers for the past 3 or 4 years. It's these coding bootcamps and companies hiring people straight out of them because they'll work for half the wages that a real software developer would work for. Even if you hire someone with just an associates in anything sofware/technology related they'll know enough to not completely nuke the filesystem on a weekly basis.

>>57567825
Not him, but literally no one I know or talk with (the whole 5 of them) uses Telegram though. Would switch if that wasn't the case

>watch uncle spend an entire afternoon trying to fill out a registration form so he could order shoes online
>he kept putting spaces in his email address and that's why it didn't let him continue

>another time he asked me how to get the @ sign, he suspected it had something to do with the Ctrl key

>another time he comes across the login screen of a store where he has bought numerous things and thinks it's the registration form
>'account name and password ... hmm, anon, what would be a good password?'

> Hey man I know you're some computer expert
> Do you know a way to get me a ticket for this sold out festival?

Fucking retard expecting me to hack ticketmaster or get them from the dark web or some shit

>>57556180
Iddubz must be your hero

>>57590394
oh man that childboy
my absolute least favourite people in universe

>>57579240
had exactly this experiance with a friend once. He is no longer my friend. I really cant stand people whom first asks for my advice and then shits all over it

>>57581496
you know she does this because she misses you and only wants too talk to you?

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not sure if this fits but:

>be with qt girl
>want to watch a movie
>she types 'watch [movie name] online' into google
>first result is legit
>mfw

>>57590883
I still do that for shit that isn't worth it to torrent properly with my terrible internet.

>>57588153
Colour code them

>>57554045
Not my personal experience but a co-workers, pulled the call later to listen to it for the lulz

>Lady calls saying computers aren't working
>Tech asks whats wrong
>Says none of them are turning on
>"Oh by the way we don't have power because someone came in and stole our copper wire
>Tech tells her she needs to call the police and an electrician then call us back
>Calls end

Why does IT end up being responsible for anything that uses electricity.

>>57591401
>Why does IT end up being responsible for anything that uses electricity.
Because most people in IT are beta fucks who don't know how to say no.

Probably one of my worst personal experiences.

>Ex girlfriends grandma plays a lot of older PC games
>Most don't work well on windows 7
>Tried to see if I could dual boot xp on her overpriced sony laptop best buy sold her
>Installer kept blue screening because IDE configuration was set to AHCI
>BIOS extremely locked down and couldn't even change that
>Told her I couldn't do it because I didn't really want to get into it further
>Laptop breaks about a week later
>Grandma goes on a rampage to ex that it was my fault because I was the last person to touch it
>Geek squad wants to charge her $100 to look at it despite being suckered into a warranty
>Give ex $100 to shut and up grandma and told her to never bring it up again

And that is why I refuse to work on friends/family members computers.

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>>57591401
>>Lady calls saying computers aren't working
>>Says none of them are turning on
>>"Oh by the way we don't have power because someone came in and stole our copper wire
It's amazing how stupid people can be.

>>57587771
it's made by linus, the anti stallman

>>57582951
>remember ~50 40characters long randomly generated passwords
Yeah no.
Also keepass just decrypts a file phisically located on YOUR computer. No cloud shit involved.
I don't see the problem famalam

>>57582484
>no source control
>can't even type ci
>breaks the code
>can't do a dif or press u in vi
>takes the days to change don't color
>boss thinks that's good time
Where do you work, hell?

what is with the amount of total shit posts lately?

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>kid calls in calls in asking how to install roblox on his Xbox
>"sorry we don't do that, we typically only fix hardware"
>"OH MY GOD, YOU GUYS ARE SUPPOSED TO DO YOUR JOB. I'LL REPORT YOU"
>MFW he writes a bad review of us on an obscure better business bureau knockoff site.

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>tfw I think I'm near tech illiterate and people keep asking me to fix their shit because I'm "the computer guy"

>>57588153
have a similar problem

>TV has two remotes, the standard TV one + the one that came along with digital receiver
>if you jack up volume too much with standard a rustling sound can be heard and gets worse the higher the volume
>so you just max the volume with the digital remote that doesn't have this problem and jack up the volume with the standard one just as much as you need
>parents can't do it despite telling them time and time again how to avoid getting rustling sound
>"anon what is this rustling sound "
>"fix it"

>>57587291
>I get a Jackson just to clean his drives.
You should have charged more.

my friend wouldn't let me plug his bass into my guitar amp because he thought it would give his bass a virus

>>57576693
>has laptop permanently closed
>uses external keyboard, mouse and monitor
m8 I work in a hospital and we do the same thing x 30.
I swear to God I need to contact the internal auditors with the amount of fucking waste upper management get away with

>>57592513
>Bass players
How do they manage to breathe holy shit

>>57559678
I can't believe I've never seen this before.
10/10

>"anon i need to buy a low cost tv can you help"
>"Anon i want to buy a laptop can you help

These are as useful as if i weren't there to help. They don't care what they buy as long the device fits their romantic image in their head and not the specs. I don't care what they buy.

When i was 17 i was really into linux and went to a computer meetup talking about the culture while others did real development. Im dissapointed myself looking back at that.

>>57577498
Cant you just pirate office 2010 and install? You dont even need to fuck with keygens anymore, most niggas upload it with the serial on a txt file, granted it may be because I'm a spic and pirating software is the first thing one does when messing around with computers.

>>57594165
I work in the IT department for a police department and we use office 07 with the same serial keys

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>>57592513
>>57593680

>>57591589
Same thing happened to me, but with my sister

I was coding one day and she saw me doing it. Later that day she was going to type out an essay and MS Office wouldn't open. She complained that my "computer shit" (programming) caused it and it was all my fault.

Blames me to this day for anything that goes wrong with her PC

>>57570658
What, are you so tech literate that you understand it better than english?