/efg/ - Erotic Fiction General

Requests Document Database (feel free to add your requests to this when you post them in the thread!):
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1nyDKegfYhIvlv7ZvGoxswIVkiG5lw1lrOeDFvZbw_WU/edit?pli=1

last thread >>7123350

(I hope I'm doing this right. Happy American Thanksgiving, everyone.)

>>7131270
Seems right to me, though it's better to leave the name off.

I swear, all these holidays are leaving me even less time to write than I already have, and that's saying something.

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Is your anus ready for Thanksgiving dumps?

>>7131316
They've started having sex??

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I'm going to do something I normally never do, but I'll repost the link to my last story:

The Darkness Below chapter 2: Natali
http://pastebin.com/WAvrc5qG
Female Half-elf x Tentacle monster (non-con, heavy spanking, choking, tentacle rape, corruption, bad end.)

People, I'd really like some feedback on my work, either this one or the more lovey-dovey piece I wrote for the smut-off if you rather avoid bad end stuff. I have the disheartening feeling I'm writing into circles, and I'd like to improve as a writer. But I can't do it without having my flaws pointed out.

Now, judging from the pastebin count, there is an audience for those stories, so please, tell me what you think. Even if if you didn't like it, I'd like to know why.

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>>7131535
Yeah, sorry about that one Belg, I was reading it and got distracted. I'll see what I can do here.

Pic unrelated.

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This pic has always needed a story to go along with it

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>>7131535
Okay, pretty solid aside from a few small grammatical errors (like "Who'd guessed?" on line 40 instead of "Who'd *have* guessed?", or a few small tense issues), but one thing I feel that it needs is a description of the sorceress.

Her physical attributes, before the beastie starts on her. So that we don't have to mentally construct her appearance as it's given to us in the text.

Next, I feel as though the actual "sex" is over and done with very quickly. Although this makes sense in the context of the story (considering that it's not really sex at all), it's what we're all here for. That could use some expanding.

And, now that I think about it, I feel like the part where it breaks her down could be expanded as well. The spanking I enjoyed (which is a first, as that's never really done anything for me before) so perhaps build off of that?

Aside from that, I think it all ties together very well, and I felt as though the corruption thing was particularly well-done (makes perfect sense as seen from within the mind of the corruptee).

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2000 word update, new content at “Hey, you'd better not fall asleep,”

Purple Heart:
http://pastebin.com/mCZ1pZkK
New tags:
>female ejaculation, spooning, light bondage

>>7131535
The writing is good, though I did notice a few mistakes, like "futileness" should be "futility", "racking" should be "wracking", mostly minor grammar and spelling errors that should be fairly easy to catch in editing.

It's a bit too sadistic for me personally, but that's just my opinion so don't let it discourage you, I had no major problems with the way it was written or your descriptions of the scenes and characters. I always had a good mental imagine of what was going on.

>>7130413
I've tried to address some of that in this update, I hope I did better.

>>7130186
No worries, I may take breaks to do other stuff, but I'm gonna keep writing Pinwheel stories until everyone is sick of it.

>>7130749
Think I should change that? I didn't mean her tongue feels like sandpaper, it doesn't, I was trying to describe something extremely satisfying, like scratching an inch.
It's crazy there are like three words to describe pleasure and a hundred for varying levels of pain and injury.

Oh and happy turkey day, burgers.

>>7131589
>Think I should change that? I didn't mean her tongue feels like sandpaper, it doesn't, I was trying to describe something extremely satisfying, like scratching an inch.
Perhaps try scouring? Debridement? You want to emphasise on the relief it gives, I guess, if it's scratching an itch you're going for.

Though, I see what your problem is, considering there's a lot of overlap in terms of these sensations.

Not sure where to ask this so I'll just do it here.
Does anyone know of a weigh gain story that goes into outright force feeding, about a girl whose childhood friend and mother went away to like ethiopia, and then came back fatter as her neighbours and start feeding her? It starts with them having her come round to tea and giving her massive portions, and eventually devolves to them force feeding her.
It was probably on deviantart or something, I haven't read it in like 5 years.

I've never been to this thread (I stopped coming to /d/ when /slavery/ died) so apologies if this is a dumb question.

Does your archive include the OC that was created in the /slavery( threads? Can I post mine?

>>7131637
No idea what you're even referring to, would you mind explaining?

>>7131637
If you have an archive of erotic literature from a dead /d/ thread then feel free to merge it into one of the master lists; otherwise most of what's here is just from these threads or /tg/-era IIRC

>>7131604
I scoured my thesaurus for pleasure-related synonyms and there really aren't any. Like there's bliss, comfort, enjoyment, euphoria, but you can't really get away with those because they describe emotions more than sensations.
Meanwhile for pain you have agony, suffering, irritation, torment, torture, soreness, stinging, a million nouns and verbs to describe anything from stubbing your toe to fucking a cheese grater.
So then all of my sentences end up like:
"He mauled her tender breasts, scouring her sensitive nipples with his tongue, her body wracked with anguish....but in a good way!"

>>7131535
>or the more lovey-dovey piece I wrote for the smut-off if you rather avoid bad end stuff
Wouldn't mind reading that. I've had my fill of bad end for the year.

I think the master list needs to be updated with the last smut-off since I can't find them on there. Or I'm just looking in the wrong place.

>>7131858
I saw no point in labeling it as a smut-off.There were exactly two entries to it, which doesn't even come close to being enough for a smut-off. But if you're wondering, Belgi's fic for it is in the list- though I'll repost it here just to be sure.

A Night at the Faire
http://pastebin.com/67xuAF6D
Tags: M. Human X F. Tiefling. (rough vanilla sex/gentle femdom)

>>7131865
>>7131535
Oh that one, thanks. I really liked it. Thought I commented on it in the thread but might have been just before it died.

Yuevon reminded me a lot of the character Solas from Dragon Age Inquisition in some ways. Being one of my favourite characters in that game I guess that's a good thing?

I was sort of expecting a parting catcall from his subconscious. Sorry that I don't have any more constructive feedback.

>>7124444

So Azi will return. Total speculation:

New respect for her former victim since he selflessly took on the Big Big? Or since his scars are visible & he survived what no-one should have?

Or, will she just saunter up full of sass and vinegar, talking down to the LT on the station, then get fukken TOLD by cyber arms?

TUNE IN NEXT WEEK. GET HYPE.

Also: do we have author names for "Keep the Freckles?"

>>7131535
Belgianon, I've helped with stuff before, but I can't stomach sadism, pain, or bad ends. Dubcon is as far as I go, really, or I'd help with this one. Afaik your last work was "What Did You Do to Me," yes?

>>7131941

Azi getting slammed in the face by a cyborg arm will be the most satisfying thing snek has ever written, if he actually does that

>>7131945
That'd be a Christmas miracle. Fucking Robocop her ass.

Yo, My buddy and I went over the request list and picked out some ideas. We'll be working on em over in a stream here. https://picarto.tv/gim if your interested feel free to drop by :)

>>7131734

There used to be a general on this board dedicated to the subject of slavery. And people within the thread would create OC stories and general scenarios with that theme. Most of them are gone, though. I remember there was a guy who saved them up but I don't think he's around anymore.

>>7131776

I do have the links to the pastebins of what I wrote. A couple of (unfinished) stories. I'll search for them tomorrow and I'll post the links here.

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I'm going to spend the coming month hunkering down and writing something I (probably) won't be posting on the internet. I'd appreciate it if you could aid in that endeavor by giving me some constructive criticism on my more recent writings.

Universal tags: Monster girl, hetero

--

Sequel to Analogue Bubblebath, this time with a little less diminutive fizzy drink: http://pastebin.com/tQszmM5Y

Tags: tentacles girl, scylla, octopus girl, anal, spanking, hotdogging, (attempted) impregnation

--

Mindflayer-like shenanigans: http://pastebin.com/jYj3Pz9X

Tags: tentacle girl, mindflayer, injected fantasies, gentle femdom, incest

--

Manticore: http://pastebin.com/FfLn8Ap8

Tags: tail pussy, not-as-gentle femdom, "fear play" , dehydration

--

Mermaid: http://pastebin.com/9Pp31a1N

Tags: vanilla af, casual sex, mute lover, tit-fuck, blowjob

--

Dark elf: http://pastebin.com/NRJ7sY7u

Tags: footjob, consensual BDSM, happily married, aftercare, "stop RPing you fucking losers"

--

Apophis: http://pastebin.com/xa9BXnxq

Tags: lamia, snake-girl, pudgy, aphrodisiac venom, power bottom, titfuck, anal, cumflation, if you complain about a snake-girl having an ass we cannot be friends in fact we are probably enemies

--

Tentacle girl: http://pastebin.com/ezJZhFik

Tags: tentacle-on-male – no penetration, tentacle pussy, titty monster, gentle femdom, lactation

--

First of all, thanks for your replies, everyone. It really helps.

>>7131588
>Next, I feel as though the actual "sex" is over and done with very quickly. Although this makes sense in the context of the story (considering that it's not really sex at all), it's what we're all here for.

Interesting remark, since to me it felt like it started to drag on already. I think you nail it with "it's not really sex". I'll keep it in mind for the other chapters. Glad to hear the corruption part worked out.

>>7131589
Thanks for pointing those out. To be honest, it's not really my cup of tea either. But the prompt intrigued me, I see it as a challenge to write something else than "safe, sane, consensual" for once.

>>7131941
That's okay, I understand it's really not everyone's cup of tea. But no, I wrote this one for the attempted smut-off a couple of weeks ago:

A Night at the Faire
http://pastebin.com/67xuAF6D
Tags: M. Human X F. Tiefling. (rough vanilla sex/gentle femdom)

>>7131845
There are a couple: rapture, ecstasy and passion come to mind.

But yes, there are so many more words to nuance a negative feeling it isn't even funny.

>>7131941
>then get fukken TOLD by cyber arms?
>>7131945
>Azi getting slammed in the face by a cyborg arm will be the most satisfying thing snek has ever written, if he actually does that
>>7131996
>That'd be a Christmas miracle. Fucking Robocop her ass.
I'm gonna put in a fourth vote for JUSTICE ROBOARM, but I'm going to vote for Azi getting ROCK BOTTOM'd through a glass table rather than mere punching. Much more satisfying

Also, snek, I'm really liking the smut in this one so far, keep up the good work

How do you start your stories? Like, how do you write an actual intro?

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>>7132392
I find the best way to start is to just do it.
Start writing even if you don't have the best idea of where you want it to go, and more ideas will come.
Even if it sucks, at least you've gotten the ball rolling and you can revise it later if you need to.

>>7132374
It seems to be unanimous, Azi will taste the iron fist.
Sneak preview: https://youtu.be/X25OctsMuAQ [Embed]

>>7132407

>the sneak preview

I loled

>>7132407
>Sneak preview
I think you mean
>snek preview

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Requesting a story where a ss13 CE fucks a slutty scientist or engineer please.

Both human preferably.

>>7132407
Naw dude, don't change your work for your audience. They don't know shit about the craft--only robo-fist if that was originally on the table anyway.

>>7132219
I really enjoyed this one. Bittersweet but touching. If I can pull up some time, I'll do a more complete review.

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I'm the guy who dropped the idea in the last thread inspired by Taimanin Asagi. It was about an action girl princess that goes through some hardcore fucking.

Someone told me, they had no clue of my writing ability.

http://pastebin.com/JhymiZwf

Tags: Vanilla, cunnilingus, lesbian

This is a fate fanfic that's a little bit vanilla compared to the former idea. It wrote it a while back, I think my writing has improved but I haven't written adult material since then. Let me know what you think.

>>7132565
I was thinking about doing it anyway, he should be able to punch her without breaking the bone the prosthetic is anchored to, as long as there are shock absorbers in the joints, though he wouldn't be able to lift her, that would either tear all of his core muscles or just snap the arm right off his scapula.
I think it will be a good conclusion, having him overcome what she did to him and regain his self-respect through a beatdown.

Should have the next update out in about an hour.

>>7131268
asked before way back, someone mentioned they'd write something for me.

But I'm looking for male to shemale/sissy transformation without chastity. Every feminization/sissification/etc story ends up with the guy either without a penis, locked in chastity, or gelded.

This is a great example of the type of transformation story im looking for

https://www.literotica.com/s/the-transformation-device-ch-01

where the main character ends up basically as a bimbo with a cock, masturbating constantly and addicted to sex. The story itself here is kinda meh but the transformation is perfect.

>>7132576
also i have a preference for more gradual transformations so if you could recommend stories with the character having to deal with the effects of the transformation as it gets worse over time that would be awesome.

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I'm looking for quality female muscle growth stories, does anyone have any suggestions? Also willing to proofread female muscle growth content for writefags.

>>7132593
A generous offer, but sadly nobody has written anything resembling female muscle growth stories here.

>>7132595
What a shame, good fmg stories are such a rarity. Could I make a formal request and test my luck?

>>7132601
You can try, though I wouldn't hold my breath if I were you- a commission might be your best bet.

>>7132605
I'm this close to commissioning magnusmagneto just because I can't find anyone else, but his writing is mediocre at best.

>>7132608
You should wait and see if you can get a hold of D. when he next posts, not sure if he's into fmg but he's a good writer.

I have too much of a backlog to help you out right now.

>>7132610
Thanks, I'll keep an eye out.

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3500 word update, new content at “Tell me if I'm too heavy, and I'll get off.”

Finished the Kaisha sex scene which is now at 8000 words, if you want to read it from the top, go to “I guess we could...retire to the bedroom,”

Purple Heart:
http://pastebin.com/mCZ1pZkK
New tags:
>vaginal, creampie

>>7132658
Wouldn't punching her be against the narrative that kaisha tried to tell him?

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>>7132593
>>7132610
My ears are burning.

Something that has struck me about some of my writing is that I like writing about powerful women. Be they the indestructible Odile or Sly or the nearly omnipotent Katrina... that seems to be where my bag lies. Maybe it's a sideways power fantasy for me, giving them strengths in ways that are typically seen as masculine... (and it could be related to them sometimes having huge dongs, but let's not get too far into it).

Actually, I don't think I'd want to write a futa story about a woman with big muscles. Athletic is fine, but the bodybuilding type in the provided picture... combined with a penis... that sort of wrecks it for me.

Nevertheless, request away. I don't know anything about muscles, but I could learn.

>>7132750
Hello D, I'm not familiar with your work I'm afraid but don't hesitate to ask if you're looking for some constructive feedback. I'm no literary critic but I could give it a go if you feel like it could help you grow as a writer.

As for the request, since you're exploring uncharted waters I'd say have fun with it. Lingster's Buff/Nerf and Building Brand as well as Hunter S. Creek's Compounding Interest are a great place to start if you're looking for some inspiration. The first two feature instant growth while the latter deals with slow growth and gives the characters time to shine.

At it's core, the genre is pretty simple. Girl + muscle growth pills = fun. It all depends on how you treat the concept and what you do with the characters. Usually, it's the quality of the muscle growth scenes themselves and the narcissistic mirror flexing that make or break a story, but bland characters are just as bad. As long as you have clothes tightening around once slender limbs while your protagonist revels in their newfound size and strength you'll do fine. No restrictions from me, just treat it as a writing exercise and enjoy the ride.

>>7132173
I want you to know that I hate you for posting all of these at once, on a holiday no less. Regardless, it shall be done.

Fat Bottom Girls

There are a few specific things I would like to point out. In the entire first paragraph, there are three sentences. Just because you can construct a paragraph-length sentence doesn't mean you should. Similarly, all of the paragraph at 153 is rather stilted and doesn't read naturally. You may want to rephrase great portions of it. Finally, while I understand that smut writers occasionally have to venture out into uncharted waters for descriptors, but "steaming rush of sloshing goo" is a bit too far.

Other than that, there is a fair bit of repetition, as if you were trying to pad the length of scenes. The entire first scene consists of "[synonym for large] ass and [synonym for wet] pussy [synonym for drags]...". From lines 89-91, you repeat semen-slicked and cum-coated several times. While I share your appreciation for alliteration, renegade repetition is reprehensible. Consider describing by phrase (i.e. "her tentacle, coated in a thin sheen of his seed...") instead of by adjective. Some descriptions are redundant, such as the end of line 109.

Outside the overly repetitive first scene, the smut was very well done. The story and the characters jump around a bit too much (why can they only see each other once a month and why does the scylla go full ham-mode while dirty taking at the beginning?), but were otherwise enjoyable.

Rolling on to the next.

>>7132798
Any other fetishes you want me to touch on? You like girl-on-girl, guy-on-girl, girl-on-sybian?

>>7132826
Girl-on-girl sounds like fun. Lesbian muscle worship is divine.

>>7132407
>even if you don't have the best idea of where you want to go
That's the issue, I don't have an idea AT ALL.

>>7132173
Mutilated Lips:

I'm not sure if I would use those tags, since this isn't smut. In any case, this is wonderfully done. I have very little to criticize outside of some trivial errors, so have a bucket of grammatical corrections: the second sentence of 19 is a comma splice. In line 37, you should not use a colon to introduce a quotation. Drop the "s" from "calls" in lines 65 and 95. Nobody says it that way. In line 141, "neural", not "neuronic", and in line 189, "glisten" should be "glistening".

Wonderful job, though. On a similar note, you never posted it here, but I wanted to make a comment on "And None of Them Knew They Were Robots": it's never explained what happens to the souls that inhabit the bodies of the undead. One of the plot points is that no soul lives forever, yet the existence of undead proves otherwise; it's just not the same soul. Unless, of course, you mean to imply that the undead lack souls entirely, but I did not get that impression from the story.

In any case, moving on to the next.

>>7132173
Darts of Pleasure:

It's a bit short for my tastes, to be honest. I think you could have put a lot more into that scene. Manticores are excellent and don't have nearly enough content.

Technically, it's solid. I just have two overall comments. First of all, there is a lot of wasted biology in the single smut scene. You detail the tailpussy well, but she still has four other limbs and a mouth, none of which do anything. He also has a lot more to be raped than just his penis. It feels very empty as a result, particularly considering her aggressive foreplay and the species' traits. Similarly, you largely gloss over the aphrodisiac and repeated orgasms. There's a lot of opportunity there, particularly since forced ejaculations and post-orgasm sensitivity are half of the appeal of brutal manticore rape.

Honestly, it feels like there's half a story here. The plot and characters work well, and I like where it's going. I just can't help but shake the feeling that it's incomplete. You skip over huge parts of the smut, so it's incomplete as a fapfic. You also don't go very far with the characters or the story, so it's incomplete as a story that also happens to have smut in it. I think you have more than enough skill to make it a complete story in both regards, and I really have to wonder why you chose not to.

Also, I appreciate tags. I really do. The more specific, the better. Non-sexual dehydration (though I shutter to think what sexual dehydration would imply as a tag) should not be tagged. That's ridiculous.

Rolling on.

>>7132173
Epipelagic:

This story stands as an illustrative contrast to Darts of Pleasure. This is much better. The story is bare-bones, but it works. The smut is a bit short, but is well-described and satisfying. There are no real issues here. The only complaint that I have is the lack of actual intercourse. Mermaids are absolutely spectacular for intercourse-focused smut. The musculature of the tail and unique anatomy required for front-press sex provides a lot of opportunity. Also, I feel like someone as punny as you would enjoy the opportunity to make "fish out of water" metaphors.

>>7132173
Don't Fight It, Feel It:

Again, there are no technical problems here. I particularly like the premise and believe the characters have good chemistry. Overall, it's very solid.

I do have two comments about the smut, though. The first one may be slightly subjective, but I believe that the tone of the first smut scene does not match the tone of the "interrogation" leading up to it. In my opinion, you would have been better off keeping more on the side of dubcon. One of the most appealing things about femdom footjobs is the control. The woman is physically pushing down against him with a foot. This lends itself well to invoking a sense of helplessness, which would have matched the prior scene better. Instead of casting it as a reward, I would have emphasized that the elf is taking from the man. She's doing it because she wants to, and he can't do anything to stop it. I believe that path fits the scene better and also generally fulfills the fetish a bit more correctly.

Also, I believe that you need to be careful about neglecting the female component of the smut. All of the stories I have reviewed today (after the first) have essentially robotic female leads. They exist to pleasure the male and provide something sexy to imagine. Footjobs aren't just about the man. You missed an opportunity to delve into her feelings during the first scene, particularly her enjoyment for seeing him writhe. The second scene in the Blue Room could easily have had her pleasuring herself with her fingers or on his back. It never hurts to add more sex to a smut story.

>>7132173
A Beautiful Morning:

There should be no hyphen in "dark purple scaled..." or "coil pile" in line 9. In line 71, "slid" should be "slide".

I feel like this one can also use more. More everything. I know it's supposed to be a short story, but I'm terribly confused by the ad hoc combination of ancient Egypt and modern wherever. It's a bit much to just accept as a premise. I would understand the bathroom if it was just a cultural thing, but the preponderance of Egyptian motifs makes it a bit difficult to swallow. As with Darts of Pleasure, the smut here is a bit lacking. There's nothing wrong with it, it just doesn't go far enough. Unlike most of the rest of your work, it feels very formulaic. Your descriptions continue to be well done, but the scenes are basically "put penis in hole until 'steaming rush of sloshing goo'". It just makes the story feel like you wrote it in a hurry. There's really not even much to identify her as a lamia. The tail is barely mentioned, and the purple bit just fades into the background (though I did like the amythyst simile in the titjob scene). There's a lot of potential here, but it feels like you just didn't want to capitalize on it.

>>7132173
Sit Back and Relax:

This one also manages to be short and sweet without missing anything. The only problems I have with it are grammatical.

At line 11, the dash should be a colon. The first sentence of line 15 has the clauses in the wrong order. As written, it implies that it is only fortunate in the immediate present that the weapon is unneeded. I can only assume that you mean to imply that it is fortunate that it is unneeded at present. There is a minor error of number agreement in line 19. There should be no comma after "gentle" in line 21. Line 41 should read "had it not been...". You repeat "head" twice in line 53. Finally, you have a shit ton of unnecessary hyphens: "sound veil" and "micro storm" in line 7, "belt pack", "blue blobs", "cobbled together", and "poorly researched" in line 13, "olive green" in 29, and "tentacle girl" in line 51.

There, all done. Try not to post everything at once next time. It makes it harder for people to read and significantly harder for crazies like me to run through.

>>7132569
I was the one you were talking to. I just got done with Silent's half dozen stories, so I'll get to this tomorrow or so.

>>7132173
I'm going to be reading these even if it's awhile before I can comment on any of them.

Progress on my fic over the last week: I added a chapter plan, and added in a line to the first sentence.

kill me

>>7133030
Join the club, that's perfectly normal for a lot of us.

>>7132744
How so? You mean the "she didn't intend to make you feel this way" thing? It might be true but Moralez doesn't feel that way, he's still pissed about it.

>>7132744
It isn't
>bodyslam her to prove to her that you are in fact the boss here
It's
>I am going to hit you as hard as I can because I want to hurt you because you're an asshole

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>>7132658
>http://pastebin.com/mCZ1pZkK
I need to critique this sex scene you set up. You'll ave to forgive me in advance. Its quite late here so I'll have to get to it tomorrow. For now though, the blow job part could of used her size more. She could of picked him up and given him a bj instead of the very typically one you did. Size difference can lead to some fun positions that I feel you don't capitalize on enough.

>>7133163

I am in full agreement that he needs to capitalize on size differences more. I don't know if it's just me, but it feels like snek (unintentionally)writes his sex scenes with two equally sized(or near equally) characters as his mental image, then goes through and modifies details+throws in a few lines related to it to tick a "did I make sure there's size difference stuff in here" checkbox. Does anyone else see that too, or is it just me?


Snek is so packed full of potential, it's a shame to see each update have easily fixable stuff that would make them so much better.

But hey, that's why I(well, not just me of course) constantly spam him with ideas/suggestions/corrections. It's nice to know that he'll always give a shit and honestly try, even if he doesnt always get it perfectly.

>>7132658
Is it weird I as hoping He had a rape ptsd episode when she got on top of him?

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>>7133163


Found the higher res versions of these images, this shit is a gold mine for size difference writing, especially for snek as that size difference isnt too far off of what he's writing

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And the 2nd pic.

Also, question for you Snek:

What physical traits do polars find sexy in each gender?(If you list nothing but normal and common human stuff, I'm disowning you)

>>7133200
No, that's a normal hope. It would've/could've lead to a longer and deeper character development for both Moralez and Kaisha, but I think that would've drawn out the story farther than what snekguy was going for.

>>7133134
Today's messege is justice. Brought to you by strong ass Robohands.

>>7133214
*led

>>7132658
Moralez is now owned by a giant cat lady. All he had to do was get raped and lose his limbs. Seems like a decent exchange.

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>>7132929
>>7132920
>>7132903
>>7132892
>>7132871
>>7132849
>>7132804
Oh my Christmas bell-ringing Christ.

Too be honest, I was hoping that the abundance of stories would serve as a sort of 'tag net' to increase the chances of at least one of them being reviewed based on fetishes alone. But once again, HCPG goes above and beyond like a 155mm howitzer shot and blows all my expectations away. Seriously bud, I fear for you safety; someone this godlike must face constant threats from radicalist sects for being a false prophet.

And the best part is I have nothing to take away from this but pure knowledge. Even if I wanted to make excuses, there are none here to make. You got down to the nitty and the gritty and handled it all splendidly, even helping me find out about questionable habits I didn't even realize I had – like yeah, I really should take it easy on those hyphenated adjectives.

Again, I can't thank you enough for all the work you've done for me over the past eleven(!) months. I wish there was something else I could do for you besides becoming less of a hack (since I'm trying to do that anyways), but – save for a PayPal donation – I don't really have anything worth offering.

Bottom line is: you're a treasure, bud. You're one of the helpers Fred Rodgers told me all about. I aspire to one day be amazing like you.

Or at least okay like you.

>>7132964
Sick thanks bud.

Any stories involving someone being put into the body of a female robot?

>>7132744
I'd imagine Raz would try to assert herself over him again and he has to lay the smackdown on her. Not just outright punch her next time they meet.

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BONDAGE as Fashion clothes
> (No Change yet Edition)


Description :
A park-city where young women fashion started integrating bondage aspect and are as popular as high-heels, corset or unpractical dress.
For example, a swimsuit can look like this pict, and it is trendy to have tan-lines that are bondage-looking

In that world it's not abnormal for for a tube dress to be molded to keep a women arm sensually along her body and be only removable by essentially undressing herself.
More practical, a good pullover would typically be made so it's fabric can be tightened in way akin to shibari.
A classy dress could also integrate a fancy head-harness made to tighten the lips of your beloved shut should one of you intend to send a silent message.

A sport jacket on the other hand would integrate a system of string that when pulled forcedly fold the wearers arms together.
A denim-short would sell with assorted cuffs
while a cheerleader would typically wear finger-less 'bondage' glove.
This of course spilled out on everything, spiderweb looking bed with self-straps, videogame "The Elders Ropes : Subrim", college sport...


Remember : no change (yet) in that link, I'm just looking for return and ideas on how to make it more ...relatable, trying to avoid rapey stuff.
Plus it's motivating to get feedback

Link :
http://pastebin.com/xdUgquEy

>>7131535
where's chapter 1?

>>7133193
>>7133202
Did they intentionally make her look like Rose Quartz? That's pretty funny.

I feel like I've done most of these in my stories, besides feed tugging and footjobs which aren't really my thing. Do I just not do a good job of illustrating the size difference? I tried to add in stuff like, mentioning that he only comes up to her tits when they're sat together, and I try to emphasize how heavy she is, I have her pick him up and throw him around and stuff.

>>7133163
I figured the foot long, prehensile tongue would make that non-typical, or are you just talking about the size difference?
If you guys have any suggestions I can always go back and add in more stuff, it won't be finalized until the ebook is out.

I did try to make this scene fairly vanilla (as far as Borealans go) to differentiate it from the rape scene, did I go too far in the opposite direction?

>>7133207
You mean in humans or in other Borealans?
They like that human tongues are smooth, which makes oral sex more feasible, they like the size difference because it adds to the sexual tension when someone half their size and weight is mouthing off to them. They like how humans taste and smell, and I assume that varies from person to person. Human anatomy is fairly similar to their own so I guess being in shape and well-kempt wins you points too.
It's a lot more cultural/psychological than physical with Borealans.

Request fulfilled during our writing stream :)

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1NV8l9PMcG8k_I_QAOvXJo75OzARHQzL2_dj8CjHjYAc/edit?usp=sharing

Original request details were
>>40738943*


Requesting a story about a beefcake Paladin that meets a monstergirl in the woods. Instead of smiting her, he sees goodness in her heart and takes her home. Eventually he falls in love with her, but is conflicted because his paladinhood demands chastity. Ends in sweet lovemaking, perhaps with post-sex guilt on the pally's part.

>>7133571
Oh I was suggestion. Maybe have her pick him up and give him oral. You did a good job with to top stuff. You could do a better job of him interacting with with her huge tits. Feels like those large gals don't get enough suckage.

Lastly you might should of made it less vanilla. You built to him liking the femdom. So the healing would be to have her in charge but it's consensual and healing his perception of liking it?

Love your stuff dude. There's always room for improvement.

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>>7133683
You know, with some tweaking I might be able to modify the whole BJ scene to have her lifting him up, I like the idea a lot.
I'll look into it.

>>7132658
Plot twist: she gets pregnant

>>7133559
Still unfinished, sadly. But since each chapter is pretty much stand-alone, I post them whenever I finish one.

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>>7133202
>>7133207
>>7133163

I knew something felt off

>>7133686
I got an idea you might like. Moralez needs Anaesthesia for pain and Kaisha takes full advantage of him while he's all droopy and partially retarded from it.

>>7133785
Not sure I can fit that in, I want to wrap up the story fairly soon, but seen as the Kaisha sex scene is supposed to be the big payoff, I want to make sure it's the best I can make it.

>>7133785
Ok, tell me how these edits sound:
http://pastebin.com/sRRVpVUM

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>>7133809
It's perfect.

>>7133819
noice

On to the shower scene then, I figure he can't walk around the station stinking of Polar cum, and he wouldn't bathe in her apartment without her joining in.
That way I can fit in some more of the aforementioned large gal suckage too.

>>7133763
It's his redo of it. The older does look better though.

>>7132569
As promised, I gave it a read.

There are a few fairly minor, easily corrected errors here. I know lesbian smut is hard to write, but you should really, really avoid repetition of names. It breaks the flow and starts to get rather annoying. Most of the time, if it is a one-sided scene (one girl servicing another, like you have here), context alone should allow the reader to parse ambiguous pronouns without issue. When this is not possible, naming the women by descriptors also works just fine. Your dialogue also changes tone rather quickly. It varies from a fairly normal conversational tone to almost comically over-the-top faux fancy-speak. While consistency is most important, be very careful of making your dialogue too cheesy. There's a difference between "stiff and archaic" and "middle school theater". Some of Saber's lines drift much too close to the latter. Also, the scene break accomplishes nothing. Just because you can split a scene doesn't mean you should.

Unfortunately, this does suffer from a critical, if common flaw. It's dry as hell. All of your smut boils down to actions, with absolutely no attention to the finer, sexier points. "Girl 1 does x to Girl 2's naughty bits" does not good smut make. Written smut lives and dies by detail, the overwhelming bulk of which should be about senses and reactions. What you have here is the literary equivalent to that guy who made a machine that rammed a dildo into an onahole. Read a lot more written smut (anything without any pictures) and you'll see what I'm talking about. Shifting the focus away from the action really makes all the difference.

The story itself is also incredibly wooden, suffering from the same pervasive lack of detail as the smut. It looks like an outline, rather than a finished story. The best way to describe it is the cliche "show, don't tell". You are (presumably) perfectly capable of understanding a person's feelings from the way they act. Just work backwards.

>>7133822
Don't forget worshipping all of the woman woof. Just because she doesn't have bare skin doesn't mean you can worship those strong thighs and muscles.

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>>7133959
Ok, 2000 word update, and also the revised blowjob scene. New content at "He returned the greeting".

Purple Heart:
http://pastebin.com/mCZ1pZkK
New tags:
>bathing, massage

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>>7134029
So how advanced are Moralez' prosthetic's? Does he have Adam Jensen tier? I keep picturing his prosthetic's looking similar to Specters.

>>7134030
Yeah I took inspiration from the TF2 pilots. Love that design.
They're probably somewhere between TF2 and Deus Ex.

>>7132593
>>7132750
>>7132798

OK, this is officially happening. Can't guarantee when it'll be done. It's going mighty slowly right now, as this isn't a fetish I really have. But I hope I can come up with something entertaining.

>>7134029
If girls didn't get fat faces when overweight like in my Indonesian charcoal sketches, I'd be a lot more okay with more chubby chicks.

How is everyone's fic's going?

>>7133686
As long as there's no snowballing with guys involved.

>>7134284
Slow, but progress is being made. I'll try to have something presentable within the next couple of threads.

>>7134284
Passed 50k words, probably a few days off the ending.

>>7134284
I've had to give my story a bit of break because a bunch of stuff is due in my classes this week

>>7134284
Glacially. Work-related travel put me back about two months. I've written three incomplete stories because my interest is drifting between stories. Now that I finally got settled into what I want to write right now, the holidays are starting. Even still, I'm going to try to get something out in the next couple weeks. I'm bribing myself with a bottle of Redbreast cask strength.

>>7133571


I meant polars on other polars, yeah.

>>7134325
That would be scent, quality of fur, breeding/bloodline, social standing. I imagine they're into that kind of thing, wouldn't surprise me if they kept careful track of their lineage to avoid inbreeding, because their population is relatively small.
The usual Borealan stuff applies too, but it wouldn't be as strong in Polars.

>>7134330


Only two of those are physical traits!

>>7134332
Well scent and breeding are physical, you mean visual? Breeding will reflect in their physical appearance, note that Ursi has very clean, white fur with fewer markings compared to the others, which was selected for, ergo a Polar could look at her and tell at a glance that she comes from a good bloodline, making her desirable.

>>7134284
Going slowly.

Anyone have a new entry for Olympic Beasts?

>>7134341
No but I want to volunteer the name 'Olympic Beasts and Where to Fuck Them", if it hasn't been suggested already.

>>7134345
That is the full title. I've just been shortening it to Olympic Beasts, despite my love of long titles.

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>>7134349
Then you have trounced me in the realm of bad puns.

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>>7134341
Um, I don't have an entry, but I do have a request. It involves bestiality though, so I'm not sure if that's allowed here, or if there's anyone who writes that sort of thing.

The short version is one of the centaur competitors is running with a herd of horses to get used to how her new body works, and one of her opponents ties her up to be used by all the stallions. Queue the centaur liking it and coming back to the horses on her own, possibly with some more permanent repercussions.

>>7134336


Visual is how you see pshysical traits. Breeding/bloodline would cause specific physical traits to happen, which is what I'm thinking of.

Either way, I take it polars are alot more boring than humans are in terms of what is attractive to them. Hmm..

>>7134378
I dunno, I assume they have their own personal quirks and tastes.
If you asked "what is attractive to humans" we'd be here for a week.

But yeah I would emphasize breeding and scent above all else, as well as the usual physical attributes like rockin' cans or wide hips, as they would have evolved those for a reason.

>>7134371
That's not really in the spirit of the original request, since it's not explicitly consensual. The requester made that part clear.

If someone wanted to write that up separately, or if you could be walked back on the non-consensual part, that could do fine. I've got too many stories going right now to take it on either way.

>>7134384


Hey hey, I'd gladly be here for a week of what polars like. I may or may not need that information for several undisclosed purposes that are definitely not writing related.

>>7134395
Well, if you put me on the spot, I'm gonna go with:

-Scent (keeping in mind there are many complexities humans cannot pick out with our dull noses). Their bathing culture is important and they apply lots of products to their bodies, soaps, perfumes, etc. How other Polars smell would be immediately apparent to other members of their race.

-Breeding, evidence of a good lineage, encompassing many physical attributes.

-Color and quality of the fur, where purer shades of white and fewer markings are considered attractive, and dirtier shades of white and grey with more markings are uglier. Well groomed, clean fur is preferred.

-Basic physical features like large breasts, wide hips, analogous to standard human attraction.

-Social standing, with those of lower rank eager to make themselves available to those they deem of higher rank or class. This could potentially be communicated through demeanor or attitude, for example a particular confidence.

-Strength, size, aggression, but on a lower level than Equatorials, as most of their power struggles and social maneuvering is resolved through manipulation and other more cerebral means.

>>7133956
>> you should really, really avoid repetition of names.

It's been stated by others that have edited my work that having a person have to be referred to by a different name every sentence gets on people's nerves. There's a reason I didn't change the names.

Also, the scene break accomplishes nothing. >>Also, the scene break accomplishes nothing. Just because you can split a scene doesn't mean you should.

Really? What do you think happened between that line before and after that break?

>>The best way to describe it is the cliche "show, don't tell".

If all that was seen were actions, when did I tell anything?

The rest of your analysis is accurate. I'll adjust.

>>7134435


It's my civic duty to put you on the spot. [spoiler]sorry :c[/spoiler]

Also, with that list being said, one thing I am curious about:

Weight. With their extra fat basically omnipresent on every polar, do polars see it different than equitorials?

>>7133956
Actually ignore that last response. I misunderstood the concept.

>>7134497
Generally animals are attracted to traits that denote fertility or fitness, and in the case of Polars, fat would be a signifier of fitness, as if would imply they had access to resources and food, and could more easily survive the cold.
I wouldn't go as far as to say fatter = better, but I would certainly expect their ideal body type to be on the fatter end of the spectrum.

>>7134494
Changing names every sentence is annoying, which is why I said that it should be done as a final measure to avoid repeating the same names too often. Rely on context, not on naming, for the bulk.

I may have been a bit unclear. There was no need for a back-and-forth time jump. The story begins with smut, then jumps to what happened immediately beforehand, before resuming the scene where it left off. This style accomplishes nothing. If you meant to convey something by doing so, I missed it, which likely means that it's not very clear (or I had a moment of temporary stupidity).

>>7134502
I'm assuming you're referring to the "show, don't tell" principle. Good, I was really not relishing having to explain it. It's a pain in the ass without giving examples.

>>7134506


That makes chubbier Ursi make even more sense now that I think about it. In fact, I could see it on Alphas/leadership in general, since a leader would have the lion's share of any food that comes in, would they not?

Either way, excellent. This will certainly change a few things I was planning.

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Meanwhile, on Flockmod...

>>7134507
Ok. The scene could be could have been reorganized, I think I was starting media res.

>>7134509
Yeah, they're fairly pudgy in general, and I can see leadership being fatter, though obesity would be uncommon due to the harsh environment, they shouldn't become so fat that it hampers their ability to move around.

Is this for your upcoming commission or are you working on something yourself?

>>7134523


Little of column A and B. I havent actually written anything yet but I do have some plans.

>>7134520
Starting with smut is fine, as is some amount of skipping. You just need to be careful to not disturb the flow of the story or confuse your readers.

However, splitting up smut is a really bad idea. Nobody wants to be pants down, trying to figure out where the hell the smut is.

>>7134529

I don't plan on doing that for sex scenes. That fate fic was an experment. A two sentence idea expanded upon. I was still developing my system for writing chapters.

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Story request.

Kaine is an intersex from the game NIER and in one of the lore books, shegets horny and starts jerking off with her demon hand(Someone know where an online version is available.) a woman happens by and gets freaked out over this and runs off. My request is where she sticks around and helps Kaine get off by blowjob/sex. NO violence but hard fucking(Cowgirl/Piledriver)

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>>7133602
Eh, I'll check it out.
>A Not So Wicked Web
Ohmyyes

>Then he looked over to his side and looked into the six wide eyes of an Arachne woman.
MFW

I liked it and where it's going. Wouldn't mind a sequel.
As far as spelling & grammar go I only noticed this.
>She could drive him wild sometimes when he would disrobe
Just seemed a bit odd to me on the first pass. Not sure if it was intentional.

>>7133602
Serious question, why do you stream writing? It's not even like streaming art where there's visual interest.

>>7134643
Honestly? If its just "write whenever" people tend to fuck with you and get you to do things, but if it's more of a "thing" like "Hey I'm streaming for the next 4 hours" People tend to leave you alone and also its easier for the writer to focus on what to do.

We also chat and act like goobers in the voice chat and play back some music :D

>>7134630
We're also working on another spider story, someone wanted a story about a guy drider trying to attract a humanoid female by dancing i believe?

>>7134435
I'd imagine polars would be buying all the hair dyes they could on the internet by the tonne.

Excuse me, I'm writing a little story about a vampire preying on a girl. The vampire is based on my take of a clan from World of Darkness. Is this the right place to share it when I'm finished?

>>7135117
If it is erotic and it is fiction, then yes.

>>7134108
Thank you and good luck. I'll keep an eye out.

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Hello everyone!
Amateur writer here! I'm a writing major, but I've never actually written lewd fiction since I'm a lazy ass most of the time. Anyway, I'm looking to start now and I'd like some ideas on what to include in my first work. What fetishes and genres would have a decent niche, for example. I'm going to be making a tumblr or some type of blog so I can stay in communication with everyone. Cheers!

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>>7135387
*Readerbase, I meant

>>7135387
>>7135390
Ironically enough given the board this is situated on, vanilla is one of the most popular ones, especially of the monstergirl variety if you're so inclined.

That being said, quite a few niches (e.g. mind control, transformation, etc.) are wide open for the taking- if you need specifics, check the request doc in the OP.

>>7135387
Fetishes?

Hm, big boobs, moderate amount of muscle, tentacles, femsub (possibly via mind control or mind break)

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>>7135387
Pretty much this >>7135395

Monster girls/ guys, or regular Monsters you might find in a typical fantasy setting. Sci-fi alien encounters.
Stories about people that are out of place setting wise and trying to adapt to the local "normal" seem to popup.

Basically anything exotic that at its core boils down to vanilla romance tends to be popular. Though that's no reason not to try other things, you just may not get as many comments right away.

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I'm doing a femdom, forced fem story


what scenarios would you like to see?

>>7135538
Supervillainess on Superheroine, possibly with henchmen.
supervillainess corrupts superheroine to the dark side.

>>7135543
That's not what forced fem is, retard

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>>7135395
>>7135398
>>7135483

Thanks for the replies! I guess I'll be doing themes/fetishes I'm most familiar with such as femdom, futas, domination/reversal, exhibitionism, fantasy themes. Once I've gotten practice, I'll move on to more niche/exotic fetishes. Anyone have any specific ideas or plots in mind?

>>7135070
That's an interesting thought.

I've been super busy today and didn't have time to get much writing done, but I'll get an update out tomorrow.

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>>7135538
Would like a femdom story starring Syaro from Gochiusa with anal, butt focus and leg/feet work in this outfit with me.

She's usually embarassed in this topic, but I'd like her to get more confident about herself and be more like that femdom thought you want to write.

Would like it to be without any /d/ fetishes, not with strange fetishes.

First half of this doujin would be a good reference: https://nhentai.net/g/164104/

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>>7135587
more references

>>7135587
>>7135593
there was nothing in your post about forced fem, at all.

can people not read a goddamn sentence

>>7135602
READ THE ORIGINAL POST RETARD
>>7135538

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>>7135387
>>7135390

Girls having positive experiences (fun, cute, sensual, magical, painless, non-coercive, non-humiliating, controllable, temporary, etc) with monstergirl transformation is pretty underserved.

The appeal to me is in girls taking a break from civilization and getting closer to nature, to do things and go places that humans couldn't easily. (Whereas most TF fans are in it for horror or as part of transgender fantasy.)

>>7135598
I'm okay with forced femdom too, lighter tho. I just wanted to express if it could be as near as I asked.

>>7135618
Forced fem means forced feminization. Not Forced Femdom.

>>7135620
it's okay if it only includes anal penetration with a strap-on and loads of abuse from her I suppose, but I'll let you write whatever you want. I would like my scenario to be in the story tho.

>>7135627
What?

mate i don't think you get what i'm writing here

>>7135629
oh, sorry if I made a mistake you can ignore it then. I'll let my request >>7135587 here for anyone who wants to do it.

>>7135635
For future reference, he means stuff like turning guys into traps and making them act like girls.

Hey, I've created a Writing thread in /h/ in case you guys want to write something there or want to pass by.

>>4455319
>>4455319
>>4455319

>>>/h/4455319
>>>/h/4455319
>>>/h/4455319

>>7135658
Good luck with that, there's like zero interest in anything that isn't an imagedump over there.

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>>7135613
>girls taking a break from civilization and getting closer to nature, to do things and go places that humans couldn't easily.
Like Frosted Rapes?

>>7135695
I need the source on that for reasons.

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>>7135701
Kouya ni Kemono Doukokusu. Only the first 5 issues are translated I believe. Character in question doesn't show up until 15 parts in? I don't know, I never got that far. The entire manga more violent/gory than I care for.

/jp/ dubbed the character Frosted Rapes. You can find more in their archives.

>>7135719
Alright, thanks!

>>7135483
The most popular are "vanilla, but with X", where X is something out of the box, perhaps /d/-related.

>>7135613
>sensual, magical, painless... transformation is pretty underserved
That's the most usual kind of transformation, though. It might be coercive, uncontrollable, and permanent, but so much TFaggotry that I've seen draws out the transformation process as an erotic, often orgasmic, experience.

>>7135387
My biggest turn-on is everyone having a good time; I'm disgustingly vanilla. A strong emotional connection to back the smut gets the juices flowing like you wouldn't believe.

Other than that: hetero, lesbian, magic, futa, reverse trap. I'm pretty down for anything not involving violence or scat.

>>7135880
Not the guy you're responding to, but the story I'm working on now includes everything on that list. It leans strongly towards rapey, but I'd hardly call any of it violent (at least not erotically so), the overall tone is bright, and there is certainly no scat. I haven't finished anything in four months, so I'm making a point to run this one through to the end.

>>7135613
I'm planning this but it's some 6 or so chapters into a fic that I'm just trying to start.

Girl has to have her relationship start, then meet magic guy, then hook up her friend with magic guy, THEN get the temp tf so she can look at her BF without him turning to dust for the evening.

I just wanted a monsterboy and an enthusiastic girl, and I've dreamed myself up a much larger narrative.
Snek might have poisoned me.

>>7135695
>>7135719

That's what I picture in my mind when reading some of Snekguy's stories.

>>7135387

Perverted love story with character development and characters retaining agency thoughout the story.

Pick a fetish that you're most comfortable with and has audience. Listen to feedback, but avoid filling the story with too many distractions. Stay true to your vision.

>>7136003

Snek has unintentionally turned so many people in this thread furry it's not even funny. Anytime you see someone complaining about furries or shittalking them out of nowhere, you know you've got a fresh newbie in the ranks.

It's fucking hilarious.

Alright Snek and /d/, check out these quick edits I did from the latest update from Snek. I've been bugging him about not assuming the reader can see what's in his head, and want him to start fleshing his details out more so that the reader has a better mental image of what's going on. Here's what I've got:

http://pastebin.com/VKyzmxJG

Does anyone think I'm overdoing the amount of detail? Or are the details in my edits helping to create a better mental image of the situation?(It goes from snek version to my version on each one)

Snek, I especially want to hear from you of course, but I'm interested in /d/'s opinion too. I just edited 2 paragraphs, so it's not a long read if anyone is worried about that.

>>7132849
>but I did not get that impression from the story.
I was hoping to ask this in the second salvo, but I'll just ask it now. How did you get that impression?

>>7136003
>>7136345
It's funny, I tried 'so' hard to make the Borealans non-furry, stressed over it for ages, then I decided to include a sub-race who would only get one scene in Fineprint as kind a shout out to my FA readers.

Suddenly everyone wants more, Ursi becomes the main love interest by popular demand, and then all the requests and commissions I've gotten since have been for Polars.

>>7136287
It's honestly quite a lot better than the design I went with, but oh well. That's why I'm not a mangaka.

>>7136424
It's good, I guess I just have to keep working on my descriptive writing. A lot of that stuff hadn't even occurred to me. Maybe I should read some kind of resource for that and try to apply it.

What did you think of the BJ scene edit by the way? >>7133809

Feel free to send me your commission info by the way, Shiny. I've restocked my energy drinks and I'm determined to get Purple Heart finished this week, and try to get yours done before Christmas.

>>7136580
I'm curious what the next comm you have lined is. I know one after sounds good.

>>7136738
Not sure yet, probably something to do with Polars I'd guess.

>>7136580

Shiny posting from phone here, I enjoy the scene quite much and feel you did a great job with the descriptions there.

As for the commission details, there going to take a bit to type up since this is going to use entirely new characters and a new setting instead of just being a continuation of the story. I have a feeling it's gonna be a long commission, so I'm going to be paying you every X amount of words instead of everything at the end. We'll hash out more details through email.

>>7136738

I'll go ahead and nip this in the bud for anyone who's wondering, my commission is going to be heavily story based. If sex winds up being in it, it'll be because snek let it happen naturally instead if trying to force it in.

That being said, I guess a good summary would be something like:

A marine pisses off the wrong person in top brass, and winds up getting stationed at a long abandoned base out in the polar zone of the Borelean homeworld. A pack of polars who live nearby catch him trying to commit suicide, and wind up adopting him into their pack. The story will be about the events and struggles of both sides as they try to adapt to each other's way of life(made much harder as none of the polars speak English)

>>7136891
Sounds like a challenge, but I'm up for it!
To be honest I can use the break after 11,000 words of uninterrupted bonking, which I have just wrapped up.

>>7136893
Post it then. I need this.

>>7136891
I can see things going a very lewd route. I hope it does. My mind is swirling with possibilities.

Also, hey, its the idea I had before too. Just made more interesting.

>>7136901
It's on the way, I'll probably be done within the hour.

>>7136893

Oh I promise, it'll definitely be a challenge. Hopefully a fun challenge, but one nonetheless.

I think the alpha of the pack is gonna be a blast to write, he's the reason the pack is trying to save the human as he's more of a loving father type of alpha and sees anyone in his pack as his own children(partially because his own were killed, along with his mate) for him to care for and protect. The decision to adopt the marine went from "if" to "when" the exact second the alpha found out a human was living in that abandoned base by himself.

To say there will be a lot of emotions flying around the story is an understatement. You're gonna be in for a wild ride snek, lol.

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>>7136901
>>7136914
2500 word update, new content starts at "Even when suspended in the water they were incredibly heavy"

Purple Heart:
http://pastebin.com/mCZ1pZkK
New tags:
>leg locking, dirty talk

>>7136580
Retcon them to be non-furry. The massive amount of butthurt will be hilarious.

>>7136943

Counterpoint: Retcon the equatorials to become frosted rapes. They'll look way better and you're guaranteed to have even more butthurt generate than the other option.

>>7136345
I just edit the parts I don't like in my brain. It's only a problem when there's purple prose involving a furry feature like fur or muzzles.

>>7136971

I take it you're not a fan of polars then?

>>7136580
>It's funny, I tried 'so' hard to make the Borealans non-furry, stressed over it for ages, then I decided to include a sub-race who would only get one scene in Fineprint as kind a shout out to my FA readers.

You fool! Everyone knows that the insatiable nature of furries means that once you show receptivity to them, they'll never, ever stop asking for more.

In other words, you've pretty much doomed yourself into writing nothing but polars for the foreseeable future.

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>>7135695
Where's you get those scans? They seem better than those I have.

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>>7137002

>>7136989
Well they're fun to write, so I can't complain.

>>7137002
>>7137003
The multi-breast kind of ruins it for me, but I will still reluctantly get off to this.

>>7136989

Coincidentally, furries have given him the most support out of his fanbase and are the only ones giving him money, if my facts are correct.

I can't say I blame snek for taking that path, I know I sure as fuck would have if I was a NEET. If you want more nonfurry content from him, request and/or commission it.

>>7137007
It wasn't really a conscious decision, but it does seem to be what the majority of my readers want me to write about.
Though Purple Heart is made up of several requests from /efg/, the original pitch was "human otaku polar medic".

What are some places that host lots of smut that I can go through? I've gone through the master smut list, the foundry literotica, partially ao3, and touchfluffy tail, and I'm wondering if there's other stuff I missed.

>>7137022
Give StoriesOnline.net a try, you have to make an account though, which is a bit gay.

>>7137024
Eeh, hf hides shit if you don't make an account. I think futanaripalace doesn't even let you in but there's surprisingly little good content there that isn't on other sites, although the good stories are pretty good. Like damn how hard can it be to find good futa content on a futa site? It's pretty surprising how little there is in proportion to het when it always seemed to me to be popular from how prevalent it is on this board.

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>>7136287
I picture that and this sketch of Raz.

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>>7137039
That's from an unrelated webcomic I believe, though it's pretty accurate to how I imagine her.
I have no claim on alien catgirls, the trope goes back at least as far as Outlaw Star to my knowledge, probably earlier, but I hope the cultural aspects of Borealans make them stand out a little.

I do have a commission of some Raz art in the works, but the artist is taking his sweet time to get back to me about it.

>>7137003
This would be perfect for a demonstration of the 'how to sex a giantess' pics.

Cute, kind of shy girl is in a crime fighting group/superheroesque team as their tech/communications girl (doesn't go on missions or actually do anything dangerous). She's the youngest member (about 19-20, other members in their late twenties-forties) and is an out lesbian but is really embarrassed/ashamed of it and is extremely sexually repressed. One day their main enemy/supervillain/whatever decides to get at the group by kidnapping the girl and having her get gangraped by a bunch of succubuses (not futas) which turns her into a succubus also. (So ass and hip growth, breast growth, tail/horns/wings etc). Not just transformation but corruption/mind break because by the end she's an ultra slutty lesbo evil succubus and joins the other side to her old teammate's horror. Would be great if the succubuses constantly degraded her during the rape e.g. calling her a dyke, saying on what a slut she is and the like. Method of rape can be anything as long as at some point she is forced to swallow the succubuses girl cum which starts the transformation. Everything the succubuses do would be incredibly arousing to the girl and she is physically/instinctually turned on but is disgusted with herself for it and tried to deny it to herself. The kidnapper main villain whatever guy is also there as a voyeur, commenting/giving suggestions to add to the humiliation aspect but he doesn't join in.

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>>7135387
>>7135555
I made a tumblr so I can put my stories up there and keep in touch with you guys. It's empty for now but I'll be making posts after finals :)

http://missylewd.tumblr.com

>>7136455
The existence of a soul, to me, implies the universality thereof. If living beings have souls, it is only natural that anything else with intelligence and emotion has a soul. If you intended differently when you wrote it, it's probably simply a cultural difference. I must ask, however, what the purpose of a soul is if not to define a person and his/her emotions? It is clear from the cutaway to the lich that she still feels like a human. Does this not mean that she has a soul?

>>7137085
Is this supposed to be a request?

>>7137005
>multi-breast kind of ruins it for me
How can such a good writer have such shit taste

I was basically headcannoning the boraelians as GW Charr before the official looks. More a xenophile thing than a furry thing; I prefer my alien girls more alien than fuzzy humans.

>>7137219

He did mention he still gets off to it, to be fair

>>7137228
Well he isn't getting off with the right mindset, and that upsets me.

Anyways, Snek, what plans if any are there for a Krell or Tentacle Jew fic in the near future? I'd really enjoy seeing you work with another species in Pinwheel and I hope you don't get commission-chained to cats

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>>7137219
I dunno, I feel like alien reptiles can deviate further than aliens with fur from human beauty standards and still be attractive, though I may be biased because I own dogs and cats and I know how gross fur maintenance can be.

>>7137272
That's kind of happening at the moment lol, but I do have big plans for the Krell fic and the introduction of the Brokers.
The Krell are just gonna go into total orgy mode and nobody is gonna be able to tell what's what or who is which gender, as they change on the fly like frogs.

I've been lurking the scalie thread on /trash/for inspiration.

>>7137296
>as they change on the fly like frogs.
I imagine in a developed civilization a species that developed from something like this, where the change comes by necessity of reproduction, would simply have people having a preferred sex to live as and breed with.
presumably it would also mean no human idea of gender roles, except in the transhuman sense of it being no more important than a preference for a type of clothing.

so I suppose the idea I'm getting at is you could have a human/krell relationship and you wouldn't have to worry about your Krell GF growing a dick all of a sudden, but she wouldn't have any objections to doing so occasionally if you were interested in it.

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>>7137314
The way I have it planned out right now is that they change based on population density, so if you have a bunch of male Krell with no females around, when it's mating season one or more are going to start changing into females. Vice versa, if you have a bunch of females and no males, one of them is going to sprout a cock and go to town on the rest of them.

I figure humans don't know about this because mating seasons come perhaps once a decade, as like many reptiles Krell are very long-lived, and so far they've been big, happy, functional retards who don't really communicate well, if at all.

So the all-male Krell population on Pinwheel starts creating hundreds of little lizard babies and nobody can figure out why, so once they figure out what's going on, they have to send a science team to the Krell homeworld to work out a solution.

When they arrive of course it's mating season, and it's a fucking free for all, so then I can throw everything in there, male on trap, futa on female, female on female, trap on female, male on futa, futa on trap, there will be transitional forms, varying levels of development, the only limit will be our sick, sick perversions!

I don't usually like futa but this scenario is too fun to exclude it.

>>7137323
will the rest of their bodies change according to which sex they are at the moment, or is it just the genitals?

>>7137326
I'm thinking fairly significant sexual dimorphism, females will be smaller and slimmer, with smoother scales, there's no reason for egg-layers not to have birthing hips, but I'm a bit conflicted on the boobs.

That way there will be "trap" transitional forms going from male to female, that despite still retaining their male organs, are slimming and changing shape and taking on female sexual roles.

Conversely there can be females who are becoming masculine and aggressive, and starting to develop their male organs.

There can be a whole spectrum of different transitional forms, there's no rules for it really, pretty much anything can be justified.

>>7137323
>>7137326

Yeah, if krell lack boobs entirely I and probably many other readers will be very sad.

>>7137331
I'm very 50/50 on the boobs, I talked to the scalies on /trash/ about it, and most agree that boobs on reptiles are a no-no, though some thought that having 'fatty deposits on the chest' that serve as pseudo-tits was an appropriate compromise.

In this case it may be a good idea to have boobs just for the sake of accentuating the dimorphism.

>>7137333
but can you even write a sex scene without mentioning nipples? /s

>>7137323
So the Krell aren't very advanced on their own world then? I guess that would be a good way to be able to have them falling into their base biology.
Biotech, if they have any, would probably be able to 'lock' them into a gender with some pheromone trickery or something once station command discovers things.

>>7137333
no pseudotits please. beyond the point that 'accentuating the dimorphism' seems counter-productive to some of the intent of the fic, it's just really really bad for the fiction's universe integrity.
If tits are absolutely necessary (they aren't, ass is many times over a better substitute) then go with the IRL Viper reason of muscle boobs. Or just have them have big lizard abs and make them sensitive enough to be stimulated.

just making everything "lol tits" is a gross waste of usable difference in species that is the life of xenophilia fics, and if these threads are too cat-tat drunk to appreciate that then just post the fic in /trash/ and let the plebs starve for their bad taste.

>>7137335
What do you have against nipples, man?

>>7137338
Not him but it's a cop out that distracts from using the alien biology itself for titillation.
you don't need meat nubs, you can easily have sensitive scale patches in places over the body. neck/chin, under tail, maybe 'chest' scales if you need to be able to >caress scaly chest

basically places that would be covered/defended you can have be sensitive spots and by that have them be part of erotic scenes.

>>7137348
Oh that's a good idea, see this is why I talk to you guys about these things.

>>7137348
Ok so what we're talking is something like this for the females?

>>>/trash/6529139

I can dig it.

>>7137337


Or he could not listen to you and put tits in anyway. In fact, get this:

He stressed more than once how there's room for pretty much anything, so you can have Krell with AND without tits. No need to choose.

>>7137372
Miura are definitely a good refrence yes. While I imagine Krell are significantly more bulky and hard (I am imagining something very crocodile-like, ala Renekton from League) you still have easy use of soft underbellies and joints.

>>7137374
I have a particular commitment to lobby for keeping a reptilian species reptilian. Call it my fetish for solid worldbuilding; I once wrote a race of monogender golems and devised what kind of erotica would arise from their culture based on what they were sensitive to.

On the subject of krell Variance though: if you're going to have Krell be capable of extreme variance and 'shifting' then you have a lot more room to throw in odd subraces and trats that just didn't get lifted off of their homeworld.
I'd advise against a the 'subrace' route though, since it would come worryingly close to a rehash of Fineprint.

>>7136938

>no wet pussy joke.

thoroughly disapointed.

>>7137399


While I don't have any taste for flatbreasted builds, with how much room there is for tastes of all kinds in that fic, I certainly hope to see them in the story, if that helps you understand my stance on the matter. I personally think boobs dont fit on reptiles too, but that doesnt mean they can't look great on them when they do get slapped on.

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>>7131268
well let's see. been posting my stories (mostly wrestling and fight stuff, more to come) on here
http://luffy316.blogspot.com/


and as the latest post says, I put up an ebook on Amazon this week about Heranes, a sort of step-sister to Hercules who fights and fucks her way through trials to earn her right to become a goddess

>>7137374
In this case I'm inclined to agree that tits on lizards probably doesn't fly, but I'm leaning towards giving the females fatty chests, not distinctly breasts, no nipples, but fat deposits that make them soft and touchable while retaining a mostly flat-chested appearance.

I won't be starting work on this for at least six weeks though so there's plenty of time to flesh out the details.

>>7137399
Yeah standard male Krell are just bipedal crocodiles, but I really like the contrast of having the females (and traps) be really soft and slender. I've been writing so many /fit/ and chubby aliens, maybe it's time for some lithe ones.
I don't think a subrace will be necessary, there's a lot of potential for variation as it is.

Another question though, cloaca or standard genitals? People got grossed out when I included a cloaca in my Lamia fic, even though it wasn't functionally different from a vagina in its application.

I think a cloaca would probably facilitate the sex changes, as the existing organ would only need to be modified rather than replaced entirely. Males could be born with a dormant female reproductive system in their cloaca ready to go, but they just don't use it until the right conditions are met. Meanwhile the penis in females could be an extension of a kind of clitoris.

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>>7137423
Your amazon is on amazon?

>>7137423
Oh, how do you get into Amazon?
I keep meaning to look into it but I can never find any clear rules about what is and isn't allowed on there, and if you actually need book covers and stuff.

>>7137421
wild inclusivity is the death of good fiction. I would prefer focus and good narrative to attempting to cram in everybody's fetishes, especially things that don't easily make sense.

>cloaca or standard genitals
Personally I would say Cloaca for consistency but if that is objectionable then perhaps something like >>>/trash/6529564 would be easier for people to accept?

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>>7137441
That's pretty cool, I like it. This is some crowdsourced smut right here.

>>7137441


I have a very good feeling snek's story will be fine even with how wild the inclusions will be Gotta remember he's doing this for fun, and because he wants many people to enjoy it. If he ever becomes a professional writer, I can see how he'd drop the notion like a hot rock, but for now it's just a request for a tiny and very niche thread.

>>7137445
I could always include a Borealan as part of the science team to get some fat tats involved.
There's are gonna be both human males and females on it.

Female Borealan vs male Krell, that could be pretty crazy. They are strong enough to overpower Borealans.

>>7137443
Crowdsourced smut is the best part of this platform. Two heads and all that good stuff.

>>7137445
The scale of someone's writing project does not change what is and is not good writing practice. I appreciate your good feelings but I still intend to give my advice and warning, and Snek is free to do with it as he will.

by the way I'm posting what I have on hand that I think might be useful as refs in that trash thread

>>7137452


You do what you feel is right Snek, I'm gonna read and comment on your stuff no matter what. Also, I'm typing up the major plot points of my commission right now. It wont have everything and I doubt I'll even finish it tonight, but I promise I'm working on it

>>7137460
Cool, I'll keep an eye on it.

>>7137463
Sure, I await your email. I'm not far off finishing Purple Heart now.
All I really have to do is the Azi scene.

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>>7137432
oh believe me, I've carefully worded the phrasing in many of my rundowns. my demigoddess is on Amazon in a story about her wrestling amazons

>>7137436
it's really just sort of starting, and I just asked around a little on threads and google. look around for what kind of prices you're worth, but early attempts should be cheaper (I'm on 2 bucks for each part, which is apparently dirt cheap even for short stories). the site itself is honestly pretty good for telling you step by step how it goes, but from what I can tell, anything shy of kiddy porn is okay on there.

so by hearsay and accidental Amazon searches, here's what I KNOW is sold on Amazon/Kindle
>"Space Raptor Butt Invasion." Gay sex with an astronaut and a man-raptor
>Dinosaur mind control beastiality sex novels
>LOTS of trashy orc rape novels

you need SOMEthing for your cover, but you could use MS Paint or just some lettering on a nice background (it has a Photoshop/Paint-like program built into the site if you want to make one up)

main thing is that there's this kind of border around the 3 dollar mark. if you go past that, you make a higher margin of profit off it (think it's 70% if you go over, 30% if you're below). so for example, I'm going to be releasing 4 parts overall at 2 bucks, then probably an omnibus sort that's 5. the 5 would not only be cheaper, but make me more money based on the % deal

>>7137481
Alright, thanks for the info man, that's cleared up a lot of the things I didn't know about.
I'll probably test it out some time soon and put one of my fics up there, see what happens.
Those are some really nice covers by the way.

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>>7137481
>>7137436
oh, and from what I hear, the little bitesized ones do better on the ebooks than big epics. hence chopping this one up into parts and the slightly more legit, longer novel, I plan to try to peddle to

that one's a fantasy setting where a girl is stranded in a cart crash and ends up being found by the tribe of amazon women in the nearby forest. they take her in, adopt her as their own, and the girl goes through culture shock as she tries to learn to keep up with a feminine warrior/hunter culture.

still has lesbian sex, just that it's mostly used to indicate intimacy and trust rather than being gratuitus. Heranes was all cheese, ham and fun

>>7137494
That's interesting, most of my stuff is pretty long, but I do have some smaller fics. Maybe I should do a test and report my findings.

>>7137481
Tingle is everywhere. They also have mythic/dino porn by other writers' Mounted by the Gryphon, Dino sex at a museum' and more

>>7137085
Oops, sorry, yeah. The requests I read on the google docs seemed to get right to the concept so I just thought that was how this board worked

>>7137178
>I must ask, however, what the purpose of a soul is if not to define a person and his/her emotions?
Going to have to go with cultural differences on this one. As an atheist in a world filled with hundreds of religions and hundreds of different definitions of what a 'soul' is, I just go with the generic 'magical human-shaped ticket into the afterlife.' I mean, going by your definition, if we succeeded in creating an artificial intelligence with the mental and emotional complexities of a human/elephant/dolphin/what have you, would we have to assume that we've created a new soul? To that I say,

NONE OF THEM KNEW!
NONE OF THEM KNEW!
They.
Were.
Ro.
Bots!

>>7137272
Tentacles jew you say? I'd pay good shekels for that

>>7137452
Don't. Don't do this. Leave the boob cats to play another day (or in another fic). Why not dedicate some time to the flat lizards? Writing about something besides large breasted women could help expand your horizons. Or at least expand your fetishes.

>>7137632


Why is everyone ignoring everything snek says or just making shit up?

At no point did he says boob cats instead of flat lizards. the story will be about flatlizards, calm down

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throwing my reptile know;edge in for snekkers
>in many reptile species the females are bigger than the males
>becoming fatter also makes the females more fertile
>colblooded means their body temp. changes with the surrounding temp.
>this means too cold and too hot are dangerous for them
>they need to warm up or sun bath for some time to get more energy if in colder areas
>there are reptiles species that give birth to live young instead of eggs
>reptiles grow bigger with age, but each species still has a sort of cut off or growth slows down when older
>human's warm body temp. and lack of fur allowing heat to radiate off us makes us rather nice for reptiles to be in contact with
>when they shed their skin they do everything they can to try to get the old skin off due to the irritation
>reptiles taste the air/scents with their tongues
since the krell seem like they're mostly based off of croc/gators
>croc/gators have a mating call/display where they sit in the water and emit a deep growl that has strong enough vibrations to cause the water surrounding them to strongly ripple/shake
>krell have big rudder tails like crocs/gators so that would mean large/wide hips and a big ass to accommodate that tail

>>7137655


>Becoming fatter makes them more fertile

Alright, I'm sold.

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>>7131589
This is a monstergirl related story I wrote in the /tg/ storythread, a blueboard. And I'm posting this here for some thoughts, feedback and suggestions, why? Because I'm considering in continuing this monstergirl story which will have sex and comfys aswell. I'd just wana see some feedback, tips in writing lewds. And also your thoughts on how I did Monstergirl material. So any suggestions /d/?

...Also I decided to check the artist of the pic by GreenTeakNeko because I love monstergirl art where they dominate defenseless human males. But dear lord is the artist fucking weird, because I browsed his/her patreon and I keep seeing comics of women's placentas being utilized as tools and other cryptic vore garbage.

Damn it I thought the artist makes cute monstergirl stuff, not weird crypto-vore-unbirthing-placenta fetish shit.

>>7137030
Don't let /d/'s obsession induce you in error, futa is merely one fetish amongst many others.

>>7137655
Why is that snake twisting on his back? Scared shitless and playing dead?

>>7137705
It's a hog nose snake. They play dead has a defense mechanism. Open mouth with tongue out and upside down is what their instinct tells them act to pretend to be dead. It's rather cartoonish when you watch it keep trying to play dead.

>>7137679
Go for it, it sounds like an interesting read.

>>7137736
Well fist off, what do you think of the monstergirl related story I wrote? Look at the pic I posted at >>7137679

~I wrote that in a storythread in /tg/. And I'm just curious how I did the monstergirl aspects there. Any thoughts /d/ folks?

>>7137644
You really don't need to be his personal defense force, and it would help if you read posts yourself.
Anon is saying to not even include a research team cat so the fic can focuse purely on new horizons.

>>7137845
It's difficult to read when Snekguy's navel is in the way.

Is Lara Croft/Werewolf guy around?

>>7137932
Am now, what's up?

Haven't gotten anything done so far, I'm afraid, I was really busy over the weekend.

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Requesting a story where Nonon Jakuraze wets herself.

>>7137962
Hey, question about the story. Will Lara be placed in a few non-con situations with the other monsters and things in the alternate dimension?
I mean, aside from perils, it's something else for the wolves and other beast men to save her from.

>>7138003
I considered it, but I think it'd mess up the whole idea that it's supposed to be focusing on her having consensual sex.

Instead, I was going to have her witnessing other women falling victim to the various gribbly creatures.

>>7138006
you could fluff it out by saying some of those creatures and plants use some sort of addictive toxin that inhibits higher brain functions so as to placate victims and make them dependent/craving for carnal activities. Enough exposure eats away at whatever resistance.

Other creatures and things require dominance and prefer to predate and torment/play with their 'food', so to speak.

>>7138015
Against Lara or the unfortunate other women?

Good idea regardless, though. Still trying to find monsters I like to use, though.

>>7138017
I would have said for both, but its up to you.

>>7138017
Perhaps Alarune type plant creatures. They drug and then put seed pods in them that later squirt out and plant themselves.

The rough housing can be somewhat harmful(bruises/cuts) that comes from even standerd mating. Cats dot he whole neck grab/barbed penis thing so a woman having even a 'normal' rutting can be pretty sore afterwards.

>>7138019
Lara might start falling prey, might be good for a descriptive scene of her getting horny and maybe making out before an intureuption by the werewolves

>>7138019
Well, I've always been leery of having the heroine be constantly at the mercy of the creatures in these sorts of stories, as it makes you wonder how you're meant to believe she can actually fight them.

Although, as >>7138022 says, I don't think it'd be too SoD-breaking to have her get affected by the pheromones or whatever in one scene, as means of introducing it.

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i wanna start writing ero guro fiction. any tips?

>>7138025
Why do you want to do that?

>>7138023
Well, not constantly at the mercy, but every now and again would be nice.

>>7138026
i enjoy it and i've been told i am an excellent writer and mainly those two reasons
expression and stuff

>>7138028
Unfortuntely for you, guro is banned site-wide. Not even /d/ allows it.

>>7138027
Well, even then, it comes off as feeling totally arbitrary as to which ones she can and can't fight off. Besides, this Classic!Lara I'm going for.

>>7138028
Fair enough, but I doubt you'll have much luck getting help here. Sorry.

>>7138030
Yeah, yeah; but I doubt guro writing tips are banned.

>>7138031
Classic! Lara is also the one I kind of like to read when she's in trouble

>>7138030
It's fine to link to pastebins and stuff I think, shouldn't be a problem.

>>7138028
Whatever happened to Gurochan? I used to enjoy going there just to see what those sick fucks were up to, but I've not been able to access it for a while.

>>7138033
Eh, I'd have thought it'd be Nu!Lara you'd want for that. Regardless, the request was for consensual stuff with Lara. I've already made the decision for her to see other women being taken by the monsters, which I reckon should be good enough.

>>7138038
fair enough.

Perhaps I could request Classic!Lara in peril/trouble/noncon from you later?

>>7138034
gurochan is very, very slow

>>7138040
I made that pastebin full of all the old stuff with her, didn't I? I know for a fact there's stuff like that in there.

I even did that snake story that started this whole thing!

>>7138043
but I've already read those. I was hoping for something new.

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Requesting a story where a loli is forced into diapers.

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>>7138044
All of them? Really?

Ugh, I'll consider it. Have to actually write this fucking werewolf thing first.

>>7138049
yeah, no worries. After contributing to the werewolf story, I want to see it done, first.

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>>7138050
Just need to wake myself up first. It's not that late, but it's been getting so cold here lately I'm burning up too many calories staying warm.

>>7138030
So is furry and that doesn't seem to stop some people around here.

Are there any stories with lactating Eldar

Requesting Eldar lactation if not

>>7137562
I went to Catholic schools from k-12. We almost assuredly follow different definitions. And yeah, for the record, I would argue that any intelligent being, including robots, would have a soul. Again, different definitions.

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>>7138441
>I would argue that any intelligent being, including robots, would have a soul
Now that is -very- interesting/confusing to me. But this is a writing thread, not a theology thread; I'll just have to end this on a respectful shrug.

>>7137987
... how does someone who specializes in wearing no clothing 'wet' themselves?

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4000 word update, Azi beatdown edition, new content at “Yes, let's get this done.”

Purple Heart:
http://pastebin.com/mCZ1pZkK

>>7138528
What on Earth are you talking about?
Coding?
What the fuck is student transfer?

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>>7138524
And thus the marriage ceremony is over.
Two Borealens going after the same guy could make for a funny story.

>>7138529
I appear to be lost. Carry on.

>>7138043
hey, could you give me the pastebin?

>>7138524

>"Morales goes for a left hook, then a right hook, then he goes for a murderous uppercut... and AZI GOES DOWN! LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE RETURNING CHAMPION, STEEL HANDS MORALEZ

i just noticed, is does Moralez have a name?

I'm assuming that Moralez is his last name, and due to the militarily setting, that's pretty much all that's used.

>>7138023
Access to something she can put into a facemask to counter the pheromones? Special flowers/herbs

>>7138049


found more lara croft stories, if you want to add them to your pastebin.

http://www.superheroinecentral.com/~wizard/Stories/Cooteegurl/larastory.htm

http://www.superheroinecentral.com/~wizard/Stories/JustTheOne/LCIntoLair.htm

found this comic(wordless)
This one's also got a werewolf/Jackal?
http://g.e-hentai.org/g/964737/50c08ddce5/

>>7138535
i got it
http://pastebin.com/0RZUSaZW

>>7138570
Thanks for those. If you are interested in an ADRIFT game, there is 'Lara Croft and the Sun Obelisk.' Sex is centered around a very hot FF scene in a temple

>>7138616

played it already. Nice, but kind of limited in options.

>>7138025
>guro
>>>/b/

>>7138049
She looks like she has downs syndrome.

>>7138561
In the military its commonplace to address people by their last name even if you're friends and know each others first names. I've been friends with a guy in my unit since 5th grade and we still call each other by our surnames, but mostly because there's like 8 people with the same first name as me.

>>7138874
What if it's a common last name?

>>7138879
Then you just figure out a way to distinguish between them. My unit had 2 guys with the same last name, but one of them was a fuck up so we called him bad-surname.

>hey I'm looking for Bloggins
>good Bloggins or bad Bloggins?

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>>7137655
Nice that's a lot of good info.
Now I have an excuse to make them thicc, it would be unscientific not to!

>>7138902
That's hilarious.

>>7138524


Boy howdy do I love me a good fight scene. 2 things though Snek:

1. Getting his back sliced down to the bone would have probably ended the fight for Moralez pretty quickly, as muscles that are severed tend to not work very well

2. >“You fucked with my head,” Moralez hissed, glaring down at her. “You made me feel like less of a man, less of a soldier.”

That part was... painfully weak. Of all the things he could have said or what he could have done, that came out super flat and awkward. Methinks you may want a do-over there.

>>7138524
I like the fight, pretty damn good. Moralez's dialogue at the end is a bit weak, though IMO
Just a thought, but moralez going to space NCIS after the thrashing, and the last scene being him and Kaisha turning on the space TV and catching the end of a report on Azi's trial would be a nice way to cap things off

>>7138524
>kicks her ass
>doesn't FINISH HER(or knockout punch)
>instead feels bad about violence against his rapist

>>7139084
Would be interesting to see Azi in another story coming to grips with what she originally did to Moralez. Maybe after she gets out of cat-prison (would it just be a bag?) she has to do counseling with a human who helps her understand human thought.

I wish there was more prisoner of the abyss

>>7139374
I wish I had a million dollars

>>7138974
Adrenaline is helluva drug, there have been people who kept fighting/moving despite taking lethal wounds from guns and other weapons.

>>7139261
And then they bang.

Does anyone have a link to "The Covenant of Sanctified Souls" by Smutomancer? the pastebin in the master list says its removed.

>>7138974
>>7139084
How do you guys think I can improve that dialogue?

>>7139427

http://pastebin.com/bVp5zVVR

This?

>>7138902
You don't just come up with nicknames for everyone?

>>7139084
>space NCIS
I've now got this image stuck in my head of gibbs arresting an amazonian catgirl in typical NCIS fashion and it's fucking hilarious.
We need this

>>7139516
We do, it just takes a while to come up with a good one.