Daredevil Storytime (Part 9)

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>>90040123
Hey, woulda commented on last thread, but it died by the time I got up.

And, sadly, will also not be able to stay up all of tonight's either.

Have a snip from the last thread.

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Oh yeah, and Matt got married offpanel. Don't worry about it, apparently he's getting an annulment.

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>>90040232
No problem Anon, it happens.

>>90040123
>the Yakuza tried taking over Hell's Kitchen, only to be reminded this is a setting with superheroes.

The crazy thing about that is that maybe the second or third most important Japanese character in Marvel, Silver Samurai... IS THE HEAD OF A YAKUZA FAMILY.

Hell, by this point, he's the head of a Yakuza family that got saved from the Hand by the fucking Avengers.

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Bendis fucking LOVES him some Madame Hydra, and I'll never understand why.

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In case you ever wanted to see what the Avengers would look like if Meleev drew them, your wish is granted. I wonder if this is how Bendis sees every superhero. It would explain why he doesn't like the classic Avengers, at least.

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I admit, my memory is a bit fuzzy on this, but isn't the Avengers, as an organization, recognized by the United Nations? Meaning this argument shouldn't be happening, since the Avengers aren't answerable to ANY of these people? Or am I misremembering?

>>90040263
I feel like this is something that Bendis is doing because Matt is Catholic and divorce isn't permitted... but Annulments are actually pretty hard to come by.

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On the other hand, I am PERFECTLY aware of the fact that SHIELD was outside the control of just one country. I guess this is around the time when Marvel forgot that.

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>>90040339
Hell, Bendis USES Silver Samurai for a bit in New Avengers.

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>>90040459
Has Bendis EVER referenced that?

>>90040355
I'd say it's the hair, or the green lipstick, but he didn't bother with either.

Or with thinking about the idea that MODOK probably doesn't really do public cafe meetings. It's not like he can Ben Grimm up a hat and trenchcoat to be inconspicuous.

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I'm just going to assume he's lying about being related to Strucker to get laid, because you'd expect him to have been killed LONG before now if it was true.

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>>90040570
>It's not like he can Ben Grimm up a hat and trenchcoat to be inconspicuous.

Doesn't he have literally THAT happen in the Doctor Doom book?

>>90040554
Or Maybe it was Millar Ultimates influenced.

>>90040514
That's what I was referring too, but I guess I got my timeline messed up because Bendis hasn't killed Hawkeye for being lamer than Wolverine yet.

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>>90040658
THAT'S more likely, I suppose.

>>90040696
They were going through all of the books, and when we got to ‘Avengers,’ Mark Millar and I were doing a lot of talking. We were told to feel free to talk, but sometimes we were the only ones talking which can be embarrassing. Mark and I really got into a tizzy about Avengers,” Bendis recalled. “It was just us bitching, saying things like, ‘Why isn’t it really Earth’s Mightiest heroes? What the fuck is Jack of Hearts?’ Then Mark, in his lilting Scottish brogue, said, ‘You know, when I was a wee young lad in Scotland, I would only buy “Justice League” because I would get all of my DC heroes for just 10 cents. It was a bargain and featured some of their greatest characters.’ “I responded, ‘Yeah, why isn’t “Avengers” a book made up of the coolest guys? Why doesn’t it have characters like Spider-Man and Wolverine?’ Then a ruckus broke out in the room. People were screaming and yelling. It was really just madness,” Bendis continued. “So it was me, Mr Schmucky, and Scottish Schmucky coming in and going, ‘Your book sucks! This could be better.’ That’s not what we were doing, but there’s no way that it didn’t come off that way. Meanwhile, as soon as I said that Spider-Man should be an Avenger, people were pounding on the table going, ‘SPIDER-MAN WOULD NEVER BE AN AVENGER!'” CBR

Boy, that was a fun storytime.

>>90040397
Oh Christ almighty that is a hideous looking Iron Man.

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>>90040683
And when he brings him back, he somehow makes him lamer than he was before.

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>>90040787
Yeah, he's the worst one, but I didn't even bother mentioning it.

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I'm sure there's some readers who still dream of this.

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>>90040747
>Meanwhile, as soon as I said that Spider-Man should be an Avenger, people were pounding on the table going, ‘SPIDER-MAN WOULD NEVER BE AN AVENGER!'”

Cut to today, where he's in a bunch of different Avengers teams since.

>>90040794
I really miss pre-Bendis Hawkeye.

A man with no powers but balls enough to fight gods with a bow and arrow.
And occasional bouts of sanity that see him steal Pym Particles because "wait, shit, why am I fighting Graviton with ARROWS"

>>90040937
What a slut

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>>90041028
I didn't like Hawkeye at first, and then I read Thunderbolts, where he was basically the best one.

>>90040794
Mayordevil is an incredibly stupid idea.

Like, at least when Green Arrow goes into politics, it makes sense, because he's been political since Denny O'Neil made him that way to score chicks.

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Yeah, Maleev shouldn't draw anyone in skintight shiny leather.

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oh no, nameless diplomat has words to say with Nick Fury, im so worried

>>90041120
I like how the coloring highlights her nipples. Like geez.

>>90040937
Only the masochists, I imagine.

Black Widow is not a stable, gentle lover. She'll fuck you, sure, but then all of a sudden you're getting waterboarded in your own bathtub because that guy you work with has an interview with AIM next week.

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>>90041074
I read somewhere that there was once a plot where the Soviets gave her a mind control STD, meaning every superhero she banged, who then banged anyone else (which, since it includes Tony Stark and Hercules would probably be more people) would be under their control. Was that legit, or was someone fucking with me?

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Oh good, Bendis is going to try and act like he knows how spy agencies work again. That worked SO well for Secret War, after all.

>>90041077
What did you read before Thunderbolts that didn't make you think he was the best until then?

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I'm not a Punisher fan, Anons. Nothing against people who are, but I tend to prefer the fantastical to the realistic.

But how the fuck has Frank not killed Jigsaw by now?

>>90041120
Yeah, right. 'Draw.'

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>>90041174
It's her secret superpower.

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So is this a reference to a pre-Miller page, or was that talk of "that move" something that Bendis made up on the spot?

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>>90041197
I've been in enough generals to believe people would make that trade.

>>90041376
Probably the latter.
Bendis doesn't read comics.

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>>90041079
Luckily, that never comes to fruition, thank god.

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>>90041281
New Avengers.

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>>90041430
He's read SOME things, Anon. You know, like the Doom/Iron Man in Camelot.

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>"You know, out with it."
>"No, YOU know. I never know. You know."
>"You know."

This is literally something I'd expect out of a Bendisspeak bit, not something that was actually published.

>>90041376
That doesn't really look like the kind of move you'd see in a pre-Miller comic, no.

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I never want to see another close-up shot of Jigsaw again.

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God DAMN it, I said no more close-ups!

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Seriously, fuck you Bendis.

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Okay, this is still dumb, but dumb for a different reason than the Yakuza thinking they can totally take him. At least Jigsaw knows Matt can kick his ass.
Mostly because he already did.

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And now the Luke Cage brothers are back.

>>90041733
Eww, his stitches look like maggots haha

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Notice Natasha never really gives the token "Sorry for your loss" on his wife leaving, or even a congrats for getting married.

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>>90041621
So you don't recognize it then? Worth a shot, I suppose.

>>90041814
Mario Luke Cage and Luigi Luke Cage.

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Well, that's one way of ending an issue.

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I have no idea why the covers keep making her hair so light. She's practically blonde in the first cover!

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Dude, he looked RIGHT at you. Just run.

>>90041983
I thought it was Yelena.

>>90041983
They got her confused with the other Black Widow.

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You know, most assassins shut the hell up and run when they get found, especially the ones who aren't in costumes.

>>90042059
Fuck Marvel for Killing Her. RIP

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Was that just hidden on the wall as a back-up plan? Because there's NO way he was hiding that thing in his pocket.

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>>90042092
What was she in, anyway? I only remember her from Digglebolts and New Avengers, none of which are really worth it.

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Why are we still dealing with this guy?

>>90042185
She died in Spencer Secret Avengers in 2012.

>>90041863
Her own husband was forced on her by the State. And then he's come back to life like twice and it never really enthuses her.

Nat is not the marrying type. What with being a uterus-less monster

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>>90042218
I won't lie, I read that so long ago, I forgot everything that happened in that book.

>>90042185
I am so sick of this twat already.

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I think I'm going to use this issue whenever I need to explain Bendis de-compression. We're halfway through the issue, and this could've been told in... what, 3 pages?

>>90041925
Super Luke Cage Brothers. You smash through walls for your money, honey, instead of punching bricks for coins.

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See that first panel?
Now look at the sixth panel. No bullet hole, right?

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There's a bullethole NOW though. I've heard of magic bullets, but this is ridiculous!

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I like to think she's see Matt pull tricks like this so often, she forgot that it's really not as easy as it looks.

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>>90042308

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>>90042331
Are the mushrooms his yellow shirt?

>>90042079
Is that assassin Stallone?

>>90042293
>I won't lie, I read that so long ago, I forgot everything that happened in that book.
She died in 2012 but never came back.

During a rescue mission in which the Secret Avengers tried to rescue Mockingbird from A.I.M. Island, Yelena intercepted and fought the escaping Mockingbird. During the fight, the two of them fell behind a metal gate. Upon emerging, Mockingbird was shot by an A.I.M. operative. The Secret Avengers took her body and escaped in a submarine, only to discover the deceased Mockingbird was actually Yelena, whose belt contained a holo-camouflage device the actual Mockingbird snuck into during the fight.


http://imgur.com/a/fMAJQ

http://imgur.com/a/Ksky6

>>90042185
>What was she in, anyway?

Various Black Widow minis from Marvel Knights, mostly.

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No, Natasha, it looked like those woman from last issue were dead.

>>90042217
Why are all Bendis antagonists such worthless chatterboxes expressing Bendis' own condescension for the nominal main characters?

>>90042570
>Various Black Widow minis from Marvel Knights, mostly.

By Rucka And devin Grayson

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Oh right, Jigsaw is in this.

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I wouldn't keep harping on the fact that this Black Widow looks blonde, IF THERE WASN'T A BLONDE BLACK WIDOW ALREADY, like >>90042043 and >>90042059 suggested.

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I like to imagine that they can hear Fury telling them that he isn't there, and she just has to say "Uh, it's an LMD."

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>>90042661
I'm convinced it's because he's ashamed to write cape comics.

>>90042661
Shut your cow-mouth or I'll remove your face before I stop your whore's heart!

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Matt, just lie and say you're Mike Murdock again. Worst thing they can do is say you're lying, and they thought that twice already.

>>90042716
https://youtu.be/lcKPQKxrqT0

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>"If one of them ran to the copies and say I kung fu'd he hell out of them, then the front page is 'Matt Murdock IS Daredevil'."

You know, despite unmasking in front of an entire crowd, or beating up a group of armed Yakuza while the FBI was watching.

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So basically, despite the entire run up until now treating the fact that "Matt Murdock is Daredevil" is just a fact, legally it's apparently only a theory.

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Don't tell me, someone fapped to THIS page too?

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This is French, right? Does anyone here speak french?

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Well shit, he didn't last long.

>>90042954
Five bucks say Bendis got the French wrong.

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... So he just has a spare cane and glasses randomly in a steel box?

>>90042751
>>90042780
Whoever Maleev was posterizing into Nick Fury, he made a bad choice. Dude looks like a sitcom dad in an eyepatch.

>>90042954
. https://youtu.be/ftsgr42AHkE

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Man, this has to be humiliating for Jigsaw, trying to tell this story.

>"So I kicked in Daredevil's front door with a bunch of armed guys, but they all ran away when the pigs showed up, and I got beaten up by some broad in just a towel, and THEN he pressed charges!"

No, I have no idea if he actually talks like that.

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>"Are you really blind?"
>"Yes."
>"Too bad, that's one piece of woman."

When did Foggy become a cop on the side?

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Remember, Howard the Duck is a real person in the Marvel Universe. He's probably MET Daredevil at some point.

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Well I'll be damned, he really was writing a book. I assumed it was just a bad lie.

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Oh, so he was a SHIELD agent. That explains a lot.

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>"You know what? Next week, you'll by lying in bed, and all of a sudden it'll dawn on you, you should've slept with me when you had the chance."

Okay, so I get they didn't sleep together THIS arc, because he's still technically married. But does that line mean they didn't even before?

I mean, I know he's Catholic, but I wouldn't have called that.

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And this, Anons, is why you don't fuck with Nick Fury.

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Given how much Bendis tries to go full "realism", I'm surprised he never has someone call her by her birth name.

I guess he doesn't know what Madame Hydra's real name is?

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Funny story. Turns out this guy was one of the characters to be named "Ronin". I forget if that was before or after this.

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Well, as far as villain motivations go, "I don't like you", if /co/'s love of Black Manta means anything.

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Oh right, back to this subplot.

>>90042922
-Dear friend you are truly very ugly, are you not?
-(This I can't actually make out properly.) The worst is that you can more you the same, what isn't you can't say?
-And, even more stunningly, you seem to be even dumber than you are ugly.

>>90042954
-I have never encountered any person more ugly than you, and I'm Russian

Sorry, my French is kinda rusty. Kinda makes me embarrassed to spend time with my maternal relatives, who are pretty much all Quebecois.

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Since it's just a one-off issue, let's slide in that anniversary issue, Anons.

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And it's a big one, Anons.

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With a lot of different artists.

>>90043246
It seems unlikely.
There is nothing to indicate his various other romances were non-sexual, and I'm pretty sure they dated in San Francisco, in the 60s.

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And it's a flashback issue too!

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>>90042789
As much as I whined about New Avengers, it really is the best of his three Avengers books.

>>90043374
After. Widowmaker ended like 3 months before Hawkguy launched.

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>>90043013
Why do you think I'm asking? I REALLY hope he did.

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There's actually a What If when Matt joins SHIELD instead of becoming Daredevil.
Unlike most What If's, it has him happier than in 616.

>>90043529
>This thing I wholeheartedly don't want to give you

>It's called chlamydia and I got it from Karen Page, because turning tricks for drug money is not a healthy lifestyle

That said, I'm turning in here. I've already stayed up too late as is.

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Nick Fury: kind of a dick, even when he doesn't need to be.

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Notice these are ALL different newspapers saying he's Daredevil. Whereas in the beginning, it was only the one newspaper that found out.

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And this is probably referencing when he chewed out JJ after he gave Ben shit.

>>90043816
Is he tracing David Hasselhoff or clooney.

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>"I mean, doesn't the fact that Daredevil has saved so many lives, helped so many people, doesn't that put ANY credit in the bank with these reporters?"

Spider-Man, you're the one person this side of the X-Men franchise that should know better than that.

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Remember the time they fought Hyde?

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>>90043498
So all her taking the piss. Thanks Anon.

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Seriously, there was NO plan for Spider-Man to unmask in Civil War beforehand, considering all this keeps happening?

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Oh yeah, by this point Cap had went public.

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Matt, you'd probably be able to walk around in your costume casually if your costume wasn't, you know, the damn devil.

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>>90043652
Oh, I know they dated, I was just surprised that they didn't sleep together back then.

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>>90043714
So he was the 3rd Ronin (after Echo and Hawkeye), got it.

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>>90043811
Fair enough, Anon. See you next time.

>>90044105
I was saying that he totally slept with Electra/Karen/other love interests, and that SF in the 60s was basically one big orgy.

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Oh hey, the Punisher is getting involved now.

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So remember, when this happened, Punisher was a few feet away.

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Notice how, in the actual book, we never actually SEE Matt unmask in this scene. Just "he has the mask on" and then "he has it off". Here, we see him tear it off.

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>>90044196
>SF in the 60s was basically one big orgy.

Sounds about right.

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Seriously, how is Frank being so sneaky carrying that fucking thing?

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So this was during the one year time time skip, since Driver is still, you know, uncrispy.

>>90044389

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Seriously why does Marvel keep letting Townsend draw Strange?

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Ah, the disadvantages of being blind. Astral Projections don't have a heartbeat or anything else his super-senses could detect.

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I love how, when he takes the Cloak of Levitation off, it just floats like it's on an invisible goat hanger.

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>>90044430
Thanks for the bump, Anon!

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Yeah, that run was freaking weird.

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>"Congratulations, you married her. How IS Karen doing."
>"It isn't Karen Page whom I married."

Ouch, awkward.

>>90044551
This

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So I haven't read ALL of Doctor Strange, does he actually have a spell like this? I know he casually can travel through time, like the time he met Ben Franklin, but I doubt that's about it.

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And a few splash pages.

>>90044704
Cool

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And Del Toro's back for a bit.

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And that's it for tonight, Anons! See you tomorrow, as we find out who "Bont" is, and what he has planned!

>>90044800
Thank you

>>90040123
Have been picking up Bendis's TPBs recently. And it isn't good like people are shilling honestly.

I think I will stop picking those and will continue from the storytime here. Thanks.

>>90040747
You know the hypocrisy of it all? Bendis proceded to fill the Avengers with a bunch of his pet characers and OCs that were just as obscure as Jack of Hearts.

>>90041687
How the fuck does a mass murderer like Jigsaw qualify for bail? Especially since he must have broken out of prison.

>>90045359
Despite the anti-rec Anons being asses about it, they're right about the fact that you should make up your own mind about comics, and not just listen to people whining about it.
Shit, I still genuinely enjoy Ostrander's Heroes For Hire, and I've NEVER seen anyone recommend that.

>I have never met anyone uglier than you, and I'm Russian

>>90042954
>>90043013
It's French, but there are some spelling mistakes, mostly the lack of any accents.

>>90043847
>Oh my god
>This is a nightmare

Obviously about the art here. Ugh.
Also, Spider-Man has pockets. He's got a whole utility belt under his shirt, which Bendis would know if he read comics.

>>90040123
>Bendis story time

You are a terrible person

>>90041292

Jigsaw's been killed several times, to the extent that I sometimes wonder if resurrective immortality isn't some super secret power of his.

>>90048485
Obviously, but what does that have to do with Bendis storytimes?

>>90048017
I just gave it a shot, picked a few trades and I stopped picking the rest. Should have looked on the internet before tho. You are right about that.

>>90043013
an accent is missing on "rencontré" but it's all right

>>90042922
>>90043498
>>90043979
for the second sentence :
the worst is that you stink more than you look like, and that is saying something (last bit is literally "which is not [few?] saying")
rest is good

>>90040123
Thank you