Coping with sexless marriage

Maybe you don't look attractive to him because you're pregnant?

I'm in a similar boat. I wouldn't say we have a sexless marriage but it's definitely maybe two or three times a month. It's been six years. Over time my libido dropped. Every once in a while I'll masturbate if I need to. There's nothing you can do about it unfortunately. And there's no fix. It's just a slow, painful death that we will never get out of unless we leave them.

>>18332302
This. It's not even about looks so much as the fact that he might just not want to stick his dick where his baby is currently residing. I mean fuck, it's just weird. And what if he shoots his load inside you, and gives his unborn kid a facial? That's fucked up. See how things go after the baby's out.

>>18332291
Let's be honest here. Many men aren't attracted to pregnant and bloated women. How fat have you gotten?

>>18332302
We would go months without sex before I got pregnant so that's not the issue!

>>18332320
I can see this being valid but we've had sexual dysfunction way before I was pregnant. I haven't gained any 'fat' either, just the belly. I really doubt that our sex life will get better after I have a flat stomach again because it was fucked when it was flat last.

>>18332303
Did you have a high sex drive like I do? I really hope mine does go down.

So you're thin? Or did you just not get even fatter once you became pregnant?

You should try masturbating in front of him, even having him 'accidentally' walk in on you doing it? I know everyone is different but even when fiancee has had his fill for the day, this will get him going all over again.

Also, does he have depression or an anxiety disorder?

>>18332334
I am a thin and petite woman. I have never been overweight. My doctors want me to gain 35lbs this pregnancy and I have only gained 15. It's just how my bodytype is.

>>18332336

haha I do this pretty often! sometimes he helps me but not usually. he's drive is just broken/not there anymore.

He has anxiety and depression yes but he is taking medicine and doing therapy for it. He feels emotionally much better but his sexdrive still hasn't improved. I have kind of given up asking "why" his sex drive is fucked for now because we have navigated many possibilities and have not found an answer. I'm mostly looking for advice on how to cope with not having sex with him anymore.

>>18332346
Depression medication causes so much libido suppression that it's unbelievable. Much more than the anxiety medication. There is your culprit. How to cope with it? Find a nice young black bull and cuck your husband.

I'm 23, I fuck my gf 3-4 times a a day sometimes.

HOWEVER, when I take ritalin my libido is gone for a day and a half.

Quit the meds, get back the sex.

>>18332336
I agree that anxiety is a possible complicating factor in this situation, but trying to force sex back into the relationship with stunts is potentially very damaging.

My wife and I had this problem also. Nothing physiologically preventing intimacy, a healthy relationship free from argument or bickering, but a slowly dwindling intimate connection.

Esther Perel has investigated this set of issues throughout her life's career. She is incredibly well qualified to speak to these issues, and her rational approach to kindling intimacy has helped my wife and I address a lot of the hang-ups were weren't even aware of. She and I aren't perfect, but we're much closer now to understanding ourselves and each other, and some of the intimacy we knew at the beginning of our relationship is beginning to blossom.

It can take time and patience, but the approach can yield visible improvement of the pair of you are committed to it. Please, give it a try:

https://youtu.be/62whP6gRpec

>>18332362
>husband stops taking depression meds
>gets his sex drive back as he's hanging himself
>auto-erotic asphyxiation kinda

>>18332362

he was like this before the medication too! I can't really win here. We used to have sex a lot pre-medication but it stopped one day. He got on the meds after our sex life was already gone.

>>18332352
>Find a nice young black bull and cuck your husband.

haha no way! cheating won't fix our issues, only make them worse.

>>18332367
thank you so much for your link! I will check it out and apply it to my situation. Are you and your wife having sex more?

>>18332346
Certain meds are death sentences for libidos and erections. Fiancee was on a batch that gave him inorgasmia until he went off of them. I had a time in a our long relationship where my meds made me very frigid and had no desire for sex. It also felt boring and numb. It was like the meds made me feel nothing.

On the right dose of meds, things improve. Both of us have found meds that help us but also let us have a vibrant sex life (at least once a day, sometimes more). It's a pain in the ass, but it's so worth it in the end when you find the right cocktail!

>>18332291
Jezus so many words and none to the point.

Op, you have to identify and hunt down problem:

>can he pop a boner?
>does he masturbate?
>does he find you attractive?
>does he even enjoy sex with you?
>doesnt he fuck elsewhere?
>is he fit?
>does he has some testosterone left?
>does he watch porn?
>isnt he afraid of you?

And you can be part of problem as well:
>are you starfish in bed?
>have you tried to literally grab him by dick and drag to bed?
>do you even want sex?

Where is the problem? Do you know it? Yes? Post it. No? Go hunt down the answers. Return back when you find out.

Personally i bet you never tried to grab him and demand sex or he lost ability to have boner.

>>18332392

>can he pop a boner?
only when he wakes up but it goes away right after
>does he masturbate?
he says he tries but he doesnt feel anything down there
>does he find you attractive?
yes he does, but he doesnt have the desire to have sex and cant physically bring himself to
>does he even enjoy sex with you?
yes we had an amazing sex life and had the best sexual chemistry
>doesnt he fuck elsewhere?
no! he is not cheating, he is almost always home when he is not at work. he only works a few times a week currently and comes straight home.
>is he fit?
.. no he's not. He just started lifting weights so maybe that will help?
>does he has some testosterone left?
Yes his levels are normal, we just got them tested.
>does he watch porn?
not very often, when he does he can't get it up past a semi.
>isnt he afraid of you?
he doesn't seem afraid of me
And you can be part of problem as well:
>are you starfish in bed?
hell no! I am very into sex and into trying new things, it would be embarassing to be a starfish in bed.
>have you tried to literally grab him by dick and drag to bed?
yeah I've tried this many times but stopped because he said it makes him feel uncomfortable because he cant get it up.
>do you even want sex?
I have a very high sex drive and initiate often so yes.

I'm mostly looking for a solution to accept and cope with not having sex because I do not think this situation will change. Maybe he is just the type of man who loses sex drive after a few years.

>>18332406
Maybe if you stopped fucking phrasing everything as "he can't get it up". He has no control over whether or not he gets hard you cunt. It'd be like him complaining that you can't get wet for whatever reason. Maybe you're on anti-depression meds and you're a fucking desert down there. But you wouldn't like him saying "She can't get wet for me". Have some fucking compassion, this is your husband you pregnant fuck.

>>18332419
coming here to derail another thread? nice try

File: testosterone-declines-with-age.png (60KB, 360x281px) Image search: [Google]

60KB, 360x281px

>>18332419
Go back to >>>/r9k/

>>18332406
You are right on part where males slowly loses interest in sex. But it goes down all the way to 60~70. Pic related. So yeah, the older he will become, the less libido. But i bet he isnt even 40.

So how to regain the boners:
Stop taking happy pills. He is old enough to be able to figure out how to beat depression / anxiety. Consult with his doctor to try different pills or to try something else.

Increase his cardiovascular system. Lifting weight is good too, but you want him to do cardio like swimming, walking, running. Adopt both of you such sport into your lives and do it together. The more fat he is, the less boners.

Start him doind kegel excercises. Sone studies shows how even 60+ guys cured ED by it with combination of unfatting themselves and cardio.
http://www.healthline.com/health/erectile-dysfunction/exercises

Last thing is to unfaten him. Make him read
>>>/fit/ read sticky, count calories and make him to obtain 25bmi. Claim that you deserve sexy husband and support him. After birth you will be doing the same if you are nice wife.

Before you reach improvement in this, buy
>dragon dildo
and make your husband to please you orally or with some toy. Even if he is limp, you want to keep the intimacy going no matter what. He simply must not be ashamed to please you. Who knows, maybe when his head will be between his legs, he will pop boner.

And seriously, stop thinking that ED is untretable. The biggest factor is his medication. Also on his birthday try to buy him viagra. But do not rely on it on daily basis.

Now go, be firm but still supportive wife. Whip your husband if you have to. Inflate his ego and manipulate him into sport and sex. You arent doing it just for yourself, he deserves to be healthy too. You are in it together.

Good luck!

>>18332442
the fuck, an actually good advice on /adv/?

>>18332442
>old enough to beat depression/anxiety

You are a fucking madman. Thankfully no one cares what you have to say because your /adv/ shows a complete lack of understanding. Hopefully people disregard everything you say for the rest of your life. kys.

>>18332432
this isn't my thread though >:3

>>18332291
tell him to start lifting, buy starting strength by mark rippetoe for him. tell him to use youtube as a way to learn proper form for everything and to cross-reference and read plenty of articles on human anatomy so he understands why he should be doing whatever it is he does during his lifts. make sure you feed him properly. plenty of healthy food. use off days for light running to help improve his cardiovascular health. couch to 5k is great for newbies. If his physical condition is already great then shit hes fucked. but then again since you are actually pregnant that might kill the vibe. also tell him to start with the greeks /fitlit/ out

>>18332442
thanks a bunch!
yeah I don't think those meds are doing him justice, he's pretty tired these days. I think he will always have depression/anxiety like I do but i know that diet and excercise combat it a lot. I will do my best to help encourage him to get fit ! I had no idea that men could do kegals too. This is all awesome information, thanks a lot i'll be sure to utilize it!

>>18332419
>>18332459
>>18332432
I wonder if per chance You may have thought it was me that girl from that other thread about the girl with the boyfriend who "abuses" her

>>18332291
If it's not physical, it has to be mental.
If it's not your pregnancy, it is most likely some unrelated stress.
Most typically, problems at work can make a man feel a failure, "less of a man". And that same feeling can make him ashamed/afraid to tell you the source of the problem.

If he really does want to fix this, suggest he see a shrink (male) on his own. He might be able to open up to a man in a way he can't with you.

>>18332455
>madman
The number of people with real clinical depression who need medication just to avoid suicide thoughts are very low. But pharmacies and doctors make huge money by throwing anti anxiety (just grow up) and anti depression (life sucks bro) like candy to whoever ask for them.
Same with things like addreal. Hyperactivr children are just hyperactive. Pills are fast solution to life long problem. Most of these issues have to be beaten in your head by various techniques. The pills dont solve the problem or teach you how to deal with, they just block symptoms and make a lot of money for corporations.

>take note i am not talking about things like schyto or bipolar, that is very different case

>>18332490
You beat anxiety and depression by sharing your pain and crying with somebody, obtaining self esteem via achievements and sport helps too because it releases happy hormones to your head. But you always should consult with doctor before changing pills. The last thing you want is your husband to kill himself.

But as it sounds to me, he doesnt have real depression. Just common stress, sadness and maybe some mild life crisys. Everybody is sad from time to time, lost in this complicated world, paralyzed with fear.

Good luck with your sex quest femanon. And really, if you feel horny, make him to please you. He has to gain confidence in pleasing his wife even without boner.

Hi my wifes pregnant 2 and we havent had sex in ages shes 16 weeks now we probably banged once in that time since pregnancy. Like my wifes pregnant i want her to rest and let the baby grow. Like im ok i can just watch porn whenever and bust one out. Like the guys done his job and made the baby. Now its your turn to eat healthy rest up and be stress free. Now heres the thing if your worried u need to tell ya man and not write this shit on 4chan. Its easy to wank each other off and get it in yeah. You need to tell ya husband he needs to fuck you, to open up ya vagina to make birth giving easier thats what i heard ill do that closer to the birth. Hope this advice helps

>>18332563
Oh and if this is disfunction. Has he licked you out to an orgasm and still no boner. If so sorry 4 my shot advice.

grown up men lose their sex drive if their life is really stressfull, stressing him up about your lack of a sex life will only make things worse

like we say in Italy, il cazzo non vuole pensieri, the dick does not want preoccupations

>>18332291
have you tried things that'll help boost his testosterone?
I mean, there's medical ways to do it, but also activities that can as well, you can probably find with a yahoo search

>>18332524
You're a fucking moron. People that have been on depression meds can become suicidal simply from quitting them with out titration. You're a mongoloid with no reason to live.

>as it sounds to
>he doesn't have real
Holy fuck you're retarded. Who cares what you think? die already plz

>>18332683
There is constructive criticism and shitposting. Guess what type of posts are yours?

Either invest more skillpoints in your conversation and logical thinking tree or dont bother to giving me more (You)s.

And as i said, there is clinical depression and then there are just sad people with minor mental issues. What is your problem anon? Triggered much, but why exactly?

>>18332291
>sex isn't happening
>must be the man
>let's get him tested because men do not have emotions or higher reasoning when it comes to females

>>18332693
>>18332693
The point is you don't know anon. Don't give /adv/ that's potentially dangerous. You write out all these long-winded and useless posts and then complain about mine that are much more concise.

>>18332693
Dude I agree with him, fuck off.

>>18332303
>I wouldn't say we have a sexless marriage but it's definitely maybe two or three times a month. It's been six years.

I am not getting this here. Do you mean to say that you haven't had sex in over 6 years with your partner? Or are you saying that you have sex 2 or 3 times a month for the past six years? (Overall sex total in the six years is 180 with a mean of 2.5 times per month). If it is the first option then that is considered sexless, but the second option seems perfectly normal.

>>18332382
We're not exactly rabbits, but we're a lot more fulfilled these days, yes. Some people jump back in, some people ease back in. Finding the balance of give and take that helps you and your partner reconnect might be difficult, but keep at it.

>>18332346
>He has anxiety and depression yes but he is taking medicine and doing therapy for it
well case closed then. just look at the symptoms of these illnesses and their medications and you will realize that his low libido is no surprise.

>>18332291
Make him eat you out then or use vibrators on you for the sake of yourself. He can do that even when he can't get it up. And there is nothing wrong with asking for that. It is basically as if he gave you a massage or something like that.