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Get it off your chest

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Thread replies: 319
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Go on anon, we're here to listen.
Last thread: >>17517902
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>>17522485
>I should be on meds.
Don't get your hopes up. BPD is a higher-level psychological dysfunction and cannot be simply treated with any medications (unlike lower-level dysfunctions eg GAD). Many doctors and therapists don't use meds at all.
For that matter, are you seeing a therapist at the moment?

>>17522485
>But I'm sure that won't happen since I'm emotionally reliant on others.
Remember that we're not animals. We aren't slaves to our base desires.
We often have to deny and suppress them for our own good and that of others.

Don't lead the guy on if you don't know what you want or what you're aiming for.
You have to figure out your goals and plans for the future.
In the meantime, just tell him the truth: that first of all you're conflicted and need to sort things out.
And if you just like spending time with him even if it's only temporary, tell him that! Maybe he feels the same. A relationship can be fruitful even if it doesn't last.
A relationship involves 2 people, anon. Bring him up to speed, and you can figure things out together.

>>17525180
>I know I'm a shit person.
>I am, in fact, garbage.
That's the BPD talking. As long as you recognize right and wrong, you're not that bad. Truly garbage people are the ones that hurt others and never feel sorry or guilty, never recognize the pain they've inflicted.
There's plenty out there, and you're a damn sight better than any of em.
Keep your chin up.
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I'm a 24 year old male and my mother made me cry today.
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>>17525476
I think I might be Bi-Polar.

Some days I'm ecstatic and the others I'm down as fuck. I also have quick short bursts of extreme emotion, they last like 2/5 seconds. My mental state is really fucked up right now, sometimes I just have moments of madness by myself and do things that would make people think you should be locked up somewhere.

I think it's all the emotional strains I went through growing up, keeping them bottled up and now I have snapped.
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Friday evening, all alone again, feel so lonely
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>>17519509

That's my problem, and it's now been exactly two weeks since we last talked... I feel empty
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Fuck it. Fuck it. Fuck it. FUCK IT.

I have to go on. Yes, I'm starting later than others. Yes, I could have had all those years spent to gain experience and hone my skills.

But I can't stay stuck with the idea that it's too late. I'm only 27, I can redo my life and say fuck it again at least twice.

There's nothing that can't be done if I put my energy towards it. I won't spent any more energy thinking about "if" and "when". All day, hour, minute, second will be spent towards improving in those fields and I will make myself a name in those fields. They are the only things that keep me up at night, that give me a reason to exist. I feel extreme joy and I am serene when I practice them, and it itches me when I can't practice.

It's time to regain control of my inner fortress and slay the beast that has occupied it for far too long.

Another life has begun.
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Whenever I get angry, I start doing what I feel I am supposed to do and what is right. And it always backfires on me. But not doing anything is not an option either.
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>>17525476
My stomach is starting to shrink after so many days only eating breakfast.
Today i felt the kind of nausea you get when you are too full while eating breakfast. I really have to eat more.
At least i got a 9/10 body for the chicks who dig skellys...
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I've spent my entire young life thinking, and I think I've found true happiness. The problem is that it involves leaving everything and everyone I love behind, so I'm effectively being torn apart.
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My coworker and friend is really messed up at the moment. She has mental health problems which seem to have flared up recently, leading to her cutting her legs and the side of her face with a scalpel, as well as telling me she's seriously considering hanging or drowing herself.
I know it's not really my problem, but I can't help but worry about her. She's a good friend and it upsets me greatly seeing her like this and knowing there's nothing I can do or say that will make it go away. I feel like I can't even talk to my other coworkers who know her without making things worse, so I have to come her and shout it into the void.
Recently I've been scared shitless that I'll come into work and I won't see her because she's put herself in the hospital or been found dead somewhere.
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>>17525626
Is it true happiness if achieving it is a result of tearing yourself apart and/or leaving behind things or people you care about? This isn't a philosophical rhetorical question, I genuinely do not know the answer to what "true happiness" is
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I'm starting to think I'm not cut out for success. I hate change, I get depression and anxiety because of it. I hate crowds and sometimes easily hate people too. I hate having responsibilities, I deal badly with them. Hell, even having to make an important phone call, I can't do that, it's like I'm a kid that refuses to do what he doesn't want.

I fucking hate this. How the fuck will I survive when I'm done with college?
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If you miss or think about them, go and let them know. You'll feel refreshed and they'll appreciate it.
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>>17525682
I would if the person I miss dearly didn't drop me from their lives and pretend I don't exist.
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R,

You are amazing. How you have turned your life around in the last year and a half is just... wow.

She never deserved you, and I hope she is here to read this. You are beautiful, and I seriously don't believe you are as old as you say.

Your dick is a fucking monster, and I love/hate choking on it. It fucking drives me wild knowing how you could tear me apart when we fuck, desu...

K
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>>17525682
They probably miss not smoking weed for a day more than they miss me.
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>>17525691
>>17525709
You'd be pleasantly surprised.
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>>17525691
This
I am the anon that made the post about being abandoned.
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Should I blog under my real name? It might open up some avenues for freelance writing but also might make it harder to find employment later.
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I'm worried..
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>>17525728
good question, I've been wondering the same for ages
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I haven't been home in months and my mind feels like it's all over the place. I'm not getting much satisfaction from my job, and although I'm passing all of my classes I could be doing better. Everyday feels like an uphill struggle and I can't call home for support because I'm afraid they're tired of hearing it. I feel like my family is starting to give up on me and is just going to stop bothering with me because I feel so negative.
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>>17525735

What's worrying you?
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I have been keeping my eye out for the girl every time I'm at my college...

I have told my self, at the advice of others, to not contact her, unless I run into her in person...

But I am seriously considering going against that advice and text her. But that will do nothing, and probably would hurt the situation.. But on the other had it may help....
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>>17525747

I'm going to Europe in 13 days. I'm suppose to be visiting a close female friend of mine for just a few days. but, shes been very busy the past month, so we haven't talked much. I asked her two days ago what she would like us to do when we meet. And she snapped on me. she yelled at me. I think it was just because of stress. But I'm worried about her. So I told her that I'm here for her, and that I am avalible when she wants o talk. But she hasn't messaged me back since.
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>>17525753

I remember you, I was the one that said you should talk to her in person and ask.

>>17525755
I know how that feels, wait a day and maybe try to engage her tomorrow. Sometimes people don't like to talk when they're angry/stressed
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>>17525762
>I remember you, I was the one that said you should talk to her in person and ask.


Yep. And I know that is the correct thing to do, but I am so tempted to go and just message her...

Also, the chances of running into her are quite slim at the college. So that may be affecting my judgement
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>>17525773

Well, if you feel like it's the right thing, then I can approve of that
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I wish I could get a job, but every job has played music and I hate music so, so much
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>>17525778
The thing is that the right thing to do is like you said wait to see her in person. But part of me is saying fuck that and just do it.
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>>17525505
Why what happened??
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>>17525762

she just went on vacation with her best friend to Crete. I sent her just a few minutes ago saying "hey, I hope you relax and enjoy your trip. I'll be thinking of you. I hope to hear back when you get home.. I send you a big hug"

I just feel worried about her. I also hope we actually do spend time together. She's the main reason I'm even going..
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>>17525789

The final choice is up to you, remember that.
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>>17525789
Yes I agree. Go ahead, do it. She's waiting for you to let her know if you're really interested..
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>>17525828
Yea... I know.

I think I'll give it a couple weeks or so to see. If I don't see her by then, then I'll message


>>17525829
Eh, probably not the case. She knows I am/was interested in her from when I asked her out in April.
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I just realized I've been walking around all day with my fly unzipped

lol
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>>17525843
I was sitting in class and drove home like that. So for like 3.5 hours today
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>>17525840

Ok, that sounds like a reasonable plan. I I'm constantly in these threads so if you need someone to talk to about it, make a post and I'll probably respond
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>>17525854
Yea, I think thats a reasonable plan, but I'll probably decide against it within a couple days, and just message her...

And thanks, I'll probably show up again.
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I feel like a bull in a china shop when it comes to interpersonal relationships, people try to get close to me and I can't really reciprocate, so they get hurt.

A friend told me about a death in their family today and I didn't even acknowledge it. I fake being normal pretty well, but that was a bit of a mistake.
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>>17525840
Do it now. She's likely had a lot happening since April
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Are you free for us to meet up the weekend? I thought you wanted us to get together for a hike out, or evening together, or both
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>>17525874
I've spoken to her on and off since then. Several times at length.

Most recent was kinda short though. It was an apology for when I accused her of lying (Turns out she was being honest)

She seemed to accept the apology, but I still kinda don't wanna risk it
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This is probably gonna be several posts long.

I've known you for 3 years, we became best friends super quickly. Soon after we caught feelings for each other, but I ended up moving across the planet. We thought that would be that but we stayed in contact. We grew closer. We kept falling for each other. We fell in love.

We decided that because of the distance we wouldn't get into a full relationship. Not until we could meet in person and see how everything panned out. We were supposed to visit each other next summer. So in less than a year's time you were meant to be wrapped up in my arms for the first time in 2 years. In less than a year's time I was going to be able to say I love you to your face for the first ever time. And in less than a year's time I was going to hear you tell me you love me to my face for the first time ever.

But until then, we weren't dating. We just wanted to be upfront with our feelings, but we were allowed to see other people. I saw one girl, Alexis. Didn't last that long. A couple months. We didn't even fuck. I decided I wanted to save myself for you. So I could lose my virginity to the girl I loved and make it that much more special.

But yeah, you never liked Alexis but you never fought my right to see her. It was never a real issue. But it didn't really last long enough to be a real issue.

But then, about a month ago, I drunkenly kissed Alexis on a night out. It didn't mean anything and I was completely allowed to do it but I still felt like I needed to tell you. I thought you'd feel annoyed for a bit but we'd carry on as usual. Nope.
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>>17525930

Sometimes small things overthrow everything
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I want to cry and mourn but I physically can't anymore.
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>>17525930
You flipped. You lost your shit and blocked me on nearly everything. I had to recover my password for an old social media account to get in contact with you again. But the damage was done. I've tried to fight to win you back for the last month of my life. For the last month I've been messaging you nearly every day begging for forgiveness. Sometimes you say you'll forgive me, that we can try and talk again. Take baby steps to repair our companionship. And we do for a few days and it's great and it goes really well and we have laughs and we enjoy it, but then you go cold. And then I'm right back at square one. You say you don't want to talk to me anymore. I beg, you agree to talk again, it goes well for a few days, you go cold and decide you don't want to talk to me anymore, rinse and repeat. And I'm exhausted.

I know I need to give you space. That's what I plan on doing. You're getting angry at me for trying to talk to me. You're mad at me because I haven't moved on yet. But it's only been a month!

You're starting to dislike me, and that terrifies me. So I'm going to give you space. And hope and pray you come back one day.

I wrote you a long message basically apologising for being a bother for the past month, explaining my feelings, and thanking you for everything you've done for me. You said you couldn't read it because you were busy, but you'd read it over the weekend. I asked you to please read it asap and say something. You ignored it. I hope I haven't fucked it up too much.

You're my best friend. I'm gonna miss your friendship so much. We fought through the distance and the time difference and we were so close to the finish line. I just want you in my life. I love you so much. I'm gonna miss you so much. I can't tell you enough. I hope you realise how much I meant to you, I hope something changes.

We're so compatible. We're perfect for each other and I just want a fraction of a chance to make things right and have you back in my life again.
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>>17525970
A month ago I was in love with the girl of my dreams and she was in love with me. We were dreaming of the day we could finally be reunited after 2 years. It was getting so close.

Now I'm heartbroken. I feel like everything's falling apart.

The worst part is that other than that, my life should be pretty great right now. Everything else is going really well for me. But I can't think about that because I'm in love with you and if I don't have you then what use is all that other shit?
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>>17525476
I could have one of a number of girls, but the one I want doesn't want me. It's so fucking painful. She's rejected me, gossiped behind my back, and yet I still keep falling for her. She isn't a bitch, she's actually nice, but I just don't know what to fucking do.

We're fine in a group with others. I make everyone laugh, she joins in, we both have a great time, making me see the good in her and fall for her. But as soon as we're alone together, shit becomes awkward as fuck and I can't even hold a fucking conversation with her, partly because I get really anxious when we're alone together and partly because she contributes fuck all to conversations.


I really don't know what to do. I couldn't care less for any other girls, I've rejected 9/10 gymnasts and others every other guy would have died for in the hope that I'd be able to get with this girl. I have girls messaging me right now, and I actually can't be bothered to ask any of them out because I can't stop thinking about this one girl.

What the fuck do I do? I keep falling for her, getting fucked over by her, picking myself up and looking towards other girls, then falling for her again. It's so fucking horrible.

I feel like she's the only girl in my fucking life.

And I know about the plenty more fish in the sea shit. The way I feel about her is just unlike the way I've ever felt about anyone else before. It's fucking soul destroying.
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>>17525955
I guess but I can't get over it.

It's literally all I've been thinking about and I'm getting depressed because of it.

I just want her back.
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>>17525970

I got blocked by people I love too, yet I don't know what caused it. It tears people apart
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>>17525991

I want you to know, you're not alone. I'm going through something similar, look
>>17525599
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>>17526001

The same here.. out of nowhere this girl who I had became very close with over the course of the past year stopped talking to me. I have no idea why. I didn't do anything wrong.

I feel terrible. I don't think I can trust women again..

What do I do..
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If he likes me the same way i like him, maybe it would have shown already... Then again, it's not like i've dropped any hints myself. Why was this shit so much easier when i was a teenager? Fuck, i'm 24 and can't even get closer to a guy i like?

Just the fact that we haven't even met irl and only talked online for years, and yet i suddenly have these feelings, is cringey enough as it is. I just want to be somewhat sure of his feelings before i make any moves or spill my spaghetti.
>>
>>17525582
Thats not what bi-polar is. Read up on it in the DSM V. You seem like you're really emotional and have poor grasp on controlling your emotions
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>>17526009

I don't know, two guys I looked up to like big brothers abandoned me two weeks ago, exactly two weeks today. I am heartbroken
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>>17525626
Contentment > Comfort

Leave everything that makes you feel comfy and relaxed and run after what excites you. At the end of your life you will be happy that you made that choice
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>>17526047

What happened?
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>>17526001
It's killing me. I'm so lost and stressed all the time. My appetite is gone and I cry myself to sleep most nights, if I even sleep.
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>>17526087

Same here, I've been acting different

>>17526051

I don't know, it's just weird that it suddenly happened
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I refuse to drop out of college. I've had a first rocky two weeks back this semester, but god dammit, I'm going to beat my depression and pass. Currently writing up a rigid schedule for every day of the week to follow. If I have to hold my own hand to force myself to get out of bed and not waste my time crying, then that's what I'll fucking do.
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I am the happiest I've been in months. Maybe even years. But this happiness comes at a price. I need to say goodbye to people and I don't know how. If I keep pretending nothing is going on maybe we could all still be friends, but that's not how this works, that's not fair to anyone involved, and they're all gonna find out anyway eventually, and the longer I delay leaving the worse it's going to be when they figure out the truth.
If anything, the fact that we'd have to stop being friends over something like this probably means we weren't very good friends in the first place, but I still cherish the bonds I've formed and the past year we all spent together. I feel like human garbage for throwing it all away like this but it's holding me back, I just want to move on with my life and be happy. It's my mistake for getting as involved with everyone as I did, anyway.
>>
I miss you so much right now. My whole body is aching.
I just want to fall asleep next to you, and feel the warmth of your skin against mine, and get mad at you for moving too much.
Read me books and smile to me when I wake up.
>>
i'm so nervous, i don't remember ever being nervous like this before.
I hope I'm ready for this.
I'm nervous to the point I actually admitted to it...oh god
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Nice everyone is happy and in love
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>>17526297
What's wrong? You pregnant or something?
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>>17526317
lol god no
i'm just going out with this guy I really like tonight. such a silly thing to be so nervous about, no?
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>>17526366
U gon get pregnant 2nite
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im constpiated
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>>17526294
I'm so happy you went the fuck away.
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>>17526366

Sometimes we get nervous over things, we can't help it. Your date will turn out well, so try not to worry.
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>>17526375
Me too!
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>>17526366
Don't forget your dental dam
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>>17525476
Lost the girl I loved most forever. Wat do now? My job sucks, my professional dreams will never came true. Help video games and fapping aren't helping anymore.
>>
>>17526371
oh fuq
>>17526387
thanks anon, I think it's just because of how much I dig the guy. holy shit.
>>17526394
oh god that's so hot, I'm soaked rn
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>>17526478

You're a lucky person, anon. To be able to be with someone very into you
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Good bye, halcyon days.
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I'm a 23 year old man and I just want someone to hug me and tell me everything's okay.
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>>17526616

It's gonna be ok, buddy.

I need someone to do and tell me that too desu
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>>17526623
Thanks man, everything's gonna be okay for you too :)
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>>17526639
I wish... But thank you
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>>17526484
shit I hope he's very into me, because I'm so into him.
I feel very lucky, and I'm afraid I may screw it up, but I just gotta be myself, like I have been. He seems to like the real me. I like that.
>>
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>>17526655

If he's going on a date with you, he's definitely into you
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my mom and I had an enlightening chat just now
what guys don't realize is that everything they do is either turning the woman on or off. every time you don't call when you said you would is decreasing her attraction. every time you say something shitty to her. every time you stand her up because you 'forgot'.

and it's true, because when he texted me just now, it was irritating. Like, go ahead and be mad that I'm busy. You were never long for this girl anyway. You have hands for a reason, and I am done feeling guilty about shit that doesn't matter to me.

I am such a bitch, and it feels really good rn.
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I'm going to kill as many women as I can before I leave this Earth. They're vindictive, puerile creatures that deserve nothing but vitriol. They've ruined my life without a hint of contrition, and I'll return the favor in kind.
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>>17526661
oh man anon, thank you, I needed to hear that. I'm such a bundle of nerves, I haven't eaten all day and I'm barely picking at this sandwich I got
It'll be easier when I actually see him, just gotta breathe.
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I want to be the best MMA fighter ever while simulatenously thinking it pointless beating others in a cage.
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>>17526671

No problem, I get super anxious sometimes so I know how it feels. I'm glad I could help. If you need more encouragement, respond back, because I post a lot in these threads
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>>17526668

Why bother? Just stop dating, and lead your own independent life. You don't HAVE to have a woman, you know
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>>17526680
I appreciate you, you're a good person.
I feel like I shouldn't be this nervous because we get along so well and i'm usually so comfortable around him
it's been a rollercoaster of a month so it feels like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop I guess
it's gonna be okay but man, being nervous is so new to me, I've been shaking a lot today.
I just need to eat this dang food so I don't die when I drink later!
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>>17526680
If you ever put someone in trouble i hope you find out so you can regret it forever.
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>>17526702

Eat your food and drink some water, also chilling out and listening to music may help calm your nerves
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>>17526704

O fuk
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>>17526704
whoa that's cryptic, did you reply to the wrong post?
>>17526709
I'm eating and listening to music, gonna pour myself a huge glass of water and keep cleaning when I'm done. Shower and make my bed, too, once my sheets are dry
>>
You know what, forget all the stuff i said in the posts from the last thread

i'll just do it, that smile keeps hitting like a truck every day and i just can't keep all these toughts inside my mind

i don't know how im going to do it but next week during that party i'll just tell her how happy seeing her smile makes me feel, and i know i'll probably get rejected once again, but there is just no other way, i have to get this out or i'll not be able to concentrate on anything else
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>>17526720

Be brave, anon
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>>17526668

Don't kill anon, it's not right.
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>>17526718
I didn't.
I hate when people go around saying everything will be alright to every living soul without even knowing anything about them. They think they are doing something good but many times false hope will hurt the person they are 'trying' to help more than anything.
Their words are also meaningless because they say it to everybody without any distinction.
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>>17526736

https://youtu.be/rQ28FcRePAo
Anon, what is troubling you?
>>
I hate talking about emotional shit.
So much more so when sober.

I'm going to call my sister tomorrow and ask her if I could stay with her for a while.
She's had a real hard couple of years.
She had a son out of wedlock, then broke up with the father.
Has hard job problems too.
Been real distant from the rest of the family.
We're not exactly the touchy feely "talk every week" type families, but I haven't talked to her in what must be a year now.

I want to stay with her for a while because I'm joining the military and I need somewhere to stay for only a few months. Renting an apartment for less than a year is hard, especially when it's not moving season.

I've talked to my dad about it and he thinks it's a great idea. He's a bit hurt that she's been distant from him too.

It makes perfect sense. I can cook her dinner when she comes home from work. I can look after my nephew so she can go out once and a while.
I can even pay part of the rent.


But I'm afraid to call because while it makes perfect sense logically, emotional things are so difficult to express.
I've been putting it off for too long
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>>17526741
The fact that you haven't seen the face of someone who encouraged an innocent girl, who they barely knew, to go for it and then find out the guy beat the shit out her.
>>
>>17526763
Did this happen to you?
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>>17526768
Not me but i've seen it happen and i've been given false hope my whole life and fucking believed, fuck that shit.
That's why i hate this bullshit; someone who lives in a bubble goes around distributing encouraging words to people they will never see without realizing actions have consequences and that's why you have to know the situation beforehand.
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>>17526776

I'll dig deeper next time before saying anything then, I can see your point now.
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>>17526783
Nice.
Funny story:
One day some guy who went to college with my mom told her he was feeling sick and then she gathered a fuck ton of medice and gave to him on the next day, and, for some fucking reason, he took them all. She said he missed class for 3 days because he his gut was hurting too much; they never spoke to each other again.
>>
>>17526790

Why did he think it was a good idea to take all the medication?
>>
I don't think I will ever be suited for a day job. I struggle to get out of bed every morning, I can't be assed to fix my hair or put on makeup. I can do my actual job just fine, but everything else that it entails, especially to move up into the company, is just completely jarring to me. My personality was apparently too brash for me to move up at my old retail job. How do I find the right line of work for myself? A female who is way above average in terms of most skill sets for her age but has the social skills of an autistic rock? I would think that I would like to work in a restaurant like I once did for a short time, but there's nothing but shitty chains in my area. Just at such a loss here. I'm not sure I'm suited for anything and should just resign myself to being a craigslist masseuse.
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my crazy girlfriend, hope to see you soon.
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>>17526792
I have no idea, neither thought things through.
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>>17526811
Fuckin rip man
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I'm starting at one of the best colleges in US, but all I can feel about is dread.

It started out okay; I tried to follow the standard internet advice about participating in the official events, leaving door open, etc., and I did at least get to know my hall a little (at my school there is a weeklong social orientation with your hall), but it's already starting to unravel. I think people are starting to notice what a weirdo I am. I can't start any conversation that isn't about school or some mundane question. I hardly have any interests other than academics. The other day, there was a thing where all the student activities had booths to advertise themselves, and I couldn't even approach them or talk to them. Then I got into a conversation with a guy in my hall about a common interest, and I just completely sperged out through the whole thing. No eye contact, stuttering, incoherent rambling, the whole works. Incredibly awkward and embarrasing. I also haven't attended any of the events involving drinking because I'm scared of alcohol and because I know I would just walk around aimlessly the whole time.

Today was the worst. I just laid in bed with the lights off all day thinking about death. I couldn't even make it to the dining hall, so now I'm probably going to be too hungry to sleep well. Meanwhile my whole hall is at an event that I probably would enjoy (or at least tolerate) and all I can do is sit here.

I'm going to see a pyschologist sometime in the next week or so, but I'm not optimistic. I just can't imagine any version of myself that isn't like this.

/blogpost
>>
>>17526811
In all honesty, I don't always tell everyone that it's going to be ok. But I now know to be even more careful and learn more before hand.
>>
From the previous thread...

>>17524381
Your reply was hard to decipher, but it IS her and not him.

We all sat down and had a talk (online and not even in person/skype because she's a fucking coward) and she told me how she felt and refused to be open-minded about anything other than her own "ideals". My friend is a fucking cinnamon roll and she's a fucking psycho. But they're "in love" and he's too beta to leave her. Honestly it's because he's so used to getting walked all over because she has him on a leash 24/7. Fuck that bitch. But I dunno...I guess if she makes him happy, I can't come between them. I just wish she wasn't such a fucking cunt.
>>
>>17526834
Can you explain how she is a "psycho"?
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>>17526816
I think he died a few years ago.
>>17526833
Yeah, caution is always good.
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>>17526851

Yeah, I just wanted to clear that up. Shit ain't always rainbows and lolly pops in this world.
>>
>>17526850
I guess "psycho" is a bit harsh. She's just your typical annoying girlfriend stereotype where she talks about nothing with him, lies about how she feels, is passive aggressive about everything, and runs away when things get tough on her end. Every time I talk to him, he's like "oh we had problems again" and it's just frustrating watching a nice guy like that with a girl like her. I mean people are different behind closed doors...maybe she's not annoying as shit deep down. I don't know. He has to sneak around just to talk to me online. All we do is sit around talking about anime and shit, and she assumes I'm trying to flirt or some shit.
>>
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>>17525476
I'm 32 years old and get teary-eyed and choked up at disney movies. I'm still laughing that my cousin hung himself at the day of his mothers birthday, didn't care that my cat died (just don't see a reason to be really sad, she had a great life and i loved her). But those weird vulnerable redeaming moments in dumb childrens stories get me all weepy. Is that a sign of something specific or am I just being a weirdo?
>>
>>17526875
Sounds rather controlling, has your friend ever shown discontent over this? Or is he acting like everything is fine?
>>
>>17526883
He seems to just put up with it. He's my friend but goddamn is he beta. Even with his job: they overwork him and don't pay him overtime and he just tolerates it and never says anything. I've given him advice and told him how fucked up things really are and he knows, he just won't do anything about it.

I mean it's his life, and like if he doesn't want to do something I can't/won't force him. I just wish he could be happy again. He's a nice guy and doesn't deserve the shit that he goes through.
>>
I'm not selfish for choosing my dream job over my girlfriend, am I? I mean the choice seems way too obvious, but normies get so triggered
>>
>>17526736
oh okay
well
i do know i'm going to be alright
nothing breaks me though it tries
and in the face of adversity, i remember those who have been kind
>>
>>17526909
yeah unless your dream work is something really stupid

also what is keeping you from having both?
>>
>>17525476
>think I should slow down and think things through more carefully instead of going off half-cocked all the time

>friends mentions something about how they are feeling kinda shitty
>immediately think 'i should offer to stop by tomorrow, we can hang and talk and maybe they'll end up feeling better'
>stop and think about it for a second
>well maybe that would be counter-productive
>if I didn't want someone to come over I'd also hate to be put in a position where I had to tell them 'no'
>so maybe I shouldn't make the offer
>but what if I'm just thinking that because I don't want to be in a position where I can receive a no?

What the fuck? Why is my brain acting like this? I cannot tell anymore if something is the result of my self loathing or logic, or anything.
>>
>>17526896

I see, wanting to intervene yet respecting his choices. It's a tough situation. Maybe you could talk to him one on one about it, but we can't always make people do what is best. In the end, it's your choice on your actions
>>
>>17525582
Like the other anon said, you don't sound bipolar. I don't think there's anything psychiatrically wrong with you that needs to be fixed.
You're just a human under severe stress, and you're dealing with it the best you can.
Rely on friends and family, and remove sources of strain. Try to relax more and think less.

>>17525623
The hell are you doing? That doesn't sound like a healthy diet to me, anon. And it ain't Ramadan so what's up?

>>17525627
Try to be there for her as much as possible. Sometimes people don't have anyone else.
>>
>>17525627
Tell her that before she kills herself that she should let you smash. Her utter revulsion at the idea of you ejaculating into her body will make her realize she actually isn't worthless and she'll no longer self care or want to die.

But if she does let you smash, take her to the mental hospital for observation.
>>
>>17526917
She wants constant attention and it involves a lot of traveling. The job is playing with one of the US service bands btw
>>
>>17526913

Are you the anon I was talking to about going on a date? I do think you will be ok, but he has a point, as not knowing much about the guy himself.
>>
>>17526938
>what's up
It's very easy to handle hunger and cooking is annoying so i don't bother...
>>
>>17525681
>I hate crowds and sometimes easily hate people too. I hate having responsibilities,
Same here, anon. Though i'm the opposite when it comes to change: the only time the depression and anxiety ever let up is during the biggest changes, the most powerful stress. I just started college for the 4th time this year. Each time i ace everything, 4.0 no problem, but then get tired and annoyed with doing the same damn thing every day, and i crave change so much i fuck it up or drop out just for a change of pace.
This time though, i know all that. I know myself much better, i know my strengths and limitations, and i'll figure out ways to work with them. This time, i'm going all the way to the end.
You can do it too, anon, i'm sure.

>it's like I'm a kid that refuses to do what he doesn't want.
Everyone avoids doing things they don't want to do. It's part of being human. The only people that always do the thing they're "supposed" to do are people suffering from compulsivity disorders (eg OCD, OCPD, etc) and they don't live anything resembling happy lives.

>How the fuck will I survive when I'm done with college?
Same as all the rest of us. However you can. I'll let HST preach it:
>I have learned to live, as it were, with the idea that I will never find peace and happiness, either.
>But as long as I know there's a pretty good chance I can get my hands on either one of them every once in a while,
>I do the best I can between high spots.
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>>17525476

This is probably the end of the line for me and at this point I don't even give a fuck anymore.

I literally tried to do something the last 7 years since I ended up school, tried to study in college, then change to another course, then back to college, and then finally this year decided to give up on study something because really I did not liked study, and I only did it because of the money, not because there was a topic of my interest.
Tried to look for a work since some months but truth be told I only tried the first weeks, and since I have no talents apart from my studies from 7 years ago and knowing that my city in my country is the second with most unemployed people, well I literally just chose not make an effort after three weeks looking.

In the end I really just don't give a fuck anymore, If I can I maybe going to put a little effort in catch something in a future but until then well, I'll just do the usual thing I've been doing all these 7 years, using the pc and that's it. Even if I know is not fair for my father and grandmother (I live with them) I just don't give a fuck anymore, and I'm going to abuse this until I find some job without looking that much or they kick me out of the house (I'm 24 also and never have a real job aside from one shit I did on summer for some actor which pretty much does not count)

I'm probably going to get hate here but whatever, I'm tired of make an effort and end up failing or make the effort and have it have no real value whatsoever.

If I can't have a good life the relatively easy way then fuck it, as I said I'm not making a big effort anymore.

I'm a selfish cold hearted lazy bastard and I have no shame in acknowledging it nor I desire to be "better"
>>
That useless feeling is getting stronger, rather than passing. What if I start feeling jealous over stuff that doesn't concern me and I have no right to? Even if I don't express the jealousy, experiencing it will tick me off. If I cut all contact with them, it'll gradually just turn to nothing, but I'll miss the conversations and it'd be incredibly rude and cruel to do for a nonsense reason. There's no use in expressing the crush itself, because it's a crush nothing more, with nothing between us besides a few conversations we can have every now and then. It's impossible for anything to come from the feeling itself. But the feeling is annoying and inconvenient. Crushes were meant to cease being a concern by the time you left school. I'm 22, this isn't welcome, but I don't really know how to handle it besides just having the sensation annoy me. Things are easier when you don't care
>>
>>17526930
I've tried that too. He just won't change. Maybe both of them are perfect for each other - they're both stubborn.

I'd hate to just leave him to be trampled on but it feels like that's my only choice. I'll still be there for him as much as possible but for now he has to learn the hard way. Sucks.
>>
I hope people like the letter thread OP pic i just slapped together. Felt inspired after seeing the abomination another anon posted for this thread a while back.

>>17525746
>I feel like my family is starting to give up on me and is just going to stop bothering with me because I feel so negative.
Trust me, that ain't gonna happen. They'll keep hoping for ya long, LONG after you've stopped hoping for yourself.

>>17525983
Damn anon, i was in your exact shoes 6 months ago. I sure as hell learned my lesson.
Don't waste your time and energy on people who don't give a flying fuck about you.
Try to forget her as much as possible. The moment you can convince yourself that it's never going to happen and that she feels absolutely nothing towards you is the moment you start the road to recovery.
>>
>>17526991

Sometimes people have to learn the hard way, just be there for him if the relationship crashes
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>>17526995
Dude the pic is cool as shit? How'd you do it?
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>>17525704
K,

I am with you now, not her.

You can stop posting, as there has been enough drama.

- R
>>
>>17526943
yeah, that's me! yes, once he explained, I understood where he was coming from, makes sense now.
>>
>>17526997
Oh yeah of course. He was there for me when I was going through shit. I will always be there for him in return.
>>
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>>17526009
>I feel terrible. I don't think I can trust women again.
Is that a problem? Don't stupidly trust people unless/until they give you an actual reason to do so.
My policy is that I only put blind faith in God and Christ: all others must earn it.
And frankly, girls are fickle. They do that. Best to get used to it now. Save your trust for the people who need and deserve it.

>>17526027
>I just want to be somewhat sure of his feelings before i make any moves or spill my spaghetti.
Anon, this mentality is the root cause of these problems. Nobody has the balls to go first! Don't hedge and hide. If you like someone, make it obvious. Pardon the memes, but you only live once. What is there to be afraid of? Him not liking you? That's quite simply out of your control. All you can do is play your own hand, you don't get to see what anyone else is holding until the end.

>>17526662
>everything they do is either turning the woman on or off
>every time you don't call when you said you would is decreasing her attraction
This is the one thing that really bothers me about women, the one thing that can get me to sympathize with misogynists and r9k fucks.
Most guys don't like or love conditionally like that. Instead, we're like dogs: we'll stay loyal no matter how many times you kick us. Just see... half the posts in these threads (eg >>17525983).
The things you said don't decrease OUR attraction.
Don't pick up when we call? That's fine, we'll try again later.
Ditch us for someone else? Shit-talk us behind our backs? No big deal.
Yell at us? Blame us for your problems? We'll pretend it didn't happen.
Other girls want our dicks? We'll completely ignore them.
Block us? Move away? Find someone else? We won't stop hoping.
Ghost us for 6 months? We'll be right here if you ever change your mind.
>>
>>17526795
>I can do my actual job just fine, but everything else that it entails, especially to move up into the company, is just completely jarring to me.
>My personality was apparently too brash for me to move up at my old retail job.
>How do I find the right line of work for myself?
>A female who is way above average in terms of most skill sets for her age but has the social skills of an autistic rock?
My father fits that description and he makes 6 figures as an engineer. Many of his colleagues are similar.
Of course, he'd make a hell of a lot more if he had any social skills, since he'd have been promoted into management 20 years ago, but we gotta take what we can get.

>>17526820
>I also haven't attended any of the events involving drinking because I'm scared of alcohol and because I know I would just walk around aimlessly the whole time.
Do it faggot. Alcohol is a potent anxiolytic and can immensely improve social anxiety like yours. You may find that after a couple beers, all of your difficulties evaporate. And alcohol is pretty good even when you're drinking alone. Better to feel numb than miserable. I'm drinking right now, so i'm not just talking shit.

>I'm not optimistic. I just can't imagine any version of myself that isn't like this.
Get a grip for a second. Look up the treatment rates, they're enormous. CBT alone has something like upwards of a 40% success rate iirc.
>>
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I hate fat people, i hate public transport, i hate handicapped people, i hate cygani, i hate women with baby stroller
>>
>>17525476
Im in love with a girl and we barely know each other. We've know each other for about a year, we were in a class last year and we sat across from one another, along with one of her good friends and one of my 'friends' (all of us were juniors, now seniors in high school), so we all naturally chatted. I dont know what it is about her but I fell in love very quickly. Heres the issue: I have no confidence in myself. I lost it a long time ago. From what, I dont know. All i know is I havent been very good at socializing for about 3 years now, especially when it comes to new people. I get lucky and make a friend or two every once in a while, but by summer, 90% of the time it all goes to shit. So 3 days ago i worked up the courage to DM her on twitter, and we exchanged numbers. We havent chatted since then, which worries me. I really want to ask her out on a date, but i have no money or a car and she lives about a mile or two away. So ive decided to just skip all that bull and open up to her, tell her my sorrows and how I feel about her. And heres where my lack of confidence kicks in. I dont know if she'll ignore it or tell me to fuck off or what. She seems like she'd be nice enough to give me a chance, but then again I dont know her that well. What do I do? Do i open up or shut up? And if i should open up, how?

All this has been buzzing in my head for a while now and it's exhausting.
>>
>>17527248
Thanks for your response anon. I can work extremely well, but my job needs a sort of creative outlet. My current job, i suggested changes for efficiency the first week, and they became offended by it. I think i just should look at a new career path.
>>
>starting year three of LWR
>only benised the cat and the architect so far
>elf left
what am i doing wrong?
>>
>>17525476
I'm probably going to die to a gale of hurricane winds tomorrow but It'll be worth it if I arrive at my destination
>>
Growing up I was raised by my mom and my older sister. My dad tried to be there, but gave up on us.

My mom really did what she could to support us, and I will always be grateful. She's the reason I am who I am today, and I will always be grateful. She's taught me right from wrong all on her own, and I will always be grateful.

Growing up in a single-parent household where you see your parent struggling not for luxury, but for survival...kinda fucks you up. I'm in college now for CS and by all accounts very, very 'successful' already. I've had tons of internships, TAing for and taking masters courses as an undergrad, etc.

That said, despite all of my successes I can never break out of this poor man's mentality. I feel like it's baked into my whole self – like I'll never be able to let it go. My mom struggled and hustled day in and out to raise us and put us through school – how can I feel accomplished at this point?

I worry that no ledge on the anthill of success will ever be sturdy enough. I worry that my accomplishments will stay in the shadow of this survival mentality. I worry that I'm not doing enough, and I worry that I'm doing too much.
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>>17527222
Please. don't project your loser bullshit on the rest of us.
Low quality guys and low quality girls stick with each other because they're the best they're going to get. I assure you that neither Stacey nor Chad is going to keep giving you the time of day if you fuck around and don't take responsibility.

Let's make something clear, you're not some loyal dog martyr, you're a desperate little pin dick.
>>
>>17527331
thot detected

deploying poisoned pumpkin spice latte
>>
I have this insane crush on this girl who barely knows me and its killing me inside.

Lots of people consider her unattractive, but she's a leader in our high school and she's popular. Her circle of friends and fellow leaders is pretty big. However, she almost never sees me. I'm in her grade and I know one of her fellow leaders well.

I started texting her like a year ago, and I made constant fucking mistakes. She would never respond as fast as I would and it hurt me. She typically goes on snapchat.

I've looked for an opporunity to talk to her for two weeks and haven't found one. I wanted to talk to her and pose it as a "hey how can I become a leader next year" type of thing, but there would be better people to talk to;it would be out of the blue.

I know her snapchat username (I got it from someone) but would it be okay to add her randomly?

I'm crushing on like 3 people at the moment, partially because I'm thirsty and partially because I just want someone to love. I just spoke with my friends, and they seem distant.
>>
>>17527331
I ain't talking about myself specifically with that ranty shit at the end (i have my own problems), i'm talking about >>17525983 and co. I see guys like that in these threads all the time, and i feel bad for them. I try to offer advice when i can, but most of them are just really goddamn fucking devoted and won't see their girl as anything but a perfect goddess no matter how much she shits all over them.

I guess the hopeless romantic in me says it's noble in a way. To stay true to someone like that. It's something I haven't seen from women. But women are supposed to be the more emotional, nurturing, touchy-feely gender, right? And women are more enthusiastic about all that old-school romance courtship crap as well. So wouldn't it make more sense for women to get caught up in these sorts of situations?

Why are we the ones running headfirst into unrequited or "star-crossed" love instead?
>>
>>17525476
Been in a fucked up relationship that I know I need to get out of for years. Pretty sure they are sociopathic and they constantly make me feel shitty about myself but I lick their boots like a dog anyway. Cheated on me and I forgave them. Basically told me today that I've gotten fat. In college trying to better myself and they work like 20 hours a week at a shit job and blow their money. They aren't that much of a looker either. But I'm just so scared that nobody else will want me because of how little they've made me feel about myself. Fuck it all. I'll be fat and have literally no self esteem like a little bitch.
So fucking tired of all of this shit.
Just need to get the hell away from them and better myself.
>>
I hit a point where I feel more like myself than I have in over six months, and it feels really good. Before now, I've just been coping, I've been unable to eat or sleep, wondering when you would next disrupt my life. It's taken a really long time, but now it doesn't bother me. I'm going to get back to healthy by myself for myself, and you can do the same yourself. Just keep fucking off, I said my piece, you know how I feel, and any attempt at more contact now that I've finally hit a better place is just selfish. You've done enough damage, M. I hope you have finally realized how much damage you did, because even though work sucked this week, I've been better than I have been in a really long time because I'm 90% certain you aren't going to butt into my life. It's a huge weight off of my shoulders.
>>
>>17527428
>have shitty relationship
>>man I wish I was single

>be shittily single
>>man I wish I had a relationship

what if life is just ultra shitty in general?
i'm fat too and it's true no one wants me, but maybe you'd be better off?
>>
My landlord came to my door demanding I pay my rent in cash. I refused because there would be no way to prove I paid them. They got butthurt saying they'd be back in an hour, but they never came back. I'm fine with paying my rent, just not in a way that could possibly screw me over. I'm worried they're going to be starting trouble with me, but I have no where else to move to.
>>
>>17527435
I honestly don't even believe I'm that overweight. I just think this person gets off on making me feel as unwanted as possible. We've been in a relationship for 8 years, no kids.
>>
>>17527442
ouch, sorry senpai
better unhitch that wagon soon if you do want kids before she gets too old
>>
>>17527452
I'm a girl for the record. And I know typically there are overweight bitches everywhere spouting that they are not this and not that and blah blah blah. But I honestly don't believe I am. But then again maybe I'm just fucking delusional.
>>
>>17527459
oh. my point still stands
>>
I want to hang out with my best friend.
He got married a few months back to a someone I disagree with.

I want to tell him that I want to watch his favourite movie with him. It's one of my favourite movies too.
We are brothers, you see.
We think the same. We're different but the same. I know what he's thinking and he knows what I'm thinking before we say anything.
I've known him for over 15 years.
Fuck me, I miss him.
>>
my girlfriend is away with her family, it's Friday and I'm horny as hell and I'm even considering going to a strip club someone stop me
>>
Hey look when I tell you to hang back and be in my line of sight so I can heal you, just fucking do it okay??? The 3 seconds it takes for you to back off and find a health pack or me to heal you is better than waiting to respawn.

Also listen when I tell you an enemy is flanking us. "What do you mean when you say they're coming from behind???" I mean that they're literally coming from behind. They went around you and now they are directly behind you. Where the fuck other kind of behind is there?

And hey, dude, fella... I like you but don't be bossy. I've been playing this game as long as you have so I know what I'm doing in a raid. Stop giving "suggestions" for what classes people should play or the weapons to use. We don't NEED to do the raid/activity with specific gear to get it done. Chill.

I swear, I feel like I'm more salty playing games with friends than with randoms.
>>
>>17527488
Just shut up and focus on servicing my long thick health bar you healslut
>>
the date went really well and I'm so fucking ecstatic right now!!!!
oh my god he's just such a good man. oh my god I'm so lucky.
I don't even wanna sleep, but I must.
Thank you to the anon who gave me encouragement!! ahhhhhh!
>>
I miss you. I hope you get back from shopping soon, so we can spend the day together
>>
I get way to obsessive over everything

It's just in my nature and I have no idea why

If I like something, I just do it more and more.

It's why I stay away from alcohol and drugs. I get "addictive" very, very fast.

This combined with the fact I have low self esteems probably makes me annoying/unwanted to girls.

I've only ever had one girl be my "friend" and apparently she doesn't like me more than friends.

I feel like she was different around me, she seemed more open and happy with me, but I have no idea.

DESU, since I never had a girlfriend before, me and her would do a lot of one on one things and I'd feel like I was her boyfriend. I mean, I know it's silly, but that's how I felt. Ex: She went to a dance event on campus and was like "Come oooooon! Come with me, it'll be fun, I promise." I said okay, went with her, and me and her just walked around enjoying the event together. This probably sounds stupid to anyone who had experience with girls, but that's how I felt. She treated me like she'd treat a boyfriend, or at least how I imagine most girls treat their boyfriend.

I dunno. I have no experience with girls, and I recently saw something to do with her, and this is what I mean by "obsessive". She rejected me 3 months ago and I still have a tendency to think about her. The fuck is wrong with me?
>>
My love life can be summed up as either me being anxious and missing my chance with a girl that likes me, or meeting a girl that likes me but has a boyfriend.

I feel cursed.
>>
I'm single, and it's not on social media because I don't want to be judged on why I'm not in a relationship. If I have such information to share, I will share it. There's someone I'm really into that may feel the same, and as such, I'm not available for dating others
>>
Dear D
I thought you liked me. We talk every night continuously. I really felt a connection beyond friendship. But, I guess that you guy you met really did it for you, huh? I like how you say you tell me everything, but you didn't even fucking tell me about him. I literally tell you everything and I'm more open with you then any other person! Even more then my best friend! You could at least tell me you fucking have a thing with him. That's right I saw you saying "Night bby!" Under the table to him. I thought we had enough of a bond that you would at least tell me that you're see ing another guy. Wtf am I to you? It honestly hurts me more then anything that you wouldn't just tell me that you're dating him. Whatever, I guess I'm just destined to be people's friends. I'm just everyone's little comfort friend who tells them what they want to hear so they're confident enough to ask somebody else out. I'm glad everyone's happy and I'm just lonely that's fine. Don't get me wrong I'm glad you're happy, that's the only thing I ever wanted. It just hurts me that you couldn't just simply tell me that you're seeing him. The fact that you were not telling me anything is what fucking hurts. I hope everyone's just happy in there little shitty relationships. You can all go fuck yourselves.
-Love, B
>>
>>17527607
I fucking feel you man. It's okay people tell me there is someone for everyone. I don't know if that's true or not, but I guess we will find out, huh?
>>
>>17527665
It'll happen someday.
It's just the frustration takes a toll on you.
>>
>>17527693
It's taking a lot out of me man. More then I can bare. Why can't someone just want to start fucking texting me, instead of me texting them?! Why is that so hard for me to find someone who talks to me like the way she talks to her whatever the fuck she thinks he is to her. Whatever I'm glad she's happy, I'm just fucking mad she didn't tell me shit. Like I love her, but she won't even fucking tell me she's dating someone! Why am I just everyone's shoulder to cry on and never there fucking boyfriends. I ask how people's days go. Everybody likes it, all I hear about is about them. Nobody fucking bothers to ask how my day went! I'm just a fucking piece of expendable trash and I'm sick of it! I'm sorry to rent but all of these relationships that fall into people's laps really piss me off. Why can't I be happy?!?!
>>
>>17527701
I have the same problem man. I feel as though I could vanish off the face of the earth and no one would care.

Its taxing when it seems like everyone just uses you as a sponge to absorb all their emotions. But thats because we're human and you can't say you haven't done the same to someone else. We're all imperfect, selfish humans with our heads up our asses 23 hours of the day. So to me its not a surprise anymore, because I don't expect a thank you from people. I ask about their day and whatever, but I do it because its polite and I care about them, not because I think I deserve the same in return. Because thats not going to happen every time. Just be patient and it will come, but you can't expect it as a given. When you stop thinking the world owes you something for what you're doing, you'll be much happier.

You might even get a girlfriend as icing on the cake. But it won't be because you asked how their day was. It will be because they like you for who you are when you're not even trying.

Chill out and stay happy OP :)
>>
Its pretty irrelevant but would like some advice on this

my gf's best friend asked her to ask me to like her (the best friends) fb picture. She has like 400+ likes already. I dont like when people ask you to 'like' stuff on fb, especially when it feeds someones ego. should I just do it? I feel like if I dont then her best friend wont like me which is probably not a good thing. im pretty conflicted, i think asking for likes/caring about likes is pathetic yet i dont want to get on the bad side of her female best friend (i've never met the best friend)
>>
My mood went from a 3 out of 10 to a 10 out of 10!

You're lovely
>>
For treating me kind of shit, I'm going to cheat on you :-) You'll kiss my lips like the hog you are, without knowing someone else's cum covered my lips. Okay that's kind of gross,
maybe another man's lips. Yeah...

I can't do it... fuck. But I feel that if I do, though you won't be aware, you'll treat me better.

That's how these things work. Relationships. They're jokes...
>>
>>17527723
no, that's insecure and dumb as fuck.
Literally what the fuck lmao

Tell her that's embarssingly insecure and stupid and laugh at her.

100% guarantee those likes are
mostly from random guys that she adds without knowing. It's what these sluts I know admitted tj doing
>>
>>17527738
Sort it out. Grow up. If you're being treated badly, move on from these silly games. Relationships can be wonderful
>>
>>17527723
YOU havent even MET her before HaHjahahahahahahahahahahaha

they're testing to see how cuck-like you are
>>
I like this girl in this group I have. She's awesome, we're pretty close but I can't say she's mine for sure.This fucker I know, basically an ethnic Chad, recently got pretty close to her during a party at my friend's house, and I know she previously found him attractive. They ended up spooning and she caught feelings. She realized, with our help, what a liar and cruel intentions he had. She got hurt from it because she essentially was led on. And she really seemed like she moved on, I was relieved because I was worried

She just hit me with the "I still like him..."

I reminded her that he lied about how he felt about her, and how he even forgot to mention he had a gf at the time. Now she's all unsure of anything. She said her reasoning is "she gives too many chances and has a soft side" and feels like shit. I really don't know what else to tell her.

I may have become her gay bestfriend, I'm willing to accept that. I just don't want her to end up with a guy like that if I can avoid it. I'm just...I don't know. Jealous and scared I guess.
>>
>>17527660
is being a friend so bad? No wonder she didn't tell you.. your reaction,, and she doesn't want to lose another friend ::
>>
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I can't stop being paranoid about my friends.

Every friendship i feel overwhelmed with jealously and suspicion. It tears me apart from everyone.

It also makes me frightened to think what will ever happen if i'm ever in a relationship with a significant other.
>>
>>17527740
>sort it out
how
>communicate
lol that doesn't help
>break up
but...
>>
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I feel like a fucking loser I was homeschooled from third grade. Never had a gf and even though I'm not socially awkward (not that much anyways) I can never really get past the flirting faze with girls (mostly because I'm oblivious and have no idea when they actually like me.) Its gotten to the point where I can't even imagine myself with a girl so I'v pretty much have given up on relationships and have the "it will happen when it happens mentality" the only problem with that is everyone else is getting busy and getting experience while I'm just sitting here. (I keep getting razzed about being a virgin too so that sucks I guess.) I also hate all social media and deleted my facebook 4 years ago (which my friend razzes me about) on top of that i feel like a fucking retard. I always hated school even though i liked learning i just hated everything about being "forced" to learn, long story short I wanted to get out as soon as possible so in my junior year of highschool I went through summer school to get out a semester early and start community college. I did get out a semester early but I decided against starting college in the winter semester. That lead to me just sitting around working as a Lifeguard (dont know how the fuck I got the job I'm not fit at all) . Fast forward a few months I started community college and I didn't study for my placement test at all so I got stuck in the idiot math class and stuck in a lower English class than I should be in. The teaches for both are just awful. In my English class I have a politically charged nightmare of a teacher (she's a fat black lady that talks about trump and black lives matter.) Hell we don't even get anything done in that class and I'm just dreading the subjects she's going to assign. cont.
>>
>>17527739
Yeah it feels dumb as fuck to like it, her best friend wants likes so badly she has to ask her best friend to ask her bf to like it (me)

>>17527741
My gf is from a different town, she lives in same town as me so her friends are from another town which I haven't been to. obviously i've met my gf many times lol
>>
>>17527753
I wish I was homeschooled. :(
>>
>>17527758
i know i meant the friends.
you wont meet them and even if you do who cares lmao
>>
>>17527753
Meanwhile in my math class I have a teacher with a heavy accent (not that it really matters because it's idiot math) but she actually marked me wrong on a question because she thinks that 9x7=72 so I'm a little worried about that. I'll probably end up dropping that class and see if I can get in a different math class. On the other side of my life. My best friend of 7 years recently got a gf and she loves him to death now desu I am a bit jealous but its not for normal reasons like she's really good looking or stuff its more of the fact that this relationship kind of fell into his lap ( I also knew this girl for 7 years because my best friend and i have a mutual friend (that is her bother) that we have also known for 7 years) so this girl has apparently been crazy about him for years and years to the point of almost stalking him ( like her desktop background on her computer was just a collage of pictures of my best bud. so with this mentality I have with girls I almost feel teased in a sense. Of course I never let any of this show or brought it up with my best bud but it's like a poison in the back of my already polluted mind. I'm guessing no one is going to read all of this and I guessing its nothing special but I figured I'd try coming out of my shell and bit and "talk" to someone about this even if it is just one sided. /blog/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ZMRHOgU4bs
that's a song I like. I figured it could be some sort of "thank you" or whatever
>>
I'm wide awake at 545a on a Saturday morning. Oh my God I am gonna fall for this guy so hard. I just need one more hour of sleep, body
>>
Is falling out of love really a thing or am I just an asshole? Shes still crazy about me but all I feel is her holding me back.
>>
Dermatologist told me at first visit that I might have a chronic skin problem that's impossible to cure and will probably continue to get worse as I get older.

I just want to slice my face off or just wear a surgical mask for the rest of my life. I was okay with being ugly in pretty much nearly every aspect besides my skin, but this is over the line. Being unattractive wouldn't bother me but I know looks are just way too important to ignore. It's already hard enough to struggle to deal with myself, but knowing others are gonna look at my face and have disgust as their first impression makes me sick.

I just feel so fucking ridiculous spiraling back into another depressive state over some isolated bumps. Fucking crying at the fridge or whenever I do something mundane because all I can think about is how much uglier I'm gonna get.
>>
This week on, "I repressed severe trauma involving a friend for a decade and, instead of getting over it, I filled the void she lefted with other problematic people and, now that all of them are gone and I need to function like a real adult, it is becoming painfully obvious that I'm still emotionally 12 inside, thus limiting my ability to be productive."
>>
For fucks sake, why can't i just play my damn guitar and not care what my neighbours will think! I've been playing for 10+ years and have the skill level of someone who have played for 1 year because of this immense and irrational fear i have for being judged in the way i play!

Every time i turn up the volume some piece of shit voice inside of me says "You know everyone is listening, and everyone can hear how fucking stupid you sound when you play ziggy stardust over and over and can't get it 100% right". I make absolute 0% progress because of this, because i don't dare to sing or play loud, i don't dare to fail or practice because the silent voice in me says i'm cringey and embarrassing.

And i KNOW ALL THIS IS BULLSHIT, and yet i feel a great tugging in my throat and stomach each time i think i play too loud, so i play as silently as i possibly can, and now i've reached a dead end. I wont get better unless this fear goes away.
>>
>>17527857
Initials? Personally I think you don't fall out of real love
>>
I know you want to hang out and do shit soon, I wanted to see you too. The thought of seeing you, and knowing that you've lied to me continuously has made me rethink it. I know I'm nothing to you and you can do so much better than me, go do it. I'm not playing this game any more, you make me angry.
>>
>>17528040
How do you know you're nothing to them?
>>
I've fallen for him, and we both gave the impression we wanted to meet up and spend more time together, now i'm stuck between that limbo point of our acknowledgement ( which is great) and trying to make further plans. The only way to justify it is by some declaration of feeling but I don't want to be left feeling awkward, because although he seems to feel the same, I'm still not sure and don't know how to progress. I'm terrible at reading signals
>>
>>17525476
I am a pathetic weakling and i want to die
>>
I love you. You're the best thing that has ever happened to me. I feel like we are perfect together. The feeling is so lovely, thank you
>>
>>17527488
You sound like the worst person to play games with. I hope your "friends" replace you.
>>
>>17527970
If you play electric guitar, why not invest in one of those mini amps with a headphone jack?
>>
>>17528039
What like our initials?
>>
>>17528046
Being treated like shit, taken for granted, never invited or included in anything. If I say anything about how I feel, which is based in reality, I'm called a bitch. If you meant something to someone, wouldn't you expect to be shown some decency and kindness?
>>
>>17528129
are you a woman being taken for granted?
>>
I'll be back inside the hour
>>
>>17528133
Yes anon.
>>
>>17528138
Sorry to hear that. If you are being excluded. Trying bringing it up with your partner. Perhaps they didn't realise. If they're not prepared to show you an equal level of respect, it could be time to move on
>>
>>17525983
You're a masochist and she's gonna step on you until you have no use to her anymore, lel
>>
>>17526942
Dump her ass and follow your dreams.
>>
These conflicted feelings of mine are driving me mad. On one hand I just want to talk to you all day as much as I can, on the other hand I want you to live your life there and enjoy it to the fullest. I'm both happy and angry when I see you having fun without me. I'm heartbroken that I won't see you for a very long time. We've been together for so long and I'm just not used to not having you by my side.

I'm unbelievably proud of you for taking this opportunity and I would never want you to give it all up for me. I just never expected it to hit me this hard. I can't focus on my own priorities because all I think about is you. But you'd feel horrible knowing that, so I won't tell you. I just wish I was there by your side to experience it all with you, you know...
>>
I hate that you sent me mixed feelings and making me not sure whether I should go for you or totally fuck off from your life. Even though we just met, I can feel that our characters are compatible, and now I'm stuck in this limbo of whether to continue talking to you or not. Fuck you. I'm done.
>>
>>17528314
Stay strong brother. Things will get better in the end :) Why is she gone for so long tho?
>>
>struggle with self confidence issues all my life
>Start lifting, get told I've become much more attractive and I cater to the exotic look
>Feel good about myself
>Post pic on IG
>Someone commented i am ugly af

I...feel crushed.
I don't know where to go from here.
>>
>>17528346
She got a scholarship to study abroad. She'll be gone for at least one year, maybe two. Thought it wouldn't be that bad because our relationship is very strong but it still left me feeling empty inside. Not even sure if I'll be able to visit her because both she and I have a tight college schedule and it takes nine hours of flying to get to her.
>>
I love my new boyfriend, when we"re together, I feel on top of the world, come rain or shine. He has been a good friend so long, and our work or tasks sometimes keep us apart more than we want, and we hate being apart. I really need him to trust me, as i'm completely faithful to him, and hope so much he is too. I can't stand being away from him for long at all
>>
>>17528451
Is this from D to M?
>>
She was the only girl I've ever fallen in love with. I could tell she liked me as well
But I was too much of a wimp to confess, so I graduated without telling her anything
>>
Daryl

now I don't want to leave at all

Melanie
>>
>>17528584
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LBVvRO2GCwM
>>
I feel bad that I am so untrustworthy of people. When people ask me what's wrong, I always assume it's a trick that they're either nosy or happy I am going through a rough time and their life is good. I think it's because some of the people I have confided in just end things weird like "oh" or "okay man take it easy" and that's it, wash and repeat. I think they mean well, though.
>>
Most of the people here are just plain people who lie to themselves saying they are something else and 94% of the qt3.14 are just plain girls.

People should be more down to earth, there is no need to fake things like this. We are who we are, no need to lie; just always try to improve yourself and be realistic.
>>
All men are selfish, you're no different.
>>
>>17528333
Initials from/to?
>>
Everything I say or do just seems to result in my girlfriend being more depressed or miserable than before. Thinking about asking her if she'd be better off without me. I just want some answers and honesty.
>>
im lonely
>>
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I've had a 7 month stomach ache and I'm craving chicken from Johnny Rockets.
>>
>>17528634
What makes you say that?
What did they do?
>>
>>17528634
People can be selfish. Not necessarily. Let's not generalise
>>
im sack of lard I weigh nearly 6 stones above the the norm 5'10" never had a date

never had a kiss

I got a part time job of sort of and the work is good and it pays well

its just that some times I feel lonely

and lets not for get the mild PTSD from my accident just before X-mass

all I see is my mangled up hand
>>
I wish I wasn't such an autist piece of shit. The only form of communication I can sustain is through email and even then I have trouble replying. I've been trying to work on replying faster but normally the only responses that come to mind are one sentence long and I have to force myself for hours to come up with something more. I'm never happy with what I send.
>>
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my chances are way too good right now, or at least better than ever before

if something happens at that party .what am i going to do next?, i've never been in a relationship before and the last relationship she was in ended when her ex bf cheated on her with her best friend

i wonder how long we could last, i know it will be super akward at first, we are both outside students, so i don't really have a lot of money for dates

The teacher told us that this carrer would consume us so we should forget about having gf/bf .but damn i can let this i cant let this chance slip away
>>
I'm pretty good looking, good build, smart and a nice guy.

I have a good job.

I have good friends who would go to hell and back for me.

I exercise regularly and have look and feel overall healthy.

I have no problem talking to people and am a generally sociable and confident person.

But I am also a kiss less beta who despite all he has and all he has worked for feels deep down inside like a worthless sack of shit. I have know multiple times of girls who were interested in me and they were girls who had their head screwed on straight while being good looking. I have never once acted on these opportunities and have never approached a girl in the hopes of hitting it off. I talk to girls who are friends on the regular with no problem. I just cannot understand why my fear of rejection and embarrassment is taking over my life.
>>
My girlfriend doesn't share with me her problems, but I do mine, with her. I fear this won't end well.
>>
It hurts to poop :( everytime its like Im pooping hedgehog :(
>>
>>17525797
Obviously she doesnt give a shit about you. If you can. cancel the trip, get your money back and treat yourself. I dont think its a good idea to visit her if she act this way towards you. If she was stressed or bothered by something she would tell you, instead she just toss you away like youre trash. Believe me, its a mistake to go. DONT.
>>
>>17529114
How long have you been dating? My relationship basically ended because my partner was emotionally unavailable and suddenly ghosted me to avoid talking about our feelings/problems. I tried my best to accommodate it during our time together but in the end it got too much. You shouldn't waste too much time of her if you don't see improvement or you'll end up very hurt.
>>
I really think I should have gone to a psychologist by now, but if I ever go to one, I don't think I'll be able to open up 100%. I can't even do that with my parents or my friends, how will I do that with someone I don't even know??
>>
>>17528669
Me too anon.
>>
I don't want/need a hugbox per se, but I would just like to find someplace on the internet where the ratio of decent people to salty bitches is a bit better. it's not just 4chan anymore, it seems like it's everywhere. maybe it's me just hitting middle age and getting old, but it just feels like the harder I look for good things in humanity, the more bullshit I find.
>>
Get a job, they said. Become successful, they said.

Too bad they fucking left out the part where you get so dedicated to your career that you barely even remember who you are and your friends start texting to see if you're dead because they haven't heard from you in months.

I fucking give up. I've already lost at life by not having wealthy parents.
>>
I've been struggling with a speech disorder all my life, only the last few years and just now as a young adult did I begin to realise how serious of a thing it is..

I mean, I know i can fix it, it's just very difficult, takes up a lot of time and practice, having no support from parents is extra hard on me.. I don't know, if I don't fix it, I probably will never get a good job, not even talking about a gf, because that's out the way for sure

I just want to wake up some day and have it miracuously fixed, idk, I just want to be like thousands others who can just say anything they want without thinking for good ten seconds and paraphrasing the sentence in your mind just to being able to say it so that others could understand it..
>>
>>17529046
Just ask yourself, what's holding you back then, only fear? I mean there are no disabilities, no illnesses, just fear that will slowly pass once you start dating, maybe with the first girl you get on with or with the second
>>
>>17529125
Ruh-roh : (
>>
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So I might be forced to move to states away from friends I was finally able to make and keep as well as the way of life I'm used to due to the fact I cannot currently much support myself without parents. We currently live in Texas and they want to move back to Cali since we have no family here at all and they would like to be closer to, which is fine. My problem though is that there's currently nothing for me there. I'm too estranged from family members there to ever really comfortably get close to them ever again, I'm almost finished with my associates here and to transfer to a Uni out there would be too much, and I'm as shy and awkward as can be and to move away from the one friend group I have been able to make, get close to, and stay with for this long is a painful thought.

It's been taking a silent toll on me since my dad first told me, I'm just not really ready to leave where I'm at right now. But what can I do? The only job I have rn is a part time one that barely pays above min wage, and I already put in for leave from it due to me being full time the next 2 semesters to finish my associates before I was told about this. At best I could maybe stay at one of my friend's place for a while and try to find a better job and what not, but I don't have any experiences in these things. I'd need to get a car, actually talk to my parents about.....it's a lot. I feel a bit embarrassed since I'm barely turned 21 and it feels like others around me at this age or younger would know better what to do but. I just needed to get this out since it's been on my mind lately but I can't tell it to any of my friends since it's only being thought out and I don't want to get them unnecessarily upset about something that might not happen for a while (though with dad heavily looking for job openings there, in about a years time doesn't sound too unlikely...)
>>
I really fucking hope tomorrow goes well. This is sort of something I've always wanted to happen, and I've avoided big opportunities for this to happen. Just hope I don't fuck it up.
>>
I like masterbating in people's belongings or on
>>
>>17527540
That's good to hear! Hope it goes well.

>>17527721
>It will be because they like you for who you are when you're not even trying.
I've always found this a strange sentiment. For some people, it just isn't realistic. For example, nobody's ever liked my father for who he is, and i doubt anybody ever could. At 40, he finally gave up and put on an entire phony persona to avoid dying alone. I disagree with his decision, but i have to feel sorry for him. Nobody should have to be in that situation in the first place.
>>
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>>17527753
>I also hate all social media and deleted my facebook 4 years ago
Why? What's the point of deleting it? I have a facebook account i just check every month or so to make sure people can contact me somehow if they really need/want to (nobody ever does, but just in case).
>I always hated school even though i liked learning i just hated everything about being "forced" to learn
Pretty sure most of us feel that way.

>>17527777 (czech'd)
>like her desktop background on her computer was just a collage of pictures of my best bud
Man, that sounds like a fairy-tale deal. Like pic related.
Also nice quads.
>>
>>17527930
Are you male or female? Can cover some types of issues with heavy makeup.
And just get a job that doesn't require looking pretty.
>knowing others are gonna look at my face and have disgust as their first impression makes me sick.
That ain't true. When you look at someone with bad cystic acne, what's your first impression? Mine is just something like "damn, that must suck".
If i see someone with a butterfly rash, i think "hmm, probably lupus. Interesting disease, wonder what symptoms they might have..."
And so on.
We're not all mongs who think "wow what an ugly shit, they probably got that when someone with herpes came all over their face"

>>17528082
>we both gave the impression we wanted to meet up and spend more time together
So go do that. Ask him if he has time to hang out tomorrow. It's not like you're asking for his hand in marriage.
Don't have to commit to anything serious until you're both ready.
>>
I'm barely a youngin and people keep thinking I'm 5 years older than what I actually am at college
speaking of college I'm already stressed to the point of me not really wanting to hand homework and shit
I'm trying to get a good social environment but I keep on getting upset by any inconvenience in any conversation.
I even tried dating a guy and I ended up being really uninterested by any relationship offer, despite my parents expectations of me being the fist of my siblings to get married.
I lowkey think that it could be a baggage of mine because I didn't confessed to the girl I liked in highschool
yet again in highschool I had really shitty homophobes for friends
right now im just really sexually frustrated and emotionally disconnected
>>
I love you, more every minute. I know it doesn't seem possible, but really it is. My love is home! He completes me, completely
>>
>>17528102
I'm happy for ya. Hope it lasts.

>>17528741
>im sack of lard I weigh nearly 6 stones above the the norm
Fix that. You can change your body.
I used to be a total scrawny nerd. But today i put on a tshirt i hadn't worn in a while, and it was great to feel it stretch over my chest and back.
Don't do it for girls though. They don't deserve it. Do it for yourself.
>>
How could she get away with threatening to get people to kill me, how could she get away with beating me up again, it's all on film the police laughed at me.
I'm tired of living in misery, the nightmares of people killing me stopped after a couple weeks but I still get scared often.
How come she gets to live her life completely unphased by this whole situation and I'm all fucked up.
What can I possibly do to stop hating myself? Why can't I just live my life without these awful feelings and thoughts.
How come someone so awful like her will find love, and I'm doomed to a lonely miserable life.
I'll never be good enough to keep a girl around, some people could live a full life without a relationship but I'm just not that kind of person.

I just want to love someone with all my heart and not have them lie to me, and hurt me.
>>
Went out a girl a few times, the last time, I tried to kiss her but got the cheek. Wasn't sure if she just wasn't into me in that way, or maybe she wasn't ready/etc, so I tried making plans when I knew we'd both be off work, but then didn't hear back. So I think that's it.

I really liked her, and it sucks that it didn't work out, but ultimately can't really say that I regret it or that I blew it, since I do actually like her in that way and trying to make a move was the only real way to gauge her feelings without flat out just asking like a weirdo.

I guess I don't really need much in the way of advice, I'm just bummed out about it.
>>
Today I'm officially homeless. Sitting in a shelter and I feel so out of place. So hopeless. I feel like I'm breakdown any minute and just cry.

I can't believe it. I never thought something like this would ever happen to me. I just don't know what else to do now. I might have to drop some classes because it's just too far for me to make it in time.
>>
>>17529713
You're not doomed, anon. Don't let this terrible person convince you that you'll never be good enough. She can't control you anymore, and an ugly personality is harder to fix than forgiving yourself. See a therapist, confide in your close friends or family. That could help ease some of these thoughts.
>>
>>17529773

I deeply appreciate you responding with something so encouraging.
Got a lot of stuff to work on, so at least I'll keep busy right?
>>
I can't stand touching satin. It makes me shudder.
>>
Sigh.
>>
>>17529780
I had an abusive partner so I understand the trauma they can cause you to have even after they're not around anymore. Keeping busy is very good. It'll keep your mind occupied. But don't ignore the negative things that come into your head. It's better to acknowledge them now and analyze them without letting it consume you. Otherwise you'll never leave yourself alone, and their image will occupy your mind for a much longer period of time. She sounds like a terrible person, and you can try to find some comfort knowing that even if she does find someone new, I doubt she'll recognize the things she did to you and why they were wrong. I'm sorry you've had a hard time trying to reach out to others about it and they just laughed at you. Don't hate yourself. You didn't do anything wrong and there's nothing wrong with you.
>>
>>17529713
This sounds terrible. What happened? How old are you?
>>
I think I'm starting to hate weekends for the same reason that I hated the later parts of summer vacation. At least during the week I have class to give me an excuse to go out and see any talk to the people I know.

On weekends I'm alone. I haven't said more than three words to anyone today.

I've never felt so alone. Nothing I do fills the void. I don't know how I'm going to go on like this. I don't think I can.
>>
>>17529943
Addendum: why couldn't I have just brushed my teeth, turned off the light, and fallen asleep? Why did I leave my dorm and go to sit on the roof of this parking garage? Why is this of all places a spot where I feel safe?

Am I just insane? Is that it? This is not how normal people deal with their feelings.
>>
>>17529890
>>17529928

tl;dr: I'm 20 and we lived together for a couple years, she was abusive and when I decided to try and seek a bit of justice I got laughed at.
>>
Just had an incredibly awkward encounter in the laundry facility.
I wish there was some standard universal way to say "i don't understand a single fucking bit of what you're trying to tell me".

Also, reading this >>17527041 >>17527154 >>17527165 is interesting. I haven't had any friends since i was a little kid, so I don't know how most people are, but of all the people i've tried to befriend or who have tried to befriend me over time, i don't think a single one of them would have felt bad in any way if i randomly blocked them on everything. Hell, they may not have even noticed.
Even girls who've supposedly had crushes on me seemed like they wouldn't care at all if i suddenly disappeared.
Do normal people really get that attached to each other?
>>
I never liked having a family. Never. I try not to talk about them or even mention them since I am embarrassed to even admit that I am related to them. Having relatives who live with you is such a burden and I honestly, more than anything in the world, want to live on my own for ONCE.

I seemed to have been decently treated throughout my life, but my mother has always been a bitch and I can't even remember the last time that she spoke kindly to me. We never get along. I have a sister who only ever watches anime and listens to nightcore, a brother who works a lot and who is moving in two days, and a father who is obsessed with celine dion and who annoys me on purpose just for his own entertainment.

I already have my own problems with my studies and the electricty and now my family is only adding to the list. They've always been a problem and after having to deal with them for all these years, I want them to stop bothering me so much.

Seriously. I get headaches at night from my mother telling me off, my dad acting like a little kid, and my sister playing her obnoxious music on high volume that it's become a health issue.

I don't wanna ask my sister to stop since that would be rude considering that she doesn't have headphones and it's her music, I've already asked my dad to stop every fucking day, and as for my mother....let's just say that I've lost all hope for her.

I'm seriously out of options. I even tried running away once but since I live in the middle of nowhere, I ended up walking back with my brother's old girlfriend and that was certainly amusing.

I would give anything for them to shut up and for once leave me be. My mom is a selfish bitch that will believe anything she hears and she is the one I am the most sick of (as you can tell.)

Help?
>>
I'm having trouble dealing with my feelings lately, I think I'm getting ghosted by a girl I was falling for. It's putting me in this mixture of anger and sadness because this shit never fails to always happen. Everything in my life is repeating itself in its hideously mundane ways.
>>
I feel a sense of loss, something is wrong. As though I'm dormant and just sleepwalking through life.

I've failed at whatever I thought I could learn, and perhaps cannot change. Might go on a drug addled journey through the woods. It's time to re-awaken, but I'm beginning to realize I don't know how. Or some part of me is unwilling.

Don't know what's wrong with me. But it's been this way for a very long time.
>>
>>17530046
I'm sorry for the late response, I'm the anon you replied to. Sometimes people have a strong connection with others, like if this happened to one of them, the abandoned one would mentally break.
>>
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I got friend-zoned by my crush, but she said that I'm her "best friend." One whom she doesn't feel awkward around. "Like family." So.... Best-Friend-Zoned? It sucks too, because there were like 5 other girls who I know for a fact liked me at school. All of which I don't care about. One of them is a top straight A student. Robust, has a ton of guys drooling over her. And she likes me, yet I prioritized the person I can relate to more. But I got friend-zoned by her. Why even live anymore. I turned down a bunch of girls just for her; now I don't even care anymore. I just want to stay single for the rest of my life. As long as I know there were people who were going for me, I'll be able to rest easy, knowing I could've had a girlfriend/wife, or whatever, if I wanted to.
>>
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I decided to do some of those symptom checkers yesterday, for my stomach issue. Appendicitis was the top diagnosis on all of them. If that were the correct diagnosis, I would have been dead 7 months ago, when this began.
>>
>>17530090
I know that feel. Like most people, i fixed it by moving out.

>>17530191
>abdominal pain
>i'll tough it out, doctors are for pussies
>[7 months later]
>hey maybe i should google it
This is why women live longer than us
>>
>Girlfriend and I broke up
She's been crying since the day it happened because she realize she fucked up and still loves me and still has crying attacks 1 month later according to one of our mutual friends (she left me to pursue a guy she met during a work trip, apparently nothing happened but still...)

>feel like life lost some meaning
I deposit way too much of my happiness on being in a relationship or not, being with this girl made me feel so high and now that it all ended I am feeling low and depressed, playing world of warcraft all day, masturbating way too much and being depressed to the point where I can't even start studying for my exams in 1 week

>having urges to just quit everything, get a bike and travel around europe
>>
Every single day. I miss him. Everyday I ponder if i should message him or not. its been so many months. Even though it seemed like everything was perfect I feel now that I have changed for the better. there are so many things I would like to say, but a simple hello may be enough. He probably would disreguard it. I worry about him helplessly. I still care about him but i understand that he likely does not want to date me again. The worst part is that since he disappeared from me, the tables have turned and I know what it feels like to want nothing to do with someone. The last thing I would want to be for him is a burden when he was my whole sky. It wasnt that he was outstandingly attractive or wealthy. There was just something about him. He was kind to me, we bonded and he made me happy. I loved him for himself and I thought it was mutual.. I am not sure what to do, I feel worthless and empty even after all this time. I hope that he is okay and enjoying life.
:,( Why? Why?? why..
>>
I don't want to fuck things up with her but I feel like I already have.
>>
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>>17529472
Not really sure why I deleted it. I think it had something to do with me being paranoid about the whole "Facebook owns what you post" thing. Plus I just never used it
>>
>>17528118
Now that i think about it, i do have a headphone adapter plug lying around somewhere that i haven't used in a while.. It does make practising by ear a bit more fiddly, but it's def worth it. Thanks for reminding me anon!
>>
What i like most about you is that you like the real me. I never really put up a facade for you, I've almost always been completely real with you. Maybe not the first few times i met you, but for long enough to know you're not liking something fake.

No, it's me, I'm so comfortable being myself around you, and you like me for whatever reason. Maybe because I'm mean and give you so much hell and even though I'm shy I'm not afraid of you. I've enjoyed our dynamic so much. The way we bounce off of each other is so much fun. And i always feel so damn happy around you. I seriously can't wait to see you again.
>>
>>17525606
Good for you!

See you next week!
>>
all I wanted was to improve the world
but the only way I can
is by removing myself from it
>>
Not sure where we go from here. I don't want to move on, I know that, yet perhaps I'm getting mixed signals. I feel like we're perfect together, and my feelings for you are so strong. Please let me know if you're still interested as I don't want to lie to myself if you're not. I know we balance each other. I love you. I need to see you. I what us to help each other. To share our lives. To go out together, even when it's just for a walk. I want us to make a relationship
>>
It annoys me that people think it's alright to stand in the way of our relationship and say horrible things about age difference, even when it's no more than 16 years, and we're both fully grown adults in love with each other. They can fuck right off
>>
i have a thread but no one is on it so this is a long one and i just need help so a couple years back my best friend alex liked this girl cloe i liked her to but i didnt say anything so over the years i got closer with her and we became best friends. i never told her i had feelings or him and i began to love her because i thought she was amazing so alex and cloe break up i try to comfort alex and later i found out cloe found someone on omegle (later i found out he was very controlling) a couple weeks go by and he stabs her and almost kills her. i go see her and i almost cried and was so torn because what he did to her. i try to be their for her and we were on the couch and she wanted me to hold her and hold her hand i kiss her on the head and we hung out for a bit later like a day later i tell her i always loved her and no matter what i will be here for you etc.we start video calling at night and she tells me i help her sleep and wishes that i can sleep with her. (she is still with omegle guy.) i see her again and i hold her and hold her hand even longer and tells me she wishes i can see her more and be with her more. i tell her i wanted to be with her to take care of her but she said maybe in the future. so i see her a day later and the same thing hold hands i kiss her head and cheeks and i hold her i dont know what do to i feel like i left out info so if you have a question just ask also i want to know what you think i should do / what you think
>>
You look at me as if I'm your wife. I love it. As far as I know, you don't have one. Yet
>>
If you don't want us to take this any further, then I won't try to show you my feelings, as I have been. It will hurt so much, but at least I'll know I haven't met anyone like me after all
>>
>>17531127
We may be in somewhat similar situations, or at least be able to relate on whether or not we've found someone similar to us. Care to tell more, anon?
>>
>>17531132
I want to be with the love of my life. I'm a woman
>>
>>17531089
That means when you were born he was already a 16 yo guy who had a 7 in cock nobody wants a 16 fuck a toddler
>>
>>17531155
We are both now in middle age, not toddlers. Nothing weird about it
>>
>>17531155
Its less than 16 years
>>
>>17530266

I'll let you in on a secret, I'm not a dude

This is why girly-girls live longer
>>
>>17531157
He's a pedophile
>>
>>17531832
I don't think you know what that word means m8
>>
Still gotta break it off with fwb, but every time he calls or texts I'm busy or asleep.

Ugh I feel gross about this. But I owe him nada.
>>
>>17531832
No he isn't. Fuck off. I'm sick of these accusations. We are not children and are extremely happy
>>
>>17531882
He's gonna drop you like its hot when you hit the wall
>>
>>17531896
What?
>>
>>17531902
When you're old and ugly he's going to leave you
>>
I don't really like my gf
>>
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I've always been a stoic person, rather emotionally stunted. My best friend died at age 5 and since then my feelings seem fuzzy and static. Even when my dad left it hardly bothered me. Small moments of triumph and laughter, of course. I can enjoy myself but feeling truly happy is something that only happened when I met this girl. I got scared. I didn't take things seriously and now they're falling apart due to cultural differences and my complacency. I fear going back to nothing, feeling sadness and worry and joy, what Ive never felt like before.
I honestly think I'd rather be dead than living in the haze.
>>
>>17532017
Then tell her
>>
>>17531910
Thanks for that. Your opinion is noted
>>
>>17532035
Plz someone make me feel less like shit
>>
>>17532035
Find her
>>
>>17532098
What do you mean
>>
>>17525476
I'm going to be honest with you. I've wasted two years in this hellhole with you. Every second of my life I have to remind myself of this. I had dreams. and whether it be through eugenics or my upbringing or the lack of intrinsic motivation in my life for even the most basic of things, I just keep coming back to you.
You are nothing but a leech. If I keep coming back, you'll just keep using me. I cant think of a single moment of intimacy that we've ever shared before. I hate you. But I hate myself more. You will never learn and I will never change. When I get back tomorrow, we're through. Fuck you for taking my life. Fuck you for filling my head with lies and false promises. Fuck you for making me believe in something that would never come true. If I run away now, I don't know where I'll be going, but at least I know that if I do, it will hurt me far more than it will ever hurt you. In a way, were both leeches. and that's why I think we're just killing each other inside. Goodbye forever.
>>
My friend told me the other day that I act emotionless and I'll be alone my whole life if I don't drastically change who I am. He's right.
>>
>>17532076
I don't want to be an autistic single again
>>
>>17532118
Fuck you for giving up on us
>>
every single girl I've asked out said they just wanted to be friends. I'm trying to fix it but I don't know what the hell is wrong with me.
>>
well mom and dad i can't have a fucking normal conversation with you because you automatically dismiss my opinion as shit or not worth of your time. Also, the reason why you don't fucking know anything about me is because ever since I was little you guys showed no interest in my stuff or in what I like.
violin or cello music? "haha chord crap am i right???"
theatre? "what the hell? how do people call that thing art??"
Keep being stuck in the fucking mindset that I still like the same things as when I was 14. Ridiculous.
>>
I want to take you to the art gallery
Though I'm afraid
I will not be able to look anywhere but you
I want to walk through the rose garden
Hand in hand and slowly fall in love with you
The way i do
I want you to ride along
For my highest highs
And my lowest lows
Won't be so miserable
If you're by my side

I want to see you first thing in the morning
On a lazy Sunday
With your arm draped around my waste
And your breath hot on the back of my neck

I want to know how you like your coffee
Black, as i like mine
Or creamed and sugared until the bitterness disappears

I have so much to share with you
And so much time
I'm happy to move slowly
As long as I'm moving slowly with you
>>
>>17532355
Waist, gdi. I fucked the whole thing up hahaha
>>
>>17532355
Beautiful, heartfelt
>>
Has anyone else ever felt a disconnect from their body? I don't know how to really describe it. I was at work and ask of the sudden I felt kind of floaty. It kind of felt like I wasn't in my own body. I had full control and I will looking through my eyes, but it almost felt as if I was a video game character. I had full control but I just felt off.
Other than that I've been pretty miserable. I feel like life hates me, I know I'm just being melodramatic, but i haven't had a win in so long, every day is just lose, lose, lose, lose, lose. I'm tired of it, I'm tired of this life. I'm tired of trying to be someone im not just so I can l pretend I friends that I share little to nothing with.
I don't want to die but I'm losing my will to live.
>>
Please stop gambling
>>
>27
>single
>failed uni
>only work experience is bar work
>in a ton of debt
>no job
>alcholic
>didn't turn up for my last two shifts at work as I was fucking hammered
>don't know if ill get a reference
>didn't go to my own leaving party cause I didn't think anyone would show
>moving back home today

Sucks and its all my own fault. Really gonna have to work hard if i'm gonna make something of myself. Or else ill become an even bigger loser than I all ready am.
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